Podcasts · Health & Fitness · Education
The Overwhelmed Brain
Paul Colaianni: Relationship and Emotional Abuse Expert
300 episodes
Get to the root of emotional issues and learn the best way to relate to yourself and others by honoring your personal boundaries and making decisions that are in alignment with what's most important to you.
More about the show
This is not a "common-sense" personal growth and development show. You won't be told to think positively or create affirmations. The Overwhelmed Brain is about accessing that deeper mental and emotional strength inside you so that you can decrease or even eliminate old fears and evolve into the person you want to be.
Learn what your parents or caretakers never taught you about emotional wellness and creating strong, non-toxic bonds with others.
If you want the exact instructions that will help improve your life, you're in the right place.
Episodes page 3 of 6
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How your coping mechanisms may be interfering with your happiness
How you cope with challenges affects... well... your whole life really! It can be helpful to know what your coping mechanisms are and where you learned them so that perhaps you can examine them and choose different…
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The massive, impossible, overwhelming circumstances that make life feel hopeless
Problems can add up, compound, and create a situation so impossible to get out of that there seems to be no hope. Is it total defeat or is there anything you can do?
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Can you heal from the big reveal of your partner's past?
So you get someone special and you're feeling pretty good abou things, but then they reveal something they did in their past that takes all those good feelings away. Now you're not sure what to do about it. Can you get…
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Those "Nothing" people when you ask what's wrong
What do you do when someone won't share what's on their mind? They're acting very different, but they're refusing to say why. They might even tell you nothing's wrong. But you know something's up...
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The family bonds that require boundaries
What happens if you marry into a family that doesn't really honor your presence or your boundaries? Sometimes their family doesn't feel like yours, especially when you feel like a total outsider because of how you are…
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Arguing your way to understanding
If you find yourself caught in misunderstandings over seemingly simple matters like where you should store your house paint, you're not alone. Can clear communication prevail during an argument? There's a challenge in…
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The bonds that never seem to end
If you find you can't get certain people from your past out of your mind, the deep connections we form might go a lot deeper than we think.
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When your relationships aren't exactly high quality or authentic
Some relationships can be shallow and superficial. Some can be toxic and harmful. Then there are those that are quite meaningful. Why can't they all be meaningful? There might be a way to do that... but it comes at a…
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What to do when someone you care about shows more excitement about their interests than you
Some people like things we don't. Some get excited over the things we find uninteresting. What happens when their interests become more exciting to them than us? Do we accept our place in their line of priorities? Or…
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When people treat you as you were, not as you are
Learning and growing is a natural part of life. Some people embrace those changes in you, but what about those who don't? What if all they see is who you've always been and aren't willing to see the new you?
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When you love someone so much it doesn't matter how much they hurt you
Can love keep the relationship together and override all? A loving person can also hurt you. But is love alone enough to resolve the deeper issues and provide long-term happiness? It's a very important question worth…
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Can we get past the issues that divide us
If you find yourself frustrated by divisive political or values conversations, this episode might be for you. Is there a way to maintain positive interactions despite opposing views? Hoping I can help you get off the…
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Dealing with hurtful people who won't change
Have you ever wondered why some people just won't change no matter how much you try? Don't they see that they are hurtful and toxic? Why can't they just be "normal"? I try to answer all of these questions and more in…
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I didn't ask to be born and I don't want to be here
If you find yourself questioning the value of your existence or struggling with deep-seated negativity, this episode addresses those heavy, existential questions that might be weighing on your mind. How do you cope…
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The people who don't grow may never accept your growth
When certain people in your life prefer the old you instead of the new one, you may face their resistance and maybe even their frustration. When you learn, heal and grow, you let go of old dysfunctions and sometimes…
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Can an unempathetic person develop empathy?
Relationships require empathy. Without it, you will have an imbalance that will not only feel lonely, but also emotionally toxic.
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Obsession and regret - when you just can't stop thinking about what happened
Why do obsessive thoughts take over our minds? What keeps them there? And why can't we stop them after they start? There are so many questions about something so pervasive and invasive that I try to answer in this…
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The part of you that you don't want others to see
Do you ever wonder why it's so hard to show your true self to others? I explore how hiding parts of yourself can affect your relationships and what it takes to foster deeper emotional connections by embracing…
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Moving out of a full life of toxic family
Leaving a toxic upbringing and the dysfunctional family home can bring about anxiety, fear, and even loneliness. Trauma bonding is real. Childhood experiences deeply impact adult behaviors and coping strategies, often…
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Relationship challenges, insecurities, and questions
Relationships shouldn't be hard, but we know they can be. When they are more challenging because of their issues, or ours, or both, it's helpful to find the glimmer of light to shine on a seemingly dark situation. In…
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What will you sacrifice to be happy?
Sometimes, happiness requires a loss. Many people aren't willing to take that loss, which might be the very reason they are unhappy. Getting to happiness isn't always just doing what makes you happy. It can be deeper…
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Know your worth
Sometimes we have to make a tough choice and give someone the bad news about our next step. That next step? Could be telling your boss you quit or a partner you're leaving. Some people can't handle bad news so you may…
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The missing ingredient that can sometimes make or break a new relationship
Sometimes making new friends or romantic partners takes more than compatibility and similar values. There's an important ingredient to making connections at a deeper level and keeping those connections in your life. At…
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The growing, compounding negative emotional energy building up inside you
Unexpressed emotions can amplify inside you, causing you to build a tolerance for bad behaviors. What happens when you can't hold any more negative energy? Are you inadvertently building up resilience to things you…
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Jumping to conclusions and overreacting
There's a good reason to manage emotional triggers to prevent damaging reactions in relationships. In this episode, I share a five-step process to visualize and prepare for these moments. There are long-term…
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Fool me three times, uh, shame on you again
How many chances should you give someone before you realize that chances are only delaying the inevitable? Whether it's a friend, family member or partner, some people won't change. And when they won't, we may have to…
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You hurt me and now I want you to hurt... forever
When you hurt someone, whether intentionally or not, there are several things that could happen: Maybe they forgive you, maybe they don't. Maybe they are willing to move on. Maybe they take a while to heal but…
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Trying to connect with the emotionally disconnected person
When someone emotionally distances themselves from you, is there a way to get them back? Is that the beginning of the end? There are ways to talk with the emotionally disconnected person that may get you to the…
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Why do some people have such a short fuse?
Have you noticed a rise of negative interactions in online communities and even in person? Are people's emotional temperatures getting hotter? It'd be great if we could resolve issues maturely, but some people would…
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Should you convince people who don't like or trust you to like or trust you?
What do you do when someone doesn't like or trust you? Do you try to make them realize that you're not so bad or that they are wrong about you? I'll share why this doesn't always work.
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When shame, guilt, and regret keep you from moving forward
The guilt and regret from something we did in our past can haunt us for the rest of our lives. Living with guilt decreases happiness and is a constant reminder of who we were. I share how I alleviate guilt when it…
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Is your fear in control of your life?
Do you do and say what you want to do and say without fear? Or is fear in the driver's seat? If that's the case, you may never be as happy or fulfilled as you want to be. It's important to figure out just who is the…
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How we make others feel unworthy without doing anything at all
How can you show someone you care about that they are worthy? You could probably think of many things. But are you doing anything that might make someone you care about feel unworthy? You may not even realize you're…
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When your lessons come back to test you
Our past lessons and learnings can sometimes sneak up on us as a challenge to pass to prepare us for what may come. "Passing" usually means facing a fear of some sort. "Failing" usually means repeating the same old…
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What if I have no clue who I am?
Have you ever been told to reconnect with who you were, but really have no clue who that is? Some people started their life in a toxic or dysfunctional environment and have no healthy self to reconnect with. What do…
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When family believes they know what's best for you
As an adult, you've learned to take care of yourself. You believe you are making the right decisions and following the best steps you can to find happiness. But then there's family. Some family can believe you're doing…
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When all feels lost and you believe nothing will ever be good again
Experiences of loss, such as a breakup and losing your job can have a profound emotional impact on you. In fact, it can feel devastating. Afterward, a childlike confusion can follow. Will the pain, sadness, or…
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Trying to avoid overwhelm and disappointment while moving toward your goal
Going for goals can be, well, disappointing. Trying to get something done might give you feelings of failure when you don't get it done. Are you a goal setter or do you wing it? I hate goal-setting myself. I'll share…
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The inner conflict of tough decisions
What drives the important decisions in your life, fear or desire? In this episode I talk about a person's fear of visiting his father because of family that doesn't want him there. I also talk about how to start…
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Can a chronic complainer ever be content?
There's a fine line between real suffering versus just getting stuck in a cycle of feeling sorry for yourself. The chronic complainer's suffering is real, but is it self-inflicted? Do they really want to change? And do…
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Stuck in the middle of someone else's relationship issues
Trying to encourage a friend in a relationship to see the truth about their toxic partner can come with its own set of challenges, especially when the friend doesn't want to hear it and the toxic person wants to shut…
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When the new person in your life still has feelings for their ex
What happens when you fall for someone who might still have feelings for the person they were with? Is it a relationship that can survive? Or will the fear of them returning to the person they cared about before you be…
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How do I deal with someone always putting me down?
When someone constantly puts you down, it's not just hurtful; it's destructive. I'll share some personal strategies that could help you navigate these rough waters, aiming to keep your self-esteem intact.
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The quirks that might make others judge us
A "germaphobe" shares their challenge at a work function with food being the catalyst for an embarrassing moment that ended up in tears. When you have behaviors and nuances that others might judge you for, do you hide…
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Can challenges and conflicts lead to happiness?
Why is it so hard to strike a balance between our own happiness and the happiness of those we care about? In today's episode, I tackle the challenges of relational conflict and the importance of acknowledging when…
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Am I wasting time thinking it's ever going to get better?
Is there light at the end of the tunnel of a troubled relationship? Past difficult relationships can certainly leave you with sensitivities to current and future ones, so it's important to make sure you align with…
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When you don't want to accept that thing they do
Why is it so hard to strike a balance between supporting someone's goals and managing our own reactions? Sometimes, we have to traverse a tightrope walk of love and support without the comfort of a safety net. When you…
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You only get along when you agree they have no flaws
Should you concede to another person's flaws to maintain peace? We all seek approval at times, but in some relationships, this quest can take on a different hue, especially when one's own insecurities are creating…
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Will the long-term lie tear the relationship apart?
What is the consequence of withholding a big secret from the person you are supposed to have an honest, transparent relationship with? Secrets can lead to lies that lead to people feeling betrayed, causing pain when…
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Should you keep the door open to people who want to close it?
Enforcing boundaries with family is hard enough, but what if they want to enforce them with you? What if they want to close the door to your relationship, even though you didn't do anything wrong? In this episode, I…
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