Podcasts · Health & Fitness · Education
The Overwhelmed Brain
Paul Colaianni: Relationship and Emotional Abuse Expert
300 episodes
Get to the root of emotional issues and learn the best way to relate to yourself and others by honoring your personal boundaries and making decisions that are in alignment with what's most important to you.
More about the show
This is not a "common-sense" personal growth and development show. You won't be told to think positively or create affirmations. The Overwhelmed Brain is about accessing that deeper mental and emotional strength inside you so that you can decrease or even eliminate old fears and evolve into the person you want to be.
Learn what your parents or caretakers never taught you about emotional wellness and creating strong, non-toxic bonds with others.
If you want the exact instructions that will help improve your life, you're in the right place.
Episodes page 4 of 6
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Why you can't get through to some people
Why do we sometimes struggle to make ourselves understood? You know that moment when you're explaining something you're sure you know inside and out, but the person you're talking to just isn't getting it? It's not…
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The tiny things that improve your life
Have you ever had a tiny squeak in a door in your home that irritated you every time you used it? What happens after you oil the hinge and the squeak goes away? To some, it can feel like a life-changing moment! That…
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Challenges come in all shapes and sizes in romantic relationships
Romantic relationships bring their share of challenges. In this episode, I Why is it that even with the best intentions, relationships can feel like navigating a minefield? You might have experienced the tension that…
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When friends and family think you're making a bad decision
Your friends and family really want the best for you. But what are they going to say when they see you make a decision they believe is just crazy? I explore that very topic in this episode. A woman writes to me and…
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Holding on to guilt
Do you feel bad for what you did? Do you feel guilty? How long ago was it? Is feeling guilt a necessary component of healing? In this episode, someone feels guilty for moving on without their friends from the past and…
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Carrying around the past can screw up the present
The past shapes who we are today. Sometimes, that past is also what haunts us today. And sometimes, it even torments others even when we don't mean to. Digging into ourselves can be the hardest step toward mental and…
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Standing proud in your own worth when others are incapable of seeing it
Unfortunately, there are people in the world who will never see your worth. They may, in fact, be incapable of seeing anything past their own judgments. That can be tough to deal with sometimes, especially if these…
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BONUS - Time to sleep
This is a sleep episode. Listen when you're ready to go to sleep. Make sure your podcast app doesn't automatically play another episode as it might wake you up. This episode has a long silence at the end. Enjoy your…
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The toxic partners of friends and family can make life more challenging
You may encounter situations where a friend or family member is closely involved with someone whose behavior is toxic or dysfunctional. While they may be unaware of the adverse impact of their partner or friend, it…
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Where do you look when you believe this is all there is?
How deep do you have to dig in order to figure out who you are? What do you need in yourself and for yourself so that when you connect with others, you are connecting from that deeper, authentic place inside you? It…
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Struggling with the fear of death
Some people have an existential dread surrounding death and dying. For some, death remains a profound mystery, while others hold steadfast beliefs about what lies beyond. Regardless of where you stand, if the fear of…
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Please get off your phone and pay attention to me
When people you care about put their attention on other things, like games or their phone, you may feel like they are ignoring and even neglecting you. If they are, that doesn't feel very good. What should you do? Tell…
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When perpetual resentment is the new normal of the relationship
What happens when there is a huge challenge in a relationship, perhaps where one person wrongs the other in some way, and the relationship changes for the worst... forever? Can it be salvaged? Is it over? Can there be…
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Are your most private thoughts yours alone or for others know too?
Is the landscape of your mind your private sanctuary filled with thoughts and imaginings that may not always be suitable for others to hear about? What do you do when someone urges you to reveal your innermost…
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The part of you that can take over when things get tough
As adults, we have the right to make decisions that others may disagree with. While they may point out the risks, the decision eventually falls on our shoulders. And making certain decisions in the face of trusted…
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Things are good and bad and mostly bad until they're good
The up and down, or high and low, of any relationship or circumstance can wear you down until you are worn out completely. But can we get addicted to the ups and downs? Can our desire for the next high point keep us in…
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When bad things keep happening to you
Changing how you respond to and cope with challenges can improve your relationships and life overall. When you're getting the same, bad results over and over again, it might be time for a new perspective to help you…
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Asserting yourself without getting aggressive
Asserting yourself is an act of self-love, not aggression. It's about recognizing your worth and preventing future conflicts. Don't let guilt from past experiences hold you back from showing that you are worthy of…
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Is it possible to patch things up with family who won't let go of the past?
What happens when you can't get along with someone because no matter how much patching up you think you've done, it's still not enough? Is there an end to this process? Will they ever want to forgive and forget?
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Maintaining a healthy relationship with your therapist, coach, or healer
When you get a therapist, coach, or healer, you can run into what might be called a "human" experience - the kind of experience where the people-helpers in our life might have some of their own stuff to deal with, and…
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The lessons that can change your life for the better
Life brings us huge lessons. We can learn and grow from them, or we can allow them to hold us back. Some lessons, however, were definitely worth the hardship - especially ones that change life for the better.
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When you're feeling judgmental and critical of those you love
I once called judgment "the ultimate relationship destroyer." Judgmental and critical behavior toward those you love will make them love you less. It's a fact. It's undeniable. And if you want to keep people in your…
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Getting through every day you can't stop thinking about what happened in the past
Dwelling on an event in the past can keep you there. It can occupy your brain every day until you can think of nothing else, causing you to miss what's right in front of you. This kind of obsessive thinking can make…
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Can you stay connected to friends and family that don't share your values?
A friend or family member does behavior that you find immoral or maybe even illegal. Do you keep the connection because they are a great person otherwise, or do you move on staying in alignment with yourself? It can be…
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We're told no one can make us feel anything... Yeah right
What is your responsibility when it comes to your emotional state? Can others control how you feel? Do they have that power? We're told that we can choose our emotional state, but I just don't think it's that easy when…
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Filtering out the good and bad to clear the way for the great
Just how can we navigate through life's challenges and overcome overwhelm? The path to overcoming overwhelm can sometimes look a lot different than you think. Addressing the weight of negative emotions can begin the…
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Crawling out of the deep hole of being someone you're not
When you compromise your wants and needs, especially because you believe it will benefit others, you erode your deeper sense of self and happiness. Do that for years, and you can dig yourself a hole so deep, it may…
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How do you cope with people who can't cope?
What do you do when someone you care about withdraws and simply can't cope with [you, work, life, etc,]? Do you let them be? Do you try to talk them through it, acting like their therapist or coach? Sometimes it's…
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The direct path to stronger bonds
Direct communication can save you a lot of time. But most people don't use it. Instead, they focus on what they can say to keep things "safe" and non-confrontational. But that tactic can sometimes lead to an…
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There are good people that do bad things and bad people that do bad things
Trying to accept people as they are can be challenging. The old adage about good people can do bad things certainly applies to many of us. But what about bad people who do bad things? Sometimes people are bad and won't…
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The path to emotionally reconnecting with yourself
When you feel judgmental and critical toward someone you love, it might be time to reflect and figure out if you've lost the emotional connection with yourself. Emotions can help us to nurture relationships or erode…
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Sometimes you have no options left so you become depressed
Feeling stuck, like really stuck, sucks. And when you feel like you have no other options but to accept your circumstances, it can feel sad. And sometimes, you can even become depressed, making you wish you could at…
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When confidence feels impossible
Where is confidence when you need it? Today I share five unorthodox strategies for increasing confidence in life that you may not have ever heard of.
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Trusting the deeper part of you that is watching out for you
Sometimes we fall in love before listening to our instincts and then get into a relationship that is definitely not healthy for us. There is a deeper part of us that we're supposed to listen to, but sometimes we don't.…
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The hard steps that lead to happiness and a life worth living
Just how far are you willing to go to feel comfortable or even be HAPPY in your life? Are you willing to do whatever it takes? What if whatever it takes means facing fears or even losing those you want to keep in your…
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How to approach those you know will be upset by what you say
You can talk to certain people all day long, and they won't take things the wrong way. Then there are those that can't seem to get past a certain perception of you and take almost everything the wrong way. This episode…
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Trusting someone to make the right choice
If you find yourself witnessing someone approaching a perilous situation in everyday life, can you trust that they'll make the right decision to avert the danger? This isn't about catastrophic events like car crashes…
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Are your feelings wrong?
Some people say, "You shouldn't feel that way," or even worse, "You don't feel that way!" In either case, you can be tricked into believing your own thoughts, feelings, and emotions are invalid. If that happens, you…
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How many strikes do you give someone before they're out?
Some relationships are easier than others. The person you care about in your life may be sweet and kind 50% of the time, but what about the rest of the time? Will that be enough for you to stay and endure the bad to…
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The big, scary choices you might have to make to add more peace and comfort to your life
Why does getting to a more comfortable place in life seem to be so difficult sometimes? Some choices seem impossible to make. When that happens, what is the best strategy to make such impossible choices? Great topic to…
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When your happiness depends on and maybe even drains another person
What happens when those you care about become jaded by your dependency on them for your happiness? Are you inadvertently wearing them down and dissolving what could be a great relationship? Sometimes we drain others…
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When everything bad happens to you and tomorrow will be just as bad or worse
Where do you turn when everyone and everything is against you? Just how bad can your luck run? Do you feel like a constant victim to the world and believe there's nothing more you can do? Sometimes life throws us curve…
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Thinking you should have accomplished a lot more by now
Do you spend a lot of time looking at other people and what they've accomplished and start regretting some of the decisions you made throughout the years? How about just feeling like other people are luckier than you?…
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Don't forget yourself: Taking the leap out of codependent behavior
You give and give and maybe you get back, maybe you don't, but you feel fulfilled by giving so much that you keep on doing it until, perhaps, there's nothing left of you to give. Sometimes we can get so caught up in…
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Old coping skills that don't work like they used to
How you cope with challenging situations determines how you feel in your day, your week, and maybe even for the rest of your life if you don't improve or even change your coping mechanisms. Coping is a skill, but it…
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Should I accept who they are or move on with my life?
Some people refuse to change. Something gets in the way. Maybe it's their pride. Maybe it's fear. Or maybe they really don't care how you feel and if you have a problem with them, it's your problem, not theirs. I talk…
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Does vulnerability increase love and connection?
What does it take to feel love and connection? What does it take to show love and connection? Is vulnerability the path? What exactly does it mean? Can you have a strong, loving relationship without the need to be so…
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Getting accustomed to getting older
How do you feel about aging? Are you trying to avoid it at all costs? Are you doing everything you can to prevent it from happening? You may not be able to prevent it, but it's important you understand your emotions…
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Toxic bonds that might need breaking
Don't let toxic people take your energy away from you. Often, those who deserve the most attentive and vibrant version of you won't see that until you've let go of the one person who keeps you feeling bad and drained.…
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The next steps in a stuck relationship
When the relationship isn't moving and is no longer enjoyable, what's the next step? Is it possible you're incompatible, even though you've been together for years? I talk about a couple of relationship issues in this…
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