Podcasts · Health & Fitness · Education
The Overwhelmed Brain
Paul Colaianni: Relationship and Emotional Abuse Expert
300 episodes
Get to the root of emotional issues and learn the best way to relate to yourself and others by honoring your personal boundaries and making decisions that are in alignment with what's most important to you.
More about the show
This is not a "common-sense" personal growth and development show. You won't be told to think positively or create affirmations. The Overwhelmed Brain is about accessing that deeper mental and emotional strength inside you so that you can decrease or even eliminate old fears and evolve into the person you want to be.
Learn what your parents or caretakers never taught you about emotional wellness and creating strong, non-toxic bonds with others.
If you want the exact instructions that will help improve your life, you're in the right place.
Episodes page 2 of 6
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It's in some people's nature to bring you down and drain your energy
If someone's passive-aggressive remarks are making you question your own self-worth, how can you take back control? There are ways to handle toxic interactions and keep your power.
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Wanting more than friendship when they don't
I think the phrase, "Lovers for a moment, friends for a lifetime" is very true in many cases. Sometimes a friendship can develop into something more. Other times a development could end what was already great as-is.…
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The growing resentment of people and circumstances you just can't accept
What is your level of toleration, and how long will you endure behavior that crosses your boundaries before you've had enough? It might be time to dole out accountability and make hard decisions.
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The most empowering question to build your self-confidence
Self-esteem and confidence come naturally to some. For others, the bridge to confidence is long, full of obstacles, and not worth the trip. There's one important question to ask yourself to be able to cross that…
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Everything is good except the idea of marriage
A woman shares her struggle about getting married, feeling as if she isn't special because her partner has been married in the past. What is making her feel this way? Can this be overcome?
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My abusive ex wants me to sit next to him at our child's wedding
A mom doesn't want to sit next to her abusive ex during her child's wedding but doesn't want to come across as selfish. Is it selfish to make healthy choices that will keep you happy and safe? Important discussion today.
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Why is finding and connecting with others so darn hard sometimes?
If you feel like an outsider in a world that seems unrelatable, could it be because you're yearning for authenticity in your connections? I know I am. Making friendships and romantic relationships can sometimes seem…
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When it's always your fault
If you find yourself constantly being blamed for everything going wrong, it's time to question whether you're being manipulated into believing what may be a deflection. In this episode, I tackle the sometimes tricky…
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The childhood trauma we try to leave in the past
If returning to your childhood hometown stirs up memories you'd rather leave behind, does that mean you're not ready to face them? I'll dive into this area with a heartfelt question from someone seeking closure from…
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The intense pain, longing, and pining over the one who left
If you're struggling with the feeling of emptiness after a breakup or loss, is it really about them, or something deeper within you? I'll share my own experiences with heartbreak and loneliness, and why understanding…
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Waiting and waiting for others to change
How long will you wait for someone to make changes to treat you better? At what point do you decide enough is enough and move on without them in your life? And is there anything you can do if change seems impossible?
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10 Life lessons that will help you in your pursuit of happiness
A list of ten life lessons to help you achieve a happier, more fulfilling life... perhaps. Some lessons are scary to implement. Some are a must if you find that you can never quite achieve fulfillment.
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How do I know when I'm ready to love again?
How do you know when your heart is ready to embrace love again after weathering the storm of a toxic relationship? What should you be prepared for at the start of a new relationship? I talk about that and the draining…
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The giant waste of time you spent with someone or someone spent with you
If you've ever felt like you're trapped in a time loop of bad relationships or self-destructive patterns, you're not alone. Why do we sometimes stay in situations that don't serve us? And were those situations a huge…
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The formula for making hard decisions
Do I change my career? Do I move? Do I wait? If I change, will I be happy or sad? Never let life's hard decisions stop you from making decisions that are right for you?
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What's the real reason you keep getting into "those" kinds of relationships?
Sure, some partners are toxic or dysfunctional. But what if they're not that at all but just not that bright? What if you are trying to squeeze something out of a partner that simply doesn't exist? Does that make…
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Did a pedophile groom her daughter into marriage?
This episode is about a pedophile grooming a woman's daughter. If you're a parent who listens with their child(ren), I wanted you to be aware of this before you played the show. There are no graphic details, but be…
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The fears and insecurities that push away those who get too close
If you get close to someone, they see the most vulnerable, deeper part of you. That can be a scary thing, especially if you've been hurt before. And sometimes we feel the need to protect ourself from such scary things.
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Are you giving away your power?
Some people seem to have a toxic gravitational pull that affects everyone around them. And whether you're with them or not, they are either on your mind or in your space. Getting away from their influence can feel…
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The way we tell others to go away may make them stay
If you've ever wondered how to keep toxic people out of your life or if you're questioning the role of personal boundaries in shaping your reality, this episode is for you. I share insights on why the words you choose…
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The wife who seems unfazed by her husband's family health
If your partner seems uninterested in your family, does that signal a deeper issue? I'll dive into this area with a specific question from an upset husband wanting to wrap his head around the realization that his wife…
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From dark to light - the path to courage
The path to empowerment sometimes involves massive, scary steps that might just change you... for the better. What it takes is courage. Where can you find the courage? It's closer than you think.
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Every opportunity offers a choice to stay the same or change forever
Are you walking around with unresolved feelings from your past? There are many opportunities that come our way that give us a chance to move forward without being weighed down by our past.
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Constant bickering back and forth
What do you do when there's bickering and nitpicking and you never seem make progress because there's always some unresolved issue or drama that needs to unfold for some reason?
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You're stuck and there's nothing you can do about it
When you know for a fact it's impossible to get out of the situation you're in, something might come along and push you so far that you find the impossible just might be possible after all.
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When your best intentions turn into their disappointment
The perfect night... almost. I read a reddit post where a user outlines a scenario where his best laid plans didn't pan out as he hoped, but he almost got everything right. That is, until his wife felt disappointed and…
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Is that really you inside your head?
Our inner critic can be our own worst enemy. Knowing where that voice comes from and if what it's saying is actually true can mean the difference between your happiness and your sanity - hopefully you get to keep both!
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Some people are a black hole of suck all your life then they're gone
The person who has been a toxic presence in my and my family's life has died. It's not necessarily a normal episode, but hopefully you'll gain something from it as I share the story and the lessons.
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Those who never follow through what they say they're going to do
Some people seem to be stuck in a cycle of promises and no follow-through. When is enough enough? Some people use delay after delay to get away with never having to follow through with anything. Those people usually…
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When you want to be more than friends
What do you do when you ask a friend if they would like to be closer, but they say no? The ramifications on the friendship can be anywhere from nothing to complete disaster. Is there a way back to being friends after…
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When you should avoid making decisions with lasting consequences
Some decisions have a long-lasting effect. Sometimes that effect is positive; Sometimes it's not. . When you decide to get into or out of something, it's vital you don't set yourself up for failure and regret.
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Life isn't exactly fulfilling when you are holding on to upset toward someone
When you're holding on to that little bit of anger or upset about or toward someone else, maybe someone who is not even in your life anymore, it can decrease the quality of your happiness, maybe even diminishing it to…
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Stay in control or let it go?
Do we have to carry the weight of our past negative experiences into our future? Staying in control and letting go of it have the very same effect. I get into more detail about that in this episode about choice.
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The games our loved ones play
"Go ahead, have a great time! Wait, are you leaving without me? What about my needs? No, I mean go ahead and have fun. I'll be good! Hey, don't feel bad about leaving me alone, I'll be fine. Oh, you don't feel bad? Why…
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What is love?
How you define love will be what you get from it. If you don't have a definition for love, you may get stuck with something that appears to be love, but is really something else altogether. If you are 100% happy with…
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Never put your faith in anyone who makes you feel unworthy
People who care about you should lift you up, not kick you when you're down. If someone keeps dragging you lower, trusting their words is like giving a vampire the keys to the blood bank.
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When every argument is petty and unresolved
Arguing isn't fun, but if it's going to happen, it should at least be productive. But what if it's never productive and you never get anything resolved? That's the question I tackle today.
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The big life lessons that can change everything for the better
There are some life lessons that we have to force ourselves to go through in order to make our circumstances better. Those lessons can feel like a massive leap over a bottomless chasm. But the rewards for such a leap…
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Am I really the problem?
If you find that you define yourself in a negative way based on someone else's perception of you, you must listen to this episode. Is what they're saying about you really true? If you think that, we need to address…
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Should payback for bad behavior be a relationship norm?
What are your rights in a relationship with someone who is mistreating you or acting badly? Is it okay to get back at them and reciprocate with similar or worse behavior? What's fair in relationship warfare? Good…
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Decluttering the overwhelmed brain
If you find your mind feels like an overstuffed closet, and your actual closet is also overstuffed, I'll try to help you balance the mental and physical clutter in this episode. It's a special episode that strays away…
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When empathy is used against you
Some people can be draining, especially if they play the victim after they've done bad behavior and expect you to empathize with them. Some people are very, very good at doing that. I talk about those people today.
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What can keep you stuck with the same results over and over again
Our childhood coping mechanisms shape our adult relationships. Sometimes the old fears keep us from moving into new, better territory, keeping us stuck where we are.
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Washing your hands of a problem that won't go away
Some problems won't go away until you walk away from them. But walking away can be hard... sometimes impossible. And sometimes it involves sacrifice. And is walking away the only answer?
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The pressure of sex and expectations in an established relationship
Sometimes emotional and sexual expectations can be challenging to balance in a long-term relationship... but do they have to be? Or is intimacy just difficult with certain people who seem entitled to receive it instead…
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Feeling like you have no choice but to submit to ungrateful, uncaring people
You know the type: They do nothing and you do everything. In this episode, I share the struggle of a woman who has a rocky relationship with her adult daughter who moved back in with her. I share a lot of thoughts and…
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The partner who likes things as they are when you're just miserable
When you live with your romantic partner... And their relatives... And your partner doesn't seem to want that to change... What are your choices? Very hard question! I thought I'd tackle that today.
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The people who avoid you
Are you trying to reconnect with someone who's unresponsive? Maybe they want nothing more to do with you and maybe you don't know why? And maybe this episode gives you the final step to take with others who seem like…
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The judgments you have about others that keep you unhappy
If you've ever found yourself trying to change someone's habits or feeling frustrated by their behaviors, this episode might help you learn what it takes to deal with and maybe even heal with someone you just can't…
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How your coping mechanisms may be interfering with your happiness
How you cope with challenges affects... well... your whole life really! It can be helpful to know what your coping mechanisms are and where you learned them so that perhaps you can examine them and choose different…
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