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Podcasts · Health & Fitness · Education

The Overwhelmed Brain

Paul Colaianni: Relationship and Emotional Abuse Expert

300 episodes

Get to the root of emotional issues and learn the best way to relate to yourself and others by honoring your personal boundaries and making decisions that are in alignment with what's most important to you.

More about the show

This is not a "common-sense" personal growth and development show. You won't be told to think positively or create affirmations. The Overwhelmed Brain is about accessing that deeper mental and emotional strength inside you so that you can decrease or even eliminate old fears and evolve into the person you want to be.

Learn what your parents or caretakers never taught you about emotional wellness and creating strong, non-toxic bonds with others.

If you want the exact instructions that will help improve your life, you're in the right place.

Episodes page 6 of 6

  1. Does bad behavior ever deserve a free pass?

    · 1 h 04 min · Episode 442

    Is saying "I didn't mean it," a good excuse for bad behavior? Some people can be out of control due to drugs or alcohol, so they might do stupid things when they don't really mean to do them. However, should you ever…

  2. The smile of denial that keeps you feeling miserable

    · 1 h 16 min · Episode 441

    If you tend to suppress your thoughts and repress your emotions, and put on a smile to show the world, you might be on your way to depression and anxiety. If that's your goal, don't change a thing! However, if you want…

  3. Is honoring yourself supposed to destroy relationships?

    · 1 h 15 min · Episode 440

    Honoring yourself doesn't have to be about hurting someone else. It's not about making them feel bad, it's about expressing to them what makes you feel bad and what you will and won't accept for behavior. Problems…

  4. Are you being mean but don't mean to be?

    · 1 h 09 min · Episode 439

    Arguments are never fun. When you both take a stand to make your points, it can lead to some heated exchanges. You can recover from a heated exchange. But when the argument takes a turn to insulting and belittling…

  5. Following the path that serves you best even if it feels the worst

    · 1 h 15 min · Episode 438

    Sometimes you have to let things go and take a new road in order to find a sense of peace and comfort inside yourself. The new road may come with a high price that has an even higher reward. Are you going to pay the…

  6. The pain of loss

    · 1 h 14 min · Episode 437

    The pain of loss shouldn't be stuffed down and avoided, it should be felt at the deepest level, but only when you're ready and only at the pace you can handle. Everyone experiences loss differently so what works for…

  7. Stuffing emotions way down there

    · 1 h 05 min · Episode 436

    Whenever you deal with an event that upsets you in some way, if you stuff an emotion down and never deal with it then or later, you're going to experience a diminishing of your overall level of happiness and…

  8. How you can sabotage your own happiness waiting for others to change

    · 58 min · Episode 435

    Waiting for someone to change is often a waste of time. They can promise and tell you they're working on it, but are they? Has anything changed in the past day, month, or year? Or do things seem eerily familiar day…

  9. Questions to ask yourself to get to the deepest layer of repressed emotions

    · 1 h 13 min · Episode 434

    We all know that anger and upset can hide so many emotions that you may not even know what's under there. If you become emotionally triggered and wish you didn't, learning which questions to ask yourself so that you…

  10. How complex does something have to get before you decide to quit?

    · 1 h 11 min · Episode 433

    Sometimes life can take you in a direction you don't want to go. But you don't always have to end up with the bottom-of-the-barrel results you may get. It might take some planning and some scary steps, but there is a…

  11. Training yourself ahead of time to deal with difficult people

    · 1 h 28 min · Episode 432

    There's always someone that's harder to deal with than most other people in your life. And when you have to deal with them, do you have all the self-empowerment tools at your disposal to get through the interaction…

  12. Taking the big leap into self-worth and self-esteem

    · 1 h 04 min · Episode 431

    Sometimes becoming happier in life involves taking huge steps that seem so scary when you're going through them, but come with the reward of increased self-worth and self-esteem. And when you take that leap of faith, a…

  13. Are difficult people really doing the best they can?

    · 58 min · Episode 430

    If you know that a difficult or even toxic person in your life is not doing the best they can to show up in a way that tells you they're at least trying to improve themselves in some way, maybe they are not capable. At…

  14. Is there an answer to the lying, manipulative child?

    · 1 h 14 min · Episode 429

    Some people will lash out and rebel when they feel like they aren't being heard, or they're holding something back from the past. They swallow anger, sadness, and more, and that can turn into depression or the ultimate…

  15. People can change but what about when they don't or wont?

    · 1 h 09 min · Episode 428

    Sometimes we're stuck with someone that doesn't have our best interest in mind. Not only that, they may even have a not-so-pleasant plan to make us miserable. What do you do with the toxic person that doesn't want to,…

  16. What do you do when you're so tired of the world being against you?

    · 1 h 20 min · Episode 427

    It can get tiring trying to do the right thing, be the right person, and say what you're expected to say. On top of that, when you try, it can sometimes feel as if the world has turned against you, and now you're a…

  17. Should you be happy letting go of people who are a vortex of misery in your life?

    · 1 h 07 min · Episode 426

    Should family, no matter how toxic they are, be in your life because of your relationship with them? Some people are so emotionally dangerous to be around that unless you distance yourself, you will always suffer when…

  18. The betrayal of relationship trust - Emotional Affairs

    · 1 h 26 min · Episode 425

    Emotional affairs almost always lead to pain. They are a betrayal of trust and an escape from the conversation you should be having in your relationship. Sometimes you have to bring up the hard truths so that those…

  19. Does your amazing personality intimidate others?

    · 1 h 04 min · Episode 424

    Some people have so much self-confidence that they carry themselves in a way that might put certain people off. Those confident in themselves can be kind, respectful, supportive, and caring, yet their personality can…

  20. Email Grab Bag 4 - Rising toleration of bad behavior, from victim to victor, porn ruining the relationship

    · 1 h 15 min · Episode 423

    I read three emails from people in three different circumstances. The first one is a troubled marriage where the wife doesn't know why she is staying and can't figure out how to make the decision to leave. Segment two…

  21. The obstacles that block the path to self-worth and happiness

    · 1 h 11 min · Episode 422

    Self-worth and happiness is a right. It should be something you proudly claim without fear. Yet, so many people have trouble believing they are worthy, or worse, worthy of happiness. It's time to clear the path of…

  22. What did you sign up for in the relationship?

    · 1 h 21 min · Episode 421

    When you sign up for a relationship, you sign up for who they are now but are you signing up for who you hope they'll be as well? Are the expectations that should be met when it comes to a relationship? And if they…

  23. Just how deep do you have to dig to heal unresolved issues?

    · 1 h 10 min · Episode 420

    The past can wreak havoc on the present, especially on your relationships. If therapy, reading, watching videos, and learning all you can about how to improve and heal isn't working, sometimes you need to dig so deep…

  24. Should you erase every speck of old relationships to focus on new ones?

    · 1 h 01 min · Episode 419

    Is true love supposed to last throughout your life? Should you feel love for those that have wronged you in some way in previous relationships? Is it healthy? Having that loving feeling for previous partners in your…

  25. Some people just like to put you down and keep you there

    · 1 h 03 min · Episode 418

    The relentless pursuit of power over you is where some people are in your life. They come at you, offend you, insult you, and expect you to do what they want. It's easy to dismiss when they're strangers. But what about…

  26. Perfectionism is a fantastic procrastination tool that sabotages what you value most

    · 1 h 09 min · Episode 417

    Perfectionists, workaholics, and procrastinators unite! At least for this episode. Perfectionism is almost a disease that sabotages your path and takes away your precious time for more important things in life.

  27. Is it me or them? Difficult people that make you think you're the problem

    · 53 min · Episode 416

    How many times have you thought you might be the problem when the reality might be much different than that? Are you the honest type that will take responsibility when you discover you're at fault for something? Are…

  28. Is it selfish to focus on your own personal development when others need your time and energy?

    · 1 h 00 min · Episode 415

    If you've reached a level of personal growth of development that you are happy about and are ready to take it to the next level, but those around you are still in a place that forces you to slow down and meet them…

  29. Should you be more tolerant of bad behavior when they can't control themselves?

    · 1 h 03 min · Episode 414

    Sometimes we can't help ourselves. Anger can come out of the blue and suddenly, we're hurting someone we care about. I received an email from someone who believes that sometimes you need people in your life to…

  30. How your body image can make you do things you may regret

    · 25 min · Bonus

    If you have ever dealt with body image issues, this is an important episode that addresses the subject of someone who lost over 100 pounds and learned that people treated her much differently afterward, She was living…

  31. Can dysfunctions be useful?

    · 1 h 07 min · Episode 413

    Fears you learned to cope with in childhood can easily turn into dysfunctions as an adult. How you cope today makes a huge difference in what happens in your life and who you keep around in your life. Sometimes you can…

  32. Does it make sense to try and change a controlling person?

    · 1 h 04 min · Episode 412

    The more you try to please a controlling person, the worse your life will get. Highly controlling people cannot be satisfied because people around them will never be able to do enough to meet their criteria. Even when…

  33. The best kind of relationship is the one where you can be yourself

    · 1 h 27 min · Episode 411

    Romantic relationships can create some of the most complex emotional challenges in your life. From heartful to heartache, from elated to deflated, relationships bring us through a roller coaster of emotions until we…

  34. When you don't want to deal with someone else's fears, worries, and anxiety anymore

    · 51 min · Episode 410

    It's a challenge to stay present for someone who is so down and out. Sometimes you go into your own "stuff" trying to help them with theirs. It's the curse of many highly sensitive people, and certainly difficult for…

  35. Sometimes the best healing and growth takes place away from other people

    · 1 h 02 min · Episode 409

    We can create our own dysfunction but be so jaded by those around us that we can't think clearly enough to stop toxic or hurtful behavior. There's a time when you have to get away from other people so that the fog can…

  36. The inside the box thinking that keeps your emotional triggers alive

    · 52 min · Episode 408

    Many unresolved emotions sit outside the box of current thinking. Albert Einstein said, "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." When you aren't getting the results you want…

  37. What fills the holes left behind when people leave you or die?

    · 1 h 00 min · Episode 407

    When someone you care about leaves or dies, there is a space inside you where they used to be. Your identity was wrapped up with them. They were a part of you. And because of that, when they're gone, you can feel lost.…

  38. Is it always necessary to dive into the past to heal old traumas?

    · 1 h 18 min · Episode 406

    Where should you start when it comes to healing old stuff from the past? Should you do a deep dive into your childhood, bringing up all kinds of memories and traumas that you may or may not have repeated to therapists…

  39. The part you play when you get terrible results

    · 1 h 05 min · Episode 405

    There's a cause and effect to patterns of behavior that, if you don't recognize the relationship of those behaviors to the results you're getting, you may be creating results that you don't want. However, when you find…

  40. When feelings of inadequacy prevent you from enjoying what's right in front of you

    · 1 h 11 min · Episode 404

    When the feelings of inadequacy overcome you, do you let them linger in the background? Do you repress them so that they come out in emotionally destructive ways later? Inadequacy usually has a source. We'll talk about…

  41. Self-reliance, self-respect, and a mindset to go along with it

    · 1 h 16 min · Episode 403

    A single thought can change everything. Your perception relies on your mindset which relies on your thoughts. This is a multi-faceted episode covering three different topics but reminding you of the importance of…

  42. The hidden emotions that may be inside you and you don't know it

    · 1 h 08 min · Episode 402

    Most people aren't taught emotional intelligence in their upbringing. And because of that, there are often lingering negative emotions hanging around inside us that might need to be addressed if we're going to…

  43. Closing the door so that you can stop overthinking and start moving forward

    · 52 min · Episode 401

    Sometimes you have no idea why someone did something that hurt or affected you somehow, and you just have to know the reason. You may never find out because they won't share that reason. I call this an open loop. It's…

  44. The Ten Commandments of Personal Power - Part 2

    · 1 h 05 min · Episode 400

    Part 2 of a two-part episode. Personal power, or empowerment, has a formula. That formula can lead to a much more enjoyable and fulfilling life. Knowing the formula is the first step but following it is an entirely…

  45. The Ten Commandments of Personal Power - Part 1

    · 1 h 21 min · Episode 399

    Personal power, or empowerment, has a formula. That formula can lead to a much more enjoyable and fulfilling life. Knowing the formula is the first step but following it is an entirely different animal. Let's talk…

  46. Random romantic relationship questions answered

    · 1 h 15 min · Episode 398

    About 90% of the people that reach out to me have a question about their romantic relationship. That makes sense because relationships can be complex and tricky to navigate. In this episode, I tackle four relationship…

  47. Learning to counter rude and intimidating behavior from others

    · 1 h 02 min · Episode 397

    Whether it's the jerk at work or that one person in your family that just doesn't like you, rude and intimidating people can be found in any corner of the world (and under many rocks). In this episode, I share seven…

  48. Getting comfortable in your own skin

    · 1 h 07 min · Episode 396

    Getting comfortable in your own skin is more than developing confidence and facing the fear and doing it anyway. Confidence is one component. There is also self-worth, self-esteem, self-compassion, and self-love that…

  49. The secret to making passive-aggressive people less aggressive

    · 1 h 07 min · Episode 395

    Passive-aggressive people have a knack for making you feel bad without you even realizing they're making you feel bad. Their covert methods are designed to poke at your emotions like tiny emotional daggers. If you want…

  50. When their sexual history bothers you

    · 1 h 07 min · Episode 394

    Your sexual history is yours, but some people like to make it a big deal and cause you to feel guilt or shame for things you did long ago. Whether you regret what you did in the past shouldn't make a difference because…

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