Podcasts · Kids & Family · Education

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Dr Maryhan

300 episodes

Hello, I'm psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves.

More about the show

Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday's you'll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday.

The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any qualification and is absolutely possible for each and every child; we just need the right information and support around us to teach them.

The old saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child” couldn’t be more true than now. Parenting has got a whole lot harder; not just because we are busier than ever but because our children are growing up in an ever changing, fast-paced world, which is so different to the one we grew up in. Our children have more pressure to be better, look better, do better, and in a world where lives are so publicly scrutinised and commented on through social media it’s really no wonder we’re seeing mental health problems sky rocketing amongst children, teens, and young adults. What you can expect from this podcast are honest conversations about parenting.

We’ll talk confidence resilience, anxiety, managing tech, and all the topics you’d expect as well blowing the lid off the widely help misconception that children are innately resilient. They’re not!

This podcast is for people who want to get real about parenting. You understand it can get messy sometimes and aren’t afraid to admit it. I have had more than my fair share of messy and I will no doubt share these with you along the way. I won’t dress things up but I will always give you something practical to take away and use in each and every episode. My guests and experts will be real people who have overcome their own adversities and bring with them a message to us as parents, as well as inspiring stories.

So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation...

We'd love to hear from you!

We want to hear what you love and what you don't love about the podcast, so we can keep making it better: https://podcastsurvey.typeform.com/to/SEyYrxGB

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Episodes page 2 of 6

  1. The Meals That Carry Us Through Hard Seasons with Helen Hopkins

    · 41 min

    In this episode, you’ll discover a completely different way to think about feeding your family - one that saves you time, money, stress, and emotional bandwidth, and joining me is Helen Hopkins, better known as The…

  2. Good Parents Doubt Themselves Too

    · 14 min

    We all have an inner critic. Even us parents. In today’s episode, I explore one of the most overlooked but powerful ways to lighten your emotional load and quieten your inner critic. Modern parenting gives that…

  3. Homework: Building Persistence, Resilience & Independence

    · 23 min

    Hands up if you like homework… Me neither. But homework isn’t just a task to be completed. It’s a powerful opportunity to build persistence, resilience and independence in your children. Homework can so easily…

  4. Bucket Emptying: Living with Parental Guilt

    · 19 min

    In today’s bucket‑emptying episode, I explore what it really means to live with parental guilt - that ever‑present tug that arrives the moment we become parents and never fully disappears. I talk about why guilt isn’t…

  5. What Every Parent Needs to Know About Siblings

    · 30 min

    Do you have more than one child? Are they constantly fighting for your time and energy? So how do you parent siblings? In today’s episode, I explore how birth order shapes your children’s development, behaviour, and…

  6. Bucket Emptying: Does Distraction Tame a Tantrum?

    · 16 min

    In this episode, I will explain the viral “Where’s Jessica?” distraction trend and discover whether it truly helps your child manage big emotions. I am going to show you why distraction can work in the moment - the…

  7. Helping Children Manage Uncertainty

    · 33 min

    In today’s episode, we will explore how to help your child navigate life’s inevitable uncertainties, from exam results and friendship turbulence to school transitions and family change. You’ll learn why shielding your…

  8. Bucket Emptying: Foundations to Building Confidence

    · 22 min

    In today’s bucket-emptying episode, you’ll learn the three essential foundations your child needs before confidence can grow. If you’ve got a child who avoids challenges, gets overwhelmed easily, or insists they’re…

  9. What I Know for Sure About Raising Confident Kids

    · 33 min

    Today is my birthday, and it’s become a tradition of mine to reflect on life and what I’ve learned. So this year I’m reflecting in public, on the podcast with you. I am going to share my top ten parenting lessons,…

  10. 5 Powerful Reflection Questions to Build Confidence in Children

    · 15 min

    I talk a lot about confidence, because it’s super important, and it’s something we all struggle with - yes, even us parents! But a lack of confidence can manifest in so many different ways, it can be really tricky…

  11. What to Say When Your Child Feels Anxious

    · 24 min

    Anxiety is not a one size fits all thing. It can show up in so many different ways, from school refusal to bedtime worries and everything in between. We think it’s our job as parents to find the magic solution, but…

  12. Good Mum, Not Enough Mum: Why It Still Never Feels Like Enough

    · 16 min

    Spoiler alert: being a mum is hard. It’s ok to be a good mum and feel like you’re not enough. You might feel like you can’t tell other mums that, but I promise you we are all feeling the same. So in this bucket…

  13. Why Your Child Won't Listen, and One Thing to Try Tonight

    · 18 min

    Do you ever feel like you are speaking to a brick wall? Do your kids sometimes ignore you as if you’re invisible? Do you feel the frustration eating away at you? Well let me tell you something - you are not alone!…

  14. Bucket Emptying: After School Meltdowns

    · 11 min

    After school tantrums are anything but random. Often, they are a sign that your child has been trying super hard to follow the rules and be on their best behaviour all day - and for neurodivergent children they could…

  15. The Manosphere and Raising Boys

    · 24 min

    From Adolescence to Louis Theroux, the manosphere has become a mainstream talking point, and that’s a good thing! The manosphere is a term associated with toxic behaviour. Me, you, and all other parents out there know…

  16. Bucket Emptying: 5 Mindset Shifts Before Returning to Work

    · 16 min

    Returning to work is not easy, especially for new parents. You’ve probably had an extended time off. Your routine is different, your priorities are different, and life is different - you have a child now! So going…

  17. Thriving as a Single Parent

    · 26 min

    There are many myths about single parent families, and I’m telling you they are not true. The success, wellbeing and happiness of your child has nothing to do with how many parents they live with. In fact, children…

  18. Bucket Emptying: 30 Second Reset

    · 17 min

    Calm down. Every parent knows these are the worst two words you can ever say to your child in the midst of a meltdown… and we’ve all learnt the hard way! Bringing your kids down from a tantrum can be impossible, and…

  19. The 9 Expectation Changes to Supercharge Success

    · 33 min

    You have high expectations for your kids. Every parent does, and I get it! But sometimes we can present those expectations in ways that may not be as supportive to our children as we hoped. Last week I talked through…

  20. Bucket Emptying: Grabbing the Opportunity

    · 16 min

    The UK government has opened a public consultation on a potential social media ban for under 16 year olds, and this creates a huge opportunity for us. It’s not just about giving our opinion to government, but as…

  21. 9 Modelled Bevahiours Boosting Academic Success, Confidence & Friendships

    · 32 min

    If you have not yet watched American skier Eileen Gu’s interview following her silver medal at the recent Winter Olympics, click the link below, because it blew me away! Her confidence and self-assuredness is an…

  22. Bucket Emptying: Parenting in Public

    · 17 min

    Children should be seen and not heard. Do you agree? We’ve all heard that expression, and we were all probably told this by our own parents! But I have noticed more and more examples of adult only areas of public…

  23. Managing Emotional Outbursts

    · 32 min

    Outbursts, tantrums, meltdowns… whatever you call them, they’re not fun! But your kids are not hardwired to deal with their emotions, it’s a skill they learn over time, and it’s your job as parent to support them and…

  24. Bucket Emptying: Pocket Money - 5 Benefits You May Not Have Considered

    · 17 min

    Should I give my children pocket money? How much is enough? Should they have to earn it through chores? Knowing how much, when, and what can feel like a tricky minefield when thinking about pocket money for our…

  25. Confidence is on the Decline

    · 40 min

    Did you know 1 in 3 children have little or no confidence? Did you know girls are more likely to downplay their confidence? And did you know that children from non-white and minority ethnic groups are likely to have…

  26. Bucket Emptying: Parenting Trends and How They Affect Our Own Parenting

    · 22 min

    From gentle parenting to FAFO, social media bombards us with content about the latest trends, so how do you really know what works and what doesn’t? In today’s bucket emptying episode, I talk you through some of the…

  27. Let's Talk - 5 Ways to Start a Conversation About Mental Health

    · 25 min

    Mental health is not just a buzz word, and oftentimes it goes hand in hand with physical health. But because we can’t see mental health, as parents it can be so easy to procrastinate these important conversations that…

  28. Bucket Emptying: Valuing Children - 5 Ways to Build a Sense of Belonging

    · 20 min

    A sense of belonging is a basic human need. Without it can lead to loneliness, depression and many other mental and physical health issues. So to celebrate Children’s Mental Health Week, the theme of which this year…

  29. Navigating Exam Stress

    · 40 min

    From the 8 Plus to A-Levels, exams can be a stressful experience… often as much for you, the parent, as the kids. You want the best for them, and of course you want them to do well, but it’s important to make sure we…

  30. A new perspective on emotional co-regulation

    · 18 min

    In this bucket emptying episode, I look a bit closer at my conversation with Professor Sam Wass, who you may recognise from such TV shows as The Secret Life of 4 Year Olds. He is is currently Director of the Institute…

  31. Neuroscience and Emotional Regulation in Children, with Professor Sam Wass

    · 1 h 04 min

    Does your child ever get worked up, and you find it escalates super fast but feel powerless to bring them down from that ledge? Every parent has been there, but it’s only in recent years that we have really begun to…

  32. Stop Making Life Easy! 5 Proven Ways to Build Your Child's Resilience

    · 19 min

    “I can’t do it!” - as parents we hear this all the time. Our children are learning new skills and experiencing new things every day, which means they are always facing things they’ve never done before. This can be…

  33. "Why Won't They Sleep?" The Hidden Factors Affecting Your Child's Sleep Part 2

    · 35 min

    Why won’t my kids go to sleep at their bed time? It doesn’t matter if your child is 2 or 20, every parent in the world will ask themselves this question, because sometimes, even if we stick to the routine, they just…

  34. Bucket Emptying: Creating New Habits by Stacking

    · 14 min

    New year is my favourite time of year. It’s a chance for us to turn a blank page and make conscious changes in our lives. Maybe you want to improve your health, or perhaps you have certain career goals, or maybe you…

  35. "Why Won't They Sleep?" The Hidden Factors Affecting Your Child's Sleep Part 1

    · 36 min

    It’s bedtime. You’ve done all the right things. You followed the routine. There are no disruptions. And yet… the kids just won’t go to sleep! We’ve all been there, which is why in this episode, the first of a two-part…

  36. Bucket Emptying: 10 Powerful Questions to Get Your Kids Talking

    · 24 min

    What did you do today? It’s the question every parents asks when we pick our kids up from school, nursery, or wherever they’ve been. The response is usually ‘I don’t know,’ ‘nothing,’ or a disinterested grunt or huff,…

  37. The Comparison Trap: Why We Compare, When to Say Yes, and the 48-Hour Rule

    · 40 min

    It’s said that comparison is the thief of joy, and there’s truth to this. Whether it’s your kids thinking their life is so unfair because their friends have phones, or go to parties and they’re not allowed, to you as…

  38. Bucket Emptying: 10 Things to Say to Your Children Every Day

    · 23 min

    I believe in you. I will always love you. I am always here for you. How often do you say any of these things to your children? The truth is, it’s probably less you’d like to admit, and you’re not alone. As parents,…

  39. The Power of Failed Goals: Why Broken Resolutions Build Confidence and Capability in Children

    · 28 min

    Have you and your family made New Year resolutions? And how many have you broken already? I love making resolutions. It’s the highlight of my year. But statistics show that most New Year resolutions are broken, so…

  40. The Best of 2025

    · 32 min

    As 2025 draws to a close, I thought the best way to round out another year of the podcast is to give you a compilation of our best bits and the best tips in one episode. Consider this your How Not to Screw Up Your…

  41. Merry Christmas: The Best of How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

    · 38 min

    Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas from me and the team at How Not to Screw Up Your Kids. However you are celebrating, and whatever you’re doing, I hope you’re having some well earned time off, and getting some…

  42. Bucket Emptying: Start Right, End Right - Daily Routines for Calmer, Happier Kids

    · 17 min

    Our children are sponges. They absorb our energy. So when we start our day with a bang, that rubs off, and our kids will be unbalanced from the get go. And that just sets us all up for a difficult day, doesn’t it?…

  43. The Reconnected: Transform Your Parenting in 20 Minutes a Week

    · 54 min

    Are you close to your children? Do you still feel connected as they get older? Do you spend as much time with them as you want? I’m going to guess that you answered no to at least one of these questions. Am I right?…

  44. The Secret to Child Cooperation: 7 Psychology Proven Strategies

    · 22 min

    How do you get your children to cooperate with you, when they just don’t want to? It’s a problem we all face - our kids will refuse to do something not because they don’t want to, but because we’re telling them to,…

  45. Boost Your Child's Confidence in 10 Days

    · 33 min

    Does your child struggle with their confidence? Do you wish you could help? Well you’re in luck, because confidence is a learned skill, and there are many easy things you can do to help build self-confidence in your…

  46. How to Avoid Resentment

    · 18 min

    Do your children resent you? Do you resent your children? How good are you at managing this? Resentment is a funny thing. It feels like it comes out of nowhere, but actually, it can be the result of many small…

  47. Supporting Our Children Through Separation and Divorce

    · 38 min

    On Christmas Day in 1986, 30 million Brits were glued to their screens as Eastenders’ Dirty Den handed divorce papers to Angie Watts, in one of the most watched television episodes of all time. As shocking as that was…

  48. The Christmas Survival Kit for Parents

    · 30 min

    From Elf on a Shelf and advent calendars to the business of seeing the whole family in such a short period… Christmas can be stressful, and it can be super overwhelming, especially for us parents. Santa doesn’t do…

  49. Helping Children with Setbacks

    · 29 min

    Whether it’s toppled block towers, disappointing test results, or missed goals on the sports field, setbacks are a daily occurrence for our children, and I want to show you how to transform them into powerful…

  50. Bucket Emptying: 6 Things Your Children Worry About... and What to Do About Them

    · 33 min

    As parents, we worry. It’s in our nature! Are they safe? Are they hungry? Are they happy? The list goes on… But SPOILER ALERT: our kids worry too! The world is a scary place, and the world around them is…

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