Podcasts · Kids & Family · Education

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Dr Maryhan

300 episodes

Hello, I'm psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves.

More about the show

Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday's you'll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday.

The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any qualification and is absolutely possible for each and every child; we just need the right information and support around us to teach them.

The old saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child” couldn’t be more true than now. Parenting has got a whole lot harder; not just because we are busier than ever but because our children are growing up in an ever changing, fast-paced world, which is so different to the one we grew up in. Our children have more pressure to be better, look better, do better, and in a world where lives are so publicly scrutinised and commented on through social media it’s really no wonder we’re seeing mental health problems sky rocketing amongst children, teens, and young adults. What you can expect from this podcast are honest conversations about parenting.

We’ll talk confidence resilience, anxiety, managing tech, and all the topics you’d expect as well blowing the lid off the widely help misconception that children are innately resilient. They’re not!

This podcast is for people who want to get real about parenting. You understand it can get messy sometimes and aren’t afraid to admit it. I have had more than my fair share of messy and I will no doubt share these with you along the way. I won’t dress things up but I will always give you something practical to take away and use in each and every episode. My guests and experts will be real people who have overcome their own adversities and bring with them a message to us as parents, as well as inspiring stories.

So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation...

We'd love to hear from you!

We want to hear what you love and what you don't love about the podcast, so we can keep making it better: https://podcastsurvey.typeform.com/to/SEyYrxGB

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Episodes page 1 of 6

  1. Bucket Emptying: When Your Toddler Hits, Bites, or Hurts Other Children

    · 24 min

    Has your toddler ever bitten another child, hit a sibling, or shoved someone at the playground? Have they ever lashed out in a way that left you feeling shocked, embarrassed, or judged? In this episode, I explain why…

  2. Sibling Rivalry; Why It Happens and How To Stop Refereeing

    · 28 min

    When siblings fight, it can feel endless - the bickering, the shouting, the “that’s not fair,” the constant demand that you step in and decide who’s right. In this episode, I explain why sibling rivalry is normal, why…

  3. Bucket Emptying: The Bedtime Battle - Three Things Which Actually Help

    · 28 min

    Do you dread bedtime? Are you children refusing to go to sleep? Don’t worry, we’ve all been there! When bedtime becomes a nightly battle, it drains every ounce of energy you have left. In today’s episode, I walk you…

  4. Building Good Habits in Children

    · 35 min

    Let me guess… you spend ages nagging about teeth brushing? You’re constantly running late? Homework is a war? And don’t even mention tidying rooms, am I right? When I sat down to record this episode, I wanted to…

  5. Bucket-Emptying: Fussy Eaters, Fizzy Drinks, and the One Thing Which Changes Everything

    · 16 min

    In this episode, I’m talking about food. Does your toddler refuse pasta because the shape is “wrong”? Or does your teenager come home from school every day with an energy drink and packet of crisps? Don’t worry, you…

  6. Motivation: Why Pushing Doesn't Work - and What Does

    · 35 min

    Has homework become a battle? Has your child stopped trying or caring? In this episode, I’m talking directly to the parents who feel like their child’s motivation has quietly slipped away, because I want to help you…

  7. Five Ways to Get Your Teenager to Actually Talk to You

    · 19 min

    Is your teenager ghosting you? Do they feel more distant and shut off? Are you scared that your relationship with them is fading away? Spoiler alert: we’ve all been there, and I promise you it’s nothing to panic…

  8. Separating Well: How to Co-Parent Without Your Child Caught in the Middle

    · 29 min

    When a family separates, everything shifts. As parents we want to protect our children, but it can feel overwhelming when we don’t always have the answers. In this episode, I walk you through what the facts tells…

  9. Bucket Emptying: Raising Children Who Love to Read

    · 22 min

    In this episode, I’m talking honestly about something so many parents worry about - a child who “won’t read”, says reading is boring, or hasn’t picked up a book in years. I explain why this isn’t a motivation problem…

  10. When Your Child Won't Go to School

    · 43 min

    A child melts down at the door, stomach pain, tears, refusal, and you’re standing there with a 9am meeting to get to, unsure whether to push harder or give in. Your child is at a developmental crossroads, but when…

  11. Bucket Emptying: How Much Your Child Really Needs (and What To Do If They're Not Getting It)

    · 30 min

    Is bedtime a battle? Does your child wake through the night? Or are you simply unsure whether your child is getting enough sleep? Most parents think of sleep as “rest”, but once you understand what sleep is actually…

  12. What Your Child's Friendships Are Really Telling You

    · 30 min

    Today, I’m diving deep into one of the most emotionally charged parts of parenting: your child’s friendships. I’ll show you how to read what their social world is really telling you, how to recognise what’s…

  13. Bucket Emptying: Why Toddlers Have Tantrums (And What Actually Helps)

    · 21 min

    Spoiler alert: a tantrum isn’t bad behaviour. It’s a developmental event that happens when your kid’s nervous system is really overwhelmed. When your children have tantrums, it is never a reflection of you or your…

  14. How to Raise a Confident Child

    · 37 min

    How do you know if your child is confident, or just masking? In today’s episode, I explain the two core skills that create genuine, lifelong confidence, and once you understand these foundations, helping your child…

  15. Bucket Emptying: 5 Questions to Ask Your Child Instead of 'How Was School?'

    · 19 min

    If you’ve ever asked your children “How was school?” and received “Fine”, “I don’t know”, or total silence, you’re not alone. Our children walk through the door with a full emotional bucket, tired from holding…

  16. Raising Children Who Love Learning

    · 25 min

    What’s the real key to raising a child who genuinely loves learning - not because of school pressure, grades, or how much homework they do, but because curiosity and resilience have been built from the inside out? As…

  17. Bucket Emptying - REFILL: First Day at School Jitters - Top Ten Tips

    · 30 min

    The first day at a new school can be a scary experience for many children, as well as us parents! But what do you do if your kid is super nervous? We often feel like the bad guy making them go in when they clearly…

  18. The One Conversation Every Parent Should Have With Their Child Before September

    · 20 min

    Whether your child is starting reception, moving into secondary school, returning to a familiar classroom, or stepping into a brand‑new environment like college or university, there is one important conversation you…

  19. 3 Conversation to Have with Your Child After Results (For Any Grade)

    · 13 min

    Results week doesn’t end on results day - in fact, the days and weeks following results day is where the real emotional work happens. In today’s bucket emptying episode, I give you three precise, ready‑to‑use…

  20. GCSE Results Day: What Your Child Needs From You in the Next 24 Hours

    · 21 min

    GCSE results day isn’t really about grades - it’s about emotions. Everyone is feeling a lot of things, from the moment you wake up, to opening that envelope, and then processing whatever is inside. In this episode, I…

  21. Bucket Emptying: 5 Ways to Support Your Teenager When Plans Change

    · 12 min

    If your teenager’s exam results were not what you expected, your plans might be making some sudden changes. That’s ok, and this episode is for you. Whether your child didn’t get the grades they hoped for, is suddenly…

  22. What to Say to Your Teenager on Results Day (Whatever the Grades)

    · 26 min

    Results Day is one of the most emotionally-charged moments in your teenager’s life, and what you say in the first hours after they open that envelope can shape their confidence, their resilience, and their future…

  23. Bucket Emptying: One Rule for Screens This Summer

    · 13 min

    A must‑listen for every parent navigating the screen‑time battle this summer! Today, I cut through the overwhelm with one simple, highly effective rule that stops arguments, protects your child’s sleep, stabilises…

  24. Screen Time, Sleep, and Your Child's Mood: What You Are Missing

    · 22 min

    Screens aren’t just distracting your child - they’re quietly disrupting the one thing their brain and body cannot function without: sleep. And when sleep quality drops, everything else follows: mood, behaviour,…

  25. Bucket Emptying: 5 Things to Say When Your Child Won't Try Something

    · 16 min

    Fear of failure is one of the most misunderstood challenges parents face, especially when you’re raising a bright, capable child who refuses to try anything unless success is guaranteed. Today, I break down exactly…

  26. When Your Child Won't Try Anything New: Fear of Failure and the Resilience Gap

    · 26 min

    If you’re watching your bright, capable child refuse to try anything unless success is guaranteed, this episode is going to feel like oxygen. I’m breaking down exactly what’s really driving fear of failure in children…

  27. Bucket Emptying: Five Ways to Support Your Sensitive Child Without Wrapping Them in Cotton Wool

    · 19 min

    In this episode, I’m tackling one of the most confusing challenges parents face: how to support a highly sensitive child without wrapping them in cotton wool or pushing them too hard. If your child feels everything…

  28. Highly Sensitive Children: Is It Anxiety, Neurodivergence or Just Who They Are?

    · 30 min

    In this episode, I’m diving into one of the most misunderstood traits I see in children every single week: high sensitivity. If your child feels everything deeply - the loud places, the scratchy clothes, the emotional…

  29. How to Survive the First Week of the Holidays

    · 16 min

    In this episode, I will walk you through the real first week of the school holidays - the meltdowns, the boredom, the clinginess, the explosions over nothing - and why this week is always the hardest for anxious…

  30. Why Anxious Children Struggle in the Holidays (and What Actually Helps)

    · 31 min

    Summer holidays are tough for parents, but it can be a hidden superpower! In this episode, I explain exactly why anxious children struggle the moment school ends, why the holidays bring out their anxiety, and the five…

  31. What to Say When Your Child Says "I Give Up"

    · 13 min

    In today’s bucket‑emptying episode, I’m giving you the exact words to use in one of the hardest parenting moments: when your child looks at you and says “I’m not good enough.” If you’ve ever watched your child crumble…

  32. Why I'm Only Just Being Diagnosed: Neurodivergence, Perimenopause and Parenting

    · 38 min

    If you’re a woman in your 40s or 50s who feels like everything has suddenly become harder - the brain fog, the overwhelm, the burnout, the emotional crashes, the sense that you’re “failing” at things you used to manage…

  33. Three Signs Your Daughter Needs an ADHD Test

    · 18 min

    If your daughter is “fine at school” but falling apart at home - the meltdowns, the morning battles, the homework explosions, the constant need for you to narrate every step - this episode may be the missing piece…

  34. ADHD in Girls: Why It's So Often Missed and What Parents Need to Know

    · 53 min

    If you’re parenting a girl who is anxious, overwhelmed, explosive at home, masking at school, or constantly burning out, this episode will give you answers you may have been searching for for years. I’m joined by Dr…

  35. My Child Won't Stop Comparing Themselves to Their Sibling

    · 16 min

    If your child is constantly shouting “It’s not fair!”, measuring every biscuit, bedtime or privilege against their sibling, and turning every moment into a competition, this episode will help you breathe again. None…

  36. Who's the Favourite? Birth Order, Sibling Rivalry and Why It Matters

    · 52 min

    If you’ve ever worried about sibling rivalry, felt guilty about how your attention is divided, or wondered whether your children secretly believe you have a favourite, this episode will change how you see your family…

  37. What to Say When Your Child Says 'I'm Not Good Enough'

    · 13 min

    When your child looks at you and says, “I’m not good enough,” it hits you in the chest. Every instinct you have wants to fix it, to tell them they’re brilliant, to list every wonderful thing about them, to make the…

  38. My Child is a Perfectionist: When High Standards Become Anxiety

    · 24 min

    If your child is melting down over tiny mistakes, refusing to start homework, or abandoning activities the moment they stop being “naturally good,” this episode is one you cannot afford to skip. I’m seeing…

  39. Three Practical Strategies to Help Your Distracted Child Focus

    · 17 min

    If your child can spend 45 minutes sharpening pencils, rearranging their desk, or “revising” without absorbing a single thing, you are not imagining it - something is getting in the way of their concentration, and it’s…

  40. Why Your Child Can't Concentrate: Focus, Distraction and ADHD with Professor Sam Wass

    · 43 min

    If you’ve ever wondered why your child can spend 40 minutes talking about Minecraft but can’t concentrate for four minutes on homework, this episode explains everything. I’m joined again by Professor Sam Wass, and if…

  41. 5 Questions to Ask Your Worried Child Tonight

    · 15 min

    If your child is anxious, you already know how hard evenings can be. You sit beside them wanting desperately to help, but every time you try to reassure them, it backfires. Logic doesn’t land. Distraction doesn’t…

  42. When Your Child Won't Stop Worrying

    · 26 min

    If your child is melting down over homework, asking endless “what if” questions, getting mysterious tummy aches, refusing school, withdrawing from activities, or exploding the moment they walk through the door, you…

  43. Bucket Empyting: One Thing to Say to Your Son Every Day to Build His Confidence

    · 14 min

    If you’re raising a boy, you already know this: you can believe in him with your whole heart, and still watch him struggle to believe in himself. You tell him he’s brilliant and he shrugs it off. You encourage him…

  44. How Not to Screw Up Your Kids - A Podcast for Parents from a Child Psychologist Who Gets You

    · 2:43 · Trailer

    If your child is melting down, shutting down, refusing school, avoiding sleep, snapping back, or clinging to you because something feels “wrong” but they can’t explain what, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr Maryhan,…

  45. Raising Confident Boys

    · 20 min

    If you’re raising a boy right now, you already know this: the world he’s growing up in is tougher, louder, and more confusing than ever, and the cracks in his confidence can appear long before you realise what’s…

  46. When Siblings Are Stuck Together

    · 13 min

    If your children have been at each other all week, this episode will change everything. I’m diving into one of the biggest sources of family stress - sibling conflict - and why it’s almost never about the toy, the…

  47. Why Parenting Feels Harder Than Ever

    · 28 min

    You don’t need more time with your child. You just need five intentional minutes. And in this episode, I’ll show you exactly why those tiny moments matter more than you think. If you’ve ever worried that you’re not…

  48. Back-Chat, Boundaries, and What Your Child is Really Trying to Tell You

    · 20 min

    Back‑chat isn’t your child being “difficult” - it’s a message. And in this episode, I’m going to show you how to finally hear it. If you’re dealing with eye‑rolls, snappy comebacks, or that sudden surge of attitude…

  49. The Meals That Carry Us Through Hard Seasons with Helen Hopkins

    · 41 min

    In this episode, you’ll discover a completely different way to think about feeding your family - one that saves you time, money, stress, and emotional bandwidth, and joining me is Helen Hopkins, better known as The…

  50. Good Parents Doubt Themselves Too

    · 14 min

    We all have an inner critic. Even us parents. In today’s episode, I explore one of the most overlooked but powerful ways to lighten your emotional load and quieten your inner critic. Modern parenting gives that…

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