Podcasts · How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

My Child is a Perfectionist: When High Standards Become Anxiety

· 24 min

Episode My Child is a Perfectionist: When High Standards Become Anxiety

0:00 23:51

If your child is melting down over tiny mistakes, refusing to start homework, or abandoning activities the moment they stop being “naturally good,” this episode is one you cannot afford to skip.

I’m seeing perfectionism show up in more children than ever, and most parents don’t realise it’s not about high standards at all. It’s anxiety. And it’s quietly eroding your child’s confidence, resilience, and joy.

In this episode, I break down what perfectionism really is, why it develops, and the hidden signs most families miss - from the blank‑page freeze to the endless erasing, the shutdowns, the self‑criticism, and the sudden quitting of things they once loved.

I’ll show you the neuroscience behind why your child reacts this way, the early experiences that wire these beliefs in, and the five practical tools you can start using today to help them feel enough, even when things aren’t perfect.

If you’re tired of walking on eggshells, exhausted by homework battles, or worried that your child’s fear of getting it wrong is holding them back, this episode will give you clarity, language, and a plan. Perfectionism isn’t fixed, and with the right support, your child can learn to try, to tolerate mistakes, and to thrive again.

Highlights from this episode:

01:11 - Performance = Worth

06:05 - The signs of perfectionism

10:05 - The root cause of anxiety

14:40 - Five things that work

18:18 - Mind the gap

💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together

💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/

💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library

💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025

💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The episode on the publisher’s site (opens in a new tab)

Shows are listed from Apple Podcasts' charts and directory, and Podcast Index where it is used. Every show and episode belongs to its publisher and plays from the publisher's own feed; this site hosts none of them. Explicit shows are for adult profiles only, and children’s profiles hear only children’s shows. More about this list.