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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Confetti Cannon

294 episodes · Explicit

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya features a pair of grizzled gay ghouls sitting on chairs, holding microphones, and discussing their fabulous lives in Tinseltown. (featuring occasional forays into movies, television shows, and air-conditioning) The New York Times called them models, moguls, actors, influencers, drag queens, RuPaul's Drag Race contestants, and even humanoids. If one thing can be said about these two preternaturally gorgeous queens' podcast, it's that Trixie and Katya find the sheer, unadulterated beauty of pure insanity. Tune in every week to experience the auditory pleasure that is The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya.

More about the show

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Episodes page 3 of 6

  1. Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie

    · 42 min · Episode 192 · Explicit

    If one were to print out all of Bruce Vilanch's writing, acting, and producing credits on a dot-matrix printer and lay that continuous piece of paper on the ground, it would encircle the world approximately one hundred…

  2. Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie

    · 55 min · Episode 191 · Explicit

    As we struggle to recover from the annual ritual of shoving Aunt Grace's bone-dry turkey and lumpy mashed potatoes down our gullets while listening to Uncle Billy yell at the TV about the Chicago Bears' wide-open…

  3. Gretchen Felker-Martin's Cornucopia of Horror with Katya

    · 29 min · Episode 190 · Explicit

    Author, Film & TV Critic, and all-around Horror Sommelier Gretchen Felker-Martin joins Katya from the wilds of Worcester for an in-depth review of the best horror films of 2024, the must-read horror novels out now, and…

  4. Megan Stalter & the Hotness of Kindness with Trixie and Katya

    · 56 min · Episode 189 · Explicit

    Good morning, and welcome to the annual meeting of the National Association for Supporting The Yuck, (N.A.S.T.Y.), where certified uggos from all over Southern California come to the Burbank Holiday Inn Express to…

  5. Timothée Chalamet: An Alien Who Lives Amongst Us? with Trixie and Katya

    · 51 min · Episode 188 · Explicit

    Have you ever stared up at the stars, considered the shocking vastness of space, and asked yourself, "Are we alone in the universe?" A recent analysis from the Bald Center for Ludicrosity Studies may have your answer.…

  6. Nicole Kidman Presents: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

    · 49 min · Episode 187 · Explicit

    We come to this podcast…for magic. We come to Bald to chortle, to weep, to soil ourselves, to hear about Demi Moore's commanding yet disgusting performance in The Substance. Because we need that, all of us, that…

  7. The Bitch is Back and She's Got Cake with Trixie and Katya

    · 49 min · Episode 186 · Explicit

    After nine guests and eleven episodes' worth of meandering stories about historical colon blockages, mermaid genitalia, and cosmic boreworms, prepare your grey matter for even more meandering stories about dental care…

  8. Joel Kim Booster's Atlantis Cruise Matinée Nightmare (Part 2) with Katya

    · 42 min · Episode 185 · Explicit

    It's the 4th day of your all-gay Atlantis Cruise. You just left the Bahamas and the bed of a sexy Nassau scuba instructor. You're tired. You're hungover. Your stomach is full of rum, waffles, and passionfruit-flavored…

  9. Joel Kim Booster Loathes Katya's Movie Recommendations (Part 1) with Katya

    · 47 min · Episode 184 · Explicit

    Since the debut of The Bald and the Beautiful in October of 2020, Katya Zamolodchikova has tickled your ears with full-throated recommendations of tens of hundreds of films; many of which are great, most of which are…

  10. Jimbo Interprets Katya's Dreams with Katya

    · 58 min · Episode 183 · Explicit

    What does it mean if several drug-addled hopheads break down the door of your beautiful three-story New York City townhouse, lick your face whilst whispering sweet nothings in your ear, steal your valuables, and they…

  11. Sapphira Cristál's Chicken Carbonara For Two (Part 2) with Katya

    · 1 h 00 min · Episode 182 · Explicit

    Step 1: Locate an impossibly gorgeous man in South Boston who's family owns an Italian restaurant. Follow him home and heat extra virgin olive oil in a heavy frying pan over medium heat. Add pancetta and garlic and…

  12. Sapphira Cristál's Mermaid Erotica (Part 1) with Katya

    · 55 min · Episode 181 · Explicit

    MEN SEEKING MERMAID/MERMAN (Pacific Ocean Adjacent): Here for a naughty-cal time with sexy sirens of the sea. We are two fit & fabulous drag queens, one folically-challenged (Katya) and one with a glorious mane…

  13. Raja Gemini: The Elusive Chanteuse with Katya

    · 54 min · Episode 180 · Explicit

    This week, the Loch Ness Monster of drag herself, Raja, visits the studio to discuss love, yoga, and wistful nostalgia for physical media porn. Many questions are posed and even fewer are answered. Does Raja exist? Do…

  14. Jinkx Monsoon & Silencing One's Mind with Bebe Neuwirth with Katya

    · 1 h 00 min · Episode 179 · Explicit

    It's 1am as you stare at the crack in the ceiling. The wind rustles through the oak tree outside as you hear Jim next door drag his garbage can down the driveway. Pam's staying at her sister's because of her divorce,…

  15. Courtney Act's Fall Rhinestone Jackaroo Fashion Tips with Katya

    · 1 h 07 min · Episode 178 · Explicit

    This Fall, buck the hackneyed trends that ooze like a puss-filled pimple from the runways of Milan and Paris. Instead, embrace the effortless style that comes from the classic down-under fashion of the extraordinarily…

  16. Scarlet Envy's Mapquest to Fire Island with Katya

    · 53 min · Episode 177 · Explicit

    It's almost Labor Day Weekend and I know what you're thinking to yourself: I need a sun-soaked, sand-covered gay resort town and I need it RIGHT NOW. Well, you're in luck. Scarlet Envy would like you to know that if…

  17. Ts Madison and the Art of Bore Worm Seduction with Katya

    · 1 h 01 min · Episode 176 · Explicit

    If you happen to find yourself in the unenviable position where your planet is being attacked by hot hail from a mustache-twirling space despot named Ming the Merciless, Ts Madison thinks it's best to grab a sexy…

  18. Kristen Schaal Is Lost in an Abandoned Warehouse With Katya

    · 1 h 01 min · Episode 175 · Explicit

    Please join us in our deserted power station under the 110 overpass as we welcome legendary actress, comedian, author, and animation megastar: the inimitable Kristen Schaal! Ignore the lack of bathrooms and that low…

  19. Boofing a Sangria in Anaheim with Trixie and Katya

    · 49 min · Episode 174 · Explicit

    It's August! As the oppressive humidity sets in and the mosquito bites multiply exponentially, why not shove little Billy and Jessica in the backseat of the 'ol family station wagon and head to Orange County to…

  20. How to Successfully Converse with Gen Alpha with Trixie and Katya

    · 48 min · Episode 173 · Explicit

    Do you goon on BookTok? Are you rizzing after peeping a gyatt at Taco Junk while reading Colleen Hoover? Do you spend your Saturdays being chalant while flicker gooning and running duos with the GOAT? If you didn't…

  21. Bob the Drag Queen's Comprehensive Guide to Chicken Wing Etiquette with Katya

    · 1 h 01 min · Episode 172 · Explicit

    As we approach the peak summertime Bob-B-Que months (zing), we'd like to share Bob the Drag Queen's 8 tips for a successful chicken wing soiree, which will ensure that your fowl party is anything but foul: 1) Send…

  22. Sasha Colby Eats a Steak Diane Nude on the Amalfi Coast with Katya

    · 47 min · Episode 171 · Explicit

    Feeling down? Need an escape from the grind? Just committed a crime and need to lay low? Captain Sasha Colby and the crew on The Bald & the Beautiful's new cruise ship, "Gettin' Nauti", will whisk you away to melt into…

  23. A Sonic Boom Personified with Drew Afualo and Trixie

    · 57 min · Episode 170 · Explicit

    In the grand pantheon of lusciously loud cackles, there exists two gorgeous human specimens for whom the rules of physics do not even remotely apply. These two auditory angels, known colloquially as Drew Afualo and…

  24. The Best of Us for the Rest of Us with Trixie and Katya

    · 41 min · Episode 169 · Explicit

    As we gather together this week to celebrate America's 248th birthday on rooftops, in backyards, and on sandy beaches, let us indulge ourselves with highly processed, nitrate-filled beef rods, sun-baked…

  25. Queen of the Amazons with Naomi Smalls and Katya

    · 1 h 05 min · Episode 168 · Explicit

    This week on KBLD's Schlock & Beautiful Masterpiece Theater, we bring you the preeminent 1973 sexploitation film, Queen of the Amazons starring the one, the only, Naomi Smalls! In the far-away island Hermythia off the…

  26. A Sizzling Summer Reading List with Sarah Schauer and Katya

    · 52 min · Episode 167 · Explicit

    As the days get longer and the jean shorts shorter, images come to mind of lazy, breezy days on the beach with merlot in a can and a juicy paperback that you simply can't put down. Within this very special episode of…

  27. How to Increase Your Length and Girth in Minutes! with Katya and Fena Barbitall

    · 55 min · Episode 166 · Explicit

    According to a 2023 Rand Corporation study, 88% of romantic partners have searched for adult videos online or fantasized at night about hot, hunky men with bigger, thicker, more luxurious penises. Has your partner lied…

  28. Truckstop Trysts and Bushwacked Behinds with Trixie and Katya

    · 45 min · Episode 165 · Explicit

    It was a steamy mid-August night outside of Bismarck, North Dakota. My cherry-red 1987 Yugo got a flat on Route 94 and I had to hoof it through the darkness to a truckstop. It was the kind of place that was stuck in…

  29. We are the CEOs of Fierceness with Trixie and Katya

    · 51 min · Episode 164 · Explicit

    Are you the patient zero who caused the epidemic of fierceness? Is your self-confidence and mettle, like chlamydia, insanely contagious and as deadly as your icy-blue determination? When people are in dire need of…

  30. The Modern Farmhouse Aesthetic with Trixie and Katya

    · 49 min · Episode 163 · Explicit

    Harnessing the quaint, country elements of middle America but with a contemporary spin, "Modern Farmhouse Decor" blends clean lines, muted color palettes, and textured materials to give birth to a timeless look…

  31. Tammie Brown & Ding-a-Lings in Shampoo Bottles with Trixie and Katya

    · 55 min · Episode 162 · Explicit

    As part of our annual Pre-Pride Kink Safety Awareness Month, we'd like to offer you this episode featuring the iconic multi-hyphenate and eminent enfant terrible, Tammie Brown! The hour of magical audio and video you…

  32. Kelly Mantle & Two Space Heaters to the Face with Trixie

    · 56 min · Episode 161 · Explicit

    Like a phoenix rising from the ashes of Sandy's ghost that was left in a frigid backstage green room on the Trixie and Katya Live tour, the exquisitely gorgeous, explosively hilarious, and effortlessly charming icon of…

  33. Monét X Change & the Subtle Levels of Crazy with Trixie

    · 1 h 01 min · Episode 160 · Explicit

    Prepare yourselves to be regaled by tales of the magical, the mysterious, and most of all the memorable, as we welcome to the pod the Queen of Commerce, the Princess of Payments, the Baroness of Bankrolls, the Countess…

  34. Welcome to the Golden Fountain of Vitality with Trixie and Katya

    · 43 min · Episode 159 · Explicit

    From ancient Indian yogic texts to brittle Chinese scrolls to the age of Egyptian Pharaohs when gods walked amongst us, Urine Therapy has been the secret, golden-hued cure for ailments both minor and severe. The…

  35. Nellie the Potato-Faced Humpty B*tch with Trixie and Katya

    · 45 min · Episode 158 · Explicit

    This week on Little Bald on the Prairie, tune in for a very special episode that the whole family will enjoy. When lying-ass Nellie falls from Laura Ingalls' beloved horse Bunny, that little potato-faced humpty b*tch…

  36. No Loads Refused: Live in Richmond, VA with Trixie and Katya

    · 1 h 27 min · Episode 157 · Explicit

    Recorded live in the famed "Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death" capital city of Virginia, please join us for a cordial evening of spirited conversation about art, politics, and culture. After the dessert course, we shall…

  37. Plane Jane and Lieutenant Brigadier General Cuhntalina Badussy with Katya

    · 45 min · Episode 156 · Explicit

    Behold, everyone's favorite Drag Race Season 16 faux-villain: Plane Jane! With her shared Boston roots and actual Russian ancestry, she is essentially the little sister of Katya everyone loves to faux-hate. From hot…

  38. Heels and Meals with Trixie and Katya

    · 44 min · Episode 155 · Explicit

    In a world where fashion knows no boundaries, comes a story of self-discovery, unexpected transformations, and erotic culinary adventures. When Jack Huntley is about to lose his old-school diner to a landlord who wants…

  39. Paul Blart: Mall Carp with Trixie and Katya

    · 50 min · Episode 154 · Explicit

    When a Paramus, New Jersey Van Heusen factory outlet is taken over by a vicious gang of black-market avocado dealers from British Columbia, it's up to a mild-mannered security guard to stand up to the criminals and…

  40. A Massage That Lives Happily Ever After with Trixie and Katya

    · 42 min · Episode 153 · Explicit

    Welcome to Trixie & Katya's Le Poupée Spa, located in a gorgeously-restored halfway house in the beating heart of urine-soaked Hollywood. Forget your hideous spouse, your under-achieving children, and that rash on your…

  41. You Are More Than Your Phone with Trixie and Katya

    · 44 min · Episode 152 · Explicit

    We are proud to partner this week with the Anti Phone-Shaming League of North America to bring you a very important message: you, dear listeners, are so much more than your phone. Do you have an iPhone X? An iPhone SE?…

  42. It's a TWISTER! with Trixie and Katya

    · 48 min · Episode 151 · Explicit

    We here at BALD, LLC, including our main counsel Henry Z. Winkleschmiggens IV, Esq., would like to take this opportunity to clear the air regarding the rampant online rumors surrounding Trixie Mattel and Helen Hunt's…

  43. Does Our Art Threaten You? with Trixie and Katya

    · 46 min · Episode 150 · Explicit

    Does our art threaten you? Does it make you completely reconsider your physical existence? Does it make you stop and question the status quo and stop sleepwalking through life like a sheep? Does it make you feel weird…

  44. The Official "The Dolls are the Dolls Fan Club!" with Trixie and Katya

    · 51 min · Episode 149 · Explicit

    Do you love Trixie and Katya with all your heart? Would you like to find a club of other humans who share your affinity for these two remarkable queens? Well now you can! Sign up for the official "The Dolls are the…

  45. Coitus With a Waffle with Trixie and Katya

    · 50 min · Episode 148 · Explicit

    As the morning sunshine warms my bare bottom and my feet feel the cool chill of the kitchen tile, I reach into the freezer. A blast of cold air greets me, turning my nipples so hard I could dial an iPhone. As a shiver…

  46. Higher Than Giraffe Genitalia with Dulcé Sloan and Trixie

    · 54 min · Episode 147 · Explicit

    Please prepare your mind, body, and soul for Trixie's delightful chat with stand-up comedian, actress, makeup mogul, and Daily Show correspondent; the eminently-hilarious Dulcé Sloan! From plane-travel safety tips to…

  47. Christmas Dinner at Judi Dench's House with Bianca Del Rio and Katya

    · 49 min · Episode 146 · Explicit

    'Twas the night before Christmas, and the house was filled with holly berry stench. Bianca Del Rio was headed to Surrey, to have dinner with Dame Judi Dench. The car service was booked, excitement hung in the air, but…

  48. Circling Back for a Touch-Base to Close the Loop on the Deliverables with Trixie and Katya

    · 46 min · Episode 145 · Explicit

    Hi, Deborah. Thanks so much for taking the time to have a one-on-one with me this morning. I know that 8am Zooms can be logistically difficult, but Sheila from accounting pinged me yesterday, and per our post-mortem…

  49. This Episode Produced & Directed by Simone Biles with Bob the Drag Queen and Katya

    · 46 min · Episode 144 · Explicit

    As the world prepares for the beauty, grace, and raw athleticism of the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris, we are so proud to have had the honor of working with talented Los Angeles director, cinematographer, and exotic…

  50. The Sorta New Year's Episode? with Trixie and Katya

    · 47 min · Episode 143 · Explicit

    Is this an extra-special quasi-Holiday/New-Year's episode where Trixie and Katya talk about decorating a tree? Perhaps. Is this an episode where they confront a deep, yearning desire for a miniature ceramic holiday…

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