Welcome to our together journey through interpersonal communication!
Let's touch on a few things that will help you navigate this book and the class it underpins.
First, many of the initial chapters are often found much later in other books. I do this because, frankly, why save the best for last? Seriously. There are ideas is this book that will improve your life, and let's get to some of those right off the top.
But then... why the rest?
I'm probably the wrong person to ask. I find this all interesting. But when we look at the "how," the practical, actionable behaviors we can change, we also must know the "why." Why do these changes matter? And that takes us back to the theories that ground all this.
Interpersonal communication can and often is explained in a number of ways, including game theory, systems theory, and tons of other that touch on a bit or piece of this amazing process we call communication. Some of these theories mesh nicely--don't you love it when that happens--others, sigh, do not. There are various reasons, sometimes a theory was made back in the stone-age when there was more conjecture than data. Others come from a desire to focus on different ways of approaching communication. For example, there are cultural ways that look at social groups and demographics, then there are historical approaches, and there also are insights to be gained through treating relationships with a political framework, specifically power relationships.
What I suspect you'll find is that some of these ideas resonate deeply and others will be interesting and useful, but to your go-to "way in" to this material. That's all right. The goal here is to provide you with tools (where have we heard that before?) and solid explanations of why these approaches are vetted, verified, and worthy of taking up space in your over-packed cranium.
As to my approach. I tend to use competency-based instruction, meaning you can demonstrate understanding and move on, and I realize people learn in different ways. Some like to watch videos, others read and retain better, still others want an audio-book format. No worries, you'll find some of all that here. I also like include student-centered projects where you get to dream up something that interests them and then focus on that. 
My background in communications covers a wide swath of the field. I started as a newspaper reporter--if you don't know that this is, ask a grandparent--and I had to entertain and get right to the point. I then did public relations for a museum, and had to learn how to think about demographics and crafting different messages to different groups. Eventually, I was able to move into higher education as a director of forensics--which has nothing to do with dead bodies--preparing students to stand and deliver in competition. Since then, I've enjoyed many years of instruction at Shasta Community College. In addition to teaching interpersonal and intercultural communication, I taught public speaking, literature in performance, debate, and media classes. I was part of a team of educators who went overseas and assisted students in creating a video that interviewed world leaders. So, I love to make teaching materials, and I've even been known to do a bit of stand-up. My goal is to be substantial but to have fun.
Finally, this book is the compilation of the work and words of many others that have gone before and written portions of this book. Some of this material has been updated, condensed, and "punched up" by me, other parts remain largely in the words of others--until get a chance to rework them. So, you may notice differences in style and formality. But everything here is college-level and backed by current research. Each chapter has notations at the end crediting the various contributors, and I am grateful to them all for their work and their generosity in letting it be used in a free-for-students format.
This book is being continually revised, and I'm eager to get feedback from my students and colleagues as to what works and what needs to be updated or removed. You can reach me by contacting the book's web page, www.interpersonaltoolkit.com.
Robb Lightfoot
Shasta College,
Spring 2026