Podcasts · Sports

Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger

300 episodes

Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn't think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Episodes page 1 of 6

  1. Technically dreamland, Man Utd in the mirror & Simon Jordan vs PETA

    · 52 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the spiritually correct team to have tried the most shots from the halfway line in Premier League history, a big…

  2. Muddled momentum maxims, Fletch on the beach (again) & footballers of Aesop's Fables

    · 48 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: an assortment of Champions League television highlights, a delightful nickname for a Scottish League Two…

  3. Spongebob Ozil, high foreheads & a 50-yarder that ticked all the boxes

    · 57 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the explosion in AI-generate fantasy versions of Mesut Ozil goals, work-permit concerns in Berkshire under-15s…

  4. Jon Champion vs Marvel, Carrick's goal-down demeanour & the Frankness of Fulham

    · 45 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Dave's evening of Watford misery, an unexpected cultural influence of Martin O’Neill’s late-90s Leicester…

  5. An unusual Super Sunday anticlimax, Frodo Hargreaves & Harry Kane on bread

    · 57 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the holding pattern of awkwardness after Liverpool 0 Man City 3, Lee Dixon gives US viewers a refresher course…

  6. The "Somehow Never Played For Abu Dhabi-Era Manchester City" XI

    · 1 h 20 min

    An immaculate Etihad goalkeeping hierarchy, nearly picking Maicon by accident, an underwhelming Pep Guardiola raid of Bayern Munich, a capable midfield wardrobe, the one turn-of-the-2010s Englishman they didn’t sign,…

  7. Throwing glass at Man City's window, tinpot national badges & a 10/10 commentator's curse

    · 1 h 03 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: one of the best phone-in callers of the Man City saga so far, Richard Keys vs Liam Gallagher, England’s…

  8. Unimaginative abuse, tactical whistling & circular red cards, with ex-referee Graham Scott

    · 1 h 18 min

    Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by former Premier League referee Graham Scott, who answers some increasingly obscure questions from the pod and the listeners about life as a top-flight match…

  9. The non-emergency pod: Tainted vs stained, Polish adverbs & Andy Townsend's pub toilet

    · 1 h 00 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the finer details of the fallout from the Premier League's verdict on Manchester City's charges, accidentally…

  10. Co-commentator voice ID & performatively not interfering with play: The listeners' loves & hates

    · 55 min

    Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the…

  11. 35.3% of Earth's land mass, Mourinho's printer & Martin Tyler's five-decade challenge

    · 53 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: More Drurian delivery from Australian football commentary, a geographically earth-shattering MLS fixture from 2015,…

  12. The Football Cliches Quiz XXVI: Cliches vs The Listeners

    · 1 h 28 min

    The 26th edition of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Dave take on trivia-savvy listeners Pat Noone, Sam Huxley and Jonny Sharples. The questions include: Premier League Chrisses, managers of Premier…

  13. Offside contamination, yards of confidence & Drury's Down Under doppelganger

    · 59 min

    LONDON LIVE QUIZ - TICKETS ON GENERAL SALE WEDNESDAY 16TH - quiz.footballcliches.com Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the fallout from the…

  14. Late doors, John McGinn's trademark finish & accidental commentary football chants

    · 47 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Dean Saunders continues his intermittent campaign against modern football terminology, tinpot scenes in the Yashin…

  15. Cliches Live in the sunshine, the Mike Dean content machine & ASMR in the EFL

    · 44 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: reflections on a superb afternoon at the Cliches live show, Tom Cruise deploys the football plural, Gary Cotterill…

  16. The washed Sky Sports News, Horlicks FC & the Transfers That Feel So Right XI

    · 54 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the agonising death of Sky Sports News on deadline day, whether a player can have a “knack” for scoring penalties,…

  17. Vomiting footballers & 30 years of the electronic sub board: The listeners' loves & hates

    · 40 min

    Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections…

  18. Sarcastic passes, tiny football studio furniture & the most un-booable position in an XI

    · 51 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a baffling passing adjective in the EFL Trophy, how a striker would "unlock" their goalscoring account for the season,…

  19. Wake-up reality checks, cracked MOTD logos & the ultimate Puskas Award goal

    · 59 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Wedding guests with goal-machine names, the rude awakenings/wake-up calls/reality checks of the Premier League opening…

  20. Counter-attack calculations, club nickname knowledge and Keys & Gray in 120 seconds

    · 59 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: how referee match audio will pump up the football news machine in 2026/27, Chelsea's youth teams being renamed in…

  21. Community Shield coasting, breaking down a "bomba" & how to launch a football podcast

    · 55 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some textbook Community Shield takeaways, whether Arsenal are the most “Millennium Stadium” Premier League club,…

  22. Rhyming clangers, David Seaman chuckles again & Keysey on a Lime bike

    · 1 h 03 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Goalkeeping mistakes that rhyme with the player who pounces on them, a classic goal-commentating phrase gets some…

  23. Carabao curtain-raising, regrettable stepping stones & FSV Bachmünden

    · 51 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether Charlie's third child in six years counts as a "quickfire hat-trick", weekend Carabao Cup ties as the…

  24. Fearing for Fulham, goal celebrations in the shower & the Repatriation of Richard Keys

    · 1 h 12 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: The now-annual breakdown of the Premier League alphabetical distribution and how it makes us feel, who we should "fear…

  25. Money-grabbing gargoyles, John Stones' meta-knackered shoulder & Farmer Alan Shearer

    · 54 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: European superclubs coming over here and stealing our groundsmen, Henry Winter on Falklands defence budgets, Gianni…

  26. Free Dreamland episode: The joy of watching football on holiday

    · 1 h 10 min · Bonus

    A concept impossible to over-romanticise, pinpointing the exact Premier League matchweek to represent its sweet spot, the gentle echoing of Martin Tyler across the potholes of a generic bar strip, charmingly…

  27. Secondary goal celebrations & the "we talk about" epidemic: The listeners' loves & hates

    · 55 min

    Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the…

  28. Tom Cruise's FIFA-speak, Messi's grassing & the Pure World Cup 2026 XI

    · 1 h 18 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker, Nick Miller and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: a cultural review of the gruelling watch that was the World Cup final, the merits of…

  29. (Over)familiar failings, the freshest possible World Cup final & Luis Figo vs T. rex

    · 54 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of England 1 Argentina 2, finding anything remotely unfamiliar about England's latest…

  30. A little bit all at sea, gyroscope magnitudes & Joe Cole on the pyramids

    · 48 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of the montage-resistant grind of England 2 Norway 1, Thomas Tuchel vs Gabriel Clarke, the…

  31. The Aguirre noise, lungbusting thresholds & the Penalty Miss XI

    · 50 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the enjoyable chaos of Argentina vs Egypt, the exact noise Javier Aguirre made to Anthony Gordon, co-commentators…

  32. 1,114 Dan Burns, retro World Cup controversy & the most unsatisfying noise of the tournament

    · 1 h 07 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: an in-depth cultural review of Mexico 2 England 3, the immaculate Golden Boot race, Donald Trump ushering in a…

  33. The Boxpark backlash, unfinished Azteca business & the unluckiest World Cup score-avoider

    · 57 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and James Maw. On the agenda: the big World Cup flag question, England 2 DR Congo 1 and the Kaniest finish in the history of Harry Kane, the Big Boxpark…

  34. A correct year for every last-32 game, Trumpian co-comms & breakfast with Sean Dyche

    · 54 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker, James Maw and, eventually, Nick Miller. On the agenda: pathetic TV-channel paranoia clickbait from our beleaguered regional press, goalscorers "on the…

  35. Fox-mode Fletch, Scottish limbo & Andy Burnham's one-on-one finishing

    · 50 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the wider ripples of England 0 Ghana 0, Scotland’s slightly excessive World Cup purgatory, Darren Fletcher lets his…

  36. The Vamos epidemic, Lineker on ITV & accidental 90s trance in VAR announcements

    · 59 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Screen Rot's Jake Farrell. On the agenda: the England player least likely to shout "Vamos!" during a game, an emphatic VAR call from a referee…

  37. England's beloved scoreline, Messi's scout badges & the hydration-break hand gesture

    · 48 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Adam's slapstick attempt to watch England 4-2 Croatia at the pub, the mid-1990s England player recognition skills…

  38. The BBC/ITV truce, World Cup life-bursting & Tina Turner's spot-kick record

    · 47 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and James Maw. On the agenda: how the BBC & ITV's tournament has gone so far, Simon Jordan treats a basic World Cup question with the…

  39. Giant lanyards & England camp mood updates: The listeners' World Cup loves & hates

    · 1 h 00 min

    Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller entertain the listener entries for a special edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche World Cup fascinations and irritations. Among…

  40. England's Florida scoreboard XI, niche FIFA metrics & watching the World Cup in 4D

    · 51 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Nick Miller and James Maw. On the agenda: the BBC's co-commentators show some pre-tournament rustiness, FIFA's new plan for pre-kick-off team lineups, the greatest PDF…

  41. The Football Cliches Quiz XXV: Cliches vs The England Pod

    · 1 h 43 min

    The 25th edition of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Nick take on The England Pod in a World Cup trivia special. The questions include: Wikipedia-verified World Cup "Battles Of", the stars of the Three…

  42. Stutter steps in Budapest, Switzerland on Saturdays & Keysey's final sign-off

    · 45 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: A cultural review of the Champions League final (feat. commentary intonations and David Schwimmer's divorce), Paul…

  43. The VAR-monitor jog & fans coming in peace: The listeners' loves & hates

    · 52 min

    Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the…

  44. Spurs circling the drain, European hangover defiance & farmers taking penalties

    · 51 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether West Ham sleepwalked to relegation and if Spurs are now officially "circling the drain", Villa defying…

  45. Unleash the Arsenal long-reads, Spygate super-schadenfreude & a Bundesliga hoax

    · 46 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: cutting through the considerable noise of Arsenal's long-awaited Premier League title and the 12-day…

  46. Labour's laboured footballspeak, thumpable scorelines & penalty pop-ups

    · 57 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: an FA Cup final that will live short in the memory, a confident prediction of West Ham's short-term future, some…

  47. The Football Cliches Quiz XXIV: Cliches vs The Sweeper - The Rematch

    · 1 h 48 min

    The 24th edition of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Dave take on globe-trotting world football storytellers The Sweeper for the second time. The questions include: Argentine footballspeak, obscure…

  48. Corner-kick chaos, a Premier League without a W & Joe Cole at the Ritz

    · 52 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the slightly overlooked aspects of the West Ham corner chaos, predicting the title of the Arsenal…

  49. The 9.75 role, Tom Hiddleston's Champions League mindset & the Faroese Andy Gray

    · 47 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of the Champions League semi-finals (featuring Daniel Sturridge inventing the "nine and…

  50. The fixture pile-up threshold, Sean Dyche playing "Sean Dyche" & under-10s trophy parades

    · 50 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the trickiest title-race-classification task so far, legendary Premier League goalkeepers in petty…

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