Podcasts · Comedy · Society & Culture

The Wittering Whitehalls

Global

300 episodes · Explicit

Have you got a problem? Are you at the end of your tether? Perhaps you’d like to enlist the help of Michael & Hilary Whitehall? This podcast is your invitation to take a comfy seat in the Whitehall family home and garner their thoughts on everything from workouts to weddings, seaside towns to social media and everything in between.

More about the show

Expect rants, raves, harsh truths and expletives as Hilary & Michael consider your points of view and possibly even help you solve an issue!

The Whitehalls are offering you complete access to their combined life experiences and the precious wisdom that they’ve gathered over the years, so why not take them up on it?!

You can email your questions, thoughts or problems to TheWitteringWhitehalls@gmail.com

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For advertising opportunities on this podcast, email: GlobalStudiosSales@global.com

Episodes page 3 of 6

  1. Dire Straits, Vans & A Platypus

    · 43 min · S9 E14 · Explicit

    So, what happened to Churchill's platypus, gifted to him during the war, by the people of Australia? The mystery is solved! Plus, Mrs Whitehall behind the wheel of a van and Mr Whitehall making a luncheon faux pas.…

  2. LIFE LESSONS: "How to get guests to leave when the night's over!"

    · 19 min · Bonus · Explicit

    It's awkward, isn't it? You've yawned, you've cleared the plates, but the guests still aren't leaving. How would Mr & Mrs Whitehall deal with someone who just wasn't getting the message? JOIN THE WITTERING WHITEHALLS…

  3. The Spitfire, Shaving & Changing Your Mind

    · 42 min · S9 E13 · Explicit

    250 episodes and still going strong! So, how to celebrate? Sequins of course... And a sartorial nod to Winston Churchill. Naturally. There's not a DL in existence who isn't familiar with Michael Whitehall's keen…

  4. LIFE LESSONS: "Try new things. Face your fears!"

    · 24 min · Bonus · Explicit

    This weeks life lesson is for DL Helen who is off on a cruise... But she's suddenly become nervous about the idea! Don't worry, Helen. You'll be fine! JOIN THE WITTERING WHITEHALLS FOR THEIR BARELY (A)LIVE TOUR:…

  5. Old Gits Road Trip, Neighbourly Apologies & Councillor Ollie

    · 40 min · S9 E12 · Explicit

    The Whitehalls have been all over the place this week. The West Country has been well and truly explored and they've got the souvenirs to prove it. Plus, an unfortunate interaction with the neighbours for an…

  6. LIFE LESSONS: "Don't leave your keys near the front door..."

    · 16 min · Bonus · Explicit

    What is a bowl if it's got a lid? Is it still a bowl? Just one of the ideas to be discussed on this very episode. The focus this week is home security after a postman made a bold offering to one of the DL's... JOIN…

  7. DAMs, Thames Swimming & The Wittering Whitehalls, The Musical!

    · 36 min · S9 E11 · Explicit

    Could we ever, in this lifetime, see a musical incarnation of The Wittering Whitehalls? A DL asks exactly that question. Plus, is there an answer to the 'dear listeners' / 'dear watchers' question and a DL from a…

  8. LIFE LESSONS: "Waste not, want not."

    · 19 min · Bonus · Explicit

    The DL's are nothing if not resourceful. This week, a DL shares an invention called 'dust of the garden'. What on earth can it be? JOIN THE WITTERING WHITEHALLS FOR THEIR BARELY (A)LIVE TOUR:…

  9. Pogs, OnlyFans & ***** Lane

    · 37 min · S9 E10 · Explicit

    If you've ever enjoyed even a moment of the funny place names, a DL comes through with possibly the biggest hitter yet. See what you think. Plus, remember Pogs? Mrs Whitehall does! JOIN THE WITTERING WHITEHALLS FOR…

  10. LIFE LESSONS: "There's always another restaurant..."

    · 24 min · Bonus · Explicit

    Just a friendly piece of advice not to listen to this episode whilst you're eating! DL Phillippa has a horror story from a restaurant in Rome which had come highly recommended, but didn't live up to the hype! JOIN THE…

  11. Sliding Doors, Elvis Presley & Spotted In The Wild

    · 37 min · S9 E9 · Explicit

    Have you checked out the FULL VIDEO EPISODES of The Wittering Whitehalls yet? Why not!? Go and have a look on Global Player & YouTube! So... A huge story this week from Mr Whitehall and what could have been in 1969.…

  12. LIFE LESSONS: "You can't be good at everything."

    · 22 min · Bonus · Explicit

    When the DL's have a cracking story to tell, The Wittering Whitehalls are all ears. This week, "Mrs Chips" (it's possible this is a pseudonym!) has a hilarious tale from her stint on the school camp, as a dedicated…

  13. Keepsakes, Wading In & Churchill Books

    · 38 min · S9 E8 · Explicit

    DL Kody describes some previous advice from Mrs Whitehall as "wading in, handbag first" in this episode. What a delightful turn of phrase! Plus, a lovely idea for childhood keepsakes and can Mr Whitehall possibly…

  14. LIFE LESSONS: "Violence is not the answer."

    · 18 min · Bonus · Explicit

    No violence, please. We're all better than that. This week, a DL posits a theory that Mr Whitehall might be all together more gentle than the image he likes to portray... JOIN THE WITTERING WHITEHALLS FOR THEIR BARELY…

  15. Indecisiveness, Country Life & Sashaying...

    · 40 min · S9 E7 · Explicit

    Well, if that title doesn't cover everything you need it to, frankly, what have we become? The Whitehalls are on hand this week to help a DL who is buried in online product reviews and can't come to a conclusion...…

  16. LIFE LESSONS: Never give up!

    · 22 min · Bonus · Explicit

    Mr & Mrs Whitehall had a wedding to go to this week, so how did they get that wrong? Suffice to say that they did! Plus, an update from DL Claire about those blasted pigeons and on that subject... Is that impulse buy…

  17. Theft, Water Leaks & The Sewing Machine Museum (revisited)

    · 38 min · S9 E6 · Explicit

    Do you know where your stop cock is? Behave yourself. This week, a tale of house ownership and the nightmares that can come in tow. Plus, Sewing Machine Josh & Chef Julie are back on the scene and DL Sophie's movers…

  18. LIFE LESSONS: "No games at the table, thank you."

    · 27 min · Bonus · Explicit

    If you're throwing a dinner party, you're more than welcome to entertain your guests however you like, but if Mr & Mrs Whitehall are in attendance, don't expect them to be joining in with any games at the table... That…

  19. Vengeance, Nail-Biting & Toby Jugs

    · 41 min · S9 E5 · Explicit

    Are you familiar with Toby Jugs? You will be after this weeks instalment of The Wittering Whitehalls! Plus, getting revenge on your partner (is it ever worth it?!)and whilst nail biting is one thing, this particular DL…

  20. LIFE LESSONS: "Let sleeping dogs lie..."

    · 16 min · Bonus · Explicit

    We all love a good tale of romance and especially one that was almost lost to the mists of time... That's exactly what DL Cristoph has this week! JOIN THE WITTERING WHITEHALLS FOR THEIR BARELY (A)LIVE TOUR:…

  21. Pulling Out The Stops, Alleviating Tantrums & Cooking Rabbits

    · 45 min · S9 E4 · Explicit

    This weeks episode gets quite rude in parts, but sometimes it's exactly what's required! There's an update from last years organ-playing DL, a very cheeky street name and a recipe (or two!) JOIN THE WITTERING…

  22. LIFE LESSONS: "You can't improve the future, without disturbing the present."

    · 21 min · Bonus · Explicit

    There's a lovely voice note from Jacqui this week, sharing the wisdom of her lovely Grandmother. Plus, what was all the drama on Mrs Whitehall's birthday and why did she end up 'going nuclear'? JOIN THE WITTERING…

  23. Dr. Who, Childhood Memories & Shooting Your Bolt Early

    · 41 min · S9 E3 · Explicit

    Have you got your tickets for the very exciting Wittering Whitehalls Barely (A)Live tour yet?? What are you waiting for?! Meanwhile, back on the podcast, a PHD student is nearly at the finish line, but losing…

  24. LIFE LESSONS: "You CAN have too many paintings."

    · 16 min · Bonus · Explicit

    When it comes to collections, we all know Mr Whitehall is right up there... But is there a system? Does he consult Mrs Whitehall before making an addition to his various collections? That's what DL Antoni is asking…

  25. Restaurant Etiquette, Old English & Sodington Hall

    · 42 min · S9 E2 · Explicit

    Hands up if you've been missing Uncle Neil?? He's back today! Quite out of nowhere, with a sudden need for an explainer on old English, The Wittering Whitehalls know exactly who can help! Plus, complaining in…

  26. LIFE LESSONS: "Run your own race!"

    · 18 min · Bonus · Explicit

    You can spend your life trying to change those around you, but sometimes it's ok not to bother... So says Mrs Whitehall! JOIN THE WITTERING WHITEHALLS FOR THEIR BARELY (A)LIVE TOUR:…

  27. Pigeons, Swiss Rolls & A Grumpy Patient

    · 43 min · S9 E1 · Explicit

    Can you believe it!? Nearly 3 years since it all began; Mr & Mrs Whitehall are back for SERIES 9!!!! There's an awful lot to catch up on, in terms of general family Whitehall updates and that's before we even arrive at…

  28. LIFE LESSONS: "Join the local cricket team..."

    · 22 min · Bonus · Explicit

    Perhaps it's not a 'life lesson' as such, but it's a very specific query on this weeks bonus episode and it marks the final instalment of the series! The Wittering Whitehalls will return on Monday 26th May! You can…

  29. Teaching, Stripping & Accepting Help (with special guest Laura Smyth!)

    · 44 min · S8 E15 · Explicit

    We love a guest at Whitehall Towers and for the finale of Series 8, Hilary & Michael welcome comedian, writer and all round excellent human being, Laura Smyth. Once a fellow teacher, like Mr Whitehall, there is much to…

  30. LIFE LESSONS: "Try a bread maker!"

    · 25 min · Bonus · Explicit

    This weeks DL is living with a man who, like so many, has decided that enough is enough with ultra-processed food and that he must start making his own bread... But how's that going? Plus... Do you know anyone's home…

  31. Derrick Destruction, Wrong Speed & Bowls

    · 41 min · S8 E14 · Explicit

    Are you listening to The Wittering Whitehalls at the correct speed? It might be worth a check. Plus, the sadness (or indifference) related to throwing away an old possession and a recommendation to join your local…

  32. LIFE LESSONS: "Crime doesn't pay..."

    · 25 min · Bonus · Explicit

    Whilst this weeks lesson isn't completely black and white, it's important to do the right thing. When a DL asks the question "have you ever stolen something" it might surprise you to hear the answer! You can email…

  33. Birthday Arrest, Renovations & Water-Ma-Trout

    · 40 min · S8 E13 · Explicit

    Apparently, a 104 year old woman was recently arrested for her birthday, because that's what she wanted... Perhaps Mr Whitehall would like to celebrate his 85th year in the same way. Plus, living in a house that's…

  34. LIFE LESSONS: "You can't control nature."

    · 24 min · Bonus · Explicit

    Every now and again, a DL writes in with a corker of a story. This is one of those occasions. Strap in DL's... It's time for #BeaverGate You can email your questions, thoughts or problems to…

  35. Safari, Java & A Swiss Army Knife

    · 43 min · S8 E12 · Explicit

    There are DL's LITERALLY all over the world. This week, we're introduced to a 19 year old DL, doing his National Service in the Swiss Army! Plus, why is a DL's boyfriend calling coffee 'java' and will the Whitehalls be…

  36. LIFE LESSONS: "There's nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree."

    · 19 min · Bonus · Explicit

    Have a quick guess... Where are the Whitehalls this time?? It's Dubai! It's time to dish out some advice to some young, travelling DL's about how to manage those moments of bickering and what they can do to avoid them…

  37. UFO's, The Shoey & Beans Off Toast

    · 38 min · S8 E11 · Explicit

    At this point, the tour nears it's end and Mr Whitehall is quite ready to go home, but that does not mean the podcast stops... No, sir. The Whatsapp messages come thick and fast this week, with all sorts of goodies…

  38. LIFE LESSONS: "Try the shower!"

    · 20 min · Bonus · Explicit

    Nobody likes ironing. Surely this much, we can agree on? Luckily, Mrs Whitehall is on hand to tell you what you can do instead. Meanwhile, Mr Whitehall is doing his best to get his head around what timezone he's in.…

  39. Corpse Flower, Havers Revisited & Taumata­whakatangihanga­koauau­o­tamatea­turi­pukaka­piki­maunga­horo­nuku­pokai­whenua­ki­tana­tahu

    · 38 min · S8 E10 · Explicit

    That's definitely the longest title ever, for a Wittering Whitehalls episode... Find out what it means within! Plus, a namesake spider, a footless seagull and a forgotten makeup bag. You can email your questions,…

  40. LIFE LESSONS: "Write it down."

    · 22 min · Bonus · Explicit

    This week, a lovely DL sparks a conversation about keeping a diary to remember what you've been up to. You can email your questions, thoughts or problems to TheWitteringWhitehalls@gmail.com Or, perhaps you'd like to…

  41. Possums, The Rider & Final Thoughts (with special guest Jack Whitehall!)

    · 45 min · S8 E9 · Explicit

    You'll even hear Mrs Whitehall say this at the beginning, but this was originally supposed to be a 10 minute 'Tour Diary' entry to slot in somewhere, but before anybody knew what had happened, a full episode was born!…

  42. LIFE LESSONS: "You never know who you might bump into..."

    · 18 min · Bonus · Explicit

    The DL's always deliver, but this week, one particular DL has knocked it out of the park. Ladies and Gentlemen... Mr Chris Willey. You can email your questions, thoughts or problems to TheWitteringWhitehalls@gmail.com…

  43. AI Podcasting, Cold Water & Caravans

    · 35 min · S8 E8 · Explicit

    With the way technology is going, it might be possible for The Wittering Whitehalls to continue forever, regardless of whether Mr & Mrs Whitehall are still around... How do we feel about that? Plus, cold water…

  44. LIFE LESSONS: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

    · 22 min · Bonus · Explicit

    It's a very old adage, this one, but how will Mrs Whitehall expertly apply it? It all starts with an email from a DL who found something amazing in Thailand! You can email your questions, thoughts or problems to…

  45. Marmalade, P.G. Wodehouse & Vasectomies

    · 39 min · S8 E7 · Explicit

    The Whitehall travelling circus trucks onwards and you find Michael & Hilary in New Zealand this week. Regardless of location, there's much to discuss... Jump in! You can email your questions, thoughts or problems to…

  46. LIFE LESSONS: "It's all about perception."

    · 23 min · Bonus · Explicit

    You're never too old to learn something, that's for sure. This week, the Whitehalls learn something about coded messaging and what people might be communicating from their front garden arrangements... You can email…

  47. Impulsivity, Inner Monologues & The Mercator Projection

    · 44 min · S8 E6 · Explicit

    There is so, so much to take in this week. Hands up if you already know what The Mercator projection is? Plus, more control panel misery for Mr Whitehall and the G.O.A.T DL initialism yet. You can email your…

  48. LIFE LESSONS: "Try everything once."

    · 19 min · Bonus · Explicit

    Still in their Sydney hotel room, the Whitehalls are challenged to try something they've never tried before, but can Mr Whitehall be persuaded?? You can email your questions, thoughts or problems to…

  49. Churchill's Mower, Afternoon Tea & Moving Back Home

    · 41 min · S8 E5 · Explicit

    The Wittering Whitehalls are officially, 100% international! Thousands of miles from Whitehall Towers, from a hotel in Sydney, Australia - Michael & Hilary are back on the mic to answer your queries, problems and…

  50. LIFE LESSONS: "Speak to Citizens Advice!"

    · 20 min · Bonus · Explicit

    Have you got a landlord problem? Perhaps The Wittering Whitehalls can help... Or not, as it turns out. However, Mrs Whitehall reckons there are things that can be done for this weeks DL and Mr Whitehall has some ideas…

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