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Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding? And Other Crimes

Who shat on the floor at my wedding? And other crimes

69 episodes · in order · Explicit

Season 1: Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding?

More about the show

This was a question shared by brides Helen McLaughlin and Karen Whitehouse after they tied the knot on 11 August, 2018 on a boat in Amsterdam. It was a question that launched a podcast, which led to the hiring of unqualified detective Lauren Kilby, the purchase of a €99 lie detector, and the bothering of some of the world’s best forensic experts - all in an attempt to find out “poo dunnit”.

Season 2: The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case

The investigative trio take on a brand new mystery set in Sweden (Scandi Noir if you will).

Season 3: When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes

The unqualified detectives attempt to solve real non-crime crimes and ridiculous mysteries submitted by YOU - our precious listeners. Their selection criteria for new cases is simple: “Anything the police laugh at is a case for us.” And because ‘time is money’, all cases need to be cracked as quickly as possible.

Episodes page 1 of 2

  1. Season 1 Trailer - Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding?

    · 2:55 · Trailer · Explicit

    A true story involving two brides and one turd. What do you do if someone defecates on the floor at your wedding? Re-evaluate your friends and family? No, you launch an investigation to find who did it. Join the…

  2. S1 E1 Who shat on the floor at my wedding? 'A crime was committed'

    · 15 min · S1 E1 · Explicit

    In this very first episode we delve into the details of a crime that took place at a lesbian wedding in 2018. Join the brides, Helen and Karen, and ‘Detective’ Lauren Kilby as the trio explore possible motives and show…

  3. S1 E2 Who shat on the floor at my wedding? 'Three nuggets'

    · 25 min · S1 E2 · Explicit

    The team puts the USB ‘Police Edition’ polygraph test v2.0 through its paces and hook up bridesmaid / key witness, Emma, to obtain information. The test results give the trio something more than they bargained for as…

  4. S1 E3 Who shat on the floor at my wedding? 'Straight, straight, straight, lesbian'

    · 20 min · S1 E3 · Explicit

    Forensic psychologist Mike Berry gives the team some solid advice. They head to the red light district of Amsterdam and confront an ex lover who attended the wedding. Was this a crime of passion? See Privacy Policy at…

  5. S1 E4 Who shat on the floor at my wedding? 'Solid as a rock'

    · 18 min · S1 E4 · Explicit

    The team goes on a road trip back to the scene of the crime to see if they can unearth some important clues. Detective Lauren Kilby dazzles the brides with her innovative - never seen before - forensic examination…

  6. S1 E5 Who shat on the floor at my wedding? 'Comedy joke shop turd'

    · 19 min · S1 E5 · Explicit

    The team grill another key witness in their interrogation chambers, and grow increasingly uneasy as they discover that this week’s witness statement contradicts the story they heard in Episode 2. Who is lying and who…

  7. S1 E6 Who shat on the floor at my wedding? 'Four hours in the bathroom'

    · 38 min · S1 E6 · Explicit

    The team finally interrogate Henk - the MAN who was reported to have spent 4 hours in the LADIES bathroom during the wedding and who was found at the scene of the crime cleaning up the turd. Was Henk a hero or was…

  8. S1 E7 Who shat on the floor at my wedding? 'File number 8653'

    · 26 min · S1 E7 · Explicit

    The team send a survey around to all guests, the results of which are alarming. Fingers are pointed at new suspects, the mother of the bride is interrogated and some new evidence comes forward that changes the…

  9. S1 E8 Who shat on the floor at my wedding? 'The Entertainer'

    · 40 min · S1 E8 · Explicit

    The team unearth an important piece of evidence which brings a new sinister suspect to light. Forensic scientist Jo Millington comes on board to offer her expert opinion and opens up a new focus for the investigation:…

  10. S1 E9 Who shat on the floor at my wedding? 'On his knees'

    · 42 min · S1 E9 · Explicit

    Feeling the wool was pulled over her eyes in the previous episode, Detective Lauren Kilby turns on Karen - the very bride who brought her on to investigate this case. Is Karen the genuine victim of this crime? Or is…

  11. S1 E10 Who shat on the floor at my wedding? 'Size of a small fist'

    · 37 min · S1 E10 · Explicit

    A brand new witness comes forward with some alarming new information. In light of this new worrying lead, the team seeks the expertise of someone with very high security clearance. Is Detective Lauren Kilby…

  12. S1 E11 Who shat on the floor at my wedding? 'Bad cop'

    · 46 min · S1 E11 · Explicit

    Feeling like she was too lenient on Henk in Episode 6, Detective Lauren Kilby decides it’s time for BAD COP to come out. The man who was in the ladies bathroom for 4 hours is dragged back into the interrogation…

  13. S1 E12 Who shat on the floor at my wedding? 'Let's get ready to fumble'

    · 1 h 05 min · S1 E12 · Explicit

    A former boss with a chip on her shoulder.... a bridesmaid who left town immediately after the wedding.... a heavily pregnant woman overwhelmed with hormones... and an alarming frisson between two unexpected guests….…

  14. S1 E13 Who shat on the floor at my wedding? 'The Finale'

    · 1 h 43 min · S1 E13 · Explicit

    The team pull out all the stops to find out what really happened on the night of 11th August 2018. Can a real lie detector test, a code breaker and a psychic shed any light on who shat on the floor at Helen and…

  15. Season 2 Trailer - The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case

    · 2:42 · Trailer

    The trio behind hit podcast “Who Shat On the Floor At My Wedding?” are back! This season the three unqualified detectives take on a brand new mystery set in Sweden called The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case. Being…

  16. S2 E1 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Worn but washed’

    · 28 min · S2 E1 · Explicit

    In this very first episode of 'The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case' we delve into the details of a crime that took place in a remote village in Sweden over a decade ago. Join former victims of Season 1, Helen and Karen, and…

  17. S2 E2 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Meatballs at IKEA’

    · 25 min · S2 E2 · Explicit

    In this episode, the team officially kick off the investigation and introduce Black Lake - the remote hamlet in Sweden where the crime took place. Initial evidence is assessed and some calls with suspects reveal some…

  18. S2 E3 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Casual tie’

    · 45 min · S2 E3 · Explicit

    The trio come up with a genius but high risk idea that will put them in a very uncomfortable and potentially dangerous situation. Will it be worth it? Is danger a necessity to crack this case? Preparations for Sweden…

  19. S2 E4 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Eye candy’

    · 54 min · S2 E4 · Explicit

    The team arrive in Sweden and the pressure is on to crack the case before they leave in 10 days’ time. They launch head first into their first big interrogation with the victim’s ex lover Mikael - the man Kristina…

  20. S2 E5 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Daddy Issues’

    · 40 min · S2 E5 · Explicit

    It’s T minus seven hours until the undercover operation commences. In this episode, the 'detectives' and Professor Mike Berry nervously make their final preparations for the big event. Under the careful supervision of…

  21. S2 E6 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Midsommar Madness’

    · 45 min · S2 E6 · Explicit

    The moment the team have been frantically preparing for has finally arrived - it’s time to go undercover at the elk slaughterhouse. Will ‘Uncle Mike’s” fake undercover identity be exposed? What new leads will be…

  22. S2 E7 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Scratchy scratch’

    · 37 min · S2 E7 · Explicit

    The clock is ticking. The detectives only have four days left in Sweden to crack this case. Cousin Per and Cousin Klas have contradicting stories and it’s time to find out who is lying and why. Some key evidence is…

  23. S2 E8 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘The man in the yellow jacket'

    · 44 min · S2 E8 · Explicit

    The team drive straight over to best friend Vanja’s house to find out what information she’s been hiding from Kristina for 12 years. And the answer truly rocks the trio to their core in what becomes the biggest twist…

  24. S2 E9 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Thank you and sorry”

    · 45 min · S2 E9 · Explicit

    The forensic results from the grey hair are IN and the team finally uncover who the hair belongs to. Will this lead them to the perpetrator? With 2 days left in Sweden, the team are looking for a person that Vanja…

  25. S2 E10 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Butterfly effect’

    · 32 min · S2 E10 · Explicit

    Perpetrator meets victim. And the future of friendships hang in the balance. Motives are unearthed and explained, and a shocking new revelation brings an unexpected twist in the investigation. Detective Lauren’s…

  26. S2 E11 The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case - ‘Logistics of the peep hole”

    · 1 h 04 min · S2 E11 · Explicit

    In the dramatic finale of The Case Of The Tiny Suit/Case, Detective Lauren Kilby and her assistants finally get answers and resolution to the case. Who was the mastermind and what was their motive? Follow us on…

  27. S1 BONUS EPISODE - 'Drunk Women Solving Crime x Who shat on the floor at my wedding'

    · 57 min · S1 E14 · Explicit

    If you've always wondered what would happen if we joined forces with the lovely ladies behind 'Drunk Women Solving Crime' in front of a live audience, then wonder no more, because that's exactly what we did, and you…

  28. S2 BONUS EPISODE - ‘Hawaiian shirt fashion show’

    · 22 min · S2 E12 · Explicit

    In this special bonus episode, the team reveal their biggest failure of Season 2. How did they end up in the middle of nowhere in Sweden, with Karen directing a musicless fashion show with 13 models who are all…

  29. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Trailer’

    · 5:12 · Trailer · Explicit

    WE’RE BACK! This season, ‘Detective’ Lauren Kilby and Assistant to the ‘Detective’, Karen Whitehouse, return to take on a fresh batch of ridiculous mysteries and listener-submitted non-crime crimes from around the…

  30. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Fecal Fugitive, Part 1'

    · 35 min · S3 E1 · Explicit

    A dream wedding in the woods takes a filthy turn when a guest leaves more than just memories behind. With the cops refusing to investigate, the detectives race to unmask the poopetrator. Was it the wedding bean…

  31. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Fecal Fugitive, Part 2'

    · 48 min · S3 E2 · Explicit

    The race to unmask the poopetrator ends here. In the finale of Fecal Fugitive, Detective LK and Assistant to the Detective KW follow the final leads to flush out the truth. One suspect is released from custody.…

  32. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Fecal Fugitive, BONUS'

    · 20 min · S3 E3 · Explicit

    What is the correct etiquette when facing a digestive dilemma at a wedding? How should the poopetrator at Andrea's wedding have acted to maintain grace and dignity after committing their fecal felony? Detective Lauren…

  33. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Human v. Bear, Part 1'

    · 39 min · S3 E4 · Explicit

    In 2023, photos of a sun bear at Hangzhou Zoo in Eastern China broke the internet. Why? Because the bear was waving and looked suspiciously like a bloke in a ill-fitted bear suit. But what is the truth, is this an…

  34. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Human v. Bear, Part 2'

    · 45 min · S3 E5 · Explicit

    In the trial of Human v. Bear, Karen and Detective LK face the intense challenge of becoming opposing lawyers. Will the bears 'zips' be the defence's downfall? Will the muffin top theory topple the prosecution? What…

  35. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Who Shat In My Dishwasher?'

    · 51 min · S3 E6 · Explicit

    Veronica’s Saturday morning began like any other, quiet and unremarkable. But by midday, her home had transformed from a place of comfort to a scene of unspeakable violation. The dishwasher, once a symbol of…

  36. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Doggy Bag, Part 1'

    · 46 min · S3 E7 · Explicit

    Through a dark twist of fate a dead dog named Joao vanishes in the most unlikely theft imaginable. A bizarre mistake spirals into a rollercoaster of chaos, deception, and the relentless hunt for answers. Each…

  37. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Doggy Bag, Part 2'

    · 42 min · S3 E8 · Explicit

    Just as Detective LK and KW thought they were closing in on the truth, one shocking revelation blows the whole case wide open. Confusion mounts, new leads emerge, and a tender goodbye is said to Joao, the four legged…

  38. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Rural Rectal Rampage, Part 1'

    · 37 min · S3 E9 · Explicit

    The quiet streets of Chipping Norton are no longer at peace. A phantom prankster - or an organised ring of pranksters - is targeting local stores and tagging innocent household items with stickers that say “for rectal…

  39. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Rural Rectal Rampage, Part 2'

    · 42 min · S3 E10 · Explicit

    The investigation reaches new levels of desperation. We find ourselves loitering outside a school, attempting to brief two teenagers on an undercover mission. We consult a nurse about the medical implications of anal…

  40. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Rural Rectal Rampage, Part 3'

    · 35 min · S3 E11 · Explicit

    A prime suspect suddenly blocks Karen from all form of communication, disappearing without a trace. Meanwhile, a reckless pyramid scheme involving teenagers spirals wildly out of control, taking the case to fresh…

  41. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Rural Rectal Rampage, Part 4'

    · 31 min · S3 E12 · Explicit

    In the tense finale of Rural Rectal Rampage, we finally meet the shadowy figure pulling the strings behind the entire scandal. A seemingly simple confrontation unravels into something far more complex… an unexpected…

  42. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Santa Snatcher'

    · 46 min · S3 E13 · Explicit

    On 14th December 2019, a child-sized decorative Santa vanished from The Strawberry Hall pub in Dublin. But this wasn’t your average festive felony. Within 24 hours, photos of the kidnapped Santa began appearing on a…

  43. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Pleasurable Percentages, BONUS'

    · 24 min · S3 E14 · Explicit

    How good are we at solving crimes… statistically speaking? After several months of operating the Unqualified Detective Agency, we finally attempt to answer the question no one asked but everyone fears: what is our…

  44. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Phantom Cleaner, Part 1'

    · 40 min · S3 E15 · Explicit

    What kind of criminal breaks into your home… and cleans it? When a man from Massachusetts leaves the house with his son, he returns to a scene of domestic disturbance. Floors scrubbed. Surfaces polished. Toys in his…

  45. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Phantom Cleaner, Part 2'

    · 35 min · S3 E16 · Explicit

    Contact is finally made with the sole witness to this crime - a small leopard gecko who goes by the name Persephone. And against all odds, she leads us directly to our prime suspect. The only person who fits this crime…

  46. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Doggy Bag, Part 3'

    · 44 min · S3 E17 · Explicit

    The long awaited investigation returns in our attempt to finally find Justice for João. At the end of Doggy Bag Part 2, we put out a call to listeners across the world asking for any leads connected to this story.…

  47. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Doggy Bag, Part 4'

    · 42 min · S3 E18 · Explicit

    After asking listeners to submit their own versions of this story, we start building a global timeline. One that tracks how this story mutated and spread across borders and decades. Then we find it. A newspaper…

  48. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Doggy Bag, Part 5'

    · 1 h 01 min · S3 E19 · Explicit

    It all ends today*. It's time to chase down the last two remaining leads in our frantic mission to get justice for João; Ana from the Slovenian chain, and Joanna from the Dutch chain. Will they lead us to the source…

  49. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Boob Bandit, Part 1'

    · 51 min · S3 E20 · Explicit

    In 2022, six elite survivalists were clinging to life in the Peruvian Amazon after 39 days of extreme survival. Starving and desperate, one of them shot down a huge turkey-like bird. They put it in a pot to simmer…

  50. When The Cops Say No, We Say Yes - ‘Boob Bandit, Part 2'

    · 39 min · S3 E21 · Explicit

    Amber reveals who she caught chewing outside the shelter in the dead of night. Steven and Waz are brought in for questioning. One thing is clear. All evidence and suspicion leads to one suspect. Dave. He's stayed…

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