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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Confetti Cannon

293 episodes · Explicit

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya features a pair of grizzled gay ghouls sitting on chairs, holding microphones, and discussing their fabulous lives in Tinseltown. (featuring occasional forays into movies, television shows, and air-conditioning) The New York Times called them models, moguls, actors, influencers, drag queens, RuPaul's Drag Race contestants, and even humanoids. If one thing can be said about these two preternaturally gorgeous queens' podcast, it's that Trixie and Katya find the sheer, unadulterated beauty of pure insanity. Tune in every week to experience the auditory pleasure that is The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya.

More about the show

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Episodes page 1 of 6

  1. Alyssa Edwards and the Woeful Wigs of Purgatory

    · 1 h 05 min · Episode 290 · Explicit

    Upon a moonless Los Angeles All Hallows’ Eve, the resplendent Alyssa Edwards descended into the audio-visual chambers of The Bald and the Beautiful, where Trixie Mattel presided over a necropolis of tales concerning…

  2. Candis Cayne’s Resplendent Institute for Joint Health

    · 58 min · Episode 289 · Explicit

    Have years of high-heeled lip-syncs, repeated death drops, and strenuous Bad Romance choreography left you suffering from chronic neck pain, debilitating back injuries, deteriorating knees, or hips that sing louder…

  3. Juno Birch’s Ol’ Timey All-American BBQ!

    · 56 min · Episode 288 · Explicit

    Come one, come all, to Juno Birch’s Ol’ Timey All-American BBQ, nestled in a picturesque Burbank backyard where grease-soaked hamburgers, bacon-wrapped hot dogs, and mountainous slabs of pulled pork swim in a kiddie…

  4. Kathy Griffin and Complimentary Happy Endings

    · 55 min · Episode 287 · Explicit

    From the smoking ruins of lesser mortals’ expectations, Kathy Griffin ascends onto the pod like a flame-crowned phoenix borne aloft on the trumpets of destiny; seizing the platform to restore honor to the misunderstood…

  5. Meatball and the Forbidden Posterior Pickle

    · 56 min · Episode 286 · Explicit

    As night fell and the city surrendered to shadow, Meatball and Trixie embarked upon a feverish pilgrimage through humanity’s most sacred mysteries: the ceremonial placement of pickles in derrieres, Tokyo’s boundless…

  6. Roz Hernandez Should Be More Famous

    · 52 min · Episode 285 · Explicit

    The deliciously-delightful and splendidly-spooky Roz Hernandez descends upon the studio like a Victorian apparition with gorgeous bangs, joining Trixie for a feverish symposium on ghosts, gays, and conservatives who…

  7. A Transcendent Poolside Smoothie Recipe

    · 48 min · Episode 284 · Explicit

    To fully optimize the final days of sunshine and warmth this September, wait until the afternoon is aglow with solar benevolence; the perfect time for a sun-drenched pool party and a refreshing smoothie. Bow your head…

  8. The Grand Imperial Jubilee of Radiance, Womanhood & Excellence

    · 50 min · Episode 283 · Explicit

    Legends tell of the final round of a combination beauty pageant/spelling bee that ceased to resemble any known human contest, but had instead become a brutal reckoning of song, dance, and cutthroat orthography. It…

  9. All Friendship is Valid

    · 50 min · Episode 282 · Explicit

    If we were to distill this episode into a single thesis statement, it would be the argument that friendship resides not merely in affection or proximity, but in the reciprocal recognition through which separate…

  10. One Ring to Rule Them All

    · 1 h 00 min · Episode 281

    Ladies, Theydies, and Gentlethems! Behold Trixie's newly-acquired ring of destiny: the one and only Oura Ring! A small and gleaming metallic circlet wherein the chronicles of the mortal frame are gathered and organized…

  11. The Ballad of Merrily and Bob

    · 49 min · Episode 280 · Explicit

    From a nameless wind-swept Midwest town came Merrily, an innocent creature bound for Hollywood beneath a horrible perm, her face entombed in pancake makeup thick enough to withstand the California sun. Into Bob…

  12. We Finally Explain Art

    · 49 min · Episode 279 · Explicit

    Art, to us beautiful biological women, is the residue produced when consciousness attempts to impose intelligibility upon the otherwise rudimentary foundation of existence. It's a beautiful and occasionally difficult…

  13. Some Like It Hot & Flaky

    · 56 min · Episode 278 · Explicit

    Hey there, homemakers: why serve your hungry brood another dreary, bare-faced supper when the smart modern cook can tuck beef, chicken, ham, veggie dogs, Cyclospora-laden lettuce, and even yesterday’s leftovers into a…

  14. Wear Your Virtue, Broadcast Your Bouquet with Trixie and Katya

    · 58 min · Episode 277 · Explicit

    We here at Bald, LLC are proud to present: "The Essence of Consequence," our ultra-natural deodorant lovingly compounded from Icelandic aloe, pulverized cedar bark, ceremonial Scottish peat, and the pollen from…

  15. The Magic of Movements with Trixie and Katya

    · 1 h 01 min · Episode 276 · Explicit

    Across the porcelain provinces of our human experience, each soul leaves behind its own small testament; some solemn and substantial, with others fleeting as a whispered flush under the gentle glow from a nightlight.…

  16. Commuter? I Hardly Know Her! with Trixie and Katya

    · 53 min · Episode 275 · Explicit

    The City of Los Angeles, in the full radiance of its civic wisdom and an ambition matched only by its bewildering infrastructure, proudly announces the inauguration of a new subway line connecting the private residence…

  17. Maria Bamford Can Bomb Anywhere, So Why Drive? with Trixie

    · 1 h 04 min · Episode 274 · Explicit

    Once upon a time in a magical far-off land, Trixie Mattel, the undisputed Royal Duchess of Drag, believed herself to be best friends with Maria Bamford, the realm's undeniable Queen of Comedy. Having followed her…

  18. Ten Queens, Five Suitcases, No Dignity: All Stars Season 2 with Trixie and Katya

    · 1 h 17 min · Episode 273 · Explicit

    Dim the lights, dear podcast friends, and settle in for a delightful tale. In a world where no cohesive thought process exists for long, two drag queens sat before their microphones in a Pepto-Bismol-hued studio and…

  19. Robby Hoffman is Aggressively Kind with Trixie

    · 56 min · Episode 272 · Explicit

    Once upon a Silver Lake lanai, beneath a moon so bright it seemed personally sponsored by comradery and friendship, Dame Trixie Mattel met Emmy-nominated comedian and actor Robby Hoffman, and before the iced drinks…

  20. A Ventriloquist Love Affair with Trixie and Katya

    · 1 h 04 min · Episode 271 · Explicit

    Take notice, patrons of both the curious and mechanically marvelous! Two celebrated drag-queen automatons seated in comfy chairs, shall speak herein for approximately one hour via the mysterious ventriloquial arts!…

  21. "You Smell Like Hospital" with Trixie and Katya

    · 1 h 13 min · Episode 270 · Explicit

    Upon the pale and trembling threshold of a Beverly Hills hospital bed, where machines blinked like tiny frigid stars and the kingdom of Katya's body had been besieged by a cruel and venomous gastrointestinal blockade,…

  22. Kelly Mantle Demands More Glamour and Less Clamor with Trixie

    · 56 min · Episode 269 · Explicit

    Like a velvet-cloaked goth privateer, Kelly Mantle strode into the podcast studio this week and set her microphone ablaze as if forged by fire in a glamorous volcano. With every story, Kelly summoned tempests of…

  23. Leland's How-To-Guide for Musical Excellence with Trixie

    · 50 min · Episode 268 · Explicit

    To properly record and master this episode featuring acclaimed music producer and Drag Race Rusical songwriting and composing legend Leland, first establish a controlled conversational environment in which wit,…

  24. Juno Birch Is a Little Less Blue with Trixie

    · 1 h 00 min · Episode 267 · Explicit

    Once upon a time, today's exceptionally iridescent guest was twilight-blue and hidden behind a cloak of pastel azure. Now that cerulean shell has loosened, revealing shades of the full spectrum long hidden. Emerging…

  25. IMHO's Darby and Alexis Summon Charcuterie Spirits with Trixie

    · 59 min · Episode 266 · Explicit

    The city of Burbank was sweating secrets, and somewhere beneath the flicker of a dying neon sign, IMHO: The Podcast's Darby Lynn Cartwright & Alexis Bevels were cooking up a scheme with Katya’s name written all over…

  26. Courtney Act is Eminently Keen with Trixie and Katya

    · 1 h 03 min · Episode 265 · Explicit

    In today's class, myriad topics of interest and erudition will be covered, but first we shall crack open Miss Act's Rules of Grace and Refinement Vol. 1, beginning with the phrase, “Are you keen?” The word 'keen'…

  27. Thank you for Choosing Bald Airlines with Trixie and Katya

    · 51 min · Episode 264 · Explicit

    Ladies and gentlemen, as we taxi to the gate we'd like to thank you for choosing Bald Airlines, where every seat is first class and includes botox, estate planning, legally-binding mortuary consultation, a yacht…

  28. Kristen Schaal and the Science of "Bricked" with Katya

    · 1 h 09 min · Episode 263

    According to the newly-published Schaal-Zamo Compendium of Physiological Sex Stuff, "Bricked" (or "Briqued" as it is colloquially known for females) is a coordinated bio-psycho-physiologic process involving cognition,…

  29. Bobby and the Ice Queens with Trixie and Katya

    · 1 h 00 min · Episode 262 · Explicit

    Premiering this Summer off off off Broadway, it's "Bobby & the Ice Queens"! From a fired usher at "Spider Man: Turn Off the Dark" comes the glitter-drenched fever dream no sane theater critic saw coming: a…

  30. An Open Letter to the Emmys with Trixie and Katya

    · 52 min · Episode 261 · Explicit

    Dearest esteemed leadership of the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. We respectfully and fervently request the honor of serving as presenters for the Lead Actress category during the primetime telecast…

  31. A Triumph of Pure Delight with Trixie and Katya

    · 45 min · Episode 260 · Explicit

    What you are about to hear is the absolute apex of what humanity has frequently referred to as "joy." The following sixty-ish minutes of audio and video are a glorious, overflowing symphony of happiness so immense it…

  32. The Bride and the Betrothed with Trixie and Katya

    · 55 min · Episode 259 · Explicit

    Ms. Trixie Mattel and Ms. Katya Zamo kindly request the distinguished honor of your presence at their most magnificent nuptial celebration, where the theme shall be "Baroque Techno Jurassic Gothic Cyborg Barbie…

  33. The Squirtle Spurtle with Trixie and Katya

    · 51 min · Episode 258 · Explicit

    If you thought oatmeal recipes couldn't be sensual, you'd be dead wrong. Dim the lights, burn that bergamot arousal candle from your cousin's bachelorette party, and bring 1 cup of steel-cut oats to a slow, smoldering…

  34. A Motherforking Clusterfluff with Trixie and Katya

    · 43 min · Episode 257 · Explicit

    Welcome back to another motherflocking, cockadoodle, son-of-a-biscuit episode of The Bald and the Beautiful, where our dolls yap their pretty little ash-offs about fame, folly, and every half-baked batshirt thought…

  35. The Last Rites of Eternal Chaos with Trixie and Katya

    · 49 min · Episode 256 · Explicit

    You are cordially invited to attend a most distinguished yet eminently fake wake in honor of Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova, the undisputed queens of chaos, podcasts, and mirth. We shall convene in a chapel…

  36. This One Goes Out to All the Buttholes with Trixie and Katya

    · 58 min · Episode 255 · Explicit

    I am the ring that no laurels adorn, A puckered little star at the edge of the form. No medals are pinned to my tireless skin, Yet I toil and labor each day, all from within. Through tempests of spice and fast food…

  37. A Meditation on Fruit Cups and Resplendence with Trixie and Katya

    · 49 min · Episode 254 · Explicit

    In the majestic kingdom of sleep where the heavens are transformed into a silken washhouse of torrential storms, the clouds are wrung dry by invisible hands while heinous blonde flamingos are carried off to a prison of…

  38. The Bald and the Breakfast with Trixie and Katya

    · 46 min · Episode 253 · Explicit

    Wake up and put on your nicest wiglet, Deborah! The sun is shining and it's time to head on down to The Bald & The Breakfast, Weho's newest morning hotspot where Trixie and Katya are slinging eggs, flipping griddles,…

  39. A Freshly-Peeled Lease on Life with Trixie and Katya

    · 46 min · Episode 252 · Explicit

    Dear Dr. Whiffenschtuppel, I write to you this day to express my deepest gratitude for changing my life. Long ago, I remember staring at my banana on the kitchen counter, bruised and drooping with despair; a perfect…

  40. From Hooves to Haute with Trixie and Katya

    · 51 min · Episode 251 · Explicit

    This week's episode is presented by Hollywood's premier foot feminization service, "From Hooves to Haute." With our patented treatment derived from centuries of Icelandic foot worship, our clinicians will transform…

  41. 250 Episodes of Dolls Being Dolls with Trixie and Katya

    · 45 min · Episode 250 · Explicit

    Our beloved listeners and wayward souls, we write to you from the glittery halls of memory, where two hundred and fifty episodes now flutter like sequined gowns on a brightly-lit stage of times past. Our hearts are…

  42. The Silence of the Hooves with Trixie and Katya

    · 53 min · Episode 249 · Explicit

    Dearest Katya. It is I, Silas P. Hoofman, the ghost of the antelope who currently hangs in a perpetual state of taxidermy above your bed. From my velveted perch upon this ignoble wall, I address you with a heart still…

  43. The Twelfth Day After Christmas with Trixie and Katya

    · 49 min · Episode 248 · Explicit

    ’Twas 12 days after Christmas, when we gathered in the valley, To record a podcast and reflect on our holiday glee. We had dashed through L.A., to a glittering A-List soirée, To eat pizza and sliders at Charlize…

  44. A Paranormal New Year's Eve with Trixie and Katya

    · 50 min · Episode 247 · Explicit

    On a balmy Los Angeles New Year’s Eve, as the city chimed with hope and regret, the Podcast Ghost of 2025 came gliding through the lamplit air to visit Trixie and Katya, its countenance stitched of hours spent…

  45. Daphne Guinness and the Anarchy of Creativity with Katya

    · 56 min · Episode 246 · Explicit

    On a mild Los Angeles night as Christmas bells rang out into the darkness like gentle couture thunder, fashion model, curator, writer, musician, and actor, Daphne Guinness, descended into the velveteen ether of The…

  46. How to Use Double Entendres with Trixie and Katya

    · 47 min · Episode 245 · Explicit

    Today, as our fingers gently brushed the record button and we engaged in a long and thorough microphone check, we adjusted the levels for several minutes, thus ensuring the room was warm and ready and inviting us to…

  47. Lushious Massacr's Plan for World Peace Through the Booty Hole with Trixie and Katya

    · 57 min · Episode 244 · Explicit

    Official Statement from the esteemed Lushious H. Massacr IV, Esq.: In a moment unprecedented in the annals of human cooperation, the international drag community proudly proclaims the dawn of lasting global concord,…

  48. The Cream Nation Sensation! with Trixie and Katya

    · 39 min · Episode 243 · Explicit

    Get ready, America, because the new dance craze "Cream Nation" is sweeping the country faster than a soda fountain jerk slinging banana splits! From hip teenagers at the malt shop to squares cutting loose on the living…

  49. Kim Chi's Love Affair with Public Libraries with Trixie and Katya

    · 1 h 05 min · Episode 242 · Explicit

    The dolls are joined by the prodigious patisserie of elegance and razor-sharp wit, the incomparable Kim Chi! Miss Chi who would like you know that public libraries stand as luminous beacons of civic generosity,…

  50. Observational Cinematic Compulsion Disorder with Trixie and Katya

    · 50 min · Episode 241 · Explicit

    Observational Cinematic Compulsion Disorder, or OCCD, is a common behavioral condition characterized by involuntary ocular fixation on a neighbor's in-flight audiovisual LCD display, even in the absence of accompanying…

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