The Madison Daily Leader (Madison, S.D.) 1890-Current
May 7, 1890
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imits I i? P":\& jf !i»S tV or A vr.«f tttgpixkmn tfar¥RLW# ha* lately been (tatented by which tfct llfedi of a clock to i wrtoin how Mf made to 3oni|tlele an fleetric cur rant connected with the kitchen *ti»v«, that the fire in given hour arrivea. Belgium UM mlmlli la aeMniiig ly unknown Wben it rain* in that amntry Um paople itW remain un der cover nntil the atom ia over or go oat to get soaked A* a rale a rainy iftjr haii BO effect on the people, though they do *helter their horse* A oriL English clergyman who •ttecitly preached a fin brilliant aer •MMa on the text "Thou shalt not itMl" wa* charged with having stoian it. Ha indignantly denied this, aeeert tef that he had paid for it in *mh at agency W1M«« lithograpiMd mmmonm •W sold s Hour. Waa tern farwerN have hwm re* «iiving a circular which openn a» fol Iwa: *"To Chriatian farmer^—Do you wait t» get in on the ground floor and kaep the commandment* at the name tisie If ao, read thi* And then it aafoldii a pitt dwindling scheme, which flrat of all involve* the payment by tkt (tnuw o£ 4 '•ortfi'i Ajuinwt of He^rt M. l^TAirtrr i* to fat "boodle." He naid to a fnenl be flsre he left thk country in nearch of Emiu Pasha "I'm getting on paat Middle life I have not saved a cent. My book* and lecture* ahall pay me within the next five vear* enough to •Mbke my old age comfortable. Thi* African expedition in for moaay sot glory." IK Dareheatar. England, a twuity of r*ent» par dozen offered for old aparrowa, 4 eenta per dosen for yonug and 14 oenta per dosen for eggs. The sparrows have grown NO nnmeron* all through Doraetalure that in fiamsii they are said to destroy half axp», while in village^ they min pirden«» and even strip the thatch InUdmga. '"hpK.iXix® of quotataoaa bom my oarn book," said Mr. **Fe«tns Bailey la a recant visitor, "I remember *hen I entered the first Alexandra Palace, a law days before it wa» burned dowa, wife drew my attention to the *en taoee that ran round the inside of the tnuiJing. my own iiiM» We live in Aaeds, not wordii in thoughts, not Aveaths» 4a laalinga, aoi m4#ure« on £KiiLian thievea are uniug a con- (Mvanoe looking Like aa ordinary walk lag stick, bnt which is so arranged that h*r pressing a spring at the handle the flirule will spread ajtart and form a aart of spring clip that will take hold af anything that i« within reach The tiling in called the "Contmeutal lifting •lick.' and is used to take goods from behind oonntara whaa Mm shopaiaa'a hack in trirued. •Plltt AtfMlag*1 haa racaiwd a tea* Mendotin shock in England on acconnt 0 the discloanraa in the Bircheli caae. Judging from the inquiries that thaae pnpii farmers make of their agents, they need a great deal of teaching. Jne young man recently wrote to in ^jmre if eotton was grown in a certain locality is anada, and the aaptant gjgent answered that it wan not, but feat so important an iadaatW$ CMU 9ot long ejKta|*e attention. A«»tnr«kdy javnuaUat ia who was seeking admiaaton to the re porter* gallery in the House of Com guoos, scored aa ini|iurtant point in aecuring the admi»i»ton froni the Speaker through Mi, Bradlaugh. that I here was »o law or order tor bidding 4h« admiwiion of women to the g&llarv •"ii**- ha* aitown much pluck in pnah ing her elaim that she haa received lour (request* for "interview*" ia the iater jest of other journals, one reqtiMt for iher portrait for pabtteatioa, atti mm offer of marriage. TSSBK is a miatake current la regard te the birthplace of the late Ofmaral felcheack. It ia true that while Hobert waa yat an infant his father re ^aaMSv«4 lo Franklin Ohio henoe the \l«r©r. 0«is«ral Hcheaick's father waa ,1. pa*t/r of the old PreaJjterian chnrch f, /«^at BaUatou Caatar, Baratoga f'-onaty, |l. Y., aad ia vlha R«f. Mr. Prime a* im times. A Okblor Selection «T «Xt» ••ting Items. 4 MdiWMUx engineer taiavnt^ a machine which eea ptrk 1,W of luitcbM in Bttivte. ttajmjjni'fl mv cigarette l«w re qttlree the seller to r** an eitra tax of ISO. and to jnake affidavit that the aigMettaa ha aaila cuatam, no injurion* i STAVI old parsonage, yot ^tv atandiwg. on Oet. 1, 1809, Hob«rt C. l^oheAok wa* bona. The parsonage wa* alao the Urthpiaaa of another relabrity lli*r Kav. l»r. tiamttui ireiueus Prime «Uiea paract* were a tlait to at the tio»» D*. CiiHLti LAV, of peculiar bronze implement that found near the *cene of the Wyoming Valloy i disturbed alluvial soil It la ten inchaa long and two inche* in diameter. re •ambling an ordinary rolling pin. In each «td are the mafic remains of an mm or ateel spike Through the body of the implement in an eye two inches long for the attachment of a handle It i* identical with the brotitai ui the British Mniram, and will W give* to Hue Smithsonian Institution PrntHOK WiLDBMII, of DMUUllt, la Wating a new *«hmari»# boat, bnilt after the idea of Jnlm YerneV famon* craft. It ia like a tifth in form, and can go below the unbmergiad chains, in harhom, can rnn aronnd buoys, and ean cut cable* and aire* with the n)iearn at ttn keel. It in an easy to hang on theda vita of a ven*el aa a lifeboat Two men who work the ve*»el have ntayed in it several honrK nnder water witlKiut feeling iumnvenieuce. They lake with them a »ujply of oxygen, and they oan eat their mealn quite «XMH furtably. The inventor w M. after whom the boat i« named. in (ten. Hicklea' life reunited in the death of Philip Barton Key. am told, wa* brought aVKKit bv another uian'n de*ure to avoid gM ing c*»nnsel to a friend. When (ien. Bicklet found out his a ife'« faithles)* ne«Mt he went to Hamne! Butter worth, then a prominent public man, to week advioe. He told Butter worth what he knew and a*ked what he ought to ck a* a gentleman to protect his Ito&or. "Yon know yoaraelf, as a gen tleman of honor, what to do." waa But terworth's r®ply. intended to be eva live. The General, however, took it to mean that he muwt kill key, which he did Tim property of law that 1*0,000 men in the United Rtaien aggregate* more than the total poeseaakms of the balance of, *av, 59,W0,)00, if ire call the preaent {topulation t»»».(t00,000. lu the State of Michigan, to use a "ingle illustration, one two-hundredth part of Ui« population own* HI per cent, of the real eatate valnations, and thi» i» a better showing than many Bta^ make Ten tbonsand people own liaar ly the whole of New York City with it* 2,000,000 people. The entire bonded debt of the United Htatee i» held by 71,000 peraoaa only, and over 60 per of it ia in the hands of raigued in a Pari* court for the forty atglith time on a charge of lrunkennea* and aaked w hat excuse lie had to offei explained that he had taken to drink to console himself for hi« own death. When warned not to trifle with the. court He pulleil from hi* (mcket a paper showing that he was recorded aa hav ing )»eeu killetl in August. 1870, at a battle near Forbaeh. He said that he thought it a pity If a man who had IKMUI killed in fighting for his country fould not take an ei.tr* drink now and then, and begged the court not to lie hard upon a poor man who was dead He had to submit to a sentence of eight days' imprisonment neverthe who is an author, a doctor an artist actress. After breakfaat in tin ia«. she spends a couple of hours over the manuscript of the story or essay which she ku|s been employe*? to write From 10 to 2 she practice# medicine, and receive* patient* in her "office."" 8he next work* at her eatse! as a paint er until H, and make# picture*, for which she finds buyers. After dinner and an tour's rest, ahe betake* heraelf to the theater, when ahe plays the light part for which ahe may i»e sat down in the caat Heaides all this, she is a mother, and kaows how to make her own clothe*, and understand* how to ttae her income from all her profee aaons. And there are men who talk oi the inferiority of the with their ova. Da 8T*LLWA«*, tJh oculist, dariug the course of a recent lecture at Vienna, related the follow ing story of Doaa Pedro of Brazil. He said that one of the Emperor's dearaat w inltes had been to have a big limpital at liio, but that he lacked the money wherewith to build it, and the wealthy people could not be induced to sub scribe. Then an idea came to him. a» it had to the Oerman Emperor Joeeph a century ag?o. H» Wgan to grant life peerage* to all persons who were will ing U »ub*crib»* good round snms to ward the hospital The i«ateut* of Count. Viscount, and Baron were r«» herwbtarv »nd if the children wished to inherit their father'** title thev had to pay for it afratfh. Brazil be«am«! peofded with noble*, and toe hospital was built on a grand scale. When it waa completed, Docn Pedro had the following inscription placed on its '"Vanitan Hnrnaaa tin VKOI'ND THE CAMP-FIRE W»LDIKMI T41.K OTHB JKS'K* MSIt HP%*A at i hr lnt«r«i(tii| i-ta* IMS Ird lh «Hm?f*r i»l«i wmiu, bv Hit' th«f|aMk lilit+r hk- *n I wmrry «ur'i c»n.l' v htktl.t: aaati mm -Hully W*fr in KWitl thr cut «#llt iituitwrfm Quick SB r»•»!•» military Mwn-boriit wttb IMMMU* HUIOO»)i«I IMW! »KV». W»4 *I "I H. H*I, mn tine r. In, Nanitarv lo surh i h.«N it rtruegJ*# oa fill tb«- front vea Ttm tlw «*r, jourrw* ttamm, l4' ttat rmr v And wbM ty nmttlei f» s lit«M' er* i u», lirotlwi. rrt* il*— H*v» u« M*nit«rv Oash tte work fb» I'banUna ftii Wrspjwd MHtta clouds ttMkt rj But th« i.rsif -iving my**, iu») vt»U'U«rt. Mm th* *«i«w •wtag wUI*. as* pmrtmd throug »uMM* Isar i»m *t»km to ttouiMt wborMs: Ha*« lu H*ultary f* BT J. BIOOS, 7TTB Hit IN O a -^riodof al ost two ».Mfcra IH61 ••It V ic k s urg was le of the on federate i o o holds, and, y with her wa e l»etter- alto re h*'*vv Nitige gkitiH plant «1 along the cliffs, frowning down upon the waters of the great Mississippi, bade defiance to the army ami navy of the Federal Government. Early in the winter of *0*J, while yet this mighty river waa blockaded frota Mem phi* to New Orleans, an army of .'Hi.iiOn men, under General Sherman, was organised and hurled against this Fwerful fortre*H. I U• thi« time the mou army had met with a great maov defeats, and the people of the Kortli were getting quite anxious as to the final outcome of the conflict. While the people of the North wanted to see a move made against Yieksburg. they wrrre-aW~fea*ini-af. Liu. rtisuilliL ni*»_.. •aid it was »t nnglv fortified that it would l»e imixwsible »o take it while other* believed Utat under pro)»ei gen eralship, it might be taken. Aecor»l ingl v alsmt the 1 Tth of 1 December. iHtiH, this cxpeditKJii. comprising about (MXi men, eml»arke«l in rivet steamer* a* transports, well guarded by iron clad gunboats, steamed down the river to the month of the Va^oo Thev then filed left and ran up to near Haines' Bluff, which wa« at that time the nortli end of the strong fortifications in the rear of the eit\ The troojw di harked, formed in line, »tacked and laid down for the night, Thi- I** gan to seem like business, for many of us had enlisted but a few month* lefore. and had never yet been in lattle, and uow the few hour* that should inter vene l»etwe*«n our lvmg d"wn for rest and going into l»attle gave UH ample time for reflection Wc thought of the dear ones at home the father of his dear wife and children, the young man of his father and mother, his brother* and sisters, and his sweetheart as well The. (MMMiliility that we might the next day lie numttered among the slain ot severely wounded were thought* which naturally occupied ur mind* and, al though it seemed a Witting time for solemn thoughts, yet many of the boy* seemed jubilant and full of life About four oYloek in the morning of the MKh we were all startled by the rm*rt of heavy »iegeguus shelling the «%KI* The reveille wax then sounded, aoU after roll-call and a hurried break fast the army wa* commanded to fall into line, right face, and march to within a few hundred yards of the ene 111y t»rks, where they were then formed in line of battle The ball now opened in earnaat. Fotir day* of hard fighting, heavy loe* to the Union force*. vmeed Uncle Billy that he was not ejii*l to tlie emergeucy, oon*e|iieutiy ou he night of ,1 an 1 IJMVI, he with drew from the ncene of action, marched back to hi* transports, re embarked, and steamed down the Yasoo jtaat in time to "save his bacon." This must have been to him a «a4 day a sorrowful thought for up to time I nele Billy Sherman was considered one among the als in the Unite.! Slates. Thus, having leen disappointed thwarted in his plans for ue capture of Yieksburg, the General now turned his attention northward, steamed back the Mississippi Kiver to the month of the Arkan*a*. thence up that river to Arkansas Post, which he capttned with its garrison, and then returned to Mil likens Betid, a point abont six miles up the river from Yieksburg Hera the army disembarked and oecu the ground In-tween that pla«*e VoangH Point three miles l»e)ow. General Sherman's aervMse* now i«eing r«K)uired elsewhere, be was called awav and General McClernand t«)k hi* placei' Here the troop* i enauncl until alwrnt the first of May. during which time they had been joined by enerml Grwnt, W1K» began at ottee laying his plan* for the downfall of the doomed city. Nearly three decatle^ have passed awav ume the occurrence of thi^ eaui paign, and yet Iwm vividly to the uindv of the old veteran* who set sur vi* e do the sceneH of thme action* cone up The long weary w«ekn and nwmths' that i »xwd awn while the army Uy at Millikto's Bend and _Yonng'« Po'int, V'., jwr nt w of chronic diarrhea, the ruction 4 the canal acro#« the peninsula, the running of tht blockade at V'jcksburg the forced march to Orand (iulf. some sixty or seventy miles Itelow the naval engagement and the runiang o! the blockade :»t that oitv the crossing of the tver al«ut seven mile® lielo* the capture of Fort Oibson and the complete rout of the enetfiv. the chase from that uoint np the liver on the east side, witn «w*ca»» ton*] fighting, the laying of the siege and tinallv the surrender bv (ien Pen, tx'rtou• all these things* and more are -till treah in the uuud» of everv I'DI II soldier who still lives and pamcipated ia this expe«litioii Manir of us have since IR»^GEIL out a ALLOCABLE EXINTT'IICE «HJ *c«' nit of wound« and di«eas«*» con tra* ted in the army, and manv of us, like myself, are BOW languishing upon bed- of sickneas, aad u the iaogtugu of tlie )Het are Fa*I um sway lik* UM stirs af the aMtttaa, Lu.itiii titter ltsbt to ik gb)riou« mu r. for«v«r r«to«itib«r«d, wWI#» the «Mri tm (*CT S*sr fxi^uilwr R*«t r*m»inl»r*il Bnt now k* our story We back to Youngs Point ana give it detail, that our readers may be the better able to understand it. The time had now «t»mc when (Jen. Orsut had de**ide«l move forward cone.|iiently. as we have already stated, the canal had been dug acrtww the f»emrisula about three milex west of the -ity, the object of which was to ran the blockade, bnt thi* had proven a failure Ho there was nothing left hiiii bnt to face the nm*ic ami take his chance* on running his transport* with his supplies through the blockade. Thi* was accomplished by first loading an old condemned barge with boxes and Imrrel* HO an to ninke it as con*pi« OOUK a« fiosMible, and on one dark night thin boat wa* sent adrift to float at will down the river which it did nobly (he enemy opening fire upon it a* soon at It hove in sight around the bend, but proudly and noblv she wax borne on the itsafongthe enrrent on a downward course until ahe had passed out of range of the last battery, and alth •ugh every available ii had been brought to bear U|M»I tliam boat, but little if any harm w* done, if my memory serves me right This test trial Wing aocoinpli*h ad which gave our lioatmen con rage, it wan then decided to rn8 our transjsirt* tbrough, which immberetl aUmt ten or a dozen which was accomplished by running with as little light a- tio«sitht, each boat keeping its proper distance, UoinelcHidy as jKmsible hugging the oje oosite shore, until the last transporta Bad passed out of the range of the rel»el guns, which had done their utmost to destroy our fleet Upon a*&minatioti it wan found that little dtiinage was done thi* was joyful news to onr Imys. The river wax now clear as far a* Grand 4 MI If Part of the troops had already gone, and ikiw that oui iTft" run the blockade, by order of our great commander the remainder »f the army took up it* line of march southward to firand Gulf. This march wan attended with great difficulty on account of heavy rains and deep mad. onr artillery being able to make but very few miles each day. However, a* tinaa moved on and tain tecatne las* fra jnent the roads dried tip, and the ar tillery was now enabled to go al*ove ground and hurried on, so that the lat t«r end of thia march to Grand Gnlf was ahoeried one. Consequently, when the head of the army had reached the point below Grand Unlf where the flftMsing was to lie made, the middle Mir of the army, which had l*een back to guard artillery and sup ptv trams, was now ordered forward with all |s»»sible *]eed, whidi made it indeed forced march, so much so that we were «xinpell*Hl to march dav snd night often through heavy rams, with ao covering but our j*neho blanket* for tlie night, and with very little rest an til we reached the point. As the regiment to which I belonged ap proached the citv, we arrived at a )oint up the i iver about three mile-., where W% ha«l a fine view of ua«al engage- Iwtwcen our gunlioat* and the v's artillery along the shore. Tliis done by the gunbout« forming a at a pro|er thstance from the batteries and moving round and round. When each gunboat came with her broatlside to the enemy she fired every shot she w an able to, aad moved on to let the next one do lik* wiee. until the day waa finished Thi* done, it was an easy matter to ran th« blockade that night under cover of darkne-.*.which wax aceoanpliahad wilk vary little damage The running of the blockade lA Viaksburg on the night of the 2t*th of April. 1863. which was »ifnesse*} hy i large jsirfton of the arm*. w ill evar be rememl«»reid by the old boys a* one of the grandant soenes they ever witner^ud. The xhrill M-remning of •olid ohot*. the bursting of )ofhb'»)ieD* ia tht? air and the inoessant roar of eaniMMi nntil the last boat had pawtad out of reach, all combined to render it a grand *cene in the darkness and an exciting moment to the I uion forces. To our great surprise, after the trans ports had Wen landed, it was discov mred that little damage had been done. The worst, and al*mt the only, dam age of consequence that we heard of which 1 had the privilege of witnessing mvself wa* that causetl by a solid shot wfiicb passeti through the whe«*| house of the steamer Pcwaiiontas and killed horse* which were standing in in that part of the boat. that our tranM|*rt* with sap* plies were out of danger, the next dav wa* spent in crossing the Thirteenth Army Corps, umlei ••ominand of Gen aral .John A Mc "lernund, who landed his force* at Bruuwburg, aliont stiven mdaa below, and at once took up his line of m^rch eastward toward Port Gibson, but before reaching that point, on the morning of May I, we were in tercepted by the enemy, who fought tin like tiger?* si ring that whole day- tied range and 1 Noi While General Grant life way down the river on the side to a point where he could effect a crossing, the Confederate General Pam berton, who (vmimand«si the force* at \i»kburg. wan not asleep but «ida^ awake to the CSSUIM* hich he had as with his anay.oit tba V. 1 east aide of the river, kept pa©e with the Union forces in fmiet to confront them at the earliest p»**ihle moment. Thus we have it that upon the firat da? of May thi* I tattle occurred fcarly on the morning of the 'id th# Union force* moved forward in line of battle, expecting evxrv moment to be engaged But to onr mirptne we sotm learned that the John nie«« had "ske^l daddled" out of Port Oilieon and re treateii bat-k toward* Vicksbnrg but thev did not fonjet to burn the bridge at f'ort (iibson aT0*« a small nver, the name of which I have forgotten, thus compelling our force* to bnild a pontoon bridge liefore we could pro ceed. This was, however, completed then s by the middle of the afternoon In the meantime (General McPheraon, his Seventeenth Corps, came up. ing these ojeration* our IXJVS were not idle, but were busy inspecting the city, and among the curiosities found was a bank, which they went through, tilling their pockets with Confederate nwney. Home of the bills had leen Hlbnl out, but most of them were tlank. A great portion of this money wan afterward* paused back to the Confederate* in ex change for greenliacks liefore the crowing could be made and onr army had time to cut off the retreat of the euemy at Oraad Gulf, it was discov ered that they had evacuated that city and joined their comrade* in their re treat back to Yieksburg, thus leaving Grand Gulf la DM kanda of tin Ualmi General Grant had thas succeeded in capturing those two point* and waa fairly on hi- way to Vicksbnrg yet ha had not his forces as concent rated and his supplies as near at hand as he wished, so decided to call a hall, which he did after about two days' march. Here in camp we remained about three or four days, during which we w ere re enforced by the'J' fteentli Corps, undet command of ieneral Sherman, and at the aame time a goodly snppfcr of am munition had been brought up from Graud Gulf by onr supply train. By this time our rations had run pretty short, consequently we were 4»m|Mkllad to subsist chiefly on what we could find by foraging through the couutry •aid a theiv )isd never l«een an army in this part of Dixey the foragbig was pretty good. It was while we were in this camp that good story was told on Gen. A 3. Smith It appear* that two of the boy* who had l»een out foraging killed some porkers Each man slung a pi£ upon his shoulder, and with sturdy steps they were soon lagging them to camp. On their way it was necessary for tn em to ia*s near division head qu*rterH. and while they were ma king their way as bent thev could some lit tie distance apart. General Smith stepped out of his tent as if to crosn their }«th. As the first one came up the General ac-oted him thus: "What are you going to do with that 4 in a kind of timidated, whining tone ^"1 don't know I will do ith it throw it hardly w "Throw if down, sir then said the ener*l. J'retiently the other and the General put the General Gown went the iig. The turned to hi* orderly, who by. and said: "Orderly, take that pk to oaap know what to do with It. Whal aro yoa 8«r?w The yonng soldier, with all |»erior officer tnrnad who stood before him and aaid "1 am going to eat it, air! the 1 do vou suppose I a do with it?"* "All right, sir all right." tieneral Smith, tarsia about, walked hack to hi* tent, while the soldier went on hi* way rejoicing. although a private ic dignity or a su to tha General, in foil uniform, What in going to It appears that this was character iatic of General Smith although at times he apjMS»aml harsh arid crnel with his men, he was a man with a heart and of a noble spirit, and at Much times thought more of a soldier who would turn upon him and "aass him back" rather than to have him go off with lu* head down as if he was afraid to call his soul his own. He thought the latter would make the best soldier. Haw****, NMfc a at. as y. IK day that Oaneral her man started around Atlanta the ourth Army Corps op|»ed in the rear of ue Fourteenth Corj*' orks The Qmfed eratc- ?«ent a line of s k i i s e s o u a s fir-tiers, !_• ii. icertniu the whcrealtouts »f tlie Federals, at the same time throw ing some sixty-four pounders over the work* into onr camp, which caused us to keep our eves ojrns. We soon got the range ami conld see the missile* ooming, and could tell about where they would light. The Confederate skirmishers came on unmolested, and kept firing into the woods, expecting an answer Tlie word to fall in was given with the word charge, and we ran up the hill ami through the woods, right ch»e to the heels of our enemy Over the work* they went head over heels Some kept on running, some laid behind the works, some laid down be hind stumps, some came back to as with outstretched arras and surren dered Four regiments were now fir ing into the Wwildered Confederate*, who were skulking close to tlie ground. All at once a strange-looking man, with out weapon* or equipage of any kind, put in an apjtearance, a* if he had come up out of the ground, and with in twenty-five feet of the Thirtieth In diana, with form erect walked nearly a mile into his own lines. Wearly twp thousand aoldkyr* fired at turn from one to four shots apiece but he never wavered nor looked back once. We could tie iitrt fly a!I sround him, and yet went safel\ back to hi* own lineajjron! J^hence tl'j W A V. 1 V. vi •t/f 4 A Uk TMKWK with. Dnr *1 .4, WibK A.Nii paid for,. CHKHTM-T burs, lika fall o)ienirtgs A rrw *tiff ftorwi will make timid man a pugnacious hull are art ait to worship what ire are a|»f to w» mlla*f *nil •—WW*** f'h iKKniFJ eaalli is uo work at all for hit i ti#s, 5 ara trving timaa for me. waa what the cook said aa she stood fhm the lard keg. LoHli how yon make me jump as the grasshopper remarked when, ka was first, created. Ttir Miualt tioy ramarkad that .|m» would like his teacher batter if fen* (Mi* ing passion was not so striking. "Hi'v a master of the fine arts," mat the manner in which a culprit who had junf j»ai«l financial jenalty referred to the judge. u*ed to make' J? the w*y, are von fond of jams "Ve* everv kind Wt one." "What is that?" "It's first name ha^ e recognized ftiii* othel V.hoto of VOU, dear 4*ks kn careworn ami old." Vaa, that wa« taken when papa wouldn't boy me the Duke of Iirtwatar|" CCSTOMKK What* the ehaia*? Barlwr Thirty Cents, nifrty cent Why, I thought you charged only fifteen cents for a shave B. ea, PKssiitiaTio auditor (at a concert) Seems to me this i* a mighty *hort programme, «H»n»idering the price they charg«. Optimistic auditor ~Oh, wa can easily get the worth of onr moaoy. Just encore everything. W ATTH i HIIPPOSE y onr wife is Hk* most women never admite that ahe made a mistake Wickwire Oh, aha otHasionally asserts that mistake in marrying me. but she admit* that outside the family. "1 Mu the prisoner at the bar yon in the altercation?" asked the lawver. "No, Mir. ISMS," replied the dusky prosecutor, "he biffed me right Whiud de lef veer. Ef yoll jea' lean oWra little ways I kin sho' yo" da 'tact •pot." The lawyer didn't lean. "HrM!,* crietl the Irishman, "and Fai heir to a nplendid t^tate nnder «y father'n will. When he die*!, he ordered my brother to divide .the house with me and bv Ht Patrick, he did it -lor he tuck the inside himaelf, me the outside, "WfKu., my dear madam, and how yon to-day "Oh, Ifoctor. I have 4rt«Ur pettrs- -att over rrry wrbrrle body ant! it seem* impossible to breathe Of course, 1 can sleep all and I have •ot a particle of appetite.!" "But other wise yon feel all right, don't yon-,H ME. GOOIK ATCH Tcalling on the elder •ister i Whv Johntn how you are growing, Von'11 be a man Itefore your sister if vou k»«ep on. Johnny You l»et 1 will Sister 11 never be a roan if she kee^w on Wing twenty like ahe ha* for the past five vears. i Than thara v a« trouble iu the household. "Do ror think your sister likes ma. Tommy?* "Ye*. She sb»od up for yoa at dinner." "Was anylasly Maying any thing against me"'" "No, nothing much Father aaid lie tlmnght you were a gistd deal of an ass, but sis right uo and said yon wasn't and told father he ought W» know better than a man by his looks." •UK WAS VMLUKti. "JM tflr* to g+% .t'amtlv lint roum ui»ti aU, •fllViinml.nj for what ahe irtnl h|a^ A» nlM't vl pot#*»ii lirr ti« *4. to i-ourt *»4 win yoa," (b#tMM ymiiM ibsii •f w*m to p*v yi»ri c.iurt n« laid. Aim) to y«?u. If I f-a *|h, Vi»u my |M»rmiMloa, If thai. Is all vou »»crttirt Mid try I I dou't tbltik r"« Jl £l darter* V? Said a pretty girl to the writer yea terdav "Tliree of us {ptrl* happened to Iwi at mv houne one night w hen I read an article in a n©wKpa|*»r that a yellow garter on the left limb meant an en .gageinent in aix months, and gtsxl luck -ever after. So we three decided to wear them. We put them on the next •night The *i* months will W up to morrow and not one of u* has become engaged. As for the good luck which if is supposed to bring, let me tell you of mine. Dariug the si* months of ei peetancy I have fiad a fearful caae of 1* grippe I have fallen and sprained my ankle I have Ijteen cut by the young man 1 liked best I wa* thrown off a nor*#- and badtv braised, and fot the last week have had an ulcerated tooth. To m»rrow the yellow garfei will have to go I'd rather die an old maid than differ all the unlucky thing* it has brought me while waiting for a man. The yellow garter is a traiul It requires too great a stretch of imai? ination. That'^ali,** heartiey Nrhy. Mnlerpriae. Twr prineipla a# HN wliich may be de*rriWd as a small self registering windmill, lias been ap plied to a device for indicating h.f"," Mpeed of vessel*. The cup .'iruo-d, io cl, protected as much as pos*ibb is plaoed under the keel of the amidships, and ita motion i* imparted. k» a vertical shaft panning npwaitl to jtoint on the dts'k, where the nnmbe»|r of ravolntions cauaad by tha vessel*"^. through tered on a dial THBBE i*. a grv»wing tendency amon chemists to regard 'the el-nents varying arrangemimt* prodaoaa successive stages in the prtceas cooliug ot one original form of evidence in favor of the hypothesis i-|. claimed the fact that some elementi seem not to formal in the «n,u while yet mom hotter *taf«. ,s Won** y im *n»r® plnok* hi never afraid of the '"P wm Sir' i n'^ •4 man. overheail 1