The Topeka State Journal (Topeka, Kansas)
March 16, 1908

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THE TOPEKA DAILY STATE J OURNAL MONDAY EVENING, MARCH 16, 1908. mm mm joiirml By I'RASR P. MAO LENNAX. Entered July 1, 1876, e"d1"" matter at the postoffice at Topeka, Ju, uncer tne act 01 coi-rcaa..i VOLUME XXXY No- 65 Official Paper City of Topeka. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Dally edition, delivered by carrier, 10 cents a week to any part of Topeka. or suburbs, or at the same price in any n oe towns where the paper has a carrier system. tttat By mall, one year Ey mail, three months Saturday edition of daily, one year... l-w VfiUCPHONES. ni!M Office Jrtl W Business Office Reporters' Room Be" Reporters' Room Jhd. Frank P. MacLennan 1- U0 PERMANENT HOME. Topeka State Journal building, 800 and 02 Kansas avenue, corner of Eighth. New York Office: Flatiron building, at Twenty-third street, corner Fifth avenue and Broadway. Paul Block, manager. Chicago Office: Hartford building. Paul Block, manager. WIAj LEASED WIRE REPORT OP THE ASSOCIATED PRESS. The State Journal Is a member of the Associated Press and receives the full day telegraph report of that great news or ganization for the exclusive afternoon publication in Topeka. The news Is received In The State Jour nal building over wires for this sole pur pose. Chicago's superintendent of parks declares that macadam roads are deemed by automobiles. He says that the tires tear the stones loose. Everybody In this section of the country is strongly in favor of the proposition to consolidate the pension agencies provided the united agency is located here In Topeka. Kansas City, Mo. makes another bid for fame. It is the home of a factory that makes circus wagons. It must be a big establishment for It makes more than enough for home consumption. Everyone In Shawnee county seems to be enthusiastic over the prospects for a big fair to be held in Topeka this fall. Let them show their enthusiasm in a substantial way by subscribing to the fund which will be necessary to aid in financing it. It took a Pennsylvania jury six hours to arrive at a verdict finding the grafters, who robbed the state in the equipment and building of the new capitol, guilty. Ordinary men, who have followed the case, would have arrived at the same verdict in six minutes. This sudden visit of spring or sum mer, whichever you choose to call it, has called the children to all sorts of outdoor amusements. The girls are Jumping the rope and hop-scotching while the boys are gathering In the elusive marbles and bruising their fingers with balls. I Rev. P. J. Maveety told his Metho dist brethren the other day that in the Bible and the speller lies the means whereby America is to make good citi zens of the foreigners who come to this country. That's probably quite true, but the trouble lies in getting the ma jority of the forelgrners interested in these books. When one gets down to final essen tials It is the conditions of and on the farms that operate an accurate barom eter on the world of trade. Experts on business affairs report that the good weather for the farm work which is now prevailing in the great agricul tural sections of the country makes the trade outlook more cheerful. Cyrus Iieland Is something of a political prognosticator. He declares that Mr. Taft will receive the Repub lication nomination for president on the first ballot. A prediction from Mr. Leland on who will receive the Re publican nomination for governor of Kansas when the primary ballots are counted would be more interesting. j Commendation Is due to the school authorities of Lawrence for the prompt manner In which they have un dertaken plana to make the school buildings as safe as possible. Those trusted with the welfare of the school children in other cities of the state would do well to follow this example. And Topeka should be among the first. About the limit of buffoonery in the halls of congress has been reach VJ. Representative Watkins of Louisiana entertained on Thursday with an original poem of the satirical order on the chances for tariff revision. As has been intimated before there is con siderable vaudeville talent among the national legislators but they are hardly in the proper field for Its exploitation. i Maryland is the one state that has rolled back the prohibition wave in the south. A general local option measure was killed In the lower branch of the state legislature the other day. Cardinal Gibbons, the noted prelate of the Roman Catholic church, is given credit for having had much to do with the defeat of the measure. He came out for a high license measure on the ground that prohibition does not prohibit. An Imperial ukase has been issued by Tsar Ban Johnson of the American League to the efTect that vigorous root ing in the way of deafening noises on the part of the fans will not be tolerat ed this year. If a similar edict is pro mulgated for the Western association by its eminent autocrat, Doc Shively, how will Councellor Harry Larimer get a the exuberant energy he has stor ing up during the winter? If Robert Good, the editor of the Jamestown Optimist, will only move to Tnneka he can get anything he wants at the hands of her people flattered people to be sure. He says that the remea here are pretty without ezcep tlon and that the men are clean, well dressed, intelligent loking fellows who appear to be proud of their women folk. Sure we're proud of them and we wish the English language was ex pressive enough to clothe Mr. Good with proper characterizations. He cer tainly is a most discerning gentleman. "t'L'TUKES." "Sixteen years ago congress came near passing a measure for the sup pression of professional speculation in wheat, cotton, and other agricultural products by the suppression of sales for future delivery where the seller did not own the property at the time," says the Chicago Tribune. "The pro ducers said then, as many of them do now, that the value of their products was hajnmered down by the operations of the shorts on the boards of trade and exchanges. There was a decided majority in each house of congress for the legislation the farmers desired, and if the session had lasted only a few days longer there would have been a law whose workings would have set tled once for all the question whether dealings in fuutres' were inimical to the interests of the farmers. The at tempt to obtain legislation was renew ed in 1904, but less aggressively than in 1892, and until this year there has been no serious effort in that direction. "There should be no slapdash legis lation about a subject of so much im portance There is an indication that there will be none in the expressed in tention of the house of representatives to require the department of com merce to find out to what extent the prices farmers received for their prod ucts have been affected by future de livery transactions on the boards of trade. Dealing in futures as far as wheat Is concerned came into vogue about forty-three years ago. The statisticians o fthe department of com merce will have to do much figure work. "But congress will need more than a great mass of figures to enable it to legislate intelligently. The department of commerce may draw certain conclu sions from the figures it compiles, but congress should have exhaustive hear ings at which representatives of all who are for or against the. proposed legislation could state their views. The producers who say they are injured by 'futures should be heard. So should manufacturers, who would often find it impossible to make contracts for the future delivery of goods if they could not insure themselves against loss by going into the speculative market and buying raw materials to be delivered in the future. "The men who have spent their lives on the produce exchanges and know how much of the business trans acted there is legitimate speculation and how much sheer gambling should be given their innings. So should the political economists, who hav.fi no per sonal Interest in the question and whose views are entitled to special re spect for that reason. Congress should also familiarize Itself with the legisla tion through which other nations or American states have endeavored to cure the evils of speculation and should ascertain how that legislation has worked. "If congress shall decline to act un til It shall have Informed itself fully and studied all the phases of an intri cate problem, there assuredly will be no legislation this year." TIME AND CRIME. If it be true, as is often affirmed. that in lean years men are more prone to seek surcease of sorrow in the consolation which religion affords than they are in fat years, it is also true that, pricked by the nettles of business depression, they are disposed to look with extreme leniency upon questionable practices which are sup posed to have contributed to prosper ity. For instance, it is safe to say that to a considerable extent the New York Sun accurately represents the sentiment in commercial circles when It deplores the government regulation of railroads and maintains that the fate which has overtaken railroads in England and other foreign countries because of such regulation awaits our own transportation companies. According to the authority men tioned the English railroads have made no substantial progress during the past forty years, while with us, until a halt was suddenly called, there has been incessant improve ment. The Sun holds that It is de plorable that the conditions which have conduced in America to highly beneficial results should be changed in compliance with temporary suspen sion of public reason, and contends that "twenty years more of liberty would have made a great difference from the point of view of science, of pride and of national respect." Rail road earnings need not be considered here, of course. Procrastination has lone since been counted among the besetting sins, and almost everybody, looking back upon a merry, care-free and rather care less past and apprehensively looking forward to a somewhat forbidding strait-laced future, sorrowfully con templating reformation, that Is, has yielded to the temptation to beg for more time. Some have asked for only a few more minutes in which to mend their ways and break themselves of their bad habits; others have de manded a year or ten years; -the Sun wants twenty years. At least, it is persuaded that if the railroads could have twenty more years in which to pursue their, activities, twenty years of the freedom they were enjoying before the government stepped in and insisted upon honest management and obedience to law, we would then be so proud of our achievements and so wealthy, perhaps, that we would be perfectly willing to turn over a new leaf. Early in life this longing for more time takes possession of us. The boy petitions for more time in which to begin to go to school or weed the gar den and for more time between les sons; and when he arrives at man's estate he must have more time to meet his notes and other obligations and to prepare for the future world. 'Just a little more time and one more opportunity loom large on occasion "Let me take my time," said the late j outspoken Mr. "Red" Leary who as- j sisted In the looting of an eastern in stitution of savings, "and give me one more crack at a bank I know, and I'll give bonds never to take another penny that doesn't belong to me from now till my dying day." JOURNAL ENTRIES It is mighty easy to lose- sight of people who work in a rut Universal peace will never prevail unless trial marriages are adopted. There's little danger of women ever assuming men's clothes. They're not expensive enough. When you get into deep water it is well to keep your mouth shut, but few people do. Sympathy goes out to the woman whose husband' dies just after she has cured him of all his bad habits. Many men say they play poker for fun but admit that It would not be much fun if there was not a little betting. JAYHAWKER JOTS Humboldt has organized a Y. M. C. A. with a membership of 235 and these men have already raised a building fund of $2,635. Some incendiaries made an attempt to destroy the "opera house" in Great Bend last week. The motive can be understood only by those who have seen the Great Bend "opera house." J. W. Hosklnson, of In man, has a four-year-old orange tree that Is now bearing its first orange. The orange is seven inches in circumference. There are many blossoms on the tree. There's a delectable dissertation in the current issue of the Yates Center News on pig hams. It's almost un necessary to state that the editor was the recipient of a couple from a friend ly farmer. A civil war of some sort Is imminent in Horton. The farmers in the sur rounding country are waxing warm In a discussion as to how many bush els of potatoes It requires to properly plant an acre. Alex Evans, a Creek Indian from Muskogee. Ok., has established a home at Junction City for the primary pur- pose of educating his two young sons. They'll be able to pick up a liberal education in that town all right. I Marie Red, a 6 year old girl of At- tlca, had a needle removed from her knee tne otner aay in tne wicniia hospital. It was located by means of an X-ray photograph, and had been in the child's knee for about a week. J. G. Wolf, of Atchison, has a Bible one hundred and seventy-five years old. It was evidently a family Bible as a number of births are recorded in It. One birth is recorded as far back as 1733. The book was turned in at his second-hand store. David Leahy points out that Ottawa, Lawrence and Seneca have murder mysteries to give the grocery store loafers something to talk about besides politics. Why does he snub IolaT Iola has as many as the other three to gether. A new telephone company has been organized at Cawker City and has about $7,000 capital already pledged. The new company is to be mutual in plan and will either install a new sys tem or buy out the company now do ing business there. When a man was whipping his horse In Wellington a bystander said he would like to whisper in the poor animal's ear just a few words. A friend asked what he would say. "Never mind what I would say, but if he took my advice he would kick the daylights out of that driver in about a second." An Emporia man paid 56 cents freight on ten pounds of paint material which cost him 14 cents at a mall order house, which the Emporia Gazette designates as "a fall order house." He had been offered the same amount of paint by an Emporia merchant for 20 cents, and is consequently B0 cents loser on the proposition. Serves him right. GLOBE SIGHTS. From the Atchison Globe. When a man does his best he will do very wen. It always looks funny to see a very un important man engaged In what looks to be a most important conversation. When a man becomes so good that he is patient with a woman, all the credit he gets Is people say he Is afraid of her. The unhappier a man's marriage is the more he warns other men against mar riage; the unhappier a woman s marriage, the more of a matchmaker she becomes. When people go to sit up with a corpse, they" spend the f iret half hour In talking of the virtues of the dead man; the rest of the night they spend in talking of worldly subjects of every kind. "I don't mind lifting my hat to a wo man occasionally," observed a busy man the other day "but I object to doing it all day. That woman," pointing to a young lady who had just passed, 'was on the street all the forenoon, and here she is again the first thing this afternoon." This, so far as we know,-is the only oc casion for killing a rooster: When he crows In the front yard It means there is oompany coining. Every rooster who crows in a front yard should be killed, but don't kill him because he is a male. That is where the injustice comes in. Practical jokers twenty yeears ago used to give a rocking chair or a cradle to their young friends for weddim presents. The gift was taken in good part, and used before the year was out. There would be a great howl in society if such a Joke were pemetrated in these days. The habit of loafing soon grows on a man. The first day he is out of work he feels very wretched; the next day he does not find loaflns Quite so hard, and every day that goes over makes it that much easier foT him until it becomes a real hardship to work. After a man has loaf ed six months it is almost impossible to make him keep In the harness any length of time. POINTED PARAGRAPHS. tFrom the Chicago News. A soft answer catches a soft person. Some men would rather be followers than leaders. The next day a man wonders why he let It worry him. A willowy maid is a skinny girl with an obese bank account. Many a woman advances step by step" until she becomes a step-mother. Many a man's reputation for wisdom is due to his ability to keep his mouth shut Listening to the average man's troubles is almost as bad as listening to his jokes. A young man seldom discovers that he Is In love until the girl In the ease puts him next. No man's life is one grand, sweet song If he Is married to a woman who only thinks she can sing. Sometimes a woman is unpopular with her neighbors because she never does any thing that they can gossip about It pleases a man to be told that he Is in his prime, but say the same to a woman and her feathers begin to ruffle. KANSAS COMMENT MICHIGAN TWO-CENT FARES. The statement of Railroad Commissioner-Glasgow, just issued shows a somewhat remarkable justification of the equity of the Michigan two-cent fare law, which went into effect Sep tember 28 last, only a few weeks be fore the New York panic and cur rency stringency greatly demoralized business. Nevertheless the annual re ports, now on file in Lansing, show that tha aggregate of the passenger receipts of the Michigan railways, for the last three months of 1907, were a fraction of one per cent more than were they for the corresponding three months of 1906, when business of all kinds was under high pressure, and when the higher rates of fare were collected. Some of the roads, however, show a falling off in passenger re ceipts; but, as a rule, where this is the case there is practically the same falling off in freight receipts, indicat ing other causes than the two cent rate. The Grand Rapids Indiana and Pere Marquette roads show the greatest percentage of loss in passenger re ceipts a loss which Commissioner Glasgow attributes wholly to drop ping by these roads of the cheap ex cursion trains of previous years. On this point he says: It Is safe to say that had either of these roads followed its old custom in the matter of rushing for passenger business x by profitable excursions it would have shown a gain instead of a decrease in passenger business, not withstanding the hard times. The Grand Trunk shows an increase In passenger business of 6 9-10 under the operation of the new law and a gain of H 7-10 in freight business. The Lake Shore Michigan Southern shows a gain of 2 8-10 per cent in pas senger business and a decrease of 12 8-10 in freight business. The Michi gan Central shows a gain of 3 8-10 per cent in passenger business, while it has a decrease of 2 9-10 per cent in freight business. If Michigan railroads, under the 2 cent fare law, can make such a show ing during the fall and early win ter depression, what would have been the showing but for the wrench given to business by the flnanc'al crisis and depression Grand Rapids Herald. MAYBE ITS A PLOT. Is Bent Murdock mischievously trying to spread consternation In the ranks of newspaper men or ia he hitting off the truth In the following: "Can't take corwood. pumpkins or sorghum on subscription. The post office department decides that not only must subscriptions be paid in advance but they must be paid with money, not cordlwood. 'possums or yellow legged chickens." If this is really the situation it is very properly on occasion for serious alarm. It is frequently the donations of short cords of wood, unsalable pumpkins and the like in return of course for a subscription receipt that keep the editor alive and his body warm while he turns in every cent he can rake together to get the ready-print out of the express office. Is this a dark plan of the nabobs of the government to put the poor editor out of his misery? Leavenworth Times. FROM OTNER PENS NO TARIFF: REVISION. -."i. The determination of the Republican leaders In congress t to permit no kind of tariff legislation at this sesslo is politically and economically wise. The business conditions of the country call for quieting treatment, whereas tariff agitation, even in the mild form of a commission of investigation, Is disturb ing. The tariff needs some readjust ment, but it .should be readjusted to meet normal conditions. The time for this is when normal conditions prevail and not during a period of financial de pression. The manufacturers of the country are divided on the question of revising the present tariff- Many of them deny that there is any demonstrated necessity for any revision. The country has prosper ed under the Dingley act. It has proved itself one of the best tariff acts, if not the veTy best, the country has ever had. Then why change it? Why disturb the business of the country by even agitat ing its change? Would the correction of the few incongruities and imperfec tions which time has developed in the Dingley law pay for the disturbance in cident to a protective tariff agitation? What guarantee is there that the pro cess of change would limit Itself to re moving the defects in the present tariff and not destroy some of Its fundamen tal virtues? All tariffs should, from time to time, be revised and brought up to date. They are framed with a view to existing In dustrial conditions, and when these change materially the tariff requires readjustment. The time for such a change should, however, be well chosen. A period of financial depression and un certainty and the year of a presidential election should not have Its Inevitable complications and disturbances aggra vated by a tariff revision agitation. Philadelphia Press. ABSENTEEISM IN THE ARMY. It is Interesting to observe that the house military committee, in Its con sideration of the army appropriation act, has been making some Inquiries of leading army officers concerning the degree of absenteeism; that is to say the extent to which officers of the in fantry, cavalry and artillery are sep arated from their respective commands by the employment which la known as "detached duty." This Includes those assignments to duty with the special staff corps and the general staff, and it amounts In the aggregate to several hundred officers, whose places with the line it is proposed by the war depart ment to fill by a corresponding Increase in the commissioned personnel of the army. Some information has been sought by the house military commit tee concerning the wisdom of enacting legislation which will place restrictions upon the assignment of army officers to detached duty, and while the ad vice given the committee by represen tatives of the war department is not by any means clearly stated, it Is be lieved to be in favor of a limitation upon the period which line officers of the army may be absent from their troops. At present there is no such limitation. An infantry or cavalry or artillery officer may be with the pay department for four years, and then spend the next four years as a quarter master and the succeeding four years on the staff of a department comman der. In fact, there are several notable Instances of officers who have been away from their line commands for 10 or 12 years. In that time a line officer must necessarily forget much that he knows concerning his line duties, and when he returns to them after such a long absence, it must be appreciated that he resumes his tasks with the troops as one who is confronted by new responsibilities. Washington Herald. r, FRETFUL DAD. Don t worry pa, just now. I pray, Don t say a word to him just now; He 8 in no mood for idle play. Eicr row. Do not run up and down the stairs ici ulu iumer oe surpressed; For pa Is cross; today he wears A mustard piaster on hla chest. 'Twere well to leave him right alone. He's fidgety and apt to Iret; Don t speak above a monotone, Ti possible you may regret The consequences when he swears. He's in. no mood for idle jest; You must be good while father wears A mustard plaster on his chest Detroit Free Press. Maligned Public Men. It is doubtful if any public man ever was so cruelly injured by fantastic gibes as is Charles W. Fairbanks. fames G. Blame was made to suffer from the artist who lampooned him as the tattooed man. He lived down the lie and became his party's candidate for the presidency in spite of it. He was defeated In New York through an unfortunate faction fight and not through the merciless lie which had pursued him for years. Mark Hanna became most familiar to the country through the cartoons which pictured him Incased in dollar mark raiment. There was a time when nine people out of ten thought of him as an unscrupulous, purse proud parvenu. He lived down the lie, and died one of the most popular men In the United States. The people came to know him for what he was, bluff, hearty, honest, indefatigable, and a charming companion. President Roosevelt has never suf fered from the pictures of his big teeth, and the big stick, which was originated to do him injury, has be come his coat-of-arms, and in this sign he conquers. But Vice President Fairbanks was made the victim of an irresponsible scribbler, and to this day the great mass of people have accepted as true the fantastic falsehood, the origin of wnicn is so obscure that it can not be traced. How any man ever came to describe Charles Warren Fairbanks as the driver of an ice wagon, or as hav ing cold feet or as a sort of animated Jack Frost no one who knows him can comprehend. There are dozens and scores of men in public life to whom such a description might apply, but it certainly does not fit the vice president and never did fit him, so far as I can remember, and I have known him since he entered national politics, and known him intimately. Many public men have been the vic tims of some popular description, which has taken hold of the people. but in almost every case there was some excuse for it General Winfield Scott was called "Old Fuss and Feath ers." Contemporary history shows there was a good deal of reason for this, and the statue of the old general in the principal circle of Washington certainly bears out this Idea. Roscoe Conkling was called by somebody It may have been Blaine "Turkey Cock." The name was an apt one in many respects. Conkling had an undeniable strut, and I remember how it was commented upon when he led the Grant forces to glorious defeat in the Chicago convention of 1880. Tom Reed had in his manner the autocracy of an American czar. To those who had even the slightest claim to his intellectual friendship, he was a most charming companion, but he could freeze a bore into the lowest depths of insignificance and without the slightest apparent effort Governor Hughes of New York is a veritable north pole expedition all by himself when compared with the vloe president and, yet after all, the gov ernor's attitude is nothing but that of a studious college professor called upon to do big things under a magni fying glass. It Is Idle to attempt to trace the Ice house story applied to "Vice President Fairbanks. The last really great In diana public man, Benjamin Harrison, was frequently described as cold blood ed. He deserved the epithet to some extent From all I "can learn. Fair banks merely inherited this reputation That he does not deserve it everybody in Washington knows, .and everybody elsewhere in the country knows it who has ever come within the radius of his personality. If he has a fault, it is that "he Is too friendly, that he beams too much, and that his glad hand Is always extended. Raymond in the Chicago Tribune. How to Resist Colds. Medical science is now nearly unani mous In its belief that colds are ac-v.-. nfr.t1rm 1iiRt Ilka measles or scarlet fever. They run through schools and factories ana lamiues. Folk who lead outdoor lives and dwell in n vontiiateil houses are least sus ceptible to them if they do not under feed or overindulge in aiconoi ana 11 they do not pile on so much clothing that the splendid armor of the human skin is pampered and weakened. Plenty of cold bathing and exercise, light un derwear, free use of water inside and outside of the body and sleeping with wide-open windows will help to resist the infection. From the filthy street car, underheated and unventllated, there Is no escape for most New York ers, nor is it possible to avoid frequent exposures to the flying germ. But it is In everybody's power to furnish him self protection against the ravages of aerial disease breeders by putting his system into condition to repel the at tack. New York Press. Complying With the Law. The Louisville and Nashville railway announces its complete compliance with the command of the Hepburn act, that no railway shall own the coal lands whose products it transports. The method is simplicity itself the railway conveyed the lands to its shareholders as Individuals. The same persons own the railway and the coal lands now as before, and the letter of the law has been obeyed. This vindication of the majesty of th law is Impressive, and we await with interest the effect upon the price of coal and the rate of freight. If there should be no results, if the railway should still sell its coal at market rates, and should carry freight at schedule rates as before, we fear that the in terest In the working of the law will fade away, and those who hoped to ben efit from lower prices by statute may set up a cry that they are betrayed. New York Times. Sherlock Holmes Mettiod Improved. The French newspapers related the other day that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle arrived In Paris from Marseilles and Lyons. The cabman who brought him from the station to the hotel addressed him by his name. Sir Arthur was sur prised, and asked how he knew. The cabman replied that he had read in his paper that the famous Conan Doyle would come to Marseilles and Lyons, and he had observed at once that the stranger's hair was cut by a Marseilles barber, and that on the heel of his left shoe was dirt from Lyons. The novel ist was highly gratified to see that his "Sherlock Holmes" method proved so successful. The great detective mind then asked whether there was still an other symptom which had led to his recognition. "Yes," said the cabman finally "your full name is painted on your trunk!" Pall Mall Gazette. II r EVENING STORY 1 --1 The Week of Probation. (By Martha C. Sanford.) Dorothy's love affairs had come to a crisis. Three proposals In as many weeks put, literally, a full stop to her coquetry. A decision had to be made. So she composed a form letter, brief and noncommittal, and mailed a copy to each of the three anxious aspirants. It read as follows: xuy Dear Mr. Please do not coma tn uw mo iin for a week or until I give you permis sion. I am thinking things over. very cordially yours, DOROTHY BRETT. Not that Dorothy seriously meant to do any tall amount of thinking. The week of probation would save her all that trouble. The test would be sim ple enough. Of the one whose ab sence should make her heart grow fonder of that one. Dorothy would teei sure. She wondered dreamily j wny aii gins aid not resort to a solu tion so commendably automatic. It was so silly to allow one's self to be consumed for a prolonged period with nerve-racking doubts and feverish fantasies. All one had to do was to assume a passive frame of mind and wait. When Reginald Warren received Dorothy's laconic instructions,, .he laughed long and confidently.' "So Dorothy actually believes it's necessary to think it over," he' com mented. "Bless her heart, she shall be allowed that privilege, if she wants it As If there could be the least doubt" Right here Reginald broke off his soliloquy and whistled, for in sorting over his mall he had come upon an other envelope in Dorothy's handwrit ing. It bore the name of Mr. Robert Butler, but was addressed by accident to Reginald's street and number. Reginald balanced the letter tenta tively in his hand. "How many more. I wonder?" he asked himself. "Shall I forward it to Butler or return it to Dorothy?" In a misguided moment he decided upon the latter alternative. Dorothy was furious when the letter came back to her. She recognized Reginald's handwriting and immedi ately consigned him to the oblivion he deserved. How did he dare treat her slip of the pen humorously for that was what he had done, of course. She could tell it from the rollicking style of the penmanship. Had he been a gentleman, he would have forwarded it to Robert and spared her the hu miliation of knowing what a telltale blunder she had made. Robert Butler of course profited by his rival's hasty faux-paa temporari ly, that is. For, receiving no warning to the contrary, he continued to call upon Dorothy and found her so en gagingly gracious that his emotions soared once more to the point of -proposal. Simultaneously Dorothy's hos pitality fell to the freezing point ana the following morning she mailed Robert his delayed ultimatum. The week of probation went by with no word or sign from the third handle of Dorothy's overfull loving cup. This "unpardonable negligence" piqued her not a little. "Ned might at least have taken the trouble to find out if I really meant It," she argued with proverbially femi nine logic. "It's positive proof that he's indifferent Well, he'll find out that I can be indifferent, too. I'll write to 111 write to Reginald War ren this very night and tell him- She took up her pen with an air of determination. One beginning- after another was dashed boldly off,! read over with misgivings and finally dis carded. Reginald himself interrupted these spasmodic outbursts. "Oh, I was just writing to you, Mr. Warren," was Dorothy's more or less flattering welcome. "Dorothy my own," Reginald ex claimed jubilantly. She saw the gleam of happiness that lighted his eyes, and quickly drew her hand away from his ardent clasp "How did yotrdare to come before I had written to tell you? she asked de- lensiveiy. Reginald laughed easily. "Because I knew what you would write, dearest and the week of my en forced absence. -Is; up tonight, you know The amazing assurance of this lover struck' Dorothy dumb for the moment. It was as though the man's real char acter had revealed itself in a flash. He had taken her answer for granted. Dorothy's vacillating little heart grew hot with rebellion and prompted her to take recourse in very daring strategy. "I was writing to tell you that I am engaged to some one else, she nounced bravely. Reginald stared at her. Slowly the situation dawned upon him. "So Mr. Butler is the lucky man, then," he answered sneerlngly. "I did not realize that he was a rival until I got his letter by mistake. Doubtless that was your acceptance of him. Miss Brett, that I remalled to you. I shall certainly take pleasure In congratulat Ing him at my first opportunity. Good night. "No, no, wait!" called Dorothy, as soon as she could recover from the shock of this man's anger. But It was too late. "Heavens!" she gasped. "Suppose he announces my. engagement to Robert Butler 1" She rushed to the telephone and wait ed impatiently for central to get the number. "Ia this Mr, Butler? This is Dorothy Brett What! You recognized my voice the very first word? You were expecting me to call up?" Dorothy made a very little face. "Well, I Just wanted to tell you that I am encased to Ned Hamilton. What? You say he denied it this very afternoon 7 Well, you see I wanted to tell you about it myself i wny. tnan you, air. cutler. I'm sure we shall be. Come to sea me. Goodnight" Again Dorothy waited with the re ceiver close to her little pink ear this time with almost dancing anticipation. "Oh Ned, is this really you? Where have you been all this week? It seems a month. It s my own rault7 Well, Ned, could you possibly come over this evening? You can't? Got to take whom to the theater? Oh. your sister! Good ness! I thought you said Leicester somebody. Well, do find some one else to take her. You see I Just telephoned Mr. Butler that you and I are engag ed and That's what I said. En gaged! I had to. TJm-hum. Now hur ry!" Ned put on his "seven-league boots" and hurried. "Dorothy!" he gasped, when he reach ed her, breathless but happy, "do you really mean that I'm the lucky boy?" "Of course!" she answered, laughing at his boyish Incredulity. "Who else did you s'pose?" "Why, I don't know, dearest I guess I was a bit shaky about Butler and that Warren fellow. Warrens been r.nj.tin In fact that you a soon an nounce your .engagement to him." "The little beast!" exclaimed Doro othy, flushing. But her anger died down as suddenly as It came. "Oh, Ned, I'm so happy!" she whis pered for by this time Ned had her in his arms and was making up for lost time. "It was awfully risky of you leaving me alone for a whole week. she chlded. "I came very near accept ing Reginald Warren not more than an hour ago." 5 c&,4 1n.J t. 1 1 J a i "Out of spite," Dorothy added, rogu ishly. "Cause you didn't care enougk to come for your answer." "But you asked me not to come til you gave me permission," he reminded her. "Didn't you see the special postscript1 on the inside of the envelope on the flap?" v Ned drew the envelope from his pock et It had been cut open at. the top. He folded back the flap. "If you get very anxious." he read, "you needn't wait" v "Dorothy!" he exclaimed, kissing her rapturously, "if I had only known!" "Men have no curiosity," she sighed happily, "and no imagination. They lose a lot of fun." (Copyrighted, 1908. by the Associated Literary Press.) 3 HUMOR OF TNE JAY "Of course," said the tourist "you know all about the antidotes for snake bite?" "Certainly," replied the explorer. "Well, when a snake bites you what's the first thing to do?" "eur Philadelphia Press. Ephralm Washiiurton Parson Brown has opened an Intelligence ofd-ca. Eta don get you a Job for two dollars. Andrew Jackson Ans not gwlne to take a Job fur two dollars. Ah can -at married fur one." Judge. Cheops bad carved his name on every thing in sight. "Now," boasted he, "pos terity will know ms to be the real thing af-wfet "ir.J n 1 m 1 JU.WD VOjr us JUU 1UI UU1 leading five-cent cigar." Louisville Cour- lM.Tni..1 ICnicker What Is their social standard? Bocker Do they call It barn, stable or garage? New York Sun. What we need to restore confidence." said the speaker, "is to quit shrieking and put criminals In "But the shrieking you hear is partly from criminals who are afraid thev'll be put there," Interrupted a voice. Clearly ia snuaiion was complicated on oeing viewed from different ituiilnnliio Phila delphia Ledger. Tt Is a mistake said tha mn tn tha plaid suit "to say that we English do not enjoy a Joke." 'I should think." answered Miss C!v- nne, "that you would enjoy a Joks very uuu, l j j Hiuum. you sea one. Washington Star. "When you read about the way they are killing those beautiful birds down in Flor ida," said Mrs. Lapsllng, "you wonder how any woman can be so heartless as to wear a vinaigrette on her hati" Chicago Tribune. "Your son's studying medicine. Isn't he?" "Yes." "Army or Navy command V Life. Loan stein I got a tumble bad eoldt in my head. Isaacs Vhy don't you take somethings for it? Loansteln (aboentmlndedly) How much vlll you glf me? Puck. "When you graduate from that cooking school," asked Teas, "do you get a diplo ma?" "Sometimes," replied Jess, "you get a certificate for a postgraduate coursa." "A certificate?" "Yes, a marriage certificate." Philadel phia Press. Tommy Do you think It Is fortunate to be the seventh son? Mickey Now I'm the seventh son. Tommy But the fortune-tellers aay the seventh son has all kinds of luck handed down to him. Mickey Huh! All I have handed down to ms is me six brothers' old clothes. Chicago News. Scott They dramatize everything nowa days. Ill bet they'll soon be dram-tlstng the ad. columns. Mott Well, why not; aren't the ad. col umns juiti uw iio lvt b-ii situa tions? Boston Transcript Family Physician Now, there is noth ing wrong organically with your father. He needs rest, that's all. As for occupa tion, lex nun uu nm euv wmo vui neither tax his mind nor carry with it any responsibility. Son of tha Patient I understand, Dod. I'll get him on the board of directors of some trust company. Judge. "But why did you backslide?" "Because oi tne preacner. "How was thatrr "He painted the pleasures of the world so beaut4f ully that It made me homesick." Nashville American. "And you mean to say that football player kissed you?" exclaimed the Irate mother. "Yes, ma," replied the blushing daugh ter. "Why, the idea! Didn't I teH you tf he tried to kiss you to yell 'Stop!' as loud as yon could V "I I did, m, but he had on his ear guards and couldn't hear me." Chicago News. Mrs. Knlcker Doctors say that fur boas are unhealthy. Mrs. Bocker Yes. I have noticed that they give men cold feet New York Sun. Th Mmlidflte 'What arentlmfn in tha movingjspirlt of the age? The voice aonsi ojteicn. j t i r. RT-I certainly admire the oualitv of his Christianity. Joyce Why T s7 awn TvrAvad fiM1 hi riimlui. Philadelphia Tslegraph.

QUAKER PJEOTJSOTTONS. From the Philadelphia Record. v A promise Is almost as easily made as broken. Even the teetotaller may be bubblhur over with sniiits. Many an alleged mUUonlre has the air without the mfUlon. W bta ant to look out tnr tha man whose record will bear looking Into. Mo. Mude. dears there la no slmilarltir between a policy man and an lnsuranoe agent When a fellow marries a Ctrl for ha money he may be excused for calling her his traasurer. Wigg "Why do you call your manloui- glrl Destiny V Wagg "Because she shapes our snas. ShoDPing would b a bore to a woman If she didn't see a lot of things she couldn't afford to buy. Some people are such crank thai ti would sxpsct to find germs In tha milk of human kindness. Hook "Sklnnum boasts that ha Hull-tra in doing the greatest good to the greatest number." Nye "Yes, and he regard number one as the grea test number?' Blobbs "Has Guuslar ever bean traf for drunkenness?" Slobbs rrsated for drunkenness? Wny, man, the mora yo treat him the drunker he gets." "That young man doesn't saam t fired -with enthusiasm over his lob," re marked the Junior partner. "No. but he'll be fired before the week Is un added the senior partner. REEIOSSOPA BACHELOR. From the New York Press.) f W hn a mrnman Tnf1 4 f thing except what It seems to. an,f Nine times put of ten when a girl ni like you It's because her father does i --..w (awniaes llcin r better tralBe thenj A man can make a great deal mora rd l&TtoS&l "Cbitt ot -Smebody

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