The Saturday Evening Post 1906-05-12: Vol 178 Iss 46

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THE SATURDAY eh P O S rT > am Ar = Magazine PP nig all franklin MAY 12,06 cy . 5c. THE COPY

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| | THE SATURDAY EVENING PO Copyright,:906.by THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY Founded A°D' 1728 by Ben} Franklin Butered at the Phitedolekis Beat-Oliie in the United States and Great Britain as Second-Class Matter Published Weekly at 425 Arch Street by THE CuRTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY London: Hastings House,10,Norfolk Street. Strand,WC. Volume 178 PHILADELPHIA, MAY 12, 1900 ” ‘Since 40 | THE CASE OF MR. CARDEN rf camer By ROBERT W. CHAMBERS eee glanced at the \ 1 he had clock, touched an elec- 1} } pa tric bell, then, unhooking the receiver of ————- : ’ the tele phone, called up the Sherwood ! Studios and asked for Mr. Carden h Is this Mr. Carden Oh, good ‘ morning, Mr. Carden! This is Mr. Keen th l'racer of Lost Persons. Cou i make | convenient to eall Sa ! | f half an hour Thank you | } What Well peakir h | h that caution and reserve which we are Carde »bliged to employ in mak any prelin , ‘ inary statements to our clients, | think i " I] may safely say that you have ever ha reason to feel moderately encour: d 1 t You mean,” said Carden's voi , that you have actually solved the proposition ? i 1 tf i It has been a difficult proposition | Mr. Carden; | will not deny that it has | Y ‘ taxed our resources to the uttermost ‘ ‘ Over a thousand pe ple first and last, have been employed on this case. It t has been a slow and tedious affair, Mr } Carden tedious for us all We seldon ! ’ have a case continue as long as this has \ uc ic IS a year ago to-day since you placed | the matter in our hands What ? | I Vell, without committing myself, I j ‘ think that I may venture to express a varefully qualified opinion that the solu tion of the case is probably practically } \ in the way of being almost accomplished Yes, | shall expect you in half ) an hour. Good-by! Che Tracer of Lost Persons’ eyes wer twinkling as he hung up the receiver and turned in his revolving chair to meet th nan who had ntered ir pretty young wor response to his rin the Carden case, it \ ise, Mi Smith,” he said, smiling to hin [The young woman also smiled: the ; Carden case had become a classic in the rffier Nobody except Mr. Keen believed that the case could ever be = lved ietieses Safe-deposit box 108923! aid Miss Strange Strange, Did You Say I k Across the Path at That Young Mas Smith softly, pressing a speaking-tube to her red lips. In a few moments there came a hissing thud fron he pneumatie tub Mr Miss Smith unlocked it and extracted a smooth, steel cylinder ntinzent fe S500 The combination for that cylin ig a cipher code, ‘‘ which, translated 1e added, ‘giv i ) , f - I ' ; ; D, R-R,-J-'24.” proceedit to da = die } oe " i Miss Smith turned the movable disks a he end of the evlinder until the required —reeord combination appeared Then she unscre 1 the vlinder-head and nped out the M “I nit documents in the famous Carden cass [> lred As Mr. Carden will be here in half an hour or so I think id better rut er the ur f case brietly,”’ nodded the Tracer, leaning back in his chair and my t iself to By proce f eliminat n f ‘ i listen segin with my preliminary memorandum, Miss Smith.”’ ete., th tw it vn to three. ( t hewe uN it her Case 108928,” began the girl Then she read the date, Carden’s full nar Victor wise resembled t type he oth r 1 tn ! t her Carden; a terse biography of the same ntleman, and added Case accepted. could be completed. The third is apparetr r a of Mr. ¢ i rivina Contingent fee, $5000." sits n face, figure, breeding, ed r ind il | ) ‘**Quite so,”” said Mr. Keen; ‘‘now, run through the minut the first ter \ Read Document \,"’ nodded Mr. K And Miss Smith unrolled a typewritten scroll and read And Mi Victor Carden, Esquire, the well-known artist, called thi r it 6 I ; , well-bred, good appearance, very handsome; very much embarra 1. Qu ed | . ' M Mr. Keen he turned pink and looked timid he s gra Miss ( \ | \ } I I he might not see Mr. Keen alone, Miss Colt retired. Mr. Keer tt ling freight I , I Hea phonograph in motion by dropping his elbow his desk. Weigh , A brief résumé of the cylinder records follows Hair on ines ney & Habit \ Mr. Carden asked Mr. Keen if he (Mr. Keen) knew who he (Mr. Carden) v M Teet] ani “a . Pr everybody knew Mr. Carden, the celebrated painter and illustrato | 1) { R Keen replie who had created the popular type of beaut i erfe ‘ blushed and fidgeted \ yn Merk 0 nB my } Admitted Color Fair. Ar ! nted blonde Mania AM "

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Norve—Dr. Rosalind Hollis was prese nted to soci ty in her eighteenth At the end of her s« she withdrew determination to devote her entire life Settlement-work and the cond season with the vear from society to charity study medicine have occupied her | Recently admitted to her mornings in COnS practice, she spends visiting the poor whom she treats free of all charge ; her afternoons and ever inys are devoted to what she expects | to be her specialty: the study of the rare malady known as Lamour Disease Nee Note « It is understood th ha al jured the her patients ar t Doctor Hell ofall men other societ d such of her pr i ional confréres as she is obliged to consult or work with. Her theory is of the beehive: drone for mate workers for work. She adds, very decidedly, that she belongs to the latter division and means to remain there permanently “Nore (Mr. Keen's O. B., pp. G1 Is Her ecce ntricity is probably tne result of a fine, highly g young girl taking life and herself will be the wholesome, vusl The remedy erk Right M ictly,”” nodded Mr. Keen, join- ng the tips of his thin fingers and partly _— osing his eye Nov \l Pa) t the disease hich Doctor Hol nte tt ike her specia have la not ontnha Here they are aid Miss Smith; ind she read Lamour Disease; the f all Known disease first discovered and cd ribed t I Lamour, M. D., M. S., F. B. A., M. F. H., in On i nirle a has ever been observed This i fully deseribed in Doctor Lamour uperb and mor ntal work in teen volume Briefly, the dis- eu ipped nou il KnoWn cause and 18 ultimatety upposed result fatally he first mptom is the pearal of a faintly bluish circle under the eve thou he patient were ace ed to using the ¢ 3 ton teadil i ime Sor me I adeyre ot teve iwcor Like tt maniiestation pulse and tempera re ur The patient i} ently in excellent health, bui Hable to lo ‘ t t ‘ m and a sudden flushing of the face. These sympt« re followed by others ur takable the 1 ' bee ‘ ent t time ‘ ‘ ‘ es a Weakne r ser ental expre flushes easil is easily de} ed; will for hours lov , one per ind, if 1 eh ed, Will ext it impul mp tom ol iffectior for the opp ite sex Ihe tranyest symptom of all, however, is the physical cl he patient vVhose featu and figure, under the trained «¢ I the bserver, yradually trom day to day a ime ‘ m- metry and charm of a beauty almost uneart! metime accompanied DY a 8] tual pallor which is u tak le in contirming tl adiagnosi and which Doc r Lamour toed ‘ presa i! ne 4 ipproacn ¢ mmortatiit r n remedy for Lat ir’s DD ist lhe he. case of the young lady deseribed rie , now it hed her 1¢ r ears t! ine nee and enthusiasm; finally, in the interest of erence i it t patient in order to de el toa tudy of her sy1 Unfortunately some t ( ippeared early hina week —- but the cur ! ‘ tion of physical be tv remained and continued Nncrease da toa dazzling radiance, with no apparer he patient Dox l r. 1 rtunatel died before } nvestigati covering over fort en could be cor pleted; his widow ir ed | f a day or two or leaving teen childrer Hy iw 1 unknown field for medical men to invest ite It ife to say that the pl cian WI Ise ers the bac { Lan Disease and the om emedy tu cor ‘ “A ap ! reward a l renown imperishal Lat 1) i cise not etou rstood i disea ! terminat r eheved to be ta istrar disease wt nh see to render radia ! ‘ il the features of the patient, bright: he with (het u f impending death and the sy { The Tracer ¢ y % ms care eat ! t t brat M Sr t So tt disease hich I Hollis has ct ni he pe 1 And only one ‘ rd i “hank N Smit) iced the pape the 1 « le lipped it ir he pneumatic tube, ser wh ‘ ‘ the ife-deyp iu and aut Mr Kee witn a plea int inclination of her head, went out of the Phe Tracer turned in his chair, picked up the daily de tective report, and inned ntil he came to the name THE SATURDAY EVENING POST Hollis. It appeared that the daily routine of Rosalind Hollis had not varied during the past three weeks. In the morn- ings she was good to the poor with bottles and pills; in the afternoons she tucked one of Lamour’s famous sixteen volumes under her arm and walked to Central Park, where with democratic simplicity she sat on a secluded bench and pored over the symptoms of Lamour’s Disease. About five she retired to her severely simple apartments in the big brownstone office-building devoted to physicians, corner of Fifty-eighth Street and Madison Avenue. Here she took tea, read a little, dined all alone, and retired about nine. This was the guileless, but determined, existence of Rosalind Hollis, M. D., ac- cording to McConnell, the detective assigned to observe her. The Tracer refolded the report of his chief of detectives and pigeonholed it just as the door opened and a tall, well-built, attractive young man entered. Shyness was written all over him; he offered his hand to Mr. with an embarrassed air and seated himself at that gentleman’s invitation. ‘‘I’m almost sorry I ever began this sort of thing,”’ he blurted out like a big schoolboy appalled at his own mis- demeanors. ‘‘The truth is, Mr. that the prospect of actually seeing a ‘Carden Girl’ alive has and through. I’ve a that Keen Keen, cared me through notion that mi) sort of a girl ends when I’ve drawn her picture.” **But surely,”’ said the Tracer mildly, you have some natural curiosity to see the living copy of your charming but inanimate originals, haven't you, Mr. Carden?” Yes -oh, certainly. I'd like to see one of them alive say out of a window, orfromacab. I should not care to be too close to her.” ‘**But merely seeing her does not commit you,” interposed Mr. Keen, smiling. ‘‘She is far too busy, too much absorbed in her own affairs to take any notice of you. | understand that she has something of an aversion for men.” = business with Aversion! Well, she excludes them as unnecessary to her exist- W hy e, Because she asked Carden. 1as a mission in life,’’ said Mr. Keen. looked out of the window. It was pleasant June in all its early loveliness —the fifth day of The seventh was his birthday. I've simply got to marry somebody before the day after ‘that is, if | want my legacy.” What!’’ demanded the Tracer sharply. Carden turned, pink and guilty. ‘I didn’t tell you all said. ‘I Carden veather June »w,”’ he said aloud the circumstances of my case,’’ he suppose | ought to have done so. be xvac tly ,’ said the Tracer severe ly that vou n arry before the day alter to-morrow Well, it’s my twenty-fifth birthda ie Somebody has left you money on condition that you marry before twenty-fifth birthday? Is that it Mr. Carden? An uncle? An grandfather? A entimental aunt?” My Aunt Tabby Van Beekman.” W he re In Trinity churchyard. Besides, it ood when she was alive.”’ The Tracer knitted his brows, She was very proud, ver “Why is it neces- sary your imbecile is she?”’ It’s too late to expostulate with her, you see. have done wouldn't any musing autocratic,”’ said Carden. ‘lam the last of my race and my aunt vas determined that the race should May 12, 1906 “Of your falling in love within the next hour or so? Yes, I do. I think there is every chance of it. of it. But that is not the difficulty. The problem is far more complicated.” ‘You mean ‘‘Evactly; how to marry that girl before day after t morrow. That’s the problem, Mr. Carden!—not whethe you are capable of falling in love with her. her; | Anow you can’t avoid falling in love with her. No- body could. J, myself, am on the verge of it fifty: you can’t avoid loving her.” “If that were so,”’ said Carden gravely; ‘‘if I were really going to fall in love with her I would not care a rap abou my Aunt Tabby and her money = ‘*You ought to care about it for this young girl's That legacy is virtually hers, not yours. She has a right to it. No man can ever give enough to the woman he loves no man has ever done so. What she ver a fair exchange. If you can balance the in any measure, it is your duty to do it. Mr. Carden, if she comes to love you she may think it ve ry fine that you bring to her your love, yourself, your fame, your l am sure ] have seen and I am al Sant’ gives and what he fives are ne account talents, your success, your position, your gratilving Sut I tell you it’s not enough to balance the It is never enough—no, not all your devotion to her included! You can never balance the account on earth and spiritually. income. account. all you can do is to try to balance it materially Therefore I say, endow her with a// you earthly goods. Give all you can in every way to lighten as much as possible man’s hope less debt to all women whi have ever loved,” ‘You talk about it as though I were already committed said Carden, astonished ‘You are, morally For a month I knowledge, it is true, invaded the privacy of a very lovel have, without her young girl — studied her minutely, possessed myself of her history W hat excuse had I for this unless I desired her happiness and yours? No body could offer me any grag practice unless | believed that the means might justify a And the is your n ! ly ” said going to accomplish it by to-morrow ? be accomplished at all?”’ The Tracer of Lost long rug, after minute , informed myself asto her habits. inducement to en moral conclusion of this in to her.”’ moral conclusion. arriage Carden uneasily; ‘‘ but Persons rose and began to pace the clasping his hands behind his back. Minute sped; Carden stared alternately at Mr. Keen and at the blue sky through the open window ‘It is seldom,” said Mr. Keen with evident annoyance, ‘that I personally take any spectacular part in the actual and concrete demonstrations ne¢ essary to a succes But I’ve got to do it this time.” He went to a cupboard, picked out a gray wig and gray side-whiskers and deliberately waved them at Carden “You see what these look like?’’ he demanded. “Yves,” “Very well. It is now noon. Do you know the Park? Do you happen to recollect a shady turn in the path a wan lake? Here; I’li draw lake; here’s the esplanade the path. You follow it sful con- iusion Of a chent Ss case. fter you cross the bridge over the s Now, here is the Here's it for you. and fountain, you see, so!— around the lake, across the bridge, then following the lake to the right—so!—then up the wooded slope to the left o! Now, here is a bench. I] mark it Number One She sits there with her book— there she is!” “If she looks like (hat ” began Carden. And they of excitement both laughed with the slightest trace : resumed the Tracer **Here is Bench Number Two! » you sit and there you ar Thanks,” said Carden, laughing again “‘Now,”’ continued the Tracer, *‘ you must be there at one o’clock. She will be there at one-thirty, or earlier perhaps A little later I will become Your part is merely a thinking part nothing, unles And when you are spoken to y benignly visible. you are to do nothing, say spoken to. u are to die out with me. I don’t want to _ and increase, but she s trying to At all events, | am not go- tomarry any woman inferior to the pe IT have created with my pencil ublic calls the ‘Carder (nd now vou see that vour discovery Mr. Keen's , , t tt iiving tvpe comes rather late rea lr o days arried Iwantr and ‘ tor t of a | ‘ hye es fa } ral th e, bu | hasatl ion and an aversion to N e! S« 1 see, Mr. Keen, that the atter is perfectly hopeless.” I see anything of the kind I don’t aid Mr. Keen firmly. “Wha do vou | any chance— : } believe there ,4 y iy 7 v 1° me yi = Wi ose ) LAT AA { = Me Crag ee ee scsi ——... NO taal ee 3 ounnwnTn, SS a Ke SR ~ «& es |

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SATURDAY EVENING POST acquiesce in Whatever anybody says to you, and you ar 1O latever anybody requests you to do nd, above ali Life iro? hicn ail true inspirat r t i don’t be surprised at any/hing that may happer You O and ove » himself } is repeatir ( | be nervous enough; I expect that You'll probably color t perfect myn le that | n be ir up and flush and fidget; I expect tt I « I n that ‘ eS } el But don’t lose your nerve entirely; and dot th ( ! ar ittempting to escape mer va inde t} resenc , i Escape! From what? From whon Ther nothing r is th From her.’ ! v for me Her?’ my happiness if | nev ’ Are you going to follow my instru ! demanded — of irse, I shou \ } the Tracer of Lost Persons living beaut ich as her . \ | -y-yes, of cours pictures. WI perb eves! i Very well, then. lam going to rub some of this under We) t Ry He ha t our eyes.””. And Mr. Keen produced a make-up box and, draw nos« wv in futur My ir Valking over to Carden, calmiv darkened the sku ; \ ‘ | look as though I had been o a bat!” « umed Car and ite! il ha l P den, surveying himself in a mirror Do vou think any S looked up leisurely fr 4 ! girl could find any attraction in such a countenan¢ ca ‘ het I S vill,’ observed the Tracer meaning] Now } ‘ Mr. Carden, one last word: The moment vou find yourself Phere mething the matter th } } in love with her, and the first moment you have the chance Witt Ippressed guly i i 1 : é to do o decently, make love toher. She wor dismiss vou with those it hued il road | i | she will repulse you, of course, but she won't let you go I know what I am saying; all I ask of vou is to promise ot And ¢ your honor to carry out thess nstru ! 1) you pr se?” ( i ld hen here is the ip of the rende hich I ha ) \ arawn Be there prom} (;,00d ) \ ONE o'clock that afternoon a vo ing man earne tly ! va ing a map might have been seen pursuing hi olit through Central Parl Fresh green foliags ) arched above him, flecking the path with fretted shadow } and sunlight; the sweet odor of flowering shrubs saturated | the a the waters of the lake sparkled where swans | } . | ad e Sails to the q { } | ( \ } a shaded bend in th 1 } I) rH fwo. 1am to sit or Tous mofa nastrang here was nobody in sight Reassured, he ventured to drop one knee over the other and lean upon his walking 1) tick Fora few minutes he rer ned i n-com! i ittitude, alert at ever ound, anxiou rtable ireading he knew not ! \ | lat, gra racing | i noisily across the fallen leaves gave him a sho A numb of birds came to look at hir I ’ ippearedtohiu for the Inquisitive serutiny of a robin he fancied he ned As I was w rit lon t I eaning ind it t i ( ‘ purpl ‘ j i ail ics: acai aia ahead oat de : sont a ape Al th wave hed d | ; ! I I rd even fiddler ¢ bs size of the bird A-plaving pleasant tur What an absurd pos tion to be int” he thought And All 1 row th each } ty suddenly he Was seized vith a desire to flee he macre 4 wid be He didn't because he had promised not to, but the desir Afi 3h they mp rsisted to the point of mania. Oh, how he could run if he 2 " \ : nly hadn't promised notto! His entire being tingled with a ee eo j the latent possibilities of a burst of terrific speed. He And as they squeaked and twar wanted to ke a seared rabb it pace ot and tweaked the kangaroo wot Ww incomparison. What a record The waves began to prance, he could make if he hadn't promised not to! As all the folk of Ocean came | rossed his knees the other way and brooded. The To join the merry dance \ I squirrel climbed the bench and nosed his pockets for rhe northern seal he took the ble peanuts, then hopped off hopefully toward a d For his cotillon set, H nt nursemald and two childrer And every minnow seized a fi ( Growing more alarmed every time he consulted hi And danced a minnow-et that t } } watch, Carden attempted to stem his rising with logic , ; and philosophy, repeating: ‘*Steady! my son! Don’t act The colphin and the walrus grand like this! You're not obliged to marry her if you don’t They made a graceful pai | fall in love with her; and if you do you won't mind marry But, faith, it was the octopus ing her. That is philosophy. That is logic. Oh, I wonder _ Drove others to despair ! \ hat will have happened to me by this time to-morrow! I For with his charms of many arm . ish it were this time to-morrow! I wish it were this time His dancing was sublime, s ext month! Then it would be all over. Then it As right among the rest he swung he old ge | } { er |} His muttering speech froze on his lips. Rooted to hi Fight mermaids at a time car M had t bench he sat staring at a distant figure approaching — the A portly whale stood on his tail rtunat ‘ H figure of a young girl in a summer gown And said: ‘* Miss Anchovy, t ! ‘ red | i | Near r, nearer she came, walking with a free-limbed I do declare, we’re quite a pair! I t t ) Hel I q graceful step, head high, one arm clasping a book Please, won’t you dance with me ? ht He That was the way the girls he drew would | valked Whereat a shrimp grew pale and lim ' ‘ ' Because a swordfish cruel u : , CRSES TOs had they ever lived. Even in the midst of his fright his Had quarreled about a pretty trout artist’s eyes noted that: noted the perfect figure, too, and inating And wished to fight a duel there; are u the witchery of its grace and contour, and the g poise of her head, and the splendid color of her hair; noted mechanically the flowing lines of her gown, and the dainty At this the gentle fiddler crabs Cor deling of arm and wrist and throat and ear Were filled with great dismay, I lal id , Then, as she reached her bench and seated herself, she So each one packed his violin I) raised her eyes and looked at him. And for the first time And bowed and went his way ; turning her eyes on Card ho pror ished to I in his life he realized that ideal beauty was but the pale The little fishes hurried off ears and began to fid phantom of the real and founded on something more than In violent alarm ; tered ' na P imagination and thought; on something of vaster import But the merry octopus went home poor ing! ! than fancy and taste and technical skill; that it was founded With a mermaid on each arm

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THE CALLED him “Faust.”” He was night I went up to hercabin. To her a mouse— brown and very little. old sick father I gave medicine; to her Hy poppe 1 up one day through a chink in the heavy gray stones of my) cell; he saw me and squeaked and popped down again. And | leaped from my iron shelf-bed and put my head down to the hole very eager! For I had been three years alone. In 1807, for urging the Baltic peasants to rise, | had been eized by gendarmes and thrown into tl cell in the Petersburg Fortres The Russian Bastille The cell Va 1X leet square, with a narrow slit-window above. In he morning, black bread and water noon, black bread and soup; at night, soup and black bread. No human ices. Only the hea gray stone So now | was eager for that mouse I tried hard to coax late that black eyes of bread And at last just his head and his tin) with him out afternoon, he came crumbs I sat very still. He crept farther, and stood up very traig and looked at me very frightened I « not bi he } da long time, and I knew I was on trial At last he decided | was not very dangeré 30 he Jumped and took the cruml And at this I laughed very hard And at h! little Faust’s tail went down the hole! I lay « to the hole I putt ear, and I heard him q juea ar cle n the dungeon walls. And | i and yhed for 1 had be« three vears alone ecame good comrades soot l taught him to come ‘ hen | tapped me o march slowly along on his How he squeaked with excitement; how his tiny eves flashed and twinkled; how t KE peat tl bread | almost taught him, at the end ol a ntn to march from my hand to my shoulder Por tle Faust! He was too greedy for that bread. He grew fatter and fatter. When he stood up to dance, ! 1 t qué ed And so at last he died Now 1 a sight or a sound —except tappings. On the pe of my cell | was always tappi telegraphing political other cells, with the secret code we had | ir! 1! comrades Ark hese are a fe of th | heard I was born on my father’s estate in Poland round cas he owned for many miles the fields rests; but he himself lived most of the time he belonged to the Council of the Czar In our castle | grew up -in no sense a Revolutionist Cine tutor taught me French, another German and English, and taught was to make me ready for the life at court I demanded more I went to the university at i bevan to study medicine: and this I comple ted vears’ work in the Medical Institute at Petersburg My father was proud of me there and he introduced me into where | } delightful life: until I court circles mad a ay was appointed surgeon on the staff of the Grand Duke Alexis I went with him down to the Caucasus, where he was commander-in-chief ‘And then I began to think of the people THE SATURDAY EVENING POST RUSSIAN BASTILLE By ERNEST POOLE (As Told by One of the Prisoners) A Russian Priest I di on a hill Above me towered black mountains with snowy peaks, below stretched hazy, flowery valleys. It isa radiant country, three times as big as Switzerland and a hundred times more wild. The nine million people are dressed in gowns, with daggers and belts, in gay-colored hoods and turbans. And the women! We called them ‘The Diamonds of Russia!’ “But this country In valley huts and mountain cabins | saw frightful poverty, ignorance and diseas¢ the pe ople down; as we de stroveda the schools that nm ight taxed ved in the Duke’s big castl was slowly starving to death. all increasing as we slowly ground have lifted them out of disease and ignorance them more and more, seizing their crops when they could not pay—until now whole districts were in famine. At the same time, in my position on the Duke’s staff I learned his secrets. Not only was he robbing the people at large, but he was stealing enormous lands from the Armenian churches—striving to blot out the free church and replace it by the old despotic church of Russia ‘Freedom of religion, freedom of speech, of press and meeting —all were choked. And as the people’s anger ose we brought in more troops—until now we had twenty thousand soldiers and Cossacks camped through the valley. I heard these Cossacks in their jovial night carousals boast theft and murder and rapine— hideous stories of out- were committing. They told—and roared with as Wwe f ‘ ages the) laughter Unhappy country enslaved like our beloved Poland! So I began to think with four other young nobles who were on the Duke’s staff. We read together some of the great books of European freedom; we read the of that glorious young Russian, Catherine Breschkoveky, who had left her high title and her wealth to help start the struggles for freedom in Russia, and who had been sent t« the Kara mines in Siberia, there to remain over twenty) years as a convict! “We Revolutionists. From Switzerland secured the secret proclamations of the party then begin- ning. And these 1 began to distribute among the soldiers I was helped by a young Caucasian girl, one of the black-haired beauties of the mountainside At story became we radiant, I read proclamations. And listened. sald very low, her rich voice shining with tears, our free! But now we are slaves! are robbed and lashed and beaten Yes she *** Ves : big mountains she black eves Deautliu Our our women outraged our lives and all my he Ip she secured a position in the soldiers “once were mer we must give al] to be again free! rhroug! barracks, and began secre tly to distribute my proclama For many months she worked. in her father’s cabin tions. she was ke arning to know the soldiers one by one, and how when ht each was ready, she slipped ¢ proclamation into his hand while he sat at the long table eating. ‘*All went well for several months. “Then one night room in the she thoug man into my castle came f of the Duke’s gendarmes! They seized me without : word. As they tried to bind me, I fought. One of my friends heard the fight and came running in ‘*Stop!’ cried the leader of the gendarmes; ‘we have This man is mad!’ I stared at my frienc order of the Duke. “Then I stopped fighting stared at me. The police took me in a carriage at night do town in the valley —into the ‘Not a word of explanation of any well n V fate. such come by madhouse. ] knew how Kind, Dut 1 tor KNOW For you, my comrades common = are arrests ‘administrative justice Russia. shaking, her May 12, 1906 € ager] y Y ] At night I met her And eagerly, Joy ously, she told how A four a in rhe scenes in that dark house | will not tell ] was there two horrible months, and the only change I had was to go to the madhouse chapel to confess to the tall, gloom) Russian priest. “In this chapel one day, hooded figure high and thin, cried: Good prince! Noble young prince! Once you cured up the dark aisle came An old won vray i pra bent and stooping. an’s lee me of the pains in my back. Now give me some more good talk to make me well.’ “*Go away!’ growled the old priest. But I looked at him so angrily that he turned muttering and moved off down the aisle. ‘‘The old woman peered close up into my ‘I started! big black eves of the Caucasian gir] broken whispers ‘**At last | am—free from prison! Two months ago a stupid soldier I gave him a proclamation—he showed it- to his captain! That night—in my hut they came me beat me—beat my old father—took prison! There—four days—four nights—no water food. Thenagain-—in they came— beat me till I fainted with a hot iron they made me wake — they said they would kill me! And then I was too—too weak! I told! And so you are here!’ ‘She bent and shook with sobs sound. I was thinking hard lace For out of the coarse, gray hood flashed the She spoke in short, bound me to no but sobs without a ‘You can still make all right,’ I whispered. Future Free Citizens An Esthonian Village School

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Frightful Poverty, lenorance and Disease ‘*How eager she was ther to the plan which | “The next week she came again to the chapel and brought me a little steel file Phat night in my cell window. I squeeze silently down into the dark ‘Luckily it was grass below J slipped off down the street she was waiting, with horses supplied by 1 friends. Together werodeall the night we took a packet along the thence by train we went “My took the Caucasian girl into her household **I wrote to my father all that had happened

I sawec through and dropped here was no outer wal! And there in a deep shad otticer There Crimea, and two to Batoum Black Sea to the back to my father’s estats noble old mother was wild with joy Giaadly she When he learned how my views had changed he was very angry and ordered me to stay on the estat« **But I refused, and came at once to Petersburg to joir the secret work here This was in SSE Alread our party had ten thousand young men and women working quietly day and night all over Russia. In Petersburg universities were honeycombed. Night after night we held our secret often until dawn ‘*My father was very bitter and refused to I must earn my own living, so I began practice as a doctor in the workmen's quarters “One night | lay exhausted in my roor All day I had worked on a fever case, and all evening | had been in a secret meeting. Just before daybreak | fell asleep ‘“‘Tawoke! My room was full of police! revolver from under my pillow, fired dropped —- bleeding in the leg. “The next day, without trial, 1 was brought bound to this dungeon. Here | have been for thirteen years. And here they say I must stay all my life **But now let us not speak of me at any time again. It is for you, comrades, to speak, you who have been in the new revolution work. The work that has grown so tremen- dous that now I can hardly believe what you tell. Again 1 feel hope for Russia! So tell me all!” meetings

I snatched my and one gendarme shall gladly give you fellows all the Revolution news learn this code of yours so that 1 can speak faster. 1 am here only for three months, but when I get out I shall teach other newspaper men your cod¢ for others will soon be coming. Perhaps I myself shall secure another invitation; already I have been entertained here three times, but in different parts of the fortress ‘Tam called the ‘Sitting Editor,’ because m isto sit in jail. This new profession has been creat you fellows came to prison. I will explain “Two weeks ago a writer on our paper manufactured a delightful story against the Czar. Int» our office the next day came a squad of police “*Where is this captain. “*T cannot tell vou, sir,’ man, who the ‘Ask the editor.’ “The squad tramped into the editor's the other as soon as | can vocation “da Fince lasphe mer? ared the big police faced Writing i tall, thin, solemn rs’ table busily said

sat at repor room As the le or closed reporters all began laughing and

crowding round me, till | became cross at their joking ‘Don’t be so happy!’ I growled At that moment out came the police with the ¢ vr And the editor pointed at me. “* There is the criminal!’ he said, He wrote the story him! He is and had it printed while I was away. Take discharged from this office!’ Caucasian Villagers. A Radiant Country, but in Valley Huts and Mountain Cabins are All Increasing

are Thrown into Monastery Prisons The squad gr ed me ent down the rs | heard the roar of laughter nd | ‘ For | or the the thin, sole n-laced Mar I Stor’ I W \ a ant ne S I Most mor who have ‘ fi are thrown into monastery | ! worse than the dungeon hers beca make the prisoners come into the ape go thro. igh what they call the worst of monks are now in prisons, for tho » strive for the freedom of nsci¢ I’. +. ‘ iwent vears ago | was a mon} All around us the peasants had beer and now we had been sent to fore Russian Ina and wife come at taking s He began ez him *Sudk Russian

(,0da log farmhouse to whon uVvVa W weet alter the it to their log house came a f Vith them came the Luther: a clers man for peasants the risk of uch risk imprisonment the to pray blessed arnestly le nly the door was jerked ope priest in his long, black go child and bapti while the pez i e off W benine e he a a and these ise eVé i and ther ot God sani are ein Ru ina Baltie mor centuries them to w } «al ‘ Lhe ‘ ‘ heran wv it I i ! of their! I nool-teache good old but he w u d her, ar uf I

A Ten-Year-Old Revolutionist of the Caucasus ode SATURDAY EVENING POST \ Caucasian Monastery of the Eleventh Century sants kneeled around the lan and These are j ! i i pol ‘ i ! | her ume ! hed her bal ( r she j , th ' a , rthe { t \ t I nh \ ‘ } } j It ‘ 1} f f d her | nt } ‘ } } hy hk the eized her ar } } } | | it ¢ ob } } band v ‘ bye ‘ Ar } } t } house of pri ck } } er ivhey] ic the} to ta ! ‘ ( otnefgr ¢ he t i ne } } ; P na ‘ ! j } 1 ky f ear } th her } } hi ur } } o) ‘ 1 rs r } } “ S } forced hert he | ’ } the ed’ th f +} } At the er rt} , j T © COT ‘ her t | « Converts 7 t ( breed ' Wha ] his } tv me! On « estate me M« | 1 old father ij t? ther hits tor Tred the ‘ a fe hundred year Low, stupid bourgeo gray, wrinkled face growing rigi bow to their hand Wewl rivhtful rulers of Ru or our family Was descends had ¢ their ruler | ‘ in Europe Bright Ages’ for Age whe ruled when the |] now My old father } But how tender he was to me

“Most Monks Who Hav« W orse

Striven for Freedom than the Dungeon ah! he would er nis f and red Why should hould be in their palace ifrom the ancient Boyar il were tree men al these t ‘ were called We have our ‘Darl would grow at all this! ides we had upped in fu i! ir lashing over the now The jingle of be ind the thud of hoofs! Wha mu ! Or nd r hr } he de I ‘ and» = biret forests, or out for mile he pra le nad mile nd all bel edt My fathe haugl toward the ( t people genial and to } " ant As wi vn ped tl or f« 1m nt har et Vent k huts buried ir he ‘ " , ‘ a n out first the childre t! their parent Greetings! Iva f Maxin father I to me wrinkled, br pea Greetir Stepa of Niel ho I K the old peasant ] thought litt! Fagerly I « bea For } ’ } Y it? ‘ ' r bv me and the er } d } I rod +f ne th n sil ‘ , hed the edge he prait ' oy 1 ‘ } WV} j | t ‘ | t } ‘ n for ( ! e | ed the ¢ | ite me ¢ | t M r me d « B irm< rn } i horse r nae } } Narr me hand t } ‘ ts 7 er the prairi« watching the distant foc + et } eemed thinkir f omething els | loved to tch, as from the tall, narr

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THE SATURDAY EVENING POST May 12, 1906 AS THE ROMANS D ERHAPS no one besides Lefens could have come to Washington tely simple a prop- with so absol osition. He was a chemist rather more than he was anything else \ccident had Jed his mind to glue, and he had never been able to release it from that pertl- ject. Having stumbled upon the formula, he had patiently studied and perfected it Now he could tnake the best muciiage in the world and lay it down at a price full twenty per cent. below what any of the Massa nacious sut chusetts manufacturers could live on. That fact was as firm in his consciousness as the foundations of the earth Considering that they were not in a trust, but competi- tors, the Massachusetts fellows seemed to understand one another astonishingly well. If Lefens’ glue sought to attach itself to one important market the Marblehead Lhe ‘ pany at once cut prices there. If he at her large outlet, the Salem Cohesive Company Was on hand prepared to give away mucilage. Somewhere everpart men blocked him. With capital he might organized a great advertising cam- paign, and rk whole Bay State coast. Without capital he saw that he must be content to peddle out his muciage in an inoffensive and trivial manner, unless he could execute yme flank movement The Government was a large user of mucilagi More- over, the legend * Adopted by the United States”’ ought to be effective elsewhere. So Lefens set out for Washington just to lay his proposition fairly and squarely before the a department heads. If they were honest, they must buy his mucilage, because it was best and cheapest. if they were! honest naturally that Would end it His disposition was not rash or impatient. He was pre- pared to spend three full weeks in trying the experiment That was rly in September now it Was late in November, } and he walked very thoughtfully down the sloping street that led to Pennsylvania Avenue. He hated to borrow ney, also he hated to give up when a little more perse- rance might win La ring uncertainly on the flagging, he looked over mechanically at the imposing flank of the Willard He perceived afresh that the six wee ks he had spent there had been a serious tactical error. He had discovered gentle- en Who were abundantly willing to eat and drink, at his expense, the best and most that the house afforded, but he couldn't say that his mucilage had got any further along because he had ived atan ¢ xpensive hotel, and the thou- and dollars it had cost him was just what he now needed “he trouble was that Washington took so much time. He was not exactly discouraged, for he had never anywhe body had been amiable id put him off. That fair and square grapple with the Govern- been exactly rejected. Ev ment, Which had seemed so easy a matter at home, simply would not happen. Everything presented a round, cush- ioned surface whi h per tly vielded to his contact, the n softly rolled him away in all the he Iplessness of a caromed billiar " balance was low i-ball. He had rolled until he was sore, and his bank The letter from his wife, received that morning, was warm in his breast pocket. The kodak picture of herself and the two babies which she had inclosed kept playing enticing little dramas in the back of his brain. Still, he could tell her to come up to her brother-in-law’s in Phila- delphia, as she had proposed, and could run over there often to see her if he decided to stick to it a while longer A Story of the Man witha Little MucK RaKe B W and two or three newspaper corre- Y I L L } Z \ N | spondents who might presumably do With that inconclusive thought he turned and entered the office of Harrison & Co., brokers. He walked through the little counting-room, where no pains had been spared to show that the proprietors had money to burn. In the li: were watching the stock quotations that a boy posted on the wall. The quotations meant nothing to Lefens, but he regarded them with an air of grave interest, while some of the loafers, seeing him, at once whispered questions to ger room at the rear a half-dozen loafing speculators their neighbors. It was Lefens’ misfortune that his appear- ance always inspired this questioning. He was made in a large and comely mold. His ruddy, smooth-shaven, well-featured face, blue eyes and tawny hair, showing the German blood, made him look a bit foreign In the same innocent egotism which had made him select the most pre- tentious hotel, he wore a ** Prince Albert’’ coat and shiny silk hat. His appearance, body and raiment, was so fine that men questioned whether he was Apollo or a blockhead, a ser "ora chiropodist out of work. Gravely regarding the meaningless quotations, Lefens Was acutely aware that Tommy Mortimer, manager of the otlice, Was hovering at the large wicket marked ** Orders.” It was Tommy that he wished to se« tentative ly, about that contingency of a loan. Presently the manager's nervous eye discovered him, and Mortimer sang out on ularl We gates, landsman.’ Lefens laughed, replied in German, and started with dignified leisure for the wicket. Just then, however, a gross man, With red hair and beard, came in at the back door rom the corridor. Mortimer ran to meet him, entered the small private stall at the back with him and shut the door. The man was Congressman Bartholomew. Lefens walked out to the street slowly. His innocent self-respect still suffered from this Washington way of being so almighty friendly with you, but dropping vou like a hot potato the instant somebody that ranked you came in sight He wouldn't vo back to Mortime r now, so there was nothing in particular to do at present except go over and climb to the top of the monument and down again. This was good to reduce his fat, and to kill t spicuous and inexpensive manner. This was his forty- seventh ascent. The guard greeted him with a joviality which he didn’t quite like. He didn’t quite like, either, the friendliness of the waiter at Schoenhofen’s. He had first dropped in at the res- nt, of an afternoon or evening, with a few amiable acquaintances, and was accustomed to spend considerable money. Of late he regularly lunched there on wienerwurst and a glass of draught beer, and often as modestly dined there He liked the wienerwurst, but was unpleasantly aware that the warming and descending scale of the waiter’s manners nicely corresponded with the decline of his bank- account. It seemed that if he went actually stone-broke the waiter would embosom him like a brother. There was a reason, besides the wienerwurst, why he stuck to Schoen- hofen’s. The restaurant, with a curio-laden bar in front, and many bibuious couplets in German doggerel painted on the dingy walls, was on Pennsylvania Avenue, just around the corner from Harrison & Co. Tommy Mortimer in an incon- ns ae | een ee en often ran in there for luncheon. In fact, Lefens had first met him there, the mucilage a good turn some tim or other. To-day the smoking sausages and krout had scarcely been deposited before Lefens when Mortimer bustled in As luck had it, there was nobody more promising in sight so he made for the chair across the thick-set little table from Lefens. The waiter ran to pull out the chair and def- erentially dusted it with the napkin that he had just wiped Lefens’ plate with, while two other waiters, each with an arrested hand to the back of a chair, looked on gloomils as they thus saw Tommy's liberal tip escape them. The broker was no older than Lefens. One could se: that he was going to be fat. His small, dark mustache Was jauntily twisted upattheends. His broad good nature seemed only another way of expressing his abundant ability to find his way about. It was this same cheeky air worldly capacity that had attracted Lefens to him. Business at the office had been fairly ideal of many amateurs going long of the market, and some hea Wwe ight S yoing sh rt the re by ‘ nabling Ton m\ to charge his longs interest for carrying their stocks, which his short relieved him from the necessity of carrying. ‘The manager, therefore, Was in an expansive mood, and Lefens presently told him the whole story of glue. W hy m you rea sucker, old n an!’’ said om ny genlany ‘You'll never get anywhere that way in a thousand years. These guys ain’t buying glue for their health Whiat’s your company’s capital stock?” Lefens told him there was no company. “Organize one,”’ said Tommy. ‘Make the capital stock two hundred thousand dollars. Give forty-nine per cent. of it to the guys that do the buying. You'll have the Government buying mucilage to caulk war-ships with. That's the way to do it Lefens was silent. He had heard of such things, but they were not included ir periment that he was prepared to try. He cut a sausage mechanically. Tommy's easy, matter-of-fact glibness impressed him. This man knew the way about. He half supposed that he was the mere blockhead that Tommy genialiy alleged him to be; that Tommy’s way was, in fact, the only way; that he might go on caroming from third assistant secretary to chief clerk until the end of time, always to be received with a smile and shunted off somewhere else, unless he adopted the approved method Probably that was the way the Massachusetts fellows got their mucilage to stick. He ate the sausage pensively ‘You ought to see my books, old man,” said Tommy, “with the private secretaries that take a flyer when Con- gress is going to do something. Dough’s what counts You want to get hold of a man that knows the ins and outs. See? Knows who really has the say-so when it comes to buying glue. Lef, you are playing on a dead card.” Tommy seemed genuinely sorry for him, but still kept alert an eye outward——so that he leaned back presently with his mouth full of food and waved a comradely hand at a spare, elderly man who was entering. The elderly man, Bushnell, waved back good-naturedly, loitered a moment beside them to pass a joking word with Tommy and nod to Lefens — who again was subtly wounded because here in the midst of their confidential talk the the scheme of the simple ex-

Page 11

proker warmly invited the correspondent to sit with them. Bushnell, with unimpaired good nature, shook his head, however, and went to a solitary table in the corner. “‘Old Bush would tell you a few things,”’ said Tommy, resuming their talk quite as though he had never proposed to interrupt it. ‘‘He could tell you how things are done here.” Lefens looked thoughtfully at the correspondent. He had had him in mind more or less before, feeling that he knew all about Washington. Now, as Bushnell adjust d his eyeglasses leisurely and scanned the bill-of-fare, his ripe experience seeme d some way to indorse W hat Tommy, had said. A sort of dull anger possessed Lefens’ mind. He thought astutely: ‘I'll just find out whether they ar rascals.” ‘‘Where would I get hold of a man that knows the ins and outs?” he asked plumply. Mortimer was scarcely prepared for the question. For a moment it left him at a loss, but his wits were active ‘Why, Johnny Wesner’s the man,” he said decisively “‘Come around to-morrow and I'll put you next him. | want to ask Bush something He left the table abrupt] and went over to the corresponds nt, with whom he began talking busily. ‘*Maybe if I advertised in the papers for a bribe-giver it would be as well,’’ Lefens thought — it seemed so free and easy, SO much a matter of course. He had no intention of doing anything more than to find out for his own satisfaction whether rascality was the accepted rule. It would be worth while for a man to know. So he met Wesner. Three weeks after the original encounter he was sitting in Wesner’s office. It was very familiar ground to him then. Wesner, he knew, had once been a newspaper correspondent himself, then had been secretary to a Congressional commission fora while. Since then his activities had been of a mysterious character. He occupied two rooms in a large office building. The sign on the outer door said simply, ‘J. Wesner.’”’ He was about forty, his tendency to flesh already well developed. His complexion was swarthy, his stiff hair nearly black, his eyes a dark and rather muddy gray. His nose had been broken. The sear and the flatness of the organ gave his face, at first viance, a somewhat sinister suggestion. He dressed and lived « Xpensive ly; and as he sat at the desk fac- ing Lefens, lounging back in the chair, one foot crossed over a stout knee, he folded h arms as though he were quietly hugging himself, a favorite attitude. ‘We'll get to work to-morrow then,” he was saying. ‘You've got a pretty good propos We ought to be able to do something with it He spoke very quietly, always in a low, even tone, almost as though the conversation bored him, this heightened the effect of an immense res force which he managed to give Wesner had shown no enthusiasm, had prom- ised nothing, had urged nothing. He said in that phlegmatic, half-bored way that cer- tain steps which were suggested ought to bring results. Lefens was vaguely aware that this same immovable indifference had hypnotized him. From the first it had seemed to say in a manner more penetrating and convincing than speech: ‘‘Here are the Government's orders for mucilage if you care for them; if you don’t care for ther we will drop the subject.””. Always before, even when he first came to Washington with high hopes, t ment of his desire had been mers ly a possi ility, of good luck that might befall. In Wesner’s had seemed to see the accomplishment lyin before him, fairly asking to be picked up. He to spending his evenings figuring the profits on such and such a number of tons of mucilage. It was certainly irri- tating to see the corrupt Massachusetts fellows walking off with it all under his nose. There came a time when he was glad that Wesner had merely smiled and shook his head in reply to his early questions as to the precise details of obtaining the orders. If a fellow were going into it, it would be pleasanter to leave details to Wesner. He lingered a moment in the chair at the end of the lobby- ’s desk. It seemed there should be something more to say, yet obviously there wasn’t. ‘*] want to get it settled as soon as I can,”’ he observed incidentally. ‘‘I haven’t had time yet to go up delphia and see my wife and children.” ‘Go whenever you like,”’ said Wesner coolly. ‘‘ This will take time.” He might have expected that. Even when it came to the inevitable bribery, Washington moved deliberately. Nevertheless he did not wish to go to Philadelphia until he had a final report from Wesner Outside, he went over to Pennsylvania Avenue and bought a small account-book, such as one might carry in his pocket. He was rather critical about it, rejecting several before one that suited him was offered. He was aware that ile llia- THE SATURDAY EVENING POST his deliberat on over so small a purchase amused the fluffy- He didn't wist Vv tt i " We haired youn who waited on him, but he minded that wish him t Phe k ist had said fra ! very little. The book he selected was bound in black must be left to } ofe ’ iit until he sent w leather with good, firm paper, but no gilt on the edge Hy Perhaps Lef on Hy didn't wish one with gilt He had it wrapped uw d eve! her : carried it in his hand to his inexpet e and untid igring hat ha on P Street There he locked the door, put ar V 1h H hid i r Ss t er for the he the holder, and wrote in the front of his | k Mit Got nd tempt ‘ ‘ rom: M His hand formed the long unfa ir Germa ’ } there. and ‘ ‘ } , th cl ' slowly and clumsily. He did not know exactly why hi a wrote it in German, any more than he knew exactly why |} Wher } ‘ ! he wrote it at all. They had found ju icha ea cheer } ir ed int book under the rug in the bottom of |} randfather if efer nswere wherein the old village grocer had recorded variou ‘ ad it i ou up sid Tx Wwe igarand dubious transact ! np H é ! | iv« grandlather iden der e had cor ted ‘ Jol \W | ' . sharp contact of his bovish mind with the great unknowr micht d ‘ ‘ and the little hidden ace int-book Mit Got t 1 bes Wi ‘ i 1 of " t ‘ ! t invested with a fearful significance Ol course, | Knew Wi ha i TY nt i i ‘ dent was nonsense if he chose to Lopand reasonabout it Neve i i ‘ itt ! theless, he wrote in his little black book that he had formed ou tied up with hi een te 1 krrow a company under West Virginia laws, to which he w i and it rt of ped i N Johnny Weans assign his glue business and the patent right 1 unde ‘ he , forty-nine per cent. of the stock to bribe ide« ‘ H a { But I w only one explanatory line No one can ret the Gover put a flea in 1 ir ear that he on the mak« meth ment’s business any other way.” fierce Ss hate do th him ist kee} } rhe loan that Teddy Mortimer was making } need puddir tring tigh I Understand Dor not go in the book, as the fifteen hundred d irs Were to pavir Jol } bye he d er } for his own and Wesner casn expense When he ent tl rood set John ili tl t Kn bu bet wer owe ; : secs tha mini it before he emem be rive it bac t want put Light « of Si l I ‘ ‘ ‘ Lefe I | ed } I ce affec ! hima h. } eve } eve did not s¢ H H that M T ‘ ! t Tim ! ‘ ' \\ } t al ’ ir rhe | ha i Nhe ‘ , il | ’ dt ] broke I | ne i re } Hy} ag? a ‘ \ } I t tt j | . } ey rhe | th } ; } { } } here | hr | ' } } ’ ' ‘ ’ ‘ \W } | e. = | ( t I ! ! iM ' rhe pl tr M BR ne ‘ I ame ’ Go Whenever You Like,’ Said Wesner Coolly “This Will Take Time ask li it hn W, man to? t ul ock the book in his trunk he took out a well-worn envelope The correspon t te ent eve 1 ila and drew from it a small, unmounted kodak picture | the showed a smiling, fresh-faced young woman sitting « face, the trouble } t} t ht blue ¢ teps holding a b: m her knee, wh a stur I ‘ held th I to speak to him, to extend fond hand Look Jol We he realized how very far afield he had gone in this pleasant thief He } qua ince eisurely cit He put the picture in his book M ‘ i ‘ Wast and locked it in | trur He did intend t at el H hen | ! intil the busine Was settled ho « ‘ But the busir was morta dila ibout ‘ i cor itsell settled He had to make ary i la i ‘ ! have a upon his big store of patience His face subil I loi hn ta ‘ ey and puts it wholesome hue Lines deepened in it \ ous sha his pocket, a th ra e used dis] ‘ clouded his fresh blue eve Certain] it was perf ey dare! him to} Seve her matter of course; he was doing only what eve i et ! nth ! | yet, as he was aware, lightning sometimes did strike; « now, al i h the f I that Was! in so often a victim was d nded. We r’s ¢ I I hand might lip His heart took to actir Dac r rt ( I i l it would beat with painful ir } ! ld of his newspaper and run feveris! ( ‘ Yi } } Mr. I t } dlines to see whether there w an eX] corruy I ‘ sometime il a strange man looked straig! it ttrus t ‘ onde! { nerves fluttered npleasantl in I H ! t he dramatized over and over scene t ir ! Very mar ntere e! t ntrenched | investigating committees, with himself n th } ea lired a } rnme s-stand In these dramas he alwa came it ou might i H r rade the our triumphant, always astutely dodged the incriminating naturedly, discovering a 1 of father \ I questions. Still, they were bad for his nerves Mit Gott mplicit You have a new brand f 1 belie he did not blink the fact that he was engaged in the fear- Lefens nodded some business of bribing the officers of the United State

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10 The President as an Advertisement HE most potent advertising medium in the United the President thereof, whosoever he may be. Imme- diately upon receiving his nomination he discovers to his surprise that he is the big boomer-in-chief, the promoter extraordi- nary of ten thousand enterprises, and he sets about the commercial schemers who would make capital out of him. To begin with, the convention which nominates him booms the city in which it is held; wherefore the Business Men’s Association, or Board of Trade, guarantees thousands of dollars to defray all ex- penses of putting up an auditorium, and what-not. On the instant of his receiving the electric word that he has been nominated, the candidate finds his home town on the boom, Che corner tavern takes on the aspect of a real hotel, with States is to dodge a rack of souvenir postal-cards depicting the candidate's homestead and a family group or two. Then, as inaugu- ration time approaches, dozens of tailors throughout the country display in their windows ‘‘the only genuine inau- gural suit of clothes’’ to be worn by the people’s choice when he [t isa perfectly systematized game, and the Chief Execu- ’ from the time of his nomination until he dies course, he does his most strenuous takes his oath. tive is ‘‘it an ex-President. Of dodging while domiciled in that Mecca for arch-schemers the W hite House Hi first greeting is a chorus of butchers, bakers and candlestick-makers clamoring for custom. Of late years, however, White House stewards per- attend to all of the Executive en ironclad rule to discontinue the patronage of any merchant proclaiming himself ‘‘ purveyor to his Iexcellency, the President,”’ or otherwise announcing that he enjoys the Executive patronage. However, there is a t irkey breeder who twice each year receives a generous slice of free advertising from newspapers which relig- iously announce his gift of the giant bird that is to be the i fance upon the White House menu on Christ- who sonally marketing — are required by mas or Thanksgiving Day. Many journals annually reproduce his photograph hold- ing aloft the Presidential! bird. Mr. Roosevelt has been fighting, tooth and nail, those who use his portrait in advertisements of any character An example as to how he wages his crusade is the recent case of the chamber of commerce of Spokane, whatsor er which on the title-page of an advertising pamphlet repro- duced one of the President's photographs. Immediately the president of the chamber received from: the White House a letter requesting that the publication be recalled. Although there was n¢ the chamber of ¢ » law compelling them to comply, at once canceled their order for ommeres 10,000 copies and commenced to call in those already distributed Even before his election Mr. Roosevelt found his portrait rs which the liberty of naming for him in spite of the fact that Early in his first Administration an adorning boxe ol cig manufacturers had

taken the he does noi smoke effort was made to copyright the trade-mark ** Roosevelt Rose,’’ but the examiner of trade-marks refused to register the title on the ground that a living celebrity is entitled to protection against the use of his name, by others, for trade purposes After a President's death, however, his name may be registered as a trade-mark by the first comer. Thus have most of our Presidents been immor- talized The testimonial-seekers are by far the most persistent of these commercial pests, striving to make capital out of the President. There regularly arrived at the White House addressed to Mrs. Harrison a certain cosmetic for the hair, and, although these samples were never seen by her, the manufacturer advertised his product as regularly used by that lady of the White House.”’ A glove concern ‘sent to President Harrison a sample of its product and the stereo- typed letter of acknowledgment from the White House office was the star feature of the concern’s exhibit at the Chicago Exposition. Access to the ne President was, hook or a man

Whee!

by some who had and who, without erook gaine

invented an artificial any warning, daubed the Presidential frock-coat smelling concoction, to dispel the of which Mr. Harrison was well-nigh

The gray Spooky-spook is a creature so weird That he frightens himself half to death, As he shrieks through the midnight and tugs at his beard While good folk lie holding their breath ; And he faints dead away till the of day, While his blood runs as cold as a clam, As he sits in his gloom on the roof of a tomb And thinks: ** Gadzook ! For For the gray Spooky-spook What a cheerful companion he is! As he tells, turning green, Of the murders he’s seen, Till his knees and his knuckles are friz When the gray Spooky-spook has a mind to THE SATURDAY EVENING POST Exploiting a Chief Executive By John Elfreth WatKins printed, and pasted one on each box of the commended cigars. Ina private letter, President McKinley chanced to praise a steamer in which he made a trip on the Great Lakes. Directly afterward the bill-boards of every city in the country were aflame with this testimonial Some time ago a firm of piano-makers presented to the nation a grand piano decorated in gold and said to have cost $15,000. It was installed in the East Room of the White House amid ceremony, the president of the firm making the speech of presentation and the President of the United States accepting the gift formally. Then followed several musical selections on the instrument by officers of the firm, the entire ceremony being described in detail in the morning papers. This was one of the best-directed advertising schemes ever effected. The President could not decline what was not a gift to himself but to the nation, and the piano now stands in the great public parlor of the White House, where hundreds of sightseers admire it daily and, of course, observe the trade-mark of the makers. Far less ingenious, yet far more flagrant, was a piano- advertising scheme to which President Cleveland fell victim. ¢ Rooseve i

fashion. means Roosevelt, in his anti f whose been a certain subtle sense. The name of a hero is esteemed for a sort of magic virtue. But, after all, the luckiest beneficiary of the advertising value conferred by the Presidency is the Chief Magistrate himself. An ‘‘author's edition oe of Mr. Roosevelt's works, each volume signed by the President, has sold for as muct as $3200. Mr. Cleveland was a poor man wher he entered the White House, but what money he could rake and scrape out of his salary he real estate in the f invested in suburbs of

Page 13

Washington. He occupied one summer home, thereby causing a boom in land values. He sold it at an enor- mous profit and bought another place with the same result. His purchases gave fashionable importance to the

localities where they were made, whether he dwelt the property or not. As soon as he after his second term, real estate all about took a boom, the magic of the ex-Presidential presence being almost as potent as that of the Presidential. And the literary honorariums of ex-Presidents blast such small fry as novelists with bitter envy. In fact, neither John | Sullivan, Bill Devery nor Nan Patterson could ever demand such handsome rates for their comments on passing events Tales of Thomas Tabb By Henry M. Hyde ‘““T’M AFRAID we're stuck for this Stillson account began old Fergus, the treasurer white head despondently. ‘*What’s that?’’ asked Thomas Tabb, ignorance which did not usually exist “Our New plained. They’re owing us $80,000, and I hear « Stillson has gone broke can’t get a cent out of them. ‘And when we signed up with them for January,” put in Fergus, ‘‘the Peter offered Stillson a bonus of $75,000 to sha their goods exclusively loo bad they ** Peters?” questione d Thomas Tabt .inh Vating way. “That big Detroit concern,’’ Rixton ex “They hired away Jordan, our crack New York salesman, you remember, the time they this deal with Stillson & Son. They’ right across the street from ours on Broadway ‘I'm going down to New York to-night Tabb, after a moment’s thought. ‘‘ Fergus, make out the papers and I'll see what | can do with it.” upon moved to Princeton his new home shaking his who affected an York sales-agents, you know,” Rixton ex- 1d man trving to beat Wall Street. We another year la Motor Company and take Ke u on t accept Ss most aggra-

about were trving to make Ve opened an office Loo ’ said Thomas am Joplin’s Epigastric Nerve An Adventure in Dietetics By F. HopKinson Smith It wi aking Samuel Epigastrie Joplin, his brother painters called him. ‘‘ You treat your stom- ach if it asket and you dump into it everything you lay ; “Tdo? You caricature of a codfish ball “Yes, you d You open your mouth, pin back your ears and in go pickles, red cabbage, Dutch cheese It's insanity, Marny, and it’s vulgar. No man’s epigastric can stand it. It wouldn't make any di if you were a kangaroo with your pouch on the outside, but you're a full grown man and ought to have some common-sense.”’ “And you think that if OU too much, Marny Joplin, of Boston, who was spe eat is

were a scrap-b as fference Il followed your idiotic theory it would keep me out of my coffin, do you? What you want, Joppy, isa square meal. You never had one, so far as I can find out, since you were born. You drank sterilized milk at blood temperature until you were five; chewed patent, unhulled wheat bread until you were ten, and since that time you've filled your stomach with husks— proteids, and

carbohydrates, and a lot of such truck t that what he calls ‘em, Pudfut?”’ The Englishman nodded in assent “And now just look at you, Joppy, instead of a forty- inch chest ss “And a sixty-inch waist,” interjected Joplin with laugh, pointing at Marny’s waistcoat “Lacknowledge it, old man, and I’m proud of it,” retorted Marny, patting his rotundity. ‘‘Instead, I say, of a decent chest your shoulders crowd your breast-l gastric, as you call it—it’s your solar plexus, Joppy that’s a trifle to an anatomist like y scrapes your backbone, so lonely is it forsomet hing warm and digestible to rub up against, and your Why, Joppy, do you know when I look at you and think over your wasted life, my eyes fill with tears? and give your stomach a surprise coming up~ I smell it. New England bean, and take and greens. Don’t that put and Schénholz help Joppy to his feet and one or two of you fellows walk behind to pick up the in he falls apart before we can feed him There line's dinner-bell!”’ White-« appe d, rosy-chee ked, bare-armed Tine had rung that bell for this group of painters for two years past since Mynheer Boudier of the “* Bellevue” once claimed her services, had reproved Johann, the porter, blocking up with the hotel trunks that part of the a one: your t pi but ou your epigastric Eat something solid, old man, Dinner’s our port nostril, you shriveled the aroma of lifeinto you? Puddy, you 6 Begin now ( dpe ny n beatific pork new ou pieces Cast ever over the way, who for

THE SATURDAY EVENING morning the old man rez conference with the elder Stillson ile agent was desperate, and inclined to be defiant We haven't got a cent he declared (ot course, \ can throw us into bankruptcy if 1 War but th won't settle your clain There's one other thing I ean di homas Tabb put sharply I can have you and ir son arrested f embezzlement.”’ Old Stillson straightened up in his chair and his face gre purple But I don't think that will be necessa Tabb went quickly. If you'll follow my instruction vel ‘ ! you owe us and leave ou in better shape tha ire! to continue Dusiness Do you ¢ eT it Ji Be star salesman?’ ‘He’s with the Peters (ompart stu nm ar vere “Their office is right across Broadway from « ind th keep tab on « erybody wl comes Into our place Part Jordan's work is to follow ther up alter the leave « office and try to block our sales Thomas Tabb lowered his voice and described in dets the plan he had worked out As he went on, the expression on Stillson’s face gradually changed t shrewd admiration Finally he 0 } ! | labl hand and irted back to } office I'll be down al t eleven 0'¢ 1’ the 1 ca ifter him. On the hour, Thomas Tabb drove down Br lwa hig automobile lhe stupid chauffeur started t the office of the Peters M r Compar labt cK Tt head « of the auto, on the de nearest the it " " angrily ordered the man to go ac the stre He vy seen and identified by Jordan and others in the Peters offic They watched him as he entered the Stillson salesroom a approached the senior par er, WhO Wa andr ni view at the big front show-window It was plair I Thomas Tabb was in an angry mood lr} Vay he the chauffeur had shown that Now he w I t t Stillson desk heavy blows with his fist and ! papers In the face of the sales-agent. Stillson replied

Hearing No Response She Pushed Open the Door and Looked In POST i ( "7 a il { ehe ) ‘ tre ‘ ( th ‘ 4 equauly angr WAS C¢ ull pa NT Wi i t tse ‘ at ul eal Then | I ma la ler W Wt I} ‘ I ext it Jordan ke ‘ Mex ‘ Ye the bene d out here around here f \ he sa ir alr t supe lt uw 1 Pete Tabb te Ther 1 the i Fina N M r clothe ise ( n har eand ou t-on-the ! lille ¢ alt Drich i il «} mi t t i ' roof th the ‘T prea ‘ } ! } the i it tn ibove ne n over qua nd ng nad erfe es-agetr uid Jordar 1 jua ind J in came o right t e me } h ther | we | hard ur ' Mr. St " } } ‘T { , ' time. } { , hy ‘ t ! is read ene he be evear. Fina Lletr net tand } } he ’ } ‘ th } ' \W\ } . ‘T, { } } j < H ‘ " | ‘ ind | ‘ — Ne { ‘ } , } ' ‘ i ‘ l } , } ‘ i i ! il " hy now on f f } et a lop » th of the H 1 Arr he mil } } ol ft} 1 » the i iD } int } } } , } } | ha ’ | | t tea ! ‘ :s red f } ‘ rting the } lumber kened eof } 1} ‘ } , of the f Delft a cer ’ } intel , rn re al ! ‘ il f } toy

‘ i har f the New Yor thice \ he en Present Tab , ADs atl hrow the he floor ‘ vi hed by St v} ; : | ed | the ol ! ind ‘ i il N. I T ‘ i } apped i " wit the or P a Whisper it the A he asks ered } | Then, a f } r} t} flice. he ent \ 1 ore J i 1 <¢ om ha “al MAN s¢ ‘ ‘ of triumpt i of 1 \ ‘ ‘ ‘ he Tacs Tstil ! iter Th lal ‘ rece ds , valk over which the eamboat ! 1} ingy | Phereuy Pine ped her prett thefeot it he hit , hy ind Johar have be« Ca lin et} h “ i ilked raight ‘ t Holland \ } ' i } ) vat captain, backed 1 ! tt flord ho rubs his hands ir ‘ he | ‘ f } ! ‘ I the if paints } } lohan . hose and na hoae ¢ her hile i i ! end ‘ } } i he retel ' } ' Hoar th rut ( are ! irtacein ft} 1 { n? lene t ! f

P } he } , } f the } \i heer I } | +} } ‘ ‘ Maas, can | r a cont n fr far r hoa " ’ ’ m , ‘ ‘ | deboard nits } ‘ e mantel hold t! 1) i ire pinned, tacke i roup il ] ‘ t !

Page 14

THE SATURDAY EVENING POST L a ——__—_—____—_— — - la Md “Order, Gentlemen! The Learned Bean is Most Interesting and Should Not be Interrupted” color, pencil and charcoal, many without frames and most of them bearing the signature of poor, stranded painter, preceded by the suggestive line, ‘‘To my deat friend, the landlord’ —silent reminders all of a small cash balance which circumstances quite beyond their control had prevented their liquidating at the precise hour of their departure some Mynheer bowed and smiled as each new contribution was handed him and straightway found a hammer and up it beside its fellows He never made objection: the more the merrier. The ice wind would soon blow across the Maas fr: Pape ndrecht, the tall grasses in the marshes turn pale with fright, and the lace-frost with busy fingers pattern the tins , and then Johann would pack the went pane kits one after another, and the last good-bys take place But the sketches would remain and tell the story of th mn er to those who came to feast their eyes, and every night new mugs would be filled around the coal-fire, and pipes lighted —mugs and pipes of the townspeople thi me —and, although the summer was gone, the long winter No, Mynheer ne ver objecte d! And this simple form of }s atr P ty patronage settlement —a note of hand (in 1 year had not been confined to modern time Many aninn owed its survival toa square the head of a child, a copper pot, or stretch of dune; and more than one collector now boasts of a master- which had hur for vears on some taproom wall, a sure but sjlent witne of the poverty of a Franz Hal Wouverman or Van der Helst Fach vear had brought new addition group about My Dear old Marny, with hi to the impecuniou nheer’s table big boiler amidships, his round u rned face shaded by a wide-brimmed, slouch hat th ne he wore when he lived with the Sioux Indians e red tit ed over one shoulder, and rusty velveteen it, was an old habitue And so was drv, crustv Malone man fro I) ! gh out le as a potato and hite inside as its meal. And so, too, was Stebbins, tl le ma f the party, and the only listener in the group All these car he earliest birds a taved until the " + onst 48 ate ] he h th ear were new Pudfut, the English- in, f t ! N i where } had been sketchir board me lo ht } } lv brown beard n ulster rea tow iv-checked i r ip ind brierwood pipe—an ¢ hich he never changed lept in them Ma r i M ime’s Pudf he ha holding out his ha o M: I've i letter ( hes fe ef . ip in | Don't ; ill it i i come ! i Ve Shake! and thin an } the et fell h irm through t} I hmar had t in allover Dort from the Gro Ket the Gate of W i Orange, introduc hir ‘ pa her ( iy, first as Pudf thenas Pud he Pre foot, the lootsie-Woot ind last as Toot ime t hich he vn in th Quartier to th , rt lone, he had taken him up his own room and had dumped him into an extra cot —} for the rest of the summer Phen Schénhol gulden a week board good-natured German lad with forehead so high that when he raised his hat Marny declared, with a ery of alarm, that his scalp had slipped and only regained his peace of mind when he had twisted wandered in was the magnet a cheese-faced his fat fingers in the lad’s forelock to make sure that it was Schénholz had passed a year at Heidelberg and still fast. carried his diploma on his cheek that had never healed rows of horn buttons. for his laziness. Last came Joplin and as shiny. a man of thirty-five; ogist.) Gaunt, wiry clock and as regular in his habits two glasses, sipped slowly ; three meals a day and no more; of food thirty times (Gladstone had taught him that, he boasted) to his clothes—everything he used, in fact. knickerbockers ended in leather leggins to ipe-stem shanks; his shirts buttoned all the day and a health shirt at night Aunt Margaret's wrapper,” to Pudfut); voice stuck a five-hundred-dollar scarab pin in told the truth Joplin’s dialeet phonographed so that it might be handed down to posterity as the only real é orrect thing Are you noticing, gentlemen, the lin hand his mother shad shouted across the table: way in tongue?”’ never ts his first syllable cent on the ‘/ drops his ‘g's,’ never sligh SaVvS mor with an a the fact that he pronounces ‘bonnet ‘a thing when he really like’ it, you could never discover yur wallets and ‘admires rht onlv to‘] h bringing up. Out with y« ich do you chip in?” soon made Joplin the rm-centre of every discussion Not These peculiarities only I ews on! tion ridiculed, but all ! fads were treated with equal disre pect essior : plein air,”’ the old “line engraving’ in contrast to the modern half- tone’’ methods any opinion of J »plin’s, no matter how sane or logical, was jostled, sat on, punched in the ribs and otherwise maltreated until every man was breathless or black in the face with assumed rage —every man except the man jostled, who never lost his temper no matter what the provocation, and who always two crisscross slashes spoke battered English, wore a green flat-topped cap, and gray bobtailed coat with two (‘Come to shoot chamois, haven't you?’’ Marny asked when he presented his credentials.) He laughed three-quarters of the time he was awake, and never opened his kit or set a palette while he was in Dort. “Too vet and too fodgy all dime,” was the way he accounted bald as an egg (‘* Dangerous to have a hen around,’’ Marny would say, rubbing the pate after the manner of a phrenol- jerky in his movements as a Yankee hot water when he got up cold water when he went to bed, head first, feet next, then the rest of him; window open all night no matter how hard it blew or rained; eat chewed every mouthful coffee, soup, even his drinking-water a walking laboratory of a man, who knew it all, took no layman's advice, and was as set in his ways as a chunk of concrete. And his fads did not stop with his food; they extended His baggy protect * Way | down in front and went on like a coat; he wore health flannels by “Just like my old whispered Marny in a stage sported a ninety-nine-cent silver watch fastened to a leather strap (sometimes to a piece of twine his necktie Nothing finer in the Boston Museum,” he maintained, and and ever and a! ways enunciated an English pure and so undefiled that Stebbins, after listening to it for a few minutes, proposed, with an irreverence born of good-fellowship, that a subscription be started to have May 12, 1906 **Smite away, came up smiling with some such remark as you Pharisees; harmony is heavenly—but stupid. Keep it up—here’s the other cheek!”’ On this particular night Joplin had broken out on diet. Some movement of Marny’s connected with the temporary relief of the lower button of his waistcoat had excited the great Bostonian’s wrath. The men were seated at dinner inside the coffee-room, Johann and Tine serving. ‘*Yes, Marny, I’m sorry to say it, but the fact is you eat too much and you eat the wrong things. If you knew anything of the kinds of food necessary to nourish the human body, you would know that it should combine in proper proportions proteid, fats, carbohydrates small percentage of inorganic salts these are undergoing oxidation and at the are liberating energy in the form of heat ‘*Hear the bloody bounder! other end of the table. Silence!’’ called Marny fingers, an expression of the farthest-away-boy-in-the- and a constantly same time bawled Pudfut from the with his ear cupped in his class on his face. Joplin waved his hand in protest and continued, without heeding the interruption: ** Now, if you're stupid enough to stuff your epigastrium with pork, you, of course, get an excess of non-nitrogenous fats, and in order to digest any- thing properly quantity of carbohydrates greens, potatoes, whatever Tine shoves under your nose. Consult any scientist and see if I am not right especially the German doctors who have made a specialty of nutrition. Such men as Fugel, Beenheim and , Here a slice of Tine’s freshly-cut bread made a line-shot, struck the top of Joplin’s scalp, caromed on Schénholz’s shirt-front and fell into Stebbins’ lap, followed instantly by “Order, gentlemen!”"’ from Marny. Don't that slab of proteid. The learned Bean is most interesting and should not be interrupted.” ‘Better out than in,” continued Joplin, brushing the crumbs from his plate. ‘* Bread —-fresh bread particularly is the very worst thing a man can put into his stomach.” “And how about pertaties?”’ Malone. ‘I s'pose ye’d rob us of the only thing that’s kep’ us alive as a nation, wouldn't ye?”’ ‘**T certainly would, Loney, except in very small quan- tities. Raw potatoes contain twenty-two per cent. of the worst form of non-nitrogenous food, and seventy-eight per cent. of water. You, Malone, with your sedentary habits, should never touch an ounce of potato. It excites the epigastric nerve and induces dyspepsia. You're as lazy as the devil and should only eat nitrogenous food and never in excess. What you require is about one hundred grams of protein, giving you a fuel value of twenty-seven hundred calories, and to produce this fifty-five ounces of food a day is enough. When you exceed this you run to flesh —unhealthy bloat really—and in the wrong places. You’ve only to look at Marny’s waist-line to prove the truth of this theory. Now look at me— I keep my figure, don’t 1? Not a bad one for a light-weight, is it? I’m in perfect health, can run, jump, eat, sleep, paint, and but for a slight organic weakness with my heart, which is hereditary in my family and which kills most of us off at about sevent vears of age, I’m as sound asa nut. And all ! let me tell you, due to my observing a few scientific laws regard- ing hygiene which you men never seem to have heard of.” Malone now rose to his feet, pewter mug in hand, and swept his eye around the table. ‘“‘Bedad, you're right, Joppy,”’ he said witha wink y at Marny—‘‘food’s the ; drink is you must necessarily cram in an additional cabbage waste shouted 7 +) Fay 1 ruination of us al All at Work in the Old Shipyard

Page 15

what wewant. On yer feet, ginthkemen—every mither’s son of ye! Here's to the learned, livin’ skeleton from Boston! Five per cint. man and ninety-five per cint. crank!” i HE next morning the group of painters—all except Joplin, who was doing a head in ‘“‘smears"’ behind the Groote Kerk a mile away —were at work in the old ship- yard across the Maas at Papendrecht. Marny was paint- ing a Dutch lugger with a brown-madder hull and an emerald-green stern, up on the ways for repairs. Pudfut had the children of the Captain posed against a broken windlass rottir g in the tall grass near the do« k, and Malone and Schénholz, pipe in mouth, were on their backs smoking. “Tt wasn't their kind of a mornin’,”” Malone said. Got to sit on Joppy some way or we'll be talked to death,” broke out Pudfut as he Squet 1a tube of color on his pale tte. ‘‘Getting to be a bloody nuisance,” Only one way to fix him,” remarked Stebbins, picking up his mahlstick from the grass beside him. “How?” came a chorus Scare him to death.’ Everybody laid down their brushe Stebbins rarely expressed an opiniot any utterance from him, therefore ir ried weight. Go for him about his health, I t vou,’ continued Stebbins, dr: brush from the sheaf in his hand ut there’s nothing the matter w d Marny. as a coal-mine mule, but he’s got pl nt of kick in him yet “You're dead right, Marny,” ar swered Stebbins, *‘ but he don’t thin

him,’ answere

s He’s as big a fool over every little pain as he is over his theories.” Niver cracked his jaw to me about it,’ sputtered Malone from between the putis of his pipe “No, and he won't. I don’t jump him as you fellows do and so I get his conhdence, He's in my room two or three times every night going over his symptoms. When his foot's asleep hi thinks he’s got creeping paralysis. Every time his breath comes short, his heart giving out.” “That's hereditary!” said Marny ‘he said so. ‘Hereditary be

i! Same with everything else. Last night he dug me out of bed and wanted me to count hi pulse—thought it intermitted. He's hipped, I tell you, on his health!”’ *That’s because he lives on nothing, rejoined Marny. ‘Tine puts the toast in the oven over night so it will be dry enough for him in the morning —sh« told me so yesterday. Now he’s running sour milk and vinegar—‘ blood too alkaline,’ he Sas got a chalky taste his mouth!” r Well, whatever it is, he’s a rum- nuisance,”’ said Pudfut, ‘‘and he ought

THE SATURDAY EVENING POST bilious, maybe nerve; maybe it’s your liver and will pa off, but I'd kr \ hed | i OWT it J ? who rt ( otf work for Malone 1 Let me happened 1 Never f l'll

} t th back to

Stet 1h Cy ‘g Phen he q

’f course I'm well! Sound as a nut hand, and that 1 ‘ 1 la vith ) but that's nothing. Why nd, clattered over the helf ithered g! Must say, though, you gave me a twist empty mu ind disa on you uddenly Mavbe it your epigast! lone the tere are thew t ’ t iinet adaayv or tw W took a Nand ihat ' t i i i tw not heavy +, I ud 1 he iickened his pace th VY were ali on their w Mir ! na i | \

to be jumped on <5 *“Yes,”’ retorted Stebbins, ‘‘but not And Asked with an Anxious Tone in His Voice: “Aren't You Well, Old Man?" the boat cl ' \ about his food. Jump on him about his health, then he'll kick back and in pure obstinac begin to think he’s well—that's his nature Don’t you do anything of the kind,"’ protested Marny ; Joppy’s all right best lad I know. Let him talk; don’t hurt anybody and keeps everything alive. A little hot air now and then helps his ¢ pigastric.’ Malone and Schénholz raised themselves on their elbows, twisted their shoulders and put their he literally —without lifting their lazy bodies f ing is together

rom the warm, ary grass —so close that one slouch hat instead of two might have covered their conspiring brains. From under the rims of these thatches came smothered laughs and such unintelligible mutterings as: **Dot’s de vay, by chimminy, "Loney! And den I ——’ ‘No, begorra! Let me have a crack at him fu'st!”’ “No, I vill before go and you come <

Nota word to Marny, remimber; he'd give it away ——” “ Yes, but we vill tell Poodfut und Sthebbins, eh?” That afternoon the diabolical plot was put in motion The men had finished for the day; had crossed the fe rry and had found Joplin wandering around the dock looking for a new subject. The Groote Kerk “‘smear"’ was under his arn Pudfut, under pretense of inspecting the smear—a por- trait of the old Sacristan on a bench in front of the main Sostonian, entrance —started back in surprise on seeing the and asked with an anxious tone in his voice Aren't you well, old man? Look awful yellow about the gills W orked too hard haven't you? No use overdoing it

on his way When the Tine to his Di eae i: Nasser He i vo '

Page 16

14 THE SATURDAY EVENING POST FOUNDED A°D‘ 1728 PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY BY THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY 423 TO 427 ARCH STREET GEORGE HORACE LORIMER, EDITOR PHILADELPHIA, MAY 12, 1906 | Important Notice to | Readers | On June First the present club subscrip- tion price of THE SATURDAY EVENING POST will be withdrawn, and the regular subscription price will be fixed at $1.50 the year flat. Those who are not sub- | scribers should send their orders at once ; those who are subscribers may renew their | subscriptions at the present club price of $1.25, the new subscription to commence | at the expiration of the present one. | You may subscribe for one, two, three or four years. We cannot accept a sub- scription for any longer period. FIVE DOLLARS WILL PAY FOR A FOUR YEARS’ SUBSCRIPTION. If you are already a subscriber, please state that fact when you send your order. There remain only three weeks in which to subscribe for THE SATURDAY EVENING POST at its present price. The Snob at the Theatre It is pathetic to 50 « Sell-re specting ares society play is as popular as ever. see, night night, hundreds of American men and women sit absorbed before one of these ersions of ‘high life Tender mothers and good fathers till thrill at the awful presence of the family butler and take sporty young man who liy after + serous Interest in tne es in ‘hambers”’ and has a ‘“‘man.”’ The polite heroine still haunts this same bachelor apartment with her attendant iid, and get hut up in the « loset, thus compromising her name’ and necessitating heroie action and furious lying from the sport young man. The motor-car has been rked to death and turned over to the vaudeville houses t ve } e the hunt club”’ and the “‘h reakf t breakfast | and in one of the season’s plays the triumph is accomplis of introducing these able-bodied followers of the aniseed bay. correctly dressed in full red coats and black beaver into a greenhouse with real plants and steam MalaLOl A good deal of our stage snobbery is English in origin. The life of the English ‘‘lower classes”’ is presumably so dull that a glin pse on the stage of the habits of their su- periors, with their house-parties and scandals, their titles and servants, may be exciting but why bring it over here? Of course, the society play must be well put on, as nearly the real thing as author and actor can manage to make it for the American woman gets from the stage her ideas of how smart people dress and behave to one another. She may believe in ordinary life that a low-cut gown is an inven- tion of the devil, and cards the road to hell, but on the stage THE SATURDAY EVENING POST of the ‘creations”’ she gets a sympathetic thrill from the star, and loves to hear the meaningless terms of bridge. What her husband finds in the play would be harder to say. Meantime, life goes on, lots of it, all about us—life with more real drama in it than the world has ever seen before. Men still sell their souls for big plunder, and women their bodies for a share of the spoils. Men still starve themselves for others and fight their enemies for bread. But the drama of such life rarely gets on the stage. We have Jeromes, Lawsons, Andy Hamiltons and Rockefellers; but the public prefers to see how “‘ the real sort’ dress and eat their dinners. A white shirt-front and an evening gown exert a universal fascination. Who would not believe that men and women are apes? Government — Up a Tree Freese narra circles at Washington are still agitated by Judge Humphrey's decision in the packers’ case, and there is rather earnest questioning as to whether something cannot be done to put the Government in a less ludicrous position. That should ever be an object of patri- otic solicitude. We hope that fortune will favor the present cogitations. It was thought desirable that the National Government, being charged with the duty of regulating interstate commerce, should know something about the methods with which that commerce is conducted, and be provided with machinery to discover and put in the way of correction whatever grave abuses may exist therein. This was the main idea, we take it, in creating the Depart- ment of Commerce and Labor and vesting it with certain powers to investigate. But, as the law stands, according to Judge Humphrey's decision, the Government has the alternative of investigating without power to correct, or, if correcting, without power to investigate. If it elects to investigate, it must agree not to invoke the punitive laws in case it discovers violations of them. Or it can go it blind and ask indictments. It will be admitted, we think, that this is not an agreeable position for a Government to be in. Nobody would like to be charged with a duty and then compelled to surrender the power to fulfill it before he could enter into the pre- requisites of its fulfillment. Nobody would like to be set to catch a mule with the condition that he must ride the mule to catch him. At just what point in the legal involu- tions the Government put itself in this unenviable state we do not pretend to know. Whether it can be rescued there- from and stood on its feet instead of its head, without doing violence to the Constitution, is also not a question for the mere lay mind. We recall, however, that, in such matters as running the custom offices and collecting internal rev- enue, the Government both investigates and prosecutes. The State Between Friends N INDIANA State official, now under conviction for embezzlement, was ‘“‘the victim of circumstances,” according to the view of some 21,000 friendly citizens who signed a petition to the Governor, praying that he be pa- roled. And it clearly appears from Governor Hanley’s statement denying the prayer that this is true. The Governor points out that the official, immediately upon coming into office, took $20,000 of State money to pay his personal debts being an honorable debtor and having no other resources. A little later he had the misfortune $10,000 at cards—-the State treasury naturally standing the shot. Again, he invested the public’s money in oil wells and gold mines that turned out badly, and friends to whom he lent sums that were in his official keeping neglected to pay him. In short, circumstances seem to have formed a perfect conspiracy to victimize the unhappy official, who actually lost almost every dollar that he stole. Phe 21,000 citizens who signed the petition in the offi- cial's behalf are probably no different from their neighbors, except in that they, or many of them, know the man per- , and so are able to see him as the ‘‘good fellow in hard luck,”’ whereas others see simply the thief of public funds Probably not one of them would condone pocke t- picking or burglary, but the State is such an impersonal, intangible thing It is hard to visualize a crime against it when there is a good fellow on the otherside. What is the Constitution between friends ? Are We Done with the Novel? HE day of the novel is gone, the critics are saying, and some of them add rather ill-naturedly: ‘‘And good riddance — it Was a poor thing at the best, without form, and mentally weakening. Let us have more drama and fewer stories."’ According to the critics, the novel has already died out a good many times; for instance, just before Scott began to spin his yarns, and again after Thackeray and Dickens had got through with theirs. But the novel has shown surprising vitality, coming up in some fresh, inter- esting form every time when a new story-teller happened along who had something to say about life that could not to lose Hy Sonal! its money doesn’t cost it anything. May 12, 1906 be squeezed into a two-hour play or canned into an essay. At present there seems to be no such story-teller on the horizon, and the stage is having its turn. Something in the conditions of modern life — its intense activity and dramatic pressure — would seem to prepare the way for a period of dramatic revival. Let us pray that it will come, giving us some strong, passionate plays of real men and women. Meantime, the novel is secure as a literary form as long as the world continues to be and people are as they have been from the time of Job. As a literary form, it has shown remarkable vitality and power of adaptation to new social conditions. We don't care for most of the novels of our grandmothers, but the best of them live on. Probably our children won't read Lady Rose’s Daughter, or even The House of Mirth, but they may take down Treasure Island or Tess or Kim from the upper shelves. And they will have wonderful stories of their own. For the novel covers life as a whole as no other form of literature ever has covered it. It shows us people, not in a flashlight, but leisurely, thoroughly, with some of the com- pleteness that life itself has. And it shows us the world in which men and women live, the world of Nature and things, the world of ideas and feelings which make them what they are. Solong as man appeals to man, so long as man is inter- ested in his own fate, we shall have novels. Uncle Joseph at Seventy ONGRATULATIONS to Uncle Joseph Cannon upon the felicitous occasion of his seventieth birthday should be numerous and hearty~—all the more so because the Speaker has been a faithful and valiant soldier in a cause which is petering out before his eyes. His political faith, as we understand it, may be briefly stated as follows: The proper object of government is to promote business. Busi- ness has flourished wonderfully under Republican admin- istration. A high protective tariff is the distinctively Republican doctrine. Hence high tariff the greatest good of which government is capable, and whoever opposes the party of high tariff isan enemy of national well- being. This creed has the advantage of precision. Almost a whole generation of statesmen have found it sufficient for their careers. The fact that it is petering out raises the disquieting presumption that statesmanship is going to become a more difficult art for the practitioners of the coming generation. People are beginning to say that a country spilling over with natural resources may be very prosperous under a faulty economic rule. Worse than that, they are inquiring whether a huge bank-balance is necessarily the sign of highest possible well-being of a nation, any more than it is of a life-insurance company. The question of who really gets the benefit of the balance is attracting attention Worst of all, they are getting into a state of mind where they would as soon think of shedding their blood in defense of the hotel that harbors them over night as of rallying toa party’s colors in that spirit of impassioned loyalty which Uncle Joseph and his friends have so often invoked. The party, like the hotel, is a convenience — something to be used and duly paid for while it meets their needs. If you are riding out of loyalty to the railroad, the conductor's duties are easy. If you are riding because you want to get some- where in particular, certain explanatory powers on his part Uncle Joseph has been a valiant soldier for May he have many happy returns achieves are necessary. the faith that is in him. of the day. Where History Will be Made ROM time to time the public is reminded, rather incidentally, that the President will soon have the appointing of at least two justices of the Supreme Court Not much is said about it beyond a hope, here and there mildly expressed, that he will pick ‘‘goodmen.”” Secretary and former Judge Taft has been conspicuous as a probable candidate, or victim. One hears mention of Judge Gross- cup of Chicago, who achieved some note by his adminis- tration of the wrecked traction system of that city when it came into his court in receivership proceedings; also, by his advocacy of a queer, amusing, academic scheme for what he calls the *‘ peopleizing”’ of our national industries. On the whole, however, the public pays very little at- tention to these impending appointments, content in the faith that the President will select ‘‘good men.”” That he will do so is a matter of course. Yet there may be a vast difference in the character, bent and sympathies of perfectly ‘‘good’’ men; and the sympathies and associations of two new justices of the Supreme Court may, in the next ten years, be of more practical importance to the people of the United States than is the character of the incumbents of the White House in that period. We now see very clearly that certain forces have abused the practically unlimited license which they have enjoyed. Probably theextent and temper of the efforts to restrain them wiil make political history for the next decade. Here the Supreme Court will be all important. Everything that Congress does will be subject to its review. The personal bent of two justices may easily be the decisive fact in shaping the Court's opinions.

Page 17

The Human Molasses Factory ATE tried to conceal nine members of the House of Representatives by naming them Smith, and Fate had excellent success with several, but no Fate that ever in- dulged in such nefarious practices could conceal William Alden Smith, of Michigan. William Alden protests loudly against concealment. He is for full, frank, free publicity at all times —in regard to William Alden. There are four essentials in every politician’s bag of tricks the handshake, the smile, the pat on the shoulder and the ‘‘ Now, my boy.”’ William Alden has them all. He is Past Grand Master of the Order of the Glad Hand, Su- preme President of the Association of the Friendly Smile, and has many degrees in all other organizations for making a personal impression. William Alden is a wizard at it He shakes hands with the right hand —a long, clinging, warm, soulful shake—and he caresses the shoulder admir- ingly with the other hand; he smiles that beatific smik and he says, ‘‘ Now, my boy,” all at one and the same time four simultaneous greetings of glad regard And it gets them, it gets them! The y know William Alden out in Michigan. He calls them all by their first names. There is nothing reserved and shrinking about him. He is aware that the short for William is ‘‘ Bill,”’ and in two minutes by the clock he uses ‘‘ Bill.””. There is too much formality in intercourse among people, don’t think? William Alden comes from Grand Rapids incidentally, but of Michigan potentially. He glad-handed his way into Congress twelve years ago and he has smiled himself on the Ways and Means Committee and into a position of such consequence that he has announced himself for the seat in the United States Senate now occupied by General Russell A. Alger, and nobody laughs at his ambi- tion, which proves the smile has something back of it. He knows his folks. Various others in Michigan—numerous others, to be accurate —are looking for the same job. They are pulling strings, laying wires, digging pitfalls and building fences. Perhaps William Alden is doing that, too. Anyhow, he isn’t sitting and darkly plotting for control of the Legislature, nor making eyes at corporations, so far as can be noticed. William Alden has banner to the breeze. you other candidates,”’ he Says, “and with me for this nomination in the primaries or at an election! Let the people vote on it and declare the man whogets the most votes the party’s candi- date for Senator. Come on! ] double-dare you!” Thus far there has been no tu- multuous response to the invita- tion. The other aspirants are so used to having a few men get together in Detroit and fix it up that they do not know what to say. William Alden is as debo- nair about it as the tenor-singing lieutenant in a musical comedy. A short time ago he bought the Grand Rapids Herald, a newspaper of considerable influ- ence in his home city. Somebody said: ‘I suppose you bought that paper, Smith, for use in politics and to help along your campaign for the Senate?” ‘‘Well,” he replied, ‘I expect to use the Herald in poli- ties, of course. Itismy paperand I am in politics, but if you want to know the real reason why I bought it, I'll tell you I bought that paper because I used to sell it as on the streets of Grand Rapids. That's why They like William Alden in the House. He makes a good speech, rather florid, with rounded periods and some guff, but a good speech, as speeches go. He likes to talk about the sun-kissed dome of the Capitol” and ‘‘the palladium of our liberties,” and other highfalutin things, and after he goes into action he exudes that sort of stuff. Still, he has a clear head and, when you strip off the frills, you finda fair-sized chunk of pertinent talk. He isa consistent insur- gent when that dear-to-Michigan sugar-beet proposition comes around, and has the nerve to stand out for what he thinks is right and for what his people think is right —that would be the best way to put it —until the cows come home. In the early days of his Congressional career, before the Spanish War, he went with a newspaper exploring expedi- tion to Cuba, the object of which was to show Congress just what were the conditions under Weyler and, quite you as candidate flung his ““Come on, contest Edward Everett Hale Chaplain of the Senate a ne wsboy u } I] THE SATURDAY EVENING eee xx rz ewe eee =e William Alden Smith, of Michigan incidentally, of course, to advert the bills. He got it. those apologies for sidewalks that put all fat tourists « the cobblestones, when five Spanish soldiers came along single file. They had to goin single file, for not even Spi soldiers are thin enough to march two abreast on Havana sidewalks, and Spanish soldiers are only about nine inche wide and three inches thick, at that ‘‘Americano!”’ sneered the first in the face of William Alden, supplementing that observa tion with a few further remarks The other Spanish soldiers contributed to the sympo sium. William Alden was not « ethe newspaper that paid William Alden was on a search for publicity ther He was walking down Obispo Street, on one of itor inish Spanish soldier, right peciall) pron Spanish, but he understood the drift of the conversatior The Spaniards thought to shoulder him into the street William Alden smiled and said mildl Don't do that They tried again. Then William Alden stopped smiling and went into action After the battk Alden acted as hi word “With red the miscreants unt was over, William own war correspondent. These are hi tighty-rolled umbrella, I belab i they fled, and I pursued my way, unmolested further Wouldn't that mak« of Rollo? However, the story came back to the United States and the paragrapher and editorial writers laughed at William Alden and } tightly-rolled umbrella. He was full of h on Cuba when he got home and they gave him a ¢ the Hous to transfer it tothe public. At the proper time he ex with deep fervor **Any American citize weapon than a tightly-rolled umbrella to Spanish soldiers!’”” They yipped and hi the folks out in Michigan thoug! William Alden! Perhaps he didn’t know what the fe out in Michigan would think : Sooner or later he will get into the Senate. You « stop the man with the glad hand an vou think a Speer hance in claime n needs no othe whip a dozen vied at th and t it Was ¢r said a philosopher, ‘‘ catches mor in Vinegar I ‘flies’’ read ‘‘ votes,’’ and remen t W i \ ! the human molasses factory from Grand Ray i! he never goes on a strike Colonel Ingersoll’s Cure H. GILMORE, the New York e once engaged Robert G. Ingersoll, for four Sunda lectures at Gilmore's Garden, at $ The first lecture was delivered to i Phere was $3000 in the house on the secé night. O the following Tuesday, Colonel Ingersoll’s mat d Mr. Gilmore and said: ‘‘I’m very sorry, | the Col cannot lecture next Sunday night He has a very bad throat.” ‘*What’s the matter with it?’’ asked Gilmore ‘“‘Oh,” replied the manager, “he’s suffering considerably with it—sore, you know, and all that. Positively cannot lecture next Sunday night. Better make your announce- ments.” POST MEN @ WOMEN proot of it What is it?”’ asked the friend Si e comment ona public policy?” “No laughed the Senator ment on me here was a day re tly when I was the only Senator ir the chamber while the Chaplain offe praye f lentl the correspondents sent it out their papers, for I find nere in the ( pping nume ‘ T al « mimer or that « ur e, and « ry col ti il ‘ The edit iv tl { I needed to be there as much a il nm ( a t i! ad on the! N Now 1 ! rt time ‘ l i i il in Which I said that one re nf ha ( lt have had is | ause la i 1 I 1 What d ithink a i l il ragrapher iid i ed th ! " lI yu d tha r ir} ind ( i r that d of retting good men around me I got around good n € Senator W 15 Gilmore pondere There w ‘ i and uivance sale for the next ture He hunted up ¢ me I I] Sx Colone I Lik tha rt at re Bother you much Yes,” replied Inge ’ ery troublesome. | couldn't th fu ! e next Sunda Doi " I fori Oh, ve pra ind those tl} you G e Walked over and ‘ of he w ‘ l n he turn ind said I ( hink it we ‘ e that tl it if I gave for pe t.« e rece t the next two lectures instead of flat five hur ‘ ir : Really, Ned,” Ingersoll rephed L th K It We i And it did The Point of View ap arya rT HAI the Chapl 4 States Senat IS € iin of the United wht v-five ear old Mr. Hak aid amat ma fe days ago, “it seems to me that there are a good many old ! in the Senate.” Old men! ited the ¢ haplair I hadr ’ ced The onl reasonably mature men around here ire the Senators from Alabama eighty-four and Morvan is eight v-t we Platt Needed It [' SO fell out that, at noon one day recently, Senator Thomas C New York, was the only Senator in the chamber while the Chaplain made hi Nearly every correspondent telegraphed a paragraph of { pabout it, and the incident was forgotten until a weel or so later, when a friend who visited Senator Platt in |} ‘ ittee-room f d him reading a large batc} IT nev paper clippings and chuckling over ther I have alwa held uid tl Senator! that wme in different part of the ce« untry think about alike The Longest Way “Round ‘QOMETIMES,” said Andrew Carnegie, “I get a slay —O that n e fre har tators il MAKE rhe ! The Hall of Fame Murt Cra former Grover rof Ma i +} } neve p ’ it | th} ' ’ t at r € When he ned fror } iding p to ¢ Represe ‘ Lor th, the Presid n-law, brought Speaker Car nor ir two feet long, th and very black The Spe ingl Seem looked at it loy almost good enough to Senator Platt of New York on and eat he said

Page 18

16

Ruth Kimball Gardiner A Sophomore in Washington R' TH KIMBALL GARDINER, whose \V new . The Heart of a Girl, is one of book the season plea int stories, 18s a Western rl and received her first practical training vspaper office, Although born in Carlinville, Illinois, she was edu- ited in Fargo, N. D., Omaha and St. Paul She left the | of Minnesota in her awriterin a ne niversitv

Sophomore year to become the Washington correspondent of the St Paul Globe—the rst man tel graphic corre spondent en- ied in work of such importance. She then but little more than eighteen, but be at once to branch out into magazine wi ind has been quite successful, not only with her verses and fiction, but also with se ral serious economic studies Biography in the Dark lars marvelous exactitude with which, in his memoir, With Walt Whitman in hy h Camden, Horace Traubel is caught the il Whitman is matter of no small wonder » nearly all wh » kn Vv the poet But the t of Wh in's intimates are not ima 1 Piles yoo of them recent] | h Whitman daily, and

it jown all that Whitman had said that day. He had not only a per- fect memory: he ue so long lived close to Wi } abuler) and methods it if ni ’ Vhitman’s I remember that one evening I sat talk- ing to » poet in a completely darkened ym while rraubel | iay on a couch several feet away I thought he was a leep, but I we left I found that he had all the while been making a sort of shorthand ites in the dark John FisKe's Dimensions — k ISKE has been desc ribed a e

most retiring and least self-conscious of celebrities It is at least true that, of the large public which admired ~ only the most rf ite fraction kn Ww, has since learned, much of the nan’s i sonalit He wa lifelong companion, ibsolutely sani In fact, that he syreatest

might be che } was hi ind worst-founded fear He liked nothing better than to other men’s talk and, with his fund of quick sympathy and iseacre ap-

prec n, he was rarest of men, an ideal listener His 1 er, too, was al- ways open and his frankness was at times nearly be Vist ‘As for appearance, he looked the typical German university professor. His face was stolid in re pose his large Spe ctacles gave a queer prominence to his eves and his gray hair, red beard and light complex- 1oOn were in contrast. Not the curious

THE SATURDAY EVENING POST LITERARY FOL AV Hidden Dangers THEIR WAYS AND THEIR WORK least amusing thing about him was the fact that he was philosopher enough to take calmly that increase in physical bulk which kept pace with his mental growth. He was six feet tall, his weight was quite three hundred pounds, and he used to describe his dimensions as ‘72 x 56 inches.’”’ Bringing Up a Murderer HEODOSIA PICKERING GARRI- SON tells of one day going into the corridor of the apartment-house in which she lives and finding there a little stray kitten, crying miserably. She took it in, and later learned that it belonged to a family living upstairs, whereupon she took the kitten up to them, explaining why it had been so long away. “Oh, yes,”’ said the man of the family upstairs, ‘‘the kitten! Yes, that was our kitten, but we don’t want it.” ‘Doesn't it belong to you ?”’ asked Mrs Garrison in bewilderment “Oh, yes,”” said the man, “it did belong to us. But we let it out in the hall. We don't want it.” And aren't you going to do anything with it?”’ said Mrs. Garrison ‘Why, we let it out in the hall,” explained the man. “It will go away. We havea canary now. We don’t want the kitten.” Mrs. Garrison took the kitten to her apartment [shall train it up,” she said, ‘in the way a kitten should And when summer comes I’m afraid I hope that it will climb the fire-escape and eat the canary fo The Morning for Loomis HARLES BATTELL LOOMIS not ) one of those who do their best writing in the small hours of the night. ‘‘ Morning, he recently remarked to an acquaintance, is my time for work: breakfast at eight, then writing until about noon —first turn- the rough copy of the new idea vising the rough copy of the previous day Then in the afternoon I ge nerally run from my New Jersey home to Philadel- J shia or to New York and | 0k up th 1e editors This gets me | to Fanwood for dinner ing off next re ack and a quiet evening with my family or my books. And the latter, I may add, are generally of a solemn sort. I read very little present-day fiction and confine my choice of e¢ almost en- tirely t ntemporary writers pecial articles

» SeTLOUS Every Poet His Own Public \ A LUNCHEON at the White House f\ one day last spring there were present Mr. Henry C. Frick, of Pittsburg, Mr. Ansley Wilcox, of Buffalo, Mr. Richard Watson Gilder, editor of the Ce ntury Magazine, Mr Finley Peter Dunne, and, as the President expressed it, ‘other eminent humorists.”’ During the conversation, Mr. Roosevelt asked each member of the party to re late some story concerning one of the others One sa 1 went up to the Century one day to call on the editor. He was busily engaged in reading one of the manuscripts which pour in upon him While I Waiting, a small boy, dragging a great truck filled with books, passed me In front of the elevator he stopped and wiped his brow. I looked

r

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over the books and found the whole lot to be volumes of Mr. Gilder’s poems ‘Are Mr. Gilder’s books selling well now?’ I asked ‘Well,’ said the boy without a glimmer of humor in his Gilder ain't been buyin’ <eTlIOUS eVeS, many lately ‘Mr Mark Twain's Solo M4 ARK TWAIN got his training as a a peaker in the palmy days of the lee- ture whe nevery popular American author and some Briti wendy about the country from town to town iving read- ings.”’ ek wou iis hei dan’s UE Channa was not subject fright, and by no means easily annoyed Once, in Boston, he was interrupted in the midst of his lecture by thes ah n rising of a teacher and her attendant pupils, evidently bound for the suburbs. im the party passed before shones to stage him, Twain raised his voice in a clearly audible aside . ’ he drawled, ‘‘going to catch the nine-thirty train, eh? It seems to me that, whenever I want to talk, people have to catch the nine-thirty train.” On another occasion, at a dinner, Twain's reply to a toast was interrupted by the passage, just outside, of a brass band, playing The Star-Spangled Banner. The speaker never hesitated. In a moment he had begun to sing the words and to wave his arms wildly for all the company to join in the national anthem. The response was hearty and, when the band had passed, Mr. Clemens thus concluded his address Gentlemen, you will find my speech in fullin the morning papers. Only the music will be omitted.” Wagner's Profit from Strenuosity N THE nature of things, the best stories about a popular book sometimes do not leak out until long after its publication Thus it was with Doctor Wagner's Simple Life. It appears that the first edition of this work went but moderately well, and that the publishers were not giving the vol- ume any great amount of attention, when one day a member of the firm read in his newspaper the Washington dispatch that coniained President Roosevelt's praise of the book. Instantly he saw the value of the dispatch as an advertisement and the demand which it would create This was on a Friday afternoon, but the astute publisher at once ordered the entire plant cleared of all other ‘‘copy.”’ Then he set to work the full force of press and bind- ery men, and —by dividing them into relays and keeping the presses going twenty hours out of the twenty-four— had, by the follow- ing Tuesday, 100,000 copies ready Thus was the propaganda of the Simple Life spread by the very practices it con- demned, and good business it was. The Devil, also—even if he is only a printer's devil—can quote Scripture to his purpose. Another Mute Milton JYOBERT HERRICK, the author of The V Memoirs of an American, labors, of course, under the difficulty of sharing his name with a great poet. It is a difficulty which he successfully overcomes with most peop ile, but he still finds, occasionally, the Young Thing who confuses him with his illustrious predecessor in the title. Legend has it that the last time this oce — od was at a tea at the house of a fellow-member of the faculty of Chicago Univers sity The Y oung Thing, this time, was pretty and pink Oh, Mr. Herrick,’’ she gurgled, ‘I so adore your poetry! ‘Have you written any very lately - Not very lately,’’ Herrick calmly responded; ‘‘not let not for about two hundred and thirty years Mr. me see

Robert Herrick

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Page 19

SENSE Orange Blossoms BE’ EN Cupid crosses his fingers at what *] he hears by moonlight rhe father gives the bride awa nut the small ther tries to Settle an allowance on you'll always know where to borrow After marriage you may speak of | temper; but durin urtshi] better refer to it as temperament Ata wedding m 1 they've been throu women for fear they won't When choosing a wife shut yo it’s a sporting chance, because, after a courtship you ha arried women crv beca your wile is choosing you In marching up the aisle to the altar tt bride carries either a bunch of flowers or a prayer! book Her father carries a bunch of money or a check-book. Chester F It Made a Difference NENATOR SPOONER is a successful —) hunter of big game. On one of his hunt ing trips he and his guide, Bill Murray, had been out for two days without seeing ever so much as a “‘flag.’" About noon on third day out Murray wounded a nice bu and both men took the bloody trail, gur ready for instant use. Suddenly the guide threw up his rifle and fired. The Ser saw an animal fall heavily and called We've got him this time, Bil Wee sneered the guide rt ‘we’ about it. / killed him plain enoug! Quickly making their way to wher quarry lay they found a fine speci: Jersey calf We've killed son ebody ’s calf! Velled the guide Senator Spooner gave him a withet ator look and said lhie , yd } y rt ’ lliam, vou should be more pa lla your choice of pronouns We lapted to this particular instance Spoofing Alfred Sutro i THE London theatrical clubs they ave What they callaspoof. In America we call it by many other names; but Mr. Alfred Sutro lately found, it comes to about the same thing. When he witnessed the New Y ork pro- duction of The Walls of Jericho his artisti spirit was deeply grieved by the perform- ance of one of the women of the cast, who had a rasping, nasal voice, and w bit jabbed in her “points” with exaggerated gestures and grimaces. ‘‘When | write a funny line,’ he exclaimed —and the saying has become a proverb behind the scenes as ho habituall it’s a funny and it doesn’t have to be advertised by the actor! But patience and entre aty made no difference lhe actress went her own way. Finally Mr Sutro despaire d, and when she was on the stage used to retire to the de ptt s of the box in Which he sat and talk profane lv in words of one sy] Now ‘the re was cast who pleased Mr. Sutro as n one did not Miss May Blayney the worldly-wise ingénue, api AaCLTeOSS cism of her elders, and donnir n calls her Jane Austens to win the bu heart of an Australian n aire Cire evening, dt g the rehearsals of T} Fas- ¢ Mr. Var ci rvelt, while at supper at a with friends, he became positivel ly ric in his praise of the young actress whose name, however, had escaped | And here is where the spoof comes it rKed 1 tit Wasa ich he it i- dation il a Sala that he would speak to her the next time h met her Phere she is now,” said th friend, pointing to a neighboring table. Mr Sutro adjusted his glasses, and havir marked down the person indicated, went over and repeated his eulogy. ‘To show that this is not 3 thusiasm of the moment,’ he concluded **] will write it down. When he got back to his table he paper and a pen, and prompted by hi friends as to the actress’ name, wrote a most cordial note of commendatio I cluding with the promise to give her ¢ ployment in London Oy vurse, the actre to whom he had sunspot ez | \ been talking was not Miss Blayney, but tt make ve plumy ez, | other member of the cast W m he par So he et t yur ticularly disliked And that note proved — lather and plast ‘ her undoing She became mor etin her Vashed i Wavs than ever, demanded an increase ul he drank « ‘ * Scissors and Shears Now, it is said, she has gone to London t r ba ! the f tI J y \ a remind Mr. Sutro of his promise. tirm in tl _ Thin he : art n the f / The it aca is oO} - sop raga , Y >— Loops THE @NONSENS KEEN SATURDAY EVENING POST Mother Goosy and Father Gander In the (Wedding) Ring The Shanks her v arrt he 1p at : tt ‘ } | Ihe ! ext ’ , | peas eb al Adjustment aA t ? } ‘ al } () cat ez he B } Dead Ones freckle ag” So he lathe } , } hermilk, an’ he rolled her butth I an’ he massaged her wid butthe Ihe . } ; ey ae iy wert pat a? a alg Naa Sea i + Blades Was as white ar potte isa ane ’ } The Proof of the Pudding Nixt he set to wurruk on t} : } ' | ’ ‘ ’ ary a ] ' \ ’ } | , ant } M rew all d he eav | nose ” Indad it , IZajewelavaw rrt nov ; Ihe kster t ive t f hteneda " } } = Winked the ot it wuz high toime to shtop the tratemir Points tM t » she axed fur the bill, an’ tl thor bein’ Scotch, charged her a iv ir t I I ! | i i i t foive n¢ pi She shta at | i ; toir hut . | I heat dba “whee } \ docthor \\ " N } 0) } } V an’ he s¢ SIEVvMVONS HARDWARE COMPANY Bridget and the Beauty-Doctors Warccuttinsieteat hetisctaad Bidet? daichii ue Shi rt=Waists rylive be ‘ ‘ 1 I ‘ iWa iv Bridget S h docthor kit | mn the SUMMER 1 Q) Q Now tl same Bridget suld ’av beer wan da iw the payvper pa STYLES . ¢ ~ ok IZ aw Her face is a " | Ss This Waist, $1.00 ri eS as a piece of cravpe t pa ‘ I t itcl \ ind looked fT i t ( 1 lout ! lr il afther an earthqua ] ! I i I Vane I cract ni} i 1 oe i } } } lot av freckl ant 1 re ‘ ‘ ind opu i ) n he I { Wi | 1 i he had tl 1 " t t I ‘ ver ove or ‘ i } i piece roight « th iv t ’ , } Poor Bridget wa ! | } 1 } d the e1 n | i } | , e her fee ad i filled half the landshea I } ‘ } } a look out av her oye io I She troied all tl and cold ¢ I i ‘ | dl shtore @) 10) " | ribed to all the S , } 1 } bea re , \r } } \ » ft 1 W ! ‘ ‘ “ \ i re j mint rile y rhe {1 rt | i ey had } a i I 2 ~ ~ » CS . - neal ur da rsan 1 mt nt ! « « « “ irly four dallars an’ noi ) | swear * National Cloak & Suit Co. \ 1 ne ta | ‘rt i t A . il and 121 West Ist s Vort her " } vor rt At tha } | ) Oirla tI ty } Wa | ‘ Moving Picture Machines Seotcl } STEREOPTICO 2 i ind Brid t I I i } ast « } mit , } ! j , +} and me . } () ? ally tl rht th r I t } S ve ( E ad \ mi f f 1 \ f tic I ! , t { i r ear i q al s ! ar ) ure ) i

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18 UNDREDS of young Thackerays, Balzacs, Emersons, Steven- sons, Jameses and Maeter- lincks arrive in New York yearly, filled with the high spirit of literature. They are the product of the colleges and the rhetoric books. Their ideals are uncompromising. Along with father’s injunction to be good, and mother’s caution to avoid taking colds, they bring Robert Louis’ formula for pre- serving their sacred styles unvitiated. If protoplasma will make it, America must eventually have a literature But this procession of aspirants has been pouring into the metropolis for fully half a century, ever increasing, and in that period New York has produced very few first-rate authors of the first rank. Is there anything wrong with conditions? Probably not. Writing is as utilitarian an occupation as any other. In three hundred years of Eng- lish literature there are barely thirty first- rate names, and in three centuries of the French but half as many. Genius in writing is accidental It springs as often from the ranks of the tinkers or farm-laborers as from that vast body of craftsmen who produce newspapers, reviews, practical and timely books, and the workaday printed word that lubricates our modern world. This is almost the first truth that Park Row and Union Square impress upon the newly-come aspirant, and in much the degree that he possesses ae common- ense which is thought to be the basis of genius (and is certainly the foundation of ibility) he comes around to the standards of the market. Before the actuality of an editor who will buy a Sunday article and pay real money for it the inspiration of The American Scholar” fades. His cher- ished tyle is taken from its sterilized cotton and dragged through police courts and the morgue. In this very newspaper, so de- vised at college, he finds things of a day ein them a touch of the craftsman- He may go far in this prac- that hav hip of all time tical field, yet there will still be men and women about him whom he knows are of larger calibre. Finally it comes down to writing for wages, and necessarily writing well Values alter his ideals, yet rather than curs Opportunity, the transformed re t is Hil Kerry to Suspe t that, in his case, the hand of the Potter shook. The Growth of**Howto” Literature Writing for wages means writing for the best wages, and the cultivation of the most table and lasting field. After the first fine burst of youth that every acce ptable crafts- man has in him, there must be provision for mature vears, When enthusiasm d energy will be the lesser equation, and skill, with accumulated ¢ Xperience, must do duty instead. Formerly there was but one con- tant market for the writer in New York daily journalism. Now another has been added and has become of great in portance the magi a thire 1 has de © a large body of writers field. Still, more recently, eloped, but one as vet tood and exploited of the trade journal, ar ace mark its a n to be tar the man ake ra means of livelihood Trade ‘ irnal is an exceedingly loose term that has been applied to a class of periodicals generally ui derstood to include everything outside of the daily newspapers, weekly and monthly n : d re ws, and the denomin: ( ral pres Originally it « ner : I i e, lror ( lar Pow al cha wil t ot ¢ in retail merchants’ hand To LOW ever, have been added journals that deal engineering el T ire erence mining, imsurance, put educati law, phi acy sand ma ther inte sts “Specialized jour nais 18 @ latera d better des re were trade use, , ond will be ourn als in gene ral this paper adopt in THE SATURDAY EVENING POST Our country stands abreast of Europe in but few departments of literature. Our novels, poetry, scientific works, drama and history os conceded to be imitative. But in economics, mechanics and_ industrial matters our books are accorded a distinct leadership, particularly those that deal with applied science and practical affairs. For directness, timeliness and originality our works in this field are respected abroad. We excel in the compilation of what have been called ‘‘ how to” books. An Astonishing List But the portion of this practical literature found between covers is small compared with what takes the form of the trade jour- nal. The periodical medium spreads such information more quickly, and much of our success in manufacturing is undoubtedly due to such journals, which are not ex- ceeded in number by those of any other country, nor excelled anywhere in variety. A small proportion of these trade journals date back a quarter or half century. But most of them are of recent origin— pe “ - a good half less than ten years old. a mass the y showa very uneven deve At, of the younger ones in a special field having quickly become indispensable and authoritative, while perhaps a dozen com- etitors in the same field are weak and of ittle real value. Some technical fields are adequately served by trade journals, while others are still awaiting their special press. From the business side a surprising num- ber of trade journals have been successful, though often inadequate editorially. In fact, it isa characteristic of the trade journal that its development has been largely on the side of business management, while editorial growth has been either neglected or largely accidental. The ‘valuations of some of these properties to-day will astonish those who are not intimately acquainted with them. Several are said to be worth $1,000,- 000 each in respect to title and good will, WwW hile more than a dozen ot hers Ww ould bring $500,000 each at sale, and a hundred more are valued at $100,000. A decade ago no roperty of this character was held at the fatter valuation. What makes trade jour- nalsso valuable? Their circulation is small What gives a million-dollar valuation to a yublication with only 10,000 subscribers? ts advertising patronage Subscribers may pay but a dollar a year for such a journal, but it goes to a clientéle of immense purchasing power, buyers of machinery and supplies, so that for each subscriber its publisher may $25 a year in adver- tising. Where subscribers pay him $10,000, some receive advertisers represent $250,000 Several trade journals with 100,000 subseribers have gross annual receipts of $1,500,000 But while the trade al has been de- veloped phenomenally on its business side, its editorial growth has been less rapid. The and the m have certain literary traditions and heritages that have jour newspaper agazine come to them through a long period of de- velopment. The trade journal had none Each public ation of this class, coming into a technical field that had never enjoyed a medium for the spread of information, was forced to make its own methods And in the developme nt of its editorial volicy liter- arv skill was usually unavy ble Engi- neering journals grew out of the prolix official’ rey Publications launched to keep a retail trade informed on prices, new goods and shop methods were written by merchants i clerks Contributior to ournals dealing with machinery came from meck and foremen, One by one new trade fields were d with. the especial journals, writt n their especial View! I t lr t} writer these trade and ild more direct nd literary standards ital toatrade ps riodical at the outset, but after the special fe ld and have been defined by technical men, the trained COLLINS THE NEW PROFESSION By JAS. H. general writer is often able to grasp them, shape a wider policy, vary subjects that trend toward set channels, and employ literary artifice not only in pre- senting matter more attractively, but in getting fuller, fresher information. For the technical half-knowledge of a trained writer is often precisely the element needed to reveal and exploit points that, in the tech- nical man’s judgment, seem commonplace. The number of trade journals in the United States is now estimated at between fifteen hundred and two thousand. About four hundred and fifty are published in New York City, which has fourteen daily news- papers devoted to finance and commerce; seventy weekly and monthly periodicals to finance, commerce, insurance and markets; seventy-five to iron, steel, manufacturing, mining, building and wholesale trade; thirty-eight to railroads, electricity, engi- neering and machinery; sixty to law, medi- cine, pharmacy, architecture, science and education; fifty to literature, art, music, the drama, publishing and advertising; fifty to retail trade; forty-three to sports, fashions, agriculture, etc., and fifty of mis- cellaneous character. Many are weaklings, but others have an influence wider than that of any American newspaper .The daily pre , fore xamp le, is said to re ly upon a cer- tain venerable wee ‘kly journal for its quota- tions in the iron and steel markets, and half the Governments of the world subscribe to it officially. Librarians state that con- stant visitors to reading-rooms, especially in manufacturing cities, read, not the pop- ular magazines, but such trade journals as the American Machinist, Engineering News, Iron Age, Electrical Review, Dry Goods Economist, Street Railway Journal, Shoe and Leather Reporter, ete. Trade journals have had an influence on the daily press, for the standards of accuracy set by them in reporting technical matters has resulted in better attention to special sub- jects in our best newspapers. Even the magazine field has been influenced, for many of the new publications established the past five years are of special and tech- aieal character rather than general. Their circulations are small, and touch but a re- stricted class, but their advertising incomes, following trade journal principles, make them valuable properties. A Premium on Stability This great specialized periodical literature, hardly in the second decade of its develop- ment and more lusty In its present growth than any other branch of publishing, offers manifest advantages to the writer forwages. Chief of these is stability of employment and income The daily ne wspaper devours men and energies. Those who serve it with genuine talents are required to give up their finest years of freshness and vigor, often con- densing them into months, to satisfy public demand for what is conspicuous by its pert originality. Pressure is brought to make talent yield the superficial, timely stuff that zest of production and capacity destroys for serious work in mature years. Upon those who have not talent the newspaper lays a crushing load of routine writing and editing. The longer a man or woman works for the daily paper the less he or she is worth to it. Public demand (as American editors nterpret it, at least) makes it impossible for the newspaper to assure its writers a balanced career. Among journalists them- there previ ils an atmosphere of Bohemianism, often forced, that sets a pre- mium on improvidence and makes the studied career exceptional. The best word that can be said for the newspaper is that it Ters to men with clear heads a stepping- tone to more stable things. The trade journal, on the contrary, ium on stability. selves puts a pren Talent it‘requires hardly at os for the superficial writing that ae d astonishes has no place n its ( = scope The trade jou rnal does not aim to interest, for it already has an sted following that will read the driest resentation of its especial kind of informa- tion. The attractively such informa- tion can be served up, the better, of course, but ious writing is more likely to be repressed than stimulated. There is plenty of routine work, but the worker is seldom loaded to the crushing point, because the even intere more precoe May 12, 1906 Start the home right c ‘* old folks’ the new home with will enjoy now, their childrer children, An outfit of RADIATORS AMERICAN RADI The today are the ’ of tomorrow. Hot Water Pressure Steam heating, they the sure, form warmth which so much to make home home. AMERICAN [DEAL ATOR (COMPANY “young ouple” of If is equipped or Low and secure to 1 and grand- soft, uni- assists BOILERS Dept. 28 sabe OSs sos et Shes ae CHICAGO Floors An ——— Finish ! ance of Wax, but w nd Cay Vv for «¢ erms, FLORSATIN in auty of while | It much e for a t be wa 1 t t i » it 1 i ful ft and a \ t Home Ideal, bby Mar fusely illustrated 1 k inches, on house decorat ng the Exact Appear- } \ ! rt iter apres Yo apply and care ‘ ‘ rut t f s wi ' 1 f Qs! | pa . 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Page 21

volume of matter published in a trade jour- nal is small compared with those yards of nothingness that pad out many daily ne Ws- paper pages. Trade journalism is a field of special writing that tends to make workers more and more valuable to the journals they serve as the years pass. On a news- paper the most stab le positions are those o specialists, such as sporting, financial and literary editors. Trade journalism makes all its workers over into such speci: ulists The editor who ‘‘writes horse”’ on a d: aily paper lives more on his knowledge of racing in the past than by his treat ment of to-day’s news trade journal writer entering his - cial field with no very great certainty at the outset, hardly in touch with its leaders and its lingo, soon begins to acquire know! edge that will stand him in stead ten, and twenty, and thirty vears later, if he contin ues to write about the same spe cialty All trades, professions and modities hav men and measures to be correctly propor tioned in their several presses, and the trad journalist's knowledge becon more valuable to himself, and often indi pensable to his public: ition, -arns the importance of different business the records and character of leading men, the weight of trade movements and tend encies and issues. When a man in the trade dies, the trade journalist whether he was somebody or nobod) When a novel me asure Is propose dorane Ww machine invented, he gives it correct pro- portions in the trade’s literature Evers trade has its especial language, as full of symbols, allusions to matters that every body in it knows, liptica com es more and as he le houses, as el l and spic a that of the racing or baseball page. These are tools the trade journalist acquires not by any study or literary effort, but simply through living in a certain trade field, meet ing its men, visiting itS Warerooms and factories, reporting its convent They make him valuable to his publication, in consequence of which he squanders no thought upon the dreaded ‘ shake -up” that forever hovers over a newspaper's editorial rooms. ions An Atmosphere of Business Instead of the pseudo-Bohemianism of Park Row, the trade journalist lives in an atmosphere of business, where to exhibit foresight, plan well, pay one’s bills and meet obligations are constantly an ideal. He associates with business men, acquires business ability (which is largely arithmetic and gumption), and falls into the temperat« living t hat is now the standard of the busi ness world. His hours are normal daylight hours, and where press-day comes week] or monthly the deadly pace and pressure of daily pub lication are unknown Compared with magazine writing, journalism shows even greater advantages as an employment for the man who writes for wages M: igazines see +k talent and n elty in greater degree than the newspapers, and have need of little routine writing Therefore, while they offer great rewards to a produce r of popular fict ion who can estab lish a reputation and continue to produce, it would be a serious error for the merely average man to seek among them a stable market for the workmanlike articles that newspapers buy re such quantity. Probably the fascination of newspaper life leads more sae into it than any yromise of a career. To live at such a vi- rant centre of affairs, with fingers upon the nerves and arterial currents of human exist- ence, is the temptation that wins most men to journalism. Trade journalism lacks the romance of the daily newspaper office, yet is by no means so dull or material a fic id of effort as one might imagine. Each trade is really a microcosm of life, reproducing in miniature the macrocosm of the newspaper. Trade journalism, for instance, has its poli- tics and political movements. Among the engineering journals there may be camps of hot partisans for cinder concrete and hollow tile in fireproof construction, each backed by vested interests in the shape of corporations holding patents, each supported by experts who fight out mooted points in long letters A catastrophe like the Baltimore fire them all p iene hing ruins, drawing de- ductions, demolishing theories and estab- lishing prin iples that may go around the world. That conflagration brought fire- proofing experts from Europe. Among the pharmaceutical journals there are move- ments for and against patent medicines, with discussions of such live questions as whether pharmacists shall prescribe or physicians dispense drugs to their patients trade sends THE Menacing evils invade a certain field trade, such as the trading stamp, and result in m: tings of merchants not a whit less intense than political iss Mee assem bites The L iterature of Fall Shirtings re of exposu There is a ‘litera g abuses in export trade, the si ioddy or cotton in clot the use of preservatives in foods, and the LiKe Fully three-fourths of ich have direct bearing on the public good, an in following ny solid as WOOK, them the trade journalist is con k cing no : mall Kt tthe ol tish } or ut . embryo Ke ee ee li rug bration of its birthday with horns, and ee cy ls, and lutes, and thousand tf amples of pills, scents and cosmeties (at the manufacturer's expense telling how many thousand of the saucer-eyed came nd how many policemen were nece see, a i sary to handle them, mav be in line with nm great traditions of literature Yet the sar writer on a daily paper might be sent interview the weather man or garble t speeches at dinner of shoe manufacturer Worming out the story of a murder ot scandal for a sensational daily requires t more finesse than to call on the leading manufacturers in the haberdashery trad and talk everything but fashior in fi hirts, ar hen goawa ind ! i i on fall shirtings, announcing colors and patterns Another murder 1 tery have blotted out f statement in the dauy newspaper in th late put the haberdashery trade will never forget an error otf idgment as to the wa that tripes ill prot ablv run. Ona music trade cauak ihe’ writer will be required to revic the catalogues of a dozen con peting pla! houses, saying about each not only thing that will be just, fresh and impre ‘ the compiler, an expre on of one I discerns and appreciates, but so tactful ar expression that the other eleven will ha no reason to suspect partialit isier Feeling in Ne Drie of report on“ BE: may be am an interesting historical side to most trades. A biographical sketch of the dean of the cravat trade gives as wide scope as one aslerplece 1 IS also could desire for ‘* human interest ” writing Trade journal material is often intractable stulf and to handle it we no nly g | practice, but a source of pride ter for vears of business the dean of cravat inxious to state nothing mors ha that he bears no ill-will toward those wh never bought goods of him, or that ret of hi iccessful life has beer snack at always making the best goods 1n the market at the lowest possibl Then the thing to do is to lead him to brit out a box of cravats of thirty vea par ] +} + } tell how he quaint styles origina 1d re call how he Was one ola rade con ati ! that coalesced in the late seventies ar annihilated the pape reollar. Trade journal ism, like the daily newspaper, is a record of the doings of men It reflects a mall ecLor one that is alive tions of it are not different gree —and not that E ‘ly trade were allover. The in kind, but ot society, but attrac always journals colorless re ords of fact because the writers who made them had few of the artifices of the trained writer But the best of them to-day are interesting as well as informative, and the tendenc Vis continually toward more inter est. Along with market reports on crude drugs in the representative pharmaceutical journal, and _ its directions for building shelving or running a soda fountain, will be P iblished articles of broad interest on Malay medicine, or Chinese pharr nacy, or medi chemistry, or the stock of the apothe Romeo and Juliet as a or less effective medicinal with the solid article of an engineer in the electrical or construction or mining journals will be the bright pres entation of some scientific novelty or para- dox that is clipped and copied widely by eval cary in of more Side by collection ayent side magazines and newspapers. The humanly interesting side of trade journal writing is steadily reflected in our general press, and not a few of these specialized periodicals are their field justness of valued by persons quite outside for their tang of literary op nion Formerly the puffing of advertisers’ ware was common, but trade journals maintain a high integrit in their text pages, and advertising sections or's Note —T} ng with speci stvle or to-day represent: even censor their s the first of two pape alized journalist will appear an early 1s SATURDAY EVENING POST Quaker Rice (Puffed) Quaker Rice «Puffed)> ot il power, A Roy: alty clad in the would betr. WW Its reg: ‘ garb WC yruld rags poverty beggar clothed in belic the ot sometimes superficial) is the standard kingly mark penury. ance (though Appea which men judge you. Your used CoO Interpret you and your business. letterhead 1S otten the means Strength, quality and dignity is the three- told combination which m; ikes OLD HAMPSHIRE BOND a suitable spokesman tor you. lt is the tor business stationery. standard paper Hampshire Paper Company ichusetts South Had

Page 22

20 THE SATURDAY EVENING POST The Personal Correspondence of By J. W. FOLEY He Qualifies for the Portfolio of Finance a Diplomat. Mapievitir, December 12. Dear Unele William I am liable to be in a good deal of trouble down here where I am going to school as you have no doubt heard from Mamma in which I would like your advice because of you being a lawyer and knowing the many ways of getting people out of trouble. I would have written to Papa about it but he or Uncle George not being a lawyer would not be as good for me as you are. I might go to some lawyer here but I was thinking you might not like it if | went outside of our family which might bea sort of reflection on you as if you were not good enough which is not the case. I am safe in telling you about it because a lawyer is always very confiden- tial of their customers troubles never telling them around if they are guilty or not which is often very good for them. It would be often very bad for us if we had no good law- yers when w in trouble which are abl to get us out at a reasonable price so that we tmay never do it again. I am a little overspent in my bills here which is giving me a great deal of worry and I was wondering what they can do to me if I cannot pay them by the time I have to go ho me for Christmas. Could any of them uch as the steam laundry or the man that ah pies for us very large at only ten cents apiece lor ap ple and fifteen cents for mince do anything such as getting me in jail for not paying until after Christmas when I will be liable to save alittle money? I would not mind going to jail so much but it would bea terrible thing on our family which would be the first one in it to get in jail. I do not be e are lieve Mamma would ever live if she found itout. What isthe most they can do to you for sixty-five cents laundry not paid till after Christmas? Would you mind looking it up and letting me know and also what 1 best to say to the steam laundry for me not being able to pay now I will surely be able to pay all - alte! Christmas but owing to so many boys say- ing that which are not of the best intention it is hard to get the laundry to always be- lieve it There are some other bills where I have overspent ch lam makinga list of so vou w more about mv cas« and give oua rcha eto kr \ hat 1 hall do such as follow Owing to the steam laundr for washing 65 cents Owing Vv pe , 1¢ n J y Gibbs in } iit 20 cent Cwing for pecia pi or Wednesdays which are hash-day as I will explain below 10 cent Owing for mixed candy for Jenny Gibbs 25 cent Owing for total overspend ings LOoOcents { ought not to have overspent my money but that does not do me anv good to know ivh it is liable to be ro od lesson for me if I can pay all up andr lebt again. The special pies on h lavs were when we were on the strike against Wedne day hash and none of us would go to Wed nesday dinner until it was not iV more and having to buy pies down town ( mes having pay ne eek ¢ a nt of t having a y spare ! ne which keeps adding up. [ am having t walk on the ott ie the eet from tt ple mar he prese which is beginr to be noticed when I am going down towr A good many of the bovs are walking on the other side which is very painful t know you have to do I was wondering if some our « tomers would not have some writing in the cases that I coul d make a little money ] to work very cheap up to $1 50 which would let me pay all up and walk on the pie man’s side if I Tay a ned to not want to cross the street. could do plain writing keeping ve ry straight on the lines and no blots or bad spelli ing to be guaranteed. It would very handy to know where you j ing done prompt as I — ly t “ ould get plain writ would be at your disposal any hour day or night very faithful and correct. Papa would just as soon send me the money as not but where you are bound to earn it yourself it shows better stuff in you that is liable to help you in after years such Abraham Lincoln splitting fence rails and being president much to their surprise. If I pad get the plain writing to do it would save you having to look up what they can do to you for the sixty-five cents laundry and what is best to say to them for me not being able to pay now. I suppose you are awful busy to be looking up such a small affair so may be the plain writing for me to do would be the best way. In after years when I am grown up we will probably have a good joke about me being so wor- ried over it but it is more serious now before it is paid. It would be a great worry to Jenny Gibbs if she knew about me not yet paying for the tintypes and candy but she will never know as t wil stand it all alone no matter what happens. I am sorry to have to write so longa letter but it makes it plain which is better when you are in rade The having a fine law- rin the family is a great thing for me. T was wondering if I had everthanked you for the pair of skates you sent me for last Christmas which were a splendid fit and caused me many pleasant hours before I am away from home and got behind with my laundry Your affectionate nephew Tommy. P. S.—I would be willing to send sam- ples of plain writing for any of your cus- tomers to see but not this letter which is private Tommy. MAPpLeviLie, nele Dec. 17. Dear I do not know how I will ever be able to pay vou for your kindness in sending me the five dollars to pay up my overspendings and have the balance to buy myself something for Christmas which entirely unex- pected bevond anything I could hope for. It came in a splendid time for the pie man was going to write my father about the forty cents whi h would have made a gloomy Christmas for me and our family I would not have minded it so much for I deserved to be punished for what I ha‘ ing pi s beyond my means but it would have blow to Mamma which you have helped me to spare A boy is Was done in gett been a very sad for her liable to not think when he ge into such great trouble how it re- flects on his parents which are entirely inno- cent of any crime but have to take their hare of the blame. You do not know what friend you have made in helping and I will be very glad if the time es When you are in a terrible mis ek I will be able to he Ip vou out of a warm me out ill gladly do. If you need an 0% fo r part of my summer vacation | vill be only too glad to work for nothing } t , liable to istomers ( w them when you are be back and keeping your many ¢1 in a good humor while they are waiting to see you I have i settled all my over- been down an pendings which is a great load off of my mind and was liable to be interfering with mv studies Iti s very strange how a little money at the right time makes everything so differe we-loek ng and happy. Still it isa question if a good stomach is not better than plenty of money and have to eat oat- meal all the time which is very frequent in people who have all the money they want but it always seems to be something to keep a person from being perfectly happy m sorry about you not having any ting to do as it would probably be ing for me to practice on if I should he fincas which is splendid : with many rich customers paying tting out of trouble A doctor is a very good chance too with plenty of dis- eases and accidents which are very grateful in his business but a lawyer gets the money without so much pain which is probably and not having to get out of more pleasant bed on cold nights. A minister is easier to be but not as satisfactory on account of usually small pay and many children with clothes wearing out very fast and the con- gregation very slow about raising the money. You would hardly ever write to a preacher in the family even for helping you out of your overspendings which he would like to do but he would probably not have the money. I would like to write you a long letter about my schooldays but it would probably not be very interesting to you being used to hearing so much trouble and many hard cases to occupy your mind. I suppose a lawyer gets very tired of everybody being criminals that want him to get them out of it. I wonder if you would mind if I spent part of the extra money you sent me to buy a present for Jenny Gibbs before I go home for Christmas. It would be liable to make her think of me when I am away which would do us both a great deal of good. I was thinking of a large bottle of fine co- logne which is only a dollar with a red rib- bon bow around its neck. Such things are always pleasant for a girl to get and when it is on her bureau in plain sight no matter how long I am away she could not forget about me. Of course I would not think of spending any of the money that way unless you are sure it would be all right but if you knew Jenny Gibbs you would say it is nen too good for a girl like her. I am going to write to you often after this if you would care to hear from a boy of my age and I am never going to overspend my money again which is all on account of your kindness in getting me out of it Your affectionate nephew Tommy . P.s I have ] not to sel asked the drug store man the bottle of cologne to any body else until I hear from you. Tommy. Western Humor TI RESQI ENESS of speech came aturally to the Western tongue, and this was wholly spontaneous and unconscious on the part of the speaker That man,’’ said a narrator one day, why, he didn’t have no head—only a vatch of hair on top ¢ if his nose, with ane ve cane aie Neither he nor - his listeners thought of this as more than an accurate bit of description. Then there was the river guard on the Rio Grande, of whom | purchased a six-shooter for a trip inland That’s a shore good gun, Mister, said he; ‘‘Ishota Mexican withit yesterday, an’ he rolled plumb over four times when he hit the ground.”’ Which, as it proved, was the truth, innocently stated as a matter of interest only as showing the merits of the gun. Sometimes this naive turn of thought took the form of ellipsis, sometimes of metaphor. If a man’s horse threw him, PX often once he ‘‘sunned his moccasins If he was killed, he died with his boots on.” If he died in ed, he If he was seared, he tch. If he was married, he spliced If he had a baby born to him, it was a “‘ kid.” M: any o f these phr AseS passe d into the wider usage of acce pted slang A sheriff in Kansas who wearied of his humdrum life sought relief in his own fashion. He planned an ambuscade, in which some friends of his were to shoot at him as he drove by in the night with : certain newcomer, who was to be the real victim of the plot When the shotn were fired “> sheriff with a hollow groan fell out went o\ was - Was dagen uggy. The tenderfoot meyers & the team and drove on the dead Jump t town, where he gave the alarm that Jones was killed, a dozen miles back on the trail A friend of the sheriff thought that the stranger had really killed Jones, and forth vith was of the opinion that he ought to kill the stranger, which he came very near doing. As it turned out, nobody w: as killed except horse, which died from over- driving one When vou take Silk Cravat it Phe tie you have or tor Superb a penny price nsist on vou Duy of a dealer Superb Write for “A Book i Cravats- penalty eereene f It is Free H.C. COHN & CO. Rochester, New York May 12, 1906 off a Superba smoothes out.” be a ‘* mess of there sanew t every tic eee 1 ~it’s vou it t Cravats every tim Ivers & Pond PIANOS “PRINCESS GRAND in i i 1 ly a I t the T na il r T m ert too i ™m i gral The ‘ re 1 ve a it gl sO ¢ il \V ‘ will: ca If t I ‘ Gra l 1 th the pr al \ rea \\ IVERS 103 Boylston Street, POND PIANO CO. Boston Department 4 WHITEL aw PAPER Goons co. innati, Ohio Sran0ssIn~ Students ° v-( Tilden Brothers & Co., Agents W anted. Dept. 12, Ames, lowa

Page 23

The Exclusive Contract A Reply to Mr. Armour By JOHN C. SCALES R. ARMOL R has unwit ttingls veak- now ledge of the rallwat tuatior th ened h S private ¢: r line case by call- raulwavs will make no demur to renderings ing public attention to the enormous annual tonnage of perishable commoditic the trar rtat charge for it isimpos , Without a full knowledg W i hed and « and comprehension of the tupendous tor hich j t} ethor nage involved, to grasp the full force the practice where the f h t] necessity of releasing the perishable food / which forms this enorm« us tonnage fror the iron grip which the monop if - oe by private car lin ng upor This tonnage ist i ‘on , and, Cor Fas dimost floes under the classifica n of I ‘ Is SO protitabls { the railway i I ha cor yy that any material hindrance to its constat \ he pe hable food sup; f th flow would finally those railways intry is lef pl re aching into the pe ri » food producing the ipa ‘ ind ¢ nir section to the verge ! lo compre loved by pr ( r lit hend fully the immense tonnage and the But the people are not without hope tl vast interests involved in this privat r proper i ! ll be had — hope line controversy, it is only necessary to pired the fact that the les state that, with the single exce] ! f pea broadly, are bued h th gvrain, pract ically three-quarters of the \ f the ie be ‘ e peo] ' entire food of our eightv-odd millior the e hand and overshadowing n } ow transported either under on the other rhis titude of the legis ion or in refrigerator cars and ove la rs should en rage and inspire tl ’ varving distances as one hundred people everywhere to ret ' t thousand miles. Mr. Armour their determination to ha placed uy states that the fruit industry last our statute-books a just and equitable ra ear amounted to over S400,000,000, and law and to be atistied with notl he it is the furnishiny » for the refrigera N half-way measure will tlice t tion of the greater part of thi must be a law that shall output which the private car tt highways « our countt fror th tempting to bring, and are bring insidious and tremendous power hick control through a system of exclus gradually bu irely concentrating racts hich, hutt few individuals the results of the lab« LHl¢ f ¢ f i 4 ‘ energie of a he le natior If ae i they see fit for the ju he Is the 1 called upon the present met f bine of this uaher irable tax upol the food concentrated ipital in taking pe of this country to be ay ypealed for ir alr of every avenue of independent ¢ ( It is a tax not levied by the nment through control of transporta i be but by private individuals g¢ all but a short t e De re t na ‘ control by keeping without t of tl prostrate and suppliant at the feet of t law. Were this a governmental tax it would) most dangerous and merciless of all power be a tax so obnoxious and inimical to tl the unscrupulous | er of mone general welfare that no administrat or rhis is no appeal to tl } ns ol arty could exist that refused its repeal prejudices of any class or cond t It We now come to the most momentou is a sober, serious consideration of « question affecting the welfare of the Amer itt an people that it has ever been the dut to ‘ if the American Congressto answer. Isthe 4d lect Cong of these United States to leave that the lucers and consumers of the peris! nece f able food « his country wv thout redres of « ‘altt h: | Ww t i i s h or far he ost GreeK Meets Greek charging as much—in many case double for the ice as the \ charges for carrying the fr 1)' RING the beef invest na branch an intolerable condition manager for one of th ‘gest Chicago heede i Isa rate bill t ) ] cking tf rms took up the packer * de fense signed by on a railway train. In the smoking con ates whic partment of the Pullman a gentlemanl from extortion and injustice ev person had spoken of the “ Beef ' t”’ in the daily food of the people? We trust not terms that were bitter we cannot but believe that the light which “Now, see here, friend,’ said the beef has been already thrown upon this phase of ~=man, who had come up from a_ butcher, to the ‘vou hadn't ought to talk that wav without ‘ate legislation is sufficient to show \ Congr ity of the issue, and to knowing something about both side show y way to guard wow c0c ic ‘I know that I'm paying twenty-five from unjust and fr udulent ‘actices In cents a pound for tenderloin steak, n- the icing of refrigerator cars is to have sist d the first speaker incorporated in the general rate bill a ‘Why, you'd ought to pay thirty cent provislet that shall « pel the « ‘ to said the beef mar ate the 4 q che e jrom the ft - He handed out his ecard and went into Pp ie, I ¢ el them to set jort some interesting figures on beef prices the eugiit-b f quantity of de ‘‘Kighty per cent. of the peonle want i f 1} t, with cost p thirty per cent. of the critter in this coun- fon, pee a provision is cle ir, simple, exX- try, * he concluded plicit, without question constitutional It was a good piece of special pleadir It must ia bornein mind-bythosewho are and the first speaker was so persuaded b aming the rate bill that any provision Io! the force and good nature of the beef mar » control of the icing of refrigerator cars arguments that he apologized, and the two must be framed in such a simple, business- were decidedly friendly until the beef man like way that fraudulent practices and ex- got up to leave the train an hour later CceSSIVE arges Can Te adily be discovered “Will you ar me if a k Our and the remedy quickly and easily applied name?” he ash must a eee tne shipper can see *Certainl certainly I ask pal at a glance from his fre _ bills how much don,” repliedthen an who liked tenderlo t ice has been weds hed and how much has There was a perceptible hesitation, how been charged per ton. This is certainly ever, as he went down into his pocket for a a moderate and reasonable request. There card is no business man in the United States The man who liked tenderloins was a ‘h mar for the vany! refuse itemized bill to a phe g from an intimate would dare Standard Oil customer, and, ran Con lager THE SATURDAY EVENING POST Acrocar Acrocar drop forged stecl does cool keeps cool Acro ar Drop forgings \erocar Acrocal built by practical men Acrocat We are making prompt delivers No exasperating delay rn disappointments Drop us a card that we may give you a practical demonstration | A The Aerocar Company Detroit, Mich., U.S. A. CrystAl ~ Domino SLGAR MPrYERS & CLDER HAVI Mullins ed Steel Boats Best Boats Made Press The t satest astest The W.H. Mullins Co.. 120 Franklin St., Salem, Ohio J PF RK FRUIT BOOK © Print Your Own Cards

Page 24

Reach base- ball | roods are the best that can poss be made Phey ire of such hi apne that we can flord to vuarante them im the

broadest manner

money back if not satisfactory Button-badge free.

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book on Joplin’s table. offering the only Catching it up as explanatien of his unac- countable disappearance, she raced down- stairs and, crossing the cobbles on a run, laid the letter in Stebbins’ hand. For me, T ine / The girl nodded, her eyes on the painter's. The painter broke the seal and his face grew serious. Then he beckoned to Marny and read the contents aloud, the others crowding close Dear Stebbir Keep my things until I send for them. I take the night train for Rotterdam Tell Scthénholz I'll join him there and go on with him to Fizzenbad. Sorry to leave this way, but I could not bear to bid you all good-by JOPLIN Mm § ee table that night was one prolonged uproar. The conspirators had owned up frankly to their share of the villainy, and were hard at work concocting plans for its undoing Marny was the one man in the group that would not be pac ified; nothing that either Pudfut, Stebbins or Malone had aid or could sa changed his mind—and the discussion, which had lasted all day, him no peace brought Drove him out! —that’s what you did, vou bull-headed Englishman—you and Malone and Stebbins ought to be ashamed of yourselves. If I had known what you fellows were up to I'd have pitched you all over the dike. Cost Joppy a lot of money ind break up all his summer work! What did you want to guy him like that for and

end him off to be scalded and squirted on in Dutch But we didn’t think he'd take it as hard as that You didn’t, } k he'd de you didn’t vou! What d Didn't vou see how sensitive

and nervous he wa Rie matter with you fellows is that Joppy is a thoroughbred and vou never one f hi kind in vour lite Ever since he got ee you've done nothing but Jump all over him and try to rile him, and he never squawked Once came up He's athoroughbred smiling every time that’s what he is The davs that followed with a sadness the coterie could not shake off. Whatever they had laughed at and derided in Joplin they now longed for. The Bostonian may have been a nuisance in one way, but he had kept the ball of conversa- tion rolling had started it many times and none of the others could fill his place. Certain of his views respected, were burdened became “As dear old Joppy used to say,’ was a common expression, and ‘ By Jove, he w as right!’’ not an uncommon opinion. In con- formity with his teachings, Marny reduced his girth measure an inch and his weight two pounds—not much for Marny, but extraordinary all the same when his appe- tite was considered Pudfut, in contrition of his offense, his English friend Lord Something-or- other, who owned the yacht, and who was at Carlsbad, be ‘geing him to run up and see the ‘“‘best ever” and ‘‘one of us’’—and Malone never lost an opportunity to say how quick he repartee, or how he wrote was in missed him. Stebbins kept his mouth shut He had started the crusade, he knew, and was personally responsible for the result He had tried to arouse Joplin’s obstinacy and had only aroused his fears. All he could do in reparation was to keep in touch with the exile and pave the way for his home-coming. If Joppy was ill, which he doubted, some of the German experts in whom the Bostonian ee would find If he was slin’s own the ren “dy to quote Jo fac aft the cause and ound as a nut, abe 3 certainty of that f ter an ex- h: e examination by men he trusted, we ae relieve his nervous mind and make him all the happier rhe first letter came from Schénholz Liberally translated, with the assi Mvnheer, who spoke a little Germ an, veyed the information that the Bostonian after being put on a strict diet, had been douched, pounded and rubbed; was then on his second week of treatment tance ol it con- nm re lo ser ‘ Wi iS al the moment fig atin lles -g iftera fifth wee ik ‘kba i, in the mountains, where he wa er-cure, Would be as strong as Tee

- b

to take the

a three Sam Joplin’s Epigastric Nerve Continued from

THE SATURDAY EVENING POST

Page The second letter was from Joplin himself and was addressed to Stebbins. This last was authentic, and greatly relieved the situation. It read: Nothing like a thoroughly trained expert, my dear Stebbins. These Ger- man savants fill me with wonder. The moment Dr. Stiiffen fixed his eyes upon me he read my case like an open book. No nitrogenous food of any find, was his first verdict ; hot douches and com- plete rest packed in wet compresses, the next. J am losing flesh, of course, but it is only the ‘‘dead wood” of the body, so to speak. This Dr. Stiffen expects to re place with new shoots predicts I will weigh forty pounds more —a charming and, to me, a most sanetheory. You will be delighted also to hear that my epigastric nerve hasn't } troubled me since I arrived. Love to the bovs, whom I expect to sec before the month is out. Jorry. Forty pounds heavier!" cried Marny from his end of the tabk He'll look like a toy balloon in knee pants. Bully for Jopp) I wouldn’t let any Schweizerkiise with a hot douche get within a hundred yards of me, but then I'm not a bunch of nerves like Joppy. Anyhow, boys, we'll give the lad a welcome that will raise the roof. Joppy thin was pretty good fun, but Jo pps fat will be a roaring farce And so it was decided, and all sorts and kinds of welcomes were discuss d, modified, rearranged and again. Pudfut suggested meeting him in Rotterdam and having a night of it. Malone thought of chartering a steam launch, hiring a band and bringing him past the towns with flags discussed

flying. Stebbins and Marny favored some demonstration nearer home, where ¢ very- body could join in. The program finally agreed upon in- " cluded a pathway of boughs strewn with wild flowers from the steamboat landing, the planking, over the cobbles, unde William of Orange, and so on door of the inn: the appointment of dressed in a Zeeland costume belong- her grandmother, as special envoy, him with a wreath of laurel, and Johann in short clothes—also heirlooms was to walk by his side as First Groom of the Bed Chamber The real Re cept ion Committee, consisting of Mynheer in a burgomaster suit borrowed from a friend, and the four painters Marny as a Dutch Falstaff, Pudfut as a Spanish Cavalier, Stebbins gotten up as a Night Watch, and Malone in the costume of a Man-at-Arms~—all costumes loaned for the occasion by the antiquary in the next street-——were to await Joplin’s coming in the privacy of the Gate— almost a tunnel which was so close to the door of the inn that it might have passed for a part of the establishment itself. Meantime the four painters were to collect material for the decoration of the coffee-room— wreaths of greens over the mantel and festoons of ivy hanging down the back of Joplin’s chair being prominent features; and Mynheer, Tine and Johann were to concentrate their energies in preparing a dinner the like of which had never been eaten since the sluiceways in the dikes drowned out the Spanish duke Not a word of all this, of course, had reached the the Bostonian. Half, three- quarters, if not all, the e njyoyment of the would be realiz Zed when the V looked on Joplin’s face and read his surprise

across the old Gate of to the Tine, ng tt to meet ears of occasion The eventful any < last arrived. Steb- bins, as prearrang 1, had begged the exile to telegraph the e ae hour of his de parture mode of travel from Rotterdam, al nd ug ting the boat as being by far the be ‘st,

and Joplin had answered in return that Fop Smits packet, due at sundown the following day, would count him among its passengers The dee p tones of the whistle off Papen-

drecht sent every man to his post, the villagers standing back in amaz nt at the extraordi spectacle, especially at and Johann in their queer clothes r instantly recognized, were plied questions ‘ oat slowed down: made fast: out came the gangplank; ashore went the littl two-wheel carts drawn by the sleepy, tired dogs then the baskets of onions wer rolled off, and the few barrels of freight, and

May 12, 1906

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Page 25

THE SATURDAY EVENING POST then two or three passengers—among them — of three weeks was so thin that 1 f Uses onde Steel Pen a small, feeble man, in a long coat reaching had to be lapped over ba ! . 2 , ) | to his knees— made their wa) » the dock leather strap to keep the above 1 hi L « K Lorie oe NO JOPPY!! and my coat hung down as if e! i “That's the last man to « e ashore ishamed of me St here uid M What become of |} ea I | Ink-Controlled | finapp-fell the lad?” done he od me » and repeated tl FOUN N } : ; . . i " : ‘ ee TAl | Mavbe he's gone aft cried Stebbin formula na i te i lage PENHOLDER bie , ‘ “oom ieee ee "| HATS FOR MEN f rear } P | her wreath and ru ward tl ma M J 1 | \ man threw he i around | ‘ i i} Y« | Marny and the « rs | nded at, Mr. J \ | | cobbles, tossing the tanders out of tl ! ere merely bl ( a way as they forged ahea S { t | _" Mynheer, it hi burgomast« ? } will t , A party at the door, conducte ) +} 1 La JA Small, $1.00; Med., $1.50; ; en 8 : = tabi sen t \ : we ayy ba! Large, $2.00 | Joplir droppe ito the one I Ww “> \ is ies | and re ed } hands ¢ he tat \\ ] ¢ . 4 : Lord! how ¢ a to he } at the } the De Luxe i } i ! i | ‘ \ don't |} I \ f ‘ | through. } } S) ‘ \ \ WwW KR Why, we thought you were getting fa oval Soc of | Iry It Ten Days Free || : bas: “he : bur out Marny a ‘ Upt Preside of the \ \ 44 me hi e seemed to have left hin I} " Re } } { it was | Surry i nxiet ind sh } } iN | Dl = / The Klio is guarar J ave } towar Eng I \ P Mart in a ade 4 i is Hu tl Wi ! ited ] N - t fh CNP is too Seri Me Bol | rd ior ' C ai , LOUIS WINTER ment d id a vi hes wea \h, aa 2 . but Wt THE HATMAN 7 Wil ou k tupa ellow ale ‘ enint at did ‘ e >. _ P ms » . Dept. D Reading, Pa fl te My u thi truth I'm not “phy ate 1 } nen baie thn list eS — -o Awe Co. eo == I was anda 1 deal of the old fight i No vonder dot you are thin, my frent : : " “a ol me ‘ i l oxpected a mm de oll deor’ as To ter + Lay up nothin’!’’ cried Malone. ‘And — broteid Dot ‘ led 1 be Nn when it comes to fightin’ ye kin count on me u haf stay at rik \ i I 4 U eres ‘ r ead Ever ! t he i | ‘ i | Dry up!” broke in Marny. ‘You're ( de udd ! ead, 1 way off, Malone. No, Joppy, not a man bubbl ! f | The Citizens S av ings re will open his head: say the rest.’ leedi it. I vill n ke | And Trust Company, of Cleveland, Ohio Well, then, listen,” continued the Bx MOrrow nian. i did everything they told m« Did vou go, Joy quired Stebt | ASSET rs. | | got up at daylight; walked around the Did I Y ba » the depot an ; ring seven times; sipped the water; at on to Cologne Phat might Late t plate 3 b neil r H Forty- Two Million Dollars what they prescribed; lay in wet sheets of sauerkraut, a slice of. pork and a piece Clupecd Shrunk, “Quarter Sizes | ( t t | | two hours every day; was kneaded | a of cheese the eof? } t ‘ 15 cents cach two tor 28 Gent: Six Million Dollars | man with a chest as hairy as a satyr's and top, and the next mornir hole ioe : : arms like a blacksmith’'s; stood up and wa leather iD ling upt trouser | One Dollar to Ten I i | squirted at; had everything about me = Get or ir feet, boys Here o Mar H t fox t | looked into even stuck needles in mv arn the human kangaroe and | xt I Tres brenteetaaccn tes wont —_——_} | for a sample of my blood; and at the end = waist! Ma t ha ever TRADE MARK =. ook pau for This Label On Every Garment REG. U.S A MARK ws OF | MEANING PAT. OFF Summer Underwear FOR MEN Keeps You Cool. ESH underwear 1 ment It has « solved the with holes cloth within the no longer in expen \ t ak ' ' problem of making a ome to stay ne have garment ! | ' enough to properly ventilate the body, ab ind ot everyvb« enough to orb perspiration price meal dy YN : » a ,etenee iy oy ‘ gavebare 4 1 ese ‘ ’ ‘ say 73 9 vo Teoh eat Y Rar ead ) see ere . pad bt er eee ; eee - seee se just as naturally as h perform its priceless work. Ask Booklet in blue and | From I — deal r breathes thre ugh his nose. The to Bed” te for and insist > pores ¢ xhale and inhale GIVE \ ‘| ‘he hums in bo dy Lets your body breathe during the baking S Summer time Because the air filters in and out at will. provi led with millions of tiny 9 s through which a man breath. and it Is every whit as important to keep the pores open, as it Is to keep the nose free t that he a a) vf f- OU SotctiAnd Chalmers Knitting Co., I Washington St, Amsterdam, N. Y. ee Fer ess " mn) eeeeet (at tee ae Wreweeeee jeuetaetaeee aed peaePaere@eart eieeeree senate Peete "hee eeeadtate Stet besa esie”d ‘eer oe THaed

Page 26

24 Economical, Cece? Water Cooler “THE CONSUMERS CO 3518 Butler St 30 Days Free Trial Of the Sanitary, CHICAGO GARAGES NG TIME L K CO KING MANTELS by } | | 3 Kx Price 25¢ and GREAT 81 EARN BY ONE D MANUFACTURING TOS SWIM.) PRIAI yy ads EGR Male r Wings lasettlanael — 2 St = KT IN TH} —— COMPANY, Hobe WATF R ken, N Paper D ASEPTIC $ PUBLIC inkir DRINKING CUP CO brids Maas DRINKING CLPS ARE DANGEROUS g Cups Car THE SATURDAY EVENING POST May 12, 1906 THE RUSSIAN BASTI LLE mtinued yu Page 7) windows the twilight deepened, till I could see only the great arched neck of the horse and the Boyar’s huge face staring thinking. “| managed my studies as I pleased I had a French governess very little, but © tremendous in her enthusiasms that she had to talk at lightning speed to speak all he felt With her I read in French the noblest poemsof Franceand England, Italy, Germany And each poem | liked best he assured me was French! But most of al | loved music | learned the piano from my good German governess, Who was silent and kind and deep in her fee ings I had a piano in mj own apartments, and here she would play for hour B eothy en, Mozart, Warne 7s but, best of all, I's ch aikowsky and Glinka and the ots rgvreat Russians Sometimes til long after midnight she played, and even then I was angry when she stopped, I was great friends with the fat, rosy old master in our peasant log schoolhouse. And there on holidays we had wonderful inging With nearly a hundred children around me, I sat at the piano, crashing on the keys the old peasant songs, What wild, rich harmonies! What true poetic feeling And the parents would come, men and women in their big brown and yellow sheepskin cloaks. And on their broad, honest faces — what proud, delighted smiles! Tsang forthem. I was only seventeen and my voice was very crude, but I felt such 1 [ ings that I was swept away Le tl on, not knowing where I vas, b fecling -until at last 1 would rot ‘ about me And then all around were the big, broad, peasant faces motionless — but the eves were kindling! And no one spoke ne in Whispers; some old people cried ; till suddenly the children rushed out and dat poet and shouted on the snow And then the peasants would go. Only a few remaines ll faring And the old schoolmaster would come to me and take my hand and in a shaking voice would say ‘Some day vou will sing — in the highest places! But I fear for you! You feel Kind old master -T left his little school- house soon For my father had brought me a teacher from Moscoy This teacher had brought men from the opera to hear me, it was decided that I should go to e¢ | found the deepest beauty in the world At first I did not feel it, but I] grew viftly older, and then I felt. It was not in the pictures, the statues, or even in he musi The nok lest beauty of all was t truggle for freedom! plendid life became! It was a: had stepped from a hot, narrow t to a mountain-peak — from living elf up into living for all!) And ved to give all my life to singing the freer m to my people In poor g my best In Rome, in in Berlin I studied hard, so sters often made me stop I had the greatest masters and th made much of my voice Through their friendship and the letter from my father I we presented to all the fine peopl I saw the court lif weal luxury, extravagance But om all the people | met I chose for my friends the great champions of the movement for freedom At last I returned to Moscow And there for a time | went back into the life of my home My proud old father was oO eager for } ippiness, and ] loved him , that at last I gave in. He had chosen m my suitors a Moscow princes, young and s,a deep lover of musi« “[ thought that I was in love And we married Li ngint palace in Moscow I tried er the ¢ life at th r he Grar Du Bu he er 1 of } ! on and nicisn i h no end but the pe yy ¢ n { ckened ‘ : : And at last, one night toour palace came u feel?’ she asked Last night in the concert I heard you sing a ballad of freedom. In your song was a tragedy What do you feel? I told her An iwe talked late into the night She was the daughter of a rich Four-cylinder Runabout $1400 Pour-cylinder Light Touring-car $1800 \t all tim irl t] ime or after th \ | t diseriminati lfer fine t t pipe pleasure i liced Plug Pipe Tob Sliced Plug Pipe Tobacco | Send 10c. for a Full-size Box to Dept. “S” The American Tobacco Co. 111 Fifth Avenue New York Type D $2800 y 4 t t pr or any we t—except a I Four-cylinder Touring-car $2800 Six-cylinder Touring-car $4000 H. H. FRANKLIN MFG. CO., Syracuse, N. Y., M.A. L. A. M = 4

Page 27

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i i ime bach » Me Was Wa ive l came te bu al at ( tne v ar My ol ! t d the 8) t he Tv ing n al rit pa the Ma al I saw tl with vika . wit! alike } tir ¥ ight ot u had ce ’ ere it to } 2 I} > i ‘ ‘ i} t l arranged a cor lin 1 “ friend and whe } } ang the Mar illaise! In consternati I ar } e he But day h i crushed t and Day by « her ti her grov ; a] ‘ when she tay 1 \r i ‘ke aga Comra tor here I } pt Sor Aft > th i ler Th in i ht darkness ! Fichtine i H I ld folk-sor into our s¢ us f Va skl¢ int dre | Then she sa e Marseilla d so! hr h th ‘ eacl ) } enched, | he il ablaze After that IO Nn t t old grav wa that ha | red suicides R } ifain had dor th Wwol Then—or the wal My cell grew v bevan to cough, to the feve l bear ‘ Arn marching, great ep r fa on n hi \ if } ir. D } ir, } igh i r 9 \ +} a : 4 ) rs the cough, the I ! Soup and bl I I I wond I hp e } peo} re autur I \ I li Still the la f ‘ I ught i ul That da I For the |} ch | Peter and Pa But the |] ‘ tr t s letime ! dy I « ol rich ar i I thre ugh «i Ni and justice a d jc Singing I 1 Sur th laise SATURDAY EVENING

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Page 28

AS THE. rich enough Lo ab orp ou could get hold ROMANS DO fy Pad Wesner fell ove the corner of the desk, landing with his head in the waste-paper As Lefens walked out unhaltingly, the enographer, alarmed by the crash, peered in and uttered a ery of dismay to behold her « mployers legs waving in the air Lefens was not in a hurry. The whole situation was clear to him. Wesner and ‘Tomm Mortimer, between them, had control of his ghue company —Wesner w been given forty-nine per cent of the stock, and Mortimer holding ten per cent. as security for the loan The change in his pocket was barely sufficient to pay his board-bill He went to his lodging, discharged his debt to the landlady, and instructed that his trunk was to be kept until called for Then he sat down and executed a most remarkable assignment of his glue patents to Alvah J. Brainbridge, which he inclosed in a letter to the Senator that was no less re irkable. He said, in effect, that he hoped the statesman would deem it worth vhile to take the company away from Wesner and Mortimer and add it to his own extensive collection. It was now midnight, but there was still something to be done. He opened the trunk and took out the small black book, ‘‘ Mit Gott.”’ It seemed that a further entry was re- tired, but as he paced the room, book in hand, studying how to frame it suitably, the task seemed more and more difficult he stopped plumply, still holding he said aloud, with perfect gravity, and as though he were speak- ing to’some person in the room, “I guess u can keep books better than I can, Toward morning a few residents of the northern outskirts who were astir observed a large, comel yung an, in long coat and silk Nat, rorousiy striding toward 4 ] m™ pat ke i loose hev will } qu hits trif ‘ ll tandt reco’ ure each bunch p purple lila DAFFODILS, NARCISSUS and JONQUILS hould be cut with as long stems as possible and tied twenty-six or twenty-seven to the 1, close to end of the sten It is well to wrap each bunch in tissue-paper or pack oosel) with soft paper between layer the tlower t be bunched VALLEY. Cu gas possible, twenty- vent eve to the bunch, with hail as ma to each bunch ( e to the « i of the sten t 1 pack r is nare 1 CAPE Ji AMINI Grow ‘q or the little wild grown variety does not sell well The blooms must have te t lea | inene in length i or I | ( bud Di \ n the - wl tial ¢ | with long stems, putting ty-five to the bunch, with colors sep- ‘ Wrap each bunch in tissue or oil i rar 1 pact Ost LST! NW j aster {¢ A to sir ‘ er ur {large blo ? Vilk ita) ter i tie twenty Xx t bunch, e to end, with colors sep Send Pa na ht box is possil id ‘ t r \ h cet ele it 1 t W here 1 have two ofr at h them t 1 on r ure i! » § f ind i x t ! er ol ms containge i vill reach th ‘ and ri iw ‘ t to prevent fre ra! n based upon vea experience in selling flowers and wi valuable to the novice in floral gardening if faithfully followed THE SATURDAY EVENING POST May 12, 1906 | Plan to spend your vacation on | The Pacific Coast fi { ' | | | G Now the time for to plan | 4 i t ‘ou \ na 0 Sumit r th ' : i } \ ¢ | . » best . i‘ has our " ull miace ‘ if ; you ould ‘ take 1 trip t Ww More t lelivntt or ( clive t mn to i ) 5 }’ q ( i You will thoroughly enjoy the scene er 4 ts of such a tour at the time nd vi thes ' PpPy + nen I lor ve to come @ You have n ealized the magi e, the commercial po ind th | rreat busine ! ocial opportunities that exist in t Wo! vestern \ tour through this rapidly ping section of t Ut States nh up to you new possibilit new aims and new ambitik Now 15s to make such a trip while you can take advantage of the : 1} P.S. Et OT = ee ee Se een Sweeping Reduction in| | | @ @ the Cost of Tickets | i t t \ a \ ke ¢ v, the | ym Det Denver won ( I ( Q $ ‘ of sev eq ‘ a le for ¢ i¢ mn t i let m — : } t Tours t nt what you n vhere you can xpensivel } mac istis, 345 “Q” Building, Chicago None Genuine THE SH Room for 5 Toes Broad Tread Med le -- A Shoe Without an Equal RIC E “si “ for ‘ 4 eX t DUCATOR OHOE “Lets the Child’s Foot Grow as it Should.” Sizes: INFANTS’ 5 to 8 $1.50 CHILD'S S'. toll $1.75 MISSES’ fi%to 2, $2 WOMEN'S 2:,te0 7, $3 GIRLS’ 2'. to 6, $2 BOYS’ 5 to 8, 8 MEN'S 6tott, $4.00 and $5 Unless Trade-Mark Stamped on Sole )E OF HEALTH AND COMFORT nt ¢ t \ ' } i By mail 25 cents extra. & HUTCHINS, Inc., 17 High Street, Boston, Mass SY Flat FLAT ‘etm CLASP for solid comfort silk ALL ‘Fe SILK I ygheonon ie aby PIONEER SUSPENDER CO., 718 Market St., Philadelphia =3 BRIGHTON | Clasp Garter | Reduced Freight Rates > | On Household Goods ind from Colorado, California,Washington, | Oregon, ct For full part irs ad ; BEKINS HOUSFHOLD SHIPPING CO Desk G, 95 Washington St., Chicago, Til Ss ATENT SECURED F

Page 29

Child’s Paint Opal=-Gloss It shines like a new dollar, and costs but a - arter Opal-Gloss | THE DAVID B. CROCKETT CO. 21st Street, Bridgeport, Conn The Increased Price ON THE SATURDAY EVENING POST | IS announced in the editor l 4 ( umn of this w k's issue of Tue Post. tl escent tion price of $1.25 will | vl ONLY UN a | \ftt that ( tl |) to | \ ae i \ l ib iar Tit for the 1 t i gy 5 Ar d \ t i | t ti tended for a year | . Ing that unount The Book Offer to be withdrawn If in ending either a new sub scription or a renewal thin the next two weeks you will at the ame time send one other NEW sub scription ($2.50 for the two) we will send you any one of these six most i popular novels which you may select | THE MASQUERADER, by Katherine Cecil Thurston THE CROSSING, by Winston Churchill BEVERLY OF GRAUSTARK, by Gieorge Barr McCutcheon OLD GORGON GRAHAM, by George Horace Lorimer THE PRODIGAL SON, THE SEA-WOLF, by by Hall Caine Jack London They are all regular $1.50 novels. It is the last chance to subscribe for THE POST at its present price, and the last chance to obtain these books without cost. If your name isalready on the subscription list please state that fact when serding the order Philadelphia, Pa. | The Saturday Evening Post | BOYS’ SUMMER CAMP *Wildmere" in the Maine Woods IRVING R. WOODMAN, Ph. B Adeiphi Academy, Brooklyn, N. ¥ a) The SCHOOL QUESTION 1) Nt ‘ Y WE CAN HELP YOU DECIDE IT & - AME RIC AN SCHOOL & COL —e AGENCY 550 Tribune ding hicago, Illinois THE SATU THE CASE OF MR. CARDEN i Sent i : ww hin 1} she discovered the blue cirel inder Thre at L‘o you bel ve he ispered excitedly under her eath to old gentleman beside her It seems r lible! Sucharare ease! Only ngle case ever described and s d! It seems impossible that I could be so fortu- nate as to actually see a case! Tell Doctor Atwood, do you believe that young man 1s licted with Lamour’s re ally att Disease?” rhere is but one way to be absolutely rtain,’’ said the old gentleman in a solemn voice, “‘and that is to study him; corrobo- rate your suspicions by observing his pulse nd temperature as did Doctor Lamou But —how can I?” she faltered I would probab ibject to becor ra itient of mine Ask him, child! Ask him I have not courage “Courage should be the 1dr I r profession,”’ said the old gentleman grave When d id a good phy ian ever show the white feather in the cause of humanit I—I know, but this requires a differ rt of courage How,” persisted the old gent ‘ “ean you confirm your very natural su 1 neerning this unfortunat ing man unless you corroborate vour observa- tic by studying him at close ra Be le , already it seems to me that ¢ n unmistakable signs ar I 1 in that strange physical phase which Doctor L: uur dwells on the symmetry if feature and limb, the curious! piritual beauty. Do you not notice these Oy my sight so dim that I only imagine it ‘He is certainly mmetrical and n a certain way ulmost har me in regard to features,”” she admitted, looking at Carden Poor, poor boy!" muttered the old gentleman, wagging his gray whiskers. Iam too old to help »old to drear of finding a remedy for the awful mala ich IT ar ! ed I shall study it ist Ail l ‘an ae \ oO! n } ‘ t , rye oun I ur 1 re "7 pe Don't! he } j i n't do that, I) \ I i please! I 1 | ( r hin ou st And |} ul ) t } lal I i 1 I r al i } B ou refused, child I in't mean t [—] in’t « } lw » study hir But I ly | ! = | e wa ’ let 1 You red him, | tl l pror +} } Lamour d f I t rf ngle patier But Doctor Lar r marr t,”’ said the 7 le H I —that ir b But if it sl i prove necessa ou rme, cl i n aired acT it en, | r her ips. He turned pink promptly and ted He/ gotit! whispered excited] Oh un f I take him for mine? La perfectly wild to be gin on him!’ You have not yet answered n jue yr uid the id gentleman gravely ’o you lack the courage to marry him if yvecomes necessary to do so in order to devote your entire life to studying him?” Oh—it ca t be necessary ; You lack the courage She was silent Braver things have been done by thos: of your profession who have gone among lepers,”’ said the old gentleman sa St flushed up instantly; her eye sparkl d; her head proudly high; delicate nostrils dilated. ‘lam not afrai i!’’ she said becomes necessar . I mn 3} Ww ¢ levotion as well as those of my ho minister to the lepers « Ye os I do I ‘annot promise promise you to m: otherwise study him. nd you solemnly to devote my entire 'RDAY EVENING POST Post Ridpath’s History of the World At LES Giives a Grand Opportunity to Readers of The Saturday Evening SS thi in even DAMAGED SETS were ever sold gRLd WO D HISTORY Histon’ F THE . WoRLo wORiD * RIDPATH @tDPATH loner RigPATH VOL.! vou ‘VOR. ™m VOL, tv PAR THA rome GmEECE ee percn sceuee NACEOON'A Tag Emre. Cee + Oe oS BARBARA” DEN etepe ie ) Mas Royal Octavo Volumes, 4,000 dout imn pages, 2,00 trations. Weighs 55 Ibs. 1 Ripeatn : FREI COLPON J WESTERN wr APL a) {ATION 204 Dearborn St rst ars oa brings the complete set, / ilance smal! sums Send Coupon monthly | To-day : ¥ oat ear-Brusscls Art-Rugs, $3.25 home by —_—_ SENT ON APPROVAL STRAIGHT LEGS Sent to you Express Prepaid | | W ORIENTAL IMPORTING CO., 6&7 G Bourse, Ph Practical Lessons in Electricity I PARTIAL LIST OF by Prof. FP. B. Crocker CONTENTS STORAGE BATTERIES Columbia University by H.C. Cushing, Jr tuthor of Standard \ ELECTRIC WIRING ELECTRIic BELL WIRING, by H.C. Trow, S.1 ELECTRIC CURRENT, by L. K. Sag Ss. 6 ELEMENTS OF gel peed by L. K. Sager, 5S COL PON it Out ar PRACTICAL LESSONS IN ELECTRICITY AMERICAN SCHOOL. OI CORRESPONDENCI Chicago, lt

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28 symptoms and search- combat them hfe to observing his ing for prope r My one ambition in life is personally to observe and study a case of Lamour's Disease, and to give m) entire life to rating it and it means to , its course investig eure rhe old gentlen quaintly obsok , bowing with that which val in vogue in hi ( ‘lam contented to leave him exclusively to vou, Doctor Holl And I wish you happiness in your life’s work —and success in your cure of this unhappy young man again as he and smiling to bowed uttering Hat in hand, he tottered past her THE himself and shaking his trembling head as he went rocking on unsteady legs out into the sunshine, where the nursemaids and children flocked along the lake shore throwing peanuts to the waterfowl and satiated goldfish Doctor Hollis looked after him, her small hand buried among the pages of her open book Carden viewed his di aring figure with guileless emotions. He was vaguely aware that something important was about to happen to him. And it did before he is prepare a appe (TO BE CONCLUDED) Oddities and Novelties OF EVERY-DAY SCIENCE How ANTISEP- REVOLUTIONIZED FOR THE BLIND HAs SIGHT rit SURGERY rHE TREATMENT OF CATARACT Om: a few vars ago, before the days i antisep ti ce surgery, more than thirt = cent. of all yperations performed for cataract of the eye were un ful, re- siting in pe rmanent and hopeless blindness UCCES> for the patient This was because neither the instruments used nor the surgeon's hands were sterilized, and microbes were thus enabled to invade the wound, bringing ppurative infectior \t he present time only about two mT ns of this kind out of every hundred la d the re « ot inteetion in ar Suc ise Would conde the pn Clanasa bur t taract Lt COUPSE not | irl pposed, a fil I over the eve but ore i ni t of the ( illine |e hich | dire behind t} ttle round } © ¢ ith pil I'} necessal t ra ‘ isiot a i ine ! trid ul n entel ! ‘ e the |e bod Vt hed | rust i thin blad ind ‘ irp knife dowr ird the eye from al I the pe it the edge of the rea hich ( ! ‘ a itch i! and = mat t are ed iit tt t le that hold e ler »cut pe tt th atte by the hel; ( ‘ pre t to | } ed t and removed Of course, the wate id esca from th ante r char er fy t but it is re placed t Na Vithinal ada ind the oO ni On ‘ ceal i ‘ houg! isses have be rr take the plac ! i! | al se oe, OT the nh 1 ne l 1 Ler the il e t 1 i 1 mat K he cul bye ‘ attempting the pera ! irene bleed and purge patient } nt that ch tre me nad endent ait ish the elihood of bad | \fte rd the ! ia ! I Cu N\ ! t ‘ nnown } chy 1 I CH We of t! a i mere ‘ i orivl i Ww days CHLOROPHYLL AND COOKERY V HEN rHE Peas Lost THEIR GREEN Yot MAY BE SUI THEY RE OVERDONE YH uve e cook nfortunat« ha | ne he 1 of chi pl She doe ot ki I olorit bstan vhich | bear ind spinact heir beautiful een hue, will tell her exactl vine! e arti f food should t iken off th t \ i fact that eacl ope Ca ! nd i I th H t t la i ry le re } | Ar t r n- ! ‘ vw exXactl i | t at rl ‘ | i la | B f t! pea | i have t i eve he liert t ‘ a that tl ire h d Hy he f } f. } he i a ‘ t r et t ‘ ! ! i er I 4 i nt of hea fl nt te fest? the ni oph \ iiNc ad tr t ‘ t my x ene al i et and atile | hicl i ) eveta These am p out th ne ed Uulce vhen a beet n the process ol cooking, |! A good cook avoid such an accident, because she knows that beets, if they ‘‘bleed,”’ will appear in the dish both colorless and flavorless. Asparagus, like peas and beans, must not be cooked until it loses its green color Of course, the most expensive asparagus nowadays is blanched and nearly white; but, as any judicious person who has tried it will admit, it is somewhat lacking in flavor In this case, appare ntly, deprin ation ol chlorophyll involves the tz aking away of some of the taste. But blanched asparagu is recognized as a ‘‘fancy”’ article, and, would be fashionable, on hould be illing lo make on acrilice THE MILLION TURNS THEM rITUENTS SEED PACKETS BY How THE GOVERNMENT OuT FOR IMPORTUNATE fig ry EIGHT million vackets of seed be distributed from Wa hingt« n thin the next few weeks among faithful onstituent vhom Congressmen desire t« er mie It i { ntic task to | them up it the operation i astlv accele! ed by the of wonderfully ingeniou machine Ihe raw material, as it arrives in sack , beneath each ; through s dun ped into huge hopper of which is a machine that receive a chute a continuous stream of seeds from the hopper above Steam runs the ma- chine, which fills littl paper bags at the rate of tl v-five hundred an hour. A tiny scoop, which is a measure so accurate that its contents can be regulated to a grain of weight, moves toa each bag, through a nd fro, dumping into funnel, it Phage ite t 1 allowance The funnel itself bobs up and down, and with a knifelike wth there oper each paper receptacle to receive the eed the machine does much more than th As each little envelope is filled in the manner described, a metal hand with steel fing W } | but alive and humar rises up from beneath, grasps the envelope by the be m, and } it along under a roller Incidentally, and so _— \ th u the eye would hardly notice the importar de 1, the tlap of the envelope receive rom in adjoining roller four little dabs of flour | ‘ In pa around the main roller it I ure, and then is throw a basket Phi f all these opera- tions thirty-five h deed times an hour! With twer five lirty machines at work simultaneously, it is ea Vy to under- ind h ifter a while even so vast a umber as thirty-eight million packets will be put up The packets are made up into bundis five in each, and each bundle is ! y ma ‘ e I hree stitches, put tha j t eal ewing ma chine Ir ha each th a label franked by a Congressman, the bundles are M eeds are common garden ‘ it fl rr hiefly are supplied t! nstituer ol Congressmen from Some is are difficult i ict rexa is the ilsify, \ ha tr i ch But the es ha v » that thev fall | ‘ nd ero trouble ] 4 n ’ 1 ar entior ha ! pac r 1 all the A from a entt fan ounce to half a pint of seed ordir » | Thus a pound of par ‘ ill f 100 en velone ,a pound ol lettuce S envelope 3, and a pound of lobelia seed Beans, peas and c¢ 20 packet to the bushel SATURDAY EVENING POST May 12, 1906 The Solution of Perfect Sanitation i xemplified the t SY-CLO is solidl tru 1 « hina SY-CLO ( c,% ; hout tor brea C truct ind rough pla nside o itt ti of w ,ends at on for dil I i I once all the su r¢ I im youl et; il mad f la i Id i {iron or ha tan ord flus! rising trom roper ird it at tl rst’ opport ra i the esca ’ } , ofs I i thie ‘ t hous I ‘ pt ot p mit { Y-Cl Clos “ tl ra tl i lof which iu . ull I § com n et ar t t made n st ual scoloration of those 4 h furnis pro br 1 s of th-d The action of the SY-CLO Besides th pious flush of wa un ay | phor ictior powertul pumy erally pulls the « t Cl t t but +] ' rane thy ! | utlet I lea n th ! S ! | t S i ) th | DE ot the 1 ‘ ind smoot tall ‘ f t i hina \ \ tl ! ) t n A the | I — “| . 1 SY-CLO bane Closet cut fre in half th showing the piu 7 inferior construction Note the leet ler |, making POTTERIES ape SELLING of gas COMPANY, impos Trenton, N. J. To any point in ™~ Charges Prepaid United States. We 1 pay l ery charges on out Blue Prac M rk ie I ] le 1 (; I ane ot raci¢ ‘ 1 ¢ thletic | ou ve , ind t ve t prices \ f ’ to « rooms 1 eM Bese . : 63" elow ' STon, MA Whether \ ( \ \ l i have t! new ca t t t | ind \ | 1 I I t t lor them, tz bef | \ ere REMOVES € = Champion - EVERY WEED—50c ere = ae _ “ * Say ee te E = _—___— eS ona y Express P i ir Guarar teed Satistactor M y f it an't ‘ CHAMPION WEED PULLER COMPANY CHICAGO Haw keye Refrigerator Basket Use This Basket 30 DAYS at Our Risk Ba ket Refrigerate T | nickers, Spo n avelle x13, 10 inches deep, $ Size ( 1 [BURLINGTON BASKET CO., 901

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