Punch 1898-06-11: Vol 114 Iss 2970

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— VOLUME CXIYV. —— JUNE ll, a TL TTT ~ SS are ek — eT t ea Sa ee {\/ NC at 1 liane “alll ~ My id I Y fy ) Ai) “ake Sct DLW NOUN 4/((\b ERR A) PUNCH OFFICE, 85, FLEET STREET, Leek Or fire Nigh Kdddonnad™ 5

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Mia “HU MPHRY WARD'S re NOVEL NOW READY. Crown Ovo. Lane OF ee ar | = Mre. Hear may Wann, Author of * Robert Marrella, “ Bir George Tresseady, && ~~ aden SMITH, ELDER & OO., 14, Waterioo Place THE STANDARD LIFE ASSURANCE CO. (=?) Head Office: EDINBURGH. Accumulated Fund, 84 Millions Stg. NEW REDUCED RATES. | a] Re WITHOUT PROFITS. Branches in India and the Colonies. SOMETHING NEW—SCOLI CLUE. Scour ven —— is Al ways Penty for use. Is , xt mes. Free from Acla xo dients. Wik he pal Nearly Everything AS STRONC AS ORDINARY CAKE CLUE. For Wood, Leather, Paper, Cloth, Giass and China Ornaments, Earthenware, Photo-Mounting &c. Roald tb Crocers, Ollmen, Lronmongers, Stationers, Pret ara] Dealers, Stores, &@c., &c. If unable to SCOLI,” send stam ype fe © sam ple, 13 oe i. and $4. for 64 vottle to + COLLOID, Lee , Dept. At 121, We wt Coors agow. Te st ‘sam a ples « mn ipt of id. sta “mp. P for posta age 68, ST. JAMES'S STREET, PALL MALL, S.W, JEWEL SAFES. Despatch Boxes. Writing at Jewel Cases. 68, ST. JAMES’S STREET, PALL MALL, S.W. (erytetack: Plate Powder NON MERCURIAL. Universally admitted to be the Best and Safest for Electro-Plate, @c. SIX GOLD MEDALS. _ Sold everywhere, in Hoxes, Is., 2s. 2. 64., and 4s.%d. DF RIDGES PATENT COOKED FOO0 # 158 ro 162, OXFORD ST., W.,} 2,QUEEN VICTORIAST.,E.C.) (Facing the Mansion House.) Manufactory: THE ROYAL WORKS, NORFOLK STREET, SHEFFIELD, | Adds immeasu- , rably to eelerity and 65 & 67, LUDCATE HILL, LONDON, E ¢. 0 eomfort in 16/ 6, ‘ | oe \ 0 Q5/- Fhe fas eo oar emey oat _ Ofall pens | famous | DOUBLE- | Cyclists. It supersedes all others. COL’ PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—Junz 11, 1898. - LAKATIVE, | REFRESHING FRUIT " LOZENCE, | VERY | ACREEABLE TO TAKE. cn London as under :— TAM A Roonstipation, | oe ee ena Hemorrhoids, Bile, Loss | CAPE (for ~¥ Sun), leaving 15th June, of Appetite, Gastric and | OE COPENHAGEN, WISBY, sx l ‘oO OCK. eee a ©*,/ HOLM, 8T. PETERSBURG,’ BALT) | CANAL, &c., leaving 17th August, return, ber. | Octey. CONSTANTINOPLE, tiv CRIMEA, GREECE, MALTA, ALG tix &e., leaving 20th Sept., returning 8th N London: 47, Southwark Street, S.E. String band, electric light, high-class cuin Orient a § s Pleasure Cruise p Tsien 3,912 tons register, Managers, F. Green & Co., Anderson, Ande. SOLD BY ALL CHEMISTS AND DRUGGISTS, 28. Gd. A BOX. son & Co. Head Office: Fenchurch Avenue — ee — ——— | For passage apply to the latter firm at 5, Pa. 7 = church Avenue, onion E.C., or to the xe NOTICE. End Branch Oe, 16, Cocky Stree, RWEGIAN FJORD THE §4 3 N° NORTH ee AND | NEW PEROWNE, Cighteca days, at — For n and itinerary, @ P Secretary, FOR DINNER TABLES AND DRAWING-ROOMS, | ® Butsiish Gardens, Boston London £6 Gs, CENEVA TOUR, 9 DAYS Can be SEEN and purchased ONLY at Extensions to Chamoun. x(Mont ian, 75, REGENT STREET, next door to St. James’s Hall, and 1 scturer ‘ir itobert ial ‘str. award tree 156, REGENT STREET, and nowhere else. Senne etary, St Endsleigh G ions, Euston, London, X | A Special Set of “CRICKLITE” LAMPS made expressly for His Imperial Majesty the SULTAN OF TURKEY is now on view. N.B.—Please write for the new Book of Designs now ready. HOTEL i “06. SAMUEL BROTHERS, METROPOLE Charges Moderate. pene Proprietors : THE CORDON HOTELS, LTD. Separate Stretcher we recommended for each pair of Trousers is Use. rookzom Aryrey sco Sold every where, or sent on receipt of P.O. Bronze, “ Bre —e Army quality, ,» nicke’ po) ys in Gt. Britain Jacket and Vest for Bo: 4 ft. 8 in., od Only); for igolonies anda el post rate Trousers 7 > Os. 3d. | for 4 , to P. Dept., ard ods pened a ILLUSTRATED ec ATALOGUE and | COLDEN BRONZE HAIR. PATTERNS free on application. The lovel | | gemnee “Chitain F air of any colour by , xan | Fo only by We WINTER, 472, Oxford 8t., London. | 5s. 6d., 108, 64., 21s, Por tinti jn Illustrated Catalogue Post Free on Application to MABIE, TODD & BARD, Derr. A. 6 9, CHEAPSIDE, EC. } 95a, Regent Street, W LONDON 4, Exc hange Street, MANCHESTER DURING SUMMER You should never be without a bottle of Which cools and refreshes removes Freck] Tan, Sunburn, Redness, and Roughness; heals and cures Irritation, Eruptions. Bottles, 23 and 46. ROWLAND’S MACASSAR OIL, the most effectual er and restorer of the hair,and is also sol and children with fair or not stain or darken the and Chemists for | (The Celebratec ACTION 32 CAL. POCKET REVOLVER With Rjector and Solid Frame, is the Latest and Best Revolver made for Travellers and “PUNCH” T'S TARGET VERS & LIG RULES Price Lists is being set up every week by Pree. COLT’S PATENT FIREARMS MFG Glasshouse Street, Piccadill Circus, London, W. LINOTYPE COMPOSING MACHINES. | LONDON. lilustrated Price Lists Post Free.

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Jung 11, 1898.]

i, Ny" IN: /, 265

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. Ran ee

s < ¢, . 4 ‘ <2 e ‘ « THE SAME WITH A DIFFERENCE. Polly. ‘‘ You xnow, Fatuer, I TOLD YOU YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE CoME TO TOWN IN THAT AWFUL Hart. Father. ‘‘ Way, IT DOESN'T MATTER, I WONDER YOU WEAR IT AT HoME EVEN.” EVERYBODY KNOWs ME THERE.” Lolly. ‘‘ Yes; BUT IT’S DIFFKRENT IN LonDoN.” Father. ‘‘No, QUITE THE SAME. Nozopy knows ME HERE

OUR POST-BAG. (An important war causes literature and art to be neglected. ... It is curious to notice how it is the one topic of conversation at the dinner-table, in the train, and elsewhere.”"—A Weekly Review.] Smr,—At this momentous crisis, when the fortunes of two great nations are trem- bling in the balance, it is disgusting to find that there are some ppy creatures so blinded by their sordid love of gold as to allude to petty financial transactions in their conversation and correspondence. Only this morning I received a letter from Messrs. Snips & Co., tailors, “ begging my

attention to their small account.” Small account, indeed! I have explained in my reply that my whole attention, at the pre- sent time, is concentrated elsewhere— somewhere in the neighbourhood of Cuba, in fact. Yours fai y, M. P. Kuntvs. Sir,—In common with all other men of intelligence, you must be aware how dis- gracefully the fleets of America and Spain alike have been mismanaged in the present war. Since my retirement from the sugar trade, which took place a few months ago, I have devoted much attention to the pro- blems of naval warfare. And, being a lover of fairplay, I beg to intimate that for

a moderate fee I am prepared to furnish either Spain or the United States with a plan of ——- which cannot fail to prove immediately successful. Horatio Netson Tomkins. Sin,—Our country is watching the struggle with “trembling eagerness.” And what does this lead to? It to Sleep» lessness, to Indigestion, to a Disordered Liver,—in a word, to all those ailments for which Poppleton’s Perfect Pillules are the one safe and infallible cure. The moral is obvious. Porrieton & Co. Sim,—Owing to this abominable war, I can find no sale for my usual Spring out- put; my Odes to the Cuckoo are a drug in the market; no editor will look at my Sonys to May. And so, Sir, I appeal to you to assist me by announcing that I am prepared to furnish Patriotic Songs, Ballads and Elegies (with American or Spanish flavour, according to taste) on the lowest terms. APOLLO JOHNSON. P.8. (private and confidential).—What do you say to running my Strife of Nations —a blank-verse epic of about fifteen thou- sand lines—as a serial in Punch? Dear Mr. Puncu,—I have been shame- fully treated, and I appeal to you for pro- tection. That old beast Buty (our head- master, you know) put me on in Casar this morning. I didn’t know a word of it and explained that I couldn’t be expected to trouble about Latin and Greek and that sort of rot, when all my sympathy was absorbed in the fate of Spain. And the only result, if you please, was that Bruxy told me to write out the lesson twice, Latin and English ! Yours disgus‘edly, Brown Minor. MARS MELIORIS BELLI INVENTOR. Dear Mr. Puncu,— As I know that rou are strictly neutral, and that your esteemed ublication is alike in Oastile and read ashingto —" I to draw the ly igh-enbtenting Powers

n attention of of Spain and America to the fact that I have several valuable inventions, which should certainly be immediately adopted by one or both of them. 1. A Machine for Making Dynamite Invaluable for Bread, which cannot be disti the ordi Staff of Life. ing an Enemy’s fleet under the disinterested friendship. 2 A Submarine Balloon disguised as onan F y caatiiines f 6 d taste, i lorce, an heavily A a destructive liquid, of which I am sole patentee. , 3. A Repeating Cannon made of papier maché, so light that it can easily be carried in the breast-pocket of a military-cloak. 4. A Mirror fitted with 3,000,000-power electric light, calculated to blind 30,000 men at ~ wer a Pe aren unless the foo wear my tgen Ray Protective spectacles, 5. A Marine Oycle, which, by a special power of oil-diffusion, can travel safely through the stormiest sea. 6. iy Refrigerator Splendens, whereby a whole division can be mn into immo- bility by the turning of a handle. I trust that some at least of my methods may meet with your approval. At all times am I ready to furnish plans, &c., to you or any other capitalist. HANWELL DE Loona. The Laboratory, Peckham Rye. cover of a to

VOL, CXIV, AA

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SS, |June 11, 1898. | 266 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL | | | Ty | a al TT 35° —— _ —— SS ee - a : = tone AY AN \ a | CAIRN’ | Se SH) \ | TS \ ! a INNS aN “ = TT .\\ AA — “a _— \ — \\AARAY \ ANG ¥ ie) | } ’ ——— \A AW a \ aad i: @ fs LAUNCE AND HIS DOG. Launce.. .. Lorp S-L-sB-Ry. The Sly Dog — ail] | 7? HN Ahn ny og ee a v.s~, - (hi £ ie 7 y/ / “so = @ 8 Rr. Hon, J-e CuH-MB-RL-N, x SS \W ) ~~ \ WS SY ‘ y *

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Jone 11, 1898.) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. “A CURE FOR INDOLENCE.” Have just been reading in the Fort-| nightly an article with this title. Being | naturally indolent, I take an interest in the subject. Even continue to do so after ing this article, translated from the | French into remarkable English. It is probably good for ‘‘an indolent,” as the translator would call me, to have his brain taxed occasionally. At last discover the correct treatment. Somehow I do not seem quite a a subject. Enjoy excellent health. Nevertheless, am hopelessly lazy. Must therefore regulate the employment of the twenty-four hours as recommended by the French doctor, though, as the translator puts it, ‘‘ without doubt one will judge these precautions juvenile even to the burlesque, tyrannical even to the absurd.”’ Don’t quite know whether the translator would consider me an absurd. Perhaps Iam a burlesque. Will begin to- morrow, and carefully follow Dr. Dz FLEURY’S programme for the day. ‘‘ Rise at seven.” Rather uncomfortably early. Generally get up at nine. But persevere. Next comes “ intellectual work for about an hour and a half,” and then breakfast at half-past eight. Don’t quite see what time this leaves for bath and dressing. Ah, yes! Intellectual work must go on meanwhile. Do my best. Repeat the easier end of the multiplication table while having my bath—always hated mathematics—and conjugate amo - after. Not so easy. Schoolboy'’s mechanical memory clean gone. Part my hair all croo' edly whiie struggling with the wreiched verb. Still some time for intel- lectual work. Begin to hate it. Read some irregular verbs in my old Latin grammar. Very uninteresting. At last breakfasttime. Excellent appetite. What next? Hang it all! More ‘intellectual work.” Had thought of doing some verses for a magazine. Evidently impossible. Must try something intellectual. Trans- late part of the Fortnightly article back into French, Easy enough, anyhow. Then comes “rest at half-past eleven.” Should much prefer some exercise. How am I to rest? COan’t go to sleep in the morning. Even I am _ not so indolent as that. Besides, the next thing is lunch at noon. How delightfully foreign. Always prefer déjeuner. But after a solid English breakfast it is rather early. So taxe that rest in a cab to the Sayoy. Déjeuner there. Don’t seem very active so far. What now’ Another rest! In cab to the club, and rest tnere in easy chair with my eyes shut. Still rather indolent. Then comes “a walk.” At last! But only for about half-an-hour. After this, I am to follow my “ordinary occupations.” Evidentl must not work or w write or read. drop into club again, sit in easy chair, and soon fall a ged oy comes in. *‘ “ says, “ ing it easy, as usual?” “Not at all,” I retort, “Tm curing my indolence. You'll see the system described in the Fortnightly.” “Oh, indeed,” he replies, “I’m glad the cure is working so well.” in to have doubts of it myself. But wi vere. Should like a little exercise. This is mentioned, so home in cab. not 4 } ee) (Ti Ue (Quy Vn Go ((dqa) (did Perspiring Cowntryman (who has just, with the utmost difficulty, succeeded in catching train), “Pew! Jcst saVep ir By 1’ SKIN o' My Tesra/” ** Dinner at seven.” What now? “ Rest) Succrstion ror AMENDING THE BoaDicEs for half-an-hour.” Again! Thisisawful! Srarve-crovr on tae THames Empanx- Fall asleep once more. Wake just before) mzent.—The horses may be easily supposed half-past eight. At last ‘‘a short ” | to have bolted, as they have got no reins, and then “go to bed.” Probably a mile | and to have upset the car containing is short enough. Do this, and get into| Boapy and her two crouching friends, who bed as the clock strikes nine. I may have have escaped unhurt. Replace chariot and been indolent, but [ have never been to bed | horses by motor-car. Let the two crouch- 80 early since I was at school. Im: ible | ers be riding as two fares inside, and to sleep. Would welcome “inte | Boapy can be on box flourishing her spear, work” as @ distraction. But dare not even °F *"¥thing, except, of course, a whip. repeat the multiplication table to myself.| gugoperion yOR THE NEXT STATEMENT At last, at daybreak, can bear it no longer. | ppnow Our Yeuvow-Paess War-Cornre- Get up, dress, and walk to Richmond. | SPONDENT.—Sampson has slain his thou- Shall give up this cure. Kather than | sands, thanks to the jaw-bone of an ass. ** rest” and sleep about twelve hours a day, | _ I will be “‘ an indolent” all my life. Men oF THE Tuvus.—Herb-growers.

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268 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [June 11, 1898, FARMING SCHOOLS. [‘“Atithe last meeting of the Gloucestershire Chamber of Agriculture it was stated that a scheme for a School of Farming had been prepared by the -) County Council.’’—Globe Dr. Tummutshire taking his Farming School for a constitutional walk. The Master of the Wurzel-growing Class. enemies Class. Chemical Preservation of Milk Class. OPHELAINE AND HAMELETTE. (By “the Belgian Shakespeare.”’) PERSONS :— The King. The Queen, The Chamberlain. Laertes (the Chamberlain's son). Ophelaine (the Chamberlain's daughter). Hamelette (the King's nephew). (host of Hamelette’s father. Act |l.—Elsinore, a platform before the castle. HAMELETTE, OPHELAINE and LAERTEs dis- vered conversing in dismal whispers. Ham. It is cold to-night. Lae. It is verv cold. Oph. There is a cloud over the moon. Ham. The cloud is dark and threatening. I can scarce keep from shivering, the cloud is so dark. Lae. It is going to rain. [A hollow groan is heard. Ham. (gloomily). Did you hear any- thing ? Lae. I heard nothing. Oph. What was that ? Lae. It was the wind. [The ghost enters. Ham. See, he comes. His eyes glare. They glare like live coals. I have never seen such glaring eyes. Oph. Speak to him, Hameterrs. [ Another groan. Ham. Who art thou? Ghost. I am the ghost of thy father. I am permitted to haunt these battlements between twelve and two. Thine uncle murdered me and has since married my wife. You must revenge me, Oph. Alas! poor ghost. Ghost. Till re revenged I suffer tor- ments. It is impossible to describe the torments I suffer. At night I roam to and fro upon the battlements wringing my hands, and my eyes are full of tears. You can see how full of tears my eyes are. Ham. I can see nothing. Lae. The night is very dark. thost. The cock is about to crow. When the cock crows I must depart. I may not outstay the crowing of the cock. Swear that you will avenge me. Ham. I swear. [Exit Ghost. Act II.—Jn the Queen’s Chamber, King. What ails Hameterre? sick ? Queen. He is very sick. King. I fear he is mad. You must speak to him, my dear. Here he comes. He must certainly be spoken to. [E,rit King. Cham. Speak to him severely, madam. I will conceal myself behind the arras. He must certainly be spoken to. [Conceals himself. Queen. I wish they had not left me alone with him. I begin to fear something may happen. The wind howls round the castle and the moon is overcast. fear something terrible may happen. Why did they leave me alone with him? (Enter Hametette.) Good evening, son. Ham. A very disagreeable evening, mother. Queen. Hameette, your father is angry with you. Ham. Mother, I am angry with my father. Queen. Do not answer me, Hame etre. It is not right for a son to answer his mother. Ham. It is not right for a mother to marry her husband’s brother. Cham. (behind the arras). Help! a rat Is he ; Pupils’ work infthe Scarecrow is behind the arras. I do not like rats. WATER “ SERVATIVE! COLOURING MATTER Dairy Object Lesson for the Junior Class. Ham. Did some one say a rat? I will kill that rat. [Makes a pass through the arras. The Chamberlain falls with a thud. Queen. Hame etre, what have you done? Ham. I have ‘killed a rat, mother. [Pulls out the Chamberlain. Queen. I felt sure that something terri- ble would happen. I felt it as soon as I was left alone. I will go to the King. Ham. You shall not go to the King. Queen. Hamererte ! r im ithe killed red He - He — im wi n as he was sleeping in his Nothing is more certain than | ay ~ killed him. Queen. Something terrible will certainly happen. [Enter Ghost. Ham. Why have you come again so soon ? Ghost. To warn you to be swift. I have come to warn you to be swift. Ham. I will be swift. Do not fear that I shall not be very swift. Queen. Hametetre, why do you stare like that P Oh! I begin to be afraid. [Ghost vanishes. Ham. Did you see nothing? Queen. I saw nothing.

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June 11, 1898.) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. ——_ Ham. There was nothing to see. Ha! ha! Queen. My son is certainly going mad. Acr IIl.—Eilsinore, a room in the castle, Oph. Where is my father? Queen. Hamevetrs has slain your father. Oph. Ah! Su mad. Queen. Help her! She will fall. [King goes to her assistance. h. (sitting = a seat). The wind is fe ~ among the battlements. Hark | how the wind howls. It has a fearful | sound. Do you not hear its howling? King (soothingly). There is no wind, OPHELAINE. Oph. And yet I can hear it shrieking | over the battlements. It shrieks like a lost —_, Do you not hear its shrieking ? King. We hear nothing. The air is quite still. [Enter LazRTES, with drawn sword. Lae. Where is my father? Queen. Hameterre has slain your father. Lae. But Hametetre was to marry my s ster. Queen. Yet he has slain your father. Lae. (seeing Orx.). OPHELAINE, is it true that Hamevertte has slain our father ? Oph. The wind howls over the battle- ments. The wind shrieks like a lost spirit. No spirit was ever so lost as the wind. Do you not hear its shrieking ? Tae. Are you mad, OpHELatne ? Oph. T am quite mad, Larrres. Tae. My father is slain by Hame terre, and because he is slain, my sister is dis- traught. King, I will be avenged on Ha- MELETTE. King. It is only right that you should be avenged on HaMELerrTe. Queen. Did I not say something terrible was going to happen ? Ovh. The wind is roaring terribly. King. There is no wind, OpHELaIne. Act IV.—A hall in the castle. Two thrones at back of stage, King (solus). Hame erre’s madness in- creases ; it increases terribly. There is no end to his madness. His father’s ghost haunts the battlements. It is wrong that he should haunt them. My battlements should not be haunted by ghosts. He has slain my chamberlain, and it is wrong that my chamberlain should be slain. More- over, OpHELAINE has drowned herself in the pond. Hameterre drowned her. And now Larrres has sworn to kill Hame- Lette. He has sworn by all the stars. This sword is poisoned. With this sword shall he slay him. This cup is poisoned. Of this cup shall Hameterre drink. Hame- LETTE shall certainly die by the cup and the ei Tam certain that Hame errs shal ie. [Takes his seat on one of the thrones. Enter Larrres. Lae. Tell me where Hametetre is. cannot find HamMELetre. King. Hameverrte is coming hither with the Queen. Here is the sword with which you shall slay him. AERTES takes sword. Lae. With this’ will I slay Hameverre. (Enter Queen and Hametetrre.) Hame- LetTe, I will kill you. Nothing is more certain than that I shall kill you, Hame- LETTE. (Hameterre draws his sword. Queen. Something terrible will happen. [Sits on throne. Ham. I also will kill you, Lazrres. 1 will kill you with the sword. 1 poison in the cup. WG, i QUITE ANOTHER THING. Jack, Madge, ‘‘1 DIDN'T GIVE HIM ONE.” Madge. ‘‘ No, ** WHat pip you give Tom Bouncer A Kiss ror?” Jack, I ONLY LET HIM STEAL ONE!” “On, wHat A Cram! I saw you!” King. Drink from this eg Rear apna m this cup It will refresh you to drink Ham. I will not drink. Queen. Give me the cup. King. Do not drink. Queen. I am very thirsty. King. You should not Sat drunk of the cup. Lae. Defend yourself, Hameterrs. [They fight. Hamererrte is touched. Ham. I am wounded. Your sword is sharper than mine. I will fight with your sword, Lae. Take it. sharp. King. Do uot give him your sword. Lae. Why should I not give him my sword? His sword is equally sharp. [They exchange swords. Ham. Defend yourself, Lazrres. [They fight again. Lagrres is touched. Lae. I am wounded. Queen. I begin to feel very unwell. 1 think I am poisoned. Was there not poison in the cup? Lae. The Queen is very pale. Ham. The King also is very pale. Queen. Oh, oh! I am very unwell indeed. I think I am going to die. There was I am thirsty. [Queen drinks. Your sword is equally Lae. I, too, am very unwell, I think I am going to die. There was poison on the sword. I am sure that the sword was poisoned. Ham. The King is very pale. He is maler than the Queen. He is pale from fear. Drink wine, King. King. TI will not drink, Hamererre. Ham. Tf you do not drink, you will die. [Raises his sword. The King drinks, staggers, and falls. King. Oh! TI am slain. [Dies. Queen. Did I not say something terrible would happen ? (Dies. Ham. My wound pains me. There is poison in my wound. Lae. My wound also is poisoned. The poison burns like fire. Ham. We are slain, Larrres, Nothing is more certain than that we are slain. [ Dies. slain, HaMELETrTe. [ Dies. Lae. I, too, am Curtain. SUMMER (?) ( North-easterly winds, equally ; some showers, possibly snow.” — Weather Forecast, June \.) Hear on more wood! The wind is chill, But let it whistle as it will, We'll keep midsummer merry still. Who praises winter? Who declares For January’s gentle airs ? Who, fondly wistful, would remember The balmy zephyrs of December ? A fig for him! He knoweth not (To put it vulgarly) what’s what. Give me the snell North-Easter gay That riots through the month of May, The snowy blast whose skirling tune Plays hurricanes in frozen June, The howling blizzard that shall fly In blinding drift through white July. These are forme. Compared with these, What is your soft December breeze ? Away with cricket bat! Away With racquet! Bring the jingling sleigh, And don your furs, ye ladies gay! For mind you, ’tis already June, The ponds will all be bearing soon, And in a little ye shall fly On wingéd skates through white July. Ho! heap the wood! Heap higher still! Spread Christmas cheer and eat your fill, Draw tight the cosy curtains all, What time the firelight fills the hall. So will we yet be blithe and jolly, And wreathed in mistletoe and holly, We'll feast without one vain regret, And keep midsummer merry yet TITLE FOR A NEW MuiziTary PenRtIo- DICAL.—The Powder Magazine.

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70 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL {June 11, 1898,

er “s Pia AE ZA ‘J | ~~. — =< | Conductor. *’O.n Tigut,tLapy '’ Fare. “OO ARE YOU CALLIN’

A Ov_p Tiecut Lapy? aS EY eS IMPIDENT YouNG FELLER!”

THE BAR OF THE HOUSE. (“They ''—the present lawe—“jought to be en- forced on kitchen committees, noblemen, gentlemen, and even Members of Parliament, as strictl as on ‘weed men, who (sic) I continual! read of being eavily fined for the slightest in ion of those laws.” —Sir Wilfrid Lawson in the “ Daily News.”’) To any thoughtful person’s mind It is a joy without a flaw To feel that men of every kind Are level in the eye of Law ; To know that, as the equal sun Freckles the wicked and the just man, Our constitution keeps but one, One common code for duke and dustman. Wife-breakers get the usual week Although they hail from Eaton Square ; Infallibly the fearless beak Impounds the burgling millionaire ; Between the ranks of low and high The legal chances stand at evens ; And rules for gentle-folk apply Also to Members of St) Stephen’s! a ys manhood’s equal lot! oy is withered when I think ese above remarks do not x" inebriative drink ; Your sense of justice will be shocked, Dear Editor, as well as my sense, To see the laws of England mocked, And beer imbibed without a licence. dence of his son.’

Full often as I contemplate The honest weaned public bar, And see how relatively great The clubman’s privileges are ; One drinking all the Sabbath through, The other’s throttle parched and sticky— Like unadulterated dew My tears have weltered down my dickey! But most I weep without reserve That in this House, the home of Law, Where Truth is noted for her nerve And Justice for her emple 5 jaw— Unlicensed, undeterred by shame, Exempt from fines or other Nemesis, Tipple and such as take the same ay both be drunk upon the premises. I notice how when I begin To use the hopeful future tense Of Love and Bliss that follow in The train of Local Abstinence, There is a movement, faint at first Then faster fly the ‘feet and thicker, As men withdraw to drown their thirst In streams of cool and lawless liquor. Not that they fear to find my speech In manner, as in matter, dry, For who, in Heaven’s name, can reach Such crystal depths of wit as IP But since the sound of W1Lrrip’s voice Rakes up the consciences of Members, To that illegal fount, for choice, They go to quench the quickened embers. But, Peace! for at another Bar The tapster now abides his fate, Where lust of gin may never mar The judgment of the Magistrate! To count the victims ere they drop (Pendente lite) seems a pity ; Meanwhile I drink—in ginger-pop— Death to the Kitchen-knaves’ Committee !

THE KING ALFRED MILLENARY. | My pegarest Gwen,— People have all | been talking so much about this dreadful war between Spain and America, that | it is quite a relief to hear of another | subject now beginning to crop up. Do you know anything about it, dear Gwen ? { mean this King Aurrep “ millinery.” Would it suit me, do you think? You | know the style of hat I look best in, better | than anybody in the world. Do write and say if I ought to go in for it. Fondest love from Your penn gt Mavpe. 8.—I see “millinery” spelt “ mil- | lenary.” How utterly uneducated some | people must be!!

“Lorp Brassry at Battle.” Such is the startling heading of a paragraph in Tues- day’s papers, stuck in amongst other war | news. t faithful Victoria need not grow anxious about the safety of its errant Governor. He has not gone to war with Spain, the United States, or even with ina. The headline merely introduced the announcement that “ Yesterday Lord Brassey visited Park Gate, Battle, the resi-

At tae Sr. James’s THeatre.—Aristo- cratic audiences will of course fill the house in King Street to see the new piece iy “Oxurver Hopses.” Mr. ALEXANDER will be able to head his advertisements, “Great attraction! On stage and in auditorium ! Hosses and Nobs!”

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—Juve 11, 1898. a Writ: yy TI TA ‘Winn ui ~ = > i\ SSS = = a THREE ’S COMPANY, TWO’S NONE. Brrrawnia. ‘VERY GLAD TO SEE YOU TWO, MY DEARS, IN THE SAME BOAT. IF THERE’S ROOM!” I’LL COME, TOO,

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Page 11

Juve 11, 1898.) OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL.

a3 vA fh Nw! SS = —_— — A MOMENTOUS QUESTION. Would-be Vendor. ‘‘ Wir THs Cos, Str, 1F YOU WAS TO LEAVE LONDON AT Four IN THE MORNING, YOU COULD BE IN BricnTon BEFORE BREAKFAST-TIME !” Possible Purchaser. ‘*BuT WHAT SHOULD I po 80 EARLY IN BricurTon ¢”

—— =

A DAY OF PLEASURE. (From the Note-book of a Creatwre of Impulse.) Not a cab to be seen anywhere! Early morning, and no ——, to call one .~ me. retty state things—might murdered in our beds. Mem.—Write to the Commissioner of Police. Got to the station somehow. Book-stall opening. Boy in at ce. Want a daily yeaa. Boy has no change for a gw to Messrs. W. H. 8S. ann N. Train at last. Guard doesn’t open door. Suppose because I am not travelling first class. Remonstrate. He does not answer, but whistles and waves his flag. Mem.—Write to the traffic manager of the railway company. Have to take an early omnibus to get to another station. Conductor gives me change for a shilling in pence. Mem.—Write, as directed, to the secre- tary “in cases of incivility of the com- pany’s servants.” Have to take the boat. Official explains that the booking office is closed, and that I shall have to pay on board. Mem. 7 hanes to = — on Physical Culture’’). Sanh Nery os ~ F esata condinn excellent correct. Must really take But then there ’s $1 LT book on ‘ Procrastination.’ Fy t.. I must up my Political gy Lo cog Siwy ne Rg Yes; Stare a rot when you've got to pum tn

Mem.—Write to the caterers. Return home. Some of the passengers inclined to be rowdy. Mem.—Write another letter to favourite . Should be more gangways. Suppose Thames Conservancy responsible. At any rate, safe to commu- nicate with the Mansion House. Mem.—Write to Lord Mayor. Cab home. Coachman inclined to over- charge. He expresses opinion that I am ‘no eman. Mem.—Write to cab pro a-r % make soy a- Mislaid my latchkey. one hear. C. not on his beat. - Might be all murdered in our Mem.—Once again, letter to Commis- sioner of Police. Nezt day.—Forget all about it.

A Damped Cricketer on Play in May. Tue fielders stood out in a pope her lake, While the downpour was just a-lullin When the batsmen ran (I make no mist ’T was a sort of double seulli And then the umpires woul “bale the wicket, An amphibious game, but it was not cricket !

Most appropriate Boos ror a Visitor TO OUR NON-CONSUMING-ITS-OWN-SMOKE Mz- TROPOLIS.—Black’s G

Tratsa Innepenta.—The present Minis- try at the Quirinal.

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL [Jone 11, 1898, THE.WESTMINSTER CLOCK-WORKS. As THE Hovr oF Re-OPENING STRIKES, THE’ WELL-KNOWN FIGURES EMERGE FROM A RECESS ON EACH SIDE AND MEET AS USUAL, “WHY VEGETARIAN ?” (See Article in ‘‘ Nineteenth Century” for June.) My pear Str Henry THompson,—You are not a vegetarian. Not a bit of it. There were many heresies of old, and the Arian was one of the chief. Nowadays, it is the Veget-Arian who is really quite outside your Orthodox Rules and Regulations for Food and Feeding. Your “reply to critics” in the Nineteenth Century is most excellent, and knocks on the head the garbler who rearranges your remarks to suit his quotations. Sir Henry, you are honoured. What writings are those which the enemy of mankind quotes to suit his own purpose? I do not pause for a reply. Such a critic of your work is, to apply an Ibsenian title to him, a “ Headerless Garbler.” When your works, Sir Henry, shall be collected in an “octavo,” your advice will be found in- valuable for all time, all ages, and all appetites, and you “menus” will be to all sensible persons “ menus plaisirs.” Do I know any one man who is purely and simply (very simply) a vegetarian? Let me consider. I know a Latin professor, who says he lives on “Ter-nips per diem.” Lives! Nay, he exists. And for how long? Some style themselves “vegetarians” be- cause they won’t walk, and say that they have arrived at that time of life which may be styled a “Cab age.” Another I know is followed over the sheep-fields by a canine companion, termed by him, “the Collie Flower of the Flock.” The diner who never has more than one friend to share his meal, calls himself a “ Tater- Tater,” but I question whether he limits himself and companion to this vaanilllie. Another, a traveller, who says he never wanders into unknown paths, professes therefore to be always living on “beat routes.” This is far-fetched, but as I said, he is a traveller, and just arrived from a very long way off. You, Sir Henry, are right. You always are right, whether you are aware of it or not. And those who follow your advice wi insure for themselves a beautiful present (when their birthday comes round) and a still happier future with a cheerful retros 5 This summed up means “Contentment,” the result of good diges- tion. So, Sir Henry, “a votre santé!” On wHo seLones To a “ Mrxep FrepEration.” OUR BOOKING-.OFFICE. Mr. Le Gairenne’s Romance of Zion Chapel (Jonn Lane), despite the vicious weakness of its hero and its second heroine, is a touching story of earthly love, excused by hopelessly false senti- ment, and brought to its logical conclusion by a nm death. The picture of the broken-hearted girl dying of “a great shock” is genuinely pathetic. One of the two essential situa- tions seems as if inspired by a subtle reminiscence of the won- derful forest scene in Zoua’s La Faute de |’ Abbé Mouret. Mr. Le GALLIENNE is a writer “with incumbrances.” These “ incum- brances ” are his affected mannerisms which, when he has settled down to his work, and is going straight ahead with his story, and “going strong” too, he casts to the winds as impedimenta, and we wish that he would never retrace his steps to pick them up at his leisure. “ Ricnarp is himself again” only when he be- comes desperately in earnest. The Datchet Diamonds (Warp, Lock & Co.), by RicHarp Marsa, is a high-pressure express pace novel, whose hero, a somewhat unprincipled young man, gets into a serious diffi- culty as wilfully as did the man who, being “wondrous wise, jumped into a quickset hedge and scratched out both his eyes,” and who, with much the same tact and impulsive energy as was exhibited by the hero of the immortal nursery rhyme, proceeds | to get himself out of the difficulty with satisfaction to his friends, to the girl of his heart, and to the absorbed reader. Decidedly, read it! & Co.). Cleverly-told story of Bohemian life in Paris and London. Just a flavour of Trilby in the earliest portion. The dénotiment leaves it a trifle uncertain as to the actual guilt of the accessory before the fact, but though the murder is at the inning, the mystery about it is preserved to the very end. Scribes and Pharisees, by Witt1am Le Quevx (F. V. Waite | wil] | With this novel at hand you need not regret imprisonment in the house by bad weather for a whole afternoon. Baron ve B.- Prrer Frxp.ater, late of the Gordon Highlanders, has, it ap- from the Westminster Gazette, “declined Balmoral situa- tion.” Will the Alhambra continue to “pay the Piper”?

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June 1}, 1898,} PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. Lrawen Ail ¢ Old Gentleman, ‘*‘ WELL, MY LITTLE MAN, AND HOW MANY FI8H HAVE You CAUGHT? Bad Boy. ** Au, you pon’? catcu mMg/ I KNOW! ‘ou JUST WANT TO TELL YOU, AND THEN YOU 'LL SAY ALVES |" You JU8T WANT ME TO TELL YOU, iE uv’ y ‘Hatves ! FLITTINGS. Pietermaritzburg (or, lag eet for short), April 23, 1898. Deak Mr. Puncu,—We have flitted at length into the “ Garden Colony,” and struck a es nice place in the capital with the 30 above pol syllabic name. me of the inhabitants, I believe, | call it “Sleepy Hollow,” and the Zulu designation is “ Umgun- | gunhlovii,” a pretty little series of gurgles and clicks, which they | tell me means “Home of the Elephant.” Please ask Riper Hacecarp if this is correct. Nearly every name begins in a ten- tative way with Um——. The river here calls itself the Umsin- dusi, and there are the Umgeni, Umgababa, Umkomaas, and so | forth, in the neighbourhood, and for all one knows, Umslopogaas may be the name of your ricksha-boy. These latter products of Natal swarm in the streets. They | are mostly clad in a sort of bathing costume, and are not of a high order of intelligence. It is useless giving them any direc- tion, as they trot like a horse, blowing with a peculiar whistle when winded. If you want to go to the right, you say the Kaffir for “the hand you eat with,” to the left “the hand you forget with” (which seems rather a Hibernicism); when you wish to stop, “ Hlalagahla” (hasten slowly) does the trick, | if you can manage to pronounce it. It sounds like shlahlagashla, shillelaghghastly, or something of the sort. Ladysmith, where we stopped on the way from Johannes- burg, is not a particularly lively place, though it is called the Aldershot of South Africa. The native police there are asto- nishing objects. They have two or three knobkerries, a gum ring ro their heads, a salt-spoon or tooth-brush, or some other etcetera, thrust through their ears, their beards twisted into five or six very thin spikes, and bare legs and feet. We looked in at a murder trial in the court. The evidence, given through an interpreter, seemed to turn on the question as to whether the deceased was killed after he was dead, or viee versd. Anyhow, the process of cross-examination was so i that one of the defendants went to sleep, and had to be prodded up by the aforesaid guardians of the peace. To slumber unconcernedly while your own life is at stake seems the height of indifference, but it is characteristic of the Kaffir. The railway from Ladysmith is one of the corkscrewiest in existence—so much so that it serves many ngers as a sea voyage when the train is chasing its own tail round curves of two or three chains and down gradients of 1 in 30. We found it, however, a pleasant drive down the mountain heights on to the walb-oosted pinta. in the centre of which lies P.M.Burg. The feathery branches of the wattles and the blue-gum leaves brush the train windows as you burrow through the verdant tunnels. To-morrow to visit an old rascal of a native chief in his kraal, and then on to Durban, which is the beginning of India. ours, in the meanwhile, >. eae LANDSCAPE AND LITERATURE, [Whilst they recognised the potent influence which the scenery of the country had exerted on the progress of literature, they could look forward to a fresh extension of that influence as the outcome of geological investigation. —Romames Lectur* of Sir Archihald Geikie.| On, nature, whose charms have so often been sung, To whom poets for ages have looked for inspiring, Around you the verse of all nations has clung Until of your pans we ’re apt to be tiring. We ’ve revelled in meadows, in mountains, in trees, Brooks, forests and gardens—-we ’ve lived in the thick of them ; The nightingale’s nasilinen the hummings of bees, We ’ve heard of so often we ’re getting quite sick of them ; Yet oft though your face has by progress been marred, Till the verse in its honour must needs grow inferior, Still this one resource there remains to the bard— This brilliant suggestion—explore your interior. His eye in a frenzy of fancy may glean, Mid primitive vestiges new inspirations, Find ballads and sonnets in notes pliocene, And rondeaus in paleozoic formations. With backgrounds of lava and igneous rocks, Weird pictures long buried await the explorer ; Grim epics of earthquakes, upheavals and shocks, And lyrics of fossilized fauna and flora. So piercing the crust of exterior clods, ugh richly-strown strata, seductive and streaky, While on paths of geology Pegasus plods, The oie he fi ren | to Sir ArncurpaLp Gerxkie.

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276 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [June 11, 1898, OPERATIC NOTES. ™ Tuesday.—While the Cyclists, the Professional Wagnerian Cyclists, are hard at work during the day practising, we are treated to quite un-Wagnerian old friends in the evening. So to-night it is Madame Calvé as Carmen. To have seen and heard her once in this part is a joy for ever. Calvé is incomparable ; the real Spanish Carmen from head to foot; as she was the genuine Italian as Santuzza. Equally at home in Spain or Italy, and yet, when at home, French. Her singing is of the first quality, and her acting equals her singing : result, perfec- tion. House crammed to hear her. “ Toréador contento ” just caught the encore as it was dropping, and M. Renavp did his Toréadorest with what power he has at his disposal; but, as a matter of fact, the Toréador himself is a genuine Spanish “ Bounder,” and M. Renavp doesn’t quite fill the part. Miss Marie Enoue as “the girl he left behind him,” personified virtue “‘ Carmine di superi, placantur, carmine Manes.”— Horace. ** Boxes, gallery, pit, and stall, ’ Calvé, as Carmen, delights them all.”— Free Translation. in pale blue and pink, and was in every way charming. Miss Utilissima BavermemsTer-singer, as one of the naughty gipsy girls, quite all right again, whereat audience delighted. As to the chorus-cum-dancing in last act, steps should be taken for its improvement. Calvé discarded the black glittering dress she used to wear “once upon a time,” as now she sports orange velvet. How quaintly she dresses her hair in flat bandeaux, too! M. Bownarp did his level best as Don José, the infi-m-of-purpose young man, and in the last act, got a bit above himself, dra- matically. Wednesday.—Welcome, Mozart! Le Nozze di Figaro, with aristocratic Madame Eames quite perfect as the Countess ; Madame pe Lussan good as ever in the part of the cheeky Cherubino, the Italian Buttons ; while Madame Norpica, as Susanna, gave us @ missis-piece, which, we suppose, is the feminine of masterpiece, and if not, it ought to be. M. Epovarp pz Reszxe was indis- one (weather very trying for throats just now), and so M. UrricHe was elevated to the rank of Count for the occasion. His sudden accession to the ranks of the Italian aristocracy was perhaps just a little too much for him, if the tremolo in his voice may be taken as indicating nervousness. Harpsichord and piano assisted in orchestra, piano giving his old friend a lead, and putting him right when slightly in error. M. Ranpgcozr, conducting, seemed pleased, and Miss BavERMEISTER excellent as Marecellina, a wonderful transformation ! scholarly critic of the Daily Telegraph wrote, “Madame Eames was in admirable voice” (“ Hear! hear!” from ourselves), “and there were not a few present who would gladly have heard her repeat ‘ Dove Sono.’” Most of us would have been considerably astonished had Madame Eames, as the Countess, sung “ Dove Sono” even once; but what would have been the feelings of Madame Norpica, in whose part, that of Susanna, the song “ Dove Sono” occurs! Wouldn’t Madame Norpica have been justified in quoting with indignation the very words of the song, the translation of which is worth producing : — “ Heav’ns! WhereamI! What presumption! Have you ar’c—but hence, away!” And the bold Count who has neither pert nor parcel in that particular scene, would have had to retreat before the face of the justifiably irritated waiting woman, who would not have waited any longer. But such lapsus calami will occasionally happen in the criticisms of the best regulated pen-masters. st, and refreshing ourselves for the Great Cycling Wag- nerian Show. THE FIN DE SIECLE SUITOR. I Love you in an all absorbing, fond, unselfish way, I dream of you the long night thro’, I think of you each day, Whene’er I hear your voice, my dear, a spell o’er me is cast, The rapture of your presence is (I’m certain) bound to last. On you I’! pour the loving store and treasures of my heart, With riches of an earthly kind I am more loth to part, I’ sing your praise in —s lays, for are you not my queen? You ’l find the verses published in our local magazine. So deep is my affection I would joyfully propose But for one great objection, which now I will disclose, Intense is your suspense, so I ’Il endeavour to be short, The fact is, that a husband you’re not able to support. _-zg “ OHN BULL | 2 s RAL MERCUANT ge} 4 " | id, Gaby Zz a & » aL xp BA SY Gz Z ae ‘Z o QQ, = “4 = | = — FZ { zx t em, ~ PD, Zi . Y \W WY ( AN ENGLISH DEMAND AND GERMAN SUPPLY. Mr. Punch (Chief Clerk). ‘‘ ANY VACANCIES FOR Foreicn CLERKS IN THIS OrFiceE? YES, THERE ARE—PLENTY ; AND WILL BE UNTIL JoHN BULL’s SONS LEARN SENSE—4sD MODERN LAnevaces!” "(Much of the commercial know of Germany has been supplied by oung Germans who have been employed as -_ rhe. mn Bann A foreign correspondents. British c cannot as i on- dents, because not one in a th d can corr d correctly in any foreign By the way, in his next morning’s notice of the Nozze, the language.” —Consular Report from Stettin, issued by Foreign Office.) ~~ rma!

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—June 11, 1898. LIQUEURS OF THE #4" CF CHARTREUSE. @orpk Sven, WThese delicious — yn which have come so much into public favour on account of their won- derful properties of aiding Diges- / «tion and preventin y spe; ¢ & can now be had of ahh the princi: pal Wine and Spirit Merchants, Kew A) y 4rn* and all good Hotels and Restau- ghout the Kingdom. Sole Consignee, act red by NT IX OYLE, 45, Crutched Priars, London, E.C manuf u MaccReEGORS S. Mordan«Ce- — | the Ritentees of the ever poinled Pencil-case can be ahlained J cet wi on Hall marke eS ‘ conjunclion with the Hall mark WHISKY — | KINAHAN’S ‘Che Spirit othe Age.’ |§ ” q PALATABLE. ‘ @ SMOKE THE CELEBRATED L L AND GLENISLE PURE. Ni Old Irish Whiskies. | Scotch Whisky Sold, PERFECT. | 5 S66 PIONEER iJ WHISKIES. Special Liqueur, , 6) GUILDFORD STREET, YORK ROAD, 48 /- per doz. LAMBETH, 8.28 Famous old Scotch, iB \ Sion’ mere - doz. ir in est in Net Cauh Carriage Paid. | f : ¢| SWEETENED TOBACCO 68 08 ee — 4 4 KNOWN ALL OVER THE WORLD. | % @ %, GREAT CLYDE STREET, GLASGOW. “It is pec uliarly % weil adapted for medic inal purposes. *—Lancer, 28 March, 1606 MANUFACTURED BY THE Pa Si meh | fate et CYCLES, } aia “COOPER” CYCLES. RICHMOND CAVENDISH To have ‘started first may have been a mese accident. To have kept first is Co From £5 10s. m petition Dates. yo ne C L a proof of undeniable superiority. less Steel Tubes, Ball 0. TD., aml - earin t FRERES'| / su Be Seshion | AT THEIR BONDED WORKS, LIVERPOOL. THE SWIFT CYCLE CO., Ltd., rks-CoventTry. | | London—15 & 16, Hotsorw Viapvuct, E.C HOWARD BEDFORD Foughs. Harrows, Cultivators, ——_— > Horse Rakes, Straw owers, Ha x Zresses, bn Ee, Engines, & Light Rail ways. PIMPLY FACES Fungles, blotches, binckhea la, red, wy i = ‘ oily, mothy skin, itching, onaly sealp, ' In Silk only. See ' F thin, and falling hair, «nd babs "y Shemaiaiees So —_ =& ‘ ¥ prevented by Curicuna Boar, the most effeo- Se 4 tive skin purifying and ape ye Fe — = Protected by " a} the tolen beth —— wl as — Patents and J JY with ty and Gear | And retailed by all first-class FIRST QUALITY ‘ aty ee kccnre W ca tobacconists at home and abroad. Trade Marks at Home and tic * Abroad. i r SOLD EVERYWHERE. ft ai Cll a Tn Xt” . i Is sold throughout the world. British Depot SO UT HALL S 4 omy MD - ‘ coe, F ye ve 7p, Bece = : — How to Pur ty and Beautify the Ghia,” PATENT post free. BOOTS.) || 33 * oF Ag | mom mmours sxx Good Material AND ees -| || WORKMANSHIP. alogue. Made to measure, of either Black or Tan Calf. Send P.O. direct to the makers— SOUTHALL & CO. (Derr. 98), KIRKSTALL ROAD, LEEDS.

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OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL—Joune 11, 1898. PUNCH, The London Medical Record says : Retained when all other Foods are rejectlev. lt is in- ’ valuabie FOOD For INFANTS CER: BENGER’S Food is sold by Chemists, &c, everywhere 1 he british Medical Journal says: ‘Benger’s Food’ has by its excellence established a reputa- tion of its own.” INVALIDS ano THE AGED “Waiting for PEARS'.” C. Brandauer & Co’ Circular-Pointed Pens. SEVEN PRIZE MEDALS . Phese Series of Pens Write as Smoothly as a Lead Pencil. Neither Seratch nor Spurt, the points being rounded by a special process Assort ~d Sample Box for 7 stamps from the 0444444444444 4544444 bbb Works, BIRMINGHAM. COLEMAN’S * mace rom rot wine, Liebig’ " aouect” of “Meat ‘and Extract of Malt. OVER FIVE THOUSAND Unsolicited Testimonials have been received from Medical Men om rinronek Important Testimonial has been received from Applecross, Rosshire, N.B.. July 2nd, 1807 = car Sirs, ase To wi ard quarter of-a-dozen * Wincarnis immediately as my patient's suppl is about done. I trust there ws he no delay, as he kos other nourishing me, = has been sustaines ‘and gaine d strengt h by * Wincernis elve we ure fuithfu y for DUNCAN FPLET( HER, % R.C P- Sele Proprietors and Manufacturers of the above, COLEMAN & CO.. Ltd., NORWICH aH and LONDON. a in Bottles, 2 o4 free of charge, on receipt « Dh matali address Sample bottle may be had, SCOTLAND’S BEST. Sold Everywhere. . AS SUPPLIED TO THE HOUSE OF AND LEADING CLUBS. SUPERIOR TO AND CHEAPER THAN & Mineral Water Co., ANY OF THE miei N.B. | FOREIGN THE SCOTTISH Lmemine | MINERAL WATERS, NATURAL MINERAL TABLE WATER.“ "™*™s",""—mO" COMMONS ie SAMPLE OW APPLICATION. In Splits, Pints, | a Quarts. PRO PRIETORS— e ‘St. Ronan’s Wells” | Priated William Stuart Smith, of No. %, Loraine wie by Mia Street, in the Precinct of Whitefriars, Havoway, c the Parish of St. 5 eg ape ef Lordon, and pu! by him at No. W444 of Messrs. Bradbury, Agnew, Limited. trots in the arian ot Bt belae Cath City of London. —Sarcmoar, June Sha PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY