Punch 1898-06-04: Vol 114 Iss 2969

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x “ Q wl I ‘ Q 4 a 2 a GRAND HOTEL, LONDON. THE ROYAL PIER HOTEL, RYDE, |. W. CLIFTONVILLE WOTEL, MARCATE. =scvee- GORDON HOTELS Secu BURLINCTON HOTEL, EASTBOURNE.

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MRS. HUMPHRY WARD'S NEW NOVEI On JUNE ©. Crown bro, & | ag OF BAN NISDALE. Mre uruny Wann, Author of “ Robert biome Marcella,” “ Gir George Tressady, & London SMITH, ELDER & ©0., 14, Waterioo Place CHATTO & WINDUS’S NEW BOOKS. MKS. L. T. MEADES NEW NOVEL, oO THE BRINK OF ACHASM, is now ready. Crown Svo, cloth gut, 6s AMELIE RIVES S NEW NOVEL, MERIEL: a pe Story, is now BRET HARTE'S a ae BOOK, SOME LATER VERSES, “— be ady on Juneé. Crown Svo, cloth gilt, NEW SIX-SHILLINC NOVELS. THE HERITAGE OF EVE. 8; HM OM. Srerrs A | WOMAN TEMPTED HIM. wratt, Author of “ With the Kee 4 Rage ee. ‘SECOND EDITION was SHE JUSTIFIED? by) Baaarrr, Author of“ Polly Morrison ISS BALMAINE’S PAST. | M* By B. M. Cacaee, Author of “ Beyond the FORTUNE'S GATE. By Avan NING. Hy G. Manviuse FPews, Author of The White Virgin (COLONEL THORNDYKE'S SECRET. By G. A. Hewrr, Author of “ Rujub ' 7 NEW THREE-AND-SIXPENNY NOVELS. A RACE FOR MILLIONS. by D. 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r Street, § ‘Tuise op nied by i PETS | PETS, PETS, } NTS. NS, iL. que, Jung 4, 1898.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL. t* W/o f° OUR YEOMANRY-SWORD EXERCISE. A Suggestion for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, A WHITSUN HOLIDAY, (A Page prom a Modern Diary.) Mond y.—Up with the lark. Breakfast not ready. Spent my spare time in closing the boxes. Got the family into the train with difficulty. Devoted the day to travelling. Reached our destination tired out. Glad to get to bed. Tuesdoy.— Up with the lark. Did the sights. Had no time to look at anything, as I had to attend to the tickets. Saw all the museums. My party coming out when I had got the catalogues. So managed our visits that there was no opportunity of dis- cussing meals, Got back in time for table d’hote, but preferred sleep to food. Went to bed, Wednesday.—Up with the lark. Off again travelling. On the road all day. Having to fit in the corresponding trains, had no leisure for meals. Arrived at our new resting-place late at night. So off as quickly as possible to bed. Thursday.— Up with the lark. Spent the morning in sight- seeing under the customary conditions. Waited upon the family Looked after the catalogues and umbrellas. Food again at a discount. Dispensed with dinner. Glad to get to bed. Friday.— Up with the lark. Time to return, Back again by a train. No food. Norest. Half-way home. Arrived in time to see the lights being put out. Off to bed. Saturday.—Up with the lark. Continued my journey post haste. rote up my diary. Find that I have got over several hundreds of miles ; but for the life of me cannot remember any- thing that I have seen. Don’t recollect any square meal, Back again, tired, and only pleased to be in bed. Sunday.—Sleeping. Monday.—Up with the lark. Recovered from my week’s rest,” and glad to get back again to work. Apvice To HongyYMOoNERS ABOUT TO StaRT ON a CONTINENTAL Trair.—The most appropriate place for “les noces” should be “The Hotel Marry-time, Calais.” SPORTIVE SONGS. (A personage of the Speculative Order still addresses a Lady of the same versuasion, after ten years’ courtship.) Once more we met on the Derby Day, The rollicking, frollicking day of play, And my thoughts were wandering far away. (Wasn’t there fun in the time gone by?) Ten years ago "twas Ayrshire won, And I betted you odds just ten to one When Crowberry nearly the crack had done. (Wasn't there fun in the time gone by?) You followed the Duke in the next year, too, When Donovan mastered the “ Brewer’s Brew,” And the Goldmine did what it could for few. (Wasn't there fun in the time gone by?) Then we were plighted hand in hand As we went to the hill from the bleak Grand Stand ; I deemed I had won the best prize in the land! ( Yes, there was fun in the time gone by ') But when Sainfoin had beaten Le Nord (I rhyme it in English), you struck no chord, But looked, I remarked, most terribly bored. (It wasn’t all fun in the time gone by!) Brave Dorset Common upset that chance That a Gouveneur triumph would give to France, When the numbers went up how your eyes did dance! (Once again fun in the time gone by /) Never united, but fancy free, Sir H was not for you or me. If La Fléche had won we row One should be. ( There were tears in the laughs of the time gone by /) Tsinglass cost us many a pound, We imagined that Raeburn would cover the ground, But our love was as sure, as our tips unsound. (Happy go lucky in time gone by!) You were always a Tory from birth, I know, And I—well, a sort of Unionist foe, But Lord Rosesgery caused us the bitterest throe. (94, 95 we had best pase by /) In Ladas, Sir Visto, we had no claim ; We scorned the Primrose Minister’s name. We were broken, but Love still fanned our flame. (The time wasn’t long in the passing by /) Next came the season of 96. As usual, both of us made e chicks, You had got nothing, and J the same—“ nix.” (Still we laughed gaily in time gone by /) The Prince’s Persimmon made matters seem right ; The horizon with wedding and wealth was bright, But you would wait a year for Veasquez—¢g night ! (How I do mourn for the time gone by /) Now I remind you, for ten long years I’ve battled with betting and terror and tears, And I’ve never a hope but is cradled in fears. (1 Le time isn’t long in the passing by /) 1’d the winner! The port, of my Mecca, in you, And at Jeddah my vows I will once more renew. Though a Decade of Derbies is known to the few. (But the ‘* Yea,” after all, makes the time fly by ) Satisractory Navat Inretiicence.—The French dock yards are very busy in building new warships, tomes ® view a possible war with Great Britain. Tant mieur. We have always readily accepted these tributes to our maritime superiority when the time comes for annexing them. Nore sy Our Irnrerressiste One (wandering, as usual).—Q. What is the only canine horticultural equivalent to the dog-rose / A. The colley-ower | [Durance vile waiting for him. VOL. CXIV, Zz

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254 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [June 4, 1898, . ue | VV; Wie Ale Miss Britannia (meditatively), DISENGAGED. mnie my Hii) yi seaee ’ fan As ihs 44a I] Mh | i | Hy il WL **] rHink Unoie Sam wou LD BE A GOOD PARTNER ; AND 80 WOULD LITTLE Jap! 1 wonvpEerR IF MY ‘Covustn-GerMaNn,’ WILLIAM, WILL ASK ME TOO!”

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Jone 4, 1898.) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. OPERATIC NOTES. Royal Birthday Night, May 21.—For Die Meistersinger house crowded with worshipping Wagnerites. The minority delighted but overpowered, as is the fate of minorities. ith the Brothers De Reszke, Prancon, Prineie (which for the look of the thing should be spelt “ Prin- gel”), Sovnacrorx, and Emma Eames in one cast, with Conductor Mancrne.ui in the chair, the most exacting Wagnerite could not wish for more, and will never again be satisfied with less. W ednesday.—La Favorita ought always to be the opera par excellence for Derby Night. But as the place of the favourite was taken by Jeddah at Epsom, so Faust walked in at Covent Garden. Suzanne Apams came out as a charming Marguerite, with a lover Van Dyck Faust not quite up to the mark. It is satisfactory in this cas} that Van Dyck should first appear as an old master. Van Dyox good in the trio. Poor Mile. Bavermetster as Mar- tha, for the first time these many years, suddenly gave in and fainted. The curtain lowered; much sympathy; considerable excitement; then, on the curtain being raised, every one delighted to see Mlle. BavERMEISTER, the suffering Martha, ten- derly supported by Epovarp pe Reszxz, who, as the designing Mephistopheles, was infernally kind to her. And so, with his support, Martha managed to get through her share of the opera. Thursday.— Borro’s Mefistofele. Awk- ward way of spelling Mephistopheles, when one has to substitute “f” twice for the accustomed “ph.” Much the same as it we came to spell physician “fysician,” and to take “fysic.” Madame Catve, doubling the parts of Marguerite, “with the golden hair a-hanging down her back,” so as to make a strong contrast between “the fair one with the golden locks” and a dark-haired Heten of Troy, with no- thing classical about her but the name. But what matters the hair, if we only get the music? And not only the music, but also such acting as that with which Madame Cave delighted a crowded house. Monsieur Bonnarp as Faust, “le Bonnard des dames.” mighty good, and PLancon a fine fiend. ManctyeLui meritorious. Fridau.—Meistersinger as before. Wage- nerian Cyclists inoniring when the Cycle is going to begin? Report says that on the Cycle davs and nights breakfasts, lun- cheons, dinners, teas and suppers will be provided in the house at certain fixed in- tervals of rest during the performance, and fo: the sake of those to whom some repose is a vhysical necessity, there will be a cessation of opera during a few small and early morning hours, after which Wagner- ites will be themselves again. At least, that is what that well-informed person, Signor Bensamin Trovarto tells us. A Dramatio Cuz.—Mr. Punch is sorry to see by personal inspection that the medallion-tablet affixed by Cuartes Kean to the memory of his father, Epmunp Kean, on the wall of the parish church of St. Mary Magdalene, Richmond, Surrey, is rapidly wasting away. The great actor's nose is visibly diminishing, and his com- plexion is that of very mottled soap. Up! up! then, ge gallant histrions, headed Generals Sir Hznry —, — BORGER thia charge Wrnpaam, Beersonm of Neg- ALExanpEr, and repel Millionaire (who has been shown into fashionable Artist's studio, and has been kept waiting a few minutes), “‘ SHOP!” lect! No doubt the Rev. Canon Procrsr, Vicar of Richmond, would act as chaplain to the forces. SKENDALOUs !—Two emissaries from the office of The Cantab were deputed to inter- view Mrs. Kenpat during her recent visit to Cambridge. The report of these two interviewers—neither dared go alone—is published in the abi ve-mentioned Univer- sity journal. It isexcollent and instructive reading, and should send up the paper's sale to an enormous extent. Mrs ENDAL itted the interviewers to approach her. was her mistake. Anyone positively objecting to be interviewed should not admit such unprincipled villains, as the lady’s unfortunate experience of journa- lists shows them to be, into her a. And apparently she was alone! un- protected female in the - journalists armed, it might be, with cold of two! ha steel pens, and capable of anything! ‘I do not,” declared Mrs. Kenpat, ‘‘ believe i articles ; they are all false. editors — t are the most ere is not one in newspa And as for venal class in existence. who cannot be bought '’—she might have added, ‘‘and sold,” but she didn't—* and who will not lie if anyone makes it worth his while.” Ah! there’s the point, ‘‘ worth his while.”’” Now, Mrs. KENDAL, save up your money, and, that you may have proof positive of the truth of your assertion, you will find that next W y Mr. Punch is to be “‘ bought” —for threepence!! Oan’t take less. Order early. Tos new “Russian naval programme” Gokce, thot conasas, lpbullder, would BEAT t t ,w ve recommended. Thus it is that Rus- sian history re-peters itself.

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256 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [June 4 1898. ' WP titi \ Y i Wal? ' | y Se ||!) My hha ~— > HU ty . NAHI) \ 7” if —~ | is! i ~_ ‘s -~ - ~ PLEASANT PROSPECT. ' hive you KNow, I'M NOT GOING TO RIDE BEHIND THAT Brute!” Post-boy. ‘* Lor’ BLESS you, Sir, IT's ONLY "ER GAMMON. WHY, SHE 'LL BE AS QUIET AS A SHEEP WHEN WE ONCE GET ‘ER FIXED ATWEEN THE Swarts!” Nervous Traveller. *‘ Look HERE, OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. HOTEL SICN SUCCESTED BY A RECENT CONTROVERSY. : INSPIRED his oan, a pPaMencion Siyemareset, Mr. | ] ; - | RANKFORT Moore lavished on the w glittering strands | r -EBU of wit. His dialogue, unbrokenly brilliant, does not tire because TXION HOTEL, RAMBLESURY. it seems so easily done. My Baronite would advise the gentle | ; Notice. reader to take a sheet of foolscap and attempt to imitate it. The . , , scenes are chiefly set on the chores of the Mediterranean, the | Lady Cyclists in “Rational Costume” | gay life of the English-American colony being reproduced with a are informed that Respectable Skirts for pleasant tincture of acidity. Mr. Moore’s most life-like people use at all meals are on hire at the Bar. are his Irish and his Americans. Lord Ballyseedy is delightful, Benjamin Buizzarp, and is with characteristic undutifulness outdone by his niece ingela. The understanding between the two distinctly varies from that established in ordinary avuncular relations. la Fiorence WarpeNn has many a _ novel than this Place aux Dames at Epsom. Little Miss Prim (F. V. Wurre & Co.). It will serve to : , beguile a leisure hour, or several leisure hours, according to “ the | Pg ey mo ees boy Well thet taste and fancy” of the po, who may take it at a gulp or in not much to boast of! My uncle had a colt that won the Oaks small doses. It excites, but disappoints. : ca ‘{ And all her lady he believed her. My faithful ‘‘ Co.” reports that Mr. Lucy’s new edition of his | ene ee ee l — ee Life of Gladstone is more interesting than ever. An additional) (5, pee Srruz.—If some new stores are started with the ides chapter completes the work, and tells the sad doings of the last | 1 : : certain well-known B: ten days. But in spite of the recorded cloud, the book is as 7 | of weslling the pm ae ated ‘Ou. Proprietor. 1s gold—gold its worth. Tas Banos ps B.- ‘sem estab a, ¥ not they assume the motto of ‘‘ Out- At the Free Library. | Smrps to se Scurriep wits Barrisn Coat.—We have plent Clerk (after search). Yes, Miss, I’m sorry to say that The Men of Se the mot d’ordre for the British Fleet wil whe mods the Ragive = out at eee FP eaves eee oo Sigs, See wanes ad want to rend oll about Sone or Gratitupe From “Carmen” (for Car-v r in the at — new carriages on the L. C. & D. Continental)" Cor i Testimony or Exrerts.—The financial results of the Military Contento! Cor-or-ridor! Cor-or-ridor!” Tournament are likely to be as good this season as in former years. Two great military authorities have spoken =~ of the Tue onty Nation with wich ENGLAND ALONE MIGHT BE performances ; one is Private View; the ae Gane Public. Distncurxep To Copz.—A Powerful Combi-nation. ‘eas 2 —_~ wee go att a

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June 4, 1898.} PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. —— BEFORE THE PUBLIC AMUSEMENT COMMITTEE. Tue inquiry into the proceedings of A Runaway Girl at the Gaiety Theatre took place to-day in this Court. Miss Extatins Terriss (Mrs. Seymour Hicks) said that of course she was bound to like her part very much. It was so new and fresh. She played an ingénue. For the first time? Oh, dear, no! Why, she was — playing an ingénue. Being asked if ever before this she sung a love-song with the lime. thought oo. Unable to explain why shere rt tso. Unable to i y was nothing strikingly dramatic for her to do, or remarkably original for her to sing, in this piece, but she wished the Com- mittee to understand that the piece was not written by Mr. light on her, accom replied that she rat | Hicks alone. If it had been written All for Her, why, then—— (Applause, during which witness smiled sweetly, curtsied, and | withdrew.) | sional wink, or a demurely sly expression, a | Not alone. | collaborateur. | hoped so, but couldn’t say. | what his dialogue was. | written. | would rather not say any more on the subject. Forgot whether | have seen it. | Opera, or the Courier’s song. Perhaps Mr. Seymour Hicks did. Mr. Lovurs Brapriretp, who addressed his replies to the Com- mittee in a light and airy manner, said, Am I the Gaiety jewne premier? Why, certainly. Style founded on Frep Leste and Hicks, with a touch of ArrHur Roperts? Well, if you say so, good, but not aware of it myself. Consider a touch-an’-go jaunty manner, a high-coloured make-up, and a light, summery costume, varied by suddenly earnest sentimentality, with occa- useful voice, a capable pair of legs for step-dancing, the qualifications for “a Gaiety young man.” In present part of Guy Stanley—(by the way, he objected to being called a Guy)—he had not much to do or sing. Should poohallle work it up. Stand down? With pleasure. Ta, ta! See you later. Mr. Harry Nicnouiis, who spoke in a rather low tone, and did | not seem quite at his ease, said he was an old hand at stage busi- ness. Knewitall. Other people copied him, yes. Why shouldn’t he copy others, and try his hand at ye, new musical play ? Oh, no. In conjunction with Servmovur Hicks. Di not see himin Court. Sorry. Hicks illelacryme. Collaboration excellent ; ahem—oh! yes—might have got on better without Did they speak his dialogue on the stage? He In fact, couldn’t recollect exactly Could swear some dialogue had been With Seymour Hicks? Oh, yes, but—— Well, he he had ever seen Fra Diavolo, or played in The Thumpsee Legacy. Was sure he hadn’t played in The Chieftain. _ Could not say he remembered the rier in th Did they intend this to be a genuine comic opera? Certainly, emphatically—that is—they commenced with that idea,—but— somehow—couldn’t explain how—probably—eh ?—oh ! yes—in the oman of rehearsals—it gradually became a—a—in fact, a “Gaiety | Piece.” Good-day. (Here the witness nodded pleasantly to the Committee, and stepped down.) Mr. Punch’s own critic being called, said he agreed with last witness. The piece began with the promise of genuine Fra Dia- voloish comic Opera, but the promise was not “kept to the ear.” Was it light, bright, and amusing? Certainly it was. Every- body seemed to have an equal chance of making his or her part stand out from the rest, and Miss Exuative Terriss, Miss Erne. Haypon, Messrs. Epmunp Payne and Frep Kaye took every advantage of the numerous opportunities thus offered. As to the story, that, as Mr. Toots had remarked, was “of no consequence.” Quite sympathised with the troubles and trials of authors and of Mr. Gzorcr Epwarpes in their gallant attempt to make a cake all plums. Epmunp Payne was inimitable, and Frep Kaye as natural as if he were in a comedy, except when he suddenly remembered that he was in an extravaganza. Mr. Georce Epwarpes, in reply to several questions, said, he considered this new piece much the same as its p : e opened well,—yes—and there was certainly a promise of light comic opera in it. For his part, he should prefer genuine comic opera. He wasn’t so idiotic as to try and educate the public ; he always let the public educate him. They got what they wanted, and therefore he got what he wanted. Would he express any opinion as to the merits of A Runaway Girl? Yes, he would, with pleasure, when A Runaway Girl had finished her run; not before. There were parts in it for everybody, which was saying a good deal.—a good deal more, in fact, than the parts have to say for themselves. As atitle, “A Runaway” might not be quite appropriate ; he hoped she had “come to stay.” If the Committee would excuse him, he would be glad to get away, as he had twenty-five board meetings to attend, and some fifty theatrical companies. home and abroad, to look after, so if they would dispense with his further attendance—— (Applause, during which witness bowed and retired.) Jane. ‘‘THERE’S A DEAL OF DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOARD ScnHoot And A Boarpine ScHooi, isn't THERE, Miss Errix!”’ Effie. ‘“‘Onty Turee Letrers, JAne.” Jane. ‘‘I1 sez. You mean J N G.” Effie. ‘No. I mean L. 8. D./” ADVERTISEMENTS ACCORDING TO THE ACT. [ The Act of Parliament requires a tradesman to give an ‘ absolutely true’ description of his goods.””"— Decision of the Court of Appeal | MUSTARD OF THE WORST QUALITY.—This much wasted, necessary article of consumption in a highly adulterated condi- i can be obtained at a cost immensely in excess of its value at—— THE ROAD TO RUIN.—The direct course is to borrow money at something over 150 per cent. from PLanTaGenet pe Vere, né Levy SprpERwess. THE UNIVERSAL MONEY PROVIDING SYNDICATE, LIMITED.—As might have been expected from its name, a swindle. Full particulars of the method it was proposed to take to absorb the cash of the shareholders can be obtained of the Secretary. THE NEW PIECE IS STILL RUNNING, thanks to the house being crammed with “ paper ” at every performance. It is a mercy for a “ deadhead” to look in. It is necessary, however, to warn proposing theatre-goers that the pieces in the pro- gramme are quite the worst on record. AN EXCURSION TRIP FOR THOSE WHO SEEK EXCITE- MENT can be obtained any day by starting at noon for the seaside. First-class ngers guaranteed third-class com- pany. Time occupied on the journey amounts to about three times that advertised. Crush and disgust with place of desti- nation guaranteed. Usual discomfort en route home. Possible smash at the end of the journey. THE HONEST PUBLICITY SYNDICATE.—This to-day is started to describe the merits or denounce the demerits of all new ventures. As a commencement it declares that its own articles of association are of the most fraudulent character

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? ———— 256 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Jue 4, 1898. | Lady Cyclist (te yuring in North Holland). ‘‘Wuar a Ripicviovs Costume!” NOSCE TEIPSUM. THE JUDGMENT OF PARIS.? Farr demoiselles that in the quest of modes Have made with us your transient abodes, Towing across the rather captious main Your patient, panting mommas in your train, While poppa in his daily working collar Pursued at home the desultory dollar— Behold our sacred feelings rudely shaken To mark the desperate turn that things have taken! We hear of female patriotic leagues, Banded to pulverise our French intrigues ; How you have given way to warlike pas- sions, And mean to do without the latest fashions ; To cut, in fact, the modistes of our town, And never wear another Gallic gown. Merely because our democratic press Felt drawn towards a Monarch in distress ; Because our free Republic had to do | Just what her friend, the Tartar, told her to; Because, perhaps, we took about a week To send your telegram from Martinique ; Or, lightly winking, looked the other way When Spanish cruisers came to coal, or stay— For this you swear to sever your connection With those who frame the ultimate con- | fection ! | | And as with Art, so too, in turn, should | | Turned half your men to Anglomaniacs? (their mark in future, remembering that gear, | Where shall you find its habitat but never Ah! can you thus so easily forget And this your sacrifice, par trop de zéle, The blessed memory of LAFAYETTE, Pray, how should it affect the fighting (Meaning the man, of course, and not the male ? ‘ liner,) | Your warriors praise you now with “ Nobly Than whose performance nothing could be done!” ner | But what will follow when the war is won’ When. by the bravery of France, you broke What if you found your Worts-less beauty Perfidious Albion’s confounded yoke ? scorned, | And Mars should mock at Venus un- | | But let it pass. Besides, in any case, | _ adorned ? ; The Artist knows no prejudice of race ; | Be wise in time; trust not your native | Cosmopolite as is the wanton wind charms, 3 We Chere work at large for Womankind ; | But come where Paris waits with open | We have no local bias in our breast, | j arms ; he But simply lean to such as pay the best. For though her heart is in the Bonds of Spain, Beauty Of Youins pockets how her hands are fain! Bice glorious fee ie Stee of Dee; o no peculia: attached, ) Her binant mM ow vey Fn choicest modes| TRUE Nosrirry.—At the recent meeting are hatched ; of the Nobel Dynamite Trust Co., the net All human ties she barters for a bonnet, rofit was declared at £232,773, with a As though her future state depended on it. | dividend of twelve per cent. Nobel Has not this instinct (even found in blacks) | indeed! They’ll have to keep up to London for tailors; but, for woman’s | «« Nobel-esse oblige.” rary etng and oy body Noble in this Company. No“ Nobble.’ Ah! would you waive the source of al your grace, Wuere Messrs. — aNpD Ponp — And retty nose to spite your|TO HAVE THEIR EADQUARTERS. — 2 Toe} ” . “ Cater ’em Junction.”

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—June 4, 1898. ( fit HH = — THE BOER-HOUND. Joz CH-MB-RL-N (to clever old dog, Kr-a-r). ‘‘ SLIP YOUR MUZZLE, WOULD YOU? WELL, ANYHOW,

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1898.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. A NEW TERROR FOR CELEBRITIES. PORTRAITS BY WIRE. [According to the Daily Mait it is possible to transmit portraits by wire.) \' rw Nya oe - F “ = A = 2 bLBeg Z ee... — ~~. “i ec 4% 4 Y baat iil yn" a 3 ‘+2 if i a —* * ‘ ¢ EXPERIMENTS IN TELAUTOGRAPHY BY A BEGINNER. DARBY JONES REFLECTS ON EPSOM AND MANCHESTER. Honovrep Sirr,—When, on Wednesday last, a coach laden not only with copious Hampers, but also a very Hilarious Party, halted at the Doomed Cock of Sutton, not one of that Jovial Band opined that the return journey would be undertaken, by Myself, at all events, under most depress- ing auspices. Count Groconorr (titular King of Cracow) quaffed the life-inspiri B. and 8. with Captain Kriterion, =a vowed eternal friendship ; Sir WiLLovGHBY Binko (who has assumed a Baronetcy dor- mant for Two Centuries) drank his fa- vourite beverage, champagne and stout commingled, from a silver goblet which had once figured in the Palatial Hall of Evans’s, and shared his morning draught with Brn Front, the cele- brated cueist, while I—— But why pursue the subject ? Briefly, the Universal Toast, Tory in its assimilation, was ‘Derby and Disraeli!” It would be of no interest, Sir, to you or to my other honoured patrons to relate how, imme- diately afterwards, a slight difference of opinion (always allowable among Gentle- men) arose between the Captain and the Baronet as to the Joint Wagers incurred by them in supporting the Favourite for some Young Dear Friends of theirs. Suf- fice it to say that the Count cast oil on the waters of speculation by exclaiming, “Ve vill cot your moogs up between us!” Peace then reigned, and self-compla- cency was established when we took up a commanding position on the Chalk-it-up Hill. Several of my companions pointed out that on the Hill the Sportsman was relieved from those Coarse Importunities to which he might be subjected by Layers of Odds in the Licensed Enclosures round about the Grand Stand. Moreover, the Dreadful Welcher would be avoided. Cap- tain Krirerton, who is a Bit of a Bard (indeed, he backed The Bard in a.p. 1886, and was prevented from settling by Family Grief) was most humane on the subject, and wrote an “Inpompteu ” (as he termed it), on the back of Mr. Doruirino’s Correct Card, to the detriment of the advertise- ments. I took a copy of this Districh, and knowing that you sip at Pierian Springs, I venture to reproduce his not inelegant Quatrain : “Some good in vilest humankind I own. Nor even at the Welcher cast a stone ; For, when with eager eye his place I scan After the race, he is a non-est man!” “Bravo!” cried the Count, who had evidently taken a great fancy to Karre- rion. “Dere certainly spoke ze man of experience that does it.” what moment to detail such com- oarative Trivialities as the victory of Mr. Barnato (every one glad to see the Old Colours over a new skipper), or the Fasci- nation which Mr. Artravr James had for backers in the Stanley Stakes, or the Wandering Minstrels who live on Lobster Claws and Disabled Pineapples, and other Indigestible Refuse of the good and great or the Ladies and Gentlemen of all and {ndescribable Degrees who bring the scent of Monte Carlo over the Surrey Downs. Luncheon-time passed in Sybaritic Fa- shion, save that numerous Females of the Gipsy Persuasion continuously dirtied my nether Sartorial Recuisites by the appli- cation of their thumbs and forefingers to the calf of my right leg, in the hope of Filthy Lucre for Indifferent Soothsaying. Of course, we had the usual Sweepstakes over the Great Event, at Five Pounds per capitem, my juvenile acquaintance, the Hon. Georce Furriatt, late of Oxford College, who providentially appeared on the scene, kindly providing my Quantum Suff.. which otherwise I could not have found, being at a loss for change. The Count held the hat, and Kriterion drew the numbers. The former was lucky enough to secure Disraeli, and the other the Duke of Devonsnire’s representative. { found myself credited with Wuvern, while Fiurriatt obtained Jeron, which, by a singular belief in his starting, had been included in the Lottery. Here I pause to draw breath, as did Countless Thousands when they saw a Dis- reputed Outsider called Jeddah, named, I believe, after a disreputable Port on the Red Sea (it ought to be called Dead Sea), romp home in front of one uf my Strong Tips, the fast-flitting Batt, at the extra- ordinary odds of 100 to 1 against. The success of Mr. Larvacn’s colt was hailed with a low moan by all on our Dismal Drag, save and excepting Krirerion, who, having also drawn “the Field,” which in- cluded the Arabian, quietly slipped the whole of Our Sweep into his capacious pockets. The Count alone gave a cynical smile, while regarding this heartrending operation. For myself, I felt non plus. So, borrowing Fririatr’s ticket, I made tracks for the Paddock, where, if you remember, my chief, I met you in com- pany with a most Cheerful and Affable Companion, Sir Fratszr Punnett, Wagstaff Hall. Salop, whose crest I find in Desrett’s Record of the Nobility to be “on an arm sinister a double strawberry mark erased gules.” This genial gentle- man (he gave me a Rothschild cigar, a oriceless gift considering the war), cheer- ‘ully observed, “ Well, I’m sorry the Duke didn’t quite hit it off with his bat, but he lidn’t score battly after all. Dunlop »ouldn’t stay the course, as he was pro- bably tyred. Regarding the winner, he yught to have been fathered by a centu- ‘ion, not a Janissary, and though there was a Mappen in the saddle, i. are, { expect, a t many more "uns on the cen I could see by his jovial remarks that you and Sir Frasier Punnett had backed “ Jeddah,” and I felt cut to the quick march. Forgive, then, honoured Sir, my quitting your bracing society so “ey wd hut I rushed away to secure a Real Goo Thing in Wi ld’s Pride for the Epsom Cup. Alas, alack, and welladay! And then I plunged on by mgs and then on Sister An and then I think I must have walked home. Anyhow, I didn’t at- tempt to climb the Hill in, and I have since learned that Count Groconorr, Cap- tain Krirerion & Co., disappeared soon after myself, without undergoing the Fa- tigue of a Return Journey by Road, leav- ing Furr.att to settle the, to him, Trifling Account. Having drawn upon you, in the Ame- rican style, at sight, I must temporarily withdraw myself from Public View till the Mancunian Meeting, of which I venture, not with all Hilarity, to chant as follows : A magnificent trophy the Manchester Cup, But not for the Saint Cheese I think, Nor from it will victory Spaniard sup, Nor the Newfoundland take a drink, Though he may puzzle the North to When the Carrion Monarch w done, And the chance of the Antipodean is gone, While the Neophyte’s wz near won. But if Royalty’s grace can all others displace, ’Tis the of Wares—Second to None ! There is the song of the Death-stricken Swan, otherwise known as Your jaded and Jeddahed Adherent, Danrsy Jones. P.S.—My respectful compliments to Sir Fraster Puwwert, and trust that his An- cestral Pride did not prevent his taking my suggestion that Airs and Graces would be of service to him in the Oaks, ae well aware that he may call my rema “Oaks-agen gas.” The Fourth of June as it is. Mrs. Cornelius Klondyke. Yes, it’s a of | great privilege having a boy at Eton. KLonDYKE me always get tickets for Upper Ten School to hear the speechifying. Latest Apvice To France anp ENGLanp my West Arrica.—“ Kissi and be friends!”

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [June 4, 1898. * THE SAILOR AND THE LASS OF RICHMOND HILL! Orn, Lorp Cu-ri-s B-r-s¥-rD TO THE RESCUE. “It is route for w ro 1 to construct a line of electric tramways from Kew to Hampton Court, the proposed is over the famous Richmond Hill and in front of the gates of Richmond Park.” ants — 7 , rx | who will wile away your minutes delight- ( OM E rO OL R PAV ILION. fully, and “é The Bale Troupe ” Soke ad. Love's Labowr Lost, Act II., Se. 1. | vantage of a quiet moment, when there are Let lovers of song enjoy their Dg) neither Dons nor undergraduates, nor, Reszkés, their PLangons, and their chan- | indeed, anyone at all, in the grounds at the sons, but for good hearty enjoyment, give |“ backs of the Colleges” in full view of us Signor Danret; LENO at any time, but | Trinity, Cambridge, to perform their “ Cele- especially just now, when at the London | brated Bicycle Act.” To thoroughly appre- Pavilion, familiarly styled ‘the Pav,” the | ciate the reason why Messrs. Prvaro (No, aforesaid Dan appears as a Beefeater, in| not Prvero, but very near O/) and the Tower of London, explaining its| Zavan call their exhilarating entertain- beauties to the Towerists. That's excellent; | ment T’he Swell and the Tramp the reader so is his Shopman at the stores, where ‘‘eggs | must see it ; and, soon afterwards, by atten- is eggs;” Put yet more excellent is his| tively listening and catching (if he can) masterly analysis of the old song, ‘‘ Where|every word that Mlle. MaroGvErRITE are you going to, my pretty Maid #” and his| CoRNILLE, ‘‘ Za Charmeuse,”’ utters, he admirably high-toned moral reflections on | will enjoy the story of her song as much the conduct of the gentleman—shall we/|as he will have enjoyed her singing. The call him ‘“ gentleman ?”—we thing not, | ‘‘ Musical Avoios,” Xylophone Players, as no gentleman who considers himself a|make a series of hits with their instru- gentleman could possibly stoop (and he | ments; and there are plenty of autres shows must have stooped, as he was on Sanibedk. | at the Pavilion. when speaking to a girl afoot) to address a | young and simple maiden going with ‘ ; , tore 8 to the * bucket-shop ” (apparently, EcotEstasticaL. — There is one Bishop and this is the only excuse for the other- | who, judging by his name, ought to be a wise rude questioner), and ask her ‘“* Where | authority on vestments, and that is “ Dr. she was going,” and to style her, “ My Westcott.” Is the Bishop of Durham a pretty maid.” But was she “his prett Low Westocotr or a High Westoorr? ae” Ne a ail Y | And when his Lordship obtains his well- maid?” Now, on this point—but at this : . Pp obs int we must break off, and leave the | ned holiday, instead of going away to the ifficult question to be solved by Professor | ®t, does he remain at home, and lecture DawrExt LENo, whowill find in this old song | 2 diocesan matters, the reports of which, matter for infinite discussion, and illimitable | W2e2 published, are re gly headed, theories to be dealt with in his own inimi- | “ W#8TooTT-on-See” ! table manner. Every Laughing Philo- Ww. T. Sreap, is published by Grant a ARDs. But even Ricnarps will grant sopher should hear Daw LEno’s y Minima are other attractions—all . that Blastue would have been more appro- priately published by ‘‘ Wurpvs.” InsTzaD.—A new book, Blastus, Miss Marre Witton (surely we’ve that name before? Some few ago, waan't it?) is a ‘‘ Serio-comic and Dancer,” JOURNALISM UP-TO-DATE. “‘ WHOEVER is content with the ideas of esterday,” says Sir Henry Irvine, “ the journalist must be equipped with the ideas of to-morrow.” All aspirants for journal- _ honours pass such an examination as this :— 1. Describe process known as “ intel- ligent anticipation of events.” Anticipate intelligently the following :—British retreat | from Wei-Hai-Wei; Russian occupation of | Hong Kong; graceful concession of Gib- raltar; polite withdrawal from the Cape. 2. Write full account of forthcoming en- gagement between American and Spanish Fleets, giving (a) list of killed and wounded, and (b) personal narratives of survivors. 3. Explain the terms reported, rumoured, unconfirmed, contradicted. Illustrate their use in halfpenny journalism. 4. Review the Poet Laureate’s next | volume for (a) The Standard, (6) The Star, (c) Our Booking-Office. 5. Write a leading article which shall be equally appropriate to any of the following events :—Bombardment of New York, Fall of Madrid, Destruction of the Spanish squadron, Annihilation of the U.S. #leet, Capture of Khartoum, British reverse in Egypt, Discovery of the North Pole. Show that whatever has happened is in strict accordance with the course prophesied in your issue of yesterday’s date. 6. State exact terms of non-existent treaty between Great Britain and United States. Give précis of settlement of Sierra Leone question. CRH THE STORMY PETREL. South African variety. At present on the ‘Atlanti (Dr. Leyps left to-day to take up his duties in Europe as political representative of the Transvaal. — Pretoria, M:

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| | | in the briefer Birthday List. June 4, 1898.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. Soosan Jane. ‘‘ WELL, HOW IN THE WORLD OUR MIsSUS CAN BE 80 FOND 0’ RIDING ON ‘'OnsEBACK, I DON’ KNOW A TASTE TO BE ACQUIRED. (A Whitsuntide Sketch.) ” ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FkOM THE Diary or Topsy, M.P. House of Commons, Monday, May 23.— At a quarter past six, the Right Hon. J. W. Lowrner took the Chair on re- sumption of Committee on Irish Local Government Bill. Particular about men- | tioning him in full style, as this is earliest opportunity. Naturally expected to find his name in list of Jubilee honours. Per- haps is more distinguished out of the crowd However it be, Privy Councillorship is well deserved. From the first, J. W. took to the Chair ot Ways and Means as a duck takes to water. Cannot recall an instance where he has blundered. As the ever-regretted Mr. PuELPs, sometime American Minister at this Court, once said, a man who never makes a mistake will never make any- thing. Still, in either Chair of House of Commons, even monotonous freedom from error is regarded in a favourable aspect. True, J. W. has lived through Elysian days compared with the lot of his pre- decessor. That kindly, courtly gentleman never had justice done to him. He came fresh to Chair at an epoch ex ing in bitterness any that has marked the Com- mons since early Corn Law days. More- over, an able and influential circle of the Opposition made a dead set against him. Wanting to wreck the Home Rule Bill, they perceived a vulnerable point of attack in the Chairman. If they could worry him, and get things in a muddle, the chances “ As a duck takes to water.”’ The Right Hon, J. W. L-wth-r. of Bill passing were appreciably lessened. So they deliberately and systematically “went tor” the Chairman, J. W. lives in happier times. At best, ition of Chairman of Ways and Means is a difficult one to sustain with general approval, That approval the present in- cumbent early won, and holds with in- creasing firmness of grip. Nothing more touching than the grati- fication of his kinsman, Lord of the Isle of Thanet, at the official recognition of the Chairman’s success. “We LowTHERS are getting on,” Jemmy said, smiling be- nigniy at the Chair. “‘There is not one Right Hon. Lowruer, but two Right Hon. LowTHERSs.” Business done.—Ramming Local Govern- ment Bill through Committee, so as to wind up for holidays to-morrow. If time inadequate, so much the worse for the Bill. Wednesday, 12.25 a.m.—Just adjourned for Whitsun holidays. Been sitting since noon yesterday ; for the most part dolefully dull; hour after hour in Committee on Irish Bill. MHalf-an-hour before midnight Bill through Committee Stage. A grateful cheer from tired legislators. Go home now ; off for well-earned holidays. Not atall. Sacer or Queen Anne’s Gate jealous for interests of his beloved fri oN Jose, is certain CoLoNIAL SeoreTary would like opportunity of referring to his famous Birmingham speech. Stirred up hornets’ nest all over Continent; brought upon Don Josr’s meek head avalanche of

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264 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARLI. [June 4, 1898,

gy o T9920 p —. _—__ my

A STUDY IN EXPRESSION. |

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—Joune 4, 1898. *No Voice however feeble lifted up for Truth, Ever Dies,.’— Whittier. HUMAN NOBLENESS ore 4G CROWN OF THORNS. 1 cuts, O world! O men! what are ye, and our best designs, That we must work by crime to punish crime, And slay as if death had but this one gate ?— Byron, ‘In Life’s Play the Player of the Other Side is hidden from us. We know that his play is always Fair, Just, and Patien but we also know to Our Cost that he never Overiooks a Mistake. Jt’s for you to jind wut WHY YOUR £ «aAhE BUXED,’—Hualey. DESTINY, or to Live for this Day ONLY. THE COST OF WAR.—'GIVE ME THE MONEY that has been SPENT in WAR and I will PURCHASE SVERY FOOT of LAND upon the GLOBE ; I WILL CLOTHE every MAN, WOMAN, and CHILD in an attire of which KINGS and QUEENS would be proud; | WILL BUILD a SCHOOL-HOUSE on EVERY HILL-SIDE and in every valley over ‘the whole earth ; | WILL BUILD an ACADEMY in EVERY TOWN, and endow it, a college in every state, and will fill it with able professors; I WILL CROWN every hill with a PLACE OF WORSHIP consecrated to the promulgation of the GOSPEL OF PEAC E; I will support in every pulpit an able teacher of righteousness, so that on every Sabbath morning the chime on one hill should answer the chime oy another round the earth's wide circumference, and the VOICE OF PRAYER and the SONG OF PRAISE should ascend likea UNIVERSAL HOLOCAUST to HEAVEN,'’—Richard, Why All this Toil and Strife? There is Room enough for All! WHAT IS TEN THOUSAND TIMES MORE TERRIBLE THAN REVOLUTION OR WARP ‘I WILL TELL YOU WHAT IS TEN TIMES and TEN THOUSAND TIMES MORE TERRIBLE THAN WAR—-OUTRAGED NATURE!! SHE KILLS AND KILLS, and is NEVER TIRED OF KILLING TILL SHE HAS TAUGHT MAN THE TERRIBLE LESSON HE IS SO SLOW '0O LEARN, THAT NATURE IS ONLY CONQUERED BY OBEYING HER. . Man has his courtesies of war—he spares the woman and the child ; but Nature is fierce when she is offended, as she is bounteous end kind when she is obeyed. She spares neither woman nor child, She has no pity ; for some | awful but most good reason, she is not allowed to havé any pity. Silently she strikes the sleeping child, with as little remorse as she would strike the strong man, with the musket or the pickaxe in his hand. Ah! would to God that some man had the pictorial eloquence to put before the mothers of England the | mass of PREVENTIBLE SUFFERING—the mass of PREVENTIBLE AGONY of MIND and BODY—which exists in England year after year,’—Aingaley. CONQUEST!! EMPIRE!!! 1HE GRFATEST CF ALL FARTHLY POSSESSIONS. | ‘HEALTH is the GREATEST of all POSSESSIONS ; and ‘tis a maxim with me that a LALE COBBLER is a BETTER MAN than a SICK KING.'—Bickerstaf, t | For Health and Longevity, USE ENO’S ‘FRUIT SALT,’ ‘ THE PHYSICAL BASIS OF THIS LIFE’—GOOP) FOOD! HOW to ASSIMILATE or ENJOY GOOD FOOD, that would othrwise cause BILIOUS HEADACHE, DISORDERED STOMACH, &c., &, use ENO’S ‘FRUIT SALT.’ Being a genuine product of Nature, it is a true or natural way of preserving and restoring health. It removes effete matter or poison from the blood by NATURAL MEANS, thus preventing and throwing off fevers, boils, and other morbid conditions of the blood. On that account YOU CANNOT OV ERSTATE its GREAT VALUE in KEEPING the BLOOD PURE and FREE from DISEASE. Without such a SIMPLE PRECAUTION the JBOPARDY OF LIFE is IMMENSELY INCREASED, | ONLY TRUTH CAN CIVE TRUE REPUTATION—ONLY REALITY CAN BE OF REAL PROFIT- THE SECRET OF SUCCESS—STERLINC KOKESTY OF PURPOSE—WITHOUT IT LIFE IS A SHAM. The value of ENO’S ‘FRUIT SALT’ cannot be told. Its success in Europe, Asia, Africa, America, and Australia proves it. Is efect upon any DISORDERED, SLEEPLESS, and FEVERISH condition is {IMPLY MARVELLOUS. It is, in fact, NATURE'S (WN REMEDY, and an UNSURPASSED ONE. CAUTION.— Examine each Bottle and see the Capsule is marked ENU’S * FRUIT SALT.’ Without it you have been imposed upon by WORTHLESS Imitations. PREPARED ONLY BY J. C. ENO, Ltd., ‘FRUIT SALT’ WORKS, LONDON, 8.E., BY J. C. ENO’S PATENT. LIQUEURS OF THE | “a GPE. CHARTREUSE. t ELEVEN R These delicious | -| urs, which YEARS have come so much into public ) favour on account of their won- - . OoLr. deriul properties of aiding Diges- + tion and preventing Dyspepsia, , This Grand & can now be had of all the princi - ¢ Old W tisk: yY pal Wine and Spirit Merchants, . XY and all good Hotels and Restau . throughout the Kingdom. Sole Consignee, 7 DOYLE, 35, Crutched Friars, London, F.C 26s. the Gall., 50s. the Dozen. Cash only | | Semple Settle pest Sep. cn receipt of P.O. for 4s. 8d. _RICHD. MATHEWS & CO. % and 2%, HART 8T.,, BLOOMSBURY, WC. Sold by ali Leavinoe Mene Hants throughout Invis and the Cotonixs. y JOSEPH GILLOTT Sc “BUCHANAN Highest Quality; and oe wine, Crstent Durability, are therefore Nos. with exquisitely Fine CHEAP ee ARC ARCHITECTS, ENGINEERS, and DRAUGHTSMEN — 170, (179, 291. 303, 431, 659. 1000. “Ynnnonnanunnnonacadeacinnnnnnnmnnnntn in a BLEND ates smite TE COAL. === TAR u x sy xin SCOTCH WHISKY a xe. ) 0 MOST DELICIOUS NUTRITIOUS AND REQUIRING MO DIGESTIVE EFFORT SAVORY & MOORE tonpon .'*,21%.2/6,| Ni o 00) x Sp A AS SUPPLIED TO THE * RNY \ axe yi = SOAP A a\Van/atava/adavavavaava mua aac nvaa aA ONY OOO. OV AVAVAY AG) 0000) ASS AG 9) Xi,

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—June 4, 1898. s NICOLL. . TAILOR T0 THE ROYAL FAMILY. 114 to 120, RECENT STREET, ano 22, CORNHILL, LONDON. PARIS: 29 and 31, RUE TRONCHET 10, MOSLEY STREET, MANCHESTER 39. NEW STREET. = 9 50, BOLD STREET, LIVERPOOL. THE LARCEST AND MOST RECHERCHE SELECTION OF MATERIALS IN LONDON. ° GENTLEMEN LADIES. The latest Spring Suitings, Overcoat- Perfect Fitting Tailor-made Gowns ings, and Trouserings are now on view. and Riding Habits. ercoats of mae size and description Nicoll’s Sycling Skirt, £2 12s. 6d., always in stock, including the new Rain- is the neatest and most simple in use. proof Sporting Coat from £2 2s. Ladies’ Shirts, to measure, from 7s. 6d. High-class Boys’ Clothing at mod moderate prices, HO RD MACNIVEN & CAMEROONS OE LLULARIMN “They come as a boon, and a blessing to men, BEDFORD The Pickwick, the Owl, and the Waverley Pen.” Ploughs, Harrows, Cultivators, Haymakers, Horse es, Straw ~~ E Trussers, Mowers, 3 to Oil Engines, & Light ilways 100 words with one dip. 6d. and Is. per box at all Stationers. Sample Box of all the kinds ls. Id. b t SOMETHING NEW—SCOLI CLUE. Waverley Works, EDINBURGH. See Frice List for Nam ames. | THOMAS TURNER @ 00. Make Their Own Steel. oi? , BAGGY ae BIRMINGHAM HEALTHIBST sawp BEST ror EVENING WEAR. Illustrated Price List of full range of Cellular Goods for Men, Women, and Children, sent post free on application. OL ‘ ER BROTHERS, Ltd., 33, New Bond St., | OLIVER BROTHERS, Ltd., 417, Oxford Street, Wy. | ROBERT SCOTT, Ltd., 4 ‘and’ 15, Poultry, B.C And Agents in al) Towns in the United Kingdom. DRESS SHIRTS. | Ny Porety Veorraste. duce from two to five unds per week ; acts on the food in stomach, pm by Ci hemists. Send stamp for pamphlet. BOTANIC MEDICINE CO. 13, NEW OXFORDSr. »W.C. FACRERRR «°° CUARANTEED | ey whereby the tension is ob tained by means of a Screwed Rod 2. arate Sere hers are | recommended for each pair of Trousers in| Use. | Hand Porged Extra Hollow Ground. Carefully Set Guaranteed Perfect. See “ Encore” on Shank | Ivory, és. ; Black, 46. Send for Free List of Cases rom all Dealers, or write direet to Makers, Sold every where, or sent on receiptof P.O. Bronze, T. TURNER & CO., SUFFOLK WORKS, SHEFFIELD. ’ lished, Army quality, nickel, 96 (in Gt Britain Ask Jor" Bs supply through nearest agent } = only) ; for colonies and abroad, add ¥ _ rate | Ask for“ Encore” Pocket and Table Cutlery for 4 Ibs., to P. Dept., 6, Philip .OLDGOLD BOOT A is Always Ready for ue. Is Inva ble in All Houses. Free from A id ne ad Injurious Ingredients. Will Repair Nearly Everything AS STRONG AS ORDINARY CAKE CLUE. For Wood, Leather, Paper, Cloth, Glass and China Ornaments, Earthenware eek ay ac rs, Ullmen, Lronmongers, Stationers, aray Dealers, Stores, & If unable t sin “ SOCOLI end sta nenee 6 ~ sample, 13 for 1 1od. f 64. tots to ~ mp I Dept. Aé idl, Weat Ge Glasgow Test samples on Re of ia ph, +pee SIMPLIFIED PHOTOGRAPHY New West-Ead Branch : (71-173 REGENT ST., LONDON, W. KODAK Cameras for Cyclists, Ladies, Tourists, Sportsmen, Yachts- men, and all Holiday [akers. D Per Box of 10. A Cigarette of Standard Excellence At Small Cost. MANUFACTURED FROM PURE VIRGINIA SUN-DRIED TOBACCO. ~: NO DARK ROOM NEEDED. DAYLIGHT LOADING. EASTMAN matertaisco..uta., 43 Clerkenwell Rd., LONDON, B.C. Retail Branches: 115-117 Oxford Street, and 6o Cheapside, E.C. There is no KODAK but the BASTMAN Kodak. Prtated by Wii Coe of Lombard Street, im the tot ' ge aring, RANSOMES’ MAW NEW PATTERNS, RECENT IMPORTANT IMPROVEMENTS. LAWN MOWERS _THE BEST ww tHe WORLD. *? ATENT’ AUTOMATON - chain or wheel- * ANGLO - PARIS,” “LION,” and ‘HORSE AND PONY” MOWERS in al sires All Machines sent on a Month's Free Trial and Carriage Paid. Sold by all joommenger ANSOMES, SIMS £ JEFFERIES, LA. ,!pewich. THE MOST NUTRITIOUS, EPPS'S CRATEFUL— COMFORTING COCOA BREAKFAST—SUPPER. Deed, Beterer, poy Dekel Ob ery bee Peter Caer etre eee reir CIGARES,.JOY (Joy's Cigarettes) immediately Relieve “ASTHMA, WHEEZING, CHRONIC BRONCHITIS au Chemists, box of 35, 2/6,or Post Free WILCOX, 83, Mortimer St., London, W. TRIAL SAMPLE FREE. Co, Limited, BSATURDAY. PUBLISHED EVERY