Punch 1897-02-06: Vol 112 Iss 2900

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OE — —— MR. GO. A. HENTY'S NEW NOVEL, ’ [HE QUEEN'S CUP, is now penty, n 3 Vols., at every circulating tl! A healthy and vigorous story of adventure, full of fight and cralsing, with a good dash of love- making the wn in, is a gift which one car » always reckon m Mr.G A. Heuty. ‘Th Queew's Cup thor yughiy fulfils the de scription.” —scoTremar. WILLIAM WRHSTALI’/S NEW NOVEL, With THE RED EAGLE: ance of the Tyrol, is now == a Book« rs Crown ®vo, cloth gilt, 6 seidom comes upon a more successful or eat sta t "y ong in the department of historical romance BcoTema™ MKS. KB. M. € KOKER * NEW y NOVEL, Po THE PALE: An Irish pance, is now ready at all Bookscllers Crown *v buckram, 6s Mus. HUNGERFPORIYS NEW VOLUME PF STORIES, A*... ANXIOUS MOMENT, is » ta at all Hookeellers. Crown 6vo, THE. NARRATIVE OF CAP- TAIN ey aa) Ochther of the — poo Edited fro rriginal M8. by Ls ner ¥ ith joo ‘iustrations, crown avo, “aloth, ie #4 * Although merely the literal record of a veteran soldier s experiences, the book is as fascinating asa romanee.“—Daicy Mais Ms. TREGASKISS : 4 Novel of lo Australian Life. By Mre. Caureenc W ith eight Illustrations by Roscar 8.cese A ‘New ' dition CHAT THE STANDARD LIFE ASSURANCE CO. ( Head Office: EDINBURGH. Accumulated Fund, 8 Millions Stg. NEW REDUCED RATES. WITHOUT PROFITS. Branches in India and the Colonies. EPPSS CRATEFUL—COMFORTING GOCOA) PACKHAM’S TABLE WATERS| ARE MADE WITH DISTILLED WATER. Manufactory, Croydon Crown 6vo, cloth, 3s. 6d a WINDUS, V6, 111, Ot. Mart at Martin's Lane, W.C. we Ce) (ere each | Plate Powder NON-MERCUKIAL Universally admitted to be the Best and Safest Silver lor Plate, @c. SIX GULD MEDALS Bold every where, in Boxes, Is., 2s » and 4s. 6d P CHATTO & WINDUS’S NEW BOOKS. | UNCH, OR THE ee 1s. Bottle for six to ten Baths. MAPPIN & WEBB’S SPOONS & FORKS come as & boon and a blessing to men, Th url ckwick, the Owl, and the Waverley Pen.” THE FLYING J PEN. 64. and is Box at all Stationers. Sample Hox ls. id. by post Waverley Works, EDINBURGH. Hair use Cuticura Soap The most effective skin purifying and beautifying soap in the world, as well as purest and sweetest for toilet and nursery. For distressing eruptions, pim- ples, blackheads, scalp irritations, dry, thin,and falling hair,red, rough hands, chafings, simple rashes, and blemishes of childhood, it is absolutely incompar- able. Mothers and nurses pronounce it the only perfect baby soap. Sold throughout the world. Price ie. F. New- pert & Sows, 1 King Edward St,, London, E.C. _ All about Baby's Skin and Scalp,” free. and Jewellery. Of all Grocers, Chemists, Etc. SCRUBB & CO., 32b Southwark Street, 8.E. MANUFACTURERS OF SCRUBB’S ANTISEPTIC SKIN SOAP bbe SILVER PLATE. The Finest Stock in the World. ILLUSTRATED CATALOGUE FREE GOLDSMITHS’ COMPANY, Show Rooms: |], RECENT ST., W. (Apsommitxe Srearoscoric Courant.) SAMUEL BROTHERS, MACNIVEN & CAMERON'S PENS 06 & 67, LUSCATE WA, LONBOH, £6. Aye NICO Ero: Jacket and Vest for boy ‘of 13 years, 20s. 9d. Trousers for boy of 13 years, 9s. 3d. ILLUSTRATED CATALOGUE and PATTERNS freeon cade adteanty eel WORTH et Cie, Under Royal Patronage) SPECIALITY IN * ae rate department for Ne is | for Xe eed class Corset. ONLY ADDRESS: 134, NEW BOND ST., W Noconnection with Worth of Paris. CUARANTEED PERFECTLY HOLLOW CROUND. Ivory, inuvmas Turner & Co. make their own steel. G/- send for Free List of Cases. 4/- From al! Dealers, or write direct to Makers T. TURNER & CO., 5% SHEFFIELD, Who will supply through nearest Agent. Ask for “ Eacore”’ Pocket and Table Cutlery. -ROSBACH THE BEST TABLE WATER IN THE WORLD. LONDON CHARIVARI. —Fesrvary 6, 1897. TRY IT IN YOUR BATH. SCRUBB’S socssius AMMONIA —_ evs PREPARATIO asa Turkish —" Splendid Cl f 4. omen fe he plen eansi: tion for t e Hair. Removes Stains and Grease Spots from Clothing, Etc. pores mee Colour to Carpets. | sea Black, | Cruise to Na Sicily, Tunis, Algiers Gibraltar for Seville, Malaga for Granada, Lisbon and Tilbury on 8.Y. ** Midnight Sun,” leaving April 6th. Lecturer, sir Laeger | a a Cruise from rr. | Fobcnary ith Graiee to eee | FASTER IN ‘SEVILLE. — | » Palestine full. Details from Mr. htamy x Peron | 5, Endsleigh Gardens, London | QMENT _COMPANY'S YACHTING. Ro temetips GARONNE, iy | tons regi> CRUISE 8 LUSITANIA, 3,877 from London a» under :— For MOROCCO, SICILY, PALESTINE, —s February |7, returning April 15. AIN, tons register, | and norm, | of GREECE, CONSTANT, wee &c., leaving March 31, returning May .7 } For PORTUGAL. AL. MOROCCO CORSICA, ITALY, ang SICILY, leaving April 21, returning may w String band, electric light, hot and cvld A high-class cuisine. Managers: F. Green ~ Anderson & Uo. HOTEL ] METROPOLE, BRIGHTON. “ The finest and most luxurions Seaside Hotel in the World.” Charges moderate. Proprietors: THE CORDON HOTELS, LTD. ORIENTAL CARPETS Sold at Wholesale Prices TRELOAR & SONS, LUDGATE HILL. Ask for Price List. THE CELEBRATED is a revelation to those who have habitually used the big, clumsy Razor of the od. The ease wi which It is manipulated ena es the user to shave in half the usual time. The blade is manufactured of the finest and can be either plain or hollow Prices—B winch k Handle. al ae 34; Pair in Con ack), 7/6; tree “MAB” ¥ vi Newnal Serest BIRMINGHAM City Agent—Mr.A.Haarmann 42c,Old Broad St .b ( Pdinburgh: University Shaving Saloon, Chamber St Liverpool: R. Ket L¥, @ and 32, Renshaw Street HOOPING G COUGH, TION. ye without interna ta, W. Eowanrns & Price Ss mae oe dela a | — ROWLAN DS MACASSAR OIL Preserves. Beautifies, the Hair; also in Golden Colour, 3s. 64., Ts., 10s. 64 ROWLANDS’ ODONTO The

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| i, oa if Fesruary 6, 1897.} PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 61 —_—_—_—_——eoe—e——aeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEE=>=—E=E=E=E=EaES5—™=E————— ——_——_——- “a A Vet sr a Ag 7 Veen LETTING OFF STEAM. Nephew. ‘’ULLo, Uncle, How 's THE Gout?” Uncle. ‘‘How ’s THe Gout! conrounpd You! INFEKNAL THING ROUND your Neck?” Nephew. ‘‘ En—tr—onLY MY COLLAR, Str, I BELIEVE.” Uncle. “‘Ban! Y'LooK LIKE A DONKEY LOOKING OVER A WHITE- WASHED WALL!” WHAT ’s THAT JEALOUSY ON THE WING. Dear Mr. Puncn,—I have read with much interest in the papers that Lord Max.cotm of Poltalloch has introduced the starling on to his estates in Jamaica in order to repair the ravages of the mongoose. But what has the latter ravaged? Surely not the great Argyll chieftain? I would back him against all the mongeese, aye! and all the mongoslings, too, in the world. I know the mongoose well, and so, possibly, do you. He is a being unfitted to be trusted alone, especially in Jamaica, where rum is grown so freely. Evidently, however, he has misconducted himself, or Lord Matcotm would not have sent for the starling. But why the star- ling? I never heard before that he was good at repairs. The tailor-bird I could understand, but not such a Pecksniffian biped as the starling. If Lord Ma ooum has been ravaged could surely have applied to a neighbouring beak or to Yours truly, Septimus Sparrow. Of a Gallant Marksman. [Sir Howarnp Vincent, M.P., last week failed to induce the House of Commons to pass a measure amending his own Merchandise Marks Act. ] Sm Howarp’s game it ’s easy quite to see,— Though to the House it’s just the best of larks. If Man of Mark Sir Howarp cannot be, At least he’d like to be a Man of Marks. At Bournemouth. Irate Ratepayer (to Municipal Councillor). What’s the good of a Winter n here, Sir Municipal Councillor. Only b way of contrast. To show that we have no winter. Exit Irate Ratepayer, puzzled A SONG OF DETECTION. (Adapted to the latest Literary Methods.) I’ the latter-day prince of detectives, a sort of lieutenant to Fate ; I can track out a crime or detect a feu pas, or unravel a plot while you wait. If a father gets lost, or a wife disappears, if the heir to a will is mislaid I produce him at once, and dispatch him by rail with the carriage correctly prepaid. No amount of disguise Is too great for my eyes ; My_mind never falters or dozes, Though they add to their chests By inflating their vests, Or construct a new bridge to their noses. But I’m always precisely at with a clue, And my price is—but there, I can leave it to you. If a statesman with orchid and eye-glass goes out for his five- oO’ tea, He may think himself wrapped in an ample disguise, but he can’t get the better of me. I am off on his heels in a moment, and into my note-book he goes As a fighter of grit who is like Mr. Prrr, though he hasn't the gout in his toes. Down he goes in my notes With his talent for votes, And his style which is dapper and dressy, With a hint at the fall That he got from Oom Paut, And the faithful devotion of Jzssr. And his name, which is somehow connected with screw, Is—you know it, of course, so I'll leave it to you. Last week I detected a coster, at least he was ri up as such, With a can-full of naptha to light up his cart and someone to act as his Dutch: His goods were the whelk that you devour when he’s dead, And a cap fashioned whole from the skin of a mole adorned and protected his head. But I knew him at once, Since I wasn’t a dunce; In rhymes he was really a trader ; For he dropped on the road Half a sonnet, an ode, And a ballad addressed to a raider. With some cantos of blank that I failed to read through If you ’re anxious to guess him begin with A.U. When the criminal class is quiescent, the blue-coated constable ou swallow alive and the shrimp comes To his beat with his helmet and truncheon, and there he just twiddles his thumbs. Oh, it’s then that, to tickle the popular taste, and that without thinking of pelt, In a fraction of time I invent a new crime, and commit and detect it myself. For a plot of my own I can follow alone, Whether others adopt or eschew it ; And it adds to Ps mes fun, If you want a thing done, To go out by yourself and to do it. Of the sleuth-hounds of crime I have met one or two, But the name of the best—well, I leave it to you. Our Latast Corony (ry Torrennam Court Roap).—In the us of a New Parisian Hotel, Sir Joun Buowpers, Marie, Mf. -» V.G.F. (or Very Good Fellow), is described as “ Governor of Martz and Company, Limited.” Henceforth we shall furnish on the higher social system. Seasonaste Cuancs or Name (by our own irrepressible one, still ing).—Our metalled roads during the frost have been called ( NaNnsEn’s ice-ship) Fram-ways. Parvitecep Proversiat Perverters or Tas Trutu.—Sleep- VOL. CXII,

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Fesruary 6, 1897.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. ae 63 i NG ee \ ‘ i a t: thi Wl) at Wh . Ya” . : ks la. d I, i] i] ue i a: yy 0 a ANY Pal 'V Whe ily, bk y Mb On W/),' 0" 1G Hy | hye), Wt Vy Wins ~ ‘ { Py) SUMMING UP THEIR MERITS. uit (Ad Cyclist (arguing with Friend on the way home from hunting). ‘‘ WELu, ANYHOW, OLD CHAP, MINE CAN GO WHEN IT'S PUMPED OUT, AND THAT 'S A LOT MORE THAN YOU OAN SAY FOR yours! Ta-Ta!” SPORTIVE SONGS. A Playgoer visits Ibsen and meets with an old acquaintance, Last night I went to see a play, A drama up-to-date, Wherein a woman holds the sway With love and rage and hate : A kind of nightmare on the boards That I thought very coarse ; French wit played not on laughing chords— "Twas taken from the Norse. I do not like these dreadful homes Of dirty-linen dreams, Where Commonplace is writ in tomes And ranted out in reams! Where Nature ’s painted as a brute And Mankind as a sot, Where Common Decency is mute, Because they know her not ! Give me the fables of my youth, When Virtue reigned supreme ! The striving after what is truth, And not a filthy dream! The vi maiden sore distressed I’d er gaze on far, Than look upon, with mind oppressed, This harmony in tar! Long, lon, ——ah me, how long !— A iittle be I knew, She sang a little plaintive song, to very few. "Twas all about the buds in Spring And bells that sweetly chime ; E’en now I hear that ditty’s ring, The while my heart beats time ! A tenth-rate playhouse was the scene, Where sang this little maid Of how she welcomed back the green In Spring, but half afraid Of what the Summer sun might bring, Or Autumn’s ruddy glow, She yet would sing the Song of Spring | E’en ’mid the Winter snow! I loved—the moral of that song! I loved—its trite refrain ! I loved—the symphonies all wrong ! I loved—the simple strain ! I loved—the singer's untrained voice ! I loved—her shake untrue ! I loved—the darling of my choice ! I loved—the quai t knew ! And through the blatant farce last night That song I seemed to hear, E’en when the heroine’s weird flight Made ardent pittites cheer. E’en when she went at last to rest, Dishonoured and undone, My heart kept time within my breast, For she and you are One ! At the Fox-earths. Mr. Charley Pug (to Mrs. Charley Pug, on the fifth day of the frost), Don’t you think, my dear, we might go and look at the skating on Brittlesea Mere? It would be better doing nothing ! | Supurpanw Sense.—Mr. Grant ALLEN says that “Clapham is never dumb.” But, lying on an elevated plain, it is, alas! deaf | to the voice of the hill-top charmer. Is it | this fact which annoys the man who didn’t ? ADAM AND AN APPLE. In the charming performance of As You Like It, at the St. James’s Theatre, the banished Duke and his followers appear to live on a diet of raw apples. It is doubt- less as good as the Grape Cure, the Whey Cure, or any other cure. But when Adam, a man of eighty, nearly dead from ex- haustion, is revived with a large, cold, raw apple, our admiration for the Apple Cure is vastly increased. And when this aged and almost dying man, instead of having a fit or falling dead, walks and talks gaily, our admiration for the Apple Cure is un- bounded, The only improvement we can suggest is that Adam should sing the fol- lowing song in place of the one written for Amiens :— Blow, blow, thou winter wind, Hang me if I shall mind, I’ve tried the Apple Cure ; And after eatin I care not if it . All cold I can endure. Heigh-ho } cing, Bees’ ~ green apple, With which m —— ion can gleefully grapple. Then hoig -ho the apple “te Warm as graveyard chapel ! Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky, Thou dost not bite so nigh As does the Apple Cure I'd eat a lump of ice, It —" quite = nice, not ape as \e Heigh-ho ee teh be ae apple, To keep us all out of the grim graveyard chapel. With, heigh-ho, the apple I even can grapple. Description or Mr. Ruopes BY A Litrte ENGLANDER. — An amalgamation of high-ways and by-ways.

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LONDON CHARIVARI. |Fepruary 6, 1897. OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. in the Wind (Exu107 | | An Assistant | Stock) Mr. A. C. Deane has gathered together some very charm- writes :—“In Leaves ing and very clever pieces of verse that have ap in various periodicals. Light verse is easy and delightful to read just in | proportion as it has cost its producer thought and labour. The | apparently inevitable words, the happy turns of a sentence, the | unforced patness of the rhymes—how simple the whole thing | looks when done, how hard it is to do. Now, Mr. Dsanr’s technical skill is very great, and his verses ring musically and yleasantly without a single jar or discord. And here and there he strikes a deeper note, but he never forces it unduly. He is to be heartily congratulated on his latest little volume.” Tue Baron Hyndman the Hinderer. Wuo says that British rule is India’s curse Must be indeed a bigoted and blind man. Saying it at this crisis makes it worse. Let each man close his mouth, open his purse And “ dickens take the hindmost ”—or the Hyndman! Tae Ware ror tue Buitt.—We understand that in conse- quence of recent developments, the name of Boscombe is to be changed to that of Belugachine. Maps ty Germwany.—Much of our “ British Patriotism ” of the pinchbeck, or German-silver, sort, apparently. write! London! | searches, one regards | Allons done, let us go then! AUGUSTE EN ANGLETERRE. LONDON. quel en-téte, what in head I come of to I have ventured to make you part of my impressions of some towns of province, but until here I have not spoken of London. It is not a town, it is a department, a country, of houses! But in fine, in propaees my guide, je doi aborder, I ought to board this great subject. I go to do it by de temps en Lee of time in time, and 1 commence at present by some parts the City, the most great arrondissement of —_— and the veritable centre of the world. As me the most part of the voyagers from the “Westend” by the street which calls herself the Strand. As me they think probably to the great town and to her history of thousand years. They come to see the magnifi- cent centre of commerce, the most great and the most rich town of the world, the proud capital of the britannic Empire, the Rome of the nineteenth century. When they are thus im- ressio of respect and of admiration, what is this then the t monument which they meet? Is it a statue as that of Bartotommgo CoLLgon1, which one sole Italian town erected four hundred years before the ager of the universal suffrage, of the national education and of official schools of the beautiful arts? Is it a statue worthy of the britannic Empire, thousand times more rich than the ancient Republic of Venise ? At the entry of the City, in face the Palace of Justice, one one leans the head in outside of the What is this that this is that that? Ca/ Oh, la, la! But, say then, a monument to make to die of to laugh! Planted there, absolutely at Dear Mister,—Ah, commerce of the in the City in going “handsome cab.” | the middle of the street, a monument of the most ridicules, of the most divertings! In regarding this droll of dragon, who would can to think of the dignity of London? The most serious of the greek phil hers, who knew themselves without doubt in sculpture, of which they were surrounded of so beautiful pieces would have burst of to laugh. The most silent of the Red Skins, ar Boy me —_s a disinea ant pamntety Pony —- ture, wo gorge at throat 0. . 6 English soles are enough serious and enough solemn for to pass this monument without to show the least little smile. _ As to me, each time that I see him I laugh in. The first time I believed him an announce, a réclame, of some “ panto- mime.” But no! It is an announce of the beautiful arts of London, of the good taste of the municipality. It is the unique pleasantery of the solemn Londonians. At some steps from this monument, Mister Punch, finds himself your rédaction, your office of redactor in chief. May I to say that he is never come from there any pleasantery so enormously droll as this pleasantery in bronze ? e Londonians are calm and serious, Sut at the foundation they must to be one can not more laughers. One would have beautiful—on aurait beau—to search at is, town so gay, a statue as that! nd of more. A statue of your great and good Queen should to be placed on a pedestal as he must, comme il faut. But on the hideous base beneath this dragon of pantomime, in = tion absolutely indignant, and splashed of the filthy mud of London, find the ves two miserable statues which represent, one has told me, the Queen and the Prince of Wares. See there the res uous hom of the City of London! However, Mister Punch, 1 wish not only to blame, I venture also to suggest. This year here the English celebrate the long and glorious reign of Her Majesty. All the world desires to erect some monuments worthy of a sovereign so illustrious and so venerated. The municipality of London could do better than that, in destroying rather than in erecting. It would be the best evidence of their res towards the Queen that of to make to disappear this frightful monument and the two statues. As to the dragon, voild a beautiful gift for your friend L1 Hone Cuane. Only, as he is aged, and as he la never, the view of a dragon so infinitely more hideous than the most frightful —— China would could to kill him of horror. He would value , perhaps, to sell this cauchemar en bronze to the Theatre of Drurylane. Agree, &c., AUGUSTE. Two Ways of Looking at it. “T ~ever,” said the agrarian professor, “ look upon a.corn- field without thinking of the boundless beneficence of nature in the bread question.” ‘ “Nor I,” chimed in the MacTavisn, “on an acre o’ barley but that I joost contemplate the workings 0’ Providence in the matter of whuskey.”

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Fesruary 6, 1897.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL 65 AMERICA DAY BY DAY. VERY INTERESTING TO LONDONERS.) (By Our Special Flinewr.) New York, Jan 26.—There was a snowstorm here last night, which effect concealed the up and down paving of Broadway, but was highly appreci by some of the younger members of the Upper Four Hundred, who indulged in a game of snow-balls just as the visitors were leaving the Metropolitan Opera House. The weather did not, however, interfere with the Spoof-Hop given by Mrs. General Spruins (wife of the Hon. General Spriins, the great rag and bone contractor), and the gathering was quite one of the successes of the season. Each guest on arriving was Drag ony: with a diamond toothpick, which came in very handy r the supper of truffied oysters, stuffed terrapin, and canvas-back ducks on toast, the whole being washed down with ’84 champagne in Jereboams only. Among the principal belles present were Miss Cainkiz CocKLEsNAPPER (a member of one of the old Knickerbocker families), a delicate blonde with gold hair and teeth; Miss Woorsm Wampvun, the very brunette daughter of Commodore Wampun, President of the Brighton Beach Yacht Club; Miss Hisgania Maccruppery, second daughter of ex-Ju cGRUDDERY, Proprietor of the Krin-go-bragh blend of whi ; and Mrs. Pixxvus-Porkus, the widow of the eminent Cincinnatti provision merchant. She was formerly the wife of Senator JumpLes, and, when divorced, mar- ried Governor Hovurta of St. Louis (Mo.), whom she divorced in order to espouse Mr. Pinxus-Porkus. Mrs. Spiins, who wore a green gauze gown trimmed with beaver fur, Valenciennes lace and rubies, danced the cachuca on the table after supper, and Mr. Lxonrpas B. Sprovt (one of the ancient Pilgrim Brus- sels-Sprouts) led the cotillon, into which a live sucking-pig and a Virginian ’coon were introduced with most humorous effect. General Spriis had on a pair of boots which once belonged to Marshal Biucner, and was much congratulated on their acqui- sition. A marriage was celebrated this morning at the 990th Avenue Hotel between Mr. JosHvua Xerxes Grass, of Wall Street (reputed to be worth eight millions of dollars), and Mrs. Jang Jemm™a VANTOFF pane better known at the Court of St. James’s as Mrs. L. J. RKINGTON, she having been separated definitely from Mr. Corxineton last September. The ceremony was attended by the élite of New York aristocracy, and the bride, who wore a gown of artificial orange-blossoms on satin, and a sixteen-star diamond coronet, was given away by Mr. NaTHANiEL Zeus Corxineton, nephew of her late husband. The wedding breakfast was served on the roof of the Hotel in a glade of palm trees specially imported from Africa, and known as the Riviera Retreat. I have never seen such a coruscation of combined loveliness and jewels as was here exhibited. The happy couple left in the evening for Mr. Grasp’s in Florida by special Pullman train. They are to be the guests next season of the Duke and Duchess of DaunniewassaL, at | Skelpie Castle, in Scotland. Things theatrical were rather dull till Mlle. ToupicHon, known as the Living Top, was arrested to-night by the police after her exhibition at Clam’s Temple of Fame. Her performance consists in spinning on her nose. Judge Van Pumpetseck held the lively artist to bail, on her own security, in five thousand dollars. The event has created great excitement in fashionable circles. CONFIDENCE FOR CONFIDENCE. In a lecture upon the Art of Interviewing, delivered before the Society of Women Journalists, an expert suggested that an important advantage was gained by the interviewer if he made a favourable first impression upon the interviewed. This seems highly probable. So Mr. Punch sees no reason why he should not give a helping hand to those adopting interviewing as a pro- fession. To the young personal inquirer he says by all means make a favourable first impression upon your subject. There is a right way and a wrong way to do it. He will give some | examples. | very likely create a most unfavou Supposing that the youthful interviewer has to see an arch-| promisi i he presence chamber and finds the dignified | no mi bishop. He gains t f ecclesiastic a receive him. Supposing that he seizes the clerie by the hand, and, calling him “Reverend Sir,” asks his opinion upon | BETWEEN SCYLLA AND CHARYBDIS. Lady Binks (a devoted widow, earnestly), ‘‘On, Mr. Onicnton, BE CAREFUL HOW YoU MARRY! Sik PETER, WHO, AS YOU KNOW, KOSE TO THE HIGHEST POSITIONS, USED FREQUENTLY TO SAY, THAT MORE MEN OWED THEIR SUCCESS TO THE BEAUTY AND SOCIAL CHAKM OF THEIR WIVES, THAN TO THEIR OWN ENERGY AND TALENTS.” Mr. Crichton (plunging on the ‘‘nil nisi bonwm” principle), ‘* SURELY, LADY BINKs, NONE COULD SAY THAT OF Sik Perer!” mistake in the titles of his subject (for which the archdeacon would gently chide him), still, he would have created a very favourable impression. ly, here is another way. Supposing a young man has to interview a literary lion, who can dispose of his work at so many shillings the line in any quantity. Remembering this, the visitor, instead of wasting the time of his subject with idle ques- tioning, might thus address him :—‘“ My good Sir, all you may tell me will make excellent copy, and on that account, as only a pen stands between your wo and the printer, I think it 8 only just that you should derive profit from your own brainwork. Probably this last method would be considered—by authors, at any rate—the best of the three. And, perchance, it might come | about that the interviewed would address the young interviewer as follows:—“ My good friend, as you have still your way to make I will do you a kind turn. You have been frank and con- siderate, and I will reward you. Here, I don’t want to deprive you of a task that may lead to further advancement in your career as a journalist, but as I would rather that there should be es, I will write the interview myself! If it is too favourable, or the reverse, your editor’s blue pencil will know how to deal with it.” And then, with a hearty shake of the the chances of the winter favourite for the | hand, Interviewing Cox and Interviewed Box would both be | Derby—why, this would be the way of doing it, and | satisfied. be impression. But supposing that instead of acting as described the young beginner ste graoesee bows before an archdeacon, bishop,” and respectfully invites “His Grace’s” opinion =e a the condition of the Diocese. Although he would have m calls him “arch- | | At Bath. W iffling (sympathetically). Here on account of the waters ? Piffling” No, Sabeneliy. Here on account of the whiskies. _——————

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Fesruary 6, 1897, A CHEERFUL PROSPECT. Jones. ‘‘1 say, Miss GoLIGHTLY, IT's AWFULLY GOOD OF You KNOW, BROKEN DOWN IN THE THIRD VeRsE!" TO ACCOMPANY ME, YOU Ir I've TRIED THIS Sone once, I'VE TRIED IT A DOZEN TIMES—aAND J'VE ALWAYS A SHEET-LIGHTNING DESCENT. [On the burning of her house in Grosvenor Street, the Dowager Countess Detawaxr knotted two sheets together, and safely descended from the burning building, January 26.] WE have heard of great pluck in disaster, Of courage in dreadful defeat, But a Countess has known, And in peril has shown, How a woman can yet be the master Of fearsome retreat By means of a sheet—just a sheet ! All praise to the Countess—and thanks to the sheet ! Toujours la Politesse. Mr, Spawkins has placed twenty francs en plein on No. 23 (his own age) at the tables of Monte Carlo Madame la Comtesse de VIEILLE- CruCcHE proceeds te rake in the spoil when the coup comes off. Mr. Spawkins. Hi! Madame! confound it all! t was my Nap! Madame la Comtesse. Mille pardons, Monsieur. I am so borgne—blind. Permit me that I return you your stake ? [Hands SpaAWKINs a gold piece, and vanishes before the Briton has recovered from the shock, TO TOM. A Brave Boroven Boarp-Scnoo. Boy. (By an Elderly but Earnest Admirer.) [(‘* Oh, he is a good boy—and such a one for readin’! He takes his ’rithmetic books to bed with "im! That were his only fault—for light is very costly.”"—Mrs. Pullen, on her “ Tom,” a Board-School Boy in the in Board Schools,”” Daily News. Yza, light is vory costly, as the wisest find, or mostly, Bat Tom of Lant Street Board School, you’re a brick, and no mistaka! A great Gare well might glory in the hero of this story. He cried for “light, more light!” But Tommy, can you keep awake With arithmetic in bed, Sir? You must bave a steady head, Sir. And an eager zeal for learning that beats Atexanpze hollow. He kept himself from drowsing by a brazen ball, arousing i Him from nodding by its tumbling. ‘An example good to follow! But you’ve bettered it! How thorough, my young student of the —_ + Must your love of knowledge, when you take your sums to bed. I am sure multiplication cannot signify vexation To a boy so fond of book-lore and with such a wakeful head. Why, J do not mind admitting, though | know that study’s fitting To a fellow who means business, and in- tends to make his way, That the Rule of Three at Night, Sir, would have filled me with affright, Sir; For I couldn’t always fix my thoughts thereon, Tom, e’en by day! Young Tom PuLiEN, you’re a wonner, and at study quite a stunner And I wish you luck, Tom may granny never stint The extra bit of candle to enable you to handle O’er your pillow ciphering problems,— they ’re not all “ as plain as print,” I did LLEN, and As I happen to remember; tho not, in December, Take arithmetic to bed with me—’twas mostly Scorr or DickEns, Or some story book or novel. But oh! in a Lant Street hovel, Where the sun is ne’er too bright, Tom, and the night-mist early thickens, Though the board school is a boon, Tom, and I trust you’ll shine there soon, Tom, There would be excuse for nodding o’er your lessons. But you don’t! Your granny, Tom, has said it, and it’s vastly to your credit, And whoever makes a mull of life, dear Tom, I’m sure you won’t! Lacteal Veracity. Squire (to Mr. Pails, the great dairy- farmer). Bad time for the cows during this frost, eh ? Mr. Pails. Dreadful, Sir. You wouldn’t believe how the ice interferes with the flow of milk. But they recognise the fact in the great metropolis. I’m sorry to say. [ And so does Mr. Pails. Con. ror THAT Concert.—What is the uso of an “Ottoman” that cannot be “sat ped or a Porte—however sublime — which cannot be “ shut up” when needful ?

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—Fesrvary 6, 1897. idl IMPN AAU IN A a jit ii | sourn — SWAINS ————— AT WESTMINSTER HALL. 1796.— 1897. ¢ Snape or Warrrn Hastixos (to Mr. C-c-1 Ru-p-s). “J SUCCEEDED, AND WAS IMPEACHED! YoU FAIL— AND ARE CALLED AS A WITNESS!” ——_

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Fepruary 6, 1897.) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 69

= — jai sa for us, and earn the grati- tude Yours x Tue Tures Lions Ix THE Fourta QuaRTERING. Herald’s College, E.C. } PLAINT OF AN UNPROTECTED FEMALE. (After reading the Debate in the House of Com- mons on Sir H, Vincent's Merchan- dise Marks Ac Amendment Bill.) Fragment from the new Comic (and Economic) Opera * ience.” British Trade sings :— J| Wan I first put that trade mark on Foreign goods which for British would pass, I said, “I have hit on A scheme every Briton Will own is extremely first-class. Penis goods may have charms for the ar, But this mark will establish a scare. The Merchandise Act is, When put into practice, Quite certain home trade to repair.” A fact that I counted upon When : popped “ Made in Germany " on Chorus of Foreign Traders. By a funny coincidence few Could ever have reckoned upon, Th> same thing occurred to us, too, When you first put that Trade Mark on. [ said, when I first put it on, “Tt is plain to the veriest dunce, foreign competitor Now must regret it, or Yield to its glamour at once!” But, gracious! I argued in haste ; Foreign goods, when cheap, handsome and chaste, The buyer, tho British (Most selfishly skittish) Found still very much to his taste. Which I never counted upon, When ; first dabbed that trade mark on Chorus, By a curious difference you Could hardly have counted upon, We took quite an opposite view, When ye first popped that trade mark on [ Foreign Competitors go off joyously. As soon as alone, British Trade changes her manner and becomes intensely mournful. Am I alone, And unobserved? I am! Then let me own The trade mark is a sham! Vincent, I fear, Is but a mere Veneer! ‘Tom Bow.zs’s smile Is but a wile Of guile! E’en Jemmy Lowrugr Is just another. Oh, bother! Let me confess ! Parliament’s use of foreign pencils fright» me “Faber, Bavaria”? Rairoute’s boldness blights me! Who cares what “Made in Germany” If aoe dane? in he Tree” pottiots would not buy Dutch cheese, Or Japanese. But all that Howarp Vincent’s Fair Trade attitudes, And Patriot platitudes, Of true “Protection” seem mere affecta- tion. “Protection” only will protect the na-

tion!

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. {Fesruary 6, 1897. EXCESS LUGGAGE. Elderly Lady (been out shopping, laden with purchases and very much out of breath), ‘‘ But You "4VE ROOM FOR ONE INSIDE.” Conductor. ‘ONE INSIDE 'S ALL VERY WELL, MIssis, BUT WE AIN’T A PANTHICKENIN FuRNITURE RemovaL Van!” THE PLAY-WRECKER’S VADE MECUM. (‘I do not believe in ‘ organised opposition’ on the first night of a new piece—the interruption comes from would-be wits in the pit —) Article in a Theatrical Magazine.) Question. With what end in view do you accept an occupation that an, on the first’ blush—to be neither amiable nor useful Answer. To gratify a strong desire for mischief at the cost of someone else’s comfort, convenience and profit. Q. Then, you do not attempt to laugh a play off the boards merely to protect the interests of the drama? A. Certainly not, for those interests are in far safer hands when they are guarded by managers who have their cash, and dramatic critics their reputation at stake in performing their duty to the British public. Y. What is the duty of a manager to the British public? A. To select, cast, and rehearse a play in such a manner that those who attend the performance shall have no reason to regret the money spent for admission to the auditorium. Q. And what should be the object of the dramatic critic ? A. To write an article that the readers of the paper to which he is accredited shall find a faithful adviser in the choice of theatres with suitable entertainments. Q. Is the work of these two servants of the public a pleasure ? A. That is a matter of chance, but it is certainly an affair of business. Q. Then your action as a play-wrecker differs in one impor- tant protiouer from the duty of a manager and a professional critic A. Of course ; as my object is merely to amuse myself, without counting the cost to the community. Q. Does it require a on mf knowledge of the stage to follow your calling ? A. Not at all; as my object is obtained by catching up some unimportant line in the dialogue and turning it to account by casting it into ridicule. ill you give an illustration of your meaning ? A. Suppose t someone on the stage has to say, at the commencement of the last act, “I wish that this were over,” then it would be my cue to answer, “ And so do we.” Q. It does not matter, I suppose, whether the speech on the on was appropriate to the dramatic situation ? . Quite so. Whether the play is good or bad the retort will be equally effective. Q. I see; then the omission of the stage-manager to cut out a risky line in an excellent play gives you an opportunity to en- danger the fortunes of a work that may have cost years of thought and thousands of hard-earned money ? A. Very likely; but that is the fault of the authorities be- hind the curtain. . And you know that the first thoughtless laugh may be followed by many others? A. So Thee observed ; and, consequently, when I have made the first step in wrecking a play the remainder of the task is delightfully easy. Q. I suppose you have not considered that the wreck of a play entails not only loss upon author and manager, but usually scores of breadwinners ? A. Ihave not given that matter much thought ; but no doubt if actors, actresses, and the employés behind the scenes see the shutters up, they must look elsewhere for situations. _ Q. And what benefit do you derive from having assisted to cause a fiasco? A. The positive pleasure of enjoying a cruel laugh and the possible advantage « * being considered a minor wit amongst small! circle of acquaintances. ; : ve @. Then, taking everything into consideration, and giving your reply as a representative of a fairly good-natured community eotshwen, is the game quite worth the candle? [No answer. 20 et oe ct TO FLD SO Ce ——- =o . = a nw a na ie

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Fesruary 6, 1897.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 71 A SLIPPERY SUBJECT. (Fragment (found floating) from the Diary of a Beginner.) Tx ice will bear. Not impossible that before these lines are in t (if they are ever printed), the sun have broken - mom have pe ee and = wi ng in chee spring- t —_ But for the we ey on ae —~ r tells =, bem ~ oy - eve or me. ell, as I weigh well, or rather badly, over fifteen stone, I re- uire thi on a scale. horses should be elephants, and if I took to cy- ding, Se machine would have to be - ticularly strong in the framework. ut this is not a question of horses or bikes. All I want is a pair of skates—I am told Caledonians, for choice—and there I am. But there is a certain drawback to my _ . I have never tried skating. Fact is, that whenever there was any ice avail- able in my neighbourhood, the moment I made up my mind to put on , there commenced a thaw. I have never had any practice—to speak of. Indeed, had I had any, there would have been a good deal to speak of painfull ~f But away with idle regrets, the ice bear. I am at the edge of the frozen water. My skates have been put on firmly, and I move forward. Come, this is excellent. I find I can stand on the blades. But not for more than five moments. A of wind catches me, and I move feebly for- ward. Then my right leg suddenly = one way, and the another. Then both heels ascend sharply, and down I come on my back. First fall for—or rather on— the ice. I get up, and having lost my hat, try to secure it with the assistance of my umbrella. I cannot rise, as when I put one foot oy on the ice, the knee of the other topples over, and I find my- self on all fours. However, at le secure the hat and replace it on my head. My satisfaction is great, ially when I remember that the ice will i I am i to rise by two kindly skaters who take pity on my forlorn con- dition. I find that I can walk a bit by standing on the sides of the skates. I am told that this is the wrong way, and once | more put firmly—well, scarcely y—on my feet. I am on the centre of the pond. Or rather, I am a little nearer one bank than the other. There is safety in that nearer bank. The other is a shaky invest- ment. I smile at the amusing thought— and stumble. This is no time for frivolity. I strike out nervously. My left leg be- haves better than I could possibly have expected. The right comes up to the left. Both secure—as yet. Then the boisterous wind again makes sport of me. I am being berne along towards a placard bearing an inscription. I cannot control my actions. I have but one comfort left—the ice will bear. .. . No, it won't! At Salt Hill. (Fair American attends her first Meet of the Queen’s Buckhounds. ) Fair American (after surveying the field). Guess we could match Queen Vi0- ToRIA’s friends among poppa’s employ-ees at Chicago. | (But, somehow or other, she contrives to make the : acquaintance of a British Nobleman and a | Baronet, 4th, in a pillory an I) Baron cae. READY-MADE COATS-(OF-ARMS); OR, GIVING ’EM FITS! ae Viscount L-B-cu-re or TWICKENHAM. Arms : Quarterly ; lst, spotted wostuninstorentan tltdh lies ¢ pigott displa Taunton. Crest: ; 4 with a banquet for popularity. sinister, an elector too expensive !” iF S No WouSEHOLD ' L mer qo before a beak several crafty mendicants exposed proper ; 2nd, inside a di loud 3rd Rom ye te, 1 under a cloud proper ; on a ground party -colo of revolt a primrose heraldi od in contumely ; over all, on an escutcheon the family coat of Issuant from a club (National Liberal), a hawk-eyed lynx rampant in his » gorged Supporters : Dexter, a classical fi ngland suitably attired, her defences somewhat neglected perhaps, statant on of northampton proper. Second motto; “ Britannia needs no bulwarks—they come with little nobility ba componée, ch: mes sinister and erased ; Little tion ; re representin e pale of civil ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. ExTRACTED FROM THE Diary or Tony, M.P. House of Commons, Monday, January 25. —At first sight there is nothing about Henry Howorrn that reminds one of Fal- | staff. Nor has Waire Riviey quite the | figure of Prince Hal. Yet to-night he fell | quite naturally into the attitude of the | light-hearted Prince on a famous occasion. “ Mark,” said Prince Hal, when Falstaff had made an end of the detailed narrative of his fight with the men in buckram, “‘ Mark now how plain a tale shall put you down.” On Friday Parvce Antnur, knowing all the facts, burning with indignation at rsions and insinuations which painted Warre Ruiwiey a black conspirator, flew at the astonished Howorrs, ban i about the head, almost litera him off premises. Prince ArTnuR 80 violently angry, people n to think there was something in the " To-night Home Secretary appears at table, unruffled, serene in the snowy white- ness of his innocence. Did not even turn aside for a moment to rap at Howortsu or lament over Jemmy Lowruer’s latest lapse from line with old friends and colleagues on Treasury Bench. It had been said that an encouragement to crime, that it had been accomplished in political collusion with the Insh Members. Home Sxone- TARY simply said these things were not, and in few unadorned sentences substan- tiated his denial. Carried entire House with him, and though Jzemmy Lowrner tipped his hat further back over his broad brow, and smiled inscrutably, Howorrn hastened to abandon his amendment, A striking triumph this of force of moral character. There are, as Sank says, two rsonages for whom House of Commons as unerring scent. One is a humbug, the other an honest man. Business done.—Debate on Address. Tue Pye =: 4 wandering about the corridors and lobby in strangely pen- sive mood. Committee Room No. 15, birthplace of a United Irish Party, has been once more the scene of inte of fraternal feeling. Resolution carried which practically expels from the brother- hood Tim and those faithful to him. It is not this thunderclap that clouds his man! brow, that dims his eyes with unwon moisture, and causes to quiver lips thet y close when the figure Joun Driz0n crosses his path. They pe a what resolutions they , and Trm’s stout heart would beat without tremor or Ripuey’s release of the dynamitards was

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72 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Fesruary 6, 1897. regret. There is worse than that, and Trm’s voice falters as he tells the tale. “ After they passed the resolution,” says he, “I got up and openly declared that I defied and despised its provisions. On re- suming my seat, | wrote a polite request that this phrase should be entered on the formal minutes of the proceedings, and what do you think? They refused to do it.” Thus was the iron driven into Trm’s soul. In a free country, at the close of the so- called nineteenth century, gathered within the precincts of the mother of Parlia- ments, the chairman, representing a ma- jority of a meeting, actually declines at the request of one present to enter on the minutes the fact that the gentleman in the body. of the room “defied and despised’ conclusions arrived at by the said majo- rity! That is the last straw breaking the stalwart back upon which has been piled contumely after contumely. It was not much to ask; a few scratches of the pen would have done it. Jonn Drt1o0N, in- ebriate in the strength of his majority, stubbornly refused. So the die was cast, and Tim, perhaps not without generous tears, has finally severed the tie that bound him to his old associates. Now there are not two Irish Parties, but three Irish Parties, all hating each other for the love of Ireland. “There’s the Dillonites and the Red- mondites ; what will your Party be called ?’ I asked Tim “They 'd better call us the Ishmaelites,” | Cro he said; “I warrant we'll live up to the part.” Business done.—Address agreed to. Wednesday.—The House laughed noisily when Rrrcuis jumped up just now, inter- ce pted the lead pencil Jemmy LowTHer was handing back to Howarp Vincent, and ut it in his pocket. But there was a ? llow ring in the laughter. There remains an uneasy feeling in reviewing the incident. It arose in debate on Bill to amend Merchandise Marks Act. Early in its Not Sir Alb-rt R-ll-t, but Mr. Bh-wn-ggree, of Bethnal Green, walking into Sir W. Wedderburn, Naoroji and Co, course, RitcHim an Boaiae, Vee a lead pencil. (As marking the happily tem- porary, certainly deplorable, eu of morality current, it may be mentioned that Howarp Vincent forgot to return the article.) In proof of the invasion of goods made in Germany, lead pencils were ashing forth in all directions. Ever was found on them the mark of the Beast— “ Made in Bavaria.” Jemmy LowrTHeR, conscious of rectitude, fearless in his Protectionist principles, drew a pencil from his poke, and (in Par- liamentary language, of course) offered to bet the Spzaker two to one that it was ish made. Fortunately for him, the bet not taken. Jemmy, examining his pro- perty, found that it also was in Ba- varia. In gallant attempt to cover his confusion, Howarp VINCENT to him across Gangway another pencil bearing the same mark. JemMy, having ascertained this fact, was handing the thing back when up jumped President of the Board of Trade, made a dash at the pencil as aforesaid, and keted it. “Then,” said Mr. Lowrner, in stern voice, “this is a pencil supplied to a Minister of the Crown?” “No,” said Rironi, trembling under his frown. “I got it in the library.” “Well,” said the judicial Jemmy, in- voluntarily passing his hand over his head as if feeling for the Black Cap, “it is a pencil acquired by a Minister of the Crown, and I think a Minister of the Crown ought to acquire an English-made article.” How lovely is that word “acquire”! “*Convey’ the wise call it.” “ Acquire” is the way of putting it that ocours to the judicial mind of Jemmy LowrHer when or a moment. a shade ——— low over the moral character of a Minister of the wn. Business done. — Howarp VINcENT’s Merchandise Marks Amendment Bill po- litely, but firmly, thrust forth. Thursday. — Throughout occasional _tu- mult of debate to-night on Lord Pern- niyn’s quarrel with his quarrymen, there sat on front bench of Peers’ Gallery a tall figure with face inscrutably masked, stenily staring. At beginning of sit- ting, there was crowd Peers. None spoke to the Masked Figure, nor It to em. It took Its seat at question time, and with brief interval, when Speaker re- tired, It remained till eleven o’clock, when debate closed. Nothing that passed in animated scene below brought a flicker of expression to the stony face. Jones of Arfon set forth case of quarrymen in speech of admirabl« tene, delivered with modest mien that me won eo | of House. Lord FNRHYN’s son and heir stumbled over monuments of manuscript in defence of his noble father. Bromuzy-Davenport de- livered brilliantly erratic speech on same lines. President of Board of Trade, jeered at from below Gangway, where the you Tory lions were conscious of approach ‘of feeding time, defended action of his de- partment. Squire or Matwoop solemnly improved the occasion. Prince ARTHUR, troubled about many things, clawed vici- cusly at the statel lowe that had just re- sumed its seat on Front ition Bench. So the discussion rolled on, sometimes monotonously meandering, oftener tumb- ling down turbulently like the waters at Lodore. Always the figure in the Peers’ Gallery sat impassive, stonily staring. Quite fascinated me. Asked Sark who It was. “Lord Pewrurn,” he whispered. Business done.— Lively debate on the Penrhyn Quarry dispute. Friday.—Great comfort to us all to have Cap’en Tommy Bowxgs constantly moored alongside Treasury Bench. His presence inspires feeling of confidence in any emer- gency. Suppose a sudden vacancy either at the Treasury, the War Office, the Ad- miralty, the Board of Works—anywhere you please. There’s the Cap’sn ready and GettTine A SLATING. Lord Penrhyn’s Attitude! (A recollection of the Peers’ Gallery during the Bethesda Debate.) willing temporarily, or if the nation in- sits, permanently, to fill up vacancy. o-night gave fresh assurance in new di- rection. House engaged in carrying South African Committee ; got into a muddle as to whether number should be seventeen or fifteen ; dilemma intensified by discovery that the motion as it stood on the paper es sixteen. SauNDERSON, who fears nothing, grappled with difficulty for seve- ral moments. At last gave it up in despair. When House believed that, somehow or other, it had been settled, Tim Hearty brought it up in fresh phase. All eyes turned towards Speaker. Right hon. gentleman slowly rose. Before he could open his mouth, the Cap’szn had tripped his anchor, slewed his forearm— yy -_ arm?” growls Jonnston of Bally- kilbeg, “why, he’s only got one”)—run his lee-scuppers before the wind, and set- tled the whole matter. “That is what I was about to say,” meekly observed the Spzaker, when the Car’sn had signalled his message. A generous but unfortunate admission. It may lead to the question being some day raised, Why not save the salary of the Speaker, entrusting his duties to the care of the Car’zn? Business done.—South African Com- mittee appointed. Walking Home from the Pantomime. Little Chris (who usually to bed very early). Mamma, have all the angels been to ti Lane to-night ? Mamma. No, darling. Why? Little Chris (pointing to the stars). "Cause they’ve kept the lamps up there lighted so late. i

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FRERES' FIRST QUALITY e bottle post tree on RICHD. "MATHE® & €0., Mand 25, BART 8T., BLOOMSBURY, W6 Sold by all Le spine Meacuasrs throughout Tsou Dus and the CoLom i ks. (EERINC'S ear CoPpENHAGEN (HERRY BRANDY. The Best Liqueur COLDEN BRONZE MAIR ely nuance “Chatain VFoupcéte imps ted to Hair of an Sold only by W. WINTER, 472, Price ds. 6d. 105. 6d., tis. For tim Hair AKINE is invalu: “PUNGH™ is being set up every week by LINOTYPE COMPOSING MACHINES, pe PERFECTLY HARMLESS. Rold we erfumers and Chemiate. Wholesale IOVENDEN & SONS 1 ane oh Principal P. lat! Medicine W ae Sa Ot eee colour by ysin hod rey oO y. BUSHMILLS PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI—Fesrvuary 6, CE S. & H. HARRIS’S HARNESS COMPOSITION SADDLE PASTE Factory : London, B. WtsTale ie ao ste | EVERY HOM E As Supplied to H.M. the QUEEN. | |HOYIS BREAD. \HOVWIS BISCUITS, 6d. and is. samples on receipt of stamps. See that all Bread is stamped “ HOVIS.”’ If any diiculty be experienced in obtain- ing “ BOVIS,” oF what is supplied is not satisfactory, please write, sending sample (the cost of which will be defgayed) to S. FITTON AND SON, MILLERS, MACCLESFIELD. i yy T. ; y” i —— re reapers. Oil xngines, ” PHO} WA SIMPLICIT EASTIAN’s POCKET ana No. ¢ BYl lL s-Eve The Pocket. Price £1 18. ‘POWELL $ BALSAM Pe dehit 8 Poet ® mus Haker , ‘ce POWELL, in Bond, Lonion. WB. ayy) 93 Plants are sold a4 slightly increased prices. GENERAL CATALCQUE 1m poems of Uarery + . ae Cd : on this F WITH & ba., e tie Me THE PASTEUR” (anion) FILTER, "Phe € tandard of Efficient wile: | tien.” —Burtisn Manicar Jovenas. “A real preventative of water- borne disease.’’—Laxcer. ‘to be bad at the Stores, most Filter Dealers, or from the Makers. ¥. DEFRIES & SONS, | * 147, Housanrren, Loxpus, E.C. | 2 — For Delicate Children. SQUIRE’S HEMICAL FOOD. In Bottles, 26., 3s. 6d., & Gs. each, AT ALL, CHEMISTS ayo STORES, ano SQUIRE & SONS, Her Majesty’ s Chemists, 413, OXFORD STREET, LONDON. ov VIGHY GELES TINS syn Sold by all Chemists, Druggists, and Grocers throughout the Kingdom, Sole Importers: INGRAM & ROYLE, 52, FARRINGDON STREET, LONDON, E.C. FOR COMPLAINTS of the STOMACH, LIVER, dc., VRINK| kes pictures 14 Phot Mat EASTMA Paris :—¢ Place Vendom BRRLIN :—g Morkgrafeo. Strasse Rochester, N.Y., ¥ 5-4 _ Eastman Ke “FOR THE BLOOD IS THE LIFE.” CLARKE’S WOR!).D-FAMED BLOOD MIXTURE Js warranted to cleanse the blood from ail impurities, from whatever cause arising. | For Serofula, Scurvy, Eezema, Bad Legs Skin and Blood Dixeases, Pimples am Sores of all kinds, ity effects are mar- velious. It is the only real vitke for | Ge out and Rheumatic Pains, for it removes ithe cause from the blood and bones. Thousands of wonderful cures have been effected by it. In bottles, 2s. Od. and ils, each, of Chemints everywhere BEWARE OF WORTHLESS IMITATIONS. ARD rps BULL’S-EYE KODAK CArIERAS, Loaded in Daylight. The No. 2 Ball’ 's- mye. Price ai’ hes. The No. 4 Bull's-Lye. ‘Price fa ios. Makes pictures § yy Ltd. tig-tt7 Oxtord Street, Londea, W.

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‘PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—Fesrvarr 6, 1897. a ae -_ 3s ‘XS _- oe > SHOPPING IN SEDAN CHAIRS IN THE LAST CENTURY. Queen Charlotte's visit to Pears, for Soap for her Complexion, a Hundred Years ago. Printed by William Stuart *mith, of No ; Holloway, in the Parish of St. Mary, Islington, in the County of Middlesex, at the Printing Offices of Messrs. Bradbury, A