Punch 1894-08-11: Vol 107 Iss 2770

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CRAND HOTEL, LONDON. THE . HOTEL VICTORIA, LONDON.

=== CORDON HOTELS Z22=: BRICHTON. HOTEL METROPOLE, MONTE CARLO. Jomenron f ARE ( “a-e ~~ ey CLARENCE ROOMS Ry NDIA UO OS asd og au - ~ ¢ LT} ahead I J) ; \ * G : 4 > Registered at the General Post Office as a Newspaper. VOLUME CVIL. —~——— AUGUST 11, > ] kK © Qa >| x Ww > w ie) wi z 7) J Oo =) a - See ess are ae Be) a LDU AL ba OL Yl. y PRICE THREE PENCE. { >t 7 Py \ Wy I e 4% = ayes 4 if ' > OO Fosse ci a wh a ? LS cae PUNCH OFFICE, 85, FLEET STREET, & 1 A LONDON.

RY'S cdertietrey: COL OA “STRONGEST AND BEST.” —Aali.

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ed ey el r ' ware « Avoust 11, 1894.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 61 | LORD ORMONT'S MATE AND MATEY'S AMINTA. | Br G***°GE M*R*D*TH. Vorvme III, Anp now the climax comes not with e-lolling sheep- fleece wolves, ears on top remorselessly pricked for slaughter of the bleating imitated lamb, here a fang pointing to nether- | most pit not of stomach but of Acheron, tail waving in de- rision of wool-bearers whom the double-rowed desiring mouth | soon shall grip, food for mamma-wolf and baby-woll, papa- wolf looking on, licking chaps expectant of what shall : and up goes the clamour of flocks over the country-side, and up po howling of shepherds shamefully tricked fable artifice or doggi ereliction of duty; for a watch has been set through which the -enemy broke paws on he pozwl, ane, he King Soclaetng Gan, Be ern- ment, a slab-faced jubber-mubber of contendi anies. party-voters to the front, conscience poten how far behind no man can tell, and the country f a lout dragging his chaw-bacon hobnails like a flask-fed snail housed safely, he thinks, in unbreakable shell soon to be broken, and no man’s fault, while the slow we | sinks to the enemy, ships bursting, guns jammed, and a dull shadow of defeat on a war-oftice drifting to the tide-way of unimagined back-stops on a lumpy cricket-field of national interests. But this was a —— aay a we the world, be ei my iting ane HARLOTTE dumbed it surprisingly. » pu a for u and n for b in the dumbed, and you have the way MorsFreLp mouthed it, and Marey swimming with Browny full in the Harwich tide; head under heels up down they go in Old Ocean, a glutton of such embraces, lapping softly on a = white ducks tar-stained that very morning and no mistake, **T have you fast!” cried Mater. **Two and two’s four,” said Browny. She aiaped. * Are four,” corrected he, a tutor at all times, boys and girls taken in and done for, and no change given at the turnstiles. Catch as catch can,” was her next word. went a = wave full in the rosy mouth, ‘* Where’s the catch of this?” : stuttered the man. - PSS Satse re = pw bellowed the lady. “* But not by four- | in-han ndon.” | 1ES. She had him there. He smiled a blue acquiescence. So| NO END TO nis INIQUITIES they om and the die was cast, — = one Pad (From a Yorkshire Moor.) oe ine it ¢ loti ' . —_ aabing dea tn ay the pone Rt Sportsman (awaiting the morrow, and meeting Keeper as he strolls round), to a dislike of immersions two at a time, and the hair clammy |“ Weit, RoporRs, THINGS LOOK FAIRLY HOPEFUL FOR To-moRnow rut with salt like cottage-bacon on a breakfast-table. Rodgers (strong Tury). “Wait, Six, MIDLIN’, PRETTY MIpLIN’, Bur, on Lord Ormoyt sat with the jewels seized from the debating, | DEAR, IT's AWK'ARD THIS "ERE TWELFTH BRIN’ FIX#D OF A Sunday! ( unbeaten sister’s |( With much wisdom.) “‘ Now, micut Mr. GLADSTONE HA’ HAD HANY THING * She is at Belew F he opined, TO DO WI’ THAT ARRANGEMENT, Sin?” ** Was,” put in Lady CHARLOTTE. L —— SNE EET ye yO NE RN The answer blew him for memory. General’s nest, General’s wife to bear him company, and lo! the ** MorsrreLp’s dead,” his lordship ventured; ‘‘jobbed by a fvil General brings a grand-nephew to the supplanter, convinced of with button off.” nobility beyond petty conventions of divorce-court rigmarole, So the ‘* And a good job too.” world wags wilful to the offshoot, lawn-mowers grating, grass flying, Lady CHARLOTTE was ever on the crest-wave of the moment's and perspiring gene slow in his shirt-sleeves primed Ae humour. He snicked a back-stroke to the limits, shaking the s beer that shall line his lean ribs at supper-time, nine o clock is it, or hair of repentance to the wind of her jest. But the qusbashed one eight—parishes vary, and a wife at home has rules. A year later he ti ; wrote— 7 , ot rl not call on her.” “ Srr,—Another novel is on hand. Likely you will purchase. * You ” said he, Readers gape ~ - Better than acrostics, they say, fit for fifty ss “” : ning-parr ? pages. t P «You dhall”” he wenteted : meas — “G***or M’R*p*rH.” “Never. Her head is a water-flower that speaks at case in the Tue Exp. open sea. How call on a woman with a head like that ?”’ . The shock struck him fair and square. ition he said, and the conflict closed with advantage to the ae PAnce ov aves: staffed tee jgetfor bulbousnes, food for donkeys Sgeige Step One.—The te to lenoping the English language. me De eos it. bentae Sooo lames — English language, the nation ‘* Whence and whither comes it?” | Step Three.—Having mastered the meaning of the leaders, the ** Postmark may tell.” | nation start a Parliament Best open it,” said the cavalry general, ever on the dash for | Ste ie age got a a. a establixhes school t uadron deploy should serre- benpde, ays, ers, nny ices. , in rear, and a rideous clatter of ~~ dt peead over all. He Step Fice—Having become fairly civilised, the nation takes up opened it. It was Amrnra’s letter. She announced a French leave- | art and commerce. ‘ ; , taking. The footman still stood. Lord Onuont broke the silence.| Step Siz.—Having realised ~~ welt, Go Ld ‘= “ — ” the words quivered pletion chases t lads, heavy ordnance, munition. blank who will, ” na a — | Step Beven.— Having the means within reach, the nation indulges But her punishment was certain. For it must be thus. Never a/ in a terrific war lady left her wedded husband, but she must needs find herself| Step Fight and Last.—Having lost everyt thing, the nation returns weighted with charge of his grand-nephew. Cuckeo-tutor tits in| with a af telief to old-fashioned barbarism. VOL. CVI, G

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| [Avecst ll, 1894 TL ACTIVI . — NMh WN NNN i 7 mG See f \ MAG Y fj et; 4 ' a , +/ *o- a * “2 an, YLELEEB ow ‘a 2) il) : Lae l, pig OY , : oe Wy y tal fi V2 y) : Wh ; ” Z, . YY YX We Y Wh) fa ' , 4 - L .s i al + YSN mT ) In } PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. THE TRIUMPH OF CIVILISATION!

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Avevusr 11, 1894.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL 63 A HINT TO THE''POSTAL AUTHORITIES. Tue Em! LoyMENT oF GooD-LOOKING FREQUENT DETENTION OF THE MAILS, AND Artrractive Youne Mew 1s cLeartne THe Lerrer-Boxes UNDOUBTEDLY RESULTS LN EASTWARD HO! ** On East is East, and West is West,” says | strenuous Rupyarp Kip.ine, And what has the West taught to the East, save the science of war, and tippling ? To ram, and to torpedo, and to drain Drink’s poisoned flagons ? [plated Dragons! And Civilisation sees her work in—armour- The saurians of primeval slime they fought with tooth and claw, And Sso-xr’s dragon, though possessed o wondrous powers of j jaw, And MIOcHIN’ s scaly monster, whereat SHo-xk1's pluck might melt, And the d m speared b stout St. George | in the bold cartoons of Skeit,— These were but simple monsters, like the giants slain by Jack, But your dragon in armour-plate with turrets on his back, (and horrid tail And a charged torpedo twisted in his huge Is a thing to stagger Science, and to make poor Peace turn pale! Yes, East is East, and West is West ; but the "West looks on the East, And sees the bold Jap summoning to War's wild raven-feast The saffron- faced Celestial; and the game they ’re going to play (With 2 a touch of onl goriness) in the wicked Western way For the yellow-man i. borrowed from the white-man all that’s bad, Ironclad. From shoddy and fire-water, to costly He will not have our Bibles, but he welcomes our Guns And he blends with the uae savagery of Vandals, Goths or Hun The scientific slaughter of “the Blood-and- _ Tron Teuton !— lA sight that Civilisation would right | willingly be mute on. | But these armour-plated dragons that infest | the Yellow Sea Are worse than the Norse ‘‘ Dragons” whose black raven flag flew free O'er fiord and ocean-furrow in the valorous Viking days. — Chinee and a Jap have learned r Western wa A ee multitudinous bloodshed ; every slaughter- Devices ceo death dealing skill, and deviltries ence stealthy Mongol and the| Strengthen Pe sanguinary And Civilisation eis, and stares, and cries, 7 ** Is this my work ¢” Mem. by a Muddled One. “* Poems in Prose” seem all the go. They ’re bad enough, but worse The dreary hotch-potch we all know | Too sadly ;—prose in verse ! OLD THREE-VOL. Ture rose two Book-Kings in the West, Two Kings both great and high ; And they have sworn a solemn Good old Three-Vol. shall die. They took a pen and wrote him down, Piled sins upon his And they have sworn a ‘solemn oath Good old Three- Vol. is dead. But when “‘ the Season” comes once more, And folks for fiction call, Old Three- Vol, may rise up again, And sore surprise them all! REMNANTS. (A Pindaric Fragment, ) In the young season’s prime Yon remnant felt its major portion reft, And waited for the surplus time Ingloriously left. For it no glories of the la No whirling in the valse that greets the dawn, No record in the fleeting roll of fame That gives the wearer’s name , And ee a waiting world what gown she «While th that which went before No cheaply-sober se wid has — ‘But graced fair Fashion’s Where Pleasure pm Apr pt Within the fancied ci Watches the Polo cavalry — war, The victim pigeons tumbled in their gore, | The rival Blues at Lord’s, the racing steeds On Ascot's piney meads, Or where luxuriant Goodwood’ s massy trees Murmur to no common And — ome the glint of England’ 8 summer ye proud, nor grandeur If If frag Hlogane, din Gases ot ond fair, ashion reap, ooh — waited. 4 with nought to Get the same goods, though late, and get Next year the ‘aintiest — by lawn and ‘May haply be the fruit of surplus summer Impate 4 fault, Pore voR THE EMANCIPATED Sex.—"' The __ | understudy of mankind is woman.”

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| 4 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL |Aversr 11, 1894. LYRE AND LANCET. (A Story in Scenes.) PART VI.—ROUND PEGS IN SQUARE HOLES. Scene 1X.—The Entrance Hall at Wyvern. Tredwell (to Lady Cantine). This way, if you please, my lady. Her ladyship is in the Hamber Boudwore. Lady Cantire, Wait. (She looks round.) What has become of that young Mr. Anprom * (Perceiving Srureeit, who has heen modestly endeavouring to efface himself.) Ah, there he is! Now, come auue. and be presented to my sister-in-law. She'll be enchanted to know you! Spurrell. But indeed, my lady I—I think 1’d better wait till she sends for me. Lady Cant. Wait? Fiddlesticks! What! A famous young man like you! Remember Andromeda, and don’t make yourself so ridiculous ! Spurr. (miserably). Well, Lady Cawtree, if her ladyship says anything, | hope you’ll bear me out that it wasn t Lady Cant. Bear you out? My good young man, you seem to need somebody to bear you in’ Come, you are under My wing. I answer for your welcome—so do as you're told. Spurr. (to himself, as he follows resignedly). It’s my belief there ll be a jolly row when I do goin; but it’s not my fault! Tred. (opening the door of the Amber Boudor), Lady Cantire and Lady Maisie Merit. (7o Srverett.) What name, if you ple ase, Sir 4 Spurr. (dolefally). You can say “James Spurre..”’—you needn't bellow it, you know! Tred. (ignoring this suggestion). Mr. James SPURBELL. Spurr. (to himself, on the threshold). Tf I don’t get the chuck for this, I shall be sur- prised, that’s all! [| He enters. Scene X.—Jn a Fly. Undershell (to himself). Alone with a lovely girl, who has no suspicion, as yet, that I am the poet whose songs have thrilled her with admiration! (Could any situation be more romantic’ I think I must keep up this little mystification as long as ible. Phillipson (to hersel ). I wonder who he is. Somebody's Man, I suppose. I do be- lieve he’s struck with me. Well, I’ve no objection. I don't see why I shouldn’t forget Jim now and then—he’s quite forgotten me! Aloud.) They might have sent a decent carriage for us instead of this ramshackle old summerhouse. We shall be Aours getting to the house at this rate ! Und. (gallantly), For my part, I care not how long we may be. I feel so unspeakably content to be where I am. Phill. (disdainfully). In this mouldy, lom- bering old concern’ You must be rather easily contented, then ! Und. (dreamily). It travels only too swiftly. To me itis a veritable enchanted car, drawn by a magic i Phill, | don’t know whether he’s magic—but I'm sure he’s lame. And | shouldn't call stuffiness enchantment myself. Und. I'm not pre to deny the stuffiness. “ What name, if But cannot you | guess what has transformed this vehicle for me—in spite of its un- deniable shorteomings—or must I speak more plainly still ? Phill, Well, considering the shortness of our acquaintance, I must say you've spoken quite plainly enough as it is! | reserve ; ''nd. | know I must seem unduly expansive, and wanting in and yet that is not my true dispo-ition. In general, I feel | an almost fastidious shrinking rom strangers—— Phill. (with a little laugh). Really, I shouldn’t have thought it! (nd. Because, in the present case, I do not—I cannot—feel as if we were strangers, Some mysterious instinct led me, almost from the first, to associate you with a certain Miss Matste MuLt. Phill, Well, 1 wonder how you discovered that. Though you shouldn't have said *‘ Miss "’—Zady Maisie Mutt is the name. Und. (to himself). Lady Maiste Muti! I attach no meaning to titles and yet nothing but rank could confer such perfect ease and distinetion. (4lowd.) I should have said Lady Maisie Mut, un- doubtedly —forgive my ignorance Bat at least I have divined you. Does nothing tell you who and what J may be ? Phill. Oh, I think I can give a tolerable guess at what you are. Und. You recognise the stamp of the Muse upon me, then ? Phill, Well, I shouldn't have taken you for a groom exactly. Und. (with some chagrin). You are really too flattering ! Phill. Am 1? Then it’s your turn now. You might say you'd never have taken me for a lady’s maid ! Und. | might—if I had any desire to make an unnecessary and insulting remark. Phill. ipoiieg ? Why, it’s what I am! I’m maid to Lady Matste. I thought your mysterious instinct told you all about it ? Und. (to himself—after the first shock), A lady's maid! Gracious Heaven! What have I been saying—or rather, what Aaren’t I? Aloud.) To—to be sure it did. Of course, I quite understand that. To himself). Oh, confound it all, I wish we were at Wyvern! Phill. And, after all, you’ve never told me who you are. Who are you: T a. (to himself). I must not humiliate this poor girl! (4/oud.) 1? Oh—a very insignificant — I assure you! (To himself.) This is an oceasion in which ption is purdonable—even justifi- able Phill. Oh, I knew that. But you let out just now you had to do witha Mews. You aren’t a rough-rider, are you? ' Und. N—not exactly not a rovgh-rider. (To himself.). Never on a horse in my life! — unless I count my Pegasus. (Aloud.) But you are right in supposing I am connected with a muse—in one sense. Phill. 1 said so, didn’t 1? Don’t you think it was rather clever of me to spot you, when > you’re not a bit horsey-looking ? Und. (with elaborate irony). Accept my compliments on a power of penetration which is simply phenomenal ! Plull, (giving him a little push), Oh, go along—it’s all talk with you -I don’t believe you mean a w you say ! Und, (to himself). She’s becoming abso- lutely vulgar. (Aloud.) I don’t—I don’t; it’s a manner I have; you mustn't attach any importance to it—none whatever ! Phil . What! Not to all those high-flown compliments? Do you mean to tell me you’re only a gay deceiver, then ? Und. (in horror). Not a deceiver, no; and decidedly not gay. I mean I did mean the compliments, of course. (To himself.) I mustn’t let her suspect anything, or she'll get talking about it ; it would be too horrible if this were to get round to Lady Maisie or the CuLvERINs—so undignified; and it would ruin all my prestige! I’ve only to go on playing a part for a few minutes, and—maid or not—she ’s a most engaging girl! [He goes on playing the part, with the unexpected result of sending Miss PHILLIPSON into fits of uncontrollable laughter. Scene XI1.—The Back Entrance at Wyrern., The Fly has just set down Puitiirson and UNDERSHELL. Tredwell (receiving Pariipson). Lady Marste’s maid, I presume? I’m the butler here—Mr. TaEepwett. Your ladies arrived some time back. I'll take you to the house- | keeper, who ’ll show you their rooms, and where yours is, and I hope | you'll find everything comfortable, (Jn an undertone, indicating UNDERSHELL, who is oper recognition in the doorway.) Do you yen to know who it is with you ? ? 4 *hillipson (in a whisper). 1 can’t — make him out he’s so flighty in his talk. But he says he belongs to some Mews or other. red, Oh, then J know who he is. We expect him right % He's a partner in a crack firm of Vets. We've sent for him special. I'd better see to him, if you don’t mind finding your own way to the Housekeeper’s Room, second door to the left, down that you please, Sir?” | eneridor. (Partiirsox departs.) Good morning to you, Mr.—ah-- r.——* Undershell foaming forward), Mr, Uspersaett. Lady CoLverix ex , 1 eve. a red, Quite Mr. Unpexrsuett, Sir. Shedo. Leastwise, I shouldn’t say myself she’d require to see eo ~well, not before to-morrow oe ye you won't mind that, I daresay. Und, (choking). Not mind that! Take me to her at once ! Tred. Couldn't take it on myself, Sir, really. There’s no Pac ticular ’urry. I'll let her ladyship know you're ‘ere; and if she wants you, she’ll send for you; but, with a party staying in the » wt eta oo oe oan ae fee

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Aveusr 11, 1894.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARLI. ’ouse, and others dining with us to-night, it ain’t likely as she’ll have time for you till to-morrow. Und. Oh then, whenever her ladyship should find leisure to re- collect my existence, will you have the goodness to inform her that I have taken the liberty of returning to town by the next train ? Tred. Lor! Mr. UnpersHeLt, you aren’t so pressed as all that, are you? I know my ledy wouldn’t like you to go without seei you personally; no more wouldn’t Sir Rupert. And I und you was coming down for the Sunday ! Und. (furious). So did I—but not to be treated like this ! Tred, (soothingly). Why, you know what ladies are. And you couldn’t see Deer foot—not perly, to-night, either. Und. 1 have seen enough of this place already. I intend to go back by the next train, I tell you. Tred. But there ain't any next train up to-night—being a loop line—not to mention that I’ve sent the fly away, and they can't spare no one at the stables to drive you in. Come Bir, make the best of it. I’ve had my horders to see that you ’re made bs Mrs. Pomrret and me will expect the pleasure of your company at sapper in the ’ousekeeper’s room, 9.30 sharp. I'll send the Steward’s toom Boy to show you to your room, F He goes, leaving UNDERSHELL speechless, Und. (almost foaming). The insolence of these cursed aristocrats ! Lady CuLvVERIN will see me when she has time, forsooth! I am tobe entertained in the servants’ hall! This is how our upper ¢ honour poetry! I won’t stay a single hour under their infernal roof. I'll walk. But where to? And how about my luggage? HILLIPSON returns, Phill. Mr. TreDWELL says you want to go already! It can’t be true! Without even waiting for supper ? Und. (gloomily). Why should I wait for supper in this house ? Phill, Well, Z shall be there ; I don’t know if that’s any induce- —, to h or te : [She looks > ‘nd, (to himself). She is a singularly bewitching creature ; I’m starving. Why shouldn't I core only to shame these Cur- vERINS ? It will be an experience—a study in life. I can always go afterwards. I will stay. (Aloud.) You little know the sacrifice you ask of me, but enough; I give way. We shall meet—(with a gulp) —in the housekeeper’s room ! Phill. (highly amused), You are a comical little man. You ’Il be the death of me if you go on like that! [She flits away. Und. (alone). 1 feel di to be the death of somebody! Oh, Lady Maistre Mutt, to what a bathos have you lured your poet by your artless flattery—a banquet with your aunt’s butler! A BETTING MAN ON CRICKET. Cricket may be a game, but I can’t call it . For ‘‘ the odds” at it aren’t to be reckoned. _ There the last ’s often first ere you come into port, While the first is quite frequently second. There was Surrey, you see, slap a-top o’ the tree, While Sussex was at the \. But, thanks to the in-and-out form of the three, You never know when you have got ’em! For when I backed Surrey with cheerful content. Why Kent walloped Surrey, and Sussex whopped Kent!!! OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. ** THereE are, methinks,” quoth the Baron, “‘ two or three novels —one certainly I can call to mind—wherein the interior domestic life of Jews strict in the observance of their ancient and most touching religious rites and ceremonies is more amply, as as more minutely, described than in Mr. Farsgon's Aaron the Jew, which, be it my pleasing duty to testify, is one of the best of this prolific author's works ; a simple, touching story, the interest being well kept up, as of course the “ interest” should be when dealing with the true history of one who commenced as a pawnbroker.” As to the rites above mentioned, no special or intimate experience is shown to be possessed by the author, who could very easily have obtained his materials from an interesting work entitled, as I faney, The Jew at Home, which has, the Baron regrets to say, disappeared from its shelf in the Baron’s library. Aaron is lively, is gay, is witty, a “* Jew d esprit,” and, like Mr. Peter Magnus, he amuses a small circle of intimate friends ; but his story, that of his sweet wife Rachel, as related by Mr. Farsnon, will increase this friendly circle to a very considerable extent. The Baron ventures to think that a good deal of the dialogue and of the descriptive writing is unnecessary,—but Mr. Farseon likes to give everyone plenty for their money,— further, that the story would have gained the loss of what have reduced the three volumes to two, But altogether is ‘* recommended ” by the interested but disinterested Baron pr Boox-Worms., , the novel oe ae ROM OM Aayj SPINA QOKE S Wh NE «. f jf ty >! / yi iY ‘igh J ARTFUL. Mamma (to Johnny, who has been given a Pear with Pills artfully concealed in it), ‘‘ WELL, DEAR, HAVE YOU FINISHED your Pran/” Johnny. ‘‘ Yes, MAMMA, ALL BuT THE Seeps!” A VOTE OF THANKS. By a Hard-up Journalist, A strange light hes a red on that of the surface of Mars not animinated by che sun, Phe Wostminste Genette of August 2 asks the question, “ Is Mars signalling to us? ’’) On, men of Mars, we thank you, your behaviour’s really kind! Forgive us if ’ve lately slipped somewhat out of mind !) or now the silly season ’s set in with all its ‘ rot,” You once more raise the question whether you exist or not. No doubt the good old topics will trot out yet again :— ** Is Flirting on the Increase?” “Is Marriage on the Wane ?” Big gooseberries as usual with sea-serpents will compete, To help the British Press-man his columns to complete ! But you, my merry Martians, have unely planned A mild but new sensation for the holidays at hand ; Your planet’s *‘ terminator,” it seems, is now ablaze— ’Tis, say the cognoscenti, a signal that you raise ! What is it that you re shewing terrestrial telescopes ¢ Is’t pills youre advertising, or booming patent soaps ¢ How on earth can one discover what by this beacon ’s meant, Whether news of Royal Weddings or Railway Strikes is sent ? Alas! We haven’t mastered the transplanetic code ; Your canals are yet a riddle, in vain your fires have glowed ! Still, do not let your efforts each August-tide abate— You furnish us with ‘‘ copy,” which maintaios the Fourth Estate! Distixevisnen Vistrors to Bovrwemovru.—The Royal Bath Hotel announces * Private Suites.”” Is ‘‘ General Bitters” there 9 Epvcationat Motto. (For Mr. Acland's use.)—“A place for every child, and every child in its place.”

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL. [Aceusr 11, 1894. i \ Nat w\ ON A CERTAIN CONDESCENSION IN FOREIGNERS. He. “On, you ’R® From AMERICA, ARE you? PEOPLE OFTEN say TO mz, ‘ Don'r you | DISLIKE AmeRicans!’ But I ALWAYs SAY ‘I BELIEVE THERE ARE SOME VERY Nice ovEs | THE poets sing of a Gulden Age. AMONG THEM. | Are we trying to start its fellow ? She. “Au, I DARE SAY THERE MAY BE Two on Taree nice Peorpte amonost Sixty | The Yellow Aster is all the rage ; Mitiions!” “MOWING THEM DOWN!” [He (Sir Writtam Harcourt) confessed that he was not enamoured of these exceptional measures, and he resorted to them with extreme regret. But if he were asked for a justification of this motion, he would refer hon. gentlemen to the Order Book of the House of Commons.”’} Gunner Harcourt, loquatur :-— EXcEPrTionat measures I hate, I'd rather not always be battling ; The good old ** Brown Bess” I prefer, I contess, To a new (Parliamentary) Gatling. To fight in the old-fashioned mts £ Good y, fairly Is more to my ound: te t these cre fellows, I find, Will ost ler a leader be knight y. If Batrovr would only fight fair ; And impose that condition on BARr_er ; If Jor bag not ravage and shriek like a - Tomes’ talk less, and less tartly ; Were Goscuen less eager for scalps, And kept a tight rein u | HANBURY ; Why | bg all right; we’d soon get our fight And ee in ond ~ we ean bury. But no, they ’re like Soudanese blacks, All fury and wild ugly rushes. They shriek and they shock, and they hack and they hock Till chivalry shudders and blushes. And so the machine-gun, i Is just the one thing will quect® em. They ’ve quite lost their head, but a fair rain Played on them will try ’em and test ’em! Whir-r-r-r! Grorce! how it’s mowing them down, Their Advance - guard, —‘* Amendments ”’ they dub them! They swarm thick and thicker. The handle turns quicker ! Tis dreadfal : but then we must drub them. As CouRTNEY 80 gallantly said, ’Tis “* deplorable ” troubles me sorely. But if Eng and Jor won't make terms, fy on know, a wii can’t blame me and Morter! AIRS RESUMPTIVE. Il.—Tae Lryxs or Love. My heart is like a driver-club, That heaves the pellet = and straight, That carries ev et and rub *.. .. whole ormance really great ; heart is like a bulger-head, mn whiffles on the wily tee,— Because my love distinctly said She ’d halve the round of life with me. | | My heart is also like a cleek, Resembling most the mashie sort, | That spanks the object, so to speak, Across the sandy bar to port ; | And hers is like a putting- “7 The haven where I boast to be | For she assures me she is keen To halve the round of life with me. Some wear their hearts upon their sleeve, And others lose ’em on the links ; (This play of words is, by your leave, Rather original, one thinks ;) Therefore my heart is like to some Lost ball that nestles on the lea, Because my love has kindly come To halve the round of life with me. Raise me a bunker, if you can, That beetles o’er a deadly ditch, Where any but the bogey-man Is practically bound to pitch ; Plant me beneath a hedge of thorn, Or up a figurative tree, What matter, when my love has sworn To halve the round of life with me ? THE YELLOW AGE. | The Yellow Races in war engage ; The Primrose League wild war doth wage, as the much-boomed Book in cover and page ke the Age itself is—Yellow. ‘wal Yellow ’s the tint of Gold—and Brass! | Of the Golden Calf—and the Golden Ass! | Of the “livery ” face and the faded leaf, | But ’tis tedious, very, beyond belief. I own I am little inclined to smile On the colour of age, cone and bile And mustard, and € hello ; I'm ti ee iage fe And I feel compelled to cock a snook At the Yellow Primrose, the Yellow Book. Though an Age indeed That runs to seed Is like to run to Yellow! a waNNODH *1a-0a-H LON » JO ANVK «i MON LAGI Wak

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI—Avevst pT ' iN, ; if Ma ; J Hidey il “MOWING THEM DOWN!” Guywer H-re-rt. “* NOT MANY OF °EM LEFT NOW!”

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| Avausr 11, 1894.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 69 ——— EARLY Little Girl (of inquiring mind, to Stud Groom, looking at a Ma Stud Groom. “* Wet, Missy, ne’s onty Five Days oup.” Little Girl (to her Governess’, *‘Ow, Nana, vip J RUN ABOU 4 . 45, WA SG ri y o Y, : Ve TG yj; Sj a PL rs fee b p 4 Wy | ie j rf H ” : ah i LOGIC. ré in feld witt Foal), “ Wow oLp 18 THat Lirrte Horse!” t rae Fietps ween I was Five Days otp?” A LITTLE HOLIDAY. Sunday.—How exhausting is London life! Up late, night and morning. Club, See summer number of illustrated paper. Pictures of pretty girls, reclining in punts, hammocks, or deck-chairs, doing nothiag, men helping them. True holiday for jaded Londoner. Perhaps better withont pretty girls. Even more reposeful. Must get right away. Secluded place. No pretty girls. That tiny inn Jones told me about. Miles from everywhere. Monday.— At Tiny Inn. Fine afternoon. Feel quite happy. With summer clothes, summer numbers, flannels, straw hat, and other suitable things. Seven miles from station. Beautifully clean. Perfectly quiet. Weather changing. Raining. Landlord says, **Soon over.” Eggs and bacon for supper. To bed early. Tuesday.—W ake at five. Upatsix to enjoy morning air. Eggs and bacon for breakfast. Sill raining. Landlord says, *‘ Very remark- able, since in this place it never rains.” Somehow the clouds always pass over neighbouring village, following the course of the river, the ridge of the hills, or something. Have noticed in all country places that the clouds always do this, except when J am there. Im- possible to lounge under a tree in this rain. Stop indoors, smoke, and read summer num Eggs and bacon for lunch. Rain going on steadily. Put on flannels, go out. Drenched. Eggs and bacon for dinner. Landlord says they hope to give me some meat to- morrow. Butcher calls once a week apparently. Wet evening. Somewhat tired of sitting on horsehair sofa with damaged rprings. Know all the summer numbers by heart. To bed at ten. Wednesday.—Wake at four. Toss about till six. Then ‘up. | Still raining. Breakfast,—eggs and bacon. Landlord savsif I cross | two fields I shall find the riverand a punt. Thanks. Will wait till) rain stops. He says it is sure to stop soon. Ask him if one can get | a London paper. Says they sometimes have one at the stationer’s, four miles off, but generally only when ordered. Lends me a local | paper of last week. Reduced to summer numbers again. Begin to) wish there were some pretty girls here, after all. They might enliven | things. After lanch,—of eggs and bacon,—resolve to go out. Ask | landlord where one can go, D m’t like to ask “if any girls about anywhere?” Accidentally landlord does happen to mention Farmer Mvuacertper’s daughters. I pretend indifference, but inquire as to direction of Mueegatper'’s farm. Lose my way. Wander helplessly. Steady downpour. Return, drenched. Butcher has not beer. Eggs and bacon for dinner. Smoke, and read advertisements —plenty of them—in summer numbers. To bed at nine. Thursday.—W ake at three. Toss about till seven. Then break- fast—usual dish. Rain not quite so heavy. With fuller directions as to road, start hopefully for Mcccerince’s farm. Arrive there. Heavy rain again. Mroorriper loafing about. Country people always loaf about in rain. They seem to enjoy it. Chat with him. He asks me in to have some cider. Accept. Chance of seeing charming daughters. They enter! Now! ... Oh! awful!... Cider acid. Obliged to drink it. Harry back. Lunch. Usual dish. Still raining. Call in landlord, and ask eagerly about trains to London. The next is to-morrow morning, at 8.20. Give way to despair. Refuse eggs and bacon for dinner. Bed eight. Friday.—Leave in landlord's cart at seven, after usual breakfast. Still raining steadily. Gave landlord all those summer numbers to amuse future weather-bound visitors with imaginary pictures of rural happiness, London once more! Hurrah! Dinner—nuot eggs and nm. Theatre. Smoke at club. Avoid Jones, Tell Sutra I know the sweetest place for country peace and reclnsion. He writes down the address eagerly. Those summer numbers will amuse him. To bed—any time! At Tue Wispow.—J adging from the tone of James Parn’s delight- ful Note- Book this week, one fears that charming and cheery gossiper has been “laid up,” has been compelled to take his ‘* Notes” from a sick-couch at a window—has, in fact, for the time, become a window- Payy! Well, a window is no coign of vantage for an observant man. ‘‘ The World from a Window” would make an excellent k, and James Payw would be the very man to write it. Let Mr. Payw think of it. Mr. Punch’s present purpose, however, is to wish his good friend and favourite writer vy emancipation from the bonds of sickness and compulsory window- watching.

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Aveusr 11, 1894.

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Avovust 11, 1894.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL ** Rusticus,” who is clearly “Rosticus Exprcrans,” was | moved to write to the Chronicle on July 3ist, to say that, | though not a rich man, he) lives in a pretty Surrey village within an eig oy; return | railway fare of the City ; and | has a fairly la garden, with field, &e. ‘* The} trees are all at their finest,” | he proceeds, *‘ the flowers look- ing very gay and walking in the en.” Capital fun this, when flowers y walk about. But no! it’s * walk- ing in the garden to-day the thought came to me,” so it’s awalking thought, comparable, doubtless, to a running com- mentary. Anyhow, “ Rusti- cus” is moved — bythe thought of a “tired working-man or band of City workers” who would find in his garden plea- sure on a quiet Saturday after- noon—to make an offer. Here are his words :— “T am a bachelor, therefore I | say, men, you are welcome to my very simple hospitality if it is of any use to you. I can do witha limited number every or «ny Saturday. Any creed or class is welcome, All I stipulate for is honest souls. Come and smoke and talk under the trees and spend | a quiet time away from the town. | I simply condition—no publicity | or fuss, the giving and acceptance | of the invitation quietly honestly, | | brother to brother. Would you, | Sir, forward any lettersonto me?” | This is of course an example which will be followed, and Mr. Punch has already had | ‘the follo ter (amongst SATURDAY POPS. others) w he A. prints NEW SERIES, with pleasure. Sra,—Owing to the Death A TOWN MOUSE, Jones. “ WeLu, MY LITTLE MAN, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING apouT!” London Boy (who has never been out of Whitechapel before), ‘‘1'’M THINKIN’ IT’s TIME YER Morser Put YER INTO Trousers!” Duties, Iam no man, but I have a li a ce | you an y hy O, Alll feet ee no ng, for » ng bores as hell. D-v-NsH-RE. | LOWERED! | Raves, rates, rates, OF op caspent S.C. C.! aa”, giad they can't hear e | We utter so Frequentlee! O well for the excellent Chair- man [bit ! For to reduce them a |O well for those Councillors wary {ments”’ sit ! Who on costly ‘ improve- And “‘ demand-notes” still go bled ; on, ’ And our pockets are steadily But **O (we oft sigh) for a tenpenny rate, And the sins of a ‘ Board’ that is dead!” Rates, rates, rates | Thanks, men of the L.C.C,! We trust the farthing now taken Will never go back to ye! | “APTER THE HEALTH CONGRESS IS OVER.” Scensr—A Ball Room at the Mansion IIouse. | He (resting). Good floor, isn’t it ? the evening. She. But do let us talk about the Congress. Did you not discuss | is increasing, and, at least, sanitation ? He. Discussed it very much indeed. had the meeting before everybody had left town. ut did you not inquire into microbes and all that ? about them, and finished them all pected corners upon elderly gentlemen, ecatteri | passengers at sound of fearsome Tomay B. got his eyeon him. Not without ure has something to do with old, now d, campaign Tommy warned the Squire whilst in Com- mittee that his Death Duties would not reap the full harvest antici- What with actual concussions and She. Yes. He. Certainly ; had a lot of perfect health ? He, That was the idea, and yet we floored Lords and the Oval. She. But oughtn’t every town to be in a satisfactory condition ? He. Why, yes. But thatd | course, some places are deadly dull when nothing ’s going on from a sudden i P aw considerable succession of property changing on sudden death, with | social point of view. up just in time not to interfere with Good wood. She. And I suppose you found out the way to keep everyone in| Bill, and, incidentally, | time to turn his attention to another were goi affection and esteem of British the hapless rider or B |way. In crowd new against the Budget. upon the season of the year. Of | pated. Ev little helps. ath : Ss ights, Bicycle Fiend leads She. | mean from a health point of view—oughtn’t everything concurrent toll paid to Treasury. If sy - to be simply excellent ? He. Yes, urse. That’s the modern theory. She. And yet, according to the papers, London is full of fever and with it of co’ insanit He. Tdesene ; the Press men generall their figures right. _ restraining a nuisance that is a disgrace to a ci | She. But if, theoretically, everything 1 Sent, why should most | things be practically wron | He. You must ile She. But you are st rong upon He. Very—in the lecture-room. And will have another turn. me another. on same footing as the common carrier, or Leceae-aeb driver, the death-rate would appreciably decrease, and the flow of legacy and succession duties, |may not look thus far ahead. No matter, if he only succeeds in . which makes him to by health, are not ? | this agency. Sark says when mod ng you are rested, wo | Geode eaaleun ith or ons [ Exreunt dancing. | the ti of ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. HIouse of Commons, Monday, July 30.—Having settled Budget : brought Cuancettor or Excnrever to | She. Quite. But tell me, have you been attending the Congress’ | Death’s Door by observations on Death Duties, Tommy Bow es has He. Of course; that is why I received an invitation to-night. She. And you found the lectures and all that most interesting ? : to take the > p Fiend by the scruff of the neck. He. Yes, very ; and then there were the Opera and the theatres in | Herein he opportunity i larging his hold fie. oe ‘end bas inesnedll ought to be : jan in quiet country lanes, brushing him So fortunate too that we | aside as if the earth were the Fiend’s and all the highways thereof. ad enough in the country, where there is room to get out of the ed streets of metropolis, Fiend pounces round unsus- The Member for Sank tells me he has a Short Way with the B. F., i i extent indifferent to slower action of Home Secretary, who has evidently never had his shins barked takes his walks abroad he brella. When, crossing a road, he hears the Fiend’s bell, insolently and imperatively ordering social question. Looks as if he Sicycle Fiend regis He comes u streams of peaceful ion that this in course of financial year to the Bicycle Fiend can cally be oMMY may or

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. ' [Aveust 11, 1894. him out of the way on pain of being run over, he, instead of fly- ing for his life, as is the use of the ordinary citizen, carelessly throws stick or umbrella lance-wise across hollow of right or left arm, accord- ing as the Fiend approaches from one direction or the other. Thus armed he leisurely pursues his way. If the Fiend continues on the aah he will run with face or chest on to the point of the umbrella. As that would be inconvenient to him, he slows up or goes on another tack, and when fe arrives home writes a letter to the Bicycling Bister, indignantly denouncing a street passenger who wouldn't get out of his way. Busine «s done.— V ote on Account through Committee. Tuesday.—"* Paixce Axtavr,” said Sark, looking across at the Front Opposition Bench whilst CouRTNEY was speaking, ** succeeds in hiding all traces of storm behind a smiling countenance. Josern, on the contrary, more ingenuons, less acute in practice of worldly wiles, enables one to realise, even at this long distance of time, what Batak, the son of Zirvor, King of Moab, looked like when he stood in the high places of Baal, and lis- tened to Bataam's remarks on the motion for the time-closure to be applied to the Children of Israel, who had pitched their tents in the plains of Moab beyond the Jordan at Jericho, and declined to budge at the bidding of Batak.” Appearance of Parliamentary | ,.4. BataaM on scene dramatically — effective. Crowded House worked up to highest pitch of excitement | by swift encounter, in which Jomw Mon tey had followed Prryce Axuruvr, and Josern, springing in from behind, had clouted the| Curer SecRETARY on the Read. The Sevurre had moved time- closure on Evicted Tenants Bill in speech the studied tameness and wovoking brevity of which had riled Opposition much more than if he Red belaboured them with Harcourtian phrase. Sack or QuEEN Anwe’s Gate said a few words, preparatory to packing up for holiday ; then CovaTwey rose from Josern’s side to continue debate. | Members, taking it for granted that he, possibly with some reserva- | tions in favour of Eviction Bill whose second reading he had sup- ported, was about to say ditto to Joseru on question of Closure, began to move towards door. Arrested by Covrtwery's solemn tone, and his expression of regret, evidently unfeigned, at deplorable condition in which the House found itself. ‘Woe to those through whom !” cried Courtwry in voice which, as he said, was of “a needn’t be frightened of Aim. the Commons now ! ed See how you get on there! | offences come ! one crying in the wilderness, and seemed for its perfect effect to lack only hirsute garb, stave and honeypot. ‘‘ Through whom did the} offence come’ Surely,” continued the Prophet, bending shaggy > brows upon the bench where the Busy Bs hive, *‘ the offence lies with those Members who, disregarding the true uses, functions, | | duties, and high mission of the House, abuse their powers, intent to | | destroy possibility of the right conduct of public business.” Not Ministers, then, with the Seurae at their head, responsible forthe | deadlock, as Parnce Arntucr had painted the scene, and as JosEra | had touched it up with stronger colour. It was the Busy Bees. | | They and “‘a junta of irresponsible landlords enforcing their will upon those who ought to resist them.” O Bataam! Bataam! M.P. for Bodmin. Was it f.r this Joszrn | | led thee into the field of Zophim, to the top of Pisgah’ For this did |, Psixce Artavr build seven altars, and offer up the Squire or Mat- woop on every one of them? Long time since such a scene was wrought in the House. Saunpexson pished and pshawed, and | looked anxiously round for Logan. Barrier blushed; Hansvry was hushed; and a tear trickled down the pale cheek of Tommy BowLes Capen no longer, disrated and denounced. Business done.—Time-Closure resolution carried. Thursday.— Such larks! Yesterday time-closure came into opera- tion in connection with Evicted Tenants Bill. Arranged that if debate on Clause I. not finished by eleven o’clock to-night, all Amendments remaining on paper shall be submitted to vote without further debate. Obstruction seotched ; wriggles helplessly, like eel in muddy depths of river, smitten by the spear. THE CARSON BANSHEE. John Morley. “ You see it’s all right, my little man. I told you you . . ib was oni bio pepen. ean't be done to reduce numbers Come along, and I'll leave you at. the door of the ‘*Shan’t play,” whimper Paice ArTuur and JosEpPn, n g their tears at this fr c of tyranny, this last illustration of man’sinhumanitytoman. — \\ _ Strike ordered in Unionist lines. \ Men throw down the pick ; hand in the shovel and the hoe; put on their coats; hang about corners of i in approved strike fashion. If Hawsury and the Blameless Banr- Ley could only be induced to stick * short clay pipe in side of mouth (bowl downwards), fasten a leather strap outside their trousers just below the knee, and drink four- out of pewters at bar in the Lobby, scene would be complete. Strike only partial. Fully one half the men refuse to go out; stand by the masters, tu deaf ear a eadiipent and threats of pickets outside. Strange thing is that, working at half strength, output more than doubled. Time- closure, with all hands at work, propgeed to complete Committee y eleven o'clock next Tuesday > night, At ten minutes six “ this afternoon the w { through. Not hurried either. Thoroughly debated, divided on, and Bill, in more than one instance, am e “Fact is,” said the Saurme, beaming with chastened delight at turn events taken, ‘we are over- macned just as London is over- cabhed. Must see if something We 're through by refusing licenses fur fresh tions when vacancies - Business done, — Evicted Tenants Bill through Committee. Building Societies Bill far advanced. Friday.—Back in the mud again. Strike operative only when Evicted Tenants Bill under consideration. That standing over now for Report Stage. Meanwhile take up again Equalisation of Rates Bill. Men on strike stream in, tired of “playing.” _ their eagerness to get to work again, their keen delight in sound of thir own voices, so strangely intermitted. Barrier, Kiser, Fisner, Joxim, and the Wootwicn Iwrant all here again, with Wenssrer (of St. Pancras) wobbling all over the place, ike a hen that has laid an egg somewhere and can't for the life of her just at the minute think where she left it. Business done.—Hardly any. As Bartvey says, ‘‘ must make up for lost time when yesterday and day befure work advanced by leaps and bounds,” CryprocramMatist Wantep. — After a plain matter-of-fact raph in the Dail Telegraph, stating that ‘‘ Lord GreviLte eaves town to-day for Hessegete ’ (to undergo the “ tonic sul-phur” cure, of course, #.e., of water-course), there soqentes this mysterious announcement, “‘ Lord Rowrow leaves Lon to-day for some weeks.” Now where is “* some weeks”? Of course as his Lordship has quitted town for ** some weeks,” he evidently ers ** some weeks,” wherever it is, to London. And that is we know at present. Strange disappearance. Weird. Tue Coster Kyiont.—There are pictures on almost all the oardings, in the suburbs especially, of the celebrated Mr. ALBERT Cuevalier. This chevalier “sans peur et sans reproche” is 0 basy a man that in the best sense of the term he may well be con- sidered as the type of an honest ‘ Chevalier d’ Industrie.” Qveny.—‘* The Lancashire Rubber Company”—is this some- thing new in the way of Massage? or is it a Company got up for the express purpose of supplying Society with Whist-players ? Tue Laresr Mape or Honour at Ricewonp,—Sir James W. Sziumrer, Knight.

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RSom i] y, er- nen | Ow ‘of | the -ERT s 80 bon- me- » for PUNCH, OR THE LONDO.¢ CHARIVARI—Avevsr 11, 1894 —_——-—— OF ALL DEALERS. Martell’s eg ab Brandy. nNOTTLED IN COGNAC. bé ” Cc. O. M. Matt. Curious Ou ‘lhe finest type of DUBLIN WHISKY obtainable. Over 50 years’ established reputation. Cases of 1 doz. bottles free to all Railway Stations on receipt of 50s. ANDREWS & CO., DAME 8T., DUBLIN, Eole Proprietors of the Cc. O. M, Brand. T.ondon Office— 12, Joux Sraeet, Ave.rut. FRERES’ | FIRST QUALITY | CHAMPAGNE. EERINCS Se MEDAL pea -Gerny Branpy. The Best liqueur GOLD PENS from 4s. each. GOLD PENS THE ONLY PERFECT DIPPING PEN. GOLD PENS GOLD AXD IRIDIUM POINTED. OLD PENS SUITABLE FOR ANY HOLDER. OLD PENS LVERLASTING IN WEAR. GOLD PENS IMPROVES THE HANDWRITING. PENS A POSITIVE CURE FOR WRITER'S CRAMr GOLD PENS SECURES REGULARITY OF WHITING. TO SUIT EVERY HAND AND STYLE. Lover ano Parcs Last on seriicarion MAnIE, TODD, & BAKD, Manufactarers of Gold Vens and * omg” x Pens, %, Curarsivr, los ven, soext Sracer, W ‘Established 184d.) MADS nd ” trigeadiily End). CASCARA-HAWLEY Tasteless Lazative, for Ladies, Children, &c., 1s. 144. and ds. 64. CURES CONSTIPATION. Savars Cubeb Cigareties, 1s. and 2s. 6d. Savaresse’s Sandal Oil Capaules, 4s. 6d. Gold Medals, Paris, 1878: 1889. JOSEPH GILLOTTS Of Highest Quality, and Having Greatest Durability, are Therefore CHEAPEST. Continue to be supplied to Her Majesty the Queen. CARKIAGE PAID TO ANY ANDRESS IF ORDERBD THROUGH ONE OF THER AGENTS OF THE COMPANY. KODAK A LAXATIVE, REFRESHING FRUIT LOZENCE, VERY ACREEABLE TO TAKE. CONSTIPATION, Hemorrhoids. Bile, Loss | N DI BE N of Appetite, Gastric and Headache. GRILLON. London: 47, Southwark Street, 8.E. Osborne, Bauer, & Cheeseman’s 6,0 ign M icimes " INCOMPARABLE fi ¥ AS SUPPLIED TO THE QUEEN. The Perfume is Specially Distilled for these Salts. Irvalusblein Hot Assemblies. Alwa sRetreahing iyi cee a I A M A R IP Intestinal Troubles, SOLD BY ALL CHEMIST: SA ND DRUGGISTS. 2a. GA. A POX, TS." SMELLING SALTS. d Of Great Value in tae Sick or post free (for Stamps) from bole Nancibeture rs, » oi sort d — wuss PtAs Actions Ae ae System OSBORNE, BAUER, & CHEESEMAN, | Are for Sale, Mire, and on the Three Years’ & Sol Ay tors of & Honey Jel! ee, & € 40OHN KKINSMEAD & BONS, = y= =. Meoust oranen,'W ‘ | 16, 20, and 22, Wicomons Sracet, Loxpon, Ww ae VR. - ~ ~~" * 7" RY “ap sete La ee ee sf st ‘ se ‘tessa eet? VY. > «2 * “tmsseawsnnen Sold only in !-ounce Packets, and 2, 4. 8 ounce, and |-Ib. Tins, which keep the Tobacco im Sine smoking condition. Ask at all Tobacco Sellers’, Stores, &c., and take no other. SMOKERS ARE CAUTIONED ACAINST IMITATIONS. The Genuine bears the Trade-Mark, “ Nottingham Castle,” on every Packet and Tin. PLAYER'S WAVY CUT CICARETTES, in Packets and Tins only, containing 12, 24, 60, and 100. The following extract from the “ Review or Reviews,” Nov., 1800, is of interest to every Smoker: ean PIPE 1% THE WOKKHOUSE. —The picture drawn by our Heiper of the poor old man ia the , peas ewe at an empty pipe, has touched the hearts of some of our en te ane igh Al ps, and signs himeelf * Old Screw.” says: “ 1 have been struck with your im the October Bum ver vr of the kayire or Keviews for e seneme to suppiy smokers in union Wor With totecso. | am So strald, judged by the ordinary standards. | am om ths must seiteh of mortals, as 1 re © cunt Otero ps purposes of so-called charity. but this scheme of yours appeais at onee Wo tae i ses ofa inveterate smoker. Were | in London, | would at once start collecting box | tor and ie easetbusions for it om My smoking acquaintances, but, yos my vusness | compete me to be Tcoptrivuts s pound of wast 1 comaet tae BAST i fo" comtrivuce & pound of what i T ' ‘PLAYER'S RA CUT’ (this is not an advertisement). I therefore, a cneque for the jin p :| JouN Bi BRINSMEAD | & SONS’ These fan ous hand or tripod cameras, whilst embodying the most advanced ideas in camera construction, are the simplest and most compact Photographic ins.ru ments made ually suitable for boy or girl, novice ography, or photographic expert. From 1 to soo pictures can be made without recharge. Strongly recommended by travellers in all parts of the globe Prices from £1: 6:0 to £22:1 _Mlustrated Catalogue free on application. Manufactured solely by EASTMAN Photographic Materials Co. Ltd., 116-117 OXPORD ST., LONDON. PARIS: 4 Place Vendome. SUPREME! CLARKE, NICKOLLS & COOMBS’ (Lap.) CARAMELS (* Milk.”’ “Cream,” and “ British Standard” Brands) ARE UNRIVALLED. Aut Ur-ro-Dars Conrec TION ERS Be L Tuem, RIMMEL’S (viens TOILET sons 'uracinire VINEGAR fone no See New and Nas for over Mair a for the handkerchief fold Kvery where Cavtion —Note heme and trade mark on all goods r | panrearrine i 9 iv Fue Bisco —” We have seen le who have received | meee t Beneat trom the use of Clarke's Blood | Mixture. it cannot be too ly estimated, fr. m all im from © ow + 9 Clarke s Blood Mixture is sold every * at te Od — Beware of worthlews (OUR CHI oR how ever, Go a litte, | aoxixe TOBACCO, vis. | amvuuat. 'D' RIDGES PATENT COOKED F00

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL —Aveost i, 1894. when all are rejecte ad. » ~~ = Fe wxla t is , inguiasile.’ London Medical Record. FOOD For INFANTS Benger’s Food is sold At 1/6, 2/6, 5/-, and 10/-, by all Chemists, &c. “GOLD MEDAL InrexnationaL Heauta Exutsition, Lonpon. INVALIDS AND THE AGED DISINFECT AT CNCE Jit NON- pest DISINFECTANT, And defend your virulence of the dread Epidemics of smal - Pox PHTNERIA CHOLERA, FEVERS, and other INFECTIOUS DISEASES in every household, schoo!, institute, and om hime . sinks, traps, wc 6, drains, gutters, and ver ¢ odours, can be flashed of fractional cost, a 4 bottle oh te a handy size for family ase meking © me of powe = | germ destroying, reliable disinfectant IZ AL. Non potsonous Disinfectant is sold in bottles at ls, 2s. 6d, and t+, Gd also in tins, at 10s. A sample > te ttle of tin sent ge paid » She vt nited Kingdom, for postal order _ Izal Rules for iiieiw tion will be sent free by the Sole ac * TUN CHAMBERS & CO Lid , THORNCLIFPR, ECZEMA With all its Terrible Irrita- tion and Horrible Dis- figurement cured by HOMOCEA which Touches THE SPOT at Once. The } J. WHALAMS SUTORER, 3 r ark Re pad Rast Birke y great pleasure in com ing with ¥ sa | im pattie = & ostlins what 3 have ave rady said by word of mouth l was much inconvenienced by a very irritating pecies of Rezema. Several remedies that I have tried failed to © me more than « very temporary relief. I finally tried lomocea, With happtest results + relief was almost instan ne vint, — om thing effect mained, and a complete cure reeu Yours tru 7 WILLIAMS hl TCHER ; * Homoces” ts sold by most Chemists at is 1)4 and 2 O84 per & \\ box, or sent free {wi 4, TR oS pie!) Se ae the “ Homeces " Co Hamilton Birkenhead Hooper. & Chemist 43 King William Street London Bridge _EC., sells it | C. Brandauer & Co's Circular-Pointed Pens. SEVEN PRIZE MEDALS. Series of Bi I'ens Write as Smoothly as a Lead Pencil. Neither Feratch nor Spurt, the points being rounded by a special process. Assorted Fample Box for 7 stamps from the Works, BIRMINGHAM bright and clear, and the Skin | “ Matchless for the hands and complexion,” tind ee AKES the Hands white and fair, the Complexion | soft and smooth as velvet. “The name Cadbury on any packet of Cocoa of is a guarantee C. Medical Annual. “The typical Cocoa of English Manufac- ture, Absolutely Pure.”’ The Analyst. ———a Road, Holloway, in the Parish of St. Mary, Islington, in the © win the (ity of London, and published by him at No. 65, Fleet afria: Frated by W illiam Stuart Smith, of No 3, Loraine Lombard Street, in the Fre of Wh essrs. Bradbury, Anew. & Co., Limited, Li, te oe,