Punch 1894-06-09: Vol 106 Iss 2761

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| ack number contains on an average from 70 to 80 of the best of the Pictures and Sketches which have appeared FROM in “PUNCH,” in which all its famous artists are represented: . 7 Doyle, Leech, Keene, Tenniel, Du Maurier, Sambourne, Nos, 1 to 9 Now Ready. > Reed, Partridge, Atkinson, Corbould, and many others. PRICE SIXPENCE EACH. a AA Be * ‘ ~ . — \ | WA WZAT J “GU - ) -* Registered at the General Post Office as a Newspaper. VERY SATURDAY. PUBLISHE “~e™ 2269.3) reo SSE Sais, SP aos: PRICE THREE PENCE. ae = _ AJ |i mt i ‘ Wie i po ‘ SS _. er 7 7 fi | U s j » = gf me | Gol cy hin Is a We Wi 4 qi) Ri “Z| wy ye RON i Bale AA DAE SLA aes ALT Nie \ \e «' | i = > 7 op 4, haY 1 si \\{h | ' | 1 ‘ \ : " S) | }| @ > HY “14 "] f ‘ AD Weg\ oy PUNCH OFFICE, 85, FLEET STREET, “~~~ ‘Gaye oly y | | LONDOY. . CHOCOLAT MENIER »{«

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JUST PUBLISHED. AT ALL LIBRARIES AND BOOKSELLERS Demy 8vo, cloth gilt, 6 FALLEN ANGELS. By One of Them. Leadon GAY & BIRD, 5, Chandos Street, Strand MISR BRANPDON'S NEW NOVEL On Jone 2, in 3 Vote. ; at all Libraries THOU ART THE MAN. A Novel, by the Author of” Lady Audicy 6 Secret, “ Viaen, All Along the River,” &c., & London: SIMPKIN & CO, Lro EPPS’S COCOA-NIB EXTRACT. TEA-LIKE. A thin beverage of full flavour now with tmeany beneficially taking the place « of tea. Tie active principle being a gentle nerve @imulant, supplies the needed energy with- out unduly exciting the system. Boece um Tecaers ano Trove ot Onocens, Laveiisn JAMES EPPS & CO., Ltd., TIDMAN'S SEA SALT CAUTION. Beware of worthless and injurious imitations, not Bea Halt at all, but common roug t, used In Making caustic alkali, —: os ——_ img them are liable te pr » avoid such oubst tutes, ask for’ TipMaN AN . ‘SEA gai T JOHN BI BRINSMEAD & & SONS’ SOSTENENTE Tron ( onsolidated Frames, Pace eek - y- a Are for Sale, Hire, and om the Three Years’ System J00N HRINSMEAD & SONS, M4, 2%, and 7, Wreness Grace, Lon pom, w. The Medical Profession strongly recommend SALUTARIS WATER A pure distilled water, prepa by a special process, and highly changed with carbonic acid gas. SALUTARIS 2%. Fulham Road, Londes COCOAINE. Momaopathic Chemists, London. | PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL —JUNE 9, 1894. # EXCELLENT—OF GREAT VALUE.” Lancet, dune 15, 1889. | PEPTONIZED eaten) COCOA & MILK. Most Delicious, Nutritious, & requiring no digestive effort. Tins 2/G. Half-Tins SAVORY & MOORE, (Samples) 1/6. LONDON. ONE OF THE MOST ECONOMICAL FIRST-CLASS HOTELS IN THE KINGDoy ROYAL MILITARY TOURNAMENT. Patron—HER MAJESTY THE QUFEN, ask & Ly arUumMs, {F » asuens *r > TURKISH PASTILS yo ok all mo travels few things as tomished see the Beauties of the - Ay cmeking Narghilés at Stam bral ee a sweet aromatic Ln [ MAPPIN & WEBB'S TABLE KNIVES. who admire a* Breath of Flowers” should takes Pastil nightand morning SAMUEL BROTHERS. SCHOOL OUTFITS. our SAMUEL BROTHERS respect fully invitean inepection of their Showrooms by Varents and Guardians who are desirous of Out- Siting their Juvenile cha for any of the Public or Private Col leges, Schools, &@c. The requirements of Youths and HKoys have for very many years engaged the eh —, of Mesere AMUEL HROTHERS vith the result that this sree ent Depestment at heir rs py A DIAMOND ORNAMENTS. The Choicest Quality in the World. COLDSMITHS COMPANY, Show Rooms: [12, REGENT ST., W. (Anso1n ine ) Srasssecerss Comranr.) INDISPENSABLE TOILET iF Coating to TOILET fully met, and durable | “ NESSARI”™ and “ RL UBH nos ROSE.” unrivalled Perfumes for the handkerchief. and Paris. Sold Ev qualities ensured where. over Hatr « RIMMEL’S gre'g cninet that ft want in N bey mag J My tmen Baits, ererceste. Vi EGAR 223k. (inet * on ont) ACRICULTU! gates 2 - nd 7 = x. “4 TOM, Numbered and ee oy wah t- "Shining ORIENT COMPANY'S YACHIINC CRUISES by ¢ oe Srameiivs SARORD me tons register, and LUSITANIA, 4,477 tons register, leaving London as under — Dick two days later — For the NORWAY FiOKDS, i3th June for 2 days. 28th June for 29 days ; ~~ for days; ist Aur for 33 days; Zind Aug Ke String band, | electric light, e'ectric bells, and cod baths, high-class cuisine Managers: re 4 ireen and Co, and pasa. a oS Co. Head « | 'enchurch Avenue. For passage app! the latter firm, at 5, Fenchurch Avenue B et A | the West End branch Office, 16, Soobaper St, "a A FRAISINE, PREPARED rom are ter Bn ernaw KERRIES, In dull Gold a Hoxes, post free, ls. 2d FRANKS & (©0., &, Eastcnnar, Lowpos, B.C RANSOMES’ by — and the Prines of Wales. First Prize in com tion at the “Brox.” PATTERNS == Cavtios.—Note name and trade on all goods. -- CATALOGUE free (Jacket a Vest. , an For boy of 8 years, 1%/- Trousers, & SAMUEL BROTHERS, Meacnanr Tatrons, Ovrrirrens, &c., |65 & 67, LUDCATE HILL, LONDON, E.C. Workshops: Pilgrim Street, Ludgate Hill ; and 46, Gray's Inn Road, Fopaccomsere COMMENXC ING pone fo sito fe Ma. Guide es), q? to | Kespecta Ll py ee tating Ce 186, Euston , London eer, Mr -Mrene. Hot. leas. rBmoke Pick me me- -up Cigarettes. HOWARD BEDFORD HORSE RAKES. |), isroonm - LONI ON AND LIVERPOOL. HOOPING COUGH, CROUP. ROCHE’S TION. The celebrated effectual cure without interna! medicine. Sole Wholesale Agents, W. Kowsnos & Son, 167, Queen Victoria Street, —.. TATLEE-IZ CIGARETTES. FINEST TURKISH BLEND. TO SMOKERS. of exquisite favour and ** Cohnoisseurs ronounce them better ay Havannahs.”—W oar, jee. 4, 160). Noxes of 100, 22s. and 2s. (two sizes,. ham ples: (4and 5), \s., post free !2 stamps. aewt es. | 49 & 74, Strand, & 143, Cheapside, London. Est.! | MERCUKIAL The BEST and TICLE CLEANING SILVER, RLECT RO PLATE, &c SIX GOLD a Sold everywhere, in Hoxes, is, 2s ~ and és. 6d. FLOR DE DINDIGUL, ixititstscxie last Horticul tural Exhibition, i Used in the Porte and Public LAWN MOWERS THE BEST in the WORLD “New Avromate nm “ Cuam Avromaros, “ Ano.o-Pani, « Wont,” “Pont axo Honst-Powrn™ Mowens, in all sizes to suit every uirement. All Machines sent on s Month's Pree Trial, and Carriage Paid. Supplied by all Ironmongers. RANSOMES, SIMS & JEFFERIES, 14., Ipswich. MACASSAR OIL Nourishes and Preserves the Hair, makes it Soft and Silky, and is the Best BRILLIANTINE being not too greasy ally suited for Ladies’ pet iy, sees Hair; bottles, 3s. 6d.; 7s.; 108. 64. ODONTO Preece. ,weetens the Breath & everywher?. Keelet o— Sus gold. Fifty different vareeties £5.1.0 Goldsmith. iaidox Lapida. 18 NewBond St London > ‘OXFORD.-MITRE HOTEL, ee.

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Jung 9, 1894.} PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL.

265

MANNERS AND CUSTOMS. (Being a Series of Private Letters on these and other Subjects.) | No. V.—From Captain THe How. Haroup Maypew, Navat anp Mitt- rary CLUB, TO THE Hon. Vicror Marpvew, Hore. Mevnrice, Paris. January Ath, 189—. I went round to ae diggings to-day to have a talk with | them, and he’s My pear Ovp Cuap, ad gone to Paris ’t a notion you were you, and was told yom. going. Rann didn't you tell me? I should | have enjoye nothing better than to Tan's | you. Look here, Vicror, you ’ve rattling good brother to me, ye you ’ve was in a come to you in my difficulties. It’s the old story. I’ve a fool, a tremendous fool, and now I’m brought up against a brick wall, and don’t know how to get over it. I can see you start when you read this, ‘* Why,” to yourself, ‘‘ the more than a couple time to turn round, ond here he is sin the old song which every- body thou ht ad forgotten.” I give A my word I’m nl myself when I think of it. Nobody was surer than I was that that blessed song had gone out of my head, words and music, never to come back again. Well, to make a long story short, here’s what has happened. It’s money, of course— tell you now, been bae though I’m hanged if I + x7 what is When I left Eng- had a vague sort of notion I had got square, settle] everything and everybody, and got my new leaf staring me in the face. Of One never has. There’s always some sentence in the old leaves that requires your attention, and you’ve got to i back and go through it allagain. Any- how, letters and bills came popping es mir, where couldn’t even use them as pipe-lights, having lost one pipe and broken the other. However, | they didn’t trouble me much till I got back | here two months ago. en I began to reckon just for the fun of the thing, -— ey mounted to what’s called a them u found t spostable total—£550, not a penny less, Since then I’ve managed | to heap up another £800, racing and

an plunger, that, ou’re in the

Moss Abrahams. card-playing, complicated |with Moss Apranuams, that infernal soapy-voiced, hypocritical little Jew money-tout, I daresay beast: he’s always seiner gem d agreeable, such a deuce of a gay, light-hearted, oodles be beggar l ‘ound out that my prospects aren’t quite so ane show ° Sa course pretends that he himself I hope you’ ll have a good time in Paris, es you feel as if you were standing under a clear blue ao eky. By Jove! when you meet a gist like that at, you begin to recognise what horrors some of Ever your affectionate brother, HaRoxp. oily-faced, you know the the to be so ext he actuall takes you in for a utches, bit until en the trouble ns. He’s good = thought wouldn’t be is ble for millions, but that the matter got partly out of his hands, and that he him is any amount hard up, and doesn’t know where to turn y hey bi a me au = game +7 nyhow, I’m certain the brute ban f renew even if I asked him—which I shan’t, My dear old Victor, will you help a lame dog over a stile. I know I "ve no right to ask you, and if you say you can’t do it— why I shall know you can’t, ou needn’t trouble to give me any reasons. But I don’t % dear old Governor again He’s ill, and, if I can possibly help it, I don’t want to make him worse with my follies, You'll say I ought to have thought of all that before. Quite true, so I ought, and no- ae: that now better than I do. But I you, } Yupee. | I’m sick and tired of this business, of Ge gus ot of “~ pat o> and painted ht and would-be smart e, °"T don’t thi it’s tease of when the dev was sck, &. _? really mean to chuck the whole con never pick it u ap coun. But you inow ~ Ee a fellow feels like when he’s got a mill-stone round his neck in the shape of accumulated debts. He plunges, and aa enough he goes deeper and d There you are. If Te ry sive am a lift ae canteens ms titude Se sentences a gra’ e; " in w that, come what may, nothing can ever alter our friendship. It was awfully nice, seeing so much of you at the Biacpens, What a nice girl that Lucy Bexkecey is—so cheery and t and ht! not to speak of her pretty face, which

| of ** bait.” | be THE CAB STRIKE. (By a Pedestrian.) Across the streets I walk, serene, No need to thread my way between Those lines of crawlers, now unseen, There isn’t one. No Sybaritic Hansoms make One’s walk n lected—great mistake— No growlers all one’s system shake, There isn’t one, No rushing Hansoms threaten me With instant death, no need to be Afraid of them, so fast and free, ere isn’t one. Hullo! A drop of rain? Is black. I shall be , il Jat why ! P| I'll take a Hansom home. Not I! There isn't one.

Q. Wuo is likely to be less incommoded | by a cab-strike than > one else? The | angler.—Q. Because? A. Because <.. seldom goes out without a lot of “ flies” and plenty |

ComparaTIve.— For the Derby hope it will an Ep-sommer ow & thea it’s 's been lately.

TO CHLORIS, ENRHEUMED. Au, Cenasee| see, the year’s half-dead, ing skies eplore Those ‘little oes, too thin to tread The Spring's enamelled floor. For fell Catarrh, in Pluto's wake, Whipp’d up his roarin ee A fairer Proserpine to t In no Sicilian meads, The baffled tyrant, harsh and chill, Your roma cannot mar. That beams with a pure splendour still Like the white morning star. His triumph fails, while calm and clear Your brown eyes brighter shine, Too proud to shed the unbidden tear, No fretful Proserpine. A court you hold for kith and kin, Nor lack for court! You pretty pearl or ald Widen i in A nest of eider down. Ah, may your love's bright sunshine Anvi chill disdain depart Ea at teal head, That rt ran in pur nt

LINES IN PLEASANT PLACES, IL.—Inw a Fourn-Wuee.en. Saxe, shake, shake, Oh! ‘growler with ancient gee And I must, without soaalion, ‘utter, The thoughts that occur to me. O well for the Hansom cabs With their rubber smooth-going tyres ! O well for the springs, And their horses are sometimes flyers! And the sates buses roll From th ank”’ to far Notting-hill ; But O for = liver you ’ve shaken up, And the rooms doctor's bill ! Growl, growl, Cabby, growl on _= box full free ; But your caustic remarks on your ‘‘ le are Will not get a “‘ rise” out of me.

Mrs. B, sido Otns, “T met a very high legal authori y—a remarka ate pee, By | ot 9 partys, remerkalty t told me he was a * puny Tedaet? We Wel, he _-- Le —-t. feet e was an in Bu | to his intellect.”

VOL, CVI,

= AA

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[June 9, 1894. CHARIVARI. PUNCH, OR THE LONDON ’ Ui? s \ \ \\\' \ (QU \\\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ Ld \ Y Y/f Le NY —— Herr Harcourt (: — HEM try, ~ — i hi | ] ' | | abe : Yj I | : ! Ny ] Uf MY; v7 Mh f Mh 4 \ » : . 4 | . { THE BUDGET BULLET-PROOF CUIRASS. chibiting his new invention), ‘‘SHoor Away, GENTLEMEN! IT MAKEs NO IMPRESSION ON MF,”

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June 9, 1894.) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. GIVING HIMSELF AWAY. Weak-minded and Inexperienced Chappie (on Bow-seat of Coach, to Coster with Donkey). “‘H-naw! He-naw !” Coster (Irish). ‘‘SHuRE, THIN, YE SPAKE THE LANGUAGE TO PERFECTION, Sor!” BEFORE THE RACE AND AFTER. TO MELENDA, (A Parliamentary Fragment for the 6th of June, 1894.) (A Regretful Reproach.) TueEy were in consultation behind the Speaker’s Chair, and it was w see: three o'clock or thereabouts. They had their hands full of papers, A eer eee Thiel capital of Feanea, and anxiety was on all their brows. It was a moment of intense in- And ’twas yourself who danced so charmingly terest, of overwhelming doubt. A pretty dance, “*T can quite appreciate that infected | : ¢ . cattle imported from abroad must be most | You took me blindly captive with your glance, injurious to the agricultural interest at | I was your slave, who ’d boasted he was free, home,” said one of the Ministers; ‘** but Delighted when I made the least advance what has that to do with the chances of In your sweet favours. How comes it to be Bullingdon beyond that the first syllable Your smiles have now made way for looks askance ? of the name is distinctly suggestive of Oh, tell me this—were you just leading me ccess,”” A pretty dance ? ‘*T do not believe in omens nor yet in —a— poe ed whoo Tae Someruive rv Nawes,—In conjunction with another defendant, the fact that when Mr. Lowe was Chan- | °ne Frep Stanton, a Miss Vena Hore, was charged at Bow Street, the Exchequer his financial | remand, with obtaining money by falsely ey to provide arrangements were jeopardised by a strike | Young women with theatrical ea Both VERA and of match girls, inclines me to eve that | ‘ Hore” are attractive names. “VERA” suggests Veraci , those who supported Matchbox in spite and, without ‘‘ Hope,” how im ble would be ev: ng in ! all a ces did not act entirely But, in this instance, ‘‘ Hope” seems to have “‘ told a flattering unreasonably. That is my contention, | tale,” and thereby bade farewell to joy! and yy ly ,& matter even more thought than I have disposed upon the t ties,”’ P . . ‘ —— ‘The cavalry manwuvres this year, as I have already said, will be Mas. R. thinks the tight Baring reins to be seen in = most interesting,” put in a Minister of military : ; “and the Pan cummage-hangse me ed ny ape cose pee Bnew oo ty department naturally dens with all matters quesriany 1) Me, Bansve wat, bat be meh ely a ree dogs and ice Fx pd vere ae at accorded to the claims of Galloping hisname tothem. Mrs. R. says she often longs to write anomalous “T fanoy it will not be contested that since I have influenced the | letters of protest to some of the people whose beautiful horses are Irish Government from the lodge of the Chief Secretary,” observed | * “ehtly gage Taek. pp ntl hme he gy ply = pe = dy Dee P 2. by Mrs. W.K.C os of p . §8o, withou aos su itious, I can apologies for| New xs.—A Gre omance, rs, W. K. Currroxp, the deep interest I took in ene at one period of its career.” be followed shortly by A Blue Funk al A Brown Study. The hands of the clocks slowly moved, at length a peng messenger rushed up to them. ‘‘ Who’s won ?” they cried with one voice. ; . , _ The messenger gave the required information. Then there was a| Harp Camm, ty @ Eminently Steady Person's Diary :-—"'1 aigh of relict, and the Ministers returned to business with emotions shouldn’t go to the if 1 weren’t driven to it.” (And so he a varied character. | was, on a coach. }

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268 [Juve 9, 1804. | PROPOSITIONS AND RIDERS. Ir “*the serious inconvenience” caused by closing the park | thoroughfares to all vehicles but private carriages is, as the Daily | News — informed us, now occupying the attention of the First | Commissioner or Works, could not this eminently practical official | just carry the matter a trifle further and give even more deliberate | | ee — *, STON-Gap aan . “meas ARENT j — " i = ‘fled i a JEN | Onan on aw all pv, a at Mr. Punch remonstrates and suggests. consideration (only not too “‘ deliberate,”—say a week, and then let him act in accordance with Mr. Punch’s wishes) to the rides and drives which ought to be made, for the benefit of equestrians and vehicularians, across Kensington Gardens, from south to north, 1.¢., from South Kensington to Bayswater. Rotten Row should be extended on the southern side of the Serpentine in a nor’-westerly direction, so that the jolly young Bayswatermen on their gallant hacks might have the advantage of a short cut into Rotten Row, under the shade of some of the finest old spreading trees that London can produce, and that Paris, with all its lovely Bois and its beautiful pale greeneries, cannot equal, ese great improvements, as has been over and over again pointed out to “* the authorities,” could be effected without any danger to nursemaids and their charges, and without any sort of deprivation to the lounging or hurrying pedestrian. No! the parks can be opened to a motly, noisy, rampaging crowd, with carts and patios that damage the grass and its own cause at the same time, mut not an effort is made on behalf of the convenience, enjoyment, and healthful recreation of law-abiding citizens with a seat in the saddle, and, quate , in the House, who are loyal to Queen and country, who love their London, and who wish, by gentle equestrian exercise, to support, to the greatest possible advantage, their own British Constitution. Let us begin with such improvements as these in Kensington Gardens and Hyde Park, and then it will be time to consider what can be done in the same direction with the other Un-open Spaces, - —EEE AFTER GOLDSMITH. W ew lovely woman tries to volley, But finds that men refuse to pla What charm can soothe her me Jholy ? What game can take her grief away ? The means her spirits to recover, To still the jeers of those that scoff, To fascinate the tardy lover, And gain his favour is—to Golf. Mrs. R. says she tasted an excellent soup lately, made with the young vegetables of the season; she fancies the name * Hop-Seotch.” At the same dinner th with a delicious perfume, called ere were “* Musk Rat,” she believes. PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. \It is not impossible that “PLACE AUX DAMES.” Dear Mr. Puwcu,—On Friday, the ist of June, there was a dinner at which only literary ladies were allowed to be present. As every one was bound over to secrecy, of course I cannot divulge the topics of conversation that were discussed cues the course of the evening. Those of your sex who have been privileged, on account of their extreme youth, or for other merits, to “* join the ladies at times when ** the gentlemen have been ‘eit over their wine,” may possibly be in a position to j of the interse interest of the woman’s talk on the oceasion to which I am referring. It may be that the bills of the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick-maker came under review, the merits of this person’s gowns that person’s toupés found advocates both for the defence and the tion. It is not incredible that children’s ailments were con- | sidered, and the difficulty of obtaining a satisfactory servant faced \fair diners decides to publish her reminiscences. | and mastered. Of course I cannot say whether cigarettes were ad- it can I tell you whether ginger beer was more i. ae, or PP ne Prom was preferred to ‘more poe these detuils must be reserved until the time arrives when ane of me s is at present, as everyone knows that the i to off just = ee ee account of his career by giving the y; v autobiographer commences his date of = birth, a that would t properly, be un adies. However, if I must not t you anything about the matters upon which I have touched, or rather to which I have referred, I can make at least one admission, and, when I make it, I think I shall be ——— by the vast jority of those who were present on Friday last. The Literary Ladies’ Dinner of the 1st of “- oy needed one feature to be abso- lutely perfect—the presence of gentlemen. _ ‘iat Yours cordially A Daveuter or Eve wHo Remembers ApaM. AN IRISH DIFFICULTY. Pat (‘‘ the morning after,” reading Prescription), ‘‘‘ DissoLvE WAN OF THE PowDHERS IX HALF A TUMBLER OF WATHER, AN’ TH’ OTHER of it was| PowDHER IN ANOTHER HALF TUMBLER OF WATHER. MIX, AN’ DHRINK some green grapes | WHOILE EFvervesuin’.” WuaT'tL O1 po! Wor THE DIV'L DIDN'T HE SAY WHICH OI WAS TO MIX FURRST!”

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June 9, 1894.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. FY: | agg y a Aas is Lewy _«" jrdew _ = Aq J ak — Zee” * THE BATTLE OF ISLINGTON. Confused Impression on our Artist's brain of the Military Tournament, Agricultural Hall. SHALL WOMEN WHEEL ? Srr,— Cycling is the sport for ladies on my own case. I was fading away, and could eat nothing. Five specialists had given me up. I bought a cycle as a last resource. In less than a fort- night I could eat four under- done chump chops for break- fast! In a month could floor a coal-heaver. I now weigh sixteen stone, and have had to have a specially strong machine made for me. For- merly I was a martyr tu rheumatism. I’ve conquered rheumaties by pneumatics. Ta, ta! Off for a spin. A SPinsTer. Sin,— The other day I mas- tered my natural shyness enough to mount a “ bike” (that’s what my brothers call it), My trial trip was horribly eventful! Iran over a smal! boy near Richmond. I fancy he was badly hurt, but I do so hate a row that I didn’t stop to find out. Then, in going down a st ill the e (or is it b ?) wouldn’t act, and I ran into a policeman at the bottom, and upset him. OOM + tiny ag , 7 eg {° # Y It upset me, too, very much, | bc cause he took my name and address, and is going to sum- mon me for *‘ furious riding”! | And I am afraid to go at six miles an hour! No, cycles are not the machines for No Roapsrer. Countryman, “‘ Be Ot roicnT ror Epsom, Master?” Minister Stiggins (who never misses his opportunity). ‘‘Ersom? Youne Man! Youne Van! Kyow YE Nor THAT YOU ARE ON THE WAY TO Torner!” Countryman, “‘An! Dznozp i O1 pipy’t Tainc O1’p TOOK A WRONG TURN SOMEWHEREs |” Sir cling is delicious — but what ds the doctors mean by calling it hard exercise ? I always ride on a em with dear Frep, and it is just like being in an arm-chair and I often take out a novel and read it. I don’t work the ing down hill, as I think the action rather unlady-like. Frep, however, works all the time. He says he thinks he will get me a tricycle all to myself moder as I should enjoy it more. It inly is annoying to hear the ~-~¥ — on the tan- dem ; t then men are #0 inconsiderate. Even a mere twenty-mile ride with me seems to tire him dreadfully, which just shows what lazy, self-i ulgent lives men must lead! I’m going to make |Frep take me from Land's | End to John o’ Groat's in our summer} olidays. He'll have to break the record, or some- thing. Yours, Femate Fryer. ** AUTHOR'S GRIEVANCES,” For an eminent writer to | receive gratis from a distin- ; gui ishing firm a copy cry, ae — ” and, ane i 1" men , ’ find a severe criticism on his most recent work.

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Juxe 9, 1894. hon tt. AT a i Rag OS lay ei ' 7 ao ’ € . MY ae — 2 x alta a2) alin’ Ht! sits NNER ei ei hs “Ha, wal He, we! You pip Make AN Ass oF yournseLF! J HEARD Muse Brown ASK YOU WHETHER You LIKED Borricery!” “Wei, WHERE '’s THE yuN!? I sarp I PREFERRED Calayri/” “Ha, ga! Toar’s sust Tue Joxs! Borricetii isn't A Wins, vou Jucatns! Borricetit ’s A Cassese!” THE CONSISTENT CYNIC’S VADE MEUM. (Specially prepared for the Derby Day.) Question, What is your opinion of the Derby ? Answer. That it is an intensely over-rated race ; immeasurably inferior to many others with but a tithe of its popularity. Q. What do you think of sammie who take the trouble to see it decided at Epsom ? A. That they must be suffering from tem- porary insanity. Q. But is it not pleasant to go down to the os by road ? Unquestionably no. If it rains the a is sufficiently marked, and if it is fine the dust is insupportable. Besides, the humours of the streets have departed. The drive down is as cheerless as a journey to a suburban cemetery. Q. Then you prefer travelling on the rail- way ? A. On the cont ; on accoant of the im-| mense crowds, who fight for admission at the doors of the carriages, I can scarcely imagine | a less agreeable route. Q. But you cannot go by water, and if you | charter a it runs into money—am [| | not ongect in the assumption ? . Yes; and therefore I shrink from visit- | ing Epsom when the road is dismal, the —— are inconvenient, the river is impossible, and the atmosphere is (after taking everything into consideration) impracticable. @. And what do you think of “a Derby snack ”’ ? A. Merely a premium upon indigestion. Q. But surely you see no harm in the club sweep ? A, On the the contrary, it is a snare to the thoughtless, a lure to the extravagant, and a disappointment to almost everyone. Q. But if in the in the possession of the first favourite, would not such an occurrence cause a modification in your opinions ? A, No; because princi - are not affected by events ; and it might too that the favourite might be pater ed at the last moment. 2. aie = ou were an employer, you would Deer? to your subordinates on the A, Cortaale AR On the contrary, I would take care that even mm Ragen leave oot on that particular occasion, be abolish Q. ren you approve of the House of Commons meeting on the 6th of June, Derby 7 or no? Most assuredly ; and it seems to me an shaiute scandal that the House of Lords -F not follow the example set in another | Q. a it is your deliberate opinion—— A. I beg , but I have no more time to answer questions. Q. Why not ? A, Because, in co y party of fellow-tenvellers train to Epsom. with a numerous I have to catch a From ove Lirrery Basxer.—The Athe- neum says Messrs. Oscoop & Co. are @. And are you pee consumption to re-issue Mr, Harpy’s novels, We of **a Derby luncheon ” 2 Cho itn bo te Eatng them ont, comes A. On behalf of the, non-medical — at a ery Christmas, under the title mat oad _— Sache tore of * The her my Annuals.” The Gardeners’ ie aye —_ ree —— ticial finan- — tcle pues A to have had the monopoly of wing you find yourself THE AGE OF COCKSURENESS. (After Thackeray's ‘‘ Age of Wisdom.”) [Dr. Jessorr says, “I never knew a man of fifty years who was ever argued into anything.’’} Ho, modern page, with a wish to win To novel notions the public ear, You move the young with B year decadent din ; This is the way all boys begin— Wait till you come to Fifty Year. Curly locks cover changeable brains, New-fangled notions they court and cheer ; | Impressionist pictures and symbolist strains, | Novels 0 _ sniff of the shambles and Wait till ou come to Fifty Year. Fifty times over let Fools’ Day pass, Jubilee season the brain doth clear— Then you know that a boy is an ass, You will not change creed, party, glass, Once you have come to Fifty ¥ Pledge me round, I bid ye declare, | _ Cocksure codgers whose beards grow grey, | Is there an argument, false or fair, | Will ong you budge by the breadth of a From the ood old faith, and the dear old way ? The readiest lips that ever have pone. x. keenest logic that ever hath shone, wey ay eoges and =} but ya ll have ous ears, and nodded, and doz » their polemic i is finished and done." The Age is crowded with theories queer, How _s pore welcomed them thirty years They argu as Ww but I sit here, Quiet and argue and worry; Fifty Year, | Cocking a snook at their callow shine !

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—June 9, 1894. Ay he 3 i .F | IN THE PADDOCK. Mr. P. “TAKING A LITTLE HOLIDAY, MY LORD?” Lorn R-s-n-ry. “HOLIDAY! I’M DOWN HERE HARD AT WORK FOR THE GOOD OF THE ‘PARTY’! HOPE HARCOURT ’S ATTENDING TO BUSINESS AT WESTMINSTER !!” —_—— + ——

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Jone 9, 1894.) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 273 : . lof 8 re’s creation. Why should this Op-erratic Falstaff THE OPERA-GOER’S DIARY. of paipeuate onlin. Leet abate Tuesday and Friday.—Two single nights rolled into one very fat| Sir Davazotawvs has done everything for the Opera, and the last Knight—Falstaf. Falstaff, personally, is sufficient to fill several | scene is most effective. By the way, as the masquerade in the stalls, yet this present deponent, having seen Falstaffs not a few, | Forest was got up at a few hours’ notice by Mistresses Ford, Page, is unable to val to mind any one of them, save Mark Lemon, who | and Quickly, what a extensive circle of female acquaintances did not look just exactly what he was, a stuffed figure. The s' they must ee had in the town and immediate neighbourhood of Falstaff’ s nes ay is always unreal, his swagger is conventi Windsor to enable them to assemble so large a y at such very his voice is foreed : neither singer, nor actor. can ever be SHAKSPEARE’S short notice! And how fortunate that all these ladies, presumably Sir John Falstaf’; and though Signe Verpr may stuff him with merry wives, merry cousins, merry nieces, merry sisters, and many notes, yet the fect remains that Falstaff is a very heavy person, and | aunts, pemneing te highly respectable eee families in an that the best seenes in Verp1’s Opera are just those in which either about Windsor, happened, not only to be all disengaged, but also to the Fat Knight doesn’t appear at all, or is only of about the same use possess, ready for use, these very fairy dresses, without which the as is a foot in a scrimmage, and is being hustled about here, | whole idea might have resulted in a sad fiasco for the Merry Wives. shoved away there, and finally jammed into the notable buck-basket, If Evry Havrnor Jones hadn’t thought of it first, Suaxsreane to disappear over the balcony and fall splosh into the river below. | might have called Ais play The Masqueraders. As said game of football cannot get along without the object of the hursday.—M e Apri made her first appearance here as kicks, so tis with the dramatic portion of the Opera of Fi , Valentine, not Marguerite’s brother, but the heroine of the Hugue- for its principal character is to the other dramatis persone what the nots. Much applauded. Her duet with Marcel acclaimed enthu- football is to the players. Much of the music is delightful, but siastically. Jurrrea Piancgon (uncommonly like Plain-song in SN — _ Ws ~~ ~ “ REVERENZA !” rarely catching ; not from beginning to end is there a phrase in it so | English), as Marcel, excellent and not to be bettered. Mlle. Siwon- immediately taking as is that well-known one in the overture to The | ner also first-rate inthe part of Marguerite, not of Faust but of France, Merry Wives of Windsor, There is a taking Nonette in the first | La Reine Marguerite, who appears like a brilliant musical firework Act; but, to sum up, the Second Scenes of both Acts take first places, | in the second Act, and then goes out with a bang and is heard no and the Opera is more a success for the orchestra than for the singers| more. But for the time she is Queen of song. Altogether a fine as either vocalists or actors. Occasionally it occurred to me what | performance of the Huguenots, difficult to beat. either of our two humoristical composers, yclept SuLLIvaN or SoLo- | Saturday.—Grand night. House choke fall, in spite of continued won, might have done with this subject. Sviiivan-cum-Soromoy | cab strike. ‘* Royalties,” amounting toa considerable sum, thoroughly would have made a magnificent work of it. The orchestration is | appreciatin Madame Mauna making her first appearance this season full of Verpr's fun, and this brought to my mind the work of|as a French-speaking Marguerite to Signor be Lucta’s Italian both our English composers. Signora Groza Ravoert, as Dame| Faust, Her jewel song a gem, bat not a brilliant. When ended, Quickly, with little to do or to sing, makes so much of it, that | floral compliments handed in. Juprrer Prancon admirable as when she is on the stage, the time Quickly, and the Opera | Mephistopheles, sometimes doing it in Italian, sometimes in goes.” The eccentric characters, r. Caius, Bardolph, Pistol, | French, suiting his conversation to his company. Signor ANcona | well played and a Messrs, ARMANDI, PELAGALLI-ROsETTI1, doing well dying nobly as Valentine. Walpurgis-night Act —; = MON im, vt eo ly — up. Signor a pe quite ay et = —_. and wy: pert ~~ | an an Falstaff, with such airs,—more or less NANI ing in orchestra, DaunioLanus ight vi and pantomimic action as are not associated with the Enelish idea | enthusiastic ! ee. | AN Then shall we lounge in luxurious leisure in Yes, could we reach to the proud elevation of | ~ eal a _ ts f Rooms that are rich in each costly device, One of har hooves there would not arise a tea " ude” = te Po ‘Mall Menmine’? Then shall | addy 2) a dg Hood fay wach Jeng thy and Sees eastigation of ’ ? 8 ist | It cricket, with marvellous steadiness do? Since a novelist play ¢ a pot pecan pam wo bane you, great censor, to jump we Cen . That mediocrity ’s simply a crime, Lasker at chess we conquer with More ona failing we're eager to shun, How can we beseeches readiness, in would From the iinine tan aken = Pulverise Rosgxts at billiards with ease. _ a lf she will but condescend of her charity | While if we take to poetic activity, In their perfection—bat how is it done rlints on the way it is managed to give, Critics will reckon our cantos divine, Live! we all, with the utmost hilarity, Or if we feel an artistic ity, ; As “Opxyine” vor Lonp Roszszry.— er heroes and heroines live. All of our pictures be line. ** Mr, Chairman, Ladas, and Gentlemen.” tate STRATHMORE and com-

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| “IMVdIURINOOD IVARKIUG Sli GVH Agduaqd ,, MHL NGAG “Sd33d SIYOLSIH3Yd [June 9, 1894. PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

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Juxe 9, 1894.) ‘ . PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. ROBERT AT RICHMOND. I MANAGED somehow to get a trip up to Richmond last week, and if it hadn’t bin for the heavy rain and the bitter cold wind as we had for a good part of the time, we shoud all have enjoyd it thorowly, masters as well as waiters. : The principle thing as we went for to see was what I shoud call a reglar staggerer ! Everybody as knos Richmond knos as well as I do that the one great nuisance of that truly rural place is the quan- tity of mud at low water, that is to say, when the tide has nearly all run away, and so sum wunderful clever feller has set to work for a year or | so, and has acshally made a | new Bridge, and a new Lack, | and some new Slooses, I think they calls ’em, by which | means all the Lasses of Rich- | mond Hill, and all the jolly | fellers as is allers a swearing | as “they'd crowns resign to call ’em mine,” is able at any time of the tide to find about six foot of water in any part| if the river up there in which to row about ! The Sherriff gave a werry good dinner to his gests at the cillibrated ‘Stars and Gar- ters,” and I seed some of the Copperation swells at it, and they seemed to injoy their- selves much as usual, an sum on ’em aeshally gave me | the same frendly nod of reckognission as usual, which ky “4 Be TOUCHING THE ANARCHISTS. Cook. “Lon, Miss Mary! I wonDER THEY DON’T TREAT THEM WRETCHES | isn’t LIKE THEY DO IN FRANCE, AND HAVE THEM GALANTINED/” oung Mens Asosheation, about a thowsend of who was a going for to come there nex week to be receeved by the |Lorp Mare to supper et |setterer! I wunders myself |how his Lordship is able to distingwish them from other Young Men, unless it’s by their remarkable fine happy- tites. Ropexr. Lazour Lost,—In the latest numberof The Century Illus- trated, there is a short poem, entitled Visible Sound.” Surely it didn’t require a poem | to illustrate this idea when it can be seen any day at a fish- monger’s. If ** Visible Sound” “Cod’s Sound,” we should like to know what is ? ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. House of Commons, Monday, May 28.—Did everything to-night except get on with Budget Bill, which was pre- ordained business of sitting. First, there was a private Bill, which, in accordance with quaint procedure of House, rides roughshod over every- thing. When Japanese student of Parliament- ary practice recently visited Westminter, he was much struck with this evidence of Western civilisation. “You have.” he said to Mr. Mitway. who, he believes, wrote Zhe History of Greek Chris- tianity and The Annals of St. Paul s,** constant difficulty about important measures. Ministers have to apologise all round because they can't make way for particular Bills, however far- reaching may be their national or imperial in- terests. It’s all fur lack of time. A public Bill can come on only in certain order, and in particular circumstances. But if there arrives what you calla private Bill, to put up a parish pump, or divert a village sewer, it must needs ¢ dealt with on any day the promoters fix, and takes precedence over everything, even your Badget Bill, or your several Disestablishment Bills I like to talk of this freely to you, for it must be my only word on subject, if when | go back I were to report existence of such state of things in what you call the Mother of Parlia- ments, my narrative would be punctuated fall of my head, struck off by a two-sword man, and that would be what you eall ‘a full ” stop. Badget Bill not reached till House been in | Session nearly five hours. Sat till half-past | twelve, but did nothing. Only gleam of light i \ ‘ cf é qi | AN \ Yi" NN i | ‘ oh WATE \ ~~ a ae - Markine Time, Sir William. “ Doesn’t look well on the face of it; but we mustn’t quite show all our hand yet!” on duleful proceedings shed by Home Secretary's admission that time at hand when tyrann i curbed. New terror been added to London streets in shape of fiend gliding along on infernal ’ round corners at speed of ten miles an hour, and vanishing out o of the bicycle - bounder shall be -machine with india-rubber tires, ey sight when he has knocked some one down. Hope that amid his family cares Asqurru won't forget this. Business done.—None. Tuesday,—Seton-Kake never so much sur- prised in his life. Some people have prepared scheme for carrying, not coals but, water to Newcastle. Seems in drought of last year, population of this thriving town threatened with water famine. For weeks had nothing to drink but champagne, chablis, and stout. Plenty of water in the River Rede. P to take it. All very well, only scheme will interfere with convenience of the salmon, who riot in the Rede. Seton-Kare, late of the Northern Circuit, is trustee of one of the riparian owners. Petitioned against Bill when before Lords. Opposition un- availing. Much expected from is, but proved, as riparian owner bitterly said, ‘a “lies Ieee producing brief, add ow Seton-Kanr, acing L resses 8 = - hoping to induce them to save the salmon. udget B waiting ; important Amendment and Division ing ; but Seton-Kazgr, like the River Rede, 6 On, He chatters over stony be In little sharps and trebles ; He bubbles into eddying bays, And babbles on the pebbles. Tim Hearty made first attempt to dam him. % in form ‘el, objection that, ‘being ent in ton ’ pesaniasiiy tatesestel in question, he wes aot

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| his breath.

| privacy of room. Comfo | flagon of the bubbling Salutaris, p surrounded by musty treatises on Probate Duty, the Law of Suspeien. asoli- |

276 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL. {June 9, 1894, ; ——_ competent to advocate the cause <i} instinetively takes his on in House of Commons. Srron- /¢_ ~ a bench. Half time Kak, just about to land a fresh 2 a vee Se ene ee of salmon in the way of concluding argument, sat down amazed at Trm’s temerity. Sreaker never taken aback, even by Trw Hearty, drew nice distinction. In circumstances, Srrox-Karr was, he said, quite in order in oe cause of his clients; mut if Motion pressed to Divi- sion, he would not be able to vote. Stream flowed on again: at last ran dry; whereupon Rus- ticus Expectans appeared in| person of Squrre or Matwoop, who forthwith belaboured the astonished fisherman with vigour that took away what was left of | hen recovered, he proposed to expend it in further | speech. Called to order; Ques- tion put from Chair; Sreaxer | declared Amendment negatived ; Seton-Karr wildly clamoured for Division ; Members near tried to stop him. “T think the Ayes have it,” said Speaker for third time, fixing the hapless fisherman with glittering eye. Srron - Karr feebly flapped his arms as a salmon Isnded on the bank of the rustling Rede shakes its fins in final protest against the whole sroceeding. But no sound issued | rom his parched lips, and New- castle will hove its water supply. Dull hours of debate in © =| mittee on Budget varied by bright flash cast over scene by Paisce Artuvr. Been absent during dinner-time, shut u = y a cursory chop, sustained by a the range of Mortmain, the young but austere statesman passed him with genial compliment u exceptional power of The incentive of being at loggerheads with the with usually sustained him. loggerheads with both parties, he surpassed himself. Axruvr, his brilliant speech, just crossing the limits of half an hour, infusing life into the saddening scene, causing the dead bones of the Budget debate to rattle into hilarious life. If preparation severe, the result more than repaid the stern self-sacrifice. Business done.—Not much. Some hours in Committee on Budget. Thursday.—To say that butter wouldn't melt in mouth of Seurre or Matwoop when, just now, he rose to move Resolution « priating remaining time of Session for public business, would be quite inadequate representation of fact. Remark, moreover, irrele- vant. Why should butter melt in any man’s mouth, or why should it forbear? Apart from that not delectable illustration, there was dangerous benignity in Sevrrr’s mood as he stood at the table. He had no — to make of the past, nor imputation to cast upon anyone's probable conduct in the future. Some people might be to say hard things about a blameless Opposition. Not he. All he wanted was possession of the fragments of time hitherto left at disposition of private Members, So apprehensive was the Squire of importing any trace of trucu- lence into his manner, that he dropped his voice to whisper that barely reached across the table. Members behind, more especiall those below the Gangway, could not hear. Angry shouts of “5 up!” ruffled the quiet scene. The Saurre’s face, as he turned to face this tumult, was a study of meekness that might be done justice to only by an artist in stained , whose masterpiece is set in quiet nook of —— | ehureh. For his part the Squire could not under- stand any mood less placid than that of a lily-strewn pond, nor any impulse to raise the voice above that attuned to benediction. “ That's all very well,” said Baron Fexpy. ‘‘ A voice soft and low is a beautiful thing in woman, In of House of Commons it's a little embarrassing, especially for a modest man like me, who s speech. | rty he formerly acted | votes against 52. Now, enjoying the luxury of being at | j So did Price |

either been to the Crusades, or is 27 } |? that debate closed before dinner, { hy Bp, 4 the Savi got alle asked . |

I hope he tary hour. Came into House whilst Courtwey was py followed | away look in his eyes. i Business done.—Assault on Matabele settlement repulsed by 218 TO AN other, has fallen into the i of pitching his voice in a key that does not it further than across the table, leaving other parts of House distraught. | That however the way, To-night the Squrre disarmed Opposition at the outset, Whole thing managed so well | Business done,—Remainin | period of Session warensiatel | for public business. ‘riday.—‘* Don’t hear much now of ELiis ASHMEAD- |BartiLetr (Knight)” said Witrerp Lawson, looking across at Front ition Bench. “But it’s always a comfort to me to find him sit- ting there with arms folded, legs or er and on his a a look of grave icion the Government.” 7 ““Why does he always sit with his legs crossed?” asked the Member for Sark, ever er for information. NECESSITY THE MOTHER OF INVENTION. ea a knightly attitude,” (A Suggestion in view of another Cab Strike.) said Sir Witrrp. * You'll | see it on the tombs in ancient ~ churches, It shows that he’s 1 going.” 7 ’t been,” said the Member for Sarx, with a far-

Y BOY-POET OF THE DECADENCE. (Showing curious reversal of epigram—-—‘‘ La nature l'a fait sanglier ; la civilisation l'a réduit a [ dat de cochon,”) soap ? Querr.—Is ev Likewi But my good little man, you have made a mistake If you That the really are pl to suppose Thames is alight with the lyrics you make ; We could all do the same if we chose. From So Of the There is Lomon down, we may read, as we run, ways of a man and a maid; nothing that’s new to us under the sun, And certainly not in the shade. The erotic affairs that you fiddle aloud Are as And you By the fact t vulgar as coin of the mint ; pay Cen ish yourself from the crowd t you put ’em in print. You ’re a ’prentice, my boy, in the primitive stage, And you itch, like a , to confess : When you know a bit more of the arts of the age You will probably talk a bit less. For your dull little vices we don’t care a fig, It is this that we deeply deplore ; You were cast for a common or usual pig, But you play the invincible bore.

Knight of the Bath bound to provide his own towels ?

EN THE Witt men ENC heal

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARIL—Junz 9, 1894 IMPORTANT TO ALL!!! EXPERIENCE. SUGAR, MILD ALES, PORT WINE, DARK SHERRIES, GIN, OLD WHISKY, BRANDY, SWEET CHAMPAGNE, LIQUEURS. EXPERIENCE shows that Sugar, Mild Ales, Port Wine, Dark Sherries, Swect Cham e, Liqneurs and Brandy are all very apt to disagree, while light wines, and gin or old whisky, largely dilute! with mineral water charzed with natural gas, will be found the least objectionable. HNO'S “FRUIT SALT” is } eculiarly adapted for any constitutional weakness of the liver. It yey the power of reparation where digestion has been disturbed or lost, and places the invalid on the right track to health, DRAWING AN OVERDRAFT ON THE BANK OF LIFE.—rxcitement, feverish colde, chills, fevers, blood n8, throat irritation. etc., late hours, fagged, unnatural excitement, breathing impure air, toc rich food, alcoholic drink, gouty, rheumatic, and other blood poisons, influenza, slecples ness, biliousness, sick headae’ ¢, skin eruptions, pimples on the face, want of appetite, sourness of stomach, etc, Use ENO'S “FRUIT SALT.” It prevents diarrha@a, and :emoves it in the early stages, It is pleasant, cooling, health- giving, refreshing, and invigorating. i 0'S “FRUIT SALT” assists the functions of the LIVER, BOWELS, SKIN and KIDNEYS by Natural Means; thus the blood is freed from POISONOUS or other HURTFUL MATTERS, the Foundation and GREAT DANGER of CHILLS, etc. It is imp.ssible to overstate its great value. THERE 1S NO DOUBT that, where it bes been taken in the earliest of a disease, it has in innumerable instances prevented a severe illn’ ss, Without such a simple precaution the JEOPARDY OF LIFE IS IMMENSELY INCREASED. | Testimonial from a Professional Nurse. (GCARLET FEVER, PYAMIA, ERYSIPELAS, MEASLES, CANCRENE, and almost every mentionable disease.—I have been a nurse f yr upwards of ten years, and in that time have nurs:d cases of scariet fever, pyemia, erysipelas, measles, gangrene, cancer, and almost every mentionable disease. During the whole time I have not been ill myself for a single day, and this I attribute in a great measure to the use of ENO'S ‘FRUIT SALT,’ which has kept my blood in a pure state. recommend it to all my — during convalescence, Its value as a means of health cannot be overstated, “A PROFESSIONAL Nurs, M.R.B.N;A., “ April 21st, 1894," “ Royal British Nurses’ Association, THe VALUE OF ENO’S " FRUIT SALT” CANNOT BE TOLD. Its success in Burope, Asia, Africa, America and Australia proves it, | CAUTION,.—Examine each Bottle, and see that the Capsule is marked BNO’S ‘‘FRUIT SALT.” Without it you have been imposed on by a worthless and occasionally poisonous imitation, Sold by all Chemists. Prepared only at ENO’S “FRUIT SALT’? WORKS, LONDON, 58.E., by J. C. ENO’S PATENT. ERAL WATER. Martell’s KINAHAN’S “6 4l- 3i- 2I- LL au GLENISLE ATLEY TABLE WATERS or as oaue |i sna sacraak ia] THE RRO RATORAL | DAW LA MO ARE MADE WITH Cream of | The “WHISKIES. "| ABBEY” Sa a edule We BLL. Porton Sno. AUL ANS ANTIFAT O Unrivalied as a Table Water for its Pormy Veorrsace. Per con- tly Harm- ! ’ y A PERFECT OLD IRISH bighty va saturel ise **,» LIQUEUR OF THE W fa | K Y Can be obtained of all Chemists, Wine o * noe. Merchants, &c.; also at the leading g wf CHARTREUSE. OF ALL WINE MERCHANTS. Hotels, Restaurants and Clubs. coms "muck its pac For Metsea! Opinions, Analytia! Report ¢ iiprpaiee’ aii bigetie | REAL GERMAN HOLLOW GROUND and full information write lo stamp for pampbiet ; tal aiding SS Coal RS By CATLEY ABBEY CO., DICBY, LINCOLN, | BOTANIC MEDICINE 00.,8, NEW OXFORD &r., W.C. cheat Wine and Spirit Merchants 6 a Wow 8 t Ciahebed Petar edad, Bc BRILL’S yous “we FAcy bh LAWN MOWER. C O M 9) lid. per S EA poe hy ecauae ° ° Bath. waa ROl eat MACH TT. ed by ON Manafactory, Croydon. MOTTLED IN COGNAC. us Oo Matt. Bracing and 4 L ‘The finest type of DUBLIN : WHISKY obtainable. | Bleck Handle, 5e.64. Ivory Handle,7s.64.| Refreshing. A 7 . Over 50 years’ established | 4 Pr., Ivory Handles, in Rus-leather case,21g. reputation. Prom all Perfumers and Cealers. Exquisite Model. Perfect Fit. Guaranteed Wear. Cares of 1 doz. bottles free | Wholesale: Ossonwe, Ganarrr, & Co., London, W. to all Railway Stations on | PEN7INE COLLAS.—Ask for “Collas.” THE rene m | Brett oiotes ce Dem “LE. . K. RE . ANDREWS & CO., CLEANS GLOVES.—CLEANS DRESSES. PATENT DlaGOMNAL DAME ST, DUBLIN, | BENZINE —Buy * Colla.” SEAM CORSET. Bole Proprietors of the REMOVES TAR, OIL,—PAINT, GREASE. ‘Will not split in the Reams C. O. M. Brand. MYMOVES TAR OIL,—PAINT, GREASE. nor tear im the Fabric. ‘The FLOM FU RE,—CLOTH, &e most London Offi ever * Le Pr andon iceo— a. an “a " ors Pier. 12, Jouw Srrerr, Ave.rut. | Try *Collas. im White, Mack, ond —- es the ord COLL tna Sodearar Tatas | DINNEFORD'S MAGNESIA. | came iin ote for ACIDITY or rus STOMACH, HEARTBURN, B : = a a ar ‘EADACHE, GOUT, and DSDIGESTION. the World —

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x —E — “ Retained when all other Foods are rejected. It is invaluable.” London Medical Record. FOOD For INFANTS Sanitary Protection. | Infection of the most dangerous and virulent character can be | i Benger’s Food is sold At 1/6, 2/6, 5/-, and 10/-, by all Chemists, dc. THE AGED instantly destroyed with nM THE KOW WIDELY KNOWN NON-POISONOUS DISINFECTANT. Harmless te all but Disease Germs Stronger than Pure Carbolic Aci: and entirely free fom the dangers attending the use of Carbolic Disiafectan's t omiete, le, Se Gd. and é¢ 6¢.; Gallon Tims, Gs The nakes Thirty Gallons of Germ and Stench | estros er - ahve be used dally for Flushing Sinks, Traps, Pans, “ ao & Bole Me facturers— NEWTON HAMUHERS &@ (O.. Leo. Troe ret, Surrermece, London Office h, Gamat Groner Sr “ “Tr & Twos rT slew» Koan, Wt The IZAL Pamphlet sent C. Brandauer & Co's Circular-Pointed Pens. GEVEN PRIZE MEDALS. Reries of Tene Write as Bmoothly as a I aad Pencil. Neither Beratch nor Spurt, the points being rounded by « special process Assorted Fample Box for 7 stamps from the Works, BIRMINGHAM. ECZEMA With all its Terrible Irrita- tion and Horrible Dis- figurement cured by HOMOCEA which Touches THE SPOT PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI—Jusg 9, 1894. — = ete nn me G 0 LD MEDAL | Exursttioxn, Loxvor, SER. INVALIDS at Once. The Rev J. WILLIAMS BUTCHER, %, Park Road East, Hirken head, writes :—“I have great pleasure in complying with your : vest, and in putting in writing what I have already said by oy (mouth was much inconvenienced by a very irritating species of Beaema Several remedies that I have tried failed to « more than a very temporary relief. I finally tried oon, with happiest results The relief was almost instan . - and. what is more te the point, the soothing effect | mained, and a complete cure resu ted Yours truly J. WILLIAMS BUTCHER.” cums tree Up peck tor to. 3 aad Be (0. preferred. trom ths PEARS SOAP makes the hands white and fair, the complexion bright and clear, yee yt ay) ay ; _ and the skin soft and smooth as velvet. | “The name Cadbury “The typical Cocoa on any packet of Cocoa db g of English Manufac- is a guarantee of ture, Absolutely purity.”’ (I ury “ Pure.”’ Medical Annual. cocoa The Analyst. bramted by W Udiam Stuart Smith, of No #, Loraine Road, Holloway, in the Parish of 6t. Mary, Islington, in the Cousty of Middicsex. at the Printing Ufices of Messrs. radbury, Aznew. € Co., Limited, Lombard Street, is the Precinct of W hitefriars, in the City of London, and published by him at No. 66, Fleet Street, in the Parish of St. City of Leadon.—Sareapar, June 9, 1804. sar \ezes ee EVERY SATURDAY. PUBLISHED