Punch 1894-03-10: Vol 106 Iss 2748

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EVERY SATURDAY. PUBLISHED ———

lume | a “ Side by side he fascinating h Ihe First Volume | MEILICTURES cheat ta peclngs a Now Ready, y a% Partridge, the social studies of George du Maurier and the graceful fancies of Linley Sambourne, the Price Gs. | Caldecott."—Daily Telegraph. le Bound 66 statuesque designs of Sir John Tenniel and the E egantly ’ from U N C H 99 | sporting studies of Messrs. Cleaver, Corbould, and ( ’n-™x oe J ie « a eee ¢ \ rw S, Hh yr ‘ a > ed wy) IZ Ss: J Registered at the General Post Office as a Newspaper. PRICE THREE PENCE. v gn) Sel 4) th \ ’ Whe Cl) an SS S07 i ig < A "i eS ay) PUNCH OFFICE, 85, FLEET STREET, (Liliane LONDON. a} ith vi | }

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Mancu 10, 1894.) 109 | call me that. We women yearn for praise!” ‘You're a rare SHE-NOTES. brick, old dear ; and you’re never tealleah, Look at that photo of the By Bonora Suvporrox, other girl! Some women would have cut up rough about it, But you—why, you sent her a quid when she was peckish, and she With Japanese Fan de Siéele Illustrations by Mortarthurio Whiskersly. | chewed it for a week! Was there ever such a little chip?” i > . . > . >. ‘*My Soozie! My Toozie! My Soozie!” (To be continued.) It is the voice of a man, and he sings. He has grey eyes, and : ——— wears a grey Norfolk-broad. They accentuate one another ; the | pine-trees also accentuate his fishing-rod. His hum blends with | THE SHOPLIFTER. the bleating of the Bufo rudgaris and the cooing of Coleoptera, : . x Beside a fallen pine lies a woman (genus, in fact, muliebre). | A Sone ov Swett “ KLErromants. Where the tree fell = . 3 there she lies, Her | AIR The Woodpecker, fresh animal in- I knEw by her hair which so cunningly curled stinet sniffs the) About her keen face, the Shoplifter was near ; music-hall refrain ; | And I said, ‘ If there ’s innocence found in this world the footlights of the A shopkeeper simple might look for it here.” Pavillon Rouge mix rather weirdly with It was noon, and on seats that were scattered around a vision, just rude- Gaily chatting reposed each fair shopping swell she ; ly interrupted, of | Her face seemed at rest, and she made not a sound, terra-cottas from | This Shoplifter “‘ nicking " when no eye could see. Lag a | And “* Here in this sumptuous store,” I exclaimed, these things in a| “ Sits this maid who is lovely, at least to the eye ; ed She would storm if I charged her, and blush if | blamed, TicentBe tha ate, And swear that before being searched she would die,”’ dent of the aay Yet within her back pocket her hand as it dips Femininity. an Deposits the ** swag,” this she-Sixes fair and fine : ready, while stil And I know, when arrested, those innocent lips out of gunshot, he Will swear that those trinkets are hers, which are mine, has noticed her wedding-ring and Chorus :— thediamond eeper. Yet she smiles there, at rest, and she makes not a sound, Talking of keep- This Shoplifter ‘* nicking” when no eye may see. ers,” he begin ae ee Tee ? il i } nea a —_ —_ . ciently familiar to OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. the reader, ““arewe| ‘Typ Baron has been much in- trespassing here ?”’ | terested in Mr. NorMAN Lock YER’s She replies in her| Jason of Astronomy, published frank unem bar- by Cassett. The gods, whether way. Better star-gods, or sun-gods, or any ask a p’leeceman,” | other s, seem to have been she says. _ (A lady, | invented pictorially by the same obviously! Worth | kindof inspired talent that painted J Bet!“ The Faithful Servant” on the your braces !) wall of a cloister in Winchester * After trout, you | College. There is no doubt what- know. Any local tips in flies?” A rare smile comes with her ready ~_ Sat the Egyptian Sun-day answer. ‘‘* Pick-me-ups’ after a heavy night ; ‘Henry Clays’ after | was observed as strictly or even lunch ; ‘ spotted cocktails’ for the evening. Like a ‘coachman’ my- | more so than our Sunday is now- self ; sometimes find them quite killing!” |“ Happy coachman!” | 4 days; but whether all the shops A chill comes over the sylvan scene with these reckless words | were shut, and the taverns open She has gathered her cream-coloured mittens about her wrists; the | only at certain hours, as in Eng- contrast at onee strikes him ; in the subdued evening light he can|jand, or whether the Egyptian see that her hands are unwashed. She bows coolly, and is off across | Sunday was kept (or not kept, in the stream like a water-snake. : . > > ea Tee a Sabbatarian s¢ ae . it - pretty enerally abroad, the observant She is lounging nervously on the edge of the parlour-grate. There ar owe LOCKYER is unable to are two (an acute observer would say three) furrows on her forehead. inform us. The chapter about ‘* Off your pipe, old chappie? Feel a bit cheap?” (It is her husband ].;. and Horus is most interesting, who speaks in this way.) ‘Yes, beastly, thanks, old man!” | and specially at this time, when a “Try a nip o’ whiskey. No soda; soda for boys. There, that’s | symbolically-inclined Oxonian ar- right! Buck up! What’s your book?” “Oh! one of Witpr’s tist might represent Isis as nursing ‘ little things. I like Wipe; he shocks the middle classes. Only | the Kight,—symbolised bya figure VUALE O the middle classes are so easily shocked!” He smiles a gentle, dull | of Qarus instead of Horus,—pre- ltl Coes smile. There is a long pause ; he cannot follow her swift eternally | peratory to the aquatic contest Anchent Bey ptian — emeatate | feminine fency. ‘*‘ What’s it now, old buffer? A brass for your Petween the two Universities. ¢, the Modern University Hoat-race. | thoughts!” **I was thinking, little woman, of a filly foal I once | Delightful work is Mr. LockyEn’s, ‘ had. She grew up to bea mare. I never would have let anyone on | and the illustrations excellent. Tue Baron pe Boox-Worms. God’s beautiful earth ride her.” ‘‘1’d have ridden her!” “ No, ‘7 you wouldn’t! ‘*Yes, I would!” mr ny and concen- = uc tratedly). ‘* Well, I sold her anyway. ky the t isn’t here : 2 . , a —_ , : meal ; > : He Grandmotherly Legislation Element in the County Council, now to spoil our conjugal unity!’ ‘The crisis had past. Another — canes [ the Reg FL um Wenakates, wiches thet Memness moment and she might have left him for ever lonely and forlorn! } aT Sodan wy vied Bt © : cn attanes . hould be granted only to such Music Halls as will undertake to But in a twinkling her wild, free instinct doubles at a tangent. ae Hy Femmes canal cach on Gee of bn wnintoxicating character, With a supple bound she is on his shoulders curling her lithe fish- | 5 . — ae “ee hy. if thi ing ; ‘3 wai 3 , oi ‘*in the body of the Hall.” Poor body!! Why, if this were to ay bese one of his waisteoat pockets. Surely gipsy blood runs besemne the rule, the Music Halls would very soon have “no body “*Oh! I wish I were a devil” (it is the lady eqeakiog) Fe yes, a | to serve. | d-e-y-i-1!” ‘* But you are, old woman, you are.’ and such a dear ; ; i little devil!” “Say it in, old man!” (kissing him fiercely in| Mus. R. said that when a great friend of hers died, *‘ he had a the left eye and worrying his ear like a ferret), ” I love to hear you | magnificent funeral corsage. | VoL, CVI.

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yuh uu imi il i * hs 7 ae Y “i es | g THE CIVIC TURTLE AND THE COUNTY COUNCIL BOA CONSTRICTOR. wil i 1) ( Mr Wn’ PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Marcu 10, 1894. | i | i. oo / “ft A Vie . “fle » - SS wee ‘ SS _—S ~~ ; y) kins v YH HY) S Se FA F ae. nC EAN SS S Waly f \ j S ey eee eg

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Marcu 10, 1894.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. " A ay PC plahlb pia cl Wi Leto le a é PREHISTORIC PEEPS. **COACHING” FROM THE BANK WAS NO SINECURE EVEN IN THOSE DAYs. (THe “ Eicur” ALi Sixes AND SEVENS—AND ONLY A Few Days To THE Racer !) - | Br-r-r! Them orful gaping jaws! Ouf-f-f! that ojus pisonous AMALGAMATION, eo. In its orful coils ’twould scrunch me, simply ‘‘ cuddle” me to death. [‘ The County Council observes that there are two ways of amalgamating ’ : : : the City and the County of London—by extending the boundaries of the City on, the _ = an — il P sey me ® yoy yoda until it becomes co-extensive with the County, and reforming the constitu- | +8 Contoun unty Council boa Constrictor © . ° ; A TT ’ > tion while preserving the identity of the Corporation, and by creating a new | Might ha’ known jest wot would happen. Times suggests as I'll be Corporation for the whole County, into which the existing Corporation and beaten, ‘ (eaten ' County Council shall be absorbed. Not unnaturally, the second way is the | Jest because I wouldn’t name the sauce with which I would be one chosen by the County Council, though some will find it difficult to recog- Don’t want to be gulped at all; prefer my present proud position nise the new Corporation as anything but the old County Council swollen by | To that same Amalgamation, wich is simply “* deglutition ” : the deglutition of the City.”"— The ** Times” on the dea t proposals of the| Oh! for a St. George, a civic one, to slay this hungry Dragon! | Londen County Council for the amalgamation of the City and County of | Wouldn't I jest drink his health in prime Madeiry, a full f London. | , ‘ | Howsomever, if the Boa is to be the final victor, __ Civie Turtle loquitur :— If my doom is to be swallered by this terrible Constrictor, — Gr-r-R-k! Amalgamation is it? Well I know them monstrous |! will do as a Slingsby did; I'll struggle, stab and kick, jaws And if I can’t kill the crittur, I will make it very sick! agon ? ja Want to swaller me, as Langton Bennett and poor Rufus Dawes ‘e ‘ - | | (So the brave Bow Gavirrer tells us) once were swallered by that | Tue Very Larest Tueory about Smaxsreane.—Mr. Lecxy, pest, : 7," : . . | speaking at the recent banquet in honour of Baron van GoLTsTELN, LS Cawana, slain by Slingsby in the regions of the West. aa sated that SHAKSPEA — might have been inspired by Cats. We Vould I were a Snapping Turtle, wot could bolt a alligator ; ‘think that the Daily Telegraph, in putting it “ cats,” has stumbled - a glass of good old Port is swallered by a City waiter! upon the truth. Of course, SHaxsreare’s having derived inspira- would give this Boa Constrictor beans! But I''m a poor old chap ; | i570 ‘from cats accounts perfectly for the fact that throughout his The Cawana of the City long has lost its power of snap. 2 » | works he has not a single good word for dogs, We require a little Ho! Amalgamation? Quite so! They would have hus “unified, more time to think over the connection between cate’ nine lives Like the — and the Lady—when the Lady was inside ! | ia xcomee eee fenmertallt en a smile would wreathe them features, them perdigious jaws | ""4™ y: would grin ! As the Times says, ‘* Deglutition’s” wot they mean—and it’s a sin ! Entre Eux. | Ain’t it long, and ain’t it whirly? Ain’t it got enough to do? Elle. ‘‘ Done yet?” I’ve only just begun. , | Ain’t its tail sufficient curly? Gr-r-r! It makes me shudder | Lui. Great Scott! then when will you get through it ? ___ through ! Elle. ** A woman’s work is never done.” Villainous, voracious Ogre, ’orrid mixture of the Grampus, Lui, But who the dickens couldn’t do it ? zee eae Cassowary, ond the gluttonous Cnepeneee _ _ 7 ‘ wo ways of Amalgamation t's its narsty wicket wit! VFR pRIATE.—Says ’Arky, ‘ Regular place for a Knows pertickler well, it do, the brute, that J can't swaller it! | medical can to ive oe Street, Berkeley Square. But why orge quite rises at the notion! Sooner swig Sout ic Sherry. ’ : i ite Well Street 7” Therefore in them ‘‘ Draft Proposals” at my case it’s making merry. don’t he cure it end make . beeen —— | _ * See “The Fight with the Snapping Turtle” in the Bon Gavirren| A Sion or Revivino Trape.—Great activity lately observed | Ballads. ‘amongst Cabinet-makers. |

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THE LONDON CHARIVARL [Marcu 10, 1894. I PUNCH, OR IN CONSTANTINOPLE. 4 BSERVED AT OLY™ rae Ree pe Scotaxn. Trowe—apocr 7.45 P.M, 4 Leade ; a pers mally-conducted party of three Mild Waiden Ladue N 7’1\ tell you when it’s time to go to our seats i I’ve got your We ’ll go into the 1 I’we been here before ket and all you ’ve got t do is to follow me. City and see the Carpet Factory first of all. First Mild Maiden Lady (as they scuttle along in his wake). Such a comfort having dear Edward with us! Now we're certain not to miss anything Oh, do look at that embroidery—such a siceet pattern 1 | really must sust Dear Edward authoritatirely x Now look he Tre, SELINA, you can't top for that nonsense If we’re going to see that Carpet Factory we must keep together, and look alive. They keep toget he r, and look as alive as they can. eave ail that to me now, Second M. M. L. (out of breath). One moment, dear Edward ; do « see what all those people are looking at in the glass case there ! Dear Edward, You'll have time to see that after we've done the carpets, Jemima. It’s only the Moorish Harem; nothing in your ine, you know Jemima (to herself, disappointed), I should like to know what a Harem like; but I suppose dear Epwakp knows Perhaps carpet-making instructive. They enter the City. best. s more In Frowt or THe Royat Moonrtsn HAREM, Sereral young ladies, of considera- ble personal attractions, are in- dolently reclining dirans, behind a large sheet of plate glass ; some unnaturally uncon- on s, others calmly disdainful, of the spectators who pass open- mouthed between the barriers. Mr, Meekin (to his wife). It looks very luxurious, doesn’t it, my dear ? Do you know, I think that sort of thing would be rather nice in our irawing-room ! Mrs. Meekin. James, if you have me here only to imeult that his to late - painfully misinterpretation, A Scandalised Matron (most un- ustly, so far as a male eye can letect). The paint that thick on their JAMES realises—tor remark ws open faces, you could take a knife and scrape it off! Ah, and I'd like to do it tom Her Companion (with equal acerb- y). And no such particular beauties either, that J can see! The Matron. Downright plain J call them. And not one o’ the lot with a bit o’ useful work in her hands—if it was only knitting. Laying there like that, doin’ nothing but stare people out o’ countenance ! She glares at the Lights of the Harem, who, not having heard these candid comments, preserve their composure. A Practical Humourist (who never neglects an opening). Pardon Ma'am, but surely you re aware they 're only waxwork ? First Matron. Law! you don’t meanit? Waxworks! (Relenting. Well, that 's some excuse, certinly ! Her Comp. But there’s one o’ them just clapped her hands! Perhaps you ‘ll tell me she’s waxwork ? The Pr, Hum. It's wonderfully ingenious, I know ; you ’re not first, | assure you, to be deceived by it. Still, if you listen a you can hear the machinery click. First M. Why, s you can! Well, the moment I set eyes on them, I noticed there was somethink ; they were a deal too nice- lookin’ to be natural ! Her Comp. Yes, you wouldn't get such lovely complexions except in wax. Bless me, Manrma, if there isn’t that one over there got a pipe and blowing bubbles—real ones! And look, there’s another aughin’. They're nothing but live women after all, the same as our- selves—the forward ‘ussies ! Severe the momen ‘ “The moment you try rotting them, they get rude! [ They look indignantly round for the Practical Humourist, who, howerer, has disappeared. The Pr. Hum. (seeing a prospect of pulling a Policeman’ s leg). Oh, Constable, when are the young women inside that cage fed ? The Constable (austerely). You won't see no feeding-time ‘ere, Sir, if you want tellin’! The Pr. Hum. (encouraged by the smiles of the bystanders). Poor things! And they seem so tame, too. Can you tell me, Policeman, is there any place here where I could get a bag of nuts for them ? The Const. You ask at the Refreshment Bar and I daresay you can git a bag; and you can put your own nut in it, then they won't ’ave the trouble o’ crackin’ it. Pars along, please! The Pr. Hum. (to himself as he passes along, slightly out of countenance), That’s the worst of Policemen ; the moment you try rotting them, they get rude! In THE Ree pe VALIpE. Chorus of Cigarette-sellers. Verri nahce seegahrettes, verri pretti seegahrettes, verri speshal seegahrettes! are, vill you try? seekspence ze box ! An Elderiy Oriental (at an em- broidery stall). ’Ere, Meesis, come ’ere! I show you. Nossing to pay! You look ’ere. Sirty sheelang! Ver lucky ting in de ’ouse, ver lucky! You buy somsing, Meesis! Meesterr y! { Which ‘‘ Meesterr,” on recorer- ing from his amusement at the mere suggestion, generaliy finds he has to do. A Grim Old Lady. I want a Turk’s ’Ed. The Elderl Bismillah ! Turk’s ’Ed? The G. O. I. I thought I could get one better ’ere, p’raps—a Turk’s ’Ed —don’t you understand ?—haven’t you got one ? The Eld. Or. (to himself). Mash- | allah! Does she think to beguile me? Truly the manners of these Frankish females are bold! (Aloud, Oriental (startled), eesis, you demand a discreetly.) I unnerstand nossing at all. The G. O. L. (with distinctness). I want a Turk’s ’Ed, on a long pole. The Eld, Or. (mystified). 1 see. You have enemy viz a Turk. You seek revenge—yes? (To himself.) Terrible these ciety unbelievers! TheG.O.L. Revenge? Rubbish! You know what I mean—a thing you dust a ceilink with—al] feathers. ._ The Eld. Or, Oh, Meesis, my poor old hade is no more all fezzers, and I do not employ him to dost. 1 show you pair of sleepares—vare sheap. Look ! The G. O, L. Bless the man! If I wanted slippers, l’ve a tongue ” in my head, I suppose. But it is ridic’lous to come to a place like Constantinople, and find they ’ve never ‘eard of a Turk’s ’Ed there! [ She mores on. The Eld. Or. (looking after her in amazement). What is she seek- ing? But why do I trouble myself? Allah has afflicted her, and she speaks words without meaning. Yes, it is that, without doubt. Dear Edward (at the head of his Flying Column). No; the carpets don’t seem to be down here either. e must go across the bridge, and try the other side. Come on! Cecilia (to Sexuxa). I do wish Epwarp would ask one of the attendants—couldn’t we get him to ? Selina, I don’t quite thivsk he would like it, dear; he’s been here before, you know ! In THe Gatata Tower. Dear Edward (in front, as usual). Getting to it now. The board said ** This way to the Carpet F .” didn’t it? ... Hullo, we're wrong again! This is a panorama. het # nip: & I daresay, but we’ve no time to waste over it. We must find these carpets. I remember now; they’re on the upper floor, of course! In tHe Anapian Niouts Musecm. Jemima (plaintively). Evwanrp, do stop one minute; there's Fatima at Bluebeard’s cupboard ; the door’s just opening !

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Mancn 10, 1894.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 113 Edward. Can't stop for those old fairy tales now; we’re close to the carpets. Hurry up! [They hurry up. In THe Prace Stampott. Dear Edward, Well, it’s very funny I can’t find that Carpet Factory when I know exactly where it is. And the Show's begun long ago. We'll just try im here.... No, that’s the Mosque— nothing to see there. We'd better go and take our seats, I suppose. They return to the Rue du Sultan), Now—you’ve got the tickets. Jemima, Selina and Cecilia. No, dear Epwarp, don’t you remember you said you would keep them ! Edward, 1? nonsense! (Searching.) They’re not in any of my pockets, so you must have lost them between you. Still, if you remember the block and the numbers—(they shake their heads), Ah, that’s the worst of taking you anywhere! Well, it’s absurd to pay twice over ; we must make the best of it, that’sall. Itdon’t matter to me, because I’ve seen the Show. We'll go back to the City and have another hunt for those carpets, [ They do, Near THe Exir: anovr 10,30 p.m, Cecilia (to her sister). Jemima, what do you think? Epwanrp had the tickets after all; he’s just pulled them out with his watch ! Jemima, Hashe? I’m so glad. I was sure he was worrying all the evening thinking we’d lost them. And after all, we did find the Carpet Factory at last; though it was a pity they 'd stopped work- ing, because it was such a disappointment for dear Enwarp! THE QUITE “NEW AND ORICINAL” BOY AT TERRY'S. Twat, in his chief features, The New Boy bears a striking resem- blance to Vice Versd is a fact that seems to be generall itted. Mr. Law in his farce has dispensed with the magical sandibaney used by Mr. Gururre in his inimitably humorous romance of world- wide fame. The hero of this farce is transformed into the boy, and has to bear all the ills that school-boy flesh is heir to ; which is just exactly the main idea of the plot of Vice Versd, Evident, therefore, as it may be, that Law went to Gururig, it is by no means clear that any good grounds exist for GUTHRIE going to best written scenes of Mr. Law’s ** New and original farcical comedy” which justify him in apply- ing the term ‘* comedy ” to his Peck cal work (that is neither ‘* new” nor ‘‘ original” if founded on the story of Vice Wersd) is just that por- £ tion of it with which the essential portion of the Vice Versa story has necessarily nothing whatever to do, I mean the scenes between the Irish adventurer, Mrs. Rennick and Dr. Candy ; those between Théodore de Brizae and Nancy Roach ; and those also between the latter and her father. The two characters that stand out in this piece are Feliz Roach, which is admirably played by Mr. J. D. Beveriper, and the French Usher, perfectly impersonated by Mr. SypNEY Wakpen, the best French- man on the stage since the days of Monsieur Marrvus at the Strand. Mr. Beavcnamp’s Dr. Candy is very good, and Mr. T. Parmer, as the irate Farmer, is a first-rate bit of character, not a bit too highly coloured, not the least overdone; and this may be truthfully said in praise of every one all round in about as complete a cast as has been seen on the boards of any theatre for a considerable time. Miss May Patrrey is quite the school-girlish flirt, and Mr. KENNETH yoy before! Ever read Vice Vers Doveras as Bullock Major (a name“ The New Boy. ** Oh, Law!” borrowed, if I mistake not, from THACKERAY) is the big bully boy to the very life, loud voiced, over- grown, uncouth. The small part of the maid at the echool is neither overdone nor underdone, but just done enough by Miss Esmé BERINGER, The disadvantage to the story in the lack of that supernatural modus operandi which sustained Vice Versd is nowhere more opponent in this facical comedy than in the part of the mother, played by Miss Grapys Homrrey. The Author may thank this clever actress for a good deal, but the piece could not have been saved by her, had not the cast been so judiciously selected as it has been presumably by the new theatrical lessee, Mr. WEEDON Gnos- SMITH, who at Terry's is in more senses than one, The New Boy. Irresistibly droll and occasionally irritatingly pathetic as is Mr. Werepon Grossmrrn in this part of the husband, A;chibald Rennick, who masquerades as Freddy, his own wife’s son, yet it would be very easy for the Author to have given us too much of this good thing ; and genuinely absurd as are the scenes in which the unfortunate Archie appears, yet the action, when he is not on the | stage, is never for one moment dull, and it is just in this respect that this piece, gud piece, (** cast’ included, of course) has the advantage over its near relative, Charley's Aunt, which, when Mr. Pewiey is on the stage, goes with a continuous roar, but when he is off | tends to be wearisome. Comparisons are to be avoided, as a rule, but in this instance they are most decidedly invited. Charley's Aunt is emphatically a one-part piece, but this is not the case with | The New Boy; and it never could have jumped so suddenly into — public favour, had it not been for its | good comedy scenes, carried on by an excellent dramatis persone. Mr. Weepon Grossuirn does not | look quite youug enough to deceive | the schoolmaster, the usher, the schoolgirl, and the knowing Irish | cousin. He could improve his | “make-up” by giving himself a | fresher oat healthier cae, and in- stead of wearing a costume such as is displayed in a boy’s tailor’s shop | window, he should be dressed in | **Etons” as is the Thackerayan Bullock Major. Mr. Weevon’s boy belongs to a Sunday School lot, and not to the establishment of Dr. Candy, LL.D., who presumably prepares his pupils for Eton, Harrow and Winchester, and who are not so “grown up” as to have dropped all acquaintance with the cane. Any- | how, this is the “‘ dressing” I would | suggest for The New Boy, who will | have outgrown everything except bis | popularity by the time he has become | ** an old boy.” B, in tHe Box. ‘‘Computsorny Purcnase or Lanp rn InELAND.”’—** Now,” said Mrs, R., **I do not understand this, Are we all to be compelled to buy land in Ireland? I can’t do it. I haven't the money, And, even if I could, I don’t want to live there as a land- | lady, and perhaps be shot at and not missed |” Onviovus,—It was not the Board of Trade that cruelly refused the Pedometer to the Marylebone Police Court, as inadvertently stated by one of Mr. Punch’s attachés the Mr, Anstey Guthrie (to New Boy). I say, Freddy, surely I've seen other day, but the Board of Works. Apologies, therefore, to Mr. Mun- DELLA and his merry men. The slip | was, of course, due to the frost. ‘‘ Measure space?” says the Board of Works to the Police Court; ‘you’d much better mark time!” | And so it is doing, in the matter of cab-fare disputes. The best | advice to cab-patrons who have been charged for four miles after | they have only been driven three, and who are thinking of visiting | the Court, is—"* keep your distance!” DeicutruL News ror SaxprorD AND Merton.—The Archbishop of Cantersury has recently appointed ** The Rev. Mr. Bartow” to be ‘one of the Assistant Bishops in Japan”! Will he take out S. and M. with him as two chorister boys ’ Tue New Corporation oF THE Crry, OR CouNTY CouNcIL WRIT LARGER THAN EVER.—The Lory Mayor is to be merely ornamental, not useful, and he may have a Show. . , if he likes to pay for it’: | O Ichabod! Ichabod! How is this ancient Corporation to be Icha- | bodied !! |

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Marcu 10, 1894. SrTy THE NEW HUMOUR. A» | HEAR YOUR DEAR LITTLE Boy 1s so AMUSING!” YES, CO” eRING ME’S ONLY Four! Dip I Tet. you us JokE WITH THE OLD ADMIRAL THE OTHER DAY! HE HANDED SALT INSTEAD OF THE SUGAR: AND THE ADMIRAL (WHO'S BLIND, YOU KNOW) ACTUALLY PUT IT INTO HIS TeA!” [ Does so. HAT 's TOO DROLI You MUsT SEND THAT TO PuNca!” UNARMING. ** Unarm—the long day's task i« done.” intony and Cleopatra, Act IV., Scene 12. Ar last '—Chill phrase by loyal love abhorred ! here lives a lingering sadness in each word !— \t last the unvanquished knight suspends his sword. lhe Lancelot of our lists for so long years, Victor so oft amidst loud storm of cheers ; Shall not such passing touch the source of tears ° Not Arthur’s passing, out from living sight, but the withdrawal of the war-worn knight From the glad fray and the tierce joy of fight. War-worn but yet unbroken, straight and strong, We hoped he yet should head the charge for long, Che star of battle and the theme of song. It scarcely seemed old Time himself had force his many-laurelled champion to unhorse, Shiver his lance, or stay his conquering course. From clustering jet to scattered silver went rhe hero's locks, yet left his frame unbent, His courage unimpaired, his strength unspent. He seemed of Age, as of all lesser foes, rhe easy master in the ceaseless close. Kenewed in strength from every bout he rose. ’ He's down—at last!” foes cried full many a time ; His strength is sapped, shorn is his crest sublime.”’ He rose, and smote, and won as in full prime. E’en now his four-score years bow not his crest. With sword unseabbarded or lance in rest, He looks the ready chief disdaining rest. Yet he hangs up that sword, that lance lays by, Conscious, though loud eaaes cohorts ery, (f fuling vigour and of dimming eye. ‘The seven-fold shield of Ajax cannot keep” Time’s battery from the heart. The cruel creep Of the slow years bears ail to the great deep. Bears champion with coward, knight with clown. The hero of a hundred fights steps down, Hangs up the sheathéd sword, and takes the crown. ** No more a soldier :—Bruised pieces, go ; You have been nobly borne.” So, in proud woe, Cried Roman Antony, by love laid low. ‘“*Unarm, Eros; the long day’s task is done,” This is no Antony ; here’s a nobler one ; Yet like the Roman his great course is run. From source to sea a fair full-flooded flow Of stainless waters, swelling as they go, Now widening broad in the sun’s westering glow. Broad widening to the ocean, whither all The round world’s fertilising floods must fall. The sweeping river with the streamlet small. Hang up the sword! It struck its latest stroke, A swashing one, there where the closed ranks broke Into wild cheers that all the echoes woke. That stroke, the last, was swift, and strong, and keen. Now hang thou there, though sheathed, yet silver-clean, For never felon stroke has Samed thy sheen ! For thee, good-knight and grey, whose gleaming crest Leads us no longer, every generous breast Breathes benediction on thy well-won rest. The field looks bare without thee, and o’ ercast With dark and ominous shadows, and thy last Reveille was a rousing battle-blast ! But though with us the strife may hardly cease, We wish thee in well-earned late-coming ease, Long happy years of honourable peace ! — -_ a ee

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Marcu 10, 1894.) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. A RAID ON A COCKROACH CLUB. ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. House of Commons, Thursday, March 1.—Mr. G., Downing Street, S.W., to Toby, M.P., Tropics, E.C. Come back at once. Some people say I’m going to resign, Others say I’m not. Come along, and tell me how it is. In obedience to this summons, left South Africa with its glorious sunlight, its blue mountains, its soft South Atlantic sea, its peach gardens. and its vineyards; hastened home to Westminster. Was) what people here fatuously call a fine day when we arrived ; at least, not raining; something glimmering in sky that looked like the sun after severe attack of influenza. ‘ Sunlight and water, J call it,” said Sark, gloomily looking at the best that can be done in London in March. Got down to House just in time to see Mr. G. enter. On the whole since he leaves the point to me, I should say, on question submitted in his telegram, ‘* The Noes have it.’’ There is no resignation in that eye with which he surveys the House, crowded in every part. More than two months since I was here; seems as if nothing had passed ; certainly the Parish Councils Bill hasn’t. House engaged on its consideration when, before Christ- mas, Sark and I paired and went off. On it still; Mr. G.’s speech makes clear that the end has come at last. The Lords have proved con- tumelious to the end. *“ Very well,” says Mr. G., taking that august assembly by the ear (so to speak), and vigorously shaking it; ‘* you shall have your own way, you bad, ungrateful boy. But it will be only for a while. If we thwart you now you ll only kick and scream and tear the Bill to ribbons, at a time when we have no alternative but to cast the fragments away. So we’ll take it as you have left it, and put it on the shelf. By-and- by, at a more convenient season, well have it out with you. There’s a long score to settle; we Il choose our time for taking the work in hend, and we’ll do it thoroughly, settling it once for all.” Radicals screamed with delight at prospect thus opened up. Haughty aristocrats Tike E.tis AsuMEAD-BartLett (Knight) curled the lip, and scornfully laughed, *“‘Ha, ha!” Sace oF QuEEN Anwe’s Gare, encouraged by this incitement to anarchy, cros the floor and made an attempt, ineffective at first onslaught, Toby and the “ Dook ” cross Palace Yard. to eject Atrorney-Generat, who, finding no place on crowded Treasury Bench, had appropriated Sicr’s seat below Gangway. Two dozen Peers cowered in the Gallery over the clock. Mr. Arc rose to his feet and waved his hat; Parnce Arnruur, stepping into arena, picked up the glove thrown down by Mr. G., and flung it back. Listening to his brave words, gazing upon his fearless port, Peers in the Gallery plucked up courage. When, fixing a glittering eye | on Mr. G., who having delivered his challenge ad pelapend, into | attitude almost of humility, Prince Artuvnr said, ‘* Let me tell the right hon. gentleman we look forward without dismay to the fight,” Asnpourye in Peers Gallery half rose to his feet and made as though he, too, would wave his hat. ‘ Nay,” said Lord Mornis in his grave, solemn tones. ‘‘ Nay, my brother, let us leave these ill- considered ebullitions to the newer nobility ;” and his dreamy eye rested for a moment on Lord Rowton, who made no sign. A historic scene; a fine audience; two speeches worthy of the occasion ; and so home to prepare for the new Session. “Do you really think he’s going to resign?” I asked the old friend whom it’s so hard to call anything but Harrrinerton, “Well, Toby,” said the Duxer, ** you ought to know better than I, since I’m no nahn in his confidence. But it’s hard to see how a man can make a speech like that amg up a new and desperate campaign, on the eve of the day when he himself lays down his arms, It’s too remi- niseent of another great soldier, Who fled full soon on the first of June, And bade the rest keep fighting.” | Business done.—The Session’s. Henny Fow.er goes home, carrying in his bosom the one ewe lamb that has survived the blizzard, a survival largely due to his solicitude and Parliamentary skill. Monday.—After all Mr. G. is going, not to say | gone. Secret well kept to the rt House knows | now that the speech it listened to on Thursday | was the last he will ever deliver as Minister of the Crown ; possibly the very last of the incom- | parable coruscation that has flashed across the House of Commons through these more than sixty years. The few Members present to-day to witness barren ceremony of Prorogation tread | softly, as if in presence of a great bereave- | ment. Tories, Radicals, Liberals, Conservatives, Unionists, Parnellites, Nationalists, whatever we be, we are each all one in our homage to the greatest Parliament man known since Parlia- ment began. Business done.—Prorogation. | |

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18 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. (Mancu 10, 1894. |

ITALIAN FINANCE. From the Newspapers f the next Century Yeerrrpar Signor Grasrt made his statement of the pro- posed new taxes. He said that unhanpily there is now a deficit of twenty billions of Hire, but that the Government hoped to meet this by increased taxa- tion, and not by any reduction of the Army or Navy. Loud applause from the two deputie . present, hoth sup vorters of the (rorernment t may be ex- plained that all the members of the Opposition are now loaded with fetters, and imprisoned in the deepest dungeons of the Castle of Sant’ Angelo. The supporters of the Government, except two required to form a quorum, are serving with the colours. The Minister said that it gave him great pleasure to reflect that every Italian, even if blind or lame, is now a soldier or asailor. He had just received a telegram stating that, in the wildest portion of the Apennines, another man had been discovered. Unfor- tunately, he was over eighty years old, and bedridden. Nevertheless, he had been added to the reserve forces, and had increased the nominal strength of the army to 26,349,001, including the im- mense reserveof female militia, now in a most flourishing con- She dition (Loud cheers.) The TOPHELES ! Navy was alsoin a most effi- cient state, and Italy was with ustice proud of her 270,600 sailors, maleand female. (Re TAKING THINGS in Ves . WILL BE!”

TOO MUCH FOR GRANTED! AND DIDNT YOUNG CONYERS LOOK SPLENDID AS MEPHIs- ALL 1s RED-—EVERY INcH A Paince!” He. ““My wove, Msepuaisropneces 1s Rep Is A MISTAKE. WHO HE IS AND WHAT HE REPRESENTS. ALWAYS BEEN PAINTED BLACK—AND BLACK HE 18, AND BLACK HE ALWAYS | to sterity a record of untar- She. ‘‘ AH, YOU'LL FIND You 'RE wrong!” -: newed applause.) He had now to consider the increase of tax- ation necessary to maintain this state of efficiency. It would be difficult to add to the existing octroi duties on bread, now at five lire the loaf ; or on water, at two dire the pint. (Here one of the deputies fainted from exhaustion, and was carried out, It was stated that he had had no food for three days.) It was also un- fortunately impossible to in- crease the income-tax, now at 99 centesimi in the lira, exclu- sive of other duties, since no one had any income to tax. (Here the other deputy took three 10-centesimi pieces from his pocket, and gazed mourn- fully at them.) It had there- fore been resolved to on aro | on air, and a Royal had just been published forbid- ding any person to breathe except on payment of 15 cen- — for Pn — of be ungs. (Here t Deputy t the chamber hastily, in search of the Tax Collector for the district.) ‘* Gentlemen of the Government,” concluded Sig- nor Graspt, “ since there is no one else here, it is evident that these measures will be ed, so that our country, still main- taining her glorious Army, more numerous by five persons than that of Russia, and her magnificent Navy, more power- ful by one to boat than a that of France, can hold a | Tae Prince or Darxyess! He's ery Beg nn

ed glory.”

A DOMESTIC ECLOGUE. SrTREPHON. AMANDA. PHuyYLitis. Strephon. Cold is the mutton now. It was not so, My own AMANDA, but a year ago. Amanda, A year ago for nought did StrerHon care, So his Amanpa were but kind and fair. Strephon. Accustomed comfort paled its fires awhile In the new splendour of AMANDA’S smile. Amanda, Not mine a smiling countenance to keep Only as rival to a silly sheep. Strephon. Yet, as a favour to your faithful shepherd, You might at least have had it grilled and pepper’d. t{manda. Pepper’d and grill’d! A year ago you said, While that wild waltz the Blue Bohemians play’'d, We'd live, like birds, on love and lemonade. Strephon, Nay, my AMANDA, it were sure absurd l'o proffer lemonade to any bird. imanda. Not more absurd than that Amanpa’s winner Should hold her rather cheaper than his dinner. Strephon. Now, nay, AMANDA, nay! A crust would be Better than any feast not shared with thee ! Amanda, Poor StrerHon, how I picture your disgust At sitting down to only me and crust ! Strephon. Indeed, your hardy SrrepnHon would not care, So there were any reason for such fare. Amanda, If thus your vows and pledges you forget, It is a pity that we ever met. Strephon, Nay, flush not so, nor toss your pretty head ; And, please, don’t add you wish that you were dead ! Amanda. Ha, ha! Indeed I do not care a button For you, or life, or love that recks of mutton. Strephon, How now, neat-handed Purtuis! Tell the worst-- lhis day, ill-omened, is on horrors nursed— Ist burglars, beetles, or the boiler burst ? Phyllis, Sir, while I talked with Mr. Cuatxer’s man, What time the milk was pouring from the can, Hylazx the larder entered, seized the meat, And seampered with it far adown the street! Strephon, 1s that the worst ? Then, Pay.uis, dry your eyes. Nor maids nor milkmen can be always wise. While Hy/ar takes the mouton for a tour, Rerenons a nos premiers amours. Amanda, Now your AMANDA you’ve again embraced, Hylaz shall have a collar richly chased. Sharp was the pain, the bliss is trebly sweet. Strephon. This day shall aye be sacred to a treat. Diane at Bonvrvant’s, and then the play, And we’ll pretend ’tis still our wedding-day

QUITE POSITIVIST! (A Controversy a la Mode.) Str,—I can’t stand seeing J-ny B-nws abused by a Republican Boatswain like ‘‘ Mad Fr-p.” Ah! How different from the old D-.xe days! Yours, Fr-p-r-c H-RR-s-N. P.S.—Kindly see that you omit the ‘* k.” Srr,—I’m not going to be called a Republican Boatswain by “‘ Sad FR-D-R-ck.” Yours, Fr-p M-xsE. P.S.—Kindly print the ‘‘ k.” Srr,—Mr. H-zr-son’s statements are incorrect. I never did nor said what he suggests. Yours, Cu-ni-s W. D-LKE. Srr,—Don’t believe any of them. I remember all the events perfectly. Yours, M-rr-s-n D-v-ps-N. Srm,—I stick to what I said. It still makes me ill to think of J-un B-nws being railed at by a turncoat Lieutenant. Yours, F. H. Srr,—Hurrah! Promoted from Boatswain to Lieutenant. Yours, F. M. [This correspondence, for once in a way not a put up thing, must | now cease.

| | E> =] ™ a. 4 =o aad Qe tH aszaiagaaaadadaed em ie wom saad azaacnea <—cl Hm 240° a4 Nn “Haq 4 |

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Marcu 10, 1894.) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. TRYING! (Very young Married Woman, dreadfully nervous, presiding at her own ‘‘ Five o’Clock,”’) First Lady. ‘‘ No SvuGar 1x my TEA, PLEASE!” Third Lady. ‘‘Ou, PARDON! NO MILK AT ALL IN wy Tea!” No Water 1n my TEA, PLEASE Cantankerous Old Gentleman. ‘‘Um! Second Lady, ‘‘OW, PLEASE, ONLY A VERY LITTLE MILK IN My Tea!” Fourth Lady. ‘‘No Cream, PLEASE, IN My Tea!” LAYS FROM THE LINKS. I.—Tue History or a Matcn. Let A be the Links where I went down to stay, And B be the man whom I challenged to play Ps _ " ‘ ’ was the Caddie no golfer’s without, was the Driver I used going “‘ out” : E was the Extra loud “Fore!” we holloa-ed, * was the Foozle which commonly followed : was the Green which I longed to approach, was the Hazard which upset the coach : was B’sIron-shot (he’s good for a younker), was his Joy when I pitched in the bunker. was the Kodak, that mischief-contriver, . was B’s Likeness—on smashing his driver: was the Moment he found out ’twas taken. ’ was his Niblick around my head shaken: was the Oil poured on waters so stormy, > was the Putt which, next hole, made me dormy. was the Quality—crowds came to look on, the Result they were making their book on: was the Stymie I managed to lay, was Two more, which it forced him to __ Play; | was the Usual bad word he let fly, V was the Vengeance he took in the bye. both FE es py pd Gy we ~~ “ wm W the Whisky that night : I must own X was its quantity—wholly unknown ; Y were the Yarns which hot whisky combine with, Z was the Zest which we sang “‘ Auld Lang Syne” with. A VADE MECUM FOR THE HOUSE OF PEERS. (Compiled by a Lord Literally in Waiting.) Question, What are the benefits of having a seat in the House of Peers ? Answer. To receive a large number of Blue Books, to be called upon to dwell for so many hours every year in a particularly draughty Chamber, and to have the daily advantage of seeing oneself abused in a fair proportion of the Press. Q. Are there any other privileges ? A. To be asked to attend at charity dinners by professional philanthropists and to feed with snobs. Q. Can you not remember a few more ? A. To be called by tradesmen, self-made millionaires and flunkeys, ‘my lord,” and to be charged double everywhere for everything in recognition of one’s title, Q. Are there no duties attached to the position ? A, Certainly. A Peer is supposed to act on behalf of his neighbours, whether they be rich or whether they be poor. Q. Has he any particular training for this employment ? A. Ninety-nine times out of every hundred he has been educated at a public school, and an university, and five times out of every half dozen his ancestors for a generation or two have been gentlemen. Q. Surely this should give some guarantee that a Peer will understand the meaning of noblesse oblige ? A, So it would seem to every one save the Editor of a radical and levelling newspaper. Q. Are there not Second Chambers in every country under the sun ? A, I think so, but geography was not my strongest point when I was at Eton. Q. And asa whole the debates and divisions of the Upper House have been beneficial to the British Empire? A. So I believe, although I must confess that I did not pay much attention to Consti- tutional History when I took my Double First from Christ Church. Q. Then do you think you should consent to the abolition of the institution of which you form a part ? 7 because I should be the means of breaking up the British Constitution, Q. Can you imagine any advantage that could be derived by this English application of the Japanese ‘‘ Happy Dispatch ”’ ’ A. Only the questionable merit of pleasing Mr. Henry Lasovcnere. Q. And would this merit compensate for the demerits of the scheme ? A. I venture to think not, although, of course, every one would be delighted to oblige the senior Member for Northampton for the sake of his uncle, the late Lord Taunton. Q. Then what course do you propose to pursue A. To let well alone, although 7ruth may be at the bottom of it. **Tl Faut Souffrir.” “ Tr faut souffrir pour étre belle,” So ladies say, and mean as well ; For, truly, they will lace and pinch, And die before they yield an ineh. But what of those who have to pay For corsets, boots, etceteray ” Do husbands never sigh, ‘ J/ faut Souffrir pour avoir é beau” ? 1. No;

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL [Maren 10, 1894. OF BABBLE blooded belle, February 2A Blest_ silence Trappe Tne banio’s laid by in Belgravia. Ar the Letry Lixp’s in eclipse What is speechlessly a? by her lips, Her laconic, if beautifu No longer will babble of Babel The listener baffle and beat! will lap in the bliss of La The boudoirs of London's 4/ite, Where abide the loquacious ¢/ite. We must now learn to spell from each blue- Oh, bonny ’s the lay of the bulbul, And lilt of the lark up above ; [kissed But ’tis better to list to the dumb language, From the lips of the lass that you love, The blithe little lass that you = Then let us all boldly take lessons ; To make a beginning we burn! [Lirys— We'll write no more billets to Betias or The art of lip-reading we ‘ll learn, Yes, labial lallation we ’ll learn! I , lips. THE OLD HALL. (A Story of Delusive Aspirations.) « was a tuft-hunter One day, in a train, leman who aroused creat interest in his bosom. ‘“ Porter,” \ g aI ‘ave you seen my old hall?” “Got an old murmured Jones to himself. ‘* Rich man—probably duke! y muat eee my old hall,” said the Stranger. “ I'll show you all an put you up * Really very good of you!” he encountered an 2. The Stranger was affable. ‘‘ Did you ever ’ave an old hall?” he said. “ Why—er—n-no,” said Jones. ‘ Very convenient thing to ’ave,” said the Stranger. “I’ve got all manner o’ things in my old hall.”” ‘* Ah—armour, Should | and ancestors, and tapestry, and secret doors, no doubt,” thought Jones to himself. 4. They alighted at the terminus. ‘‘ There—there’s my old hall! Hain't ita beauty?” said the Stranger. Jones sank slowly to the earth, with- out a groan. That ungrammatical Stranger’s vaunted possession was 4 hold-all ! xclaumed Jones “* be delighted to accept “Put vou up to no I f wrinkles abo | halls,”’ continued the Stranger. OUT OF DATE. Scene—Gilade in the Paradise of Fiction. Group of Modern Heroines, from Unser, Totstor, Jonw Orrver Hoppes, and thers, reposing under the trees in artistic attitudes. Enter RKRosattyn on the left, gazing round in search of someone. The eyes of all the Modern Heroines are immediately fastened n her First Modern Her wane That ‘s SHA ESPEARE ! Second M. H As You Like It. Third M. H With disdain He must have pictured her! Fourth M. H. He wrote for gain Third M. H. She looks so cheerful! Fourth M. H. And eo very sane Third M. H. (sardonically). She's pretty , Firet M H sharpl; . We ll, we cannot all be plain! Fourth M. H. She didn't put a bullet through her brain! Fifth M. H. Nor fling herself into the restless main ! Sizth M. H. Nor underneath the nearest railway train. Seventh M. H. She didn’t find that life was wholly vain And loathsome, nor strive wildly to attain Through gulfs of unimaginable pain ! Enter Ontanno on right. Rosatinp, with erident satisfaction, hastens to meet him. Exeunt Rosatiyp and ORLANDO. Fourth M. H. (sternly). It is with deep regret we ascertain She loves the man she married ! First M. H. Too inane! Chorus of M. H.'s (with a heavy sigh). It somehow seems—so—utterly—profane ! ‘*A Navy Esrmate.”—Says Mr. G., “ Haven't we a magnificent list of the ships...in Homer?’ What we can want more that | is Greek to me ’” j Le ss Mi:

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARIL—Maren 10, 1894. Martell’s OF ALL DEALERS. ‘na Brandy. | TLED IN COGNAC | | | | } FRERES’ FIRST QUALITY CHAMPAGNE. Benedictine Liqueur. BEST OF ALL LIQUEURS. Benedictine. CDIN. » COLD FERI NC S MEDAL CopENHAGEN (HERRY BRANDY. _ The Best Liqueur THE ANOTHER SUCCESS. pushmills puRE MALT ‘UB! hiskey Has just obtained THE-ONLY MEDAL and HIGHEST AWARD for IRISH WHISKEY at the World’s Columbian Exposition, Chicago, 1893. Tondon Office—3, Camonutte Sr Distillery—BUSHMILLS, Co. ANTRIM. Absolutely Pure and Genuine Thoroughly Matured and Palatable. ically Be cOmMEeN ded. speicit WHISKY pa wah teen 2 to, *SUBLIN HOWARD BEDFORD PORTABLE RAILWAY SAVE YOUR LIVES BY TAKING OWBRIDGE’S LUNG TONIC. THE MIGHTY HEAL It has @ power over disease hitherto i in medicine, OVOCA Wholesale cab, ria Rronchitia and Asthma ti relieves mate antiy. The Spagms of Whooping Cough become less with each dose of the meticine. iE, Chemist, om » Be. Od., 42. 6d, and Ils, by atent Medicine Vendors. Prepared by W. f. Sold in Hotties, Is. 1 all Chemists and oe CELERRATED WOLFF VIOLINS, Are the best new instruments. Played every where Highly recommended by Sen. S.aasare Sacact (Royal College of Music), the les. "t Faruern, & @@ THE NEW PATENTED STUDENT'S VIOLIN Sensational invention. Lists of prices and testi monials to be had of W. KONIGSHERG & O0O., 1 & 2, Chiswell 6t., B.C., London Unprecedented Success! ARDENZ'S celebrated MANDARIN RAZORS, with fully warranted interchangeabie blades ost comfort able, remarkably easy, luxurious Thousands of un solicited testi monials, speaking with uabouaded eutnusasn of their capacities. tisfaction guaranteed, or me: aD retary eared all pespeutente Dealers and the maker, PA >, ooavTe Min, Kieaminomsm iutroducer af ‘the’ cxtal inal and only genuine GEM AI GUNS. Ask for ARRENZ'S G EMS, and beware of worthless imitations Exquisite Model. Perfect Fit. Guaranteed Wear. PATENT DIAGONAL SEAM CORSET. wil not spiit in the Reams n w tear in the Fabrie *The oreet made.’ Lanr's .. oe Slade in White, Mack, and all the fesiionable Colours and Shades, or Italian Cloth Satin, and Coutil, alse | the new Sanitary W oollen Cloth, 4/1, d/l, @/il, wards Bold ty "the Pe Princip 1 Draper and Ladies’ Outfitters in the Tease von Mapave. united kingdom ao slonies RIMMEL’S r TOILET VIN EGAR delicious eh jasting Price from 3s. 6d. per Bottle. KIMMEL'S “ BLUBH ROSE,” a delicious and lasting perfume Sold Everywhere trade mark on all goods HOOPING COUGH CROUP Has for over Ma Centert sustained "ue Hien Keretarion as an INDISPENSABLE TOILET REQUISITE Rn murs a3 RS vy en London and laris. “avtios —Note name @ ROCHE’S HERBAL EMBROCATION. The celebrated effectual cure without interns medic ue A Wholesale Agents, \. Kowsnos « , Queen ¥ ogg! pry lLondoa bold % ry mat Chem sper! bottle Paris—Wanat, ays ues de is New York—Fououns & Co., North William Street JOHN BI BRINSMEAD «8 SONS’ SOSTENENTE Iron Consol teas r wy pm Actions,&ec | Are for Bale ire, and on the Three Years’ System JOHN HKRINSMEAD & BONS, 18, 20, and 22, Wiomone Srarer, Loxvos, W + iy ‘NY pgacies WILLS* ‘oe Three Grades of Strength, viz. :— Air-tight Tins, in Continue to be supplied to Her Majesty the Queen. CARRIAGE PAID TO ANY ADDRESS IF ORDERE. THROUGH ONE OF THE AGENTS OF THE COMPANY FOR PLEASURE AND PROFIT. “| FRUIT “tay ee ROSES Bushes in variety. Packing and Carriage Free for cash with order, 8. per dozen, Os, per 100. All other Nursery Stock carriage forward. Roses In Pots From 15s. PER OZ. Ornamental Trees, 91 Acres. 4 Acres of Glass. Clematis (80,000) from 15s. doz. N.U.—Bingle Magts are sold at slightly increased } i ices SEEDS ™ a= CENERAL CATALOGUE over 14 pages)of Nursery Btock, arti-tically pro duced, coutaining some hund:eds of illustrations, and full of valuable information, sent 1b KEE RD. SMITH & CO., Worcester. bad Acres in Stock. Hundreds of Thousands. The best procurable. TATLEE-KIZ CIGARETTES. FINEST TURKISH BLEND. OF ALL TOBACCOMISTS. WM. CLARKE AND SON, LONDON AND LIVERPOOL. A TOILET — ~ COMPLEXION. ALSO YOR THE NURSERY, ROUCHNESS OF THE SKIN, Rac To be had of Chemists, Perfumers, &e Wholesale, R. HOVENDEN & BONS, Herners Street, W, and City Road, 0.C., Lewnee “MILD,” Yellow label. “MEDIUM,” Blue label. “FULL,” Chocolate label, As well as in One-Ounce Packets ~° and }-lb. Patent Air-tight Tins, by all Dealers in Tobacco. W. D. & H. 0. WILLS, Limited, Bristol and London. chant Croce: & Wine Mer FOR 1 AM BOOTS

Page 16

PU NC H, OR THE LONDON _CHARIVAR!.— Mascn 10, 1894.

* There ‘Pictures T - . gr. ESTABLISH ED 1825. =< ce

| SAUCE has been known for more than | | FIFTY YEARS | Y | ALL OVER THE WORLD. “ : | ASK FOR | : LEA & PERRINS’ | YY 5 . and see that their Signature | is on the label, Ry | : | :

BEWARE OF IMITATIONS. | INFANTS, Sold Wholesale by the Proprietors, Worcester, CROSSE & || CHILDREN, aauweee. Ld., London, ad = t Oil lly. | ondon, an xport Oilmen generally INVALIDS, RETAIL EVERYWHERE. | and THE AGED. | WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE.) su raceme xieiane xine LIEBIG “COMPANY'S” ROVAL TABLE EXTRACT OF | BEEF. §=© MARMALADE, MAKES THE PUREST, cwearesr, ano sist A DELICIOUS PRESERVE OF | |

PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY = BEEF TE A. ORANGES AND LEMONS. PERFECT —< ames GUARANTEED. | In 1-lb., 2-lb., and 3-lb. Glass Jars and White Pots.

See SIGNATURE (as an- Keeps for any nexed) in BLUE INK across S —— of time. at the Label ch Jar of th Gent I ct | | sessiatios | SOLD BY GROCERS THROUGHOUT _Biehest Aor at a te | THE UNITED KINGDOM. \) 1867, and declared ABOVE COMPETITION since 1885. || | THE COMPANY'S COOKERY BOOK sent Free on application to | GROSSE & BLACKWELL, LIMITED, |

LIEBIC’S EXTRACT OF MEAT COMPANY, LIMITED, | i | 9, FENCHURCH AVENUE, EC. | SOHO SQUARE, LONDON. | Tinted a e t . ri ag care ithe treet the Possiacs of Wishedihoea te the Gasp ah Lowaen. ond puntianad bim at No 65, Fleet Street, in the Parisd of S| ride, City of Loodun. — Ber