Punch 1892-10-22: Vol 103 Iss 2676

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| With py The issue of the “ Jorrocxs” Jilustrated Cheap Edition of the sigur pe ja HANDLEY CROSS Series of SPORTING NOVELS is now 300 Text Illustrations completed in Six Volumes. Large Crown Octavo. Price 36s. in all, HANDLEY CROSS, SPONGE’S TOUR, ASK MAMMA, ROMFORD HOUNDS, PLAIN OR RINGLETS, HAWBUCK GRANGE.

vedo HE wail tT “BONSd BSUHL BON > z “ > - 0) ll | z @| Ji o| 2) a) —-— ss i are a Be A Sa aS Ne il oe mt Scie 5)"F \ = py __- wr nt iP i wall = G _ S 4 I | i} < FY Ss i aya iI Jung), Pie FL ie Uh PinS is \ i Mn Ih f iff = l « anf \ ‘, ™ f ) } ’ ery UT Ge 4 yA) ‘ / Sy = wih

PUNCH OFFICE, 85, FLEET STREET, LONDON. RY'S. conclifisreo COC S CONCENTRATED 60 PRIZE MEDALS AWARDED TO THE FIKM.

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL—Ocroszr 22, 1892. CHATTO & WINDUS'S NEW BOOKS. LONDON. By Watrer Besant, Author of “ All Sorts and Conditions of M With i Illustrations Demy ro, tote extra, ite “ What the late Joba Kichard Green has done for = ana = Neeant has bere attempted, with con ooom, for Cockaigne. « series of vivid p aq, pt why ~ poems of the ny: No vee his mdon but will lo he better or « thie boot He who Enc we 5 ane ban ‘e a clear duty and « manifest pleasure - Res NEW LIBRARY NOVELS THE IVORY GATE. By Desawe, Aathoer of “ Derothy Porster,” &e ay TRUST- MONEY. By Wows Author of “ Red Ryvington.” 3 vols bs MARQUIS OF CARA- By Asnow Warsow and Litiusas Waseen S vols “ Certainly one of the brightest and best novels of the season Oraseow Henaco Bos MARTIN'S LITTLE GIRL. Ny Davee Cunveree Menncr, Acthor of “Joseph's Coat,” @c. 43 vols “A novel that contains some of the best work Mr. Christie Murray bas done Scorrien Lespea TREASON-FELONY. By Jouw “ Clever, ingenious, off ordinary lines Won A SOLDIER'S CHILDREN. , Joms Sreavon mren, Authe Life,” &e With at Illustrations. Crown hb extra, Ss. 64 “nN ne will read this story without feeling ite im pie graces and natural charms cu THE AMERICAN CLAIMANT. By Moen Tware. With 6) [bustrations by Ha: Hwenser and Dax Reseo. Crown Ovo, cloth extras: td MAD MARIAN AND ROBIN pose. & Bomanes of M6 Ghorweed Povest. J DpeCca W ith 17 IDustrations by Stan ley L we vod. Crown Ove, cloth extra, be. “A capital tale, fall of vigorous writing.”— Beorrien Leapea A ROMAWE OF THE NINE. Seonbadneee WY. & Base “ Hae real importance as « stedy of some of the Most un plessan( features of our time Gaarnn re A DOWNFALL. By Euue Transiated by Baweer A. Vecerecer Crown Svo, doth extra, &. 6d “The most wonderfully faithful reproduction of | @a historical drama ever committed to writing frecrat MY PLIRTATIONS. by By Mar- aey Weeman. With Le ustrations by J. Heewcee Paeratpes. Crown Sve th, de. 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———— Qcropgr 22, 1892.) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. | IN MEMORIAM. THE LAY OF A SUCCESSFUL ANGLER. | ane iy? Y . T daint ificial fi 7 33 : ; William Hardsoich Bradbury, | "Vesiened Yo catch the| "ho doube” “(pretence Bet when 1. seach y trout But yet m ise, without R~ .— at . y se, ou c | Bony, Dac. % 1832 Dump, Oor. 13, 1992 | Full loud Jaudabunt alii, | Isnot teem gnaneonedionss. : thece vic a | LaGE-HEARTED man, most loyal friend, I talk as well as anyone 0 victim te a fooli Art thou too gone—too early lost ? bout iff, pride, | Our comrade true, our aes bat! Abst Ge — fo ey is to | Prompt to inspire, console. end: ; t, the ‘ ; Gone! Hearts with memories stored . a hw ys - Let me confess, then, Ache for thy loss round the old board. since you ask ‘ y it— | The well-loved board he loved so well, Day Matt ~ A worm it is which His pride, his care, his ceaseless thought ; . fills my basket ! | To him with life-long memories fraught ; {| >. j . For him invested with the spell . ast! 0 brown, unlovely, wriggling | O'er a glad t ever cast . / worm | By solemn shadows of the past. W ‘ . / 2” On which he scorn the That past for him, indeed, was filled ay (ee . , It is th a With a proud spirit-retinue, + *\ ’ ih a. Which brings the fattest trout Greatness long since his guest he knew, . : . Vr to book, Whom THACKERAY’S manly tones had thrilled ; Ned i” xs From thee unable to refrain, Who heard keen JemRoip’s sparkling speech, |) \ Vip 7 , Though flies are cast for him in And marked the genial grace of Lezcn. : vain | What changes had he known, who sat " o! alll , With our four chiefs, of each fast friend! | —=4 12 ‘Hi Deep gratitude to thee I feel, A ed mut, such anes os ? - ’ And then, perhaps, it's chiefly Shall friendly counsel, cordial chat, SN ek ‘ % if ; Come nevermore agai to us — allt : i. | j When rival anglers view my fon Se = Dt And straightway turn a jealous | No more shall those blue eyes ray out ‘ — green ; Swift sympathy, or sudden mirth ; Discuss the worth of wings and hackle ; And, should they ask me—** What's That ever mobile mouth give birth I’ve flies myself of each design, our fly?” “A few pattern,” I reply! To frolic whim, or friendly flout ? No book is better filled than mine. Our hearts will miss thee to the end, —_—_— Amphitryon generous, faithful friend ! SWORD AND PEN; a Geshed_figues approached a” pesado. Miss thee ? Alas! the void that’s there 0 R CoMMANDE ground. e new-comer strode @ ws | No other form may bepe to fill, aematind nauey ainda eis bearing that suggested one accustomed to For those who now with sorrow thrill Future.) receive obedience. - the Di In gazing on that vacant chair ; ¢ p - , , , a» Go meyer asked the Dis- Waiter os he suns SOaED, Geen # 4 toot Bere was| “I can't my men to obey me,” ex- For whose warm hand-clasp yet we yearn. | sidered a fairly ier, bat not up| plained the Ca “T have been desiring Tribute to genius all may give, . ight know his drill, he might | them to take open order for the last ten Ours is io leueee of the heart ; read his "s Regulations, but he | minutes, and they remain as they were.” For a friend lost our tears will start, had vague ideas of the power of the Press. “What have they to say in their de- Lost to our sight, yet who shall live, * You see, Sir,” remonstrated his Colour- | fence?” was the inquiry of the Man in the | Whilst one who knew that bold frank face | Sergeant; “if the rear rank think they | Cloak. At the old board takes the old place. should. stand fast when you ive the com- . me weet etgswmpte Ronewapepere |" For those, his closer kin, whose home a |g Apa, ‘a right A eee - i“ Is this seal so?” ~~ = the new-comer Is darkened by the shadow grey, wrong z king for myself I am inclined | in a tone more of sorrow than of anger. ; What can respectful love but pray to fancy the men are making a mis-| ‘ Well, Sir,” returned the Captain, ‘ as it fant conan oe, , take ; a can’t always consider yourself | is ,, rae me Ceevice thas no a. ’ sacred ‘ omniscient.” cations s) sen e Press, oug’ Which natural sorrow sanc “Sergeant,” returned the officer, harshly ; that—” Pee Bereavement’s anguish to ‘it is not the business of men to argue, but | “You had no right to think, Sir! pew Is a sore task that lies bey to obey. : . ee |the sharp reply. “ Are you ao ienseeat | * The seope of friendship or most fond “Pardon me again, Sir, but isn’t that | you do not know that it is a birth-rig ae Affection’s power. Yet may this slightly old-fashioned? I know that theo- | a true-born Briton ‘to air his opinions in the True witness of our love and grie , retically you have reason on your side ; but | organs of publicity ? You will allow the men To bowed hearts bring some scant Telief ! then in these days of the latter end of ito go to their quarters at once, that they nineteenth century, we must not be bound | may state their grievances on paper. They too tightly to 2” are at perfect liberty to write what they ighty i i and th red that th | “ ANECDOTAGE.” soins ayain, Ut ia moustache, for the| plas, end, they may rot ar a of he | Companion Paragraph to Stories of the same kind.| Bat there was no response. The Company waste-paper basket.’’ Sh Curran, the celebrated Irish Patriot, was | moved not a muscle. Thus encouraged, the Company dismissed a man of intense wit and humour, On one| ‘This is mutiny!” cried the officer. ‘1 | without further word of command. oceasion he was discussing with RicHaRp| will break everyone of you. I will put you) “ And who may you be?” asked the Ca Beinstey SmeRrpan the possibility of com-| all in the cells; and in the orderly room to- | tain, with some bitterness. “Are you the bining the interests of the two countries| morrow morning, we will soon see if there is | Commander-in-Chief ?” " under one Crown. ‘It is a difficult matter | such a thing as discipline.” ‘*] am one infinitely more powerful,” was to arrange,” observed the brilliant author of} ‘* Discipline!” the Sergeant. |the reply. And then the speaker threw off the School for Scandal, ‘‘ Right you are, | ‘‘ Beg your , Sir, but I don’t think | his disguise-cloak, and appeared in morning- darlint,” aequiesced Cunray, with the least | the men understand what you mean. ‘The | dress. * Behold in me the Editor of an taste of a brogue. ‘* But where pdt to| word is not to be found in the most recent | influential Journal!” 80 a real find the spalpeens for it? Ye may w dictionaries.” A week later the Captain had sent in his poor a creature as a sow, but it And certainly things seemed to be reaching pepers, and every man in the Company gintleman to raise the rint!” Then, with a|a climax, for however much the Commander once commanded wore the stripe of a twinkle in his eyes, “But, for all that, ma| might shout, not one of ‘the rank and file | Lance And thus was the power of cruiskeen, I’m not meself at all at all!” stirred an inch. It was at this moment that | the Press once again sufficiently VOL. CI. R

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. — [Ocroper 22, 1892, | THE BATTLE OF THE BARDS; OR, THE LISTS FOR THE LAURELS. Proem. Tan-ta-ra-ra-ra-ra! The trumpets blare! The rival Bards, wild-eyed, with wind- blown hair, And close-hugged harps, advance with fire- winged feet For the green Laureate Laurels to compete ; The laurels vacant from the brows of him In whose fine light all lesser lustres dim. Tourney of Troubadours! The laurels lie On - velvet cushion couched on igh, “nn, Jy Whilst Punch, Lord- Warden of his country’s Porphyrogenitus at least he looks; Haughty as one who rivalry scarce brooks ; Unreminiscent now of youthful rage Almost ‘* respectable,” and well-nigh sage, Geuypy owns her once redoubte: foe, Whose polished paganry’s erotic flow, And red anarchic wrath ’gainst priests, an fame, Attends the to name. strains to hear, the victor-bard And first advances, as by right supreme, With frosted locks adrift, and eyes a-dream, With quick short footfalls, Pap al hythm heard to ri he virtate, and most oth “ proper” things c ri virtues, an er ngs, Foun Putney to Parnassus, a brief bard _ Once drew her frown where now her smile’: (In stature, not in song!) Though passion- bestowed. . scarred, , | Such is the power of timely palinode! and an arm

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| | Qcropern 22, 1893.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 183

Soft twanged his lyre and loud his voice out- rang, isthe first Bard this moving measure sang :— ON THE BAYS. (To the tune—more or less—o* ** In the Bay.”’) Beyond the bellowing ao of base war =< hope and faith may live at Some, bande pipe from Parnassus, some from Hermon ; , And then these jingling jays with plume- Room for the singer of the Sunday Sermon ! plucked His stimulant te id ten, his thane 0 text, conf ureate laurels are lovely Carmarthen’s cultured caroller comes next ! | Though er crowing lyric lauders of kings and THE WORTH OF VERSE. gods: Ain—" The Birth of Verse.” i Their L ee: wearer wendeth! With wild| Beshrew the blatant bleating of sheep-veleed | Wy thoughts which corner the brain, Palfilled of windy resonance, the roe Of the bent-aeee must dy my joust and ing chimes. he beyond the To win the wreath Bare not ps ony A ws he pe ope In these red, Il. And sooth the soft sheen of that death- less bay Gleams glamorous! — was I in my ay, Clamorous were But my fire, Chastened from To- pket-fumes, burns purer, higher ; My thoughts on cour- tier-wings might make their way Did my brow bear the laurels all these desire. It. For I, to the ties reconci Who hymned Dolores, sing the ** weanling child.” At “home- made treacle” I made mocking mirth ; That was before my better self hed birth. At virtue’s lilies and languors then I smi But Hertha’s not thine only goddess, O Earth! IV. For Fa | brother, not spring mee poetic garden’s rim parterre ; Though thou wert fond of sunshine and sweet air, More than of kisses, that burn, and bite, and sting ; Some living leve our nos for thee bare. an, toe, couldst ‘on ’ about her sweet salt | pet peans load to Liberty, With clamour of all applausive throats. Thy And t =i feet, Not wine- press red, yet left the flowers more re en ae coul land’s Fleet. I did not think fo Lorify kings, Who scourged them ity gods ot hate’s san- —,. | gulneous mimes percep be a True thunder shall strike dumb their chirp-. Dim pert pesturtateen. gleam of hope If there be laureate laurels, or bays, or palms, | These vex the poet the ear, a cil fear, — s spirit. Moral :— Radical, revelling, riotous times, | Have o chy at the Laurente Lenrel |

under praises of \ Some say “y — In my fall’ ee. Let National Obser- vers quiz | (H-w1-¥ won't have it, I'll be bound !) 0 trumpery, O Morris! Could Juvewatjealous be of Horace ? I know the chambers of my soul Are filled with landa- ai reate laurels wears. And I am he who | opened Hades, To harmless "Ste alot For I can * moralise And I san touch the a wamall ‘dn “4 t hele for him me oughe hs the | and’ cn for the Carmarthen Boroughs.

Ex, (on Pony). ‘‘Wa1i—nap coop Srort, Frep, orp Bor!” Tecpertoneed’ red." Mor ExACrLY ‘Goop,’"—sur I raInk I'VE LET OFF ABOUT A Nemsene ¢ CARTRIDGES.” I witch all women, and some men, “Nor so Bap, S'rose You MUST HAVE ‘LET orr’ AN nara O a, aad wot * Gwen, If these be not sufficient claims, The worth of Verse is vastly small. | 1 9p culled bien veotous pestty names, and! The honoured Master of Hr poe 4 “* His place is with the Immortals.” Yes! Bat I could fill it here, I guess! His “‘ chaste white Muse” could not object, For mine is white, and awfully chaste NUMBER OF PARTRIDGES ! a =< should be the true bard’s, though mid. | His revolutionary fierce selling rhymes, Fulfilled with clamour and clangour storm of —psalms pre ore Trim, trpped an tintinnabulant, Now ALoxrwow has no respect Ly bosom aped the true Parnassian peat, . mo purity and yee taste. s may a housemai bellows i ven to y fH DWI™N is gi allegory, Tory!!!

echoes rolled away ! oe e of the bay. | Ce ene. ~. whelmed Titan’s breathings. He whilst Atraep isa Of bard-like shagginess p deed to Cho lense. | He wee Purwcursvs rubbed his on ” Adon d, *T think well take the rest next dandy-daintiness, led tndy-daitone, he te

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184 IN A GHOST-SHOW. W arlock’s ** Celebrated Ghost- Exhibition and Deceptio Visus” has | pitched its tent for the night on a Village Green, and the Barn, tn three long Acts, with unriv Spectral Effects and Tilusions,” is about to begin. The Dramatis Persone are on the platform outside ; the venerable Mr. Mantis is exhorting the crowd to step up and witness his domestic tr dy, wo the injured Manta t taking the twopences at the Wirt ConDER ts finis a pipe, and two of the An Visione are dancing, m np Bh ayant silver braid, to de. air of ** The Bogie Man.” Iwerpe. The front benches are occupied by Rustic Youths, who the tedium of waiting by smoking short clays, and trying to pull off one another's caps. First Youth (examining the decorative Shakspearvan panels on proscenium). They three old wim- nis be a- o that old nipper, ‘ooever he [The ‘old nipper”’ in question is, of course, MaceETH Second Youth. Lak up at that ’un totes side—it’s a Gineral’s gho-ast tenin’ th’ undertaker (4 sub- (The company dese pass behind the scenes.) e shall Bee r ‘ere, we shall. ies Curtain draws up, and reveals stage, with an inclined sheet pw thes ia heavy tthe Cottage t wt Pe mee of Manta Ma y Co ad aria (coming out of Cottage, a speaking m an inaudible tone). At last .. + Wrtuam Conver... to make me his wife... I know not why... strange misgiving ‘as come over me. [She ts unfeelingly requested to speak William Corder (whose villany is suggested ct once by his wearing a heavy silver double watch-chain, with two coins a ae Yes, Manta, as I have promi will take you to London, and make you my wife—but first meet me in disguise to-night, and in secret, at the Red Barn. {Manta is understood to demur, but finally agrees to the rendezvous, and retires wmto the Cottage, Old Mr. MARTIN comes out in a black frock- coat, and a white waistcoat —he has no neck-tie either, but the omission, in his case, merely suggests a virtuous economy. He feebly objects to Maria being married in London, but admits that, *‘ Perhaps he has with WILLIAM’ 8 arrangements,” and goes indoors retires, and the scene changes to a very small street, which ws presently invaded by a very large Comic Cibo cated te who is engaged to Manta’s sister Nanny. y, tell I, as how the streets o’ Lunnon be paved wi’ gold, peril ’oop to make ma fortune, I be. . and no neck-tie— and I be PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. | thrilling Drama of ‘* Maria Martin, or The Murder in the Red | “ They catch one another’s wrists, and walk up and down together.” no right to interfere | nm, WILLIAM | [Ocropern 22, 1892, his pre-determined purpose,” and that “ the grave gon pepe or its victim.” in Sok Spit suit Im- coming Enter Manta, @ brown bowler hat and a very of toed dion,” tm sohich she looks very like the personator” at a Music-halil, The receive her Se 6 i cocnamitn intmelon tell cut. Maria. Here am I in disguise at the Red Barn. And yet some- can shake him, now, thing seems to whisper to me that danger isnear. WILLIAM, where, where are you? William (coming out of a corner). Ere, Marta, ’ere! Now to ’ur my victim to an early grave! (Aloud.) ag ad gag em avoided notice Maria. Whenever I saw anyone approaching, I hid ( Aside.) "Ave you | bohted « hedge ana ducked ta the dite h. Wilkam (with sombre approval). That was most discreet on your part, Marra. No one saw you come in, and no one will ever see you goout. Be’old your grave ! [After some from oe © sapere Fg Pred takes e— is, | any ed ne and walk wp and Maria calls upon down her ‘Mothers y ae 3 whereupon ingel is seen floating The Female S. riumphantly). bey now—theer ain’t bin no m et, and theer ‘a th’ Gho-ast sure enoug ! Swain (who ts not to own that ain’t naw Female 8. What is it, then? Swain. Why, Semas © De-ap-ti-s Vissus,”’ as was wrote up ou [The Guardian Angel vanishes ; “Wu- LIAM gets a spade, and aims at Mart, who takes it away, of strikes him; he is then r Sace with it. "Me pulls her coat off, and her hair down—but she escapes oes him a third time—on which he snatches ? a pistol, and abe it. William (with unr Great Evans! What ‘wee T dame? j amp Sesepe 0 AEDES The shot ’as taken effect! See, whether I loved her most while livi or hate her most now she’s dead! (7' Curtain falls, leaving WiLL with this nice point still unsolved, and the Audience profoundly unmoved by the tragedy, evidently longing for more of the Comic pF yer mag Act III.—ZInterior of Old Mantin’s Cottage. He attempts to forget his anziety about his daughter—who he fears, with only too much come $e an untimely ond ty guing. te, sie © 2 highly uncomfortable position on a kitchen-chair, The Murder is re-enacted in a vision, in dumb-show. The form of appears in the tweed suit, and urges him to search for her remains in the Red Barn. Old Martin (awaking). I have ’ad a a Steet dream, and | am under the impression Maxi has been foully murdered in the [Nanny somes Se and bribes him to resuain iy the promise of “cold Red Barn. Comic which iat (and _ ‘are eo is ‘ 1Lu1aM ConDER, on t¢ to take some flowers up to a. pudden with plenty of gravy.’ ev reference to “* cold recewed with roars of jag nious plea that he wishes bevews 6 spade aes, Habito om Tin, fo whom ita she owes ninepence, which he Fas the villain is—to “ the very next time he sees hin i in church +: Wikam (going off with « ith and a Shakspearian couplet), My mind’ ‘o waade up. ence all thoughts that are good ! Crimes once commenced, Must, End in—blood ! [Act drop. A Female Spect. They don’t seem in no ’urry to come to th’ Gho- ast seemin’ly, ter Bean . Ye wudn’t have ’em do th’ Gho-ast afoor th’ Murder, I The interior o ‘the Red Barn, Wrt11aM discovered digging Maxia’s grave in his shirt-sleeves, and thereby voces that his shirt-front is as false as his heart, He announces that ‘* Nothing Ez Me anno, cons changes tothe to the eo 2 calls the Comic Count to he Gare Soatestee i ehich. he Bed bar en ay, occasion, as the Scene

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Ocrosen 22, 1892.) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL 185 has to bo aareiee, 4 As a pair of pistols exactly eee Oe was left in the Red Barn, are found in his coat-tail pockets ; guilt 1s conclusivel proved, and he is led away. The next Scene shows him in the Condemned Ci ell, ome yoy away his few remaining hours on a kitchen-chair. Hi: @ vision of Manta in tweeds, who exhorts him to repent. Old the Governor 0” the pnd the Hangman the scaffold, and on y the Comic, C. his head tolemnly, points , enters to conduct him to the way he is met—to the joy of the Audience— whe dame im for the ninepence. ILLIAM shakes to the skies, and passes on. The Comic C. then goes Sa uie> ond ee aie on own account, £5 ioe Rag Maria—still in the suit of dittoes—and by a Sg gy i Anges ond alee pref = pam Wag Centum, cher who, under an enlarged “ Pune the following tae im- pressive ‘favo before dipper ir , a trap. Ye Youth, be warned ad by m Avoid bad yh (This little vou hard on poor Maxis by-the-way) is just a ou would shun my fate, alae ie ne if ou the mien we "5 wise too late ! BETWEEN THE ACTS; OR, THE DRAMA IN LIQUOR. Scunzr—Refreshment Saloon at a London Theatre, A thr bill forms the evening’s entertainment. First Act over. Brown, Jones, and Roprnson. Brown. ie gery a very plosmeat little piece. Quite“amusing. Yes; I think I will have a cup of coffee or a glass of lemonade, Too soon after dinner for anything ing #0 much, one gets 1 thirst Jones. Yes, and reall , after ight refreshments. I will have some ginger- for what they call eer, Robinson. Well, I think I will stick to iced-water. You know the Americans are very fond of that. oy ee eee times, and really after 1 that capital uite satisfied. (They weal the Bar Attendant. Thatwan 'y very funny, where he hides behind the door when she is not recollection. [Laughs at ote Brown, And when the uncle sits down upon the ae 77 box and crushes the canary-cage Jones. Most clever. Bat there the bell, and the outan mill be up direetly. clever, I am told. The Rose Rose of Rowen—i is founded on the life of Joan of Arc. I am rather od of those historical studies. interesting. Brown. 80am. They are v Robinson. Do you think so? ell, so far as I am concerned, I oy fer Melodrama. Judging from the title, The Gory Hand should uncomm good. After a pause they return to the [ Exeunt LE Theatre. ~ Room. Brown. Well, it is very clever; but I confess it beats me. (70 Bar Attendant.) We all take soda-water. No, thanks, quite neat, and for these ae too. Jones, Well, I call it a most excellent perebelogical study. However, wants a clear head to understand it. his ~~ water.) I don’t see how she can take the flag from vi ? Bishop, and yet want to marry the Englishman. Robinson. Ah, but that was before the vision. rey ou think it over carefully, you will see it was natural eno Of course, you must allow for the spirit of the period, and surroun circumstances. Brown. Are you going to stay for The Gory Hand? Jones. NotI. Iam tired ft pupading, and think’we have had enough of it. strong scenes, and it should be good, to judge from the programme. Jones. Well, we will ‘‘sit out.” It’s rather ‘gruesome. different from the, other Robinson. Well Oe ee as eee There goes the bell. So Iam off. Wait until I come back. Brown. praia ve acteree teh eae he T alii Romo. Jones. Now, how a fellow can a oe a It is full of murders, all of the (404 Stooan tops the “apsias ine 0s porta 2 La Countryman t udience ive the performance a good word to their friends outside. “ Robinson. pe PR tt ew Se I am rather fond of | h I cannot | Drury Jones. No—it sent my Maiden Aunt in poeteetee. However, it his|has the merit of being short. (4 Ah, there it’s over! Let ’s see how Rosuwsow likes it, faba ed othe starving- expiring under rack awful! (inter Rename, staggering in.) Why, my boy, oy Have something to drink? That , who is now either | the Brown. You do ook scared OES ae toa ate | (wut his head, ~The help { (ifr s tone'chedaery Becnae ne ills a lapwa ee -' Inviwe was right; soda-water does well for SuaksPRare’s histories, but when you come to a like Bells, you require supporting. Curtain and meral. am, horror) Brandy Sor alcohol. “IN A WINTER (COVENT) GARDEN.” T ee Showman, Sir Davatoranvs, the Invincible Covent i ana Bn Most Gracious Orgxatic Tactics. Sir Druriolanus. “1 Say, Bevignani, I think we ‘ve got the right pitch, eh ?” Rusticana of course encored enthusiastically. * Bignor Cremon- wnt,” quoth Wace, io , “is not half the ‘ninny’ his name implies. And, indeed, from moment he was heard singing “in his ambush ” (as the Irish bo boy in the Gallery said of Tom Honnen at the Dublin Theatre when he heard the 7rovatore’s voice behind the scenes) before the rise of the Cartain, everyone said, ‘‘ This is the tenner for our money.’ Tuesday.—The namesake of our own Groner Avovustvs, Mille. Rostta Sata, made a real hit as Leonora in Ii Trovatore. * Hand- some is as handsome does,” and Mile. Sata didn’t act as * handsome” as she looked. Another ‘‘ninay” played to-night, namel Gian- NINMI, all right vocally, but not much dramatically. ‘' J/ Balen” was en when sung by a manly baritone with the feminine name of Anna; «¢., Signor De Anna. He might advantageously alter De- Arwa to APOLLO, that is if he could be sure of looking the part. —ILo in. MELBA as ‘omqt W acastTar¥ tried to on the name of Ortruda, but was ‘‘ countered”’ that he had heard it before and =3 know what you re foing te say,” ras about ‘aught ruder | now!" the defrauded Wasor, a cally, oad = " y; ied W acesTarr. Chorus seemed to have become Wandering Minstrels, so very , his Provincial Provincial Theatre’ hk is Italian Opera, House, bat his weekly oe out of it) re —— for which a ee licence has —be havi him on the back with a !” and then he will have another and Sir Gus's more, or in abbreviated

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| 186 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL. (Ocromen 22, 1892) | THE HEIGHT OF EXCLUSIVENESS. Miss Prunes. ‘An, Docron, TaHesx Hien Scmooirs are sapLy uixep! But, unpER wr CARE, I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT YOUR Lirrne® WARD WILt associate witn Davenrers or Geyriauew onty!/” The Doctor. ‘* Tuat, MapaM, Is TO BE Seuect InpEED; since I BeLreve PALLAS ATHENE ALONE FULFILLED SUCH A CONDITION. [ For pedigree of Pallas Athene vide Classical Dictionary—Art. ‘* Minerva.” COLUMBUS. Cotvmscs! The newspapers never will drop NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE | This subject; we wish, as months roll on, —_ | Corvmaus! We read of him every day, | Some common bacillus had put a full stop ENGLISH POLICE. ws books, popehiots magasines, papers | Long ago to Don Cunistonat Coroy! (Freely Adapted from the Trish Rules.) hilst Italy, Portugal, Spain, U.S.A 1, ConstaBLes who are required to inter- Cat constant, ed last “ ANECDOTAGE.” fere in a street-row must have fourteen days’ month with re- Companion Paragraphs to Stories of the same kind. a= au views on the| Sre Waxrer Scorr was never so well | of the disturbance. main pleased as when meeting a brother author. 2. Policemen will On the land with Dae day he passed by a gauger, who was so| parade the streets from processions—a| careless in his duties that the author of | 124.m. to 4P.m., but will : quaint row. | Waverley was able to smuggle into Edin- make themselves scarce y Such the fétee, aptly | | bargh some whiskey that = supposed never | in the event of pasting called ve paid duty. On reaching Abbots-| a pesty peeconsion French “* tee ae ford, ‘*the Wizard of the North” was in-| noti e holding te a 4 4 Genes,” formed that he had met one of the greatest | public demonstration. Fast accomph, good ts of North Britain. ‘So I ”| 3. Hyde Park, Trafal- ' } ~— 9S mews gene | a “It must have been Bunws.”’ | gar Square, and all other trop! Sir WaLrer was right—it was Burns. fashionable trysting- But never say die; now Huelva goes on, | places, shall be considered without pe Piienl New York follows, steady and sober Prrr, the you , and Fox were both fond | of Police een at times of tical And Chicago makes ready for more , | of port wine, and ost noopportunity of indulg- | excitement. one | ing in their favourite beverage. Meeting at; 4. Constables shall not te on land Fétes tk t till, at least, next October! a 8 ay Prrr (being in | ~ apart re — c's gatherings except straite circu: ces nals es am ves. CoLumBvs, your search for a sort of New Cut | | should play for a bottle o sherry." No.” labours of the Police shal) not com- Was meant for the best, we don’t doubt it ; “ Claret!” 4 No harm in y Sewn. & ag dietie but be Me) ee re gad | mence ait will be let to the sagacity of th You might have eal Nine abeat it. ' the rival Statesmen succumbed to intoxication. on send will poms wis aagutiiy of the Still, had eo not found a location for clam, on, the well-known philan- = —s that the Constables are off duty. Canvas back, buckwheat cakes, we shoald th was acoustomed to visit the prisons.| 6. absence of the Civil Power, it sorter note op oy Re mst 0. well Known] will bo considered cos to essional Have mlensd the acquaintance of ’eute Uncle | fo ‘What he was in| etiquette for any respectable member of the mh tA. came reason that you are eriminal cases to carry om his unimpeded And ‘hie fearless, free, fragile, fairdaughter. oat,” was the smart, but uncourteous reply. | vocation. *(‘bop) MOLETEAOUND INeeaug wae .. *7 59 TT '‘sryawwadcyty AMVL oo wry Ia’T ISOW I ‘WI —T5 it Tews || ats “rus ion Will cea

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—Ocrosger 22, 1892. THE WHITE ELEPHANT. Present Prorareror (/og.). *‘ SEE HERE, GOVERNOR! HE’S A LIKELY-LOOKING ANIMAL,—BUT Z CAN'T MANAGE HIM! TAKE HIM, | MUST LET HIM Gorr”

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 189

THE CREAT UNKNOWN. The Rev. Dr. Suyvruz Parmer, of Trinity College, Dublin, has just compiled a b ok of Extrecte, enti The | Perfect Gentleman. } | A Gewruemaw must be | liberal, not to say —_= | to servants, | keepers, chem. a be or he | is“ nogent.” At the same time the Perfect Gentleman vis never extravagant. He must not work. At the same time he must not be an idler. He is known by his scrupulous attention to the | Ocroszr 22, 1892.) so sufficiently artful to conceal the fact that he considers the person he is talking to a ates of a snob and a blockhead. When his favourite corn is trodden on by a weighty stranger, he never utters any expression than “Tear me!”

He never loses his temper. He must know how to treat everyone according to rg bm situation in ife, but s ow special cour- tesy to those who are his inferiors. He must be well-born, although there are Va | of “* Nature’s Gen’ in the ranks ate day- labourers,

some ‘orRID Waite Srvrr!! i] 1 teint . : a = a HIS BEST “ S0OT. P Gentleman in Black (after violent collision with a Stonemason fresh Srom work), “ Now, 1’°Lt ARSK YOU JEST TO LOOK AT THE NARSTY BEASTLY Mess AS YOU'VE GONE AND MIDE ME InN! Way, I'M SIMPLY SMOTHERED IN WHY Don’r YER BE MORE CAREFUL!!!” He must be sufficient] wealthy to keep up « good position, while recognising the fact that money has poe to do with true “—. should alee toy ond He remember no such jumble of oats as the Perfect ever € EPIGRAMMATICALLY Pot. ATW hae erent oad .'8 i the lums and Fever Hospi * Which is right, oF which is paraphrase Mr. Mowtalin: words, is no business just now of — * safe S wat reply t Spl ES wy Ctra at he ase Boel ** Mr. Cxatcuen my rx Waxzs,””— ht mao. Me. a — to say, when speak - ing on this subject, was that ‘* but a comparatively > rent in Wales would uced by Disesta ot i t, whenever that event should ha that this w mended.” soon be Temperance Rippie.— te .e a man who is ay mee -natured 9 ever y to oblige, likely to end as a con- firmed drunkard’ Because he is always willing.

A USEFUL EXPERIENCE, I awoxe at one in the morni I had been two hours in When—bang amy | any warning A joke came into <4 ’T was brilliant, awfully funny, It flashed through my drowsy b rain, It was worth—oh, a lot of money !— I chuckled again and again. I a how I might employ i . I laugh a = tears ral ea. oreseeing how SMITH w oy i And how it would tickle Baoee, it * To them or they” night puro ° , or they t This wonderful jest, t it, And between them divi coin.” Late tenants aang a Puzzled with all my t In vain to recall the joke Made in the silent night. What was it about? No dreamer AmI! No—I think—I frown— When next I make a screamer In bed—J will write it down. By tae the of Sevted otuuer ever with matches be, A pencil and piece of 1 9 note whad eouue OF uabi

Since then I have tried but ee. late joke, | ye th ores 5 k 8 always so —that the at joke, I’ weave, a ey P

YES OR NO? (“The hand-writing of well-educated Ladies is often disgracefully illegible.”"—A Ladies’ Journal.) Ou, never did lover in fable In such a predicament stand, A letter I wrote to my | To ask for her heart and her hand, With compliments hy pee 80 nicely, A lifelong devotion I She's answered—and tame me precisely As wise as before ! It is true that I begged, when inditing My note, a reply with all And Mazt, to judge from the writing, Fulfilled my petition indeed! The drift of this — 80 —— ef ompa patio, ** Affection ” she ’ll feel for me ae od But stay—if that blot is an “* It turns it at once into “never,” Or is it a slip of the pen ?

Her heart will a “‘ truant (or true ?) be,” And what is the word just above ? It looks like—it cannot be—"* booby ”’ | Perhaps it is “love.” A meeting must needs be awaited To re these mysteries plain ; Perhaps in this letter she’s stated She never will see me again ; On one thing at least I’ve decided ;— Should she be m ner for life, A type-writer “hall be provided For the use of my prorat

The German and Horse-trying Ride. (“ Most of the horses were — ey but prop- in, ee ge ae against a wall or a post.”— S conden , October 12th.) henriea haidiahs dilatinatiait Whose trembling limbs support him ’gainst a wall; Who oan ou,—f future trials worse— pe a eae shot,—that’s all.

A Corresporpent signing “ InwocewTra Docerr,” wants to know if ‘‘ the Hab of the Universe” is an official « tment that can only be held by a or a Mormon ?

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ee _ 190 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Ocropen 22, 1892,

| Trist”’ on the German print), *‘ The Saylor’s Return,” “ Th, CONVERSATIONAL HINTS TO YOUNG SHOOTERS. | Wario's Dreem,” Napoicon at Arcola,” and so forth. ’ Point te (By Mr. Punck’s own Grouse in the Gun-room.) | a china-ornament and say, ‘‘ I never knew cows in this part of the | country were blue and green.”” Then after you’ve exhausted the Ann, next, my gallant young Sportsmen, just sharpen up your | cow, milked her dry, so to speak, you can take a turn at the engray- attention, and, if you have ears, prepare to lend them now. Be, in | ings, and make a sly hit at the taste in art generated fact, allears. At any rate, get yourselves as near as possible to that | education. Hereupon, someone is dead certain to chime in with the desirable condition, for we are going to diseuss shooting-lunches, veteran grumble about farmers who educate their children above and all that pertains to them. ink of it! Are not some of your their station by allowing their daughters to learn to play the piano, happiest memories, and your most delightfal anticipations, bound up and their sons to acquire the rudiments of Latin: ‘Give you my with the mid-day meal, at which the anxieties and disappointments word of honour, the farmers’ daughters about my unele’s place, get of the morning, the birds you missed, the birds that, h their dresses made by my aunt’s dressmaker, and thump out old got up in front of you, were shot by your jealous neighbour, the wiped- Waewer all day long.” This horrible picture of rural depravity eyes, the torn ; ; ad _. will cause an animated in the thorn-bushes, | discussion. When it at which, as I say, | all these are forgotten, | when you lay aside your gun, and sit | down a | repose. en it is) li —————_ = the that the talker shines | - : oS i. — é “Ah, my boy,” supreme. e Ae HEVa CHALMERS, conversation which | fa « i S = a’ll find there's may have been broken ons g 7 0 4 é ei in upon during the : | ARTICLES morning by the neces- ; . wat Towers sity for ing your- “i -_ f ; sa r LETTE self at the hot corner,| 'TL® Lis CONTR. ae AS , A wa ye | or the grassy ride, or| =a 44 PA Ai vT a a _ ae in the butt, or for = 7 —_< polishing off a right and left of partridges, can then flow free and uninterrupted. Ah, happy moments, when the bad shot | becomes as the good, | and all distinetions | are levelled! How well, how gratefully do | remember you! Still, in my waking fancies, there rises to my nose a savoury odour, telling of stew or hot-pot, and still the crisp succulence of the jam tartlet has honour in my memory. Ah, tempi passati, ital iat 2 tempi passati'’ But) Z f , 5 Me a ee hd - y away, fancy, and to Y, ave ex our work, which is to ee A?” Or, : ference speak of — Suootrne-LuNcHEs in their relation to talk 1.) Be extremely careful, unless you pe a IN THE RUE DE LA PAIX. 0 ou wi ah. shooting- Hairdresser, “‘Say Tams, Sane zat you arg Ras£—Saave,—is iT THaT I sHaLu cur lunch, not to express | YOU orr your "Arn!" to him before lunch Mr. Brown (an old-fashioned Englishman, on his first Visit to Paris—startled). ‘‘ Her! any very definite) WaaT! Ccr my Harr orr! Nono, Mossoo—comraerny?!—nsona! Do vou Tuink I want opinion as to what the | TO Look LIKE ong or your Frencn Poopizs?” best kind of lunch is. ; — J If, for instance, you rashly declare that, for your own part, you | tear himself away from effeminate luxuries, and the trick ’s done. detest a solemn sit-down-in-a-farmhouse lunch, and that your But this subject is so great, and has so many varieties, that we ideal is a sandwich, a biseuit and a nip out of a flask, and if | must recur to it in our next. a — pew) nor! < me Te = at a —- table, w ou’ in a bit a . sistency woul s “ you to abshcan, egpetite wager you fo ant. What nu poor taliter te TO OUR GUERNSEY CORRESPONDENTS. do ? Obviously, be must get out somehow. Here is a suggested Puwcn is sorry to find that his fancy sketch of a Guernsey method. Begin by admiring the room. ive has been taken so seriously in some quarters as to ome * By Jove, what a jolly little room this is. It’s as spick and span | pain and offence which were very far from being intended. He as a model dairy. I wiah you'd take me on as your tenant, Cuat-/to assure the honourable fraternity of Car- etors and drivers wens, when you ’ve got a vacancy.” li i he did not mean to for a moment that CraLuens will say, “* It’s not a bad little hole. Old Mrs. Nusprzs | test real danger to public who patronise keeps things wonderfully spruce. This is one of the cottages I built | i and excellently-conducted vehicles, or that five years ago.” any actual driver was either intem or incompetent ; and that, There's your first move. Your next is as follows. Every rustic- | should such an impression have unfortunately produced— cottage contains presume china-ornaments and excruciating-cheap which he _is impossible—no one would regret so unjust a2 German-prints of such subjects as ‘‘ The Tryst” (always spelt ‘‘ The | aspersion more sincerely than Mr. Punch himself.

——

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OcTOBER 22, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. THE GOLFER’S

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192 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. —_—___ [Ocroper 22, 1892. LADY GAY’S SELECTIONS. Mount Street, Grosvenor Square. Dean Mr. Powcu,— Your marvel- lous jadgment in the selection of your ** staff ’—(I believe that is the correct term to use in speaking of those who | write for the paper, _ thoagh asarule a) staff is famed —s ~ which I am | sure none of your Contributor are !— I can answer for one! wal yews 7 ou in the pion a - ournals, viz.,—(why d * viz..” and ‘not - namel silly!) that of affording ** information” given by no other Journal! All of which preamble means. —(by the wa why ** pre- ~amble” —if one is « 7 writer, why not “‘ pre-canter” ?)—that | Punch, in the person of it, Gar—| it i a | (that may seem a little mixed, but it | % | | was the only Sporting Paper ian t | which tipped the winner of the Cesare- | witch |! For confirmation of this I refer the seeptical to my last week's letter, in which I stated that i in dreaming of the race | dreamt that ‘ came to the rescue "’—and if this is not giving the winner, I should like to know what is! It is true I made Brand ** verse selection,” but that would only mislead the people who go no further than the surface (not of the brandy), as anyone who gave the matter a | moment's thought would realise that | Brandy is always applied » poe I hear there was a ** ton of money ” for | the winner just before the start, but I did not see anyone carrying it ‘about. | io! =e 5 it was what they call | had to take, willy-nilly, or Honson’s | | CY NOTICE. —Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Picturss of any description, in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by s Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, cs Wrapper. To this * coverin ” which, I presume, is covered omni or safety, as it would be risky to walk about a race-course with a ton of loose money—not that I suppose anyone who goes racing “would | touch it, but it might be lost! ay ot how, there was a ton of money for winner after the race, which his owner | “IT say, Guv'ver ! c hoic “ DIGNITY AND IMPUDENCE. WHEN ARE YOU GOING | DOWN FOR HALTERATIONS AND Repairs?” The pleasantest nent Sarees of the meet- ing. however, was the re-appearance of H.R.H. the Prince of Watzs, — was also pleasantly marked by one of his horses winning a race | ! The Public having anxiously ‘‘ watched” for H.R.H., the success of The Vigil was received with enthusiasm ! Next week takes us to Gatwick and uae Taal rather = train takes yt wa Netionsl ef Sport “te too it d ational a it de- mands the two most desirable quali- and endurance— racing has speed is the only requisite !—but more of this anon—but not anonymous, as I be- lieve in signed articles, as the appren- tice said! (Not Braprorp!) aan $ pete race at ot place to go ots 0 room to move about in hire: om — Pound Haadicap) in’ in Lo Pye - randy is worth keeping an eye as she ought to beat Burnaby at the differen weights — other ight make their mark —( y now the ground is soft)—are, Pulot, Garter—(J never “ef extravagance as 5 tg Might conel evitable rhythmical winner, from Yours devotedly, Lapy Gay. OrLeans Nursery SELECTION. THE man who would a wd other na but a horse Is certainly Tanderagee ! -y comers will TO BR TOOK MY SEASON TICKET. Ever against my breast, Pockets I search in vain Safe in my pocket pressed, | All through and through Ready at my behest, | “ Pray do not stop i train— Daintily pretty Lost it this morni Gilt print piece of leather, No, I have not a ca Though fair or foul the weather, Nor can I pay. yor you, ¢ Guard— Daily we go together Truly my lot U » to the City. This ie the meson.” Yet, as I ride at ease, | Now I recall to mind Papers strewn on my knees, | © ‘hanging my clothes, I I find And I hear ** Seasons, please : bh I left them all behind, Shouted in warning : Money, cards, ‘Season.’ WRITTEN A HUNDRED YEARS HENCE. From a Collection of Communications supplied by our Prophetic Compiler.) Dean Ma. Powcen,—Pray protect the Griffin! Vandals, the Members of the Corporation of the City of London, will remove it, unless you intervene. This beautiful work of ‘Art, that stands on the supposed site of the mythical Temple Bar, is to were here ? Every universal ome down. What would our ancestors say if the Would they not frown at their degenerate descendants ? student of history knows that this Griffin was put up consent, and considered one of the finest works of art of the nine- | whit more nonsensical It is full of historic memories. | Emmanuel Hospital that were ted com in the nineties. You t WELLINcTOW met Naroteon after Waterloo; and | may make = use you please of this teenth century. As, indeed, it was. It was here here, again. was the Volunteer Movement ina ugurated, Mr. oop sepeeeaer- Alderman Wart Triex, patting himself at the head of the citizens,’ The Earth (Branc Those Goths and on cheers for oe te te a the Anti-Corn- oe beautiful reliefs used to represent npnt the their —— are tenderly Serched +~ — d the called for ‘ — ae .| If the Corporatio tion must pull recently-erected Memes He Hoos’ but spe spare, bp iy A Sropent or THe Lore or tHe NivereentH CENTURY. The Palace, Brixton. Dean Mr. Powcn,—lIt is time for a protest! One of the most beautiful erections of the nineteenth century (the old South Kensi ton Railway Station of the District District Railyay) is to be removed! Instead of the picturesque ue iron roof, we are to have some abomina- tion in stone ! (Gan this be? It is said to be falling to pieces under of Time. Dean Bilietere ana not let it be , yn" Art and veneration for the antique — the bea would ~ ber dy rd Ah ayy all with a soul for Art and a min fn Rrmmeciating, the po Ral, efforts of genius in its highest beng This must not be. Burlington House, Yours truly, A Royar AcaDEMIcIAy. From 1 to 1000, Piccadilly. , Daag it. Svanend cr oo abventngs of ine etters ore publi am of opinion y are than letters about the and the “Tae Spratt oF THe Past. Ament, Man and Jupiter). —— there will be no wil rule

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PUNCH, OR Li a iS ae wee 22, 1892. CURIOUS OLD HIGHL LAND WHISKIES . « 7 0 15 895 years is wood. Pe ye des. 48/- 60/- 72/- 120/- , in recom- , no ‘account should Whisky s well matured. vane List on application to MOREL BROS., COBBETT & SON (LIMITED), 210, PICCADILLY; 18 & 19, PALL MALL; 143, REGENT ST. Whisky Bonded Stores, Inverness, N.B. H. CLAUSEN & SONS’ CHAMPAGNE LAGER BEER. Brewed and bottled in New York. TO BE OBTAINED AT THE PRINCIPAL HOTELS AND RESTAURANTS. Agent, H. A. BRUNETTI, %, SEETHING LANE, E.C, — FRERES’ FIRST QUALITY EN HAIR COLDEN AUREOLINE PERFECTLY HARMLESS. old by Perfumers and Chemists throughout the World. Agents: R. HOVENDEN & SONG, Lownen, Crore re a _ Plate Powder) SUN “ME UKIAL jhe pF siivE oR BCT HO: x GOLD in Boxes, lente Gl, mays. 0. For oe INVANTS, InvalaDa. cs NEAVE’S FOOD 322 BEST AND CHEAPEST. ESTABLISHED 1825. “EXCELLENT—of Great Value."— Lancet, June 15, 1889. ue | CONCENTRATED Gold Medals, 1884, 1886. PEPTONIZED sx" COCOA ano MILK Tins, ls. 6d. and 2s. 6d., obtainable everywhere. SAVORY & MOORE, LONDON. FLORILINE. |machiven a camenows 6 MACNIVEN & CAMERON'S PENS FOR THE TEETH AND BREATH. Rye the Outs ond thet ee ven. Is the BEST LIQUID DENTIFRICE in the World. e — wat of the T EETH. PEAKLY WHITER 4. and is. per Box, ot all Stationers. and Sample Box of all kinds, is. 1d. by Post. Waverley Works, EDINBURGH. Penmakers to Her Majesty's Government Ufices. HOOPING BOUGH, |. CROUP. Prevents the coners the lc + x Of all Chemists and Perfumers world. d. 24. 64. per bottle. FLOBILINE z T00Ts FF ~~, scaly, aw ADAMS'S FURNITURE ot Honey, and extracts and plants. th h tthe RAZORS , “Tar oo (the Lady’ . Biswepeper) “teste Ro Beld by Grocers, -- Lal Oilmen, &e. Manufactory—SHEFFIELD. QUIRE GRINDING. VY I E. (atth leg, l« *’ 4, ‘\weseses eee ‘ * . * - * *#e oP iy “Ss uw 7 4 7 ean ~ «2 "Me rennh oot Seid only in l-ounce Packets, and *, 4, 6 ounce, and 1-1. Tins, which keep the Tobacco in fine emcking condition. Ask at all Tobacco Sellers’, Stores, &c., and take no other SMOKERS ARE CAUTIONED AGAINST IMITATIONS. The Genuine bears the Trade-Mark, “ Wottingham Castle,” oz every Packet asd Tis, PLAYER'S NAVY GUT GICARETTES, \s Packets containing 12, and Bozes of 21. The following extract from the “ Review or Revigws,” Nov, 10, is of interest to every Smoker THE PIre LS THE WOLKMBOUSE—The'pictare érawn by cur Helper of the poor aid man is the workhouse. puffing away at an empty pe, has toecbed the hearts of same of our vientsa. One Who dates from the Migh Alps, and signs himself “ Old Screw,” says: “ I hpve been strack With your mz gestion im the October pumber cf the Keview or Revirws for a scheme to mpply smokers it Union work bouse with tobaces. J am afraid. judged by the ordinary stapdards, I am the most selfish of mustals, as 1 pated thre’ + purposes of so-called charity, but this gheme of yours appeals at once to the hapdened and inveterate smoker, Were | in London, | would at once start a colle ting box mn Sete Get.ant ae comtributions for it on my Wut, unfortunately, my business smoking acquain cance, pata no bea yy, ——— the Continent for the next nine mohths. I can, however, do 4 ttle, T SMOKING TOBACCO, te contribute « pound of what | consider the Tee yeavT cor" (this is not an advertisement). peat GLEN DUCAL WHISKY free from Som ete, and genatne te er It possesses taining Gon., for first extra apality, @. Carriage stations frem London by remittance with order. %, SNOW HILL, LONDON, BC Our Entirely New LADIES, °s.cacciionn woot DRESS FABRICS WOOL A Bet of the a poteeene (incl udin double width, dey 7 black, am or money HENRY PEASE & ASE & CO. ' SUCCRS., The Mills, Darlington. TENERIFE. (S385%) CIGARS. *MEPUNLICA A Delicious Weed of a coon pi . Mild, Aromath and Delicate. (Awarded Gold Medal and Di plo ma In buodien of 10 (two sizes), Od. and 2s, 44, (Postage stra), UF + and Zis per [, Post Pree WEWLAY & CO. (144. #9, Strand, W.C. ; 74, trend bast Indie House), and 143 143, € h Cheapaide, EO. Bet. 1780, CANARY a LEA & PERRINS' SAUCE. The Original and Genuine ‘ Worcestershire Sauce.” For HOT and COLD " MEATS, GRAVIES, SALADS, SOUPS, Signature is on ary | Bottle of the Genuine Jrigiaai The Mediu ai Profession quengly 0 recommend SALUTARIS WATER, SAI The Gl

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a il i, OE A Gy EE PEE. Pur PUN Hi, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL—Ocrupzr 22, 1892. ealth Exhibition London -BENCER’S FOOD RETALL IM TINS, . of Chemists, ac., everywhere. WHOLESALE» vr ALL WHOLESALE BOUSES. “Ashamed of His Dirty Cuffs.” Frayed Linen soils in half-an- hour. Hadson's Extract of Soap will not fray your cuffs or jag the edges of your collars. Anything washed with Hadson's Extract of Soap is thoroughly washed, therefore Remaius Much Longer Cleaa. TOAAAASbbbdbbbdete lien FP Hanburys Castor Oil Tasteless. Pure. Active, Sold everywhere at 6d., 1), VO & 3i. I taken both by children and adults without the t difficulty - Possesses all the advantages ncet, C. Brandauer & Co's Circular-Pointed Pens. SEVEN PRIZE MEDALS. Bmoothly as «a Lead Pencil. Neither GSeratch nor Spurt, the points being rounded by a om ial poe om Assorted ample Box for 7 stamps from the Works, BIRMINGHAM. Dy Special Reyal Har rante of Appotntmont - MoM. The Gaeen, HRM, The Princess of Yates, H.A.M. The Empress Irederich, &e, FENTON BURNETT'S _ ROYAL SERGES | 14 other Fashionable Pure Wool Fabrics in the latest styles. HILDKEN’S, and ¢ ENTLEMEN'S DRESS Carriage Paid en orders of 20s. and above te any part of the United Kipgdom Mention this Paper “100 YEARS AGO.” oyal Serge arehouse | 4 & ~ A* EGERTON BURNETT, Wellington. Gemerect, Enginad PEARS SOAP in use 100 years ago, and still the best to-day. Medical Annual. The Analyst. pert at Oe SSS “The name Cadbury “The typical Cocoa | on any packet of Cocoa of English Manufac- is a guarantee of Cadbury A’ ture, Absolutely, purity.’’ Pure.”’ Printed by © (Wiam Stuart Smith, of Ne Loraine Read, Holloway, in the Parish of St. Mary, Islington, ip the County of Middlesex, ot the Printing Ofiow of Mesers Hiradbury, Agnew, ae) Limited, Lombard Street, im the Precinct of Whitefriags, im the City of Lopdop, and published by him at No 65, Fleet Street, im the Parish of 6t. Bride, City of London —Sat vanay, October 22, te EVERY SATURDAY. PUBLISH ED