Punch 1892-04-16: Vol 102 Iss 2649

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| ; ; | x nd . >| w is) w rl Oi c 2 a HANDLEY Gross; wR. JORROCKS'S HUNT

Will be the forthcoming Volume in the “JORROCKS Edition of the “HANDLEY CROSS” Sorting Novels, wi numerous Illustrations and Coloured Frontispiece, by Joun LEECH, —and will be ready at the end of April. ["A2wr wens

PUNCH OFFICE, 85, FLEET STREET, FAIR BUNS = were. a BONSd J2SYHL BOINd — | Pupar ToLAly 4 SE SSO Ars — TA Cigy SEEPS OTT. | ‘ti ' e meee —R * i nt M "4 f a J

LONDON.

VINOLIA SOAP 2MZ

Registered at the General Post Office as s Newspaper.)

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI—Aram 16, 1892. MUDIE’S SELECT LIBRARY. | “ EXCELLENT—of Great Value.”— Lancet, June 15, 1889. —— | CONCENTRATED Gold Medals, 1884, 1886. — —* — Spanish hook . —— = = PEPTONIZED oe re emt — FROM ONE GUINEA FER ANNUM pa gt it_. ay — All Lists and Prospectuses Postage Pree Mudie’s Select Library (Limd.), OXFORD.-MITRE HOTEL HOTEL NEW OXFORD STRERT | Branch Offices —%i, Brompton head, 6. Wand | NUTRITIOUS. ONE OF THE MOST ECONOMICAL 2, King Street, Cheapside DELICIOUS FIRST-CLASS HOTELS IN THE King Crown Oro, Ss. 64. cack } DICESTIBLE. Scz: — — FACES AND PLACES. By | Tins, Is. 6d. and 2s. 6d., obtainable everywhere. A LISTLE FLUEEER; SAVORY & MOORE, LONDON. BRIGHTON go ty EN: (eS ~~ “HEAVIEST POSSIBLE PLATING.” 'TMIAMOND ORNAMENTS.— = = _ * * * D — —⏑⏑⏑⏑——— rent OTEL ETROPOLE - : ae. Che a 68 ,*. « — | treet, of fet AS ee ~ GERARD; or, THE WORLD, ay a ee OW OPEN 4 THE FLESH. AND THE DEVI. oem ree ied direct to the public at merchants — — A Novel, by the MAPPIN & WEBB’S = -K M7 - XA a, or the ; We London SIMPKIN & ©0., Leowrres | piem ae ey ece = PRINCE’S PLATE. } .. sons es ey Two New Books st the Booksellers and Hookstalls ap aw eo os A QUESTION OF TASTE | * Som ofthe egies — Visito ‘ —— ——— COMPANY, . ẽ THROUGH A’ mars ~_+ Dey = ty M = ¢ QUALITY.” 112, Regent Street, W. Bateman na by Dupiry Hanny. 34 | £13 * — Wu. Hewemans, 21, Bedford Street at ust his. | SAMUEL BROTHERS. | | “UNEQUALLED FOR HARD WEAR” | ! EVERY 4 | | ivwo . | | OUTFITS. | J xs | E PRI + mY dA. * 4 i X mS al wosths. ‘ | for immediate —— ta ry arge ortmer of HE VERY | — and Yi DUTHS | BEDFORD JUNO CYCLE * BEST. CELEBRATED r. ox . ety 4, a! a, rl Discount for Cash, or 12 Equal Monthly Payments. UTTER: RSCOTE ay send, upon peptic teat m, | | METROPOLITAN MACHINISTS CO., Le. 4 Parrens 75, Bishe »psgate Witho put, London, EC my TF “ Gent ie | , ent i ~ TRY IT IN Y Your BaTH. 4 Looe oF, ¢ vitaining abe at : @5 Engraving his — vish * Ne ScCRUBB’ Ss (nous 22 ) AMMONIA, = with Price Lists, &c MARVELLOUS PREPARATION. COLDEN BRONZE HAIR. | 4 BLI88°8 Chippt — | Refreshing as a Turkish Bath The lovely nuance “Chatain Foncée” an & | _4 ton Riding and oe Invaluable for Toilet purposes. imparted to Hair of any colour by using ZRIM | Un Tweeds, Chevicts, Splendid Cleansing Preparation for the Hair. — on . au. Ee 3, Osis — —_ | look —2 Senge, Se, Removes Stains and Grease Spots from Clothing, &c. * Hair AMINE is invalucbh | lool of the productions of Restores 8 on a a | of thie eminent Grm te Cleans Plate an ewellery. | always kept in stock 1s. bottle for six to ten baths. R A N Ss oO M E Ss’ | you SAMUEL BROTHERS, : Of all Grocers, Chemists, &c. ‘At the Jubilee Met: ] Mere has fi a Levoste uu N, Worksho: Pugri _____séSCRUBB & Co., 15 Red Cross Street, Ss. E. ing of the RASE, | J mains agate om, and 46, Gray * — — —— HAE | No. - Princess Victoria d i — — | FLORILINE. LEA & PERRINS nl |p, lawn Mower. T ek oPpP ra tun teeTganpaazatz9 =89S A U CE. |iLAWN MOWERSIEM |; . is the BEST LIQUID m= The SAUCE Sexes.” || THE BEST in the WORLD. | it. “ Ar TOM ATOR, ness aa | |For HOT and COLD « Kove Bonin er Wontny" and “fon | Bor —— the Teeth PRanLy White | MEATS, —— —————— 2 an © — — — Delicious to the Taste GRAVIES y ail Ironmongers. Is partiy composed of Honey, and extracts ’ t from sweet herbs and plants. SALADS RANSOMES, SIMS & JEFFERIES, Lt., . Gri Of all Chemists and Perfumers throughout the ’ ] Mack Handle, ts. 64. | A Pr., Ivory Handles. world. _%s. G4. per boi bottle. | RSLS seas se ot | * SOUPS, Ke Poou aut Deacene PLORILINE TOOTH POWDER ccly, GAME, | the Wholesale Ossonxs, Gaaasrr, & Co., London, W Put up in glass jars. Price ls. ¢. ls The American ay he Limited, FISH, PLAIN or PERFUMED, | "*4s¢sansem rss Somer, | WELSH Le — 5 RAREBITS, m LA CIGAL t] IE TENERIFE (sshss : os) © CIGARS. &c., &e. i oO ‘ A Delicions Word de neeslonapen y Mia A Aromat! | é tha Mam | and Delicate. (Awarded Gold Medal and Diploma} | aI t+ tha | > C aes * e>~ jo amr? ls. Od _— eS neoage | 4 ; 2 00. _ ⸗ - . - ) L L — v AY 8 tO iad, Strand, * —— * 1 Gignature is on every Lottie of the Genuine sul) (Kast India House , and i43, Cheapside, B.C. 5 and Original. * THE Do { an hes Is a hand Camera especially designed for j Amateurs. It is the most compact instru- | be ment made, and with it the largest number ] of exposures can be made with the least “ number of day PICTURES SQUARE OR ROUND. 7; »/ NO PREVIOUS KNOWLEDCE OF PHOTO- . CRAPHY 1S NECESSARY. WHITENS al “YOU PRESS THE BUTTON WE DO THE REST.” THE TEETH, Bi — — deca sWee ILLUSTRATED CATALOGUE FREER — antiseptic and antiscorbuti * properiioe ang tenet — preservation of the teeth and gums 2s, Od. per box. Bold everywhere —8 MATERIALS 60., OXFORD STREET, LONDON, Parte: my my Nige: Place Grimaldi.

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——e—— Aran. 16, 1892.) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL — — —— ——— WRESTLING WITH WHISTLERS. (A Reminiscence of a Recent Exhibition.) | ewe The Goupil Gallery. Groups of more or less puzzled Britons ae — to do justice to the Collection, having realised that Mr. WutsTLEr’s work is now considered entitled to serious consideration, but feeling themselves unable to get a timid tolerance. In addition to these, there are Frank hilistines who are here with a fixed intention of being funny, Matrons with a strongly domesticated taste in | Art, Serious Elderly Ladies, Literal Persons, §c., §c. A Lady (after looking at a representation of Old Battersea Bridge —in the wae person who feels she is making a liberal concession). Well, do you know, I must say that isn’t so bad. I shouldn’t so much mind having that in the room, should you ? Her Companion (dubiously). Well, I don’t know. He’s put asteamerin. Should you think there were steamers in—a—(vaguely) —those days ? First Lady (evidently considering Mr. WHISTLER capable of any eccentricity). Oh, I don’t su he w mind that much. First Interal Person 834 the por- trait of Miss ALEXANDER). Well—(péain- : tively)—he might have put a nicer expression Ne "Second Do. Do pleasing PWN ; . Do. Yes—very un . (Refers to Catalogue.) Oh, I see it saye— A Brother Brush. * is simply a disagreeable presentment First Do. Do. (rejoicing that t painter of a young lady. has vindicated himself this time). Ah—that explains it, then. Of course if he meant it——! A Serious Elderly Lady. There’s one thing I must say I do like, my dear, and that’s the way he puts down all the unfavourable —— on his pictures. So straightforward and honest of him, J | it. | Her Companwn. Yes, but I expect he can’t help seeing how right and sensible the criticsare, you know. ‘Still—(charitably)—it shows he would do better if he could / | An Advanced Nephew (who is endeavouring to convert a Philistine Uncle to the superiority of the Modern School). Now here, Uncle, look at this. Look at the way the figare looms out of the canvas, look at the learning in the simple sweep of the drapery, the drawing of it, and the masterly grace of the pose—you don’t mean to tell me you don’t call that a magnificent portrait ? His Uncle. Who’s it of ? That’s what I want to know first. ; ; ae (coldly). You will find it in the Catalogue, no doubt—| ike Uncle (looking tt up). ‘* Arrangement m Black. La Dame au | Brode quin yan i Be = lady in a ow i or other. | Tehah And not a word to tell you who she’s su tobe? If | I pay a shilling for a —— I expect to information in it, And let me ask you—where’s the interest in looking at a | port * t 22 re not = who sy intended » e Nephew, not being prepared to answer this difficult query, J— is relative gently up to a ‘‘ Nocturne in Opal and The Uncle conveys his opinion of it by a loud _ and expressive snort. First Prosaic Person Gove No. | Hopefully.) Well, come, I ought to there often enough. (Inspecting it closely. a—um ! Second P. P. (with languid interest), 1s it ike? |_ First P. P. could tell you better if he ’d done it by daylight. ike the top of a | I can’t make out this in the front—looks to me lik * « * : R ew —— — — Second P. P, I think it’s meant for a jetty, ing-stage, or | that sort of , and, when you look mo it, there’s something | that seems intended for people—most ex i , isn’t it ? | The Domesticated Matron (who is searching for a picture with a | subject to it). There, CaRoxrve, it’s evidently a Aarbour, you see, and ships, and they ’re letting off fireworks—probably for a regatta, Does it tell you what it is in the Catalogue ? Caroline | after consulting it). It only says, ‘‘ A Nocturne in Blue | and Gold”—oh y reading)—‘ a — and splutter of bright- | Ress, on a black ground, to depict a display of fireworks.” Her Mother gated at own intelli ). I th | be fireworks. He seems quite fond of fireworks, doesn’t , First Facetious Philistine. Hullo, what have we got here ? Crepuscule, in Flesh-colour and Green.” Very like one, too, I resay—when you know what it is. —* F. P. As far as I can make it out, a Crepuscule’s either oh — inside out, or a Symphony upside down—it don’t much A Lady (who is laboriously Blue Wave at Biarritz.” —— ———— ge inhale rin Bie ht it must e? trying to catch the right spirit). ** The Now I do admire that.” And what I like even better than the Blue wave is this great Brown one breaking in the foreground—so exactly Ake water, isn't it, Dicx P Dick (not a Whistlerite). Y—yea—just. Only it’s a rock, you know. The Lady. But if that’s the way he saw it, Dick! Dick. Here’s a thing! * St. Mark’s, Venice.” 1 "ll trouble What’s he done with the flagstaffs and the bronze horses whe Lady Lae au it tetn't-bappen to 0s “edgy while \ it * n to % while we were there, that’s all. - First Pros. Person. Ah, there’s old CaRtyie, yousee! Dear me, what a vy | soity Siting coat—see how it bulges over his chest! Second P. P. Yes. daresay he but the wrong button— philosopher and all that sort o’ thing, y’know. First P. P. meted Wall, I do think Warstier might of it! Iw tHe Seconp Room. have told him The Matron wn Search of a Subject. Ah, now, this really is more my idea of a picture. Quite a pretty erétonne those curtains, and there’s a little girl reading a book, and a looking-glass with reflections and all, anda young lady in a riding-habit—just going out for a ride. Caroline. Yes, Mother. Or just come in one. Her Mother. Do see what it’s called. “* The Morning Canter,” or “* Back from the Row "’—something of that kind, I expect it would be. Caroline. All it says is, ‘‘ 4 Harmony in Green and Rose.” The Mother (disappointed). Now, why can’t he give it some sensible name, instead of away all one’s interest! The Phil. Uncle (whom a succession of Symphonies and Harmonies has irritated to the verge of fury). Don’t talk to me, Sir! Don't tell me any of these thi ; in an outlandish dress sitting on the floor—on the bare ! litter of Japanese sketches! And he has the confounded impertinence to call it a ** Caprice”—a “ Caprice in Purple and Gold.” I'd ! the in them? Depend upon it, Sir, these things are rubbish—sheer rubbish, accordiny, to my notions of Art, and I think you'll allow I ought to know something about it ? His Nephew (provoked beyond prudence). You certainly ought to know more than that, my dear Une Are you going ? The 6 (grimly). es—to see 2* * To Manel. savagely.) That ounded young nd he’s ear h for his precious Whisthers if’ I don't have a fit in the cab! He goes ; the Nephew wonders whether his attempt at proselyt- 1st wae worth while, A Seriouly ly Lady. I’ve no patience with the man. Look at Gustave Dorf, now. I’m sure he was a beautiful artist, if you ike. Did he go and call his ‘‘ Leaving the Pretorium” a Symphony” or a “‘ Harmony,” or any nonsense of that kind? Of course not—and yet look at the difference ! An Impressionable Person (carried away by the local in} to the Man at the wicket, blandly). Could you kindly o me by exchanging this ‘* Note in Black and White” for an ‘“‘ Arrangement in Silver and Gold” ? [Finds himself cruelly misunderstood, and suspected of frivolity. PERSONAL PARAGRAPHS. Tue Rev. No. 354, writing from Dartmoor ** us to inform ee ay Rey ge a —-L im air, e is occupied in revising for prose his course of Sermons to the Young on the Moral Virtues. He is also anxious to inform his creditors that his accounts are now com- pletely in order. It is a source of great comfort to him to that he was able to obtain considerable sums friends in Bath, before he, was obliged to leave with the residue of this money, obtained so to speak will now have the satisfaction of paying a farthing in the Pavt, in other words, to his creditors. __ Mrs. BRruwvitirers was yesterday visited by her friends. readers will be glad to know that she is quite well and has esca the influenza epidemic. Mr. Sr. Lzonanps, with the consent of the Governor, tak opportunity of ing the friends who have so y with him on the unavoidable interruption to his long and | work ‘in the service of his country. He that nothing vevent him from displaying equal zeal in the still more arduous bour, which, also for the benefit of his country, he is now compelled to undertake for a certain period Miss Dopveer is still unwell. The Home sent instructions for a special drawing-room to ison, nor has he, up till now, given any ‘or Miss Donens’s afternoon recepti and five o’clock teas. It is generally considered that the ility of his doing so, without a Special Act of Parliament, is still very remote. Eds Ll A 5 “Secretary has not yet be fitted up in the VOL. CI, k

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182 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL — — [Arr 16, 1899,

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BROKEN BONDS. “T learn from St. Petersburg, that, last Satur- | dav. conferences were begun between Russia and | Germany on the admission of the former t« the new commercial treaties."—TZhe Times Paris Corre- | spondent on “ Russia and the Central Commercial — a La Belle France, the Forsaken One, loquitur :— Wuat dol hear? Oh, do I hear aright, Over the garden wall ? My latest love, my gallant Muscovite, Is this the J this all ? My heart beats fast, a mist ob- J scures my sight. y~ (— orl 71 And now he does it for another girl, And I—I stand apart. Did I not give my heart to him—false one !-- And also—well, my “ stocking ” ? Nor after her ‘* commercial” ame he ’ll My modest beauties mocking. Hist! I believe of me they ’re making fun! O Ciel! tis simply shocking! Hist! I can hear her, the sly cat. How fond Her glances bold and bright!

fal | What mean ? ever is she at? * Ah! welllknow, © XN her game | x | GemMania is a vile coquette, a cat. Seducing my new flame With mercenary, (y~ lures, and low : at that! X It is a cruel; 7 shame ! | But six short months ago and I to him Indeed seemed all in all. — A stalwart lover,| |. — See how she purrs, deems her dot May well out-glitter mine. And he! That slow seductive smile I know. At Cronstadt by the brine, To that dear dulcet voice, not long ago, My ears did I incline. Ah! and those fine moustachios’ conquering Subdued my maiden heart. {eurl For me those tendril-tips he ’d twist and twirl, 80 gay, so smart ; * “ The success of a Russian Loan is not dearly purchased by a little effusion, which, after all, commits Russia to nothing.” (See Cartoon “ Turn- ing the Tables,” Sept. 26, 1891.

» /' ) ' 0 ‘ | 1 H\\ . | “vy A TERRIBLE THREAT. Impatient Old Gentleman (to Female Post-Ofice Assistant, who is chatting pleasantly with an agreeable acquaintance). “Look HERE, YouXG WOMAN, IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME MY CHANGE, CONFOUND IT, I’m false puss! She HANGED IF I DON'T Go AWAY WirHouT ir!” THE BOUNDS OF SCIENCE. (Fragment from a Fin de Monde Romance, ) Tue Student had read many things, but had not yet considered the subject of 7 He knew that it was expensive, but he bei | not imagined that there was so little world. But he at le obtained the re uisite ee =| to work to put things to-rights. He cali ed upon the Seere. tary of a Transatlantic — Steamer Com- pany, and remonstrated with him u _ with ‘whic of his institution were conducted. “You = eer your —

** And, if it does —what then?” * Why, it is too much,” returned | the Student. “ All | the coal in the world will be ex- thing like four or five hundred years; and 0, while there is yet time, I had better go somewhere — coal is a con- — What | shall I do?” ; And then the advised the Student to || take a ticket to |the Centre of

too ragidly, he | pan ae in the | hausted in some- | Africa —and the | Student followed | his advice. But | before | the Student once | — = ® —3 ft more appeared . “*T am afraid,” said he, “I must ask you for the retura of my that "ie will be useless for me to

Her bag is brimming, mine’s a —A I dreamed not me he’d slight For such mere bagman beauty, — blonde, But—ah! was Biowr7z right ? [ Left doubting.

Da. Vavenan, of Salford, is to be the New Roman Catholic Archbi i Westminster. He is a bright cheerful- man now, but . is to be feared that the pone toil and trouble | don may soon give his features a Care- V aughan expression. go to the Centre of Africa, as the Sun is about to cease giving warmth.” af “Dear t me!” cried the Bocestary, I was under the impression that the Sun oO to last about one hundred millions ay years! “Tt may have been in the far distant past,” returned the Student, sadly, “‘ but recent statistics fix the termination of the Sun ’s exist- ence at a much nearer date. There is 00 doubt that the Sun will not last more than eed — of years, or five millions at ongest. Now give me my money: And (of course) the bullion was promptly returned.

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Ara. 16, 1892,] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. — SN ys Af, — — Z VA Y A Ze [7 IN — —— BROKEN BONDS. La France, ‘‘1s tT posststz !—But Srx Mowrus aco !—axp row——’ =“ =

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184 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Arr 16, 1899, LETTERS TO ABSTRACTIONS. No. XIL—TO PLAUSIBILITY. | was a tion, and equally of cou Dear Orv Prav, +s came the reckoning meAR you have been seen about again with Gewiacirr. the Poor Genta rry, it may be admitted, is often something of a fool when | ca he is by himself, but when you and he begin to hunt im couples, you when @ are a deadly pair. I once knew a St. Bernard dog—you will perceive ‘ the analogy by-and-by—who lived on terms of friendship wit — eputation from terrier. imself Rufus was a mild and inoffensive giant. He of gold, had to return em adored the 9J and used to help her, in a ponderous way, with | wasting a varied stock of the care of her numerous family. i placidly extended before a fire, while puss dature as to any a time have I seen him London used his shaggy body asa published an address in which he he was observed to help that anxious tabby- men who betrayed their friends with golden words, them shamefully in the sleeping box, and once — with the toilet of her kittens by licking them carefully all hour of over. At every lick of Rufus’s huge prehensile tongue a kitten was | would he abandon the betrayed lifted bodily into the air, only, however, to descend washed and un- | might shuffle, and cheat and cozen, but he might harmed to the ground. But out of doors, in the society of Flick, | remain firm, faithful, and incorruptible ‘ A Rufus’s whole nature seemed to ¢ . He became a demon-ex-— oe ae terminator of eats. Led on by his elping little friend, he chased ; them fiercely to their last retreats, onl, if he caught them, masticated for by a crushing majority over a native pork-merehant who had nothing bat his Strefyhtioewerd honesty to ——— him ve undertaken to pay all hi ication was made to these institutions, their secretaries a complete and chilling ignorance of Gorton, and the | ywhacket, which had gone to L i -handed to their native place, after | -flavoured Irish de: i — — Of course there rse GoRTON was unseated. Then expenses. But London in search nunciation on the | vements. But Gortow was undaunted. He actually | lashed the hateful —— al defeat. But never, so he said, | electors of Ball ket. Others counted upon to waves six them without mercy. Once too, ona that had been appointed He was engaged in the completion of an immense work of genea · for a. big ‘cqvept-diest, I noticed is shane assorted our ame logical resea which was intended to cast an entirely new | man into the breakfast-room panting and dirty. afoot before breakfast. What could their condition mean? A flustered keeper arrived shortly afterwards and explained every- thing. ‘* Them two dogs o’ yo Sir,” he said, “‘ the big un a the little un, ’ave run all the : coverts through. There’s not a pheasant left in ‘em. They’re sailin’ all over the country.” The truth was that Fick had organised the expedition with yy 3 A F- y= ning. He “ to Juin him, and the result was that we shot forty pheasants in- stead of the three hundred on which we had counted. ey were not usually light on — — — preface was a wonderful essay, of | which a Harwarp would scarcely | have been ashamed. Ge on | For | Now, my dear Prav, I merely > several years ill health was sup- record this little story, and leave ; ——— — to hinder him. We read you to apply it. But I may remind — oti em ALY — piteous stories of his struggles you of incidents that touch you h he — — the agonies of ne more nearly. Do you remember —s » ™ and rheumatics, some of us threw | Gortow ? Many years agoGortox good money after bad in the effort | went to Oxford with a brilliant reputation. Every triumph that the | to relieve the imagi sufferer ; WwibGhdr te University could confer was held to be within his grasp. His contem- | WarBecx’s heeds die to the throne of Jack Capr’s in- poraries looked upon him as a marvellous being, who was destined to | dubitable rise to the top of whatever tree he felt disposed to climb. He was| Eventuall really a delightful fellow, fresh, smiling, expansive, amusing, and his | his story I need not linge descent * * the scheming brain * — vreteh did die in , but over not The irony of fate ordained that when he , inger. K friends all worshipped him. Of course he went in for the Hertford. | was actually in want he should wish to be thought im possession of a His success was certain ; it was merely a question as to who should be | large income. second. On the evening before the examination n, there was a Ties a strange commotion in Gortow’s College. Gorton, who was su to have been reading hard, was found at about twelve o'clock in the | He was taken en as temporary quad in his nightgown. He was on all fours, and was engaged in| while he i shrill voice. When the porter approached him he said he ,was a thought him a pattern horribly. On the following day he grew calmer, and in a week he was himself again. But by that time, of course, the examination was over, and Dvssry was soon afterwards announced as the|all! He was an im iscovered, with horror, that the successful competitor. but while he was with us he did good lived a flawless life. These Judging the past by what I know now, I cannot doubt that the| matters puzzle me. Perhaps you, my dear Piav, can explain. madness of Gorton was what patrons of the prize-ring call a put-up Yours, Diogexes Rosrysoy. job, for he never afterwards showed the symptom of | , The odour of his sanctity had scarcely evaporated before we once—at least I had oveay sean to believe | pposed | him to be a lawfully ordained Minister of the Church nd. | Curate in a remote district. His life, | : there, was exemplary. He was untiring in ‘good eating grass and roaring out ribald snatches of Latin songs in a works; the poor adored him, the well-to-do honoured him. We all : of unselfish and almost primitive sain‘liness, hippogriff, and that in another ten minutes he intended to fly to| and when he from us he went with a silver inkstand, a I ey and back in half a second. He was carried 38 bed raving perish The clock and a purse of sovereigns, subscribed for by h of England. man had never been ordained at ing under an assumed name, e had not worked sufficiently, and knew he must fail. So became temporarily insane, to avoid defeat and maintain his repu- and * ** —— — tutor. Then he disap or some years. good accoun Next he suddenly crepped up again in Ireland. A small borough in this — f— constituency had been suddenly declared vacant. Gorton happened | round the necks to be staying in the hotel. He ptly offered himself as a candi- |}; d 4 date, and pl with — igour into the contest. The like a white elephan , : t A Rarwer Lares Onper.—Amongst the many suggested plans tation for scholarship. He left Oxford without taking a , : : : . Tate to the ot Sekine 8, Costes, for housing the collection of pictures once offered by Mr. Tare. ion, i the at Whitehall Ration, bo oghemy Ser om ny 4328 i “At this moment the spacious building is tied the Members of the United Service Institution * vi way that man fooled a simplo-hearted Irich electorate was LEeyxp ; They came to believe him to be a millionaire, a king of finance, 0 | 4 aM °n=t-LzuDEe said he had personage at whose nod Statesmen trembled, a being who mingled with all that was highest and best in the land. He cajoled them. one per cent. = the day he looked in at h -time and heard them singing, “ With oon let all the earth,” and he didn’t want to hear any more. never been inside a Church since flattered them, he ialked them reund his little , he rollieked with them, opened golden vistas of mi —* smiled at their wives, defied the I to everyone of them,| Tryrxe To THE TempeR.—Mrs. Lieutenant, and was elected | eat cross buns, as they are sure to R. says nothing can induce her to disagree with her. — —

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— Arrit 16, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL 185 TRIALS AT THE LAW COURTS. A Triwip put Ervprre “ Leaper” Its vrezp To TAKE A “‘ Bap OxsszctTion.” OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. Au. who are interested in the theatrical celebrities of past times will do well to read a * indeed, a too brief paper, about Dorotay JORDAN, written by —58 Motioy, for The English Illustrated Magazine of this month. The Baron does not remember if Tuackeray touched on the ang of this talented Actress in his Lectares on “ The Four — to the brilliant career of Mrs. Jorpaw co a hardly have escaped the great Satirist as being one instance, among many, illustra od wise King’s advice as to “‘ not putting your trust in ’ for the matter of that, and in fairness, it must be added, “ ‘n |i any * child of man.” Poor Dororay, or Dotty Jorpan! but now a Queen of “* Puppets,” and now—thus, a mere —* Ah, CLarence!— “False, fi perjured — tf ra "amex, sprare wrote of that other Duke in Crookback’d — 8 time, for * the *‘ ifs” and ** ands” of life were resolved for ever in a final ‘* butt.” In the issue for 1891 of that most interesting yearly Annual, The Book- Worm, for which the Baron, taking it up now and again, blesses ELLIOT Srocx, of Paternoster Row, there is a brief but interesting account of The Annexed Pra er-Book, which, after some curious chances and changes, was at last ordered to be — be photo- graphed page DF page, without removed from the custody of Black Rod. y means of an elaborate system of reflecting,”’ the yrecess of photographing was carried on in the House of Lords. t is satisfactory to all Book-worms to know Te oy he ta work was not undertaken without even more than the usual amount of reflection. Tar Baron ve Boox- Worms. THE HAMLET IN THE HAYMARKET. Wirn Mr. Trex’s impersonation of Hamlet most London goers are by this time acquainted, though not yet familiar. tt + a most interesting performance, especially to those who remember the inauguration of new departures by CHARLES FEcHTER. The question for every * HAamlet must always be, ‘How can I differentiate my Hamlet from all |p me Hamlets? What can I do that nobody eer & nn “*To be or not to be ” Hamlet, ** that is the question suffer the tortures of — * —* you might have achieved had you essayed the part, or to take up the study of it, and ceasing to shiver on the bank, leave off your damnable faces, and plunge in / Mr. Tree has plunged, and and is going on swimmingly. Mrs. TrEE’s Op Her « distraught Ophea is very mad indeed, and (77 method 1 in her madness is excellent. There is a curious monotony in some of the e-business. Thus, Ophelia pauses in her exit ke comes up quietly behind the absent- minded Prince as if to play bo-peep wi tim: then, later on, after hi . apparently brutal —— of her, Hamlet returns, sd, while she is ot thie in tears, he kisses her hair and runs away — lessly also were another part of the same again, in the Churchyard, after the scandalous —_ , E but the sad finish | P ether ’tis better continuously to | of ce of a 2 ecclesiastic, to whose reported him), Hamlet * ‘te wee weep, and Ld meg Now sto bis ket, when they attest 2 eee —— of “‘ friends in t;” but when “‘ returns” are on , their excellence may the score of monotony. ow, as to the Church- » a —the Second Grave- 7 te Hirt Gravedigger, with money ean of the name of Yavenay, once set to work, as in aymarket ; but here he just shovels nd then, without rhyme or —., supplied by ow for the ut * shoulda’ t there be a re-entrance of the Second d Yavouan’s with the pot Gravedigger, and take 2 the refreshment Hamlet return to out effectively descend. his Hamlet, enter Yoricx, assumes a ir towards Yoricx’s successor, a’ Court ul that he may still be su to be So when His hness Hamlet has to say, Mr. Trex places the novice pointedly at him ; as ¢.g., when, r his th, he tells him that he with a —* look at the Court Whereat the mployer Fool, put into a * Prince by not by la has to but some- ak “going to have a lark” with old — in exquisitely bad taste by the way—Mr. Tree's Hamlet attracts the young Court Jester’s attention to his otiteming novelty. Now this time, as the repartee about as rude a thing as any cad of an liar might have uttered, the professional Jester, who evidentl ly does not owe his appointment to the Lo Chamberlain's favour, and is exempt from his jurisdiction, grins all over his countenance, and hops away to explain the jest to some of the courtiers, = Hamlet himself, to judge by his plese countenance, is clear] y very much = with his own ormance in a Jester how the fool should be played. And this notion is consistent with the ; character of a Prince who takes upon himself tolecture the Actors on their own art. There i is no subtler touch in Saax- SPRARE’s irony than his pitting these instructions eer yt in mouth of a noble amateur. Of the revival, as a whole, one may truthfully say, (a donne a penser, and, indeed, the study of Hamlet is inexhaustible. “T am thy Father's Ghost!” WITH THEIR EASTER EGGS, * Emp-r- rf ag a .—Presentation copy of the light and ing satirical English Paper. The Cz-r of R-ss-a.—Letter of regret from President C-y-r. The Pr-s-d-nt of the Fr-nch R-p-bl-c.— Secretly-obtained copy treaty f - a Quadruple Alliance. he K-ng of It-ly.—Scheme for a modus vivendi, The P-pe.—Duplicate copy of ditto Ch ne-ter -pr-vi.—Permit for leave of absence Pr-nee V- — ee A sone * PE Ny) mek Return o of the P Pilot.” The X of 8-l-sb-r The Ch-ne-ll-r of the ) ows r. — on the Budget F-rst L-rd of the Tr-s-ry Sate rules for the game Rt. Hon. W.£. Gl-dst-ne. 1 Bet of Diaries for the next next twenty years. The P-t L-r-te.—The Order of ** The Foresters. The Oxf-rd E-ght.—The Blue Riband of the Thames. S-r A rh | s Dr-r-l-n-s.—A month's well-deserved rest. N-b-dy wn P-rt-c-l-r.—A legacy of £100,000 Bee pm ey” in G-n-r-l.—Rates and taxes.

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. — — [Aran 16, 1892,

_— F “aT? * J J | ae 4 Yi wire TM 4 i 8 SO FRIVOLOUS! Wife. “ Soromox, I nAve A Bows To PICK WITH Yov.” Solomon (flippantly). ‘‘ WITH PLEASURE, MY DEAR, 80 LONG AS IT's A Funny Bonz!”

‘ In hideous shape incarnate! Venomed Gad THE DYNAMITE DRAGON, _ | In Civilisation’s path ; malignant- a And blindly biting; raising an asp-neck A Dracon! Faugh! that foul and writhing | In Beauty’s foot-tracks, and prepared to Worm wreck Seems scarcely worthy of the ancient term | The ordered work of ages in a day, That fills old myth, and typifies the fight To raze and shatter, to abase and slay. 'Twixt wrathful evil and the force of right. | Blind as the earthquake, headlong as the The dragons of the prime, fierce saurian | storm things Yet in such hideous subter-human form, With gorges and with ha: Fitted their hour; the haunts birth, The semi-chaos of the early earth, The slime, the earthquake shock, the whelm- ing flood, Made battle ground for the colossal brood. But now, when centuries of love and light Have warmed and brightened man’s old home ; when might Is not all sinister, nor all desire wings, Vulgar as venomous! Dragon indeed, t gave them And dangerous, but with no soul save greed, | No aim save chaos. Bloody, yet so blind, The common enemy of humankind; wae ie works and ways it yearns to | To smite to ruined fragments, and to cast Prone—as itself is prone—in common dust. The Beautiful, the Wise, the Strong, the Just, All fruit of labour, and all spoil of thought, Fierce appetite, that all-devouring fire,— All that co-operant Man hath won or When life is not alone a wasting scourge, wrought, But from the swamps of soulless strife emerge | All that the heart has loved, the mind has Some Pisgah peaks of ise where the dove | taught Finds footing, high the whirli 8 above,— Through the long generations, hosrded Now the intrusion of this loathly shape, ains With pestilence-breathing jaws that blackly | Of plastic fancies, and of potent brains ; Thrones, Temples, Marts, Art’s alcoves, is homes. Down, down !—to spleen, the paltry thing gorge, (breath | Impotent, save to lurk, and coil, and spring, And trample out the Laidly Worm’s last | But powerful as the poison-drop, once — In the convulsions of reluctant death. , corrupts, and leaves its victim— A crawling, craven, sneaking, snaking dead As the asp’s fang could turn to pulseless clay brute ; Purposeless spite, and hatred absolute, The Pride of Egypt, so this Worm can slay

a For - <a prey, is sure a thing To set celestial guards once more a-wing ; To fire a new St. Michael or St. George With the bright death to cleave the monster's | Learning’s Patrician ~ ad, an glut its

4 left long covert for its a ty course. up against it every virile force, Ani every valorous virtue! By its hiss ’Tis known hostis humani generis, Let Civilisation snatch St. Michael’s sword, And slay this i : The meanest and the most malignant Worm Which can spill venom, but, attacked, will uirm, Shrink. splutter, vanish. With no noble end, All —_ ~ 1 be its foes, blind hatred its sole rien

BREAKING. [In his spot-barred Billiard-Match with H. Cots, PEALL made breaks of 108, 133, 64, 52,78, 77,and 80. Break, break, break On thy Billiard-board, oh P.! As easy as cutting butter The business seems to thee. ** Oh, well that the spot is barred,” The knowing ones glibly say, “ Or we might get no Of a Corzs’ strike here to-day.” And the marvellous game goes on, Fi. the — Save r fill ; one drops off, dreams He’s taken the ‘ Red” for a pill. 3 , break ! And there ’s one that will broken be ; For the Pony I put on the other man ill never come back to me.

Svecrstiow rrom “Cur~pe Haroip” AT Otyrmpta.—**I stood in Venice on the Bridge of Size And paint,” &c., &c.

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ae PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI—Arri 16, 1892.

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| Arai. 16, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 189 — | ON THE FIRST GREEN CHAIR. Reacu it, attendant; wicked winter flies off : Place it wi Ste cass stare Up at the sun Sy See olen Long have — uncanny : Now to Hyde Park return its gauze of gold, Jewels of crocus and enhancements mani- -fold, ome, delicious zephyr, blithe new-comer, Ur — to purchase patent-leather Hats of a virgin glossiness, and summer We Thursday, April7. Hyde Park. a Welcome, attire of carnival-ca: Suddenly bursting on the ‘wildered 7 view. Mine—I don’t mind confessing it—are trousers new, These that, serene in atmosphere serenest, Droop o’er a Chair, whose emerald taunts the trees— Green are the leaves, and greener than "the greenest Peas ! ll things must end: to-morrow may be icy: “WV ither too seon the joys that f chest are ; End will sweet summer revyeries, and my ci- gar. Ends too that master-piece of Messrs. Hram Bashfully hinted at in line sixteen ; Green was the Chair I oat on—and now J am green! “ALL’S (PAIRLY) WELL.” — —The War Office. Sanctum of the OMMANDER-IN-Curer. H.R.H. is seated on a chair, To him enter (after being properly complimented by a couple of Grenadiers om guard over an area) INsPECTOR-GENERAL OF EVERYTHING, Field-Marshal Punca. Inspector-General (sharply). Well, Sir! COMMANDER - IN - CHIEF comes briskly to attention.) wi* ork Royal Highness, you | can be seated. I don’t want to disturb you ~much! And now, how is the Review getting on? Com, -in- Chief. First -rate, Sir. Excel- lent, Sir! Couldn’t be better, Sir! Insp.- Gen. (dryly). I have heard those phrases before, your Royal sally “couldn’t be subsequently that things ought to have been better, — much better, Sir. Com.-in- Chief (anxiously). But I assure You, Sir, that this time we are doing our Why, Sir, fancy, we are to have — men under arms! i » Sir—thirty thousand men ! better”—and found | J * .- Gen. ay & he meer of a Ger- a -tn- Chief ( —3 ——— rough). Com Sir, I see you are joking! men, and some of them are going full equi Why, for instance, the Artists will march the she way to the scene of the ey tions with their own regiment And so will the Ist London of that, Sir! Insp.- Gen. And how much have mtlemen here had to do with that, dir ? y, the Vouatoeme would have 8 ae in a state w unpreparedness blic taken the initiative. — had n What iid i gon the Horse Guards do to- ving them their kit ? Comte in Che Well, it J all right a — ia tat uring the ear , and—. % { da “But come, tell Com. -in.-Chief (rather taken aback). Well, Sir, the customary crew. I suppose 4 SEYMovr. — ret gets e, your Ror that you A er to General wee Sermovr, who will be in in Ae t Dover. Com. -in- * (abashed). Certainly, Sir. bay are an Aleks ae to-day J Sir. en. ways par- ————— rtic — I have to deal with the olunteers. Well, Sir, General Lord Wi1u1aM —— commands at Dover —proceed, Sir ; Com.-in- Chief. a aon Sir, ‘there ’s General GoopgNoven at , and General Dawson-Scorr A Chatham. Insp.-Gen. Is he a Volunteer ? Com.-in-Chief (la up hing). Why the Raya e’s in the Roy though 3 my pec re da of course not Engineers. Altho we wd ow — “Eran en. (severely). No levity Anam pray who else is to be in comman Com.-in- Chief. Well, Sir, I shall be pre sent myself on Saturday, and then take Pthe March-past on Monday. .~ Gen, Yes; but ‘how about the Volun- teers? What about them ? Why don’t you let the officers command their own men ? Com.-in- Chief. Why, Sir, you see in time Insp.- Gen. (interrupting). You would find Volunteer officers as — 7— as any others. Your Koyal Highness has no doubt studied the lessons taught re war between the Nor- therners and the Southerners in America ? Com.-in-Chief. I have glanced at the sub- ject, Sir, at the Royal United Service Insti- * 4 77 I venture to hope that you Sir. nd? * ete. 77 * pours. Well, yes, I think y you are But, in future, give a a of the pelted to Volunteers et simple. And now just jot down what Thaye further to say to you. Scene closes in upon the Com.-IN-CHIEF taking notes. CONNECTED WITH THE PRESS. meeting of —* Institute of ouraaiats, it was prope tha ture candi- dates for membership should fundergo qxanslagtion to fo to test their qualifications before following will be set to obtaining the right desirous of of | of adding ‘ M.1.J.” to their names. 1. Would you as a Reporter venture to use Sappers soldiers. “ Thi Should the proposal be adopted, ne fine h level doubt some such paper as the such expressions as ‘‘ devouring > plement ® on “destructive fluid” in pews = 4 in flimsy” to a London Daily Paper? State when you would ider entitled to describe yourself ‘‘a 2. What are the rights of « Journalist at « free luncheon? If an Editor finds himself | imsel,rleave that duty in the Bands of lf b a ave Gah aly to Re Cone ot a — 91 an essay and say when a 3) settle it out of Cou fight it out, an t of bie i ” and * * x im , “ -~ pent,” © mete oad a “ pufling 5. What is * — oe examples to ilustrat th e me Show, Show, conaey, why th the World, could not revolve without th why the would cease to be 2 your own assistance. UPON JULIA’S COAT. (After Herrick.) Wuewas my Juris wears a sack That hides the outline of her back, as her face, But now what change has taken place | is “sack Lewren Fasuiow, Sack-Coat, nearest approach to os ers in Sackeloth, for Lent. style. a But women’s garments should be fair, - aceful, gay and debonair. if they lack good sense, why care ? é ‘Teun. cease to wear a A garb all artists should attack, In which both sense and beauty lack ! Some sense still DRINKS AND DRAMAS, a~ Henry Tue Esourtn is a Soda-water Play.” r. Irving's Evidence before the Committee. | Mr. Invive has now com his list of refreshments suited to ormances. They can be obtained, like Mr. Goscnen’s reserve of shillings, ‘* on application,” . which does * mean pean pret Very fine old Scotch. Fane. —Bitters. Romeo and Jukiet.—Rum and Milk. Othello.—Dublin Stout. Merchant of Venice.—Port(1 *A.). Charles the First.— Ale (with ead), The Cup.—Tea. Faust. wy» “A Much Ado About Not .— Benedictine. Corsican Brothers.— ~and-half,

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190 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. — {Arai 16, 1892, A BERLIN CITIZEN'S DIARY Translated by Our Fira | Standard Board Scholar.) (“It ie stated that the) soldier who, on Friday last, fired at and killed a man who threatened him while on sen- try duty before the barracks in the Wrangel-strasee, Ber- | lin, has been promoted to the | rank of corporal, for what is described as his correct conduct on the occasion. The . by, who was wounded at the same time, still lies in a pre- carious condition.” — St. James's Gazette, April 6.) April 1.—I go walking near barracks; see man looking quietly at building. Suddenly fires the sentry with his long distance rifle so that the straight = through the looker’s heart and cases my never sufficiently regretted right arm — ing bullet in the remote distance a child kills. Long live our good Empe- ror and his glorious army ! Carried home insensible. | June 1. — At last am 1 | from arm-amputation re- covered and walk again | out. The sentry was for his on the first April quite | courageous act to be Ber-| geant promoted. Here comes a Sergeant! He is it! Look curiously at him whereupon he me in the leg shoots, Long live our Em- peror! Again carried home. Sept. 1.— Again out, in id chair, meet same man, now Lieutenant. I murmur sadly, “‘Ah, my ediatel CULTURE. a & Scune—A Private Picture Gallery. is now Fie Noble Sportsman (opposite choice example of Canaletto), ‘1 say, sy Jove, I szE you ‘vz cor a Picture or OLYMPIA HERE!” | J i, eee + — A, | fri UP The he up hire an amanuensis. mba outs. I lon not even our ey Leo ta ag ta the ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. Alpheus Cleophas, It is bad him une usually finds more, lament tion of Privi forward for clusion, when NEwDEGATE’s but the voice not evidently aly aid thence. House of Commons, Mon- day, April 4. — ALPHEUS CieopHas has terror to Parliamentary life. h to have y rising from a customary seat ; a place on top Bench below Gangway, whence, in days that are no| 7 NewpecatTe used to fresh evid Papal ascendanc * ences of House | history night, conversation on ques- been going some time. Seemed about to reach con- below the Gangway in "irish sound eye trae to| Breach Fol- came upon ALPHEvUs CLEO- pus breaking out in R place. Otherwise, all the same; the flat-toned voice, the — turbable manner that awaits cessation of storm of obloguy, and then comanease interrupted sentence ; the conviction that somebody (generally the Government) is dishonestly, and needs a | watchful eye kept upon him ; : the information conveyed the Eye is now on—all were 2 each identified Creopmas. Up again -_ on shouted em ever qty writing tll nov rn has subsided, when he finishes the interru sentence, and begins another. Business done.—In Committee on Small ey oh ali Ate eer never lacki side to keep Rapcuirre Cooxx pot deve tendency towards the Gevernment. Hitherto ——— asa follower. New state of Cambrian Railway Directors. + i ic last at sieht i ear notice to od pee on — circumstance in the tions that there > i. —* * 2* Bet while all “the other a A Up & case or two, to show that if Masters punish t Servants for Personal Conductor. c ae)

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| aren, 16, 1892.) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL WANTED, A FIGURE REPRESENTATIVE OF THE LONDON COUNTY COUNCIL. Somsz or THE SvccEsTions szyT 1s TO Mr. Puwcn.

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192 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL {Aram 16, 1892,

— — — — — — ⸗

on each other similar punishment. Benacu made his proposal in matter-of-fact way, anticipating general concurrence. But CHaNNING | objected ; Grornoe Taevetray did not approve the suggestion ; while napa’ meledee phrase | the Sevrre or Matwoop eagerly seize mal: it about “the other side,” and made great play with it. Probably | Beacu might have disregarded this action tion Benches ; but different when Rapcirrre Cooke rose from ach immediatel behind Ministers, and in severely judicial manner criticised pro action of President of Board of Trade. Bracn said nothing at moment; after some hours’ reflection, announ withdrawal of original pro- sition and intention of proceeding with indictment of Cambrian Directers without waiting for case of the other side.” To-day he moved that on Thursday the accused should appear at Bar of Roum, This on point of being agreed to when Cooke again appeared on scene ; with inc impressiveness of manner against Beacn’s pro Prince ARTHUR n to look uneasy ; no knowing where this sort of thing would end if it spread. What with Sexrow on one side correcting grammar of Ministerial Resolu- | tions, and Rapnciirre Cooke on the other amending their procedure, | it really seemed time to go to the country. Something like condition | of paralysis stealing over Treasury Bench when SreakER came to | pyiyi) assistance of Ministers, and benignly but effectively pointed out to Cooxe that he was one too many, was in fact spoiling the broth. Cooxe tried to argue the matter out, but Spzaker peremptory and Ministers saved from fresh rebuff. ** It’s all very well for them arguing round the subject like that,” | seid Mactvre, nervously mopping his forehead. ‘* But it’s a very | different thing with me, at my age and fighting weight. An In- | surance Broker, Director of various Railway and other Companies, | formerly Major of the 40th Lancashire Volunteers, a Trustee for three Church livings, and father of a large family, to be brought by the locality. ‘The Bar’ is the last place in the world where the — of Jom~ Wriuram Mactvre would think it likely to find him.” Business done.—{n Committee on Small Holdings. Thursday Night.—After all, Mactonre didn’t have to stand at the Bar to-night, so his feelings were saved 3 goonies: ly painful wrench. | But the Chairman of Cambrian Railway-held a special meeting at | Bar. It was attended by Mr. Bammer Hawxurns, and Mr. Jonyn a ee a yg ee a of the Company. looked in, bringing the Mace with him. “* Now if they were really going to have anything at the Bar,” said Mactvre, looking wistfully on, ‘a drop of m port or anything like that, Mace would come in handy. Suppose Erskine w it in the jorum and stir the liquor round.” So Macture joked, and so, as JvuLius "ANNIBAL, naturally well- poston up in this epoch of history, reminds me, Nzro whilst tome burned. Fact is, MacLURE in terrible funk ; mental condition shared by his Chairman, Co-director, and the Manager. The latter, resolved to sell his life dearly, brought in his umbrella, which gave him a quite casual hope-I-don't-intrude appearance as he stood at the Bar. —* Members at first disposed to regard whole matter as a joke. Cheered Mactvre when he came in at a half trot ; laughed when, the Bar pulled out, difficulty arose about making both ends meet. “That ’s the Chancellor of the

Lawson; ‘‘GoscHEen ought to go and lend a hand.” House ; general aspect more like a pearance at theatre on Boxing Night when audience waits for curtain to rise on new pantomime. Only the SPRAKER grave, even solemn; his voice occasionally rising above merry din with stern ery of ‘Order! order!” ** Of course, now they ‘re at the Bar they can order what they please,” said Tawwer. Well the Speaker didn’t hear him. Later, on eve of final division, he offered another remark in louder tone. SPEAKER thundered down upon him like a tor- nado, and Tawwer quiet for rest of sitting.

Turning his Back on his own Re solution. Hicxs-Bracu’s speech gave new and more serious turn to affairs. Concluded with Motion declaring Directors guilty of Breach of Privilege and sentencing them to admo- nition. But speech itself clearly made out that Directors were | u on a Breach of Privilege is no slight matter. * is ag seat

The Senoeant-at-Arms also | d dip|

Exchequer’s duty,” said Witrrip | Bursts of laughter and buzz of | conversation in all parts of the|

blameless; all the bother lying at door of Railway Servant had been dismissed. Speech, in short, turned ite beck on Read tion. This riled the Radicals; not to be soothed even by Mr. G. inter- posing in favourite character as Granp Otp Pactricator. Storm raged all night; division after division taken; finally, long past midnight, Directors again brought up to the Bar, the w almost shrivelled, a ce of Cona- / CHER’s umbrella testifying to the / mental suffering un e duri the seven hours to since last they stood Speaker, with awful mien and in terrible tones, “admonished” them ; and so to bed. Business done.—Cambrian Direc- tors admonished for Breach of ege. Tuesday, April 12.—House ad- journs to-day or Easter Holidays ; ood many adjourned after Fri- y's Sitting; some waited to hear Joxrm ing in his Budget last night. Few left to-day to wind up the business. Hvenes, gallant — who represents Wooiwich, — ere a few minutes ago. But he’s : “ ” gone too. “Sometimes,” he said, The Woolwich Infant “ goes off, with a far-away smile, “‘they call me ‘the Woolwich Infant.’ If | | am such avery big gun, perhaps the best thing I can do is to go off.” | I follow his example. Business done.—Adjourned fur Laster Holidays.

THE LEGEND OF THE MUTTON BONE. (By Our Newly-Married Poetess. ) WueEvw the world is full of flowers and of butterflies at play, I could sit beneath the roses eating chocolates all day ; But my heart is very heavy as I ponder with dismay On the Mutton Bone a-lying in the Larder! For Gores has squandered sixpence on a telegram from town, To say that he has come across “that dear old chappie—Browxe,” And to dine with us this evening he means to bring him down— _ And the Mutton Bone is lying in the Larder! I have just been down to see it, and my courage sinks a-new, — Though Cook has kindly i me her very

The Mutton Bone a-lying in the Larder. But I suddenly remember, with a blush of rosy pink, That Cook ! is given to the frequent use of drink, _ And if she once gets muddled up—perhaps she ’ll never think Of the Mutton Bone a-lying in the Larder ! As the western sun is gilding all the heather of the moor, Down the basement stairs I'm creeping—till a widely open door Shows me Cook in heavy slumber on her cherished kitchen floor— And the Mutton Bone is lying in the Larder! O Groner, there 'Il be no dinner, dear, for you and Browne to-day! I picture to myself the pretty words that you will say— And I seize my Gas net—and I wander far away From the Mutton Bone a-lying in the Larder!

Morro ror a Soar Co.—** Nothing like Lather.”

— —

ky NOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, = ky Pictures of any deseription, wil im no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed there will be no exception. welope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this

— . * — EE =n -

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL—Aram 16, 1892 WINE MERCHANTS AND GROCERS. 7 SYERY BAR axe RESTAURANT. ttle ole pie, will be sen m receipt of P.O. for i). MATHEWS | od B, HA RINGS Copeunnaar HERRY BRANDY. The Best liqueur, OOPING GOUGH, CROUP. ROCHE'S HERBAL EMBROCA’ co LD S. & H. HARRIS’S | S. & H. HARRIS'S HARNESS COMPOSITION |, EBONITE SADDLE PI PASTE (Warenrasor). LIEBIG OMPANY’S EXTRACT ? — “EYE D NEEDLES. . itwaKp a & “Sons, WRIGHT 9 fi COAL — = TAR: = SOAP MC FRUIT LOZENGE, YERY AGREEABLE TO TAKE. FOR CONSTIPATION, Intestinal - ep — E. GRILLON, 69, Queen Street, City, London. SOLD BY ALL CHEMISTS AND DRUGGISTS, 2a. Gd. A BOX. FAC-SIMILE or STAMP ON BACK oF EVERY TWO YARDS oF ALL CENUINE CHENG WOKLON TWEEDS, SPECIALITY FOR HUNTING AND RIDING BREECHES, TWEED SUITS, BOYS’ WEAR, AND ALL HARDWEAR. Continue to be supplied to Her Majesty the Queen. BEWARE OF IMITATIONS OF BROTH RED AND BROWN LADELS. PERFEGTUM. The Smallest Belling Up Umibrolis in the World. Cation! Avoid inferior — wy shed from all ring combined with ‘avon meth greatest com com pectness 8 of all Umbrolls Makers and Sutftters. y Borwicks BAKING | powder

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON . CHARIVARL—Aram 16, 1892. 7 4 fy Ride a cock horse lo Banbur Cross, To see a young | lady remove mop lar fo altic' wherever she. “24 With Brookes’: Monkey Bran The World’s most Marvellous Cleanser and Polisher. Makes Tin like Silver, Copper like Gold, Paint like New, Windows like Crystal, Brass Ware like Mirrors, Spotless Earthenware, Crockery like Marble, Marble White. FOR A THOUSAND HOUSEHOLD USES. Priaied by William Stuart Hmith, of No 3, Loraine Road, Holloway, im the Parish of St Mary, Islington, in the County of Middlesex, at the Printing "Lamstard ttrect, in the Precinct of Whiteminmn, ts the City sl Londcas cnt pubtianen him ut Ro. 85, Fleet Btseet, in the Parish of Bt. bride, City > J— a) >| . fe) u z a | a|' a —2 a