Punch 1891-04-25: Vol 100 Iss 2598

Page 1

F, C. BURNAND’S 160 Illustrations. 116 IVustrations. 108 Illustrations. 110 Mlustrations, iLLusTRATED “Cry Much Rather Quite Happy ‘PUNCH’ WRITINGS. Abroad. at Sea. at Home. Thoughts. : “a [Duapauny, AcuEw, & Co Lo. The illustrations perfectly accord with the humours of the author.”—Saturday Rev “ ‘6s. each.

7 N° 2598. VOLUME ONE HUNDRED = NT — . “0 0D mt —_—_— APRIL 25, < a ee OA ee el ee PUNE A VOLS Ae SENS PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY “"BONSd S238UH1L 201d W ic Ors F i) wl

~~

= — lelen: 85, FLEET STREET. AND SOLD BY ALL BOOKSELLERS. FRY’ S PURE COCOA } To secure this article, ask for “FRY’S PURE CONCENTRATED COCOA.”

egisered at the General Pest Office as a Newspaper.)

Page 2

THREE NEW NOVELS. PRETTY MISS SMITH Fiseerce Weeeer o 66 FANTASY. From the Italian of Mermese Genco. Gioth, Se 64; Paper, ts. 64. FROTH. From the Spanish of Dew Aewewwe Pacecete Vesoms. Cieth, &. 64; Paper, . 64 in. wa ] anda Wau Nerwewsee.? Red for Mie® BRADDUN SS LATEST FOVEL Autograph bastion, 2s. 64 , pieture cover, 2 ONE LIFE, ONE LOVE: a Bove Dy tee Author of “Lady Audieys 38 th ‘ don ® wvarw & Co. (Limited From ei) Booksellers ee § FAMOUS PROSE saameé Uniform and Aathoritetive Fag'teh patted by Witten Ancaee. Crowe fro, rice = 64. per volame ‘ beot!'s House—i«agur of Youth— Pillars of Roctety Yo Il.: Gheste—kaemy of the People Wid Deck Vai. Ili Lady Inger— Vikings at Heigeiand—Pretenders. Voi, TV bmpeicr and Galilee: Orown 6+ r er cover, price One Shilling. ROSMERSHOL M. A Drama tn Four Acts. stron Goorr, 4, Warwick Lane LONDON LIFE ASSOCIATION. a83v mass 7 Yr¥t Town MILLIONS. MUTUAL ASSURANCE AT LEAST COST No. 81, King William Street, F.C. THE STANDARD LIFE ASSURANCE COMPANY ESTABLISHED 1825. Accumulated Fund, ‘7 Millions Stg, FOR PROTLCTION LINIWLSIANI P EDINBURGH, 8 George 8t (Head Office) LONDON, 68 King William 6treet, B.C. @ 8 Pall Mall East, 5. w. DUBLIN, 66 Upper Sackville Street. Uranches & Agencies in India & the Colonies PATRONIZED BY THE WOYAL FAMILY. A Beal Sea Bath in your own Boom. TIDMAN'S SEA SALT. TO CURE ALL HEADACHE, HEADACHE, HEADACHE, USE HOFFMAN'S HARMLESS HEADACHE POWDERS. Tested in many of the severest cases, and always proved effectual. They contain no oplam, bromides, or narcotics, and the highest medical authorities have pro- nounced them harmless. Thousands now attest their value, and none need suffer from headache. A TRIAL WILL OONVINOE. See that you get HOFFMAN'S HARMLESS HEADACHE POWDERS. Your own Obemist, and al) the Wholesale Honses. Price ls. 44. per box, Post Free frem J. K. MATTERSON, OMEMIST, 108, NEW OXFORD ST., LONDON. PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—Aram 25, 1891. LIGN - ALOE. FRANGIPANNI. POUDRE D’ AMOUR Prepared by Picann Feenss, Parfumeurs). A Grane Powder combining every édevderatam, Hygienic and Cosmetic, for beautifying and soften- ing the Skin. It will be equally welcomed by all, for teparting & meet natural fraicheur to the com pletion Gentiemen will Gnd it post soothing and pleasaat for use after shaving Im three tints; Blanche for felr skine, Naturelle for darker complexions, and Rachel ior use by artifcial | “ Price is. hy Post, free from observation, ls. 34. To be had of all liairdressers, Chemists, &e Whelessle Depot: B. HOVENDEN & SONS, —Si, KEMNERS STREET, W. And ‘a0 , CITY ROAD, EC, LONDON MAPPIN & WEBB'S SPOONS & FORKS By Special Warrants of 6 Aegina Quren 1. « Empress we tte oat mh. the Prineuee of Wales m = Any Length Sold. Ca Paid and above to any part Ne Aeewrs on Mipoie- Man EGERTON BURNETT, Wellington, Somerset, England. RANSOMES’ At the Jubilee Meet- ing of the K.A.8.8 Winsor, Ber saute, the Queen Prussia = 3, chased a Ransome Lawn Mower LAWN MOWERS! THE BEST in the WORLD. “New Avromaros.” “Cuam Avromarom,” “New Paam,” ! a every requirement. Month's Free Trial. and Carrisge Paid. all Ironmongers. RANSOMES, 913 & SEPPERIES, Léa. Ipswich. Supplied For HEALTH. For ene BUSINESS* “SWIFT” AND “CLUB” LES. Over 20 Years the Leading Machines Leadoa—15 & 16, Eelvora Viadact. Lasers Fase. [em@emD - COVENTRY MACHINISTS’ CO., LIM. FLORILINE. FOR THE TEETH AND BREATH. Is the BEST LIQUID DENTIFRICE in the World. Prevents the decay of the TEETH. Renders the Teeth PEARLY WHITE Is perfectly hormiess, and Delicious to the Taste. Is partly com of Honey, and extracts from sw herbs and plants. Of ell Chemists at MY gy throughout the world 64. per bottle. FLORILINE TOOTH POWDES caly, Put up in glass jara. Price le Prepared only by The Anglo-American Drug Company, Limited, 33, Farringdon Read, London, EC. HOOPING COUGH, CROUP. effectual cure without internal en | rie—E. Acann, 328, Rue St. rtin New York—F. Poveras & Co., North William Breet. STREETER & COMP." SPECIALITIES. D!AMONDS, white, and modern cut, RUBIES of the pigeon’s blood colour, RARE and CURIOUS GEMS, and SAPPHIRES of the true blue colour, PEARLS of the finest lustre, D!AMONDS of all colours. OXFORD.-MITRE HOTEL ons OF THE MOST FIRST-CLASS HOTELS IN THE Sthesen LONDON, ENG, ect as FINEST SITUATION EVERY LUXURY ap COMFORT MOST RécHERCHE CUISINE. VERY MODERATE | | STREETER & COMP., Gem Experts, Bond St., London. ' BUTTER-SCOTE eae BENZI COLLAS,—For ARTISTS, A ZINE IALLY GUOD MEDIUM for Pointing on Bik, Satin, Gauze Lincrusta, Wood Canvas, Class, Tapestry, Cards, Leather, &c., &e. ‘Bogut COLLAS.—Ask for “ Colla’ CL, ANS GLUVEs.—CLEANSB DRESsE* BREMUVES TAK, OIL, PAINT, GREASE FROM FURNITURE, CLOTH, 4c. ia E GOLLAS.—For ARTISTS. A Sr BCIALLY GvOD MEDIUM for wm on silk. . Gauze, Lincrusta, W oud Glass, Tapestry, Cards, Leather, &e., & BENZINE COLLAS.—Try “Colla.” See the word COLLAS on the Label and Cap Extra refined, nearly odourless. wing becoming qu.te odouries: BENZINE COLLAS,—Ask for “Collas* Agents: ration aod take no other. every where, 6¢., le., oma le. 64 Botte J. Saxon & Sows, 489, Oxford Street, “XXX” BARREL PENS. BALL-POINTED. Made of the finest stesl, beautifully fniched, ant glide over the paper jike a leod peneu. In One Boxes. Of all Stationers, + ORMISTON & GLASS, 17, St. BrideSt., £0 — co.oOonmEm cen’ leu~e es coer ww

Page 3

\ Saubu | | approaches from the back-room ; she is pallid, | able mediwm brown.) | Mrs. Heppa; my nice new hat Arar 25, 1891.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARIL MR. PUNCH’S POCKET IBSEN. (Condensed and Revised Version by Mr P.'s Own Harmless Ibsenite.) No. IIL—HEDDA GABLER. Acr I, Scenr—A Sitteng-room cheerfully decorated in dark colours, Broad doorway, hung with blac crape, in the wall at back, leading to a back Drawing-room, in which, above a sofa in black horsehair, hangs a posthumous portrait of the late General Ganter. On the piano ts a handsome pall. Through re panes of the back Drawing-room wi are seen a wall and a cemetery. Settees, sofas, chairs, §c., handsomely upholstered in black bombazine, and studded with small round nails. Bouquets of immortelles and dead grasses are lying everywhere about. Enter Aunt Jute (a good-natured looking lady in a smart hat). Aunt J. Well, 1 declare, if I believe Groner or Heppa are up yet! (Enter Gronck Tasman, humming, stout, careless, spectacled.) my dear boy, I have called before breakfast to inquire how you Heppa are after returning late last night from = long honeymoon. Oh, dear me, yes; am I not your old Aunt, and are not these atten- tions usual in Norway ? , George. Good Lord, yes! My six months’ honeymoon has been quite a little travelling scholarship, eh? have been examining archives. Think of that / Look here, I’m going to write a book all about the domestic interests of the Cave-dwellers during the Deluge. I’m a clever young Norwegian man of letters, eh ? Aunt J, Fancy your knowing about that too! Now, dear me, Heaven George. Let me, as a dutiful Norwegian nephew, untie that smart, showy hat of yours. Unties it, and pats her under chin.) Well, to be sure, you have got yourself really up,— fancy that! [ He puts hat on chair close to table. Aunt J. (giggling). It was for Heppa’s sake —to go out walking with her in. (Heppa ] with cold, open, steel-grey eyes ; her hair is not very thick, but what there 1s of it is an agree- Ah, dear Heppa! [She attempts to cuddle her. Hedda (shrinking back). Ugh, let me go, do! Looking at Aunt Juxie’s hat.) Txsman, you must really tell the housemaid not to ‘leave = old hat — - = —r~ %i- tT Uh, is it your hat spoke, 1 ‘m sure Aunt J. ( aaneyel. Geol cious, little at I bought to go out walking with you in! George (patting on the back). Yes, Heopa, she did, and the parasol too! Fancy, Aunt JoLre always positively thinks of every- thing, eh ? Hedda (coldly), You hold your e. walking with your aunt! One doesn’t do such “> = George (beaming). Isn’t she a charming woman ? Such fascinating ry My a a eh? Fan A = bat ( unt J. Ah, dear GzoroR, you ought in happy—but (brings out a flat package wrapped s newspaper) look here, my dear boy ! “T am a gay Norwegian dog.” Catch me going out! Hedda, Gronex, go and write an invitation at once ; (Groner looks around oo his slippers, takes them up and goes Now we can talk, my little Taxa. Do you remem to pull your hair when we met on the stairs, and say it off ? peeing people with copious hair always does irritate me. Mrs. E, Goodness, yes, you were swage so playful and friendly, and I was so afraid of you. Iam still. And p I’ve run awa from my husband. E ing around him was distasteful to me. And Mr. Lévzone and I were comrades—he was dissipated, and I got a sort of power over him, and he made a real out of me— which I wasn’t before, you know ; but, oh, I do 1’m real now. He talked to me and taught me to think—chiefly of him. So, when Mr. Lévsore came here, naturally I came too. There was nothi else todo! And fancy, there is another woman whese shadow sti between him and me! She wanted to shoot him once, and so, of course, he can never forget her. I wish I knew her name— perhaps it was that red-haired opera-singer ? Hedda (with cold self-command), Very likely—but nobody does that sort of thing here. Hush! Run away now. Here comes Tesman with Judge Brack. (Mrs. E. out ; GRORGE comes in with i —~ es 5 2 ones os elastic aa) a round face, care rus istinguss ofile, ow awfully funny you do look by daylight, J | = Brack (holding his hat and dropping his eye-glass). Bincerest thanks. Still the same grasetal manners, dear little Mrs, Hen—Trsmaw! I came to invite dear Tesman to a little bachelor- to =. moon. brate his return from his long is customary in Scandinavian . It will be a lively affair, for lama bape aa dog. George. Asked out— without my wife! of that! Eh? _ Oh, dear me, yes, Z’ll come Brack, By the way, Livnone is here ; he has written a wond ‘book, which has made a quite ex sensation. Bless me, yes! Lévsore—fancy ! ell, I am—glad. Such gifts! And I was so painfully certain he had gone to the bad. Fancy eh? But become of him one pale Siow, Oe I am so anxious to know ! Brack. Well, he may possibly put up for the Professorship against you, h you are an uncommonly clever man of letters—for a Norwegian—it’s not wholly improbable ay ny cut ~ Fad Judge B tat eorge. But, ere, good Lord, Ju RACK '—(ges- ticulating) —that would show an incredible want of consi- deration forme! I married on my chance of ing that Professorship. A man like Livnore, too, who ’t even been respectable, eh? One doesn’t do such things as that! Brack. Really? You forget we are all realistic and un- conventional persons here, and do all kinds of odd things. But don’t worry yourself! (He goes out, George (to Hedda), Oh, I say, Heppa, what's to become of our Fairyland now, eh ? We can’t have a liveried ser- vant, or give dinner-parties, or have a horse for riding. Fancy that Hedda (slowly, and wearily). No, we shall really have to G Re oe eel oll oe font 2 d eorge (c up). Still, we see Aunt JULIE every day, oe be something, and I've got back my old slippers 6 shan’t be altogether without some amusements, eh ? Hedda (crosses the floor), Not while I have one thing to amuse myself with, at all events. George (opens it), What ? my dear old m shoes! myslippers!| George (beaming with joy). Oh, Heaven be praised and thanked (Breaks down.) This is positively te0 touching, MiEDed, eh ? you| for that! My goodness, so you have! And what may that be, remember how badly I wanted them all the honeymoon? Come and} Heppa, eh? just have a look at them—you may / He (cf the doorway, with suppressed a Yes, Groner, you Hedda. Bother your old slippers and your old aunt too! (Aunt/ have the old slippers of the attentive Aunt, I have the horse- JULIE goes out annoyed, oy by Groner, still thanking her | pistols of the deceased G . warmly for the slippers; Heppa yawns ; GEORGE comes back and| George (in an agony), The pistols! Oh, my goodness! what laces his old slippers reverently on the table.) Why, here comes Mrs. -LVSTED —another early caller! She had irritating hair, and went about making a sensation with it—an old flame of yours, Enter Mrs, Exverep; she is pretty and with copious wavy white-gold hair and round prominent eyes, and the a frightened rabbit, Mrs. E. (nervous), Oh, please, I’m so perfectly in despair. Estzxt Livsore, you know, who was our Tutor; he’s written such a large new book. I inspired him. Oh, I know I don’t look like it—but I did—he told me so. And, i this dangerous wicked town all alone, and he’s a reformed character, and 1’m so frightened about him ; so, as the wife of ‘a’ Sheriff twen’ tome older than me, I came up to look after Mr. Livnone. Do as =) m here—then I can meet him. You will? How perfectly lovely | of you! My husband ’s so fond of him! I’ve heard. | shot— manner of | 4 Hedda (with cold eyes). General Gasten’s pistols—same which I r ing hersel a ons Ly oy em ym Inszw—a very different at t awing-room. ‘eorge (at ay. chanting efter her). Dearest Hepp, not those angerous things, eh ? Why, they have never once known to shoot straight yet! Don’t! Haveacatapult. For my sake, have a catapult ! { Curtain, Bow-Wow ! Tur Rarxes’ teeth were bared—a most terrible sight !— At the Messenger Companies. Now all seems joy For the Public, the P. 0., the Co., and the Boy! The Dog in the Jouw Buu did affri But—his bark is rather worse than te | VOL, 6, 8

Page 4

Ws ~‘ . 7 \ OVA SN aS ®\, ~ \ ‘ ‘\ WN WD N SONS OF BRITANNIA: OR, THE UNITED SERVICE. (Tus Senior Admiral of the Fleet, Srn Provo Wittam Panay Watwts, G.C.B., who was in the action between the British Frigate Shannon and 0 on June Ist, 1813 (and took command of the Shannon after the disabling of her Captain Partie Vers Baoxs), cele- the American F brated the b th anniversary of his birthday on April 12th, 1891. Lieutenant Guant “displayed great bravery and judgment” (Times) in the defence of Thobal against the Manipuris, April, 1891.] a

Page 5

—_—_—__ Aram 25, 1891.] 195

SONS OF BRITANNIA. 1813—1891. Britannia loquitur :— From Boston Bay to Thobal fort Is a far cry, but bravery bri The centuries, and of space = sport. The shot that swept the salt sea-ridges When Vere Baoxs of the Shan- non smote The foe, and, struck, left Wat- LIs smiting,— Sends echoes down the years that oat To Thobal o’er the sounds of fighting. Memories of greatness make men great ! . Brave centenarian, you with pleasure May greet the youth who guard our State. . You, whose long memories can measure So wide a sweep of England’s war, Mast joy to see her served as y As in those sad mad days afar, When, gnaing on her children coldly, She alienated kindred Which might till now beaten loyal. At least you both played weil your parts, Though blunderers blind, official, royal, May then or now have marred the work Of arduous years, and gallant spirite, ve

“GENERAL IDEA” Hittrne ow A Novet Pian ror ovr Coast Derexces, My sons at least no shirk ort ney ot The old tradition, duteous stands For the old » wherever Brave Wr fellant rave WA RANT, Aaya My sons! Unfaltering, un- hairs, or youth’ gre or youth's The looks, of ; triot ri spl pa Not desperate odds in war's wild 8 Shall strike its flush to craven eae: or *mealey” bastion, Of shot-torn ship, or red “‘ death- e What odde? Of danger nought I Whilst thus my sons to me can Come what, come will! Whilst cen age And youth in Spring strike You'll map my Flag still flying 0 The Yankee Oracle on the Three-Volume Novel. le will not stand it—no! Of Fiction. mae & ten . Yanks want but ais hese below, Nor want that little long / (But oh! our (Saxon) stars one 4, Romance is not (yet) ruled by Yanks!)

SONGS OF THE UN-SENTIMENTALIST. |! ei Tux Tax-Cotiecrorn’s Heart. I know his step, his ring, his knock, I hear him, too, explain, With emphasis my nerves that shock, That he ** won’t call again!” I know that bodes a storm— A summons looms a- | I follow his retreating form, And note his stealthy tread ! Some grace to beg, implore, beseech, ’Twere vain! Let him depart ! I know no human cry can reach That Tax-Collector’s heart ! He kept his word. To claim that rate He never called i to wait, ~~ me Vestry, he oon e their purpose plain. I know not how, I missed the day,— But that fell summons came. Two shillings costs it took to play That Tax-Collector’s game I own the outlay was not much! But, that is not the smart : ’Tis that no anguished shriek can touch That Tax-Collector’s heart!

“Mors ur Vrra.”—A fine , ty Tat "Alort Mal oh esas Hitpa Witsow, Messrs. Liorp, and Warxix Mitts, and Dr, Mackewzre, as conductor or con-doctor, I should have given, writes our correspondent, a full and enthusiastic ac- ag < it, but that I was seen the me by two persons near me. w talk and wouldn’s listen. Thank they didn’t stay throughout the ance. In 4 theatre they'd have been hushed down, but

that a tating duet only in immediate neighbour- hood of the talkers; and then noone wants g the ormance of sacred music. It’s like brawling in church,

QUEER QUERIES. Tue Trrues Question.—I am the Vicar of a coun Church in Wales; but owing to the failure of my last attempt to distrain on the stock of a neighbouring , on which oceasion I was over a hedge by an infuriated cow, my family and are starving. I wish to know if I can legally pawn the lectern, the ancient pit, and several rare old sedilia in the Church? Or they would be exchanged for an immediate supply of their value in groceries. —U aoenr. Awwoyance From Nztcusovr.—lI live ina quiet street, and my next-door neighbour has Seneetiny comsvented hp house Satve ried Fish Shop. e of his boxes front garden. Havel the and eating contents, su) for human consumption y filled with the aroma of questionable Eorrogt, and very 7 wanes. I ~-T. , for com an received Pied language. Peat should be my next step P—PeRPLexep. Dexzp or Grirt.— Upon my eldest son’s marriage I wish to make him « really hand; some money present. My ides is to hand over to him £100, on condition that he repays me ten per cent. as long as I live, my age now being forty-five. Then as to security. Had I better get a Bill of Sale on the furniture, into my t of seizing them, ing them to be fit ? My house is per-

which he has just had given him by his wife’s father for their new house, or how can I most effectually bind him /—Gzwxnovs Parent. _ Hoxrpay Tarr.— Would one of your readers inform me of « locality where I can take my next summer’s holiday of a month, for £3 10s. fare included? It must be near ur the nea and moun with a gen cing diene Good gand a Strict] honest -house keepers and romantic surroundings indispensable.— Easy To PLEASE,

COMING DRESS. (Sweet Seventeen to the would-be Swmpluary Reformers at the Kensington Town Hail.) VaInty on Fashion you make war, i , and t Bazaar, her Light! or g, like the Motine vet Ma "Oscas Win ~ a . ing, at Mrs. ILDE shall welcome And we with delight Queer robes that make a “a fright?” Pooh-pooh! We're simply imperturbable, gee Toe of Yen bable. The “* ¢ Dress?”—that’s all sheer humming, We only care for Dress be-Coming !

Page 6

| which tradition has | and, on ‘the whole, he | sort. Moreover, he 196 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL [Aram 25, 1891, ™ | MODERN TYPES. (By Mr. Punch's Own Type Writer.) No, XXV.—THE ADULATED CLERGYMAN. Tae Adulated Clergyman possesses many of the uine qualities of the domestic cat, in addition + a large stock of the characteristics eanenee © L. humble buat mis- understood animal. Like a cat, yy is eee sleek and become an adept in the art of ingratiating - pg Ly skirts and dispense comforts. Like a cat, too, he has an insinuating manner; he can purr quite admirably in luxurious surroundings, he prefers to attain his —t. — by « circuitous method rather than + 4- the LF and aia honest folk which is employed b the canine = 4 hy, - but— comes the difference — | hotasuuse of cthaoy auum to ebtengs end sotuin bie eine stuns [ap | masters. than hisown, And if it were useful to set out the points of differ- ence in greater detail, it might be said that the genuine as opposed to the traditional cat often ws true affection and quite a dignified resentment of snubs, is never unduly familiar, and makes no oe of being better than ‘other cats whose coats happen to be of a different colour. But it is better, perhaps, at once to consider the Adulated Clergyman in his own person, and not in his points of resemblance to or difference from other animals. He who afterwards becomes an Adalated Cl man has probably been a mean and grubby schoolbo 7 with a wretched but irresistible inclination to sneak, to defend himself for so _— on principle. It is of course wrong to rules at school, authority must be respected, — must be obeyed, bat it is an honourable tradition amongst schoolboys that boys who offend aa offences must come —should owe their con- t punishment to the unassisted efforts of ys ee who hold rule, rather than to the caleu- lating interference of another boy, who, though he may have shared the offence, is unwilling to take his proportion of the result. A sneak, there- fore, has in all ages been invested with a badge of infamy, which no amount of strictly scholastic su00ess ever availed to remove from him ; and his fellows, recognising that he has saved his own skin at the expense of theirs, do their best to make up the difference to him in contempt and abuse. Schoolboys are not distinguished for a Wy fastidious reticence. If they — they never | i hesitate to say so, and they have a painfully | downright way of giving reasons for their be- / haviour, which is apt to jar on a temperament 4 ‘iq y so sensitive that its owner always and only treads ¥ |: the path of high principle when self-interest 2 points him in the same direction. The school career ye iho Sutaso pastes wee net, Chevatenn, a very happy one, for at school are no feeble women to be oagtraed by heartrending revelations of a noble nature at war with universal wickedness, and all but shattered by the assaults of an watesting world. Nor, strange to say, do schoolmasters, asa rule, value — who ranges himself on their side in the eternal war between boys However, he ome = roceeded in due time to a University. There he let it be known that his ultimate destination was the Church, but he had his own method of qualifying for his profession. He was not afflicted with the possession of great muscular st , or of a very robust health. Neither the river nor the football-field attracted him. Cricket was a bore, athletic sports were a burden; the rough manners of the ordinary Undergraduates made him shudder. How- ever, since at College there are sets of all sorts and sizes, he soon managed to fashion for himself a little world of effete and mincing idlers, who adored themselves even more than they worshi one another. They drank deep from the well of modern French litera ture, and chattered interminably of Ricnerry, Guy DE Mavrasasy, Pact Bovrert, the rest. They themselves were favourite native writers; but their morbid ee their love-lorn elegies, their versified mixtures of passion quasi- ee y were too sacred for print, though they were honours, mes pted to thin and fluttering airs, and sung to oe private. Most of these gentlemen were “ lox ” in their ex- amination, but the hero of this sketch degree without _ Boon « he was ordained, was plunged ruthlessly into an East- End and disa for a time from view © emerged, ip Steve several The occasion was = of a Guild for the Conversion of Music-hall attached to more than one Music-hall, ont having stadied the life de prés, he knew all its temptations, and was deepak foun anpedense on to tie bast eescan af EE tien aie parvaed it The details of his story, 2 they S08 Sas SS saath of the reverend nwane Bigtny epleed. a ey interested, ; and, y newspaper ga oe gel dy yh) wah 6 pole at ie een professional fortune of the Adulated Clergyman (for ieee Shortly afterwards his biogra: 7 ‘ithe of + ype par etd aed yr meng in a wane ppeeee under and he wrote a touching letter on He il “The Plague Spots ~ ” in which an eloquent a was made for sub- of the inhabitants of that chill and neglected Pho peesch ? Raelly, not? another: ‘ Have ms heard Mr. ~Borand- Oh, you should. , 80 Reatiee all oth others. You must om with me next Sunday, ad "thus ually he gathered round him in his remote -— a band of faithfal hed gy - 4, from the West End be te deme of his unconventional eloquence. A not fastidious critic might, perhaps, have been startled by a note ity in references to sacred events, as well as the tone of easy und intimate familiarity with which he of those whose names are generally mentioned with bated brea printed capital oeene: bat the most refined women seem an additional fascination. His sermons dealt in! was at the same time plain and highly-coloured. He congregation roundly as the meanest of To the women he was icularly a E He tore to rags their little vesture of self-respect, | shattered their nerves with emotional appeals, | harrowed all their feelings, and Selebomnel them 20 violently with prophecies of wrath, that that the | left chareh after shedding gallons o emptying — expiatory —_ L the sub- scription-plate, in a state at pious pulp. + In the drawing-rooms, however, to which he manner 8 reso His voice became soft ; oil into the wounds he had inflicted. “jy ow are you aa Aw would say, in his caressing way. neu any better? And the dunes spirits? has meditation prevailed over it? a “A me! it isthe lotof the to suffer, and silen / perhaps, were best.” ereupon +* is treated as a Father Confessor of domestic toi, | and young married women their hus- misunderstand them mJ. eee gg add that his qa pee is rospered, his missions and retreats overflowed with , and | his Church was overloaded with floral tributes. The brutal tribe of men, however, sneered at him, and perversely | suspected his motives ; nor were they reconciled to him when they saw him relieving the gloom of a generally (so it was understood) ascetic | existence by dining at a smart restaurant with a galaxy of devoted | women, whom he proposed to conduct in person toa theatre. Such, | then, is, or was, the Adulated Clergyman. It is unnecessa' pursue his career further Perhaps he q ed with his Bishop, | and unfrocked himself ; possibly o: found himself in a Court of Law, where an unsympathetic j jury recorded a painful verdict against him. OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. My faithful ‘‘Co.” says he has been reading the latest novel by ‘“Jounw Srranes Wrnrer,” called, The Other Man's Wife, a8 French would observe, ‘* without pleasure.” As a rule he rather enjoys the works of the Author of Bootle’s Baby, and rd stories of a semi-ladylike semi-military character ; but the newest tale is a = many for him. The “man” is a mixture of snob and be enad,” the ‘other man” a combination of coward and aly, the “wife” a worthy mate to both of them. The plot shows traces of construction, it ia difficult to account for the eer hr in- tense astonishment at inheriting a title from his cousin, and the far- clearing tional West-End murder. My “Co. 4 E ‘ : E E E : a

Page 7

Aram, 25, 1891.) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL Australian cousins. My ‘‘Co.” says by ee — ” is a par- ticularly pleasant young person, thanks you good aad beauty. ; cn orn 4 her as a sample— h ** people’ ** pan ui 80 satisfact il ; Oo the whole it would seem ct Andegions whe bave ‘made | sb their pls by, buying and selling land are better at a distance—say A vi ile Sacco faithful “Co.” that the Clarendon s of India hes nares contains’ @ Stay Seame then the Life a Mayo, a work recently contributed a & 3s Sir Wittam Witson Hunter. y written, hae in the pleasantest form nagiadhia, @ test oventtal chapter in the History of Hindostan. Be SA a La a ee interest, as the subject of the memoir was on ae yeaa meunien- stood, and consequently ted. Even Charivari wus ints tothe rst Basi Sed Phe le pete L * at his death'stood ini on ey Gee ao dessert, as it had led the fire of raillery The author has, by edited ued ge has Spire in the distant t East. Since Miss Fronence Warnpen’s House on the Marsh, says the Baron, I have not read a more exciting tale than the same suthoress Pretty Miss Smith. It should be swallowed right off at a sitting, for if your interest in it is allowed to cool during an interval, you may find it a little difficult to get up the steam to the high-pressure point necessary for the real enjoyment of a sensati story. Tae Baron pe Boox- Worms. SILENT SHAKSPEARE, Dear ee. Eprror, great success that has attended the ,pevenntien of L’ Enfant ‘Relow at the Prince of Wales’s Theatre has npmneee me to make a # tion in the cause of English Art. de Fo SeAKsPRAREin dumb show? The Bard himself introduced it in Play Scene.” Allow me to suggest it thus :— Scanz—A more remote part of the Platform in Elsinore Castle, Enter Guost ; then LET. Hamlet (in dumb show). ‘‘ Where wilt thou lead me? Speak!” | i,. (In dumb show.) ‘I'll go no further.” Ghost, by ki his hand towards the horizon, shows that his hour a Palas. The latter part of his description is ae 0 his shrinking about the stage, wearores Som ccfaly intense heat v Hamlet buries his face wn his pitifully, expressing Bd ph... POS hi d th Thost repudiates c turning up his nose, and throw forward his hands ; and then hen, by ipvinting Srom his mouth to his ear, demands HAMLET’s serious attention. Hamlet touches his own lips, points to Guost, slaps his heart, and 4 intimating that the Guost 1s to ** Bpeak |” and he is * bound ear, Ghost explains that he is his father’s ees by stroking Hamuer’s face, ~~ his on and then corte a we 4. impo to weird music, descriptive of his prison-house. é conc appealing to Hamurr’s love Sor him by ats f ae clasped hands to his own heart, and then pointing towards side of his son. azamiet jerks "Nie hands upwards, as if saying, ‘Oh eaven Ghost then asks for revenge by touching his dagger, and pointing towards the sky. He acts the murder in the orden, showing the serpent who stung him by gliding about the on his chest, like | the boneless man. He s his murderer to be of his own blood | sonator | by walking up and down as himself, and then in the same way, | but with a slight limp, as cd Ax were his brother. Hamlet night here exhibit ‘‘ Zadkiel’s Almanack” as “* prophetic,” os ae the sole of his shoe for “‘soul;” for “mi Uncle” t¢ would be sufficient to produce a pawonbroker’s ticket : —* Oh my prophetic | | andgra | soul! Mine Undle ! a Then the Ghost in great detail acts the murder in the rome codating the apples and the singing birds, the setting sun, §c., | He shows the enn @ of the poison after ts p oe pak ‘e bush, and its arrival in the laboratory. He represents t he actual pouring of the poison in his ear. He hints too ( the action of the bot-riar that he was never r and concludes a most spirited Ballet d’ Action by a pon F "sketoh of the Paling of the ineffectual es of the glow-worm. As he leaves to the music of “Then you'll Remember Me,” Haier imitates cock- crow, which brings a entertainment to in oer termination, _ Sarel ing Ta th Rye oy and Foremost. Miss Eames better even than week. Nep pe Reszef not so diabolical a Mephis- topheles as M. Maurer. ee ee, ee ee | et tia ack ep pe Reszxt Roméo and The Friar. Why the waltz alone, which ought to be on every organ besides Miss Eames’s, but which, strange to say, Cards held by Druriolanus Operaticus. isn’t thoroughly popular, should be h to make an Opera ; but it’s like tho wapenlizn of eno swallow in th ; er | is almost come, when he is bound to render himself to eulphurous and| rrr. °Werer Wel sung, it does not do everything. It’s « dul to chek .— Carmen again. House not immense, Persons “of note” chiefly on the Jutia same as before; therefore refer to previous notice. everywhere wants img|than in any other of them. Somebody or other complained of my writing ‘‘ Giitcx”’ instead of ** GLuck. ” 4 — t like the two dots ; sd too many for the poor chap alread write it ** ne and then he can go to the tor of ** Davip- ~— —— = ask —e take the _ a = Re ia in Grivcx wonder if my strongly-spectacle’d fau er writes the name of Hawpet correctly ? oe » tm of error ; or if he does, never admits it. I like it pm cee to dots, as * Hiwpet,” myself ; it looks so uncommonly Saturday.— Tannhduser. Full and appreciative house to welcome the rentrée of Madame ALBANI, wae, was simply perfection and the getecion of in Wagner as the self-sacrificing fcing. heroine falls into any sort = * ee Faletafian Kate Knight t of view, no finer representation of the then Mile rable i Sorta way as the moral Wolframo, and Sones Aseesees the gravest of Landgraves. The full title of Story of « Bard who sang 2 questionable hind of Bong in the hahaa ut Maelty, and hat come ef © narine effect at end of First Act, when prancing steeds, with seoond. park-hack eaten leau of bold but impecunious warriors re- mare 3 pase, Oe oe png IL. raring the orton with an efletionats tm when- in in view. Lg bony CHAMBERLAIN, viewing the scene from his private | Salslne this rem isted of cy sranaement Tannhduser being the Tambourine, and Wolfram Charming. Great the Bones! ave a up many « hint for Court etiquette from le scene. OPERATIC NOTES. Nuppy Reszet Not so goblineske, e composition of a summ Ca and carriage service after the theatres reform ouing altogether. We may not be worse off capital of Europe, but we ought to be far ahead ; so to relieve him and soothe him, I'll say £0 correct & person never of better im — -moral t view Sd per- y at least, if not pein —of the sensual could be found den Pees; eae, joo enus Ravoott. M, Macnet was admirable in every this Opera should be Tannhduser ; or, at quite half-a-crown an hour, are brought descends. to see Albani- Elizabeth reoei the guests among the ladies-of-the-court-chorus came Then how familiar to us all is the in a row, like our old friends the success. Repeat it by all means. se seg Oe Et EAA OUI SORE

Page 8

OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL [Arat, 25, 1891, 198 PUNCH, ——————— Dy. ; ik i) Mi Sil a mel i ha if CHIVALRY AT THE BREAKFAST-TABLE. " Now, Coox, Jost you Loox mErs! Loox at THAT Prece or Bacon I've susT GrveN your Mistress ! 8 Worsr Cur I ever saw ix my Lire !—anp tars Piece I'm susT Gornc TO TAKE MYSELF 18 ONLY A LITTLE BETTER! Ir’s THe THICKEST AND “PLEASE CIVE ME A PENNY, SIR!” A New Sono ro aw Otp Tons. Poor Income-Tazx Payer, loquitur :— Prease give me a Penny, Sir! My hope is almost dead ; You hold the swag in that black bag, And high = lift your head. Some years | have been asking this, But no one heeds my plea. Will you not give me something then, Thu year, good Mister G. ? Ob! please give me a Penny! Please give me a Penny, Sir ! “ow won't say “no” to me, Because 1’m poor, and feel the pinch _ Of dreadful ** Schedule D” ! You're so high-dried, and so correct, So honest and austere ! Remember the full ** Tanner,” Sir, I’ve stumped up year by year, And give me a Penny! Please give me a Penny, Sir! My Income is but small, And the hard Tax laid on our backs I should not pay at all. But I’m too feeble to resist, And do not like to lie ; ule D, And Sixpence, under Torments me till I ery, Do please give me a Penny, Sir ! Two hundred pounds per year, Leaves little room for “* exes ;’ And ’tisn’t only public men That “* lack of pence” much vexes. So please give me a Penny, Sir! The mysteries of High Finance I don’t presume to plumb ; So year by year my back they shear, are that they ’ll find me damb. But the oft- worm will turn ; ** Demand Notes” never slack ; And “‘ Schedule D” fast at twice three, Breaks the wage-earner’s back. _ So please give me a Penny, Sir!) The moneyed swells who make ‘‘ returns,” oa at Lr Ned tee "t "s scanty purse, The small hes till 8 ’ How hard ’tis to both ends meet, When hard times tightly nip ; cea dan ~ da ann . op ty oy AR enny, Sir! , told, Fygn pn poe Fane, Se! Mathored by seen criarshed li a . ‘ Silent so —from pri Ab! listen to thei Sir, Whowe lifa is ous lou fight to i one Tho well from tho hewse-dece. Oh, please give me a Penny, Sir! ** Roogz ux Unsz.”— Dr. Rossow Roosz has returned to town after a trip to Madeira. “SWEET STRIFE.” By an Unionist MP. Wuen Parwert’s mocked by Hxaty, In strident voice and squealy ; When Heaty’s snubbed by Parnett, In voice as from the charnel— I understand the windy Wild charm of Waewenr’s shindy. Discord " When Harmony sounds odious ; Than Israfel more dear is Old Erin’s latest Eris / THE IN-KERRECT KERR. ving its manifold perils and penalties. Easy ? es,—about as ‘easy as ** easy ” with a serrated oyster- knife! Mrs. ao Mr. Punch would fain hope, to exacting if —_

Page 9

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—<Arnam 25, 1891.

“PLEASE GIVE ME A PENNY!”

Nexpy Ixcome-Tax Parzr (log.). “‘HOPE YOU WON'T FORGET ME THIS TIME, 8IR!!” a

Page 10

=o he “4 =) acec I Iw E arm M

Page 11

——— Arar 25, 1891.} PUNCH, OR THE FOR BETTER OR WORSE! (Two Views of the Same Subject.) Posstste Romance. Scenr—A Dungeon beneath the Castle Moat. Wife chained to a post, with bread and water beside her. Enter Husband, with cat-o’ -nine-tails, Husband, And now, after ten days’ seclusion, will you make cver your entire property to me, signing the deed | with your life’s blood ? ; | Wife (in a feeble voice). Never! You may kill me, | but I will defy you to the last! Husband, Then die! (He is — to aay oy ye met 7 by a Messenger from Court o . J Messenger. In the name of the Law, release your | tii prisoner ! VOPTEEE "Husband. Foiled! | a. [Joy of Wife, and tableau, as the Curtain falls. | Propaste Reatirr. | Scune—The Church-door of a fathionable Church. Wife bidding adieu to Husband, Husband, Surely, now that my name and fortune are yours, you will reconsider your decision, and at least accompany me back to our wedding breakfast ? Wife (in a firm voice). Never! You may kill me, but I will defy you to the last! Husband, This is rank nonsense! You must take my arm. (He is — © San Pie fend oe ne, is met by a Messenger from Court of Appeal. Messenger. In the name of the Law, your prisoner ! Husband, Sold! [Joy of Wife, and tableau, as the Curtain falls. i, . | 1%, a | Vy, . 4 “wHat’s Iv 4 waAME?” Tar “Cony” is feeble, the Bear’s a rough bore, Smart New Boy ts Croagc-Room HAS NOTED GENTLEMEN SHUITING UP THEIR But ConysgaRe’s both, and perhaps a bit more! Cavs Hats, AND PROMPTLY FLATTENS Ds Jones's Best Stix Torrzr! Oh, was I this? And did I that? Not inconsiderable sum THE OTHER MAN. And twenty thousand things beside— Has gone to—Argentina. Mr health is good, I know no pain, As did I smoke ? and could I play Nay, chide me not ; one day, refilled I am not married to a wife ; At golf ? or did I get the gout ? By these, may shine your pocket, From all accounts I’m fairly sane, And-— most important—could I say And Fortune's resurrection gild And yet I’m siek to death of life. My mother knew that I was out ? The lock within the locket. The path that leads| Then two were chosen.’ Should I “do” ? Because, you see, when strong and sage to wealth and Perhaps !—and, just as I began You grow, and all the serried fame To hope, of course they gave it to Lights of the great Victorian age Cannot Sotnveeal The Other Man. With me are quenched and buried ; "ie tates All uselessly I’ve learnt to sw When other men in other days i Gol Beateoaeans And use cxpressiens that axe vile ; Walk nount—then shall you In vain, in vain I’ve torn my hair Submit the thing to such as praise In quite the most artistic style. The Past, its relics value. Yet one thing would I gladly learn— The _ was worn, you'll tell your friends, _ : Yes, tell ickly, if ae ENNYSON or BRowNING , \ Zz his ‘ Shall I be 4 oy pes (The detail of the name depends : The Other Man ? On who is worth renowning). It’s not the Bogey, but it és ' You Il vaunt that one who knew the grand 0 Man. ther ’ Victorian Stars, and rather I met a girl, she seemed to be THE KEY TO A LOOK. Deserved himself to join the band A kind of vision from above. (“A lock of ——’s hair, set in a small gold- (Im fact your father’s father), She wasn’t—but, alas! for me, rimmed case, and said to be an ancient family Who, past expression, loved whate’er I weakly went and fell in love. possession, was knocked down for forty pounds.’’) The market cottons then to, Her fath millionnai: Taxe yonder lock of tangled hair, Committed to your ehi care Which didn’t make sasleeahes less. A silver seamed wi » f This genuine memento. I thought her quite beyond compare, Dim harbinger from dreamland fair You ‘ll catalogue it, as befalls And gave long odds she ’d answer ‘* Yes.” Of reverie and fable ; Your choice my little gran’son . She thri i lovel Yes, grandson mine, the treasure take, You’ it to the halls She pte ey — ‘4 tinket ie if 7, ah Of Cuuistrz, Woops, axp Mawson. She took my heart, and then she took— And wear it, » for my sake, So, when the fateful hammer sounds, yhThs Other Man. In yonder locket Brittle; Aad yoo havo casted fo ins 8 as my banker’s balance, smal! A cheque for, y, forty pounds, “kod faint touching oko, Youll blaze yeas , I know; My luck, the lock, Who, while his fortunes failed, and much pounds a-year omy child, a trifle broken. : ; Committeemen in conclave sat, Investments, boy, are looking glum ; |_ Their questions all were cut and dried : They flit and ; in fines

Page 12

| | S &a 88 2 8045 BERS 2 BSSE SEsBRESHRS shh se Ate Sates 3 SESS 2528 FSmA SA EAS Be 3S | [Apa 25, 1891, PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL ALL-ROUND POLITICIANS——SIR WILLIAM VARIETY HARCOURT.

Page 13

Aram 25, 1891.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON _ ——_— BACCHUS OUTWITTED; OR, THE TRIUMPH OF SOBRIETY. (Fragment from a Romance fownded upon evidence given before the Select Committee upon Dram-drinking.) “T peatty think the experiment should be made,” “said the Professor. ‘‘Our knowledge on the subject is so imperfect, that | nothing definite can be accurately pronounced.” | “Troe enough,” replied one'of his friends; “ but al h the end to be attained is excellent, may not the means be termed by the scrupulous ‘questionable ?’” “ By the over-seru perhaps,” returned the Professor, with | a smile. ‘ie and the expense,” observed « second of his intimates, “ will be no small consideration. oe eS a ee lar; tity—a large quanti liquid wi tS & parebesed ond disposed not right in hazarding js | have to be pu this sup of, AmI in iteelf that is injurious but the by-products.’ eliminate the by-products.” | investigation in the ' | that after a week they should meet again, and that in the meanwhile on the experiment continuously. | When this had been arranged the parted company. | At the appointed time fthe ted | concrete fact. The Professor’s friends were the first to | rendezvous, Th | impediment to an eyesi | They sank into three aw be resolved itself into a Then filled up the pause Fan entden oes eked oe ein, oh te elr emo was not o as ex- riment was soon in their midst. He seemed to be in excellent ealth and spirits. | “My dear friend,” he said, and it was to clip his the latter glad see you all. His comrades noticeable that he was prone and to use the singular, in lieu of the pl have been more conventional, “‘My d Hope you well.” “This very painful, Prof somewhat heavily on the back of a chair; | Fact is, you been taking wrong ” His friends y shook their heads negativel “Yes you have! Sure of it! You, Sir—imbi whiskey! No harm im good —excellent thing, whiskey! But inju- +. i ey: Saveur of mais ow I took all rum, but pure—no by-products. No, not at all. Sober as judge!” i brand Result! See this point of his discourse, joined his friends"under the table ! LEAVES FROM A CANDIDATE’S DIARY. made up her mind to come with me, being anxious, she said, to hear one of my splendid She luggage enough to last for Oa al aan Ui: s HI Ly tf A ** George Hotel,” Billsbury.— Arrived here yesterda Mother - i i 4 te bas CYCLING NOTES. He, ‘‘Do you BELONG TO THE PsycuicaL Socrnty!” She. ‘‘ No; sur I somerimes Go ovt ow MY¥ Brornen’s Macnine!” Ta cee ’ -- And, succumbing to a sudden desire for slumber, the Professor, at all

Page 14

204 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. House of Commons, Monday Night, April 13.—S8o long since Lord Srateaiper parted company from Ricaagp Gaosvenor that he forgets manners and customs of House of Commons. _ es satisfied with choiee made by Committee of Selection of Members on Committee dealing with Railway Rates and es, SraLagiper writes peremptory letter to , giving him severe wigging ; correspondence gets into pe goo ol House of Commons, naturally enough, . to stand this sort of thing from a oon le he be Chair- man of North- Western Railway. Talk of making it case of privi- lege. Sort of thing expected to be taken oP from Front Bench, or by Wurrserap, or some other Member of standing. Some- how, whilst thing being thes Goa an and talked ft. +f. -y~ undertakes to see it soon as to- night, rises -. below sn al ana ~A~ os his comicall: eienates manner, announces intention of pu quate Joun Mownarary, Chairman of Committee Salection’ Ordimary man would have put his questions and sat down. But this a prast cccasion for Gaxtow. Domestic difficulties in Irish Party away from Westminster for many ‘weeks. opportunity ve Windbag to come into action; now is the m. as champion of privileges of House of Commons. Position one of some difficulty. ae } Seeacing to conclude with a Motion, he would be out of order in a speech. Could only ask question. Question couldn’t ibly = over two minutes; two minutes, nothing with the Windbag full, bursting oer compulsory q quiescence since —— - o_o SExTON manag mirably ; kept one eye on Spea from time to time moved uneasily in chair. Whenever he looked — going to interrupt, Sextow lapsed into nay tl which put him in order; then went on again, patronising Jonw Mowsnrar, een igh mr as champion of privileges of House, and so thoroughly ly enjoying —— se +- person coul Bull, “it was a little — Bie “This isn’t Saxvon’s funeral, is it ?’”’ Harcourt asked, in lo * No,” eaid Camppety- BANWERMAN ; “a's was meant be Like. but I aR Sexton will save him from full inconvenience of the cere- Windbag Szxrow blown himself out. Poor Jonw Mow- BRAY admittedly flabber- ghasted by the Seccmiaathe string of questions under which Sexton had tried to disguise his speech. Srar- BRIDGE got off without direct censure, and Dowatp Cam- ERON abruptly turned the con- versation in the direction of Opium. Business done.—In Com- mittee on Irish Land Bill. House of Lords, Tuesday. — Lords met to-night after — ys Recess ; come together a feeling that since last they meet a gap been made in their ranks that can never be filled. The gentle GaanviLur’s seat is occupied by another. “ Cameron Man. ay more will the Peers look pon his kindly face, or hear his lisping voice uttering bright thoughts it in a phrase. Kimpeeier sits where he was wont to lounge. K. a good saf man ; one of the rare kind whose reputation stands highest with the innermost circle of those who work and live with him. To the out- side world, the man in the street, KIMBERLEY is an expression ; some not quite sure whether he isn’t a territory in South Africa. Known in the Lords, of course ; listened to with respect, much as Hattam’s Constitutional History of England is occasionally read. But when to- night he rises from GeanvitLe’s seat and makes a speech that, with readjustment of circumstance, GRaNVILLE himself would have made, an assembly not emotional feels with keen pang how much it has lost: The Manxres should be here. P for himself it is as well he’s away. To him, more than anyone in the House, the filled space on the Bench opposite is of direfal import. The M ma a eee ——— A two were in all ines. and mental « a opposed, and like and vinegar the mizing perfected the ealad of of debat lumbering figure of the ~visaged Marquis at one side of the

iff res

table Guasrvnuies at the other, the Seapertially on the benches the Marxiss, as, leaning across the table, is fifth ri More certain | gladden the eye in the of Lords. GRANVILLE comple. ment of the Maaawe; the Marxiss oa = : to his bitter-sweetness. Never again will they meet to touch shield of old-fashioned pon lh 9 the b with glit rapier—this i with lance across the table is tas Last: his prime, it is true struck the nature of Lyrcrpas—a ness of could have fitly ane Se task belonged to Mazrxiss, ee “ But, O the heavy change, now thou art gone, iain tiadeon an ee ee It seemed in AR. RR ne that Crawsnoor, ELBORNE strummed from different points of view, without pre-concert, they

E & i & |

their lament. But, od kenad se paies atten aan fw Al Business | sete 2 Pg ae Bill in Com Wednesday.—Brer Fox turned up to- day, Heaty unexpectedly. So did Mavzicz » @vyen more unexpectedly. Irish Closing Bill under discussion. Sunday Great balk of Irish Members in favour of it. their business threatened, insist that he shall oppose —— rf aoe 80 accordingly, - seieMy wre from his party. Brer seized be fen, fe nike of the purse, tomers) is tight. a’ *y hold ‘the and, mone 43 some <= their cus- PaRwELt la com- tad pa ‘indbag Sexton on ny ‘large triotic view” ; hisses out his scorn Liberal Party ; declares that Ire- kg hy Sy Op a New Coercion Bill. Then, from bench below him, uprises a _ y ty figure, looking | _ like a man of war voice and Mr. A low, quiet sounds "alearly through the House Mavrice Heaty is discovere denying Brer Fox’s right to on this or any stituency of other public question for the con- Cork.

“‘ The mildest-mannered Man. ” “Tf he has any doubt on this subject,” the mild-looking young man continued, “‘let him keep the promise he made to me Shoat | contesting the seat.” That was all; only two sentences; but the thundering cheers that rang through House told how the home. iness done. —Irish Sunday Closing Bill read Second Time. LPH looked in for few ust

Friday. — Graxvo — before yo eeper. failed to recognise mistake as in a flash of **Same eyes, anyho his beard, to moustache. since he grew it. “ There was a Young Dropping into Poctry. again. had gone ny for GrawpoLrH turned, and glared on him, saw his getting buck io the tolety"of his chair wil , - nah ohio awhile in corner Fee Vag | ey on he said. ‘Glad I’m off to other climes ; t know whether I shall come back at all. if Mashonaland wants «King, an insists upon my accepting the Crown, not sure wwateieg hie a ee en cash tae Later. “Tt’s the beard. Never been same mal Who said, ‘ It is just as I feared! Two Owls and a en, four Larks and » Wren, Have all built their nests in my beard.’” Business done.—Committee on Irish Land Bill A little ey with under ’ ; thought he was Go Sales But when "Mr. JARRATT, Man with a beard,

— CH NOTICE.— Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will im no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or there will be no exception Wrapper. To this rale

CL HIG es aa tes An emine pending thas be used unk Detar MOREL E 210 & 18 & 14 Whisky Bo eee UAT THE BLST Recomn DN8s & G2 DIABI (mrtains no 8 Je DLABETB “Certainiy se CA GEO. Devonshi ASK FF C D VAT At 4! Wend of th: Medical Ana) a HA DON, 6.1 Viclecsle | REAL GI RO Q

Har Har le, Ong

2 Milli 18 Millio Aj “THE QU "Cos

Page 15

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL—Aranm 25, 1891. “CURIOUS OLD HCHLAND WHISKIES _ 7 10 16 & 26 years in weed. ~s ped des. = 60/- 72/- 120/- An eminent Medical Authority, in reeom- gy the ‘moderate use of Whisky, aatee that on no account should Whisky be used unless it is well matured. Detailed List on application to MOREL BROS., COBBETT & SON (LIMITED), 210 & 2ll, PICCADILLY; 18 & 19, PALL MALL; 143, REGENT ST. whisky Bonded Stores, Inverness, N.B. JAM-VAR WHISKY, THE FAMOUS OLD SCOTCH. TO BE HAD EVERYWHERE. ED IN THE PALACE AND THE SHIZLING. THE BLST FOR CAMP, MOOR, OR LOCH. Highest Awards. Recommended by the Medical Paculty. DYNES & GRIEVE, EDINBURGH asd LOWDON. THE G. B, DIABETES WHISKY snot stored in Sherry Caske. gout 2. 8 EIDBT COMPLAINTS, eems to deserve its name.”—Laxest. 48s. per Doz. CARRIAGE PAID, GEO. BACK & CO., Devonshire Square, London. ASK FOR AND DRINK ONLY GREERS'’ O. V. H. \0 VATTED HIGHLAND WHISKY. n Square Bottles.) At 45s. per Dozen Case. ‘end of the finest Highland makes, which a Heteal Analyst" describes as the perfection of Scotch Whisky. i st HARROD'S, BROMPTON ROAD, SDON, 5.W., and all the leading Stores in London Viclecale ie Oflice s, 69, MABE LANE, £.¢, kt AL GERMAN HOLLOW GROUND ROPP RAZOR. Never Requires Grinding. ick Handle, 5/6, pory Handle, 7/6. From all Dealers. , London, W ‘Sones, Canaerr, & Cx 2 Million Bottles filled in 1873. 18 Million » » yy ©1890. Abollinaris “THE QUEEN OF TABLE WATERS,” “Cosmopolitan.” Barish Mepttan Jovmmar. “JOHANNIS” KING OF TABLE WATERS. CHARGED ENTIRELY WITH NATURAL GAS. Prevents Gout, Rheumatism, and Indigestion. Mixes equally well with Wines, pirits, or Milk. i, but an ag bie bealth-promoting Deverage SUPPLIED AT ALL PInst- CLASS HOTELS AND RESTAURANTS Gample Cases of 59 pints, 18/6, including bottles. JOHANNIS SPRINGS, Ltd., ZOLLHAUS, GERMANY, Waotrsate Sroars— ROAD, CITY ROAD, LONDON. GOLD MEDAL, PARIS EXHIBITION, 1878. KINAHAN’S ~rms cnc runs, MILD, AND LL op psen, oanaee AND : WHISKY. MOST WHOLESOME. THE PRIZE MEDAL, DUBLIN EXHIBITION, 1865. GUILDFORD STREET, YORK ROAD, LAMBETH, 8.E. FRERES’ FIRST QUALITY CHAMPAGHE. Write to Darlington at once for the NEW SPRING PATTERNS, Sent POST FREE on Approval. PEASE’S World-renowned GROSS-WARP SERCES, Proven te Beatie Threads tee wore of toe Prd, e Elastic English Wools. Fl Wear Combined — —Always | P ashion. Length ( ut, no matter how short. —Any article nel as »proved of exchanged within Seven Days — li Goods are warranted to be cqual to sampie.— coe oge Paid on all Orders to any Hallway ~tation in Great wr — to Dublin, Belfast, Limerick, Cork, and Waterfo:d. HY. PEASE & C0.’S SUCCESSORS, The Mills, Darlington. Tondon sale Room ayn" REGENT sTREBRT. LOHSE’S MAIGLOCKCHEN = LILY OF THE VALLEY = = PERFUME i TOILET SOAP most fastrenabie in "bets by all high closs au. GUSTAV LOHSE, seruw. HAIR BSH AUREDLINE PERFECTLY } we Tatiana, fold by Perfumers Agents: R. HOVENDEN & SONS, Lownon FELD YOUR CHILDRE D&RIDCES. a) Wee) gal FO” LEA & PERRINS’ SAUCE. The Original and Genuine ‘* Worcestershire Sauce.” MEATS, some GRAVIES, SALADS, SOUPS, FISH, WELSH — Bignature is on « very ete t pttie of the Genuine ad Or ginal. MADE WITH BOILING WATER, EPPS s$ CRATEFUL—COMFORTING, COCOA MADE WITH BOILING MILK, SULPHOLINE oitiin LOTION THE CURE FOR PRUPTIONS, BLOTCHES, ECZEMA, ACNE DISFIGUREMENTS MAKES THE SKIN CLEAR, SMOOTH, SUPPLE, HEALTHY. ALUANSTANT FAT % pet The ' Acaric’ sits so softly onthe shoul- ders and is so clastic that whilst Jam giving to , Specie! at- mae tention is ma called also Sa to the little 7 every possi- rt Sie wai pane Se is virtually impercepti- ble to the wearer. v ¢. *Nrrrarep ppdo™ The Best Present A WOMAN can give A MAY. OF ALL HOBIERS EVERYWHERE. Wwotes ce or |5,) ounes. If any oy in obtaining, send Postal Order Se.) to P. Department, Central Depét, 4. PHILIP — LON DON, E.C., and & pair will be mailed free by return of post Continue to be supplied to Her Majesty the Queen. SEWARE OF IMITATIONS OF DOTH BED AND BROWN LABELS. PURELY VEGETABLE, Por | clip for sup- | & 17, Cucarewe, Lowpon, E.C., Host 5 | BEST BLACK INK KNOWN. DRAPER'S INK (DICHROIC). Of all Stationers. LONDON DEPOT; HAYDEN & CO,, 10, Warwick Square, E.O. Manufacturers, BEWLEY & DRAPER, Lid. , Dubdlia. LIEBIG COMPANY'S on ech Jar of the Genuine Extract. HOLLANDSCHE TANDMIDDELEN. FOR CLEANSING THE TEETH AND PERFUMING THE BREATH Tooth Hlixir, as. 64. per bottle. Tooth Powder, 64 and le. perbos. Tooth Paste, Gove & vour, Be 64; Yeppermint flavour, 3. per pot. Prepared by A. FRIEDERICH, Purveyor to MH. M. the King of Holland. fole Agents: KR, HOVENDEN & BONS, London. USED IN THE ROYAL NURSERIES, ~ BEST FOOD INFANTS. In Tins, 1s., 2s., 6s. and 10s. each. SAVORY & MOORE, conven, AND SOLD EVERYWHERE. WRIGHT'S COAL “TAR: “SOAP

Page 16

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—~Aram 25, 1891. Poh l4 a CAUTION > TOILET »@ mA, uaee & VINOLIASOA td 1S NOT TOBE S Ree7e015 = CONFOUNDED “An ideal soap, delightfully perfumed, and the skin has a velvety feeling after washing with it.” Queen. “ Excellent from its purity, lathers freely, and is very lasting.” “Vinolia Soap is of unquestionable excellence, much in favour with the Profession,” Lancet, “ Odour delicate, and the article of excellent ¢ LONDEAU ey Cle Ryland Road . ; | ~~~ JONDON x § Oy /; 7g Uy ——— SS The Chemist and Druggist says :—" The ‘ Vinolia Shaving Foam’ is a superfaitcd substance of soft consistence, which lathers freely when applied to the beard, and by its emollient properties acts as a healing protective,” In collapsible tubes, 1s. 6d. Vinolia Shaving Soap It lathers well, and altogether is most agreeable. For those who are interested in the subject of soap, we add, try ‘ Vinolia Soap.’ : Illustrated Medical New 1s., ls. 64., and 2s. 6d. per stick; Flat Cakes, in porcelain-lined metal boxes, 2s. Vinolia and Vinolia Powder, each 1s. Od. per box. Vinolia Dentifrice, 2s. 6d. and 1s. 6d. 2 Ca, us Pratt Steart of Ne B® Loraine Read, Holloway Parish of 8t , Intington, Coenty Printing Offices of Mesars. Bradbury, Aguew eee ee Eee eee ee er eas Ne a La a a