Punch 1891-02-07: Vol 100 Iss 2587

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6 gap Part ONE, cx an elegant SOCI ETY BY cloth cover with gilt edges, for the GEORGE drawing-room table, will be published D C a! U FR E S DU on February 10th. Price 6s. 6a. From “ PUNCH.” MAURIER | 0 | } a | | ) P ° if 4 =z ° x D _| ew m 3 _ m a: : | E : ms m mi: me VOLUME ONE HUNDRED. j | = Oy ia a ee : a Ma ~FEBRUARY 7, ——— vi = ~~ ; ee i LOL ne = pe SBTC. ES yh 1 nti, ! s e TOF ay" ' Tht ‘NY me, | ow 3 Vu sh — ey ce et ea Se Steer se ia’ } CHOCOLAT h MENIER BREAKFAST. Registered at the General Post Olive as 8

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PUNOH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. —Fesevarr 7, | 1891. ‘THIRD EDITION. SAINT MONICA | OXFORD.-MITRE HOTEL NOW READY. Crown tro. a0. 64. 5 = 3 poe ay — Prom the Peacew BOuser Zerrone, Dec. 6th, 1600. CLA 8 hc ene. Translation: “Mra. Rennett-hdwards bes by her portreys! of character and plot set forth in the most convincing manner how «a trely talented writer cen eur mouent the grestest difficaities and how much A /

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Fesruary 7, 1891.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL 61 THE “MODEL HUSBAND” CONTEST. Scene THE First—At the GaLanap-GREENS’, . G.-G, Gatamapd! . G.-G. (meekly). My love ? of All Sorts are going to Mrs. G.~G. 1 see that the peopetaiers follow the American example, and offer a prize of £20 to the wife who makes out the best case for her husband as a Model. It’s just as well, yo yy you should know that | ve up my mind to enter you ! Mr. G.-G. (gratified). My dear Cornet! really, I’d no idea you had such a—— Mrs. G.-G. Nonsense! The draw- ing-room carpet is a perfect disgrace, and, as you can’t, or won't, provide the money in any other way, why—— * Would you like to hear what I’ve v said about you? Mr. G.-G. Well, if you're sure it wouldn’t be troubling you too much, I should, my dear. ‘ Mrs. G.-G. Then sit where I can see you, and listen. (She reads.) “ Irreproachable in all that pertains to morality ”—(and it a bad day indeed for you, Gatawap, if I ever had cause to think otherwise !)—‘ morality; scrupulously dainty and neat im his person”’—(ah, you may well blush, Garanap, but, fortunately, they won't want me to produce you!)—‘‘ he imports into our happy home the delicate refinement of a preux chevalier of the olden time.” (Will you kindly take your dirty boots off the steel fender!) ‘‘ We rule our little kingdom with a joint and equal sway, to which jealousy and friction are alike unknown ; he, considerate and indulgent to my womanly weak ”—(You need not stare at me in that perfectly idiotic fashion ! )—** I, looking to him for the wise and tender support which has never yet been denied. The close and daily scrutiny of many years has discovered ”—(What are you shaking like that for ? ) —‘' discovered no single weakness; no taint or flaw of character ; no irritating trick of speech or habit.” (How often have « told you that I will not have handle of that paper-knife sucked? Put it down; do!) “His conversation—sparkling but ever spiritual— renders our modest meals veritable feasts of fancy and flows of soul ...» Well, Gatanap? Mr. G.-G. Nothing, my‘dear ; nothing. It struck me ‘as well,—a | trifle flowery, that last , that’s all! | Mrs. G.-6. (severely). If I cannot expect to win the prize without descending to floweriness, whose fault is that, I should like to know ? If you can’t make sensible observations, you had better not speak at all. (Continuing.) ‘‘ Over and over in, gathering me in his strong loving arms, an ing fervent ki forehead, he has cried, ae am I not a Monarch place a diadem upon that brow? With such a Consort, am I not doubly crowned ?’”” Have you anything to say to that, Gatanap? Mr. G.-G. Only, my love, that I—I don’t seem to remember having made that particular remark. . Mrs. G.-G. Then make it now. I’m sure I wish to be as accurate as I can, (Mr. G.-G. makes the remark—but without fervour. Scenz THE Seconp—At the Mowancu-Jones’. Mr. M.-J. Twenty quid would come in precious handy just now, after all I’ve dro lately, and I mean to pouch that prize if I can—so just you sit down, Guizzix, and write out what I tell you; do you hear ? rs. M.-J. (timidly). But, Mowanca, dear, would that be quite angry, I didn’t mean that—1’ll write whatever fair? No, don’t be you please ! Mr. M.-J. You'd better, that’s all! Are you ready? I must screw myself up another peg before I begin. (He screws.) Now, then. (Stands over her and dictates.) ‘‘To the — urbanity of a perfect gentleman, he unites the kindly charity of a true Christian.” (Why the devil don’t you learn to write decently, eh ?) Liberal, and even lavish, in all his dealings, he is yet a stern foe to every kind of excess’’—(Hold on a bit, I must have another nip after that)—“ ev kind of excess. Our married life is one long dream of blissful contentment, in which each contends with the otherin loving self-sacrifice.” (Haven’t youcorked all thatdown yet’) Such cares and anxieties as he he conceals from me with scrupulous consideration as long as possible’’— (Gad, I should bea fool if I didn’t ‘)—** while I am ever sure of finding in him a patient and eympsthetis listener to all my trifling worries and difficulties.” ~,[Two fs in difficulties, you little fool—can’t you even spell ?) Many a time, falling on his knees at my feet, he has y exclaimed, his accents broken by manly emotion, ‘Oh, that I were more worthy of such a pearl women! With such a helpmate, I am indeed to be envied!’” ought to do the trick. If I would be | j don’t romp in after that ! —— (Observing that Mrs. M.-J.’s shoulders are ) What the dooce are you giggling at now ? Mrs. M.-J. I—I wasn't giggling, ONARCH dear, only——— Mr. M.-J. Only what ? rs. M.-J, Only crying ! — Tue Seqvet. “ The Judges appointed by the spirited proprietors of All Sorts to decide the ‘ Model Husband test ’—which was established on lines similar to one recently snsugusates by one of our New York contem- raries—have now issued a Two competitors have sent in certificates which have been found equally ing of the prize ; viz., Mrs. Conwetra Gatanap-Green, Graemair Vi Peckham. and Mrs. Guisetpa Monanca-Jonss, Aspen Lane. The sum of Twenty Pounds will consequently be divided Sebueen these two ladies, to whom, with their respective we beg to tations. Daily Paper, some tender our cordial felici "—( Extract from siz months hence.) CRUMMLES REDIVIVUS! F ths been the tip-toe tati with gh 'to the pans An by Mr. ay aa ot which is to inaugurate the —n Theatre, built at a sum and total of expense by Mr. Dizey Purr, a cendant of the great Purr femily, by in with more recent CruMMLEs's, expressly for the perform- genuine uous ance of lish Drama. A veil of secrecy has, however, been drawn ts connected with another tatives taking his we both hands, brought it and hi safely to the stage-door of the new theatre, and knocked. After some aan he sg Lenny vas = ae who, however, a seem Pedisposed to be dra thourh he admitted he had. been 0 e engag for the responsible 4 of call-boy at an inadequate . Our Representative managed to interest the iad in the inspection of a numiematic representation of Her Most Gracious Majesty, which he happened to have brought with him on the back 0 -a-crown, and with which Our Renee toyed, holding it between the thumb and dexter finger of the right hand. @ give the result in Our tative’s own words :— i , on whom the sight of the coin talism: g me to a remote i with Non patterns ;, ° ow tell me,” I , about this new piece.” “It’s what they call a Tragedy,” said the boy. “ah!” I ry ** that is interesting; but | want to know about ~ The becth ? ‘oe ool Wasls the temedew lad “The er my!” sai e . ucving an apple from his trousers’ pocket, but his right eye “tit feed on the isman, ‘*’e don’t count. Why we none of us pays no attention to ‘im. Crikey, you should ’a seen ’im come a cropper on his nut down them new steps. But, look ’ere, Sir,” he continued, more solemnly “*T’m a tellin’ yer secrets, I am; and if Druer were to ’ear of it, I d get a proper jacketin’. Swear you won't peach.” I gave the requisite pledge. “And that ere arf-crown’” he said. I nodded assent to what was evidently in his mind. Then he resumed. ‘‘It’s a beautiful piece. e play, I mean,” he explained ; being fearful lest I should consider him as over-eager for the coveted and covenanted reward. ‘I’m sure o’ that. The horther says so, and Drrxy says so, and Miss O’Grapy says #0; she’s got the eroine to play,—and oh, don’t she die in the lawst Act just proper, with pink light and a couple o’ angels to carry ’er up! Then there’s Mr. Keane ’Arnis, ’e touches ’em all up with ‘is sword, ‘places his back to the wall, and defies the mob,’ is what the book says. So you may take it from me, it’s fust-rate.” I thanked my intelligent little friend for his information, and was ing to put a further question about the music for this new which, as everyone will soon know, is to be a real chef @’ eure of Sir Havrnor Suxyivon, when a step was heard approach- ing across the stage—the deepest, by the way, in London—to where we were talking. 7 ing lh Ba the agen biaaaieas a Leah rye - master i generous, ’e’a and it wou more than my place is worth to let ’im catch me these ’ere te Se OT ene lore 1 was out my 0 con’ . was gone. And in om was IL, VOL. ¢,

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62 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL. |Fesrvary 7, 1891.

BRUIN JUNIOR. “May this be my poison, if my Bear ever dances but to the very genteelest yay le Water-parted,’ * The Minuet in Ariadne She Stoops to Conquer.

Viceroy (to Miss India, loquitur), ‘Don’t BE ALARMED, MY DEAR! Tals BEAR NEVER DANCES BUT TO THE VERY GENTEELEST OF TUNES!” Lord Lanspowne, loquitur :-— | Ue 8 coat te come, and ——— 3 , my ling! He doesn’t come! *° Visi! you, as #, oe : “suasling, “1 = ial the So a a brightly, and treat him 0 Oe "eae =e eas fel rip with him lightly, you’ll find it With you (and with pleasure) he'll tread a gay measure, A captive of courtesy, under my care ; His chain is all golden. Your heart ’twill embolden, ee And calm that dusk bosom which timidly shrinks. Sincere hospitality is, in reality, ' Safest of shackles ; ;—just look at the links ! Alarmists saw ruin in prospects of Brule, treading Arra Trorz (Herve tells us) ‘‘ danced nobly.” Pride swells us To . our young guest is a true Arta No B no though shaggy, a trifle breech- ae not raltogether a dandyish doll ; o Afghan . dear, or shy. Native The Northern Bear, India’s league | pao: Bruin’s foot o’er our frontier How tonics may blind us! On our side the He comes Eseaty, boldly—don’t look on him They fancy friend Ursa spies nothing bat | Or make fim suspect there is fear in your spol ’

Be sure that the Lion will still keep his All Bears and their dens, in the Tiger Meanwhile Cau Mino nchows base desig, o n against love, and laugh! -_ I'll answer for Bruin, he shall not take you in— The Bear’s bona fides nobody impugns ; He asks a rh a ond your hand in a dance ; an »s S dance “*to the very genteelest of THE UP-TO-DATE CONVERSATIONIST. He (at the end of a turn). I see there's been a pow in Chili—what do you think about it ? She. I don’t know the place—isn’t it some- where i . America ? . He. ae t A <a aS it yee, ut my geogra y’s shaky rather y it’s somehow connected with pickles. She. Oh, fe it’s a — their quar- relling, as AL... it will be hard upon Oop pore, expe during the winter ? Fancy that’s ’s the idea. Been to the Guelph Exhibition p She. Yes, and I think it’s a pity the took the jewels’out of Georce THE Fourtn’s Crown. I should like to have seen the Koh-i-Noor. He. But they wanted them for the one at the Tower, don’t you know, and as for the 4 Noor, was that invented in his time ? . Perhaps it wasn’t. Stay, wasn’t it snemael by Captain Coox, or Daraxkg, or I have never looked the opos, One-pound Bank-notes She. Are they ? I suppose they will be useful for chan He. Shouldn’t be eae see but don't pre- ) =p to know anything about it. By the way, do you take much interest in the subjects we have been discussing ? She. Not the faintest. He. No more do |! { Waltz continued,

DEARNESS AND DEARTH. “Spanish onions are rising in price, though probably only ee '"—Daily News. WI1 it be lon Sa ile ? For the peop watch and wait, Till the strength of the onion makes them strong, At only @ normal rate. And their eyes are dim with tears, And ache with the need of sleep, And watch till the lapse of the lapsing years Shall make the onions cheap. Cheap, my love, cheap! Sleep, my love, eep | Onions are dear, love, but sentiment ’s cheap! IL. en! Is it a voice — wR fe ap ag a fragrance to e my heart rejoice From the sunlit land of Spain ? Listen, m om. my bride, While glad tears dew your cheek, They — fried, my bride, by the sad sea ti With a smell that can aad speak, Creep, my love, creep into P, And sing to the fishes that clans are cheap.

Tae Proposep On®- POUND Nores.—‘‘ Ne- Goschenable currency.’

| G00 At

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Fesrvary 7, 1891.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. Goon patriots all of every sort, Give ear unto my song, AN ELEGY ON A MAD DOG. (After Goldsmith, more or less.) For if in substance it is short, In moral it is strong. | At Hawarden lived a Grand Old | an, | Of whom the world might say, A wondrous lengthy race he ran, And won it all the way. Some swore he’d veer to catch a vote ; Old age to flout one loathes, But, if he never turned his coat, He often changed his clothes. Hard by an Irish dog was found, | As many dogs there be, bernian m | And curs of pesee hound | This dog and man at first seemed friends, But, when a pique began, To see so strange and sad a sight and gobemouches The dog, to gain his private ends, Went mad, and bit the man! —_— 24 And swore the dog was rabid quite To bite that Grand Old Man G7 * The wound indeed seemed sore d sad an To every party eye, And while they swore the dog was They swore the man must die, soa sometimes come to Rash prophets to belie. The . seems healing of the ite, The dog looks like to die! vocations,” , it? versa? Or, “Who's for pn Oe tate Remarkable Conversion. ‘Canon TzIgNmoutH SHoRE proposes to convert the two Con- 0ca - + that is startling without the context—“* into National Synod.” But two into one won’t go. How will Will those in the York shi will he join the Canterbury, tA Par aznovur Picrones.— Over the Garden Wi Mr. G. 8. Excoop ry the Fine Art Soci ay by ; the result is an enj le yay yy ”* seems to be the « Gallery. been over a good many Montacute, ies to some reued his collection of pictares, which he

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Feorvary 7, 1891,

Cuaprer II, , BRUSTLES BISHOP. ** Evew as a Curate, a certain harmless vanity was ever my besetting (By @ Muddled Moralist. ) weakness. I might, indeed, have that, after my accident— Cuarren I. | but see, my good how pride may lurk, even in our very infirmi- . | ties! These artificial limbs have become a yet subtler snare to me Bew Brosties was only a poor shoeblack-boy who cleaned boots— | those they replaced. I had them cunstructed, as you see, of ay, and even shoes, for his daily bread. Sach time as he could \the best mahogany—to match the furniture in m : seem. spare from his avocation he devoted to diligent study of the doctrine Wj ——~- we oe temp foried in thefy praia of chance, as exemplified in the practice of pitch-and-toss. Often | and gloss, in the Sider fe curves, in A more than Chinese and often, after pitching and tose- delicacy of their extremities, until gradually they have trampled ing in the cold wet streets for long upon my better self, they have run away with all my possibilities of weary hours, he would return moral usefulness! Yes, but this very moment, as I stood admiring home without abalfpenny. Think their contour at yonder window, the pernicious thought crossed m of this, ye more fortunate youths, > mind that their appearance would be yet more enhanced if I had who sit at home at ease, and play - them gilded /” Loto for nuts! But through all : “* But, your reverent Lordship,” objected Br as the Bishop his vicissitudes, Baw kept « stout paused, overcome by humiliation, “it’s no use to me for h never losing his convic- V that ’ere job!” For, though but a poor boy, he was too honest to tion that something—he knew not accept any commission under false pretences. Gi what—would eventually turn up. 5 might—end, in a London atmosphere, soon woul Sometimes it was heads, at others but no boot-polish would ever aseume the ap; tails; and in either case the poor . blackest gilt, and so he candidly explained to the Bishop. boy lost money by it — but he “I know, my boy,” said the latter, patting Bun’s head kindly with the handle of fis umbrella, “I know. Hence my application to your skill, That preonmatnces idea revealed as in a lightning flash the abyss on the brink of which I stood. This demon of perverse pride must be laid ; humbled fer ever. So ply your brushes, and see you spare not the blacking ta Carrer III. Bavustixs obeyed—not without awe, and in a short space of time two pots of blacking were exhausted, and the roseate glow of the — able aay | bs was for ever hidden under a layer of more an Nu **"Selp me, qeur lordly reverence,” he cried, dazzled by the bediinnse of = result; ‘“‘ but you might be took, below, for a se Hash,” said the Bishop, though with a ot ‘would you recall the demon ! ab rms bat less of fe Sale em, hoped—but after may not the wish to please eye 0 man be excusable? You shall receive a rich reward. Do you Saoney to have such a thing as change for a five-pound note about Brustles Blacking. you . . . ; F . ** Alas!” replied the lad, with ready presence of mind. “but I pesovened notwithstanding, confident that Fortune would favour | have only tote id all my gold into me bank for the day!” im at last. It is this spirit of undaunted enterprise that has made| «Ny matter,” said the Bishop, gently. ‘‘I find I have a three- our England what itis! ; penny bit, after all. lt is yours!” And the good ecclesiastic, as And one day Fortune did favour him. He observed, as he knelt | j¢ ¢o | oat thanks, moved nimbly off, though his eyes still sought betore his box, a portly and venerable person close by, who was the shop-windows as he passed, with even greater complacency than engrossed in studying, with ey complacency, his own reflection | hefore, < in plate-glass shop-front. So naive a display of personal vanity,| Bey tested the threepenny bit between his teeth—it was a spurious in one whose dress and demeanour denoted him a Bishop, not) coin; he looked up, but hi unnaturally excited Bessamty’s interest, nor was this lessened when late customer was already the stranger, after shaking his head reproachfully at his reflected (eX passed out of hearing of his imege. ' —— to the shoe-black’s box as if in obedience to a 4 sentiments. He sank down sudden impulse, ** My lad,” he said, with a certain calm dignity, “‘ will you be so good as to black both my legs for me—at once ?” This unusual request, conceived as it was on a larger scale than the orders he habitually received, startled the youth, particularly as he noted that the symmetrical and well-turned limb which the Bishop extended consisted, like its fellow, of a rare and costly species of mahogany, and shone with the rich and glossy hue of a newly-fallen horse-chestnut. ‘‘I see,” commented the Bishop, with a melancholy smile, ‘‘ that you have already discovered that my lower members are the product—not of Nature, but of Art. It was not always thus with me—but in my younger days I was an ardent | climber—indeed, I am still an Honorary Member of the Hampstead | : Bish Heath Alpine Club. Many years since, whilst scaling Primrose | Bilked by a Bishop. Hill, I was compelled, by a sudden storm, to take refuge in a half-| with his head laid amongst his pots and brushes. “ Bilked!” he way hut, where I the night, ex to all the rigours of an | moaned piteously, “ bilked—and by a blooming Bishop! ”’ English Midsummer! When I awoke I found, to my surprise. that | Cc IV both my legs had been bitten by the relentless frost short off i aarens SV ’ mediately below the knee, and 4 i Bur mark the sequel. The good Bishop had been quite ignorant day in a basket. On descending, I i tint the theegrmay. bit, wes 8 pewter ene; quite gineen, es ie fashioned, and on them I stumped my way to the exalted position I in his ination to subdue his own Still it now fill, nor have I ever evinced any physical inconveniences from my misfortune, save in one particular—that it has rendered the assumption of gaiters unhappily out of the question! But, possibly, my wish to have these legs of mine disguised your pie renewed, ments, strikes you as bizarre, if not positively eccentric? You bend over burni better understand my reasons after you have heard a gazing, like another Narcissus, at the features he saw so faithfully which, though necessary, is, believe me, painful to make. ted. good old man, after a short internal struggle, began the «Meanwhile the (hreepence, base. as it was, booame the humble narrative, which we reserve for a succeeding chapter. i ent of brighter fortunes to Brusries ; it showed a marvellous

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Fesrvary 7, 1891.) H ONDON CHARIVARI. 65 ric ‘aptitude for turning up tai the Bishop—what of The discontent long went out on strike, ar RERTOWS, who was d horrified Chaplain. aoa + | eS iscovered prostra He had been picketed Copies of the abowe may be obtained for distribution, at very reasonable terms, on application to the A —_ s Sea & PLAYTIME FOR A DOLL’S HOUSE. Dear Mr. Puwen,—According to a well-known Critic, writing of a ‘ormance of The Doll’s House on Tuesday, the 27th ult., at Terry’s Theatre, “* There is no need to discuss Insxy’s piece any more.” I will go a little further, and say, oe only pla = OO ee ee Fancy Picture of Hanwellian Admirer of the Ibsenseless Drama thoroughly enjoying himeelf. because it modified Insxn, and did not reveal him in his true I can readily believe, as my recollection of Breaking a | Butterfly merely suggests | Doll's House of Ta ; whereas, when I y mingle with boredom a recol- oth ; é that caused a feeling of absolute loathing. That something, I imagine, must be the new matter which was absent from the first version, and ¢ according to the Play-bill, a of Insen’s Prose Dramas, in the text of the y in Vol. I. of the au ited by Witt1aM Ancuer, and published by Mr. Warrer Scorr.” By the way, I must confess that, although the name of the Editor is not familiar to his superintendence of the authorised text seems to have been per- formed sufficiently ereditably to have rendered him as worthy of an honourable prefix as the publisher. Why omit the “Mr.” ? Now I ) this Englishman, not unconnected with | show | dramatic literature, who is known nowadays as WiL11AM, without B the prefix of Mister, but in his own time WiI.LLiAM SHaksPeaRg, and Master he remains. ‘‘ But this,” as Mr. RopyarD Kipiine might observe, ** is quite another W I have not the original for reference handy, but the version pla at Terry's Theatre bears internal evidence lose translation. with a free hand would scarcely have made ene of the on two occasions. Nils Krogstad than, ‘‘ If I am flung into ted twice with the slight Torvald Hi te | come to think of it, e was known as Master the gutter, you shall accompany me,” variation, ‘‘ If I am flung into the gutter ® long mosolowue in the final Act that a long mono have “‘ broken up” with Axcuer (without the ‘‘ Mr.” translation of the original, yeeege occasional] — wives known to creation, which conveys the the traditional ways confessed I have not y the version is impression that he Norway “ fine and ” as Insen tsay. Surely Torvald pore Sas canes his semi- 5 va, tation ber taste. Returning to what I venture to imagine must be ‘‘ new matter” not the ~ Ege yey: 4. in which f I see three ladies ina seem coe with @ green volume “What is it?” No, they won’t hear, Each one is intent on her volume, and on iextiahle answer, in a don’t manner, absorbed. Later on, at intervals, I get the vol: and, raven-like, can cboweption of my young fri Brappow! Very few have ed you in up ism as fresh as ever it was when first I sat up at night nervously to read Aurora Floyd, and Lady Audley’s Secret. In this bad time of year (I am writing when the snow is without, and the North-East wind ise age ed in cu leaves), the Baron recommends remaining indoors wi this Three-volume Novel as a between lunch and dinner companion, only don’t take it up to your bed-room, and sit over the fire with it, or— but there, I won’t mention the consequenees. Keep it till daylight doth appear. The Baron being a busy man—no, Sir, not a busy-body,—is grateful to the authors of coal chem stories in Magazines. Many ers agree with the Baron, who wishes to recommend “ Saint or Satan” in The Argosy ; The story of an “ Old Beau,” which might have been advantageously abbreviated in Soribner; an odd tale qndees, ‘*The Phantom Portrait,” in the Cornhill, which leaves the er in doubt as to whether he has been egregiously ‘* sold” or not; and, above all, the short and interesting—too short and most interesting—paper on Tuackerar, in Harper's Monthly, with fac-similes of some of the great humorist’s most eccentric and most — illustrations, conceived in the broadly burlesquing spirit that was characteristic of Gitzay and RowLanpsow, THACKERAY, philosopher and satirist, who can take us behind the scenes of ever Fenty Fev, whe on Sais ao owns Ste sored eathen Becky \ - as Bim eget Aled gentleman, dignissimus, Colonel Newcome, could on occasion, and when a rollicking t moved him, put on a omg mask (have we not his own etic vignette representing lesque i and drawing to set us all on the broad n. The Baron trusts that Mrs. Krrcare will give us more of this, Gneney hopes that there may be a “ lot more” caricatures in that portf “‘where these came from.” I heartily thank you for so much, and respectfull ask f , ’ y “ ey A DE Boox-Wonns. In Memoriam. Srrowe man and strenuous fighter, stricken down Just when foes owned thee knave nor clown! The fiercest of them, time-taught, need not fear To drop a blossom now on Soclven’s bier. Anruvr snp Composer.—Saturday, Jan 31.—First t vz oees Se Oras Cane now Wy — ight. Sir ARTHUR’s success. e congratulate him Arthurly. Carre called before horse,—should say before Curtain, but t’other came so naturally,—looked pele,—auite carte Manohe : bat, itt SULLIVAN’s music, com: get a Carrs, but no cab. Gal- lant gentlemen and ladies braving rain and slosh, More in our next, but for the present . . . (Parozyem of meexing).

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. —— [Feprvary 7, 1891, eee ANNALS OF A QUIET NEIGHBOURHOOD. AN ICE PICTURE. Fair Damsel, ‘‘ Wuat a Lot or Houtmays rou szzm To cet, Mr, Miniver |” Pe Curate, “WELL, YES, I xzer a Recrok, you xynow.” WHAT DO YOU THINK? (A Song of the Session, as sung by that Eminent and Bvergreen Lion Comique, “‘ JouuY Gap " at the St. Stephen's Hall of Varieties, Westminster. ) Jotty GLAD, sings :— Wrrs a flower in my coat, With a keen eye for a vote, And a sense the things to note, Buff ani Blue think, With fond millions to admire, A last triumph to desire, — Am I going to Retire ?— What do you think ? Oh, I know the quidnunes v r, And that Tadpole, d Taper, Tell in many a twaddling aemeah ‘ere, 3 ut they cater for the Whilst J ’m champion of the masses, Fly before such braying asses ?— What do you think ? Wish is father to their thought, Their wild hope with fear is fraught. They are not au fait to aught Liberals true think. They imagine *‘ Mr. Fox” omy delivered such hard knocks That apang my pathway blocks '— What do = think P Just aepeet eas » if ~{ > Is yl, {~~ ed by ae going ma the Like a “‘screw” Think! Pooh! The of Sisyphus Suits me we Why make a fuss? r Retire,—and ve things thus ? ‘What do you think ? Ona the—say the Lyric Stage— For some years I’ve been the rage, And some histrios touched by age Of Adieu think. Bat I 'm ike that * Awful Dad,” Though this makes my rivals mad, Don’t true Oa hat feel glad? t do you think ? I’m a genuine Evergreen ; It is that excites their spleen My fast exit would much ease them. But Retire !—and just to nome a ! hat do you think [ Winks and 4 round, A DREAMY MADNESS. Tap other night I went fo bel and Cay are ene, bet still I did it,— to rest my weary head So that the bed-clothes nearly hid it ; Which was perhaps the reason why My brain Seogonent Oe = Wi truly wondrous sigh Was wholly given o’er to ° to. dd the oom ~first of May, to overflowing, Boy ag hey ey a Were lean although i kept on snowing. ol hy Ade 5 9 Al laough bo knew ie ens 0 Sunday; The lion lay down with the lamb, And Ciemenrt Scort with Sypwry Grunpy. Pee Hox ter said, ** In truth Ce eee eek ot toon” end Wrote there and then to General Boora To put his name down for a thousand. I heard that Mr, Pannett wrote (Much to McCartuy’s jubilation) A very kind and civil note, In which he sent his tion ; Whilst Anprew Lane with weary air Professed himself completely staggered To think how anyone could care To read a line of River Hacearp. The House of Commons talked about The case of Mr. BrapLaven—whether The Motion which has kept him out now be struck out altogether ; And Op Moratiry arose To say they felt no ancient animus, And when they voted, why of Noes e wasn t one —they were unanimous ! The dream somehow had seemed to spoil it, Ber Gia $6 tae sao tng to lap Cub-cf may Ret one ae ay Oot. I went down-stairs, and with I thought of those my dream tended, And there, before my

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~~ CLIOLLYSLALDOL TSO 0, Ol LEED Mf: ae es ae * - - 4 tae. —* - as eae ‘re LLL LOL — SASAEL A 4 Z PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL—Fesrvary 7, 1891. od Adee OZ ZAR 2 2-2 eS eee AAs pee PO “ RETIRE!—WHAT DO YOU THINK?” ee war cage ee ee re ot Z — LO ‘&TaR aD Cae - a - oS ee ow ae ee / OLE eg ALMOST ah fT AOE AT AAA A” EM eet cy Midi a Ys 5 a ———— = ie es eae 2 eee A 0 Ep SS =

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Fesrvary 7, 1891.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. THE STOPPING OR REMOVAL OF A “GRINDER.” A Sercn in THE STREETS. OUR ADVERTISERS. [_TSOsODERDRIZOR, the new indestructible cloth. _HONODENDRIKON is a stubborn and inflexible material. ITHONODENDRIKON is made, a new process, from L block and paving-stones. & ITHONODENDRIKON, used for gentlemen’s coats, will _not only keep out rain and wind, but thunder and lightning. ITHONODENDRIKON never breaks or bends, but onl Lj bursts. ’ ITHONODENDRIKON. — A “Puncuasen” writes— “I sat down in a pair of your trousers, but could never get up again.” ITHONODENDRIKON, — Another ‘‘ Customer” says— ** The dress-coat you supplied me with fitted me well could not take it off without having recourse to a sledge-hammer.” PPER HOUSE COAL COMPANY s the cheapest UM ad worst in the market ey S* PPER HOUSE COAL COMPANY, hand-picked by the ) Duke himself, on whose property the mines are situated. PPER HOUSE COAL COMPANY, carefully selected, screened and j anywhere within a ten-mile radius of Charing Cross at 9, 6d. delivered (in the dark a ton, for cash on delivery. ie Cs Us HOUSE COAL COMPANY supply a wonderful A WI Sa DN dS o flame, no uently ex sca e conten of the grate over the loons bmg 4 ; PPER HOUSE COAL COMPANY beg to refer intending to testimonial : ‘* Gentle- on in sufficient quantity they will extinguish an ee ee Powe Se « - em into a no . Steeped in petroleum, they might possitiy ignite in « dealhe-dranght furneee, though I fancy would pet tb ont. They are as you ad them a ‘show for summer use.’ Don’t send me any more.” CHARLIE AND SARAH. Dean Mr. Puncu,—Why should AntstoTie be the only author whose | works get discovered? I found the following story, written on papyrus, and enclosed in a copper cylinder, in my back garden, and I am positive that it is nut ARISTOTLE, Can it possibly have been written by that amiable and in- structive authoress whose stories for children have recently been reprinted ? Yours, &c., gNRY Sr. OTLE. obedient little boy, and his sister Sanam was a | good, patient little One beautiful summer’s day they went to stay tor a week with their Uncle WILLIAM, a man of very high principles, who was not quite used tothe proper method withchildren. Onthe even- ing of their arrival, as they were seated in front of the fire, CaaRLie litted up his bright, obedient, beautiful face, and said, thoughtfully : | ‘Pray, Uncle WILLIAM, cannot we have one of those instructive and amusing conversations such as children love, about refraction, | and relativity, and initial velocity, and Mesopotamia generally ?” | “Oh, yes, Uncle Wittiam!” said SaRan, pausing to wipe her patient little nose; ‘‘ Our dear Papajis always so pleasant and poly- syllabic on these subjects.” ; Then Uncle WriL14M regretted that he had paid less attention in his eer ~~ gelencope but he himself togetherand etermined to do his best. ‘‘ Certainly, my dear children, n could please me more. Now here I havea jug andaglass. You will observ CHARLIE was a ¥ si. J we bd that I pour some water the jug into the glass. This illustrates one of the properties of water. you tell me what I mean?” * Fluidity!” said both the —- enthusiasm. ‘* Yes, quite so, and—er—er—has a brick fluidity ?” a by » Ro, Unele Wax! * nw a —er—w y hasn’t it?” asked ILLIAM, with some- thing almost like in voice. “That, Uncle,” said the nim you to-night” i to make you under- 1 In this a Ly like to t a little further. q some of it into the in first, and the Think it out for Sanan timidly : “‘ I think it must be because, when a man wishes to drink, whiskey is the first thing which naturally occurs to his mind. He does not think about water until afterwards.” and the whiskey afterwards” ot order that we might not **No, that’s quite wrong. I it out of sheer originali ity. Now what would happen if I drank this curious mixture?’ ** You would be breaking the pledge, Uncle W1it14M,” said both children, promptly and heartily. _ “* Wro I should be under doctor's orders.” “Why ’t a brick any fluidity?” asked Sanan, patiently. ** Don't interrupt, my dear chi e’re coming tothat. Now, HARLIE, when you eat or drink are » where does it go?”’ “It into li I cannot say that word,” a ae and / disposition raise the tone of the string. By drinking y blank.” He suited the action to the word. ** Now you’ll be v, suid Cagaae, | Bie Se pegeet tho—” **On one glass of weak whiskey-and-water—never !” “But why hasn’t a brick any fluidity?” asked Sanau, quite patiently. “First of all, listen to this, That whiskey-and-water is now inside me. I want you to understand what inside means. Go and stand in the ond chat the cece of ie soem after you. * But, U i hasn’t a any—” Pm ient Cuante. ‘It is our uty to obey So the two to bed.” And Uncle

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HE LONDON CHARIVARI. The Illwminated Doorway. ANOTHER SCENE FROM THE PANTOMIME AT ST. STEPHEN’S. Brilliant effect lately introduced into the House of Commons. {Feprvary 7, 189], — hee toe 2 — — >... iii — oi i. pte, «ft. ot lereogedcoey

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| | | | | And the ice, with an unwonted warmth of . Fesruary 7, 1891.) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL A DEAD FROST. Wuen I saw you on a January morning epee Fen d t your & “To uddenly from other passions freed. Showed ‘hough th wing flame awhile I tried to smother _— — Like a brother ; And that’s a very common p As we My hat and stick I suddenly found fleeting, And they whistled o’er the surface, smooth and black, Slapt me suddenly and hard upon the I didn’t mind your laughing, if the laughter Had left no sting of, scorn to rankle after. Though I’d joyously have flung myself before you 0 adore you, : Still to sit with all one’s might upon the ice Isn’t nice. When I met you in the lordly local ball-room, Where you queen’d it, the suburban world’s desire, Though your programme for my name had left but small I somehow snatched five valses from the fire. (room, | And I did stout supper-service for your mother, While you woye the self-same s o’er many another, And I said, no doubt, the sort of things that they did, In the shaded Little nook beneath the palms upon the stair, To my fair. Bat I noticed, as I learned to know you better, And you ceased to wile the victim at your feet, There was very little silk about the fetter, And ’twere flattery to say your sway was sweet : Nay, you made the light and airy shrine of beauty A centre for the most exacting duty, And the fealty of the family undoubting Met with flouting, As a tribute which was nothing but your due, As they knew. Your Papa is getting elderly and bulky, _ And he loves you as the apple of his eye, Yet very little things will e you sulky, And to meet his little ways you never try. And I see him look a trifle hurt and puzzled, And his love for you is often check’d and muzzled ; | Yet I think, upon the whole, that I would rather |} rence Be your father, Than the lover you could torture at your ease, lf you please. STRANGE, BUT TRUE. Six,—Under the heading of ‘* Ecclesiastical Intelli- ” in the Times of Saturday, I read that, ‘* The Lorp CHanceLtor has preferred the Rev. W. R. Wetcu, of Hull, to the Vicarage of Withernwick, East York- shire.” I presume the Lonp CHAnceLton knows both | the gentleman and the place tho: hly, and so wisel | Kepresentative of Law and O: | elects which he prefers; but to one who, like myself thousands of others, know neither, it strikes me that I would certainly prefer the place to the however worthy. It is, indeed, grati vg © see the Highest in the realm, after Her Gracious Masgsty, is so utterly uninfluenced by | any mercenary motives. I send this by Private Post, | an old soldier, and am yours enthusiastically, The Retreat, Hanwell-on-Sea, N0ODLE DE Noopie. “ Berrer Lars taaw Never.”—Two Jurymen. says a paragraph in last Saturday’s 7imes, wrote to the Solicktor | acting for a female prisoner, one Curien, who had been convicted of perjury and sentenced at » to say that they *‘ gave in to a verdict of Guilty because it was | Very late, and one gentleman had an important e88 engagement at home.” This recalls the li “ And wretches hang that Jurymen may dine.” The remaind of ELLen CurLxn’s sentence of five years’ penal servi de is remitted, It is suliddectery 40 taow that oy had the courage of their opinions before it was too late. SYMPATHETIC EGOISM OF GENIUS. (A Study.) ‘Don’r RUN AWAY YET, Otp Man! It’s quire gARLY, AND I wawr To HEAR ALL ABouT your AcapEMy Picture, wuica I'M TOLD Is 8PLENDID.” [ Proceeds to describe his own at great length, and then suddenly finds out how late it is, and bolts ! ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. House of Commons, Monday, Jan. 26.—P.L0N Ker undoubtedly the most successiul Commissioner of Works of recent times. A little coolness up between him and Cavenpisu Bentincx about those staircases in Westminster Hall. But chacun a son idea of a staircase. Piuwxet quite as likely to be right as C. B. Always doing something to im e arrangements of House. Does it quietly, too; Mem- bers know nothing about it till come down and find new Smoking-room, fresh arrangements of lights, new rooms for Ministers, and occasionallv a priceless old table adorning Tea-room. Various ac- counts of its origin, Some say Magna Charta signed on it. Others fix earlier date and attracted by the initials ““W. RK.” clearly carved on left leg, affirm that it is the very table on which Wim Rex took his five o'clock tea after Battle of Hastings. Latest ise prepared by First Com- missioner is Ulumination of entrance to House from Lobby, cunningly effected by electric lights set within recesses of arch. Scunap- HORST, revisiting ‘House after long interval, astonished at this," Making things very comfortable in anticipation of our coming in,” he says, sweetly. came upon Nicnotas Woops; found him standing in attitude of patient and in- telligent expectation. ‘‘ What are you wait- ing there for?” Lasked. “‘Why don’t vou come in and hear Swinsunwe make one or two speeches on Tithes Bill ?”

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72 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL [Fesrvary 7, 1891. ———————— “* Well —er— fact is,” said Nicnoras, steadfastly keeping his eyes on tain that the House of Commons exceeded its jurisdiction when it archway, ‘‘ Wiirarp Laweow told me that if I was here about eleven | ordered King Caantes Tue Frast to be beheaded, but I never heard o'clock | would see Pronxer and the Arronnsy-Geweral come out that it was proposed, after the Restoration, to expunge the Resolution under the archway dancing a pas de deuz, Couldn’t make out when | from the books.” I arrived what the illumination was for; asked Lawson. ‘Oh,’ says| Irreverent House went off into roars of laughter, amid which Mr. he, ‘it’s the First Commissioner's reminiscence of one of the aleoves | Dick, more than ever bewildered, sat down, and presently went out to at Vauxhall Gardens.’ Then he told me about Pirowxer and | ask Miss Betsy Trotwood why they laughed. Wenerer. Thought I'd liketosee it. Do you think it’s all right?” | Business done.—Resolution of June, 1880, declaring Brapitavex “ re a said, ‘‘ ALBERT + a = sumetiing about ineligible to sit, expunged from journals. Atroryry-GewEral going on the Spree. But that was in Germany, ns . “ : and he had his skates with him. Don’t know how it'll be here.| incomeceded bo ices tonieee analy sayes\ The worm persistently You mustn't forget that Witrarw’s something ofawag. Wouldn’t aggressive attitude.” So it has proved to-night. ih Gunes advise you to wait much after eleven o'clock. : ' long been object of contumelious attention. Members jeer at him House engaged all night on Tithes Bill. Not particularly lively. )0, he rises: talk whilst he orates : laugh when he is serious, are Towards midnight Taswen, preternaturally quiet since House met, | .orious when he is facetious. But the wounded worm has turned at enddenly woke up, and. d propos de bottes, moved to report progress. last, Sroxzy has struck. GxD7x has been goaded once too often. Covurtyry down on him like cartload of bricks; d to put; “It was CouRTNEY brought it about. Motion en} abuse .o ~ omg — rather | Been six hours in Chair in Committee on ing. a times wou ve an outburst o " ne : : indignation in Irish camp; Chairman's - a | Tithes Bill; feeling faint and weary, glad squabble agreeably occupied rest of evening. But times changed. to refresh himself with sparkling conver- ; sation of Grand Young Garpner; Grenor rabsiod,'and business went forward without fartberehesk-''|00, his feet at moment in favourite ora: Business done.— Tithes Bill in Committee. acl ena A atte ge Fa er hry Tuesday.—Mr. Dick De Liste came down to House to-night full |}, oa bs pom 5 mat, nm ie it “oy of high‘resolve. Hadn’t yet been a Member of House when it shook | Yes; it was Chairman of Committees con- - from time to - the — con- | versing with frivolous elderly young man tr round Buapiavon, his oath, | whilst he (S. G.) was debating the Tithes his affirmation, and his 4 eng Bill! Should he pass over this last indig- [ = At that time was in ingapore, | pj _ elping Sie Faspenscx Wass to govern nity ? No; honour of House must be vin- & - dicated ; lofty standard of debate must be the Straits Settlements. Buthad watched | maintained; the higher the position of controversy closely, and had contri-| offender the more urgent his duty to strike buted to its settlement b mE ®\a blow. Was standing at the moment er — > , _—, | aligned with Chair; paused in argument; tamentary Oath. Now, by chance, | faced about to the right and marched with the yy copped fie again. Baav- solemn steps to the end of Gangway, the vavom had secured first place on to- | Bench having been desolated by his speech night's order for his Motion rescinding | ,., far as it had gone famous Resolution of June, 1880, de-| gir” he said bending angry brows on Guns Se ay to take his seat. | Chairman, “I am afraid my speech inter- RADLAUGH ill in ; sick unto death, : eo % seamels bub Heunen had. tobe rupted your conversation. herefore I : have moved further away.’ up task for him, and would move Reso-| ‘That was all, but it was enough. Her- lution. Of course the Government would o it; if necessary, De Liste | poi: Ganpwek slunk away. Countner Soul Cnt this sth sepmene in bean, roe. ov, ages of fe ly are any case, they should have his vote. | ung down his guilty . an 0 Heard Geaacrren-Gurenat, with keen | ok LAT Mitman who had been engaged in conversation. undesirability and, impossibility of | ,,Dusiness done.— Level flow of Debate on Tithes Bill interrupted by fing to ition. but denounced | *°vlt of Sypyry Gener. f ng a, b poser . —_ . , . ‘ h ” Gl y. ther a disappointing evening from Opposition point of Ee r. em - a view. In advance, was expected to be brilliant field-night. Irish Exit ! kind of things eleven years ago, when | Administration to be attacked all along line; necessity for new he was Leader of triumphant party, and had been defeated again and | departure demonstrated. Suaw-Lerevar led off with Resolution again. Of course same fate awaited him now. Government had | cmenmng eons of poate of —~ yy Rasee maior 7 embers. Mr. G. in his place; expec speak ; but presently me Nes mouth of Soriciron-GeweraL, and there was an went oft others fell away, and all the ing made fr 4 Minis. r : COTE. unaccusto partici ; nehes. SuHaw-Lerevee mercilessly, House roa: a ee ee lmmediatel oad per re at SaunDERSON’s 1% of his going to interview Suran, and RALITY, by way of testifying to his unaltered loyalty. At same | being shown into stable to make acquaintance of Soxran’s horse. time he suggested that, after all, would be as well to humour Brap-| Prince Axraur turned on unhappy man full blast of withering Laven and his friends, and strike out Resolution. Then Orp|* orm. Don’t know whether Suaw-Lerevae felt it; some men Morairy rose from side of Soticrror-GeweRat, and, unmindful of | Tther be kicked than not noticed at all; but Liberals felt they had that eminent Lawyer's irresistible argument and uncompromising | been drawn into ridiculous position, and mumured bad words. declaration, eaid, ‘‘on the whole,” perhaps NoxrHoore was right, | :. What’s the use,” they ask, “‘of winning Hartlepool out of doors, and so mote it be. if things are so m that we are made ridiculous within ?” The elect of Mid-Leicestershire for air. Did his cars| Business done. —Suaw-Lerevar’s Resolution on Irish Land deceive him, or was this the end of the famous Brapiaven inci- | Question negatived by 213 Votes against 152. dents? Op Moratrrr, in his cheerful way, suggested that, as they were doing the on oe better do it unanimously. z E e ‘ ” General cheer approved. started to his feet. One Thermidor up to Date. voice, at least, should be heard in protest st this shameful sur- | (Toned down for English Reception.) render. Began in half-choked voice : ently struggling against Zast Act—On the road to the Guillotine—Hero, instead of Heroine, some strange temptation; talked about the Parnell Commission ; about to be executed—Heroine imploring Hero to sign paper. argued by 4 ef ae G. on = v — of tae. Heroine. Attach but your signature, and you are free! diction. Observed, as he went on, to be waving his hands as if Hero (after reading | “" ates horror). Leip ng hea repelling some object; turned his head on one side as if he would to many ae tne proerest a (Beit to romise case oo. fain escape apparition ; House looked on wonderingly. At length, “®Y*T = ee guillotined, . with something like sudued sob, De Liste gave way, and Members| learned what had troubled him. It was dear old Mr. Dick’s com-|_ An Artist awp 4 Wuistier.—M. Coqvetin has summoned M. plaint. Standing up to t his Memorial against iversation Lissacaray for having thrown a whistle at him on the night of the of Oty Monatrry, De fous could not help dragging head of Thermidor row. It is to aye per by this time M. LissaearaY Cuantes Tue Frest. “ As « Royalist,” he said, “‘I should main-| will have been made to pay for his whistle. — > NOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will im no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—Fesavarr 7, 1891. s a sample, will be sent ‘= ine saiven ¢ om receipt of P.O. for és. 64 CHD. MATHEWS & co., snd 3, HART BT., secmses=> we. Bo d by all Lea pune Me nena re throughout Impia and the Covomtss. —s he o Best “Cup o’ Kindness.” riect Blending of the CHOICEST — the Highest Classes of Fine Old Whiskirs, their Notive Parity, as produced im Scotland. 3.0.8. OLD SCOTCH Twelve Years 014, 50s. on os. ” 45s. , 7 » i, Carriage Paid on Orders on 1 dos. ond be acgg Payee skilled biandore “Wallen; an OT gs FR of i -o Sui‘hep wal’ donk a casts Sample tle, Carriage Paid, anywhere in see United King- dom on receipt of 4+ oe — and +. 6d. respective PEASE, SON, & 't0., LEITH, SCOTLAND. PNGLISH RRANCH, DARLINGTON, DURZAM. EBsrancisnep 1808, Picase mention “ Punch” when ordering. LIQUEUR OF THE LY Gi. CHARTREUSE. uA delicious Liqueur, which hes teiy come so much inte public favour be = ~~ > SS : as hace count of ite wonderful prepertics | siding Digestion and preventh Dyspep-ia,can w be hed of al the neipal Wine and Spirit ante th ughout the Riagiem, and at a con- erably less pri = formeriy — YL) 35, Srutched Priare, London, Sir CHAS. CAMERON, M.D., Sa ta Sa ae, aes ease ee SEE? NEAVE'S F De. BARTLETT, Ph.D., F.CS., ress fee AXP, S Tor INFANTS, INVALIDS, FOOD th Se constituents are far above the the best Partncosons Foods FRY’S PURE CONCENTRATED SOLUBLE COCOA “1 consider it & very rich, delicious Cocoa.”—W. H. R. STANLEY, M.D. ~ at one sae *rrederich: and HR. M. the Prineses of Wales. EGERTON BURNETT'S “ROYAL SERGES and Fashionable Materials for Refined Dress ir Spivey Sew ont Aesieto Design and pL Wed. teint » Qualities - Perfect The Biues are specially dyed. and will not tura_« bad coloar with Bun, Rain, or Salt Water, EW ATTERNS Paid on Order of and above to any —y the United i No Acunts on Mippis-Mew Exurcorap. EGERTON BURNETT, Wellington, Somerset, England. DELICIOUS NEW PERFUME Continue to be supplied to Her Majesty the Queen. SEWARE OF IMITATIONS OF POTR BED AND BKOWN LABSLA GRAB APPLE BLOSSOMS (RETR A-cOnCEN TRATED.) o rT is the Gaintiget ond most ana delicio of pertw ry boudoirs of the grandes dames of London, Paris, ond New York.” "= The Argonaut. Maps onty ST THe CROWN PERFUMERY COMPANY, 177, NEW BOND St, W TO CURE ALL HEADACHE, HEADACHE, HEADACHE, USE HOFFMAN'S HARMLESS HEADACHE POWDERS. Tested in many of the severest cases, and always proved effectual. They contain no opium, bromides, or narcotics, and the | highest medical authorities have pro- d them harmless. Thousands now FRERES’ guts FIRST QUALITY rae RES CHAMPAGHE. DORE’S RAINPROOF-HYGIENIC TWEEDS FOR SUITS AND ULSTERS. 5, CONDUIT ST., W. FOR ASTHMA &C DATURA TATULA FOR SMOKING AND INHALATION. VORY & M00 oe. And of Chemists attest their value, and nons need suffer from headache. A TRIAL WILL CONVINCE. See that you get HOFFMAN'S HARMLESS HEADACHE POWDERS. Your own Chemist, and all the Wholesale Houses, Price ls. 41. per box, Post Free from J. K. MATTERSON, CHEMIST, 108, NEW OXFORD ST., LONDON. | LIEBIG COMPANY'S EXTRAOT or BEEF UR QUNLIGHT SOAP nonin COMPETITIONS. value PRIZES “ver £6,000. COMPETITIONS EACH MONTH DURIND 1891. There is no element of chance in these Competi- tlons the wioning of a Prize de; ending entirely on the perseverance and trouble taken to coileet the WRAPPERS COMPETITION. Por Girls and Boys \6 last Birthdoy and under. each month —6) Silver '—- Lever ‘altham Watches, value £4 CARD BOX COMPETITION. Ore to all tg dt, 17 last ley and ——s 60 Bilver Lever then Watches, value £4 4s. cach. Li's of Winners of each month's competition will be advertired in the runny Iicversarep Paren the pay S.turday of the month following, and a printed s Winners will be forwarded to competitors send j4 stamp to pay po-tage pote Bend va Name Address on Posteard for Rules to smoke " pont BUN- LIGHT, near pik &NHEAD. | PRICE COLLINSON & LOCK'S FURNI TURE. CELEBRATED FOR 5 ae A ~ —s — PERFCT WORKMANSHIP. Manufactyred of the F, A LARGE sock of CARPETS 18 of « every ery DESCRIPTION of es to meet all wihuracruRt UFACTURE. 176 ts 86, OXFORD STREET, Ww. Bewaae of tae Paart orrenine lurr tions oF acriven & Canenon's lene THE FLYING “J” PEN. Writes over bay AH dip. “ Beems th the apie o's art." Bold I mat OB fampic Bos af Se wk “” by Post. Mactiven & Cameron, Waverley Works, Edinburgh. HOP, TEA’ A delicious blend of INDIAN and CEYLON TEA blended with ENGLISH HOPS, prepared under Serttive’s Patents Improves the fliivour of ten, aeviete »toothes yet refreshes, SOLD retall by all Grocers, THE HOP THA co., Low,., ST. GEORGE A HOUSE, FASTCHEAP. 4}, §, and 1 lb, samples, with tretimonials, de , will be sent on receipt of P.U.0. N.B.--Wholesale only, therefore no second sample will be sent. 1 EASHAW & 00°8 HOOPING & GOUGH, ROCHE’S CRO EMBROCATION The ceebrated effe-tusl cure @iihouwt internal medicine. Sole Wholrasie Agents, W. Howsnve & Son, 187. Queen Victoria a Street, Boid by most Chemists Price + > te eee Parie—#. Acanp, 328, Rue Bt. New York—PFoworns & Co., North Willem Street USED IN THE ROYAL NURSERIES, ~ BEST FOOD INFANTS. In Tins, 1s., 2s., 5s. and 10s. each. SAVORY & MOORE, tovoon, AND SOLD EVERY WRIGHT S COAL SOAP 2/- 7 **_ =e, ee

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_ PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL—Fesevarr 7, 1891.

Maisto" |

The “ Analyst,” comparing the flesh-forming ingredients in Cocoas, gives the following average:— “ Flesh-forming ingredients in Natural Cocoa Nibs - - o ee - oe 13°00” “ditto ditto in the best Commercial Cocos, with added Starch and Sugar .. .. .. «+ « 6°00” = ditto ditto in Cadbury's Cocoa, the Standard English article... .. « .-. , asl. e. aa 21°00” “The process of preparation concentrates the nourishing and stimulating principles of the Cocoa bean.” “CADBURY'S COCOA BEING ABSOLUTELY PURE, IS THEREFORE THE BEST COCOA” Priateé by ¥ Ulam Staart mith, of Ne 8, Loraine Read, Hollo im the Parish of 6t Mary, Islington, tn the County of Middlesex Printing Offices of Mesars. Bradbury, A rw, & Cn, Lame Lombard Street, ia be Precinet of ta the Clty of London, and Published i ) t Uy him St Bo. Ss, Fhowt Sureet, tn the Parle of O& Buide, Clty of London —Gaswang? 1, rr x “ > oo {e) ~ z D 4 oO a