Punch 1888-07-07: Vol 95 Iss 2452

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THE THAMES—HENLEY. By G. D. LESLIE, R.A. “People familiar with Mr. Leslie's pi. a Prin who is not?—will esperence no surprise to find from these c ing UT l ex GENTLEMAN. i seat a gy he oe “A ant record of some of the most metropolitan river liter rt. he river.” — the most Beautiful pictures and shetches| 66 ILLUSTRATIONS. Royal Bvo. 12/6, |#Atané stretehes of the rover.” Pimp, (Brapervy, AGrew, & Cu, Bouverr Sr., EC

N° 2452. VOLUME THE NINETY-FIFTH. —@—— JULY 4 < “« .") 281° Ji eee US be OL ee Te PUNE VOL. Rie Gee : . rh ras

—— OFFICE, 85, FLEET STREET, AND SOLD BY ALL BOOKSELLERS.

CHOCOLAT MENEER BREAKFAST. “BONSd SB3YHL B0IUd

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL—Jutry 7, 1888. SMITH, ELDER, & CO,’S NEW BOOKS. Ready this an with « portrait of Me Baowrrms, PIPPA PASSES; KING VICTOR AND KING CHARLES; THE RETURN OF THE DRUSES : aad A SOUL'S TRAGEDY. By ROT ERT BROWNING Being Volwme 4 of the New ane wiroas Borrow ov rue Courtere ve pease oF Rowear Baowrire This Edition will consist of @ Voiomea. A Volume Will be published Monthiy POPULAR EDITION OF H. RIDER HAGOARDL'S 7Ees6.” Ready this day, crown Ovo, 2. 64. JESS. By H. RIDER HAGGARD, Author of “King Solomon's Mines,” “She: «6 History of Adventure,” 4c. wWEW VOLUME OF THE “DICTIONARY OF NATIONAL BIOGRAPHY.” Reedy this day ise. in Goth; or in halt morocco, marbled edges, Ie.. Volame XV Drake), royal 6vo, of the DICTIONARY OF NATIONAL BIOGRAPHY. Edited by LESLIE STEPHEN Voteme XVI. wil be issued on tember %, and further Volumes at intervais of Three Monthe. NEW VOLUME OF SMITH, ELDER, & CO.'6 POPULAR @& «orp @. 64. SERIES Ready this day, fep v0, boards, pictorial cover, 2s. ; or imp cloth, 3s. 64. LOYS, LORD BERRESFORD, and other Tales. Py the Author of * * Molly rey, Bewn,’ “Mrs. Geot- SMITH, ELDER, @ ©O., 16, Waterloo Piace. BLACK’S Guide _ Books. Isle of Man, Oe. 64 Ise of Wight, ls. 64. Jersey, le Kent, Ss, 64. Killarney Lakes, ls Leamington, ls. Leicestershire, 2s London, Ss. 64. Nottinghamshire, 3s 64 Sca: borough, le. Beotiand ts 64. & le. Surrey, 2s. 6d, Sussex, Br. 6d. Wales, Se. & le. Warwickshire, 2s 64. Yorkshire, 5s. London Brighton, be Huxton, slands, te 6d Cheltenham, ls Cornwall, 2s, 64 Derby shite, ds. 6d. nehire, Be. 6¢ Dorvet>hire, le 64. BKogiand, 10s. 64 Knglieh Lakes 3s. 64 Gloucestershire, 2s. 6d Ouernees, le HNarrogate, le Hem pehire, 3: 6d ae bd Chasari Lev . 64. Hereford Ireland, 6s ADAM axp CHARLES BLACK BLACKWOOD'S MAGAZINE. Mo. 873.——JULY 1888.——2s. 64, ContTewrs. 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OPINION OF “PUNCH.” “ Everybody who cares about a novel with a good plot, so well worked ont that the excitement is kept up through the volame and culminates with the last chapter of the story, must ‘ Like,’ and can never again ‘ Unlike,’ this the latest and certainly one of the best of Mise Baappow’s novels. Miss Brappow is our most dramatic novelist. Her method is to interest the reader at once with a very first line. A few touches present her characters living before the reader, and the story easily developes itself in, appa- rently, the most naural manner possible. Like and Uniike will make many —_ lave for dinner, and wil! keep a number Yirr- up at night when they ought to soundly sleeping. These are two a testa a really well-told sensational novel. Vive Miss Basppvom | "’— Punch, Oct. 15, 1887. London : pment ty MARSHALL, & CO.; and all Bookstalls, &. First produced and designated CORN FLOUR by BROWN & POLSON in 1856. BROWN & POLSON’S CORN FLOUR ‘Was in the field sometime before any other was anywhere heard of, and no other has now an equal claim to the public confidence. ACMILLAN’ sx MAGAZIN E. 1. The openers Ee’ James. XIIL— ; by Sir Francis Engiand’s Real Peril; by Captain Hozier. of Waterfalls; by the Honbie. TURKISH PASTILS = Foe yan heady 4 weve Oe Oe . have seen these Pastils \-~ once in Bwope, at Pisess & Losm’s Montague. ‘iskesohe admire a* Breath of Flowers” ee mae Oy Benent Mowe, should takes Pastil night and morning ; by Walter Pater. (To be tinued | Al. Lecian; by MH. D. Trail. MACMILLAN & ©O., LONDON. “OUR NEIGHBOURS.” PARTRIDGE & COOPER, ATIONERS, 192, "FLEET STREET. 70 SAVE THE TEETH, USE DAILY THOMPSON & CAPPER'S DENTIFRIGE WATER. Tn 1s. 64, 2s. 64, ds. 64., and 8s. 6d. bottles, BEWARE OF INJURIOUS IMITATIONS. THOMPSON & CAPPER, CHEMISTS, 55, Bold Street, Liverpool, and 61, Piccadilly, Manchester. MAPPIN & WEBB’S ELECTRO PLATE MEDALS. 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Juty 7, 1888.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL. OUR DEBATING CLUB. THE election of a new member to the Gargoyle attended by any incident of note, that I may be pardoned, perhaps, for devoting this paper to the description of almost the single excep- tion in our annals. It is our invariable custom to transact all business of this sort before yooseeains to debate; and on the evening in question PLumiry Durr, who had proposed the candidate for elec- tion, rose to give the information necessary to enable them to yoann wasn his claims to admission. ‘how Durr had very good-nat y undertaken the duty at the suggestion of Bosnen, who had represented that the recommendation would fall with far os weight from him, and that, in Durr’s hands, the election was safe. ** Well, Gentlemen,” said Durr, in his most matter-of-fact style “it is not usual to say much on these occasions. I can only remind ou of the value of alittle new blood from time to time in our councils. en I have said that Mr. Scrr1o P. Goxrporse is a member of one of our most ancient Inns of Court, the Under Temple, and is fitting himself to take an active part in the profession of the Law, I think you will see that he has—ah—fair qualifications for election as a Gargoyle.” Then GEYSER pri y “T must say, tlemen,’’ he erence to our friend, Mr. Durr, I don’t think he has laid Mr. (eh? yes, thank Gorrpotsr’s claims to our votes before us with all hness he usually devotes to whatever he t ‘ doubt, inadvertently—a v important fog in mage with the Candidate which, - my humble opinion, appeal strongly to your imaginations. . GOLIBOISE is a representative of one of the most thriving of the dependencies of our great Empire. He comes to us, Gen from the Island of— (which ? ah, just so)—the fair and smiling i of Sangaree. I put it to rr whether it is not our duty to lay aside all minor considerations, and, in this a striking instance of the Country to her Colonies! Club is so seldom rose with his usual impetuosity. “with all def Jubilee time, give the world pg! apelin which unites the — hyd Le there nothin, om grudging ’ in the response we make to his applica tion for oe Gen i t to us from across the seas—let us not in is stretched ou the palm we hold forth in return, conceal the invidious form of one solitary black-ball!” (There was a murmur of admiration at this Sine image.) “ Let us for once be unanimous in throwing our wide open to receive the stranger who stands knocking at the the Gargoyle Club!” was no necessity for any further speech- VERE would get up; he always will whenever he sees the slightest rtunity, for his great idea is that oratory comes with practice, doesn’t so much matter what you say, so long as you gain Socr of and that it a little more confidence by saying it. So VERE began very fluently: ‘‘ As to the remarks of the Honourable Member who has just sat down, I only wish to remark that the remarks he made were remarks——” (Here he looked about him in a distressed manner) ‘‘ remarks which were very ably—er, very ably remarked. I can’t help rising to say that I have ne—that Loud applause. ing, but Percy | down I rise without any—I—I mean . . . that I don’t feela—a.... (I could tell you the word if I could only remember the name—it’s curious how you forget things standing up!) oh,—what I meant was hesitation !” Having arrived at this point, he sat down very contentedly. “*T won’t add any w of my own,” said Pryceney, “to the elocuent pleas (here Percy Vere looked deeply gratified) we have just listened to. The Secretary will now distribute the s, and the ballot-box will then be brought round in the usual manner to each member.” ‘*T am happy to tell you, Gentlemen,” our President announced, after a scrutiny of the box, amidst much enthusiasm, ‘that Mr. Go rose is elected without a single dissentient voice! And now let us proceed to the motion before the House, which is——”’ **One moment, Sir,” said Bosuer. ‘I believe the new ( jargoyle is below at this instant, waiting permission to take his seat amongst us, With your leave, i will now invite him to do so.” But this quite innocent proposal brought up Porpentine: ‘I must really protest, Sir! It looks to me as if the Candidate, by coming here this evening, must have ed his election as a foregone conclusion; as if-—I am about to conclude with a motion, Sir. . . I move—‘ That, having to circumstances with which the Club was previously u uainted, Mr. Go.rnose be now informed that his election is still u consideration.’ ”’ Geyser (rising excitedly). Really, Sir! really! Are we to punish Mr Gorzsenmn or his very laudable impatience to join our sonete Is his ignorance, ble in a stranger, of our customs to thrown in his like this? A thousand times no, Sirt I call upon Mr. Porrentive to withdraw his motion; otherwise, I, for one, will not continue a member of this Club a single day! No, Sir, not one hour—not one minute—not one instant—(/owering his voice impressively)—not one week! (Cries of ‘‘ Withdraw!” and some poe mine g Porpentine (rather sulkily). I beg to withdraw the motion. Pinceney. Then, if Mr. Bosner will introduce the new Member as he poses, I now upon Mr. Geyser to bring forward the subject for debate, which is in the following terms :—‘‘ That this House is of opinion Racial other distinctions are invi- dious and reactionary, and should be abolished.” Bosner had already disa , and, as the President spoke, there were steps outside, and presently the door eqeset, and Mr. Gottporse made his first entrance into the Gargoyle Club. He walked up to the vacant chair next to Geysrr’s, which Bosner had vacated (by the way, he did not reappear that evening), and sat grinning from ear to ear, evidently highly pleased with himself and us, after which he devoted himself to rolling his eyes, and suck- ing the top of his walking-stick. “ trust that we did nothing unworthy of our character as Gargoyles and as gentlemen; but I am bound to confess that our new Member's appearance excited a certain sensation amongst us which could not be wholly disguised. For Mr. Gorrsoise happened to be a remarkably fine specimen of the Eye African type. It made no difference, of course, but we should like to have a little better prepared. VOL. XCY. B

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, [Jury 7, 1888. THE CONQUEROR JOCK; OR, THE WHIP-HAND. (Some way after ‘* The Conqueror Worm.”’) Time was when owners of horses were the masters of the trainers and the jockeys ; now it too often happens that the trainers are the masters of the owners, and the jockeys masters of both.”—Srr Cuaries Rvusseuu. es TOON at! aly... om eo we Ss, Sea Arse Lo! ‘tis a gruesome sight, Stand in a race-course ring to see | Mimes in the form of magnates high Within these loathly latter years, A play of hopes and fears, Mutter and murmur low, A feverish throng, dust-coat bedight, And an undertone breathes fitfully, And hither and thither fly ; With veils, or cads, or peers, Now curses, and now cheers. Mere puppets they who come and go

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Jury 7, 1888.] PUNCH, OR At bidding of misshapen things, That drive them blindly to and fro, Dealing from out their rascal rings Inevitable woe ! That motley drama—oh, be sure It shall not be forgot ! With its Phantom chased for evermore By a crowd that seize it not, Through a circle that ever returneth in ; To the self-same spot ; And much of madness, and more of sin, And swindling the soul of the plot. But see amid the mimic rout A wizen thing intrude ! A shrivelled shape that rides about With despot power imbued ! It spurs !—it whips !—the Swells, the Snobs, The vampire treats as food, And the nobles that it rides—and robs— Are to its will subdued. Down—down on all fours are they all, The sordid, sold, fool-flock, The fierce whip-lashings fall Like pr thcing two on a rock ; And the dupes, from counter or Court, That wizened thing doth mock : The play is the farce called “* Sport,” And its hero the Conqueror Jock ! WILFRID LAWSON’S LATIN, Tue following quotations, freely translated, may be added toe the Baronet’s admittedly limited stock :— ‘* Clausum fregit ’—He burst up the Clause. ** Horresco referens” —It gives me shivers to refer to it. ‘* Pro bono publico”’—For the bones of the Publican. ** Res angusta domi” —The cussedness of the House. ‘* Ere perennius”’—Trust me for brass. ** Tempora mutantur’’—W ouldn’t I just like to take my change out of the Zimes. ‘* Est modus in rebus’’—Mine is the only measure for everybody who is at all anybody. ‘* Dulce est desipere in loco’ —It is pleasant to play the fool in a certain place. ‘* Nigroque similima cygno”’—And very like a black Public-house sign. ** Fons et origo bonorum”’—The town pump. ** Actum est de Republicd’’—It’s all up with the Licensed Victualler’s business when my Act passes. Visitor. Brown, SAVE SAY | HUNDRED ; | OF HIMSEL Aw Howyest Jocxey.—Rather unstable. THE LONDON CHARIVARI. \ it i 1 mi } “WAYS AND MEANS.” “You TAKE IT EASY, Brown. You Must HAVE A GOOD SaLary.” ‘*H-mM—va-As—PRE'Y WELL. I praw Turek HuUNDRED A YEAR— A HUNDRED, AND RUN INTO DEBT Four HuNDRED, THAT 's—EIont AND IF A BACHELOR CAN'T LIVE ON THAT—'OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED yi)” THE EX-PENSIVE PRESIDENT, R.B.A. THREE weeks ago we asked, ‘‘ Who is Mr. Wrxe Baruiss?” beyond being the President-Elect of the Society of British Artists in lieu of the Licen istler, James I., de . We are now answered. The gentleman has been interviewed by a friendly Figaro who furnishes us with the following facts :— ‘*‘Mr. Wyxe Bayuiss, when a student at the British Museum, did | not limit his attention to the Elgin Marbles,” but on the other hand, . as a Chess-player, he held, last year, the cup for the county of Surrey. % He is, moreover “Chairman of the Board School in his District,” “Member of the Diocesan Council of Rochester,” and besides being ., Public Orator of Novi ” (what on earth is this’), he is Honorary Fellow of the Society of Cyclists.” It is quite clear from all this that Mr. W. B. was born for Suffolk Street, and W HISTLER, the Painter, was there decidedly out of place. And now having discovered Wrxe Barziss, Pres. Elee., we have four questions to put to anybody who can answer them ; #. ¢., ‘‘ Who, What, or Where is ‘ Noviomagus’?” And ‘ Why has he a Public Orator all to himself ?” Suapy Praces ron Hor Weatner.—During the past week, Lord DuNRAVEN, as Chairman of the Sweating Commission, Lord Herscueit with the Board of Works Inquiry before him, and the Lord Chief Justice with the Great Turf Libel case, might have been represented at Madame Tvssavp’s as Aacus, Minos ‘and n- thus, in a Modern ‘‘ Chamber of Horrors.” Their effigies might have melted, but their Lordships themselves are made of sterner stuff. THE WANDERING VETERAN, (A Legend 0» Wimbledon.) Tue Old Man sighed as he walked into Richmond. The children laughed at him, and their elders tossed their heads in scorn. But he did not mind. He leant on his weapon, which served him as a staff, and strode sturdily onwards. Soon he was in the Park. He sank on one knee. In a moment he was accosted by an official. ‘* Move on!” said the official. The Old Man wi away a tear, and obeyed the order. He passed through fields and gardens, and now he was at Epsom. Once more he had prepared to make a stay. . ‘** Move on!” again shouted an official, and the Veteran was forced to submit. And so he wandered from place to place—everywhere unwelcome, everywhere abused. At last he lay down on the ground. and could go no further. In spite of the rough requests of the officials ‘‘ to get up and be off,” he stayed where he was. Indeed, he could go no Rather. ‘** Where have you been ?”’ they asked him. + ‘* All over the country,” he replied, in a faint voice; and then he told them how he had journeyed from place to place, and never was allowed to settle. ‘** And who are you?” ba ‘The surviving Member of the National Rifle Association ;” and with a faint smile upon his thin lips, and forgiveness in his heart hearts, for H.R.H. the Duke of Camenrven, the last of the Volun- teers calmly died. Tue Conservative Tent sust sow.—Discon-tent.

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL [Jury 7, 1888. WHAT OUR POET HAS TO PUT UP TH. “Yes; sHe’s A MOST SYMPATHETIC WomAN. I WAS READING MY LAST POEMS TO HER ONLY YESTERDAY, AND THE DINNER-HOUR PASSED BY WITHOUT HER EVER PERCEIVING IT!” “‘ PARBLEU, MON AMI! YOU KNOW ze Frencn ProversB—‘Qvr7 port, pivz’/” JOTTINGS FOR THE TIMES. (From the Duke of Downshire’s Journal.) A very weary day. Don’t think I can stand this Omnibus driving business much longer. Having to go to the BLvEMANTLEs’ crush as soon as I get home | to-night, dressed before I took the reins in the morning, and have been got up | im full fig, ribbon of the Garter and all, under my overcoat on the box mye | so as not to keep the Duchess waiting. She says I look “crumpled.” Don’t wonder at it. Six times from Hammersmith to Whitechapel and back is enough to take the starch out of anybody. Think, however, the Duchess has been put out, finding the new Dressmaking business she set up in Bond Street not half so satisfactory as she thought it would be. She has tried to tone down the ‘‘shoppy” side of it by offering her customers five o'clock tea, and by en- deayouring to invest the whole business with a little social glamour, but she says that our pork-butcher’s wife, whom she supplied only last week with a ruby velvet, came and complained quite nastily that the dress did not fit her properly in the back, wad on the Duchess smiling amiably and saying she saw nothing amiss, retorted that ‘‘ Business was business, Duchess or no Duchess,” and that when she *‘ paid good hard ‘money for what she ordered, she expected good honest work in return.” This sort of thing is, 1 am bound to say, only what I expected. I was not, therefore, surprised to hear that my two dear daughters, the Lady Constantia, and the Lady Fropora, had had some di bles with the Principal of the Regent's Street Bonnet Establishment, in which I had just succeeded in placing them with so much difficulty, and had determined to throw the whole thing up. Then, again, the Fried Fish and Whelk business in Marylebone, which I had made such sacrifices to secure for PLANTAGENET, @ = likely to turn out a disappointing investment. He says that, after his life in the Guards, he cannot somehow take kimdly to the calling. Well, poor boy, he may be assured ,that it is not one that [, his father, would have selected for him, as the heir upen whose brows my Ducal Coronet must eventually descend—still, what was I todo? The only other thing in the market was a “ Sa ” concern. My second boy, Bertram, seems, ] am glad to note, fairly satisfied with his butcher’s calling, and dons his blouse and shoulders his tray with of them. Still, the outlook is not cheering, and if Prawtacewer backs out of the Fried Fish, all I can say is,“‘ Heaven help him!” Sometimes I think if we could give a drawing-room entertainment, and appear at a Music-Hall as “the Duke of Down- sHIRE’s talented troupe,” we might meet. I should ’still look ble in a raed eam te Lat We der Gh omen net mortg: over the hilt, it’s clear some m be done, and that quickly. Ha! here is the Duchess! She looks well in what, to raise a miserable laugh among ourselves, we in wretched satire, the ‘fami nf ste.” No matter. I will talk the subject over wi er. But the slavey has announced that the four- vee is at the door. Very well, Duchess. Lead on, ‘ollow ! HOME-TRUTHS FROM ABROAD. (But not from Mr, Browning. Gleaned from the Chancellor of the Exchequer’s Speech in the Debate of last Week.) On, to be in Ireland Now the boycott’s there And whoever wakes in Ireland Finds some » unaware, That his baker denies him his daily bread, And his butcher is threatened with ‘‘ doses of lead,” While the “‘ bhoys”’ are carving his favourite cow In Ireland—now ! II. And after daylight, when dark follows, And help is far, and vain all holloas, : Hark, where the ominous knock at supper-time Preludes a talk, a hasty shot, a groaning— _ The goodman’s end! And she, who saw the crime, | That’s the wise wife !—she’s dumb, but for low moaning, Lest she too know what mean the unwritten orders Of these same gay marauders! And though some sham re may be expressed, Next Sunda "ll show the boycott at its best ; Curses will dog the widow’s churchward way— Far better than our English Sabbath-Day! THE TRUTH ABOUT MR. BALFOUR’S HAT. Srirx,—I saw in the Times's Dublin Letter an account by an eye-wit- ness, of Mr, Batrour walking wildly about in St. James’s Park ‘‘ with his hat in his hand.” And somebody wrote to ex- plain this, and said that the correspondent of the Times wanted it to appear that Mr. Batrovr had “ lost his head.” I emphatically con- tradict this. Mr. Batrovr has not lost his head; but he frequently carries his hat on his shoulders and his head in his hands as you ma see in thip sketch by An Evye- WITNESs. Nore on soME ny 4 ee uy ee an a riate name for a witness ore ea! a a os who attacks ‘‘ Marre & Co.,” the firm always associated with furniture vans. Sone ror Lorp Tennyson anp Orner Porrs.—*‘See me re-verse.”’ New Name ror Toanet.—The Lowther Arcadia.

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Jury 7, 1888.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL. 5

COLERIDGIAN CONCEITS: Or, Drawines on Toe Woop, SILVER-PLATING A Uservt Piarsr. “In axp Our Runnine.” [At the first mention of “ useful On hearing hrase, plater,” it occurred to L-rd C-l-r-dge (-[-r-dge at Bet 7 > that several of his own and forks wanted doing up. oe. ion happy school-days.] cordingly.) —“ ou omet “ Serious Mew ENGAGED INA Race.” L-rd C-l-r s original idea— uently ph By: Putime A Horse. [L-rd C-l-r-dge’s first impression— corrected after hearing the case.] su —— eel

OPERATIC NOTES. Monday, June 25.—Lovely music to Zl Flauto Magico. The commencement of one song sun by Monostatos (Signor KrivaLDINI), a kind of Mozartised + mad instrel, reminds me of ** Ah, bravo, Figaro.” It has Pat the y reminded a good many persons of the same air long ago, but the Opera is_to = a comparative novelty. Exciting story, —a trifle mixed. Wha ther from it is that Rave. the Reliable is an Egyptian Nalted ‘amino, any some familiar form of ‘‘ Tommy,”)—and that Tommy the Tenor, falls in with three Ladies, one of whom is Mlle. Dorrt, which is a painfully su gestive name, but there i is no lame attempt about her singing, no oTTI-and- -go-one ry ’ but, on the 5." she is majestic and impressive, more OTTI- on-the-eyey ? "of performance ; and the other two are Mile. Desvienes and ‘Madame ScALcHI, who is, as it appears, in another line of business as a Real Genius (no one ever doubted it, of course) associated with two other Geniuses, Miss Louise LaBLacHEe and Mlle. BAUERMEISTER ; and without the last mentioned no cast at Covent Garden Opera can now be considered complete. Well,—Tommy the Tenor, meets one Papageno (Signor Dex Pvente),—a person in the ridiculous costume of a kind of Parrot in full feather,—and Tommy having been presented with a golden flute and a temperance blue riband, and Papageno having received a set of musical bells, = or find themselves i in, apparently, the Egyptian Court of the Crystal Palace; and here Zommy gives a solo to some Eiovteate Monkeys and profile 1 Lions, Tigers, Rhinoceri, and lephants—quite _ ‘monster concert.” Papageno makes some comic niggers dance by ying - his t bells, but beyond this they make no particular use 0 Rearing os hen Tommy pon hy» - fave to Miss Mrvnte Havxk, impersonating the remarkably fine grown-up daughter of Miss ELLA "Russet as the Queen of Nig who, fi = the loss of the infantine Muvnre, is draped in black, . representing th e curious spectacle of Night and Mourning = _ 3 iss Havx is a by = LLA RvssELL, who sings such astonishing to p-notes as quite e away her breath, the mother’s, that is, and so she herself wisely declines the vociferous encore; but, befepe she retires, makes a handsome present of a ps to be used asa paper-knife, to her daughter Muvyie, who, having accepted it unwillingly, promptly loses it. Then the Mozartian Christy Minstrel eanege peer Merete with Mie too demonstrative attentions, all ib th tatun—a = always being | rescued— y eee the Tenor who, having lost his the fives uifted | as Papageno has had it restored to him by Geniuses (who have restored to Pa lost bells and - then Miss Mnvwre, assisted by the three three distinguished Geni costumes such as Geniuses wore many, many years "aes "Gaiety Fairies were invented, is taken away by Tommy e Tenor, and is a seen taking, as it a apt te! Subich eh Sih ee in leasantest manner possi ute the w and both decently attived, of course; am they stand under a mountain torrent by ae | of douche—and what Gas aouche it all means I don’t know, but the story is like it, without mentioning lie (4 . as Papagena, “the bride of Pa ought to have been Mammagena, of course—and without menti a High Priest, who a Basso, is a very low La wong ee ae ought to have ‘oad y- EDovaRD = K f, but wasn % been metamo’ magic into agnor OVARA,—an into any o Pines the wonderful detail and describing the ormation Scene at fai thea there was guns t a a z uin and Calunbine wg ois ’s Attorney- , to one of the Committee, as he takes up “re hat Sod ok slowl: emerges from box. “Should like to _ seen RavELLI as H. uin, and ARNOLDSON as Columbine, Columbine, begad ! ’’) Mshould say that a better performance of the most muddle-headed Extra: xtravaganza ever invented has rarely been seen at Covent Garden. rho peally scoms, to’ thoreaghly ut not see oy A. By Ld, ae jomy ealey it ie ALCHI. ARNOLDSON sd Vv She call to be brought on earlier eat a t on be the Princess as well? She could “double the parts” as ScALCHI p Rap Scatcut is ‘‘ the First Genius,” and can do an y has a treasure in Scatcui. Can call w moment, and never make a mis- grammic joke: so hidden. A TURN AT THE HANDEL. Tue Crystal Palace can now and then offer attractions by which crowds may be dra oo Nave Sees <i Se Seen pees by the Handel Festival, srertang ‘Go edifying teeth to a rope a’ t sight one is afraid lest the names of ALBaNI, Nor- DIca, YD, and ene es the Palace, should not be suficiently attractive in themselves. with ut adding some gymnastic feat to their fine musical performan: MN ee. ws went splendidly, and the Selections on Wednesday rought wgemer a select audience. The Grand Old Bases of the C Pe mig! ht have — better himself than the speci- men of “ The Triumph of Time and Truth,” and have called it “* The Triumph of. Fn and Tune,” which is a hint for next Festival, Sanrwey in first-rate voice, with ‘‘ Honour and Arms ; so also Lioyp, with his ‘‘ Lore in his Eyes,” (no connection with “ Two Lovely Black Eyes”), which he sang tuliclousty. The G. 0. ff of the C. P. accepted the encore of 1e Occasional Overture for this occasion only, but Atpant and Norpica refused flatly—the only note of any flatness in the entertainment—to accept any encores, no matter how they might be pressed on all hands Madame Norpica charmingly sang, ‘‘ Hush, ye pretty wobbling Choir,” addressed, of course, to t 1¢ Handelian ho ‘horisters, who evident] bridled up at the insinuation “ unsteadiness, and refused a hush,” ’ rendering their fortissimo with such precision as to prove the charge of their being ‘* pretty wobbling,” to be absolutely a foundation. [A friend, who knows nothing about it, has magpested to me that when I say ** wobbling ”’ I mean “ warbling. ” surd | If I meant “* warbli ’ I should warble.) No one at the organ can be better than Best. In fact the whole a0 ce Was 80 that as everybody wanted to have ev over again, this ‘‘ Choral Festival” may be memorable as the *‘ Great Encore-all Festival.” ———P wie

Somernine FurTHER —~ “Mr. G.”— Mr. GLADSTONE. was reported last week as having said that, among some of the few things he had to live for was to show a substantial identity between the theol Homer and of the Old Testament.” believe he since added to this the idea rhe demonstrating that the Six Days of Creation must be u as six ‘* Parliamentary Days.” Pepesraiayism AT Lamperu.—In the course of a series of amusing articles on the wang Soy wy the St. 2 St James's Gazette -ecclesiastical diffi- the legal culties of ite poation sf hamse and in the NEW CIVIL UNIFORM.

. “ Four small but-

Colonies is ‘‘a case in which, in a marked degree gree, difficulties will be solved ambu- lando.” Yes deal of “Walker” about this rem y. It might be tried this week at Lambeth. tons down front, and to button on to collar of cloak; gilt hook c rrr : cloth made u a small gold braided top and a row of gold bratd round the crown.”— Vide London Gazette, June 13.

New Name vor It.—The Metropolitan Board of ** Perks.”

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nai yt [Juty 7, 1888. ik yh Wit in iy. wi "ih My \) i = nyt Wa \ ~~, Wr wt We > ee . 2 a » > — ————— PLEASURES OF A “ PLEASURE-HORSE.” BiosByY DETERMINES TO WRITE TO THE Tres A Letrer HEADED, ‘“‘ Tue DANGERS oF THE STREETS,” DENOUNCING MiLK Carts WITH RATTLING Cans, Bicycies, Tricyctes, GERMAN Banps &c, CLEARING THE COURSE! Atrn—*“ Clar de Kitchen.”’ Ow St. Stephen’s stream, to give us room, We clear the course like a brand-new broom ; And we form a regular Government ring, And this is the song that we do sing :— Clear the river, cockboats, cockboats ! Old Morality wants clear way! ’Ware, cockboats, ’ware! If you should cross The bows of the Government Launch, you'll toss On a terrible swell from shore to shore, That might almost swamp a seventy-four. So clear the river, &c, Cockboats conceive St. Stephen’s stream Is free to all; ’tis a foolish dream. When the big boat comes with the crew at the prow, They must all get out of the way, somehow. So clear the river, &c. Like a big bull-frog in a tadpole swim, The steam launch glideth grand and grim ; And the Private Member who'd keep afloat Will be tossed like a cork in his crank cockboat. So clear the river, &c. There is Old Morality wants clear way, And the run of the river by night and day ; And chief-mate Rrrcuie he cries with a frown ‘If you don’t clear out, I shall run you down !” So clear the river, &c. Tis an Aaron’s rod of a craft, you see, This Launch, and the skipper, SALIsBUREE ; Hopes if ’tis steered with strength and skill, it will clear the river and whip poor WiLL! So clear the river, cockboats, eock boats ! Old Morality wants clear way ! COLERIDGE CORRECT, Lorp CoLERIDGE in a recent case made an observation, to which we have already drawn attention, to the effect that he could not un- | derstand how anyone with such an honoured name as ‘‘ Mosrs”’ could ever consent to change it for, e.g., ‘‘ Morpaunt.”’ The Handelian Festival brought this remark of the Lerd Chief Justice’s vividly to our mind. here would be the force of substituting ‘‘ Mordaunt”’ for ‘‘ Moses” in Israel in Egypt? Or to take a t work by another Composer, Mosé in itto, how would Mordaunt in Egitto or Montmorency in Egitto sound? No; Lord CoLertnee is right. But is he not always right ? THE BARON’S BOOK. Tue Memoirs of Baron de Rimini are anything but Barren Rimini-iscences. Startling and amusing. I’m not jealous, though he is a Baron as well as myself. Can’t help bursting out into poetry and singing :— O by Jingo! © my Jimini ! Marvellous Memoirs of Baron de Rimini ; Nothing merely niminy-piminy In the Memoirs of Baron de Rimini ! Nothing like them since the records of Baron MuncHavseEy, who, in | my humble opinion overdid it. Rimini doesn’t ; itisallfact! There’s the startler. Truth stranger than fiction. Haccarp and SrevENSON nowhere. Walk up! fours, THe Baron pe Book Worms. Iy re Scorr vr. Wurxryson.—Dear Mr. Punch,—I quite forgot to say—indeed, it only occurred to me afterwards, and I couldn’t re-open the case to admit the esprit d’escalier,—when I read out about the ‘orreries”’ in the school us, and remarked on the defective sanitation, ‘‘ On ’orrery’s ’orreries accumulate.” Yours ever, L-cKw-p. “‘ We are in quite another World,” Lord CoteRmper is rted to have said in his summing-up in the Woop case. The well-known |line from The Stranger can now, on the Lord Chief's authority, be | thus quoted, ‘‘ There is another and a Betting World.” |

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( ‘ I 4 }: ‘ 4 ARING r I ’ Hk ’ 4 ( ‘ OURSE ‘ 4e

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Jury 7, 1888.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARLI. ~~ ? x OH. at —_-~ Greenwich. An artful Detective sends us this as showing a has been happily frustrated.] [The Title does not allude to the Portraits in the above Picture, which are those of Her Majesty's Judges nefarious design (not the drawing) on the part of some ambitious Members of the Bar, which all together by steamer to dine at THE DIARY OF A NOBODY. April 28.—At the office, the new and very young clerk Prrr, who was very impudent to me a week or so ago, was late again. I told him it would be my duty to inform Mr. Perxvep, the princi To my surprise Pirr apologised most humbly and i fashion. I was unfeignedl i his aioe toneeey me punctuality. Passing — or the face urned round sharph their work. I am y a rich | to know whether that | home early and bought some more and spent the evening touching u pair of boots making them coaaery walking-stick, which-he left behi ebony. April 29, Sunday.—Woke up with a fearful headache symptoms of a cold. Carrere, with a i ich is j her, said it was “‘ painter’s colic,” and spent the last few days with m gear | a as I could bear it. Bath read experienced the test fright I of my life, for tmnt my horror thought, full of b My first artery, and was bleeding to looking like a second Manat, as I remember seei i Tussaup’s. My second cm =r was to ring the bell, but remembered there was no bell to ’ third was, that it was nothing but the out of the bath, perfectly rod all over: rescusbting’ the ed Indies I out o h, pe y over, resembli ians I have seen depicted at an East-End Theatre. Tacteaked not to sa a word to Carrie, but to tell Farmerson to come on Monday paint the bath white. y grinning, and uced me to do it, but I seized her round the waist, pad We weed, Ony Goneh to Ecos «es kind of polka when Saran en “ inni said, * i a man, Mum, at the door who wants you want any good coals.” Most annoyed at this. Spent in ing, and ing up again, the reply to the ouse, having word wi Sauk if Gowrre or Cum- mines called we were not athome. Must consult Mr. Perxurr how to answer the Lorp Mayonr’s invitation. _ May 1.—Cannre said, ‘I should like to send mother the invita- tion to look at.”” I consented as soon as I had answered it. I told ith a feeling of pride, that we had ion House, and he said know the dress-coat and trousers to the little tailor’s ve the creases taken out. Told Gowrne not to call next Monday, as we were going to the Mansion House. Sent similar note to CUMMINGS. May 3.—Caxrie went to Mrs, James, at Sutton, to consult about her dress for next Monday. While spe incidentally to Sporcn, 2 , he oa, I’m .”’ When a vulgar man POTCH discounted. In the nme & round my coat and trousers, and because Saran had not a shilling to pay for the pressing, he took them away again. ‘* READ him by his Form.” Twelfth Night, Act 111., Be. 4. (Mr. Walter meee, parte last week for Surrey against Oxford, made the enormous score of = Reap Hy ** form” proud Sarrey’s Reap, Should be called ‘‘ Read-and-Run”’ indeed. A “form” so fine, may Reap not alter ; Here’s wishing you top-scorer, WaLTER! Wax ror Tueu.—The St. Stephen’s Westminster Barometer, on the 26th inst., one of the hottest days we’ve had, marked for the Opposition side of the House 93 in the ! New Nawe.—A “ Kill-joy” or a “‘ Wet-blanket” used to be the name for the guest whose every sentence was a damper on convivi- ality. Now, more artistically, he is termed a ‘* Depressionist.”

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL. (Jury 7, 1888. ROBERT AT THE ACADEMY. + the R what is I bleeve M nstant wissits yal Academy wunce every year, gets my eye so acustomed t called Eye Hart, that now, when I entur its sacred presinks, I jest casts my egle glance around, and at wunce settles down upon my pray, and the first as I seizes upon is No. 12, which I am told is a old woman a rowing of herself to Market, with lots of wegetables, the most singular part of which is the Sea, which, strange to , is all milk, every drop of it, or it may posserbly be curds and way, but it suttenly aint water. No. 21 is Prince Brsmarck. Well, I dessay as he’s quite a faverite t tome, but I much wunders didn’t git sumbody jest to tie his xtrordinary = white handker- sher for him he went to be painted W hy u mear Coffe House woud say as he next ing as fixes my hegar gaze me of them stagverers : not my gers but fairly puzzles me, It is N wo, and led A I don’t no what a Siren or where they happens to live, but they suttenly seems a remarkable careless lot Now this one for instance has having a bath in the Sea, without no bathing - dress sum- bin all and stag cai Siren Deen a on, and body has and stole her cl ye ! there she sets, oor thing, on the hard rocks i-trying for to make the peeple in a ship ever so far off come and he lp he r. And all as she’s got to emuse herself and keep herself warm is a little Arp which I & pOse as she Ye werry fond of th left off playing of it No. 107. Why the R.H. the Erl of HarEwoop Arch ah mud ave gone - 7 and dressed hisself up in a Tourist’s Suit, that coudn’t have cost him more than about 12s. 6¢d., when he was a going to have his picter —- is a puzzle to me, the more speshally as of course he might ave been painted in his crimson robes and with a Koronet on his hed ! N she’s and praps have been taken for a Sherrif or heven a Lord Mare ! 152 is called *‘ Juno,” sumthink to do with the present munth I supp She's a flying right hup into the hair, and is about the hugliest and the crossest looking flyer as ever I seed. I overheard a Gennelman say that the reason as she looked so dredful angry was becoz she had jest left Paris in disgust, though why, I coud not understand. But my pore ed akes with seein so menny picktchers, and I must ere defur my most hintrestin remarx and crikisissums for annuther hokkashun. RoBeERt. sUuDDO ppose. a a RETURN OF PALMY ITALIAN OPERATIC DAYS. “IT say, Frep! Quire REMINDS ONE OF OLD Times, EH?” WIGS AND BONNETS. My pear Mr. Ponca, p You are always so very kind to Ladies that I am quite sure you will do your best to assist us to obtain the redress of a little grievance that has caused us a /ot of worry recently. You know how fond we are of trials—especially a criminal one, where a nice interesting murderer is put in the dock, and has to fight for his life. It is such fun! But, alas! my dear Mr. Punch, the resources of the Central Criminal Court are of the most limited character imaginable! I can assure you there is scarcely any room on the Bench, and some- times it is absolutely necessary for Ladies—accustomed to every home . —, comfort — to put up with wretched seats in the body of the Court! We want y get altered for us. Cannot the Old Bailey be re- built, or some- thing ? What makes the matter the more irritating to us is that at the new Royal Palace of Jus- tice everything is so ‘very nice. My sister and I the other day, were on e Bench with that dear Lord Chief Justice, and you cannot think how ex- cessively nice it was! We had such delight- fully comfort- able chairs, and the “L. C. J.” (asour barrister _ friends ly gave himself any room at all so that we should not be crowded! And then the Lun- cheon! Well, I will not say anything about that, as (like the Duke of PorTLAND’slet- ter), it was a —_ matter ! But really and trul it | such fun! | We laughed |and talked to our heart’s con- - tent, and the dear Lord Chief J. kept on making such funny little remarks! Pre- tending, you know, not to understand anything aboutfracing, when everybody feels that he is a thorough old sportsman! I was rather sorry I had not brought my “ work” with me; but a friend of mine —such a clever young lady—had got her Sketch-book with her, and took likenesses of all the witnesses! She finished by]drawing Mr. Lockwoop, who, everyone says, is so clever with fis pencil.¢~* If he sketched her, I am sure it must have made a pretty picture, because he seemed to be so pleased at attracting such attention! If the Lord Chiet Justice would let us bring a camera into Court, we could have great fun! Now, dear Mr. Punch, pray don’t forget about the C. C. C., and, believe me to be, always yours sincerely, Horrorsfield, Gloomshire. Emily pe Cuatrersox- Pry. was |

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Jury 7, 1888.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. OUR JAPANNERIES. No. 5. er A A UA a MUTT BCU cA IM QMULE ANETTA ug A l ON mY WHC ill ae Whi i care wy 7s \ \ Fe Pa al i> THE HOUSE = mas Ks) a 1 OF LORDS. ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT: EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. House of Commons, Monday, June 25.—Great field-night.~ Go- vernment arraigned. Indictment set forth by Jouw Mortey in speech full of gems of literary style. Oxp Moratrry formally led ifito dock. Makes a lovely criminal. Air of unimpeachable respecta- bility worth anything to counsel for defence. | , ‘Bort of man sure to be bailed out,” said Coartes Russert, look- | ing at him with professional eye. House crowded at outset, but specially in Galleries. ‘‘ Three Lord-Lieutenants looking down upon us,” said Josern GILuis, lancing up at Peers’ Gallery. ‘It’s like Naporrox—or was it ELLINGTON ?—marching his men past the Pyramids, so that he might say thirty centuries were looking down on ’em.” Jory B. nodded with friendly recognition to Spencer and ABER- pEEN. Rather cut Lonponprerry, who had snatched an hour from arduous duties at Dublin Castle to sit in Senate. Densy there, as usual without Joan. But Srrarnepen had brought CamPpsBeELt to recreate his t mind by taking a turn at Irish affairs. Sreatn- EDEN AND CamPpBEeLL—*‘ Siamese twins of /a haute politique” as Rosesery calls them—an audience of themselves. Sit by the hour with grave face looking into space. ‘‘If they hadn’t been born to share British Peerage,” said Gzonce Curzon, who is an authority on the subject of Peers, ‘‘ would have made a reputation as Chief of the Apaches, or any Indian tribe where a look of unutterable wisdom is qualification for leading position.” On the whole, rather a dull evening. Everybody intensely inte- rested, of course ; fate of app in balance, and all that sort of thing. Still, after first couple of hours, Members began, as it were, to fold their tent like the Arab, and as silently steal away. Just before Nine, House so empty, occurred to anonymous humorist (probably Joacut™) to try Count Out. That would have been funny to have Members summoned from ends of earth to attack or defend Ministry,

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| lobbies as men -dazed. PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. {Juny 7, 1888. and the sitting to end in Count Out. Joke spoiled by Members 1 in from dining-room, ‘* their mouths full of cabbageand contradiction,” | as Srpwer Surrn said of Hattam when he came upon him at a dinner-party. Later, Saunpenson got on. Made things more lively. Colonel been a nui- > sance all night to Members sitting near him with his sub- dued cries of ‘‘ Whirroo!” and his twirling a lead-pencil round in his fingers, as if it were a shillelagh. Couldn’t hold him in any longer. So, at Eleven o’Clock, took off his coat, st down on to floor before Irish Members, and for space of an hour walked up and down, trailing his coat : shouted at the Irishmen at top of his voice ; answered back with shrieks and yells. Quite a pity when mid- night struck, and Debate stood ad- journed. Business done. —VoteofCensure / moved. Wednesday, 1 A.M.—Over at last Division bell ringing; Mem- bers, recoverin ae Zz “ Whirroo !” from comatose state, staggering out into division What a night we've had to be sure! O’ Barren began it tae a hour long. Better have been fort minutes. But mercifully moderate com with what follow CHAPLIN, not to be outdone by Irish Member, spoke for over an hour ; then Giapsrows for an hour and forty minutes. Next thin end of the Gzpex modestly inserted during blank dinner-hour. Then Batrovr for two hours and ten minutes; and, finally, Sexton, for as long as House would listen to him. HARTINGTON spent miserable time for last forty-eight hours with speech laboriously prepared. Harcovrt sat on Front all night big with impromptus, packed to his boots with repartees. Wind Bag on scene perpetual smile of P ineffable scorn, his illimitable sg) waste of words. HartineTox and Harcovret mutually re- solved to sacrifice their speeches.' Sexton sure to on till morning. And he did. Pleased beyond measure with himself. at the charms three-quarters of an hour had slunk away. Went on with same irritating everlasti smile, pontine of scorn at unoffending Ory Moratiry, who had incautiously dropped in Chief Secretary's vacant seat. Speech of the evening decidedly O’Brten’s ; volcanic in its energy ; vitriolic in its bitterness ; irresis- tible in its marshalling of facts and arguments; bold and feli- citous in its illustrations. Pit the greater part of it was delive of deafness wi diate area. Gestures terrific, and imme- “ No gestures!” dangerous to personal safety of SS — sitting onenet. But conceived, inimita phrased, good eno com- remedial pone f ~~ | speech finel pensate for | “* Brin-go-Bragh !” cried Puowxet, momentarily falling into his | native tongue, in admiration of compatrict’s native eloquence. ‘Splendid! But reminds me of what Corrs said of GratrTay, that po ened fo somne Ge with his knuckles as he bowed in speak- . an thank ” he had no peculiari po oe usiness dona-Vehe of Conaue sejetiad by votes against 273. Wednesday Afternoon.—Doctor Grawpotrn, D.C.L., turned up. Sah bnca bade esndh caee Beemtoceniienlan tin, Eedcconpoetal at top of his voice, creating circle | wn. But same now as when he was General rd High Admiral Granpotpn, K.C.B. Modesty still his star. in quietly, possible, unobserved. 1 Tunnel Debate on. LADSTONE supported Second Reading of Bill. A little awkward that Doctor Granpo.ru should be Ider in concern. But in the way of logical difficulties never insuperable. When he be a share- holder was in private capacity. In opposing scheme in Commons he appears as a Statesman. GLapsTone takes other side. Delightful to see Dr. Granpoirn) gently shaking ferrule at Old Boy; laments his deficiency of ate la military and naval matters. On the whole not in bloodthirsty mood. Old Boy let off very gently. Early evid the Doctor’s new erudition displayed in lavish he ’d appear in cap and GRANDOLPH vc. , or idence of quotation. Taken a leaf out of Oty Mo- RALITY’s copybook. ‘‘ Let well alone,” ob- served the r just now, with look of superna’ wisdom. “‘ Better is the enemy of Good,”’ he added, by way of peroration. “Yes,” said Orp Moraurry, unusually moved by this audacious incursion on his copyhold, “and Imitation is the sincerest ttery.” Bill ‘Geeewn out by rattling majority. But Wartxrw not a bit disheartened. “Wonderful man!” said the G. O. M. °F Se Seo ince bee 8 Par yet. er Pierage course. sug- gest the title Lord Tawnet-CHUNNEL.” Business done.—Channel Tunnel Bill re- jected by 307 Votes against 165. Thursday.—Lively debate on Sunda Closing Clause of Government B Government propose to drop it. Harcourt, who might have slated Clause had Govern- ment stuck to it, now protests it is best part of the Bill. Can’t part with it on any account. Incidentally birches Carve. Ring immediately cleared. Heavy weights, about same height, and fairly matched. Conversa tion most t Lord Tannel-Chunnel. “Yah!” cries Hancovrt.—‘ Boo!” says Carve. “ long with yer Barrow!” says Harcourt. “*Unele Pumblechook,” roars Carne, who is a student of Punch. ‘* Where did you borrow your Latin grammar?” jeers Harcourt. ** Political lurcher!” cries Member for Barrow, and Harcourt retires with this brand of Canye red on his massive brow. Witrrm Lawson gave _— turn to debate by familiar Latin quotation. Turned out, to amusement of H that in this ILFRID’S strong point is quality not quantity. Timeo Danéaos et dona ferentes, was his way of putting it. , “The long and short of it is” said WitFRm, ans wp. “* That you put the long where the short ought to be,” said Brrce. But WItFRID not to be daunted. Immediately after dragged in another, even more ili ” “* Cave canem!” he said, looking at Carve. “That ’s Dog Latin, eh, Tony ?” said Henny James. Business done.—Li Clauses omitted from Local Government Bill. In this way wos gelding along quite nicely with the Bill. House of Lords, Friday.—Our Only Generai at it again. Wemyss made a back for him, with word lution raising question of National Defences. Our Only took it flying, jumping on GEORGIE Hamitton, whom he accused of making ‘‘ wild, extravagant, mis- leading statements on subject of vital importance to nation.” The Doox to the front again, apologising for having created scare, and explaining away his intentions. : ‘Fact is, Topy,” he said, when it was over, ‘‘it’s my personal appearance that’s against me. Can’t help looking warlike and fierce. y martial bearing strikes terror into casual observer. I must dis- semble.” Wemyss’s Motion utterly ignored in course debate. Nobody said word for it, or against it. So Lords, always, polite, made up for slight by accepting it. ag Business done.—Local Government Bill in Commons. ing into History Rerzats Itsetr, with variations,—as may be seen in the Wood y. Cox case, What will remain in men’s 1 long after other details of the trial have been forgotten will be the of PortiLann’s confidentially free-and-easy communication, which, like Lord Jomw Russext’s celebrated Epistle in the ‘* Papal Aggres- sion” time, will be known as ‘* The Letter.” : Tue Prusstan Dret.—German Sausages. % NOTICE.— Rejected Communications cr Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any dicerijtios, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped «nd Addressed Envelope, Cover, cr Wrappes To there will be no exception. this rule = , nn

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—Jouur 7, 1888. RICHD. MATHEWS & CO., «end 2%, MART &T., BLOOMSBURY, W.C., late of Albany 5t., N.W. Agents for India »—Cortsa, Pature, & Co. A tingle bottle, as a sample, will be sent post free to any address on receipt of P.O. for 4s. 64. COLD MEDAL, PARIS EXHIBITION, {876. KINAHAN’S -r2,x0« resem? LL Whiaxiae a WHISKY. THE PRIZE MEDAL, DUBLIN EXHIBITION, 1865. 80, GREAT TITCHFIELD STREET, LONDON, W. J. EXSHAW & GOS FIN, a... OLD BR T. Ww. Sesdeseun to me, a Street, W. QLD VINTAGE PORTS. 1861, 1863, 1865, 1868, 1870, 1872, &o. 8. JOHNSON & SONS, WATH-ON-DEARNE, FORKS. Est. 4.D. 1199 SWIFT’S SPECIFIC is entirely a Me gy = Preparation, containing no Mercury, Potash, Arsenic, or any poisonous sub- stance, and cleanses the out the impurities through the poupe et the skin. eds Klood Diseases, Skin Diseeses, and Mereurial Poisoning have been re- lieved by Swift's Specific. Mrs. Sanam Powzct, 39, Russell Street, Hyde Road, West Gorton, Manchester, writes :— “I suffered for many years with Cancer on my tongue, which came pear putting me in the grave. I took Swift's oa. and am now well—can walk and talk as well as any one. I owe everything to S.>.5. Lam ready to answer all questions.” 8.8.5.—Swift's Specific, sold by al! Chemists and Popes at ~—— roe ———— 4s, 64 id ottie; Dry, 2s. 64. age, on rece: of above price. Send for. Trealite on Blood ond Skin Diseases. Posted THE SWIFT SPECIFIC COMPANY, 3%, SNOW HILL, LONDON, E.C. of thousands of cases of Get a bettie to- ont of PERRY DAVI8’ PAIN KILLER, Bo Cater, Bast and most widely-knowna Family Medicine in World. It instantly Relieves and Cures Severe Scaids, Burns, Sprains, bruises, Toothache, Beodowe, sirgie an . = side, Joints, and Limbs, and al! eumatie Paine, Any Chemist can in + ifs at Sntena 29 per bottle. HOWARD BEDFORD SHEAF BINDERS. PETE] LACAN Y BRANDY DE JONG'S PURE DE JONG’S ICED COCOA OR CHOCOLATE. (PATENT 1887.) A New and wonderfully Refreshing, Delicious, and Invigorating Summer Drink, prepared in one minute from SOLUBLE COCOA. (THE “ACME” OF ALL PURE COCOAS,) 2-oz. Sample Tins free of charge, on application by letter, from the CHIEF DEPQT OF DE JONG’S COCOA, 6 and 7, COLEMAN STREET, LONDON, E.C. [ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.] BEST AND ESTABLISHED 1825. NEAVE'S FOOD FOR INFANTS, INVALIDS, AND THE AGED, CHEAPEST. THE PURE WHITE “GLYGERINE SOAP” Softens and Preserves the Skin and Complexion. WHIT & GROSSMITH, 2, SILK STREET, CITY, LONDON. ls. 64. Box of 3, at Chemists and Grocers, or direct. WEEDLES! WEEDLES! NEEDLES! MILWARDS’ CALYX - EYED KBATZ PATENT. Require no Thread ing, and sre del) Standard Makes , Thread without Thread- i s ‘work with. Mruwamne’ Pienery Needles are Mitwanps’ Krormrerep Ca» -3* best, sa 8 *Mirwanpe Peer Packer Cuvacn Baaxp mple Packets Free. WASHFORD MILLS, KEDDITCH. LEA & PERRINS’ SAUCE. rRRine™ revi ich are calculated to deceive the Lea a es te draw attention to the fact that each bottle of the Original and Genuine WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE bears their signature, thus— Le d4? : a t1¥ ped *.* Bold Wholesale Chosss & Desseweas’ Lenten and Mipest Ghens Retail by Dealers in the World. NUDA VERITAS HAIR RESTORER. ty-Two Years pany R. HOVENDEN & SONS, 31 and 32, , W., and 01-85, Crea Roan, BA... nee UMBRELLAS. S.FOXS C9 : Liman SAMUEL FOX & O©O., Limited, have added to their celebrated ‘frames amet | ee improvements (protected by Letters Patent), which give increased Stability and greater Neatness to the Umbrella. SAMUEL FOX & CO., Limited, manu- facture the Steel specially for all their frames, and are thus able t provide ex mal quality at a merely nominal price over inferior makes. C. BRANDAUER & CO.’S CIRCULAR POINTED PENS Write as smoothly as « lead pencil, end peither scratch — ‘odes b aby = Jo —-1. being Beven P iy F — pon eer etme Sample c. Brandauer * G9. ‘s Pen Works, “FOR THE BLOOD IS THE LIFE.” CLARKE ® == BLOOD MIXTURE. Is warranted to cleanse the blood from ai] op ol} impnriates, watever cause arising. For Serofu Diseases Lincels and Midlasd Ce., BEWARE OF WORTHLEsS IMITATIONS. S. & H. HARNESS COMPOSITION Warenrncor). SADDLE PASTE (Warenraoor ) Sold by all Gaddlers, Grocers, and Ircnmongers. Manufactory: 57, MANSELL STEEZT, HARRIS © FBONIT Wisenrnoor FR BEACEING, POLISHING PASTE. Fos Cisaxixe rg anp OLase. , LONDON, B. CONCENTRATED SOLUBLE FRY’S PURE COCOA “T consider it a very rich delicious Cocos.”—. B. B. STANLEY, M.D. BEST BLACK INK KNOWN. DRAPER'S INK (DICHROIC). Of all Stationers. LONDON DEPOT: HAYDEN & OCO., 10, Warwick Square, E.O. Manufacturers, BEWLEY & DRAPER, Ltd., Dudlia. " Sanitas ” (xiee") — eee ees pre CORPULENCE. All persons suflering from this burdensome and dan- serous cate of the body, ond oven these developing write at once for s treatise on Paes teaad een te ee Medical Electrician, The book valuable = ADVICE HOW, coca rock ormnsitons, pooenoms preparen, oe gerry. OBESITY I$ CURED, = gratis and post free on application to the MEDICAL BATTERY CO. Limited, aco STREET, Louvon, W. M°CALL’S PAYSANDU OX TONGUES. “DINNEFORD'S MAGNESIA. ov tae STOMACH, HEAKTSULN, MEADACHB, GOUT, and INDIO RSTION. 180, BOWD STREET, and al) Chemists. “are BEVOL a OOUrs FRO = only, cheers 50 used Ul over and lon tas y Price \e COLT'® FIREARMS Go. ,i4, Pall Mall, London 5. W. HOOEIE Roce ¥ Soles Acvets we Ap eres = SHANNON UAB

Page 16

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.—Jvuty 7, 1888.

MATTE, 7OUL DRAINS, ai , Gases, GASES, PUTEEFACTION, SEW EE “THIS BONNIE BOY HAS PUT THINSEL? OUTSIDE HIS OAS, be. RIDGE’S FOOD Axo rors store so Happy.” HEALTH and STRENGTH insured to Old and Young by the constant use of DR. RIDGE’S DELICIOUS COOKED FOOD. A speciality for Infants, Invalids, and the Aged. DISINFECTANTS.) 4. 5 —1xrssninwnm tumbler of cold spri FLUID, POWDER, water makes « dalicioas bevetage, is . AN D SO A P, very nourishing, and cures indigestion, }} EFFICACIOUS, HARMLESS, NECESSARY. im BO PRIZE Ask for OR. RIDGE’S Food. Take Evan once 33 MEDALS. Ff oo sy cuzurere asp onocens

Ch stmeahtors Rictneon, LecalGovern ment hoard, Leadon, 6 W., writes an aeve Come te the Pamphlet Post Free on Application. Goneclusion that it is the best disinfectant in uve Mawvvacronr: Al peep one qpemneaes 6 se- ‘ RIDGE’S ROYAL FOOD MILLS, ‘ BS London, ¥. JEVYES’ SAuttany COMPOUNDS ames. \ | - nase Foon, Lompon.” ARE STATED BY EMINENT 7 yl ae MEDICAL AUTHORITIES TO BE . - The TRUE GERMICIDE. The TRUE DISINFECTANTS. The TRUE ANTISEPTIC. The BEST, CHEAPEST, and SAFEST SSS od gpg ANTISEPTICS, DEO- . gy SOR ee lycerine iiss aEc “OMMERDED BY _ FACULTY JEYES’ DIGINFECT:NIS have the } used in a! the Royal Houscholds and Government Hetablishments, SOLD . PA RY WHERE In Bottles and Time, 64 and ie ¥ n , Bottios rit 1 04, ~- > a ds "> ad Vfl . ~ 2 Re tee =. airy) we states, LONDON z.C, Any sie ont free for 34. extra by the & le Maker, M. BEETHAM 1p SON A Lovely BATH and TOILET WATER will be cbtained by Using ; 99 “PASTA mack” | [)AKIN & COMPY.’S t ly Now and Excellent EEALTE-GIVING PREPALA- —* . re 7 SCTE: TEE WATER, gives ita most DELICIOUS ODITs, | a ind Mt aim ae. Se WORLD-RENOWNED rOULD PE IN EVERY BATH-ROOM AND BED- ROOM t apectable Chemists and Perfumers throughout the - TRADE MARK. « Sole Man afc turer and Inventor, BA. MACK Uims D. Whoie . _— / - c A | sale Agents for Gowat Britain : Ossonwe, Ganaerr & Co., London, W. REGISTERED TRADE MARK ae a ** They are cortaisly the best and most a we have ever worn.”"—Lamsp sawp Warzs, June 2 : : ; = 4 = AND

antages over all others in dsstinct a4va =: 3 ° , “4 ph me ont ior the Verticel for the Diagonal Sa : — Draught of the ordinary and other Patent = j Braces. Affords immense comfort to the wearer == ; by adapting itself readily to every movement of the ; A body in the most sim ple and comfortable manner r ; Ty" = revents the Compression of the ~sremne pha yew meter Stes ag mall E : T - | . : | —_ = wecrrerrerer retary (1) )\)ST IN < TE Shay CHEAPEST AND FREELY.

’ rosatree Company, 55, Eastcheap.—June 16, 1888.—Gentlemen,—We can highly AND mmen - your ‘ Crosstree Brace’ several members of our establishment having worn rm fro m the t ret. Our sale of the Brace is an increasing one, and our customers USTIN, ra - B yet satiafactorily of the comfort and freedom in the wearing. —Yours truly, AUS IN E S fTHERS, and BENNETT, Hosiers, Glovers, &c., 22, Walbrook, London, E.C.” SCIENCE APPLIED TO BRACES. roe anes 233 a c AUTION LADIE should avoid the Cheap Teas now bie time, and am much pleased with them.” . being sold as genuine, which are THE CROSSTREE BRACE is now simply the refuse of the Chinese markets, and are injurious and tasteless. Tailors, who find thesite ase TMPRON DAKIN & CO., Established 1844, is one of the *? , the ZIz end HOLD $ the ‘TROU- LARGEST TEA HOUSES IN THE WORLD, any other a 2:6 PAM and supply ONLY PURE TEAS, COFFEES, Badd yet‘ ioireduces the &c., of UNSURPASSED QUALITY, and wes pees GUARANTEE « DIRECT SAVING in PRICES. (Sit tain Hosters. Number One, St. Paul’s Churchyard, and Oxford Circus. N - SEND FOR PRICE LIST, and compare with what CROSSTREE co., ue are now paying. ALL SAMPLES POST FREE. 66, Zastcheap, London. Sees See, ee, Se” IDARIN J Offices and Warehouses, Carter Lane, B.C, Printed by William Stuart Smith, of No, @, Loraine Road, Holloway, in the Parish of #t. , lelington Offices of Mesers. Lay At Lombard Streer, ip the Precinct of Vetriars, in the City of London. and Publishe! by Pairs pris, of Lendon. —Satvapa oo,