Punch 1862-09-13: Vol 43 Iss 1105

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Published Every Saturday, Price 6d., In large Folio, 194. Gi. cloth, balf law calf, 170., Vol. I. of (Jan. 1 to June 28.) COMPLETE LEGAL AND COMMERCIAL RECORD OF BANKRUPTCY. Reports, Particulars, Balance Sheets, &c., of every Bankruptcy, with Complete m THE ARMY AND NAVY GAZETTE. | THE GAZETTE OF BANKRUPTCY. EDITED BY W. H. RUSSELL, ESQ., LLD { *,* Articles on American Affairs Appear Every Week. ; Office : 16, Wellington Street, Strand ; Classified Index. Chief Office, 26, Bell Yard, Lincoln's Inn, W.C., ., the District Offices, and all Booksellers. aghout ym that tion of re vious which ‘urnish tantic! fi4' vey am PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY. VOLUME THE FORTY-THIRD., S SEPTEMBER 13, rit ne ’ AMG it \) hilt Le ye —_o— Bn —s -~ 3 é ’ . s iZa\ a ‘pe pedemg SONSdDSIBVHI BOlNd s J i x " bir —-—* nnd way t=. ll ne a te SE a SOS a Vay” 5 ey Fa oe é » f . Fy - LA AND SOLD BY ALL BOCRSELASRS. HANDBOOK TO THE PICTURES Hoof and HOW jo CRTCH THEM. IN THE INTERNATIONAL EXHIBITION. Br TOM TAYLOR, M.A. Price Is, “PUNCH OFFICE, 85, FLEET STREET, 7 ule, whee “auly prepared. Oi tar bart, the art of —— liee, aad J ieepaln a donanotaagn by @ractng oF diagram ” Baapsvny amp Evans, 11, Bouverie Street, Fleet Street, E.C. bbskbub> o>) Bvare, li, Bouverie terest, t, Fleet Street, EO. Scteneeemeneel ~ nS: SPO LEIS : Pe ee pew sage gst hag + edecmaprepiamemamencie florian» ~--venpmomanene segtilerst ned

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THREE HUNDRED BIBLE STORIES, with nearly 300 Bible Pic tores, « Pietortal Sundey Book for the band comely bound, Price 4s. 64., originally publi at ». Sent t free from Prece’s Great Bible Ware. house, 65 yonder Quadrant. Every family should have this pretty book A GUINEA FAMILY BIBLE FOR 10¢.—Jonw Fie tp has now a handsome Family Bible, with Notes, tens | ») Engravings, and 10 Maps, bound in ry style, for 10s, published at Tis. A beautiful gift only to be bed at Jons Preuo’s Great Bible Ware- ease, 6, Regent's Quadrant. 50 000 BIBLEs, PRAYER- . BOOKS, and CHURCH SERVICES, Altars, Juveniie Books, and Standard Anthors, on Saie, in every variety of binding, at Joun Frace’s Great Bible Warehouse, 65, Regent's Quadrant WEDDING STATIONERY 50 SAMPLES POST FREE PARKINS & GOTTO 25 OXFORD ST owpon Goldemiths and Jewellera, respectfully ovite the notice of the Nobility, &e., to their New Re ork ( Elegant Jewellery wery article in the possible taste, and at m prices. dety of novelties specially nrg 8 na Wedding enire Diem ynds rearranged, ly. New Bond Street, corner of Clifford Seep. Interna- wal Ext ibirion, 182, Price Medal for Diamond York, Jewellery, Silver Plate, and general Good aste ] ‘ simag : Sy . Jd © ‘ a j = ii = e 3 a m a “a , ™ B. JOSEPH & COMPANY. 150, REGENT STREET. CLARE'S _MEURALGIOC TINCTU RAE, a certai: TOOTH for NEURALGIA, "Tic. DOUL! REU ACHE, and AGUE.—Cusan, Eating. Lospun hemists, Price Deror, 67 A Paul's, Sold by all © Se. Odt., 40 Reterenee The fn. ‘om FP. Gons Ovestar, Bart. A. Mus. Bae gv plegop D RESSING E _ $ GENTLEMEN {eguetere. _ i: ¢LADI “Get ROYALO! 0s B BOR EM Unser od teen ak — Som & Coe te bad LEB outa VIOLET} POW DER FOR SKIN af 6d.—Liquid Rouge, a enmanae ‘teal eer ow sof cent and permaemt, Ss Face Powder, ~ ona Pearl Powder, %. 64. Milk of Roses. H eit New Boud Street. C ArtAT Bone SARE 8 Mt LLIGATAWNY “s_S wry Sacce, may My 4 Vou dors, and Tecleunle of Peet re & bison. Parveyors to the Queen, Soho Square . Leadon. HoLLoway 8 OINTMENT AND LLS are noted for curing Dropey and Woe Enlercements. They effect a perfect cure wi hout any detriment to tbe p —~ be tory or pervous wyeene’ ALT and Co’s EAST INDIA SALT Ae, a BASE ERIS becties of reputed and im; of & ones ty upwards. aie and’ Browt's expressly —M Agents Lime Street, E. ¢ we 4 poor PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL—Sepremper 13, 1862. NO MORE PILLS OR OTHER MEDICINES FOR OLD OR YOUNG. “ We find the safest remedy in DU BARRY’S delicious health- restoring REVALENTA ARABICA FOOD For Habitual Constipation, Dyspepsia (Indigestion), Palpitation, Acidity, Nausea, Consumption. Coughs, Colds, Asthma, Bronchitis, Hemorrhoids, Nervousness, Biliousness, Torpidity of the Liver, Debility, &c.”"—Andrew Ure, M.D., F.R.8.; Dr. Harvey, Dr. Shoriand, Dr. Campbell Weextract a few out of 58,000 Cures :—Cure No. 58, 216 ofthe Marchioness de ‘Bréhan, Paris, 17th April, 1862.—** In consequence of a liver complaint, | was wasting away for seven years, and so debilitated and nervous that I was unable to rend, write, or in fact attend to anything, with a nervous palpitation all over, bad digestion, and the most intolerable nervous agitation which prevented even my sit boom for hours together. The noises of the street, and even the voice of my maid, anno me. I felt dreadfully low spirited, and all intercourse with the world had become painful to me. Many medical men, Baglich as well as French, had prescribed for me in vain. In despair I took to Dv Barry's Revalenta Arabica, and lived on this delicious Pood for three months. The good God be praised; it has completely revived me, I am m pent egnin, and able to make and receive visita and resume my accial position. Accept, Sir, t ation.—MARcHIONESS DE Batuax.” Oure, No. 1,771. Lord Stuart de Decies, of many qo er a 40,882. “ Fifty ibable from 4d nervousness, asthma, cough. constipation, mp eg # vomiting. Marla Joly.”—Oure, No. 56,816. Pield-Marsaal the Duke ot nskow, of 4 nervo and liver complaints.—OCure, No. 47,121. Miss Elizabeth Jacobs, of extreme nervousness, indigestion, low spirits, and nervons faneies.—Cure, No. 54,816. The Rev. James T. Campbell, Fakenham, Norfolk, “ of indigestion and torpidity of the liver, which had resisted all medical treatment ; inquiries will be cheer- fully answered.” In tina, 1 ib., 22, Od. ; 2 Ib., 4s. 6d. ; 5S Ib., 11s. ; 121b., 22s. ‘*7 refined quality, 10 Ib., 888,— Barny Dr Barry & Oo., No. 77, Regent Street, London: 26, Place Vendéme, Paris; 12, Rue de I Empereur, ‘Brussels _ Also Fortyum & Mason, Purveyors to ) Her Majesty. 'T, A, SIMPSON & Co., GOLDSMITHS, SILVERSMITHS, JEWELLERS, WATCH & CLOCK uandpaCPUREns, AND IMPORTERS OF EVERY DESCRIPTION OF FANCY NOVELTIES. 154, Regent Street, & 8, Beak Street, and Paris, Rue de Rivoli, assurance of my deepest gratitude and of my highest consider- ESSRS. T. A. SIMPSON & Co —_ re epoch ¢ to call attention to their ele tand exten- sive Show Rooms at 154. Reoewrr Srrever, and 8, Beak Srreer, containing the most choles and beautiful Assortment of Novelties in Fancy Goods, as well as Articles of Utility of woes and Pereien Manufacture, both valuable and inexpensive, for presentation, farming in " selves an exhibition far exceeding any display of the kind in this country Messas T. A. Stursow &Co., in soliciting the honour of an inspection of their extensive Stock and magnificent Premises, beg to assure all who may favour them with a visit, that they will meet with a polite reception, whether Purchasers or otherwise; and they desire to intimate that it will with them an invariable rule to exchange any. articles purchased at thelr Retablishment which may not be approved. SUMMER DIET. Its uses are :— PUDDINGS, CUSTARDS, BLANCMANGE, CAK8&S, &c., And for ight-eupper or breakfast, abd especially suited to the Gélicacy of Thildren and Invalids: for all the tiscs of Arrowroot—to the very best of which it is preferred—it is prepared in the usual way. PATENT CORN FLOUR. MANUFACTURERS AND PURVEYORS TO HER MAJESTY: Paisley, Manchester, Dublin, and London. BENSON’S WATCHES. ‘* Perfection of Mechanism.”—Morning Post. GOLD 5 to 100 Gs.: SILVER 2 to 60 Gs. Send Two Stamps for Bewson’s Illustrated Pamphlet, descriptive of every construction of Watch now made, with Watches sent to all parts of the Kingdom free by Post, or to India and the Colonies for Sa, extra. 83 & 84, LUDGATE HILL, anp 46 & 47, CORNHILL, LONDON, #6, Established 1749. GLENFIELD PATENT DOUBLE-REFINED POWDER STARCH. EXCLUSIVELY USED IN HER MAJESTY’S LAUNDRY, AND PRONOUNCED BY HER MAJESTY'S LAUNDRESS TO BE THE FINEST STARCH SHE EVER USED. The great and ever increasing demand for this world-renowned Starch, is the best proof of its ay over every other kind. THE GLENFIELD PATENT STARCH, which is adapted all classes—from Her Majesty downwards—possesses, in an eminent de; the following :—Great Strength combined with Great Elasticity; Purity of lour and Pearly cy. It does not impart the yellow tinge to Fabrics which other Starches do, but has on the contrary, the eflect of keeping them Clear in Colour and Strong in Texture.. The Manufacturers , ry no hesitation in affirming that the Glentield Patent Starch is the Most Perfect, and, at the e sare me time, the Most Economical ; and if there be any who have not done both J. LE ARPETS. - FOR TEN THOUSAND PIECES RICH BRUsery, 2a. Ad. to Be. 114 yer VELVET AND TU ae Pcditvens, rear Eatrance 145, Tottenham Court Road DOING. AND. DRAWN SCENT. 16578 NEW BOND ST PRICE 2/6’ COGELE'S ....! 8 ANTIBILIO0§ a, bile, sick bead ac acidi' hem ey Frepares only by Jamae » Cpeaae ik New'o Oranl reet, Leodon, an. oe 5 dora, in boxes at ls lbd,, 24. O4., 40 Ad. and tin H. H THE pur’ PCEROY'S s yt te ay 1 8 i tee a Bers City Sperm, ia ta. per Bishopsgate Street Within, London. Conrasctons ro H. M. Boanp or Wonrs for promotor |} the Humes ‘ mn bf ROWLANDS’ MACASSAR 0 | Bg Beauti IWLANDS’ KALYDOR for Improvins wi the Complexion and Skin, an¢ ini , or Pearl Dentifrice, & ‘oboNTo ys ae and by Chemists a Merit RIT ACKNOWLEDGED! Ineeanationay Exaratrroy, 19. Pi URORS OF CLASS IIL after a searching seri~s of aa a mize Mi! LME DAL. for the “ Purity 1 WOTHERSPOOT of which RNITURE RItaGe FREE S BEYFUS OXFORD TREET “Halt getting |supe ained of oy he overs aio the lace tes tet uk amber Movih Past 2s. post free 2d. Bosa’ Ger %, Wholesale Warehouse, 290, High Siolbors. PRIGE MEDAL, PARIS EXHIBITION. = | METCALFE, BINGLI! & Co.'s Now Fettern Toot h Brushet, } AMES LEWIS'S INTERNATION AL BOUQUET. EASTERN ANNEXE, E. EXHIBITION. _ THE L CONSTANT COMPAN!ON is the most us-fis! arte of the day, ane one ot she most Graceful and rae Ja} that can adorn the female ficure ded to GIVE IT ONE PAIR TRIAL, and they will find it to the future to Use No Other — are Master Madeand Ramer Queens other, and, like the Queen's L WOTHERSPOON & OCo., Glasgow and London. Pull particulars by on annie Galle te Gunve Gee 138, Pantheoa, sot, The Trade supplied on liberal terms

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Serrempern 13, 1862.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. | 105 | investment, on the part of the drunkard, in the A PARLIAMENT OF PUMPS. | Stocks. Drunken persons ought not to be E observe that at a meet-| treated as lunatics when they get sober, and ing of the officious noodles | Whilst they are drunk they are liable to get shut constituting the Interna. |¥P 9 it is (as Mr. Punch has elsewhere recom- tional Temperance and mended that they should be). It is not only Prohibition Conferenee, | Co™sistent with British law, but it is a British assembled at the Hanover | /@w-maxim, that drunkenness is no excuse for a Square Rooms, im the| ¢time, but aggravates the offence. A very im- course of the much | becile person, who talks idiotic twaddle, ought ing by which those y to be taken care of equally with a sot affected busybodies exposed their with delirium tremens. Thou art answered, Fiaa, folly, the following according to thy figgery. A jico for thee, Fiaa! cially remarkable akeee. The Rev. F. Bisvor, porting of the Maine dities were uttered, Ac-| Law in Yankeedom, said that :— — to in @ 2 on oe Servwitr He attended a s military . w sentiments were spoke paper by the Daas op Cam-| oo without wine being drunk. and all the ofhoors aeveu the 1 fone > Of | bied at breakfast next morning free from headache ” gested hy ae Wonderful! Does Ma. Bisuor imagine that Commons ia which officers are generally accustomed to get drunk at was read by the Rey, | military festivals overnight, and come down to Canon JENKING = breakfast with a headache next morning? And are total abstainers never troubled with head- “ The dean onbe ed Gaewes aches —even after having listened to a long speech . made by a simpleton ? existed in 1834." A dreadful witticism was perpetrated by Considering fhe | nolo- - nahn bs I . ll FF the disf hi t of . e - te i) ¢ distranc ent oF rious decrease of drunken. puldicans, which ceatuakeined their cibenie, Gn h it ness which has taken place | was intended to terminate. (Laughier.)” during the last eight and- " twenty years, Dean Crose evinced little judgment in asserting that time had ex the |, Mn. Gat apparently proposes to terminate reasons for legislation on the liquor trade. The less Ciose says about exaggeration of those | ‘he existence of the publicans by starvation. reasons the better. Time tells only the truth. We also read that :— Ag~: vg" didst _ gems had no po ° “ ree an al ae art, iD ee , Khe very gall ot bitterness! how nenteedo of Lae at iaaitcamtocen eoitd ob: 0 osntiaamas ot eetrtolive os — he —, Gat, art answered according to thy | quatity. After the inanities above quoted, we are happy to present our readers with a bit of fun, related oo a = OA ye = i jena caliaal AES mento ninco ities ban aera rs one nae, — right of reproduction will be disposed of tely. On view at Paris, at the He says that he is cmnghationlly for union, and that he would retain or destroy ——, 11, from 1 till 9 o'clock every day, except Sunday Monday and § slavery wholly or in part if union could be obtained by cither means.” | Thursday will be reserved for those who, wishing to see the picture at leisure, but ~~ , ; | without exceeding half an hour, will pay five francs for admission. Tas is what Lixcoty writes to Horace, | We advise, therefore, all those who have 10,000,000 frances to spare, mag oe 2 oped for us, | not to lose a moment’s time, but to make an offer at once. He who For the North bas *vabg alte contee bissin comes first will have the honour of being knocked down first. If the Reine puneitnk daca ee a second bidder were to make an advance of one, or two millions, his | 4 te a pak my ph 6 offer would be indignantly rejected. The “competition” to possess In tnt Anes. Stateny Woe | it is already so great, that if you hesitate one tidal train, the picture : _ may be for ever snatched from you. So attractive are its charms, that poe a | you are not allowed to admire it for more than half an hour at a time. /T — one eestatic minute longer, and you are infallibly charged an extra Bruin at Large. | five franes. If we hadn’t been to Paris already cight times this year, " F ; /' t we pom omy re without waiting to kiss the children vf Ty a list of fashionable intelligence we meet with the announcemen Say good-bye to ; y to see the chef d’auore. It is true that OPP, : 1 i Moss. Pau pg Sart Victor says that the picture in question is not | ane Tseemmeey hee leet Canmore Matet fr Gommeng. | worth 40 france, bas then Mons. Pavu is an art-critic who does not} Left Cranrper’s Hotel, hashe? We thought that Menscurxors understand anything sbout it. It is very clear that he hasn’t ten| had been staying in the Zuological Gardens. millions of francs and, therefore, in his rage at not being able | to possess the im treasure, he does his shabbiest to depreciate it. It is the usual spite of the world. In our opinion, we have not the 4 MATERIAL DISTINCTION. slightest doubt that this high! -priced tableau is in fact priceless—that| Busnress and occupation are not synonymons terms. The French it 1s par emeellence one those master-pieces that no money can | persist in the cecupation of Rome; but they have no business there. | VOL, XLII, x

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~~. y 2 | 106 PUNCH, OR THE ii] > H | » 4 ' — AB |) oy LoS AR p— — If yay A ean 5 | ‘ } } \ ‘ Poa f A VENERABLE BANKRUPT. “Dear Mr. Ponca “As you are always ready to defend those who are wronged, L | beg to submit my case for your consideration. “T have had the misfortune to become a bankrupt, and a brief report of the circumstances appeared in the newspapers. I subjoin the material part of that report :— * The bankrupt, a young man, had spent nine thousand pounds in about as many months. The creditors consisted of bosiers, jewellers, publicans, bill discounters, and others. No person appeared to oppose, and the examination was passed.” “ Just so, Sir, and I think it would have been very hard had any one opposed, I do not dispute the accuracy of the statement that I spent nine thousand pounds in about as many months, but I contend that this cannot be called an extravagant expenditure. Nine thousand months, Sir, as I need not tell you, make seven hundred and fifty years, | an‘ I respectfully submit that taking mto account the disturbed ages in which I have lived, and the various calls which the necessities of those times made upon me, I have not been wanton or careless in my outlay. I was born, as # slight calculation founded upon the above statement im the papers will show you, in the year 1112, but it is unfair to charge me with spending much money while very young. My first serious out- lay was for a very handsome suit of clothes in which I attended the coronation of the Empress Maup at Winchester in March 1141, and if I flatter myself that I cut rather a brilliant figure upon that interestin oceasion, such vanity may be pardoned in a springald. I gave a oui deal of money towards the shrine of Becxert, after the very unpleasant occurrence in Canterbury Cathedral, and [ contributed rather largely to the £400,000 raised to ransom King Ricwagp Tue LIoNHeaRTeED, and the man who would refuse to stretch forth his hand to rescue a virtuous —well—a valiant king (vir¢us has both meanings) in distress is un- worthy the name of a med‘eval buffer. I was a good deal victimised during the Wars of the Roses, and [ sent Krye Rionanp tax Turrp, who was a very fine fellow, and has been much misrepresented, a hand- some present, in order to show my disbelief in the ridiculous story, set about by the papers of the period, that he had polished off his LONDON CHARIVARI. We Fatiovep Swett. ‘‘ Confound these Pict-chars—so many of 'em. Tell you what, you go | natures are kept apart, the more likely they are to remain down one side of the Gallerwy, and I the other ; we'll get through ’em that way.” nephews. I went to the Fie! of the Cloth of Gold, and I need not say — (Serremser 13, 1862{° Row, soldiers, run, but not away, Oh no, my gallant men ! You run to turn another day. And charge the stronger then. Strategic movement, not stampede, This retrogression style, Because we are, as we recede, Advancing all the while. The fiery comet rolls, on path Elliptic, through the sky ; So we pursue our course of wrath : | MCLELLAN’S MARCH. | Like blazing stars we fly, And still shall fly till we come back As fast as now we go, And scatter, in our burning track, Destruction death and woe. On, then, ye Warriors of the North! Off, in your onset, mind, With all the speed you can put forth, And leave the South behind. Back! that is Forward! on your foes, o To a oo own turned out, \ ur yoke that you may reimpose : \\ Face—to the right-about ! | SECOND THOUGHTS ARE BEST. | Ir was the intention of the Comet, when it originally | started on its holiday trip, to have paid a flying visit to the | Rarth, but it became, on the very first glimpse it caught | of this terrestrial globe, so dissatisfied with what it beheld, | | that it immediately turned tail, and is now hurrying away in | an opposite direction as fast as it can. Far from regret- | ting this estrangement, we are delighted to notice this | increasing coolness on the part of the Comet; for we are | confident if the Earth and its fiery friend were ever to meet, | that either one or the o!her would be sure to suffer dread- | fully from the consequences, It is peculiarly one of those |eases in which the farther two of quite contrary | friends. that for the honour of England I shelled out the tin on that festive occasion, and I had to pay rather vigorously when Queen Bess wanted money to fight the Spaniards. I paid away money a good deal during the Civil Wars, and Kise Cuarces Taz Seconp borrowed a lot of me, which I need hardly tell you I never saw again. I own to having been done in the South Sea Bubble, but we all make mistakes sometimes, and I atoned for my fault by subscribing liberally to the defence of England against the Pastander. I could not, I put it to you, stay away from the coronation of Georce THE THIRD, and prices were high in those days, and I had my pocket picked in the No Popery riots of 1780. I suffered also by the commercial embarrassments of 1810, and by some of the companies, especially one for importing quicksilver from the planet Mercury, in 1825, and this brings me on to the present time, when I have also had my troubles. . : “Now, Sir, I do not think that nine thousand pounds in seven hundred and fifty years is a very large sum for a man who has lived in d society to spend, and I think that the Commissioner might have ismissed me with a slight compliment. However, I rely upon you to do me justice, and am, Sir, “‘ Your obedient Servant, “Tue Bayxkrurt my Question.” A Lesson to Auctioneers. At the Mansion-House, one day last week, Wruttam BRacCkur®, an Auctioneer, was charged with an assault on a Mr. Taomson, which con- sisted in hitting the complainant a violent blow on the mouth. Defendant pleaded guilty, and was fined 40s. and costs. Serve him right, Aue- tioneers must be taught not to knock people down. “4 HEAVY BLOW, AND GREAT DISCOURAGEMENT.” It seems very strange that at the present moment, in America, when are experiencing the greatest difficulty in raising the wind, that every one should be rushing away as fast as he can “ to get out of the draft. Aw Eyoravine sy Doo.—A forged bank-note.

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Pars 328 } } | Sepremser 13, 1862.) = BEHIND Her, Sue wo _PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL ak REPOSE. Yes! Bur wk aRE SURE THAT If ELLEN KNEW wHaT a Ficure Freperick mape or HER BY SPRAWLING ABOUT ON THE CLIFF JU8T ULDN’T BE so Quiet. | A FEDERAL TRIUMPH. A Feperat warrior writes the New York Commercial a \etter con- taining the following account of an explvit in which he assisted at Donaldsonville on the Mississippi :— “ Captamm Broome, with the marines of the Hart/ord, landed, and immediately proceeded in search of one Puitip Lawpray, a noted guerilla captain, and a very desperate character. We came upon him as he entered the lane leading to his house, before he had time to gallop out of the gate, and as his horse could not jump the fence, he left his horse saddled and bridled, also his sword, all of which we captured.” What, all? That was a seizure indeed for the marines of the Hart- ford, with Captaixy Boome at their head! It appears by the fore- gving account, that they not only took the borse of the guerilla Captain, saddled and bridled, but likewise the whole of his sword. What a quantity of plunder! Having accomplished this wonderful capture, our hero tells us :— “ We then proceeded to his house, which was handsomely furnished ; we burned his house, furniture, stables, outhouses, and sugar refimery valued at $100,000. While engeged in burning his property, a party of guerillas fired upon us from the distance bushes, but at too great a to do any damage. We suppose they imme- diately ran off, as we could find nothing of them afterwards.” Is it possible that these warriors would have run off too if one or two of them had been shot by Carrauy Lanpaar’s guerillas “ while engaged in burning his property ? ” The gallant fellow says in conclusion :— “* We burned, besides, some 24 houses, including hotels, saw-mills, &c., destroying over half a million dollars’ worth of property, and returned to the fleet without There is or was a political section of Americans rejoicing in the name of Barnburners. Perhaps this party has taken military service the Federal Government, and the author of the above-quoted tale of arson practised on private houses as & warlike operation, and his com- rades, together with their leader, Cartas Broome, belong to the corps, which has been draughted into the marines of the Hartford. There is & genuine Yankeeism in the unconsciousness of a ludicrous self-expusure ! . ° _ : " remarkable in his description of the manceuvres carried out against under | (constructed on the principle of the Bears’ den at the Zoulogical “Puiuir Laypray, a noted guerilla chicfiain and a very desperate character.” ‘The narrative evinces partly the self-complacency of a man relating his share in a pleasiug and meritorious trausuction, and partly the gust with which a felon details his crimes. With what a relish, having described himself aud his companious as having “captured” Captain Lanpkay’s sword, he goes on to say, “ We then proceeded to his house, which was bandsumely furnished,”—evidently gloating on the value of the furniture they destroyed—“ we burned his house, furniture, stables, outhouses, and sugar refinery, valued at $100,000!” How keen is the enjoyment with which he dwelis on the injury which they inflicted on the Confederate officer, “ while eugaged in burning his property,” and with which he mentions that they burned numerous other houses and places of business, “destroying over half a million dollars’ worth of property!” What a notion of having been concerned in a glorious exploit is obvious in his boust that they all “ returned to the fleet with- out losing a man!” their enterprise against an enemy imeapable of resistance, remindiog us of the victurious assault commemorated in a couplet quoted by Cosserr :— “ Pather and mother and I, with a chosen band, Beat « poor little boy till be couldn t go or stand.” | Just such a triumph, apparently, was that which the incendiaries of | Donaldsunville have to brag of, aud wluch is glorified, as abuve, by one of the gang. Another Discovery in London. So, the wonderful Cavity behind St. Paul’s, that mystery which has so long puzzled the world, is at last comprehensible. It is not a pit ) in which aldermen are kept, and taught to climb up a pole, \and take bits of green fat from the end of sticks. A proclamation, ‘rendering the eye-sore still more hideous, now extends across it, and | announces—“ Beer be'ow.” Henceforth, therefore, let the hitherto | anonymous Hole be known by the name of the Kung-lole.

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| had opportunities of ascertaining, mr a abominable. 108 REPORT ON HASTINGS. BY OUR OWN SPECIAL COMMISSIONER. O tae How. Mr. Puncn. “ Srm,—l. You having g) commissioned me to visit f HA rites) this ancient and celebrated ~~ Cing Port, and to report upon its general condition with mention of any special circumstances which might seem to me desirable * to make such follows :— “9. I number my para- graphs, as usual in official despatches, and for more convenient reference. “3. For reasons inex- plicable to myself, you report, as my ordinary rule of select- ing as my quarters the most distinguished Hotel in the place, and of affording its - proprietary every oppor- tunity for displaying its re- sources, and you instructed me to take lodgings aud live quietly. Repulsive to my own feelings and habits as was such a course, I have not hesitated to abey, for reasons that will occur to yourself or your respected cashier. “4 There were no lodgings to be obtained on my arrival in Hastings, it towards nightfall 1 watched a family out of a house, and [ rushed n before any other candidate could arrive, I secured a back parlour aud a closet, which it would be flattery to eall a bed-room, for two guineas apd a half a week, kitchen fire, shoe-cleauing, gas, and most other things of course extra. I could have lived more cheaply at an hotel, mais tu l’as voulu, M. Punch. “5. There are six families in the house, and they all insist on taking their separate meals at the same hour, ‘There are eleven children in all, from ahobbedyhoy with clumping boots and a heavy voice to a baby whose iucessaut shrieks indicate rather a very bad disposition or a totally indifferent nurse. They begin to get up at six, after which there is no peace. 1 mention this martyrdom among the special circumstances referred to in Paragraph “6. The cigars sold to visitors in Hastings are, so far as I have yet Whether the have better ones for the residents | know not, but I have not allowed price to stand between me and decent tobacco, as you may be aware it was not likely 1 should do. I am exceedingly unwell in consequence of this local peculiarity. 7. L think I have never seen so many pretty girls in any given watering-place as are now in Hastings. That I can appreciate this fact, under the moral disadvantages implied in the paragraph No. 6, may I think be taken in proof of my impartiality as well as of my accuracy. They mostly wear hats, have lovely hair (much golden hair is visible) but the new sea-side jacket of blue with its little brass buttons is not much worn, save by those who have few other attractions. “ 8. This is a place rather for aristocratic sorts of people than for common holiday makers. This statement is not my own, but was tendered to me by my landlady in return for my complaint that several articles were about twice as dear here as at Brighton. I was instantly silenced, or rather convinced, and I replied, ‘ O, of course, we don’t care what we pay, aw, but we like the best of heverythink,’ a sentiment which obtained that lady’s adwiration. “9. The Local Board of Health is said to have done a good deal for the Drainage, which used to be outrageously bad. There are awfully fishy vendors odours in Hastings proper, and there is a vast pipe in front of Hastings | elegant, and I hope it is all right, but I have not ventured near. I detect nothing objectionable in the general atmosphere. The Board has painted its name in large letters on the backs of all the seats along the sea— seats may have no obvious connection with a Board of Health, but the dodge is a good one, as it perpetually reminds visitors that there is a Body watching over the sanatory condition of the place. “10. The boatmen are not very troublesome, and if you make a tolerably loud and abusive answer to one tout, the others will let you ilove. You are not much annoyed by the vendors of shells and pin- cushions: L suppose they find it hopeless to bother us, the aristocratic surts of people. The bathing machines are very bad, but the curators thereof are extremely ewil, Deeorum of all kinds is strictly enforced, i CuLtrast LO must wWalering-places. of notice, | have the honour | desired me to depart from | PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL — | | we speak of Captain So-und-So and ; his Wife. It will next be Captain S~and-So and bis Ally, and ultifyately “ Me and my Ally” instead of “ My Wife and I,” or “ 1 and myfilusband” will rally prone to ape their superiors, this foolish word will soon come to [Serremezr 13, 1862, “11. The hired carriages are very good, indeed. Most of the drivers have red faces. The turnpikes are numerous, and the roads are, on the other hand, badly made and badly kept. Perhaps, if the pikes were done away, the roads might be better. They could hardly be worse. “12. The Dripping Well scarcely drips, and Old Roar doesn’t roar. Both are humbugs, but the scenes in which they are placed are pretty. The Lovers’ Seat is connected with the dullest and stupidest common- lace story of an elopement, but the view is an out-and-outer. “13, The Hastings Guide Book is the worst I ever bought. It is padded out with antiquarian rubbish, and the careful detail and advice which alone make a guide book worth having is absent. But the con- coctor may have purposely left it, unex ry, in the interest of flymen, biped guides, and the like, in which case I admire him as a man of Hastings, while I object to him as a man of letters. “14 The Volunteers work very gallantly, ard have the most de- lightful shooting piace. To lie on the hill-side, near the sea, and look at them, makes one feel quite ardent in the cause of patriotism, and the more so when one has a good weed, nted by an officer, from his Loudon remnant. I believe that if the battle of Hastings to be fought over again, the Volunteers would do better service than the old Archers, and then, when the order came for an advance with the Bills, wouldn’t the lodging-house keepers make the foeman mi “15. The Cireulating Library pespens are excessively obl and get the new books and let you have at the shortest notice. ey do not seem to think it a favour te let you have a book, and they do not insult you for expressing an unfav any upon one whieh they may place in your hands. In a word, they know their business. Con- sequently, there is great reading in Hastings. I saw one of my own works, though by no means Pi finest, in the hands of eight very handsome ladies. [? Hditor of P. Tastings, and letters from Hiastings e “ 16. Dover is within sight of to Dover are sent round by London, so that you get am_auswer on the | third day. I don’t know that it much matters, as nobody can be in a a | to hear from Dover, but I mention it as a curiosity of the post. “17. 1 am happy to say that there are no public amusements here, except throwing stones into the sea, so that I am spared the necessity of puffing provincial abilities or London intolerabilities. “18. The cigars are abominabie, but the girls are very pretty. “ T have the honour, &c. ** Bohemia, Hastings.” “ PereGcRinE Fatcon.” GARIBALDI DOWN. Aas! the love of Italy lies bleeding, But not in vain; his wounds are mouths, that speak, With an ungenerous Patron strongly pleading, The stronger that the Prisoner’s voice is weak. He fell, a forlorn hope of patriots leading, Whose cry for Rome had fallen on ears unheeding. How long! And must they Rome still longer seek ? A hero’s venture, not a madman’s freak, The world had named h's high attempt, sueceeding. It has not failed, a captive though he lies, If niggard France relent. Napoieoy, hear The noble blood that out upon thee cries, And thy base policy, which right denies To Italy, if not thy baser fear. SUFFERING AND SYMPATHY. Tuere is, in Galignani, an account of an accident which happened near Brussels to a foreign nobleman, who was riding in his carriage, when his horses took fright at the discharge of some firearms, ran away with him; whereupon, says Galignani :— * The count jumped out, but being struck by the wheel, he ie isleaie to the ground, breaking one of his legs and receiving other injury. how- ever, does not inspire any uneasiness.” Doesn’t it? The condition of a man laid up with a broken leg, not to mention any other injury, may not imspire any uneasiness, but must, one would think, involve not a little. The Progress of Slang. A Marriace in high life is called an alliance. People being gene- sequence will be, that a married couple will be called be applied to marriages in middle life one low life. he meneeines con- hie Lady instead f —— be a customary form of speech amongst the lower 5

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GARIBALDI SURRENDERS PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL—Seprexser 13, 1862. HIS SWORD.

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Paerree ae ore en —— SSS coma a ee ee ee Sys a ~ oc aciraaceaiperainiaa a ig aca —~ ——— amen aa -— ———

“NOT UP TO TIME;” | Or, Interference would be _very Welcome.

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gs a .

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t | How came you to run away from Paris without seeing me? } i | | made his attempt, is defeated, and is a wounded prisoner. GePTeMBER 13, 1862.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. AWFUL SCENE AT BIARRITZ. The Max ov Strence has gust entered his dressing-room near the sea. The door of the apartment is violently burst open, and enter to him the Maw oF Fixer Sraeer. Mr. Punch. 1 say. Come! The Emperor. Come where, my friend, and would you shut that door, as there is no end of a draught? Mr. P. You are surprised to see me ? The E. 1 am never surprised. p Mr. P. Well then, I am, sometimes. And this is one of the times, The E. My friend! Mr. P. O, bother, don’t friend me. I consider that you have behaved uncommonly rudely, and that ’s all about it. The E. Ut so, allons ! Mr. P. All very fine, but you don’t impose upon me with your reticence. A Frenchman thinks it such a miracle that a man is able to hold his tongue, that you astonish your subjects by your silence, but we are not to be done that way. What are you going to do? The E. Bathe. Mr. P. 1 say—not too much of that sort of thing with me. I like the epigrammatic as well as anybody, but there is a time when it is a man’s business to open his mouth. Is there not? The F. At seven. Come. Don’t dress. Mr. P. 1’ll tell you what, Elected of the Millions, you'll rile me presently. Yes, I will dine with you, but look here. I have come to you upon the Italian question, and I demand to know your intentions. I ought to be aware of everything ? The E. Who is, if not you? Mr. P. A very proper compliment, Louis Napotzos, but I am not exactly in the mood for compliments at this present speaking. lt is perfectly clear that a crisis has arrived, and that the eyes of all Europe are now turned upon you. The E. Rude of Europe. [ Draws down blind. | Mr P. My dear Emperor, I am not here to learn that you have plenty of esprit, or that you might write a whole Charivari by yourself, if you could get your censor’s leave to publish. Now let me have a serious answer to a serious question. What order have you sent to your General in Rome ? The E. The Legion of Honour. _ Mr. P. Nephew of your Uucle, do not provoke me too much, for this is very hot weather, and I have a temper to match. GarrsBa.pr has The move- ment is at an end. The E. How carefully you have read the papers. 7 _ Mr. P. You want to put me into a passion, do you, Sire? Then you just shan’t. Now, Mr. without your aid, and so you may march out with per the door is open, The E. (Looks at handle). No, it is closed, but I thenk you. Mr. P. You will not have much reason to thank me, presently. you hear what I say? Rome does not want you there any longer. So, | are you going to walk out ? The E. With the Empress, at two. Mr. P, Empxnor, you have no business in the Eternal City. 1 tell | understood you that your Occupation is indefensible. child. ‘ ~ a oa occupation of Rome, Sire. You understand me per- ectly well. The E, Who misunderstands lucidity personified ? Mr. P. 1 am all that, no doubt. But I repeat my question, and I demand a response. The B. Amen! Mr. P. What do you mean by that? The B. (mildly). "That is a response, I believe. At least I have always understood so from the priests. Mr. P. Empexor or THe Frescu, or ratherof France, a dark thought strikes me. Is it possible that you have not made up your mind 7 the re are to adopt? If so I think you ought to be ashamed of yourself. if you are in doubt, it is welll came. I will direct you as to the course. The E. De Morxy po F my racing. ‘ Mr. P. Does he? 1 wish your Imperial Stableship much joy. You are dexterous, Sire, but I return to the charge my design to do so agai and again until I have elicited the truth. What line are you gong to take ? The E. For my return to Paris? There is but one. We do not waste mouey on half a dozen railways to the same place, like certain islanders. The South-Western. Mr. P. Son of Quezs Hortense, would you do me the favour to avoid levity when we are speaking on a grave subject. Protector of Rome, you perceive that the | good King, Vicror-EMMANUEL, is quite capable of — Rome | ect comfort—for van ee oe lam te. it is now as useless as it : to continue your occupation of Rome. Do you intend to it to an The EB. Rome? ! Mr. P. hat do you mean by Rome ? The E. od The Bi (salles)” Of the temporal dominions of his Holiness the P : ’ t inions i OPE. Mr. P. Bah, but what do you mean by i ate Home? The E. You asked me, my valued friend, whether | intended to destroy Rome, or you used words to that effect. Mr. P. When the Artful Dodger dies you shall be Dodger, though I had promised the place to your friend Dizzy. Are you not going to let m¢ into your confidence; me, Pusch, your teuest and best ally ? The E Lam. Pardon me that I have hesitated, but it was in the hopes of gaining from your wisdom some new light upon my situation. ir. P. {biushing). Nay, I am sure that I shall be but too happy, Sire, to afford you any new light in my power. si i . can give me much, Would you touch the spring of that Mr. P. (does #0. The blind flies up). Well, Sire ? The B. (smiles) You see, | did not over-rate your ability. Mr. P. By Jove! But Yl keep my temper. The E. \t is always well to do so. In reward for your heroic effort, walk up-stairs and see the Exrnress, and tell her that you are coming to dinner. And she will show you the child. If you are good natured, you will tell him a story. Mr. P. (with profound intention). Shall I tell him that the child of the First Napoteon was King of Rome. The E. (with intense explosion.) Ha! You have—but no matter, no matter. to the Empress, my dear friend, go to the Eurnress. { Rushes out. Mr. P. He has dashed into the sea with his clothes on. But I have undressed his soul, Ha! “ Dear Ponca, eT . “ Tuere can be no doubt that the intellect of mankind is in a progressive state, and that we are much wiser than our forefa.hers. “This consideration has just been forced upon us, the undersigned, by the historical statements which have appeared in reference to the departure of the Nonconformist clergy from the Church of England upon the Act of Uniformity coming into operation. ' ; “ A couple of thousand clergymen (more or fewer) resigned their livings, because they would not say they believed in the whole contents of the Prayer Book. ' “ Since that time, Sir, intellect has advanced, and did those good but narrow-minded men live in our days, the Church would not need to lose their services. : P . “ Suppose that some Essayists and Reviewers in the time of Caanies THE Second had made it clear to these two thousand clergymen, that in solemnly declaring their belief in the contents of the Prayer Book, they only meant that they were complying with what was generally in society to be a mere form, and that they were at liberty li uch little as they liked, provided that they acce The E, (Shows paper). Why, 1 am only drawing caricatures for OY the Pear Book fs tho opizis of ee 1 . — the world, and dalise their parishes by any out-of-the-way doctrines. “ Had there ily existed such teachers im the times of the Non- conformists, those men might just as well have remained in the Chureh, and taken her honours and e ts, as * Your obedient Servants, “Tay Essavists ayp Keviewens,” did not scan- “ St. Janus’s Day, 1862.” Scratch Matches. Some matches have been published which will ignite only in contact with the box in which they Am sold. A wedded friend of ours (a brute) states that the invention reminds him of a well-bred marr who never fly into passions wi friends or strangers, but fire up into prompt explosion with one another. He suggests that these ma should be called the Conj We suggest he should ZOOLOGICAL COMPANIONS, Tne ever-active Seeretary to the Zoological Society announces the arrival of a new creature called “ Ayt-ate” A letter from the Vatiown informe us that another curious creature called “ No so,” is not wulikely to be hastily exported to Eugiand. Could not De. DcLaTes arrange to exubit both in the Regent's Park ?

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+, Ree: | 114 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Serremen 13, 1862, SCIENTIFIC STEALING. Tue subjoined extract from a police report relates to a not very common offence :— ‘* Tuames.—Yesterday, Gronce Watts, aged 41, a poe and gardener, was charged with stealing 500 feet of gas f ] We have heard one schoolboy ask another, | whistling a tune, “‘ How much is that a yard?” | but in the case above quoted we find an air, to | wit, carburetted hydrogen, measured by the |foot. It is lucky for the gas companies that aériform fluids are capalie of being measured somehow, so that a thief who steals a volume of gas may be tried and punished as effectually as the fellow was the other day for stealing | books out of the British Museum Library. But when gas is superseded by electricity, how will |that be measured? It can’t be weighed, being }one of the “imponderables ;” it bas no dimen- | sions, and the electric fluid is incapable of being meted by the pint and quart. The electrometer | does not divide it into quantities, but doubtless invention will keep pace with discovery, and a | suitable instrument will serve to indicate the | |amount of electricity which a rogue has filched from a wire. We may trust the science of the future to take care of its own. _ Nig | ed 2! act YF ' | | } J = iW i i ——— ‘ | | | Obvious. Somesopy advertises some tinted spectacles, which he states to be used by great numbers of |the aristocracy, “including Lorp Patmer- SKE ston.” ‘These last words induced us imme- A TCH AT BUXTON. | diately to send for a pair, for we like to see Showing the Awful Effects of a Season among the Crinolines at the Exhibition. |everything couleur de rose. HINT FOR AN EXPERIMENT. | A HOPELESS HUNT. F ; intelligent. } | Tue Morning Post publishes the subjoined announcement :— g gven- | Tae London Magistrates = © rule, just, inte ae “ We have authority to state that the Marcnioness or QueENsBurRY, who has tlemen, who desire to discourage, as much as possible, the crimes they Netely besemse @ Momup Cathelle, left her sesidence, near Wegtsiden, taeh aaah have to punish. And they one and all declare that at least two-thirds | clandestinely, taking with her the three youngest of her six fatherless children, of such crimes are committed in consequence of Drink. These pre- | and leaving no clue to her place of hiding. There is no doubt it is in the power of ; : 4 lowi is virtually, if | the guardians and the nearest relatives of the late marquis to trace her ladyship's misses granted, does it not seem odd that the following is virtua‘ly, 1! | sight, and, through the strong arm of English law, to rescue the children and make | not in words, the dialogue which passes day after day in our Police | them’ wards in Chancery.” Courts ? | : ‘ . a : The relatives of the late Marquis may be able to trace her ladyship’s . Dako . ane ate . othe co i ” , ' | * a. Bae ray ay etues pees to i —— vod — flight, but although they may follow her they are not likely to catch Wi . " - se rem . Se ‘| her, The pursuit of a Marchioness who bas turned Papist, and flown mL Dave you SAY . R i or li es, must be a wild-goose chace. Prisoner (doggedly). 1 know nothing about it. I was drunk. off with her little ones, must be ba Magistrate. You were drunk ? inc ain saree genie” | JUSTIFIABLY TERRIFIED. Magistrate. O, well, if you were drunk, that makes a difference. A| _ Kia af drunken man dors not know what he is doing. It is very wrong of you,| Te following awful apparition in the pulpit is recorded to have been however, to get drunk, and I fine you twenty shillings, which I hope | lately witnessed :— will be a lesson to you. | “ Yesterday morning, at a Church at Forest Hill, the no ee ee wank, il Upped semneticinly paid the fine, and went away, as he said, to _ eit pureed dean te = wearing a black beard and moustache. This is really what the usual conversation between the Magistrate | Some of the papers that have noted this appalling fact, dueiin So and the Prisoner amounts to, and the ridiculous fine is the result. But |Co™sregation as having been alarmed.” | h a. at ont au ar | suppose (and M4/r. Punch throws out the suggestion with all respect for | Wo advocate the adornment of og eibed sab hen may ra the excellent Magistrates) the dialogue should take this turn : jan argument in such alarm. Did the terrified subur over 658 . , P picture representing one of the Apostles? But matters may be even pe come Tay Me you were drunk ? worse than we kuow. For if the clergyman’s doctrines were as s0ner . PS, " ’ ; apostolic as his appearance, the genteel conventionalists of Forest Magistrate. Very well, you plead guilty to that offence, and I Hull must not only have been alarmed, but disgusted. will deal with it first. A man has no right to get drunk, because drunkenness 1 in itself a — and ~~ i. the con S = aenmpnNTERt iii is committing other crimes, I send you to hard labour for a month for to Wa ff Correspondents. drunkenness, and when that term expired, we will take the other outs ange oy rs - ’ ae | offences. Mr. Weep, of New York, is on his way to England. We should ‘The prisoner was removed, declaring that all justice was at an end, if | have preferred an importation of “ Virginian Weed,” but the destiny a fellow was to be treated like that for what he did when he didn’t | of both is the same, a mission ending in smoke. (Do Correspondents know what he was about. understand. We have used the weed joke, so they will let it .] Sapuees be EY = were ——e ona, do no oom, and it might do much good, in the way of disabusing a large mass of persons " of a British belief, much promoted by euthonnty, that drunkenness is an _—— Rs. ‘ ; Extenuation. Let it become an Aggravation—as it is frequently| Tue Total Abstinence spouters talk about toasts and sentiments being called by Magistrates who immediately proceed to stultify their own | drunk without wine, So, if talking bosh is any sign of declaration. | are most of their drinkers.

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rill Pn- se | Serreusas 15, 1862.) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 115 | PIC-NICING UNDER THE NEW POACHING ACT. | Rorat Poriceman. “ Hullo/ I say—I say—What's them Birds in that there Piet” . — — r The soberest legal disquisitions may be not worth repeating, We THE JOLLY JURISTS OF GERMANY, may safely conclude that the speech of the German jurists, during their crouse, consisted in utterances of the prosaic wisdom and weighty jocosities characteristic of and suitable to personages of their ponderous nation, and dignified profession, over their cups. No doubt they held a solemn supper, and drank an enormous quantity of wine, every one of them with a profound gravity, the centre of which never at any time became vertical to a point outside of the base of support or chair which maintained each erudite jurist in the position of an upright judge. Accorpixc to “honest Jago,” England is the country “ where | | indeed they are most potent in potting.” Although “ your Dane, your | German, and your swag-bellied Hollander” excel most other nations in | that accomplishment, they “ are nothing to your English.” Whatever may have been the relative capacity of this and those other nations | for drinking in the time of SHaxspzarz, and whether or no “ your | English,” at the present day, retain their former superiority in strength to tope over “ your Dane,” and “ your swag-bellied Hollander,” there | SS = is reason to believe that pow at any rate there is nobody better able | to stand a considerable quantity of liquor than “your German.” | The United Kingdom Alliance, established to obtain a law prohibiting | Exacoenatep statements have been made of the reappearance of the sale of fermented drinks, is a body which, being accustomed to the Potato Disease. Under the signature of A Tunes, a correspondent mind other people’s business, will be naturally interested in the infor- | (hus writes :—“ They say that the blight has attacked some of us, but mation afforded by the following paragraph, relative to foreigners, and | few are affected with anything worse than the mildest form of oplithal- illustrating Teutonic prowess in potation :— mia. At least, as far as | am concerned, I may venture to say that the potato-disease is all my eye.” * Eleven hundred German jurists are now in Vienna. In the evening of Sunday | they and 700 Austrian jurists sat down to a supper given by the “wy ye! S " sol und Wane ated of the cnenety. ant Sabo cation of Sibeute thaoaegan The Papal Shortcomings. supper with music, cigars, &c., cost the city no less than 40,000 florins (£4,000).” Tue Porg mistakes and so disdains as represented by these sages of the ee, } one ae => “a pens re | , No, but of his Long Going. Certainly “ your German,” is at least as potent in his potting as any modern Englishman. achievement. above narrated could not have been surpassed by a sym- | em po British —., For of course the jolly ates | did not get | runk, because it was Sunday, and besides any symptoms of intoxication | exhibited by them would have been noted, for fun. No doubt they} _— BIRDOPLAD as were as sober as-judges, as we say, meaning by the sobriety of a judge| Uspem the head of exports is included a quantity of walnut-ketchup, the state of self-possession which a judge retains after having taken to St. Domingo. This article, for which a great demand existe m wine enough to make several ordinary men drunk. If they talked | Hayti, is destined to be employed as a cosmetic by the ladies. nonsense, the Press would have published it ; but we are only told that, after having consumed nearly £4,000 of wine and beer :-— Joxixe re a Cracuz.—We have the authority of Mz. Barry for «The Germans learned in the law have talked much since they have been in| 88Ying that “the first horse-laugh mutt certainly have proceeded from Vienna, but nothing worth repeating is reported.” 'an Os humerus. scars

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| 116 LONDON CHARIVARI. PUNCH, OR THE 1 (Serremper 13, 1862, PERILOUS PERFORMANCES. | ( Another Confidential letter to Tom Tunstrtorre, Esquine, @ young man from the Country now resident in Town.) had seen the plucky fellow. a feminine eontortio whom you bi high r an artistieall racter. Y pear Tom,—I heard you say the other night that you | glad Wondrous Leorarp, and thought he was, by Jove! a deuced You also said something in praise of ad been to see at the Alishambles Palace. No doubt too you have seen Monsieur Bronpi on the for the danger there is in them, which puts a man’s endurance and courage to the test. The risk is not incurred for the mere sake of getting money, ing an u excitement to a mob. Moreover, in the hunting field as well as in the cricket is oe is a pleasure to those occupied that far outweighs the peril. But, with his nonc coolness when at work, who believes that M. Browpus feels a pleas Leotarp is not in or that M. to get to supper wi , Ohne Cick? Another reason why I object to these ances is because of their unhealthy effeet upon 5 ecalla Spanish bullfight a brutal exhibition, and hold up our hands jn wonder, that gently-nurtured ladies can affect to take delight in it. t in a bull-fight it is mainly brute life which is threatened ; whereas in the trapéze and M. Broy- pin’s case, the sole risk that attracts is that of a man’s neck. Yet ladies highly-born have flocked to such ormances, and have sat through them with rather enjoyment than disgust. And can you think they did so without some mental detriment? Do you not imagine that and considered his performance as one of | elevated cha- tastes natu- rally differ and are not to aceustoming the eye to such exciting sights blunts and blights the | better aa of the heart, and hardens all the tender sympathies of re? e natu lieve that, man or woman, whoever is accusto’ to the sight of life imperilled, loses gradually the sense of pity it should waken, and grows callous to the sight of human suffering and pain. most tender-hearted beings after going to a course of Perilous Performances, accounted for, and what | would see an accident to limb or life without feeling much sorrow ; and one man thinks disgusting would regard it rather less as a misfortune than a fault. If a man fell 'p, another finds enjoyable. But | from a ladder, or a jockey from a horse, they would criticise the elumsi- has it ever crossed human life in danger, and for secing suicide ? like Leorarp and pin, by constant practice, me, to them has little danger. 1 grant you that the peril is much lessened by their usage to it, but the danger still exists, and may any night prove fatal. With all their skill and practice, Monsreurs Leo- tarp and Brionprn cannot make themselves proof against the freaks of nature; and, to say nothing of the fact that ropes are not infallible and by accident will break, pray what human skill can guard against those physical contingencies which every human frame is heir to? A sudden cramp or spasm, or a momentary giddiness, would suffice to stretch the acrobat a corpse upon the floor, and make every spectator feel as though he had been an accessory to manslaughter. Besides, performers are in general Leotarp and Bionprs; but while there is a craving for “sensation” feats like theirs, of course there will be found men willing to attempt them, and ready at a price to put their necks in nightly danger. While Music Halls are crammed to see the Wondrous Leorarp, and in con- depend on it his sequence he pockets, say, his twenty — a night veers the Miraculous, or the feats will be copied more or less by Bounding Bueoixs. Now, the trapéze, at first sight seems innocent enough. It simply is a series of swinging bars, a dozen yards apart, which being set in motion, the performer grasps in passing, and swiftly flies along from one bar to another without touching the ground. But exciting as his flight in mid air seems at first, spectators soon get tired of seeing the same thing; and when its novelty wears off, the dish has to be spiced with a dash of some more danger in it; and so trapéze- performers practise summersaults and turnings aud tumblings in their flights, and nightly introduce fresh perils in their play-bill, until the climax of attraction and of danger too is reached. ‘alt may go on safely until at length some evening, excited by applause, the performer tries a feat which he has barely practised the strong man Pe up a bleeding, senseless, huddled heap, and perhaps a wife and family are left without, support. Now, I would not undervalue feats of strength and skill, nor the courage that is needed to practise and perform them. An acrobat must have no ordinary pluck, or he could never face the dangers of the ‘ours de force required of him; and as an Englishmaw, of course I can’t help liking oleae wherever I may find it. Still I think that in such exploits as those of M. Buonpane and those of the trapeze, there is more risk than is allowable for human beings to incur, unless there be a vital reason for their doing so. A soldier mounts a breach, or a sailor goes aloft in the midst of a typhoon, because it is their duty to put their lives in peril. But these things are exceptions, and are not done daily for mere sake of exhibition, that crowds may go and gape at them. Again, there is great danger in well nigh every field sport. A bold rider is fortunate if he escapes a broken neck, and, with the modern catapultive round-shot style of bowling, a cricketer may generally thank his lucky stars if he suffer nothing worse than being en black and blue. But these are healthy sports, and are none the worse to my mind your mind that by attending these performances, you are aiding and abetting to put 1 in going to see feats like those of Leoranp and Biowpiy. encouraging, may be, a taste | lt is very well to say that men 3 LON- have their nerves and limbs completely in control, and | make her “terrible ascent,” surrounded what were death to you or | Perilous Performances than I would allow them to go and y no means so well skilled as There is a slip—a fall—and then | When and ness and not pity the mishap ; out erying “Oh, r creature ! “ What a stupid muff! ” Perbaps you say you are only doing what your forefathers howe 5, el, grant you there is nothing very new in their performances, Any middle- aged young man who has a score of years of memory must recollect rope-walkers at Vauxhall and Cremorne, who went nearly if not quite to the same height as M. Bronpix; and men whose heads do stoop a little on their shoulders, and the shadow of whose waistcoats is more convex than of yore, can tell how Mapame Saqui used every night to by a halo of flying squibs and chahen of neck-breaking that no more let my girls attend these see a prize- fight. But as I said, tastes differ; and the crowd that thronged the Crystal Palace when Biowpr first performed was one of the most and instead of feeling sympath would be more inclined, o crackers. It is not the novelty but the appears still to attract. I would | fashionable ever there assembled, and quite as many ladies as gentlemen | were ; one well up in history can vouch. al present. Strange as it may seem, it has been ever thus, as any Still, within the last half-century we in England have been bragging about our March of Intellect, and boasting of the strides that Education has been taking with its seven- league stepping boots. There arises then the question—After all, does Edueation in reality refine? The love of Perilous Performances so rainpant still among us is merely a new form of the old gladiator gusto with which the bloody Circus scenes were rel in old Rome, We lift our eyes in pious horror at the cruelties wherewith the heathen matrons were wont to feast their eyes, but how many highborn mothers in ry Christian land have brought their girls to see (perhaps) a broken nec _ Whether the taste for quiet pleasures is dying out among us, killed by the excitement of the battles fought in business, now that the money-getting mania is infecting every brain, I leave to other moralists with more leisure to inquire. But there is certainly a growing taste for pleasures spiced with peril (such as M. Buonpiy’s omek cooked on his high rope), and to my thought this is clearly a vitiat eggetiio, betokening a most unhealthy state of palate, and one which only a strong purgative of common sense can cure. I would say then, my dear Tom, that the less that you or any other young man from the country go to places of amusement with the chance of seeing suicide, the better it will be for you and those with whom you have to do. you are in Spain, be a Spaniard 7 lease ; and go to see a bull-fight, and what brutal sports you like, But do not carry home your relish for Perilous Performances, or, by giving them your petrouage, encourage their existence. It is surely hardly p dear for a well-bre Christian gentleman to show a taste for seeing necks put needlessly in peril, and visit places where his presence may stimulate performers to commit sensation suicide, or at least to get their living by what is very likely to bring about their death. : ; I remain, my dear boy, your Mentor, and I hope you will not think tormentor, PaNCR. Behind his Age. A Warrter in Once a Week says that whatever may have been the short-comings of the Porg in other 8, there is no dougie Hot has earnestly promoted the celebrated Vatican manufacture of Mosaics. In fact, the Porz might not now be under notice to quit, had Holiness been as attentive to Christian as to Mosaic work. F

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here, without evep Py mee 7 trou’ I __ PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARL—Serremner 13, 1862. MR. FROM SUBJECTS IN “PUNCH.” JOHN LEECH’S GALLERY OF SKETCHES IN OIL. EXHIBITING AT THE EGYPTIAN HALL, PICCADILLY. A FROLIC HOME AFTER A BLANK DAY. MR. JORROCKS (loq.).—‘' Come hup! I say—you ugly beast |” } THE MERMAIDS’ HAUNT. ‘4 > ‘ PHYSICAL EDUCATION. A CAVALIER, 1860.—Adolphus. “ Now, girls !—if you 're } game for a ride on the sands—I'm your man.” BATHING WOMAN —* —— yer to swim? Zor’ bless 27 A FRIENDLY MOUNT.—Party (whose nerve is not what it used to be). *‘ You are quite sure, Charles, that he’s tem- rate !"—Charls “Ob, yes! come along ! Do you think should let you ride him if he wasn’t? Why you niight kill the horse /” 9b Vervous Party is much flottered by the consideration of Friend. 28 JONES tries his new hack, which is as quiet as a lamb— ust about. 51 THE GOOD LITTLE BOY.— Franky wouldn't ne no! not he Martha, and bathe aman!” LITTLE GENT.—“‘ Mornin’, my Lord !—Glad to see pq out again !—What I like about fox- ‘unting is, that it im ‘orses—and people proves the breed together as wouldn't otherwise meet!” Woman. “ Masta at-ie'e come 0 o we 53 MISS MATILDA—-‘ Go on, Fido !—There’s one grat by of course I can ! ENE AT SANDBATH.—The Female Bloniin outdene! draw-back to these A ade: make one TA Mick BRAC G DAY AT THE SEA-SIDE. Grand Morning Pe orf wwmance on the Narrow Plank by body else.” (Ahem! 6 INDIGNANT MASTER OF HOUNDS.—“ Now, you Sir! the Darling * * * 54 A SKETCH AT RAMSGATE —2Bilen (cho lows © joe mind the hound ! 7 ENTER MR l * OLD DIPS declares they manage sea-bathing better in He's worth Worty times 4s much | rour horse.” THe Reader ie requested te eheerve, that the Lower Ex. | emities ted above do net belong to the Fair | Dameel on the Plank, but to the Boatman beyond, upon | whowe shoulder she is leaning.—We, however, recommend Flora to be more careful how she composes herself the next time she gets out of a boat. $1 COUNTRY RAC BA ae ntlemen Riders, who are so ike Professional Jocks, you can hardly tell the difference ! WHILE THEY ARE AT SCARBOROUGH, Paterfamilias thinks his little ones ought to lose no opportunity of drinking the waters ! 2 THE BEST PREVENTIVE, AGAINST SKA-SICKNESS.— Once on board, fix your eyé# upon some distant object, and adapt the movemeut of your body tothe rolling of the vessel Aunt Pidget’s expense). ‘‘ Good two officers !’—Aunt Fidget (a me, so there are! Well; they may be are not gentlemen, I'm one. or they looking at us in that im; t manner.” IRRITABLE GENTLE aN DISTURBED BY BLUE BOTTLE. & 56 A CAPITAL FINISH.—Bzcited but rather behind-hand Party DIVISION OF LABOUR.—Sporteman (in Standing Beans). | 33 A DELICIOUS SAIL —OFF VER.—0ld Lady. “ Good- ‘* Now then, my man, have you seen em? Which way Where to, now, Jack?” —Jack. “ Well! let's see! I should ness gracious, Mr. Boatman! what's that?” Stolid Boat- ng they gone?” —Man, _ it, Sir! They ‘re down just go up the beans again, and » ‘ross the top end, beat man. “That, mum! Nothun, mum. Only the artillery Fox an’ ‘ounds is just run into th" School!” lown the other side and round uy the bottom. While prac-ti-sin’, and that 's one o’ the cannon-balls what's just | 57 THE OLD FOXHUNTER.—Flora. ‘“ Well, Ronald! and re there, get over and try o Haycock’s _ standing struck the water!” how do you like Rotten Row ?”—Renald, “ Oh, pretty its —he won't mind—I ‘ll stop here and mark ! | 8 MARRIED FOR MONEY—THE HONEYMOON —“ Now, well ; but it’s rather slow work to a man who has bem LATEST FROM PARIS.—Beaut/ful Being. “ Well, I must then, darling, put away your paper, and we'll have a nice accustomed to go across country, as I have all my life!” sy, Parker, that a i hair dressed 2 I'l mpératrice. } long walk, and then come back to tea in our own little | 58 MR. BRIGGS, having become an adept in the art of hore It shows so much of the | cottage, and be as happy as two little birds !” said the fair | taming, operates upon a colt he has bred himself, and~ NONE BUT THE BRAVE. DESERV KE THE FAIR—/}| bride.—‘‘ Oh! hangit!” mentally ejaculated the Captain. | 59 With com success. Avguetus. “ Now I've got you 85 THE FAIR TOXOPHILITES.—Constance. *‘Oh, mamma! | 60 A JUDGE B a ied che ie kina “ Bless ‘is THE OPERA. —Liszy. ‘* Good TT ieee Selina, look there ! I'm so delighted. I have just made the best gold, and | ‘art! 1 know’d he'd take it werry looks here 's that ridiculous little man again. Did you ever won the beautiful bracelet given by Captain Rifles.”— | on ’im !” see anything so absurd?" Bush y wo “Ah! Tiere she is, bless her! and locking this Oh! it's as clear as possivle she has Lucy (disappointed). “ Well, Constance, I think you had | better not say much about it. You know it was a fluke ! MORE NOVELTY.—The Misses Weasel think crinoline s me and extravagant mienyas and by yg en & | for you told me you always shot with your eyes shut, as Roundabout’s yina ee 7 to me!" you feel so very nervous !” 62 NOT A BAD a. R WARM WEA we Predock YES, MY DEARS ! I know the sea breeze after bathing is | 36 GONE AWAY !—“id Coochman. ‘‘ Now, Miss Ellen! Miss “ Now Girls, ~ gh be idle!” 4 beneficial to the back hair ;—but consider the heart of Ellen! You know what your Pa said! You was to take | 63 “‘ DONT MO’ ERE, WE SHALL CLEAR YOU!" your too susceptible Punch ! the greatest \ DELICATE COMPLIMENT.—Fira Whip (who is a litle | (Med because the Fox won't break). *‘ Now, then, Sir! Out care of Joey !"—Miss Bllen. “So I will, Robert ! and that’s why Tam taking him off the nasty hard road, poor thing ! PATIENCE REWARDED. —biscat-r. “ A-hah! Got you at last, have 1?—And a fine week's trouble I ‘ve had to cateh you the way, unless you ll get into the cover. Mayhap | 87 SEA-SIDE —The bathing hour | 65 IT'S THE EARLY BIRD THAT PICKS UP THE WORM your ugly mug might frighten him out. Come up, | 38 THE NOBLE SCIENCE.—Tomkins and his friend (who —Piscatur. ** There, you et ae yaa (” BOTTLES, “There! that’s capital ! show you how the ch THE BUTLER.—Master Fred. Stand still, Bottles, and I'll | imese do the knife-trick at the play.” is much interested. | have been thrown out) congratulate themselves on falling | in with the Squire’s second horseman, who is sure to bring them by a line of gates to the hounds agaiu—and so he does, only—the last of the gates is locked, and over which he “ hops like a bird!” oe 7 of early rising. ve - why water, and I'l be buund Be a Ee are not out of bed ; FOR A COLD me Tigdapss are steam bath, and this ean be had in your own bed-rom 66 89 MR. PEEWIT has a little addition to his family—he is with the greatest ease— France, and that when he is at Bo-long, he does as Bo-long obliged to get his meals anyhow—and— 67 You have = to take care that you manage the p- loes—well ! that's a matter of taste! 40 Abdicates in favour of the real master of the house. paratus perly. ) PUTTING HIS FOOT IN (T.—Little Hairdresser (mildly). 41 A NICE GAME FOR TWO OR MORE.—“ 68 GORGEOUS SPECTACLE.—Sarah Jane. ** Oh, Betsy, come Yer ‘air 's very thin on the top, Sir.” Gentleman (of un gowernable temper). “‘ My hair thin on the top, Sir? and hat if itis! Confownd you, you puppy, do you think I ome here to be insulted and told ot my personal defects ? 42 Fixing her eyes on his, and placing her pretty little foot on the ball, she said, ‘ Now, then, I am going to Croquet you !" and’ Croquet’ i he was completely.” (From Rose to Bmily.) COMMON OBJECTS AT THE SEA-SIDE—Generally found | ‘ere, and bring Hisabeller! We can see the ‘oofs of the ‘orses 1!" 69 A BRILLIANT IDEA.—Matilda. “Oh, look ze im Tommy ! S’pose we your being footinan, and I ‘ll thin your top ! upon the rocks at low water me and Lis coreuths Mt tee the an the fine ladies bay ge GGLES.—“ ia hard, Master George. It's too wide | 43 DOING IT THOROUGHLY.—Old Gent. “I say, my little | 70 TABLEAU, representing a tg gen boy nd uncommon deep.”— Master George. ‘‘ All right, Rug- man, you should always hold your pony together going he is alone by the “Sad Sea Waves.” He takes the op ‘ We can both swin /”’ | up hill, and over ploughed land! ”— Young Nimrod A | petenty of f going through the last scene of ** Lucia. \QUATIC8—Who is this? Why thisis Mr. John Chubb | right, .id cock! don’t you teach your grandmother | to | [N.B. ling one of his long, slow, stead strokes. He is taking | sore pains than usual, because these pretty girls in the round hate are sitting on the lawn drawing from nature. | suck eggs ! There 's my man by the hay-stack with my | second borse |’ Th Young Gentl-man's voice (which We imaging to be like MaRio’s) is of the most feeble and uncertain quality.) P 44 THE ROUND HAT, LADEN WITH NOVELS, IN A/71A WEIGHTY MATTER —Frederick avery big “That's And STORM.—Ancient Mariner. ‘“* Hold ona bit, Miss—I'll tow | a niceish pony of y urs, Charley.— By the bye, heavy HERE ARE THE GIRLS IN THE ROUND HATS. you off !—You should never carry so much sail in a sou- of WHERE THERE'S A WILL THERE’S A WAY.—Fox- hurting Doctor horse ** Not be in time! Oh, nonsense ! Send my on,—s#ee my patients early,—dressin the brongham, | there Lam!" (and we 45 wester |” RATHER AWKWARD FOR TOMKINS.— Young Diana. | ** I think, Sir, if you would be so good as to go first, and | are you?” "—Charley Well, within stone, I’m sorry to say.” et to be “ eee weight. Now, I'm ou to have very ¢ for, with saddle and bridle, I don’t ride less than four hope he may have a good run.) | break the top rail, my pony would get over.” | stone two! *.* We have been obliged to © the side of the car- | 46 OUR FRIEND 10M NODDY bis a day with the Brook- | 72 A VERY GREAT MAN.—“ Now, Cane ae Toust go riage out, which perhaps the kind reader will excuse. side Harriers.—With his usual prudence he gets a horse out very deep, for | want to take a * | SHOCKING RESULT OF WEARING INDIAN RUBBER | accustomed to the hills ! GOLOsHES ON THE SANDS.—Young Jack Robinson | 47 PARTY who of course doesn't think himself good looking).— | sees W a he imagines to be the impression of his darling’s | foot—be mentally ejaculates, “‘ Bedle-Crusher,* by Jove /” d flies to other climes. * Really, Clara, I can't think how you can make a pet of | such an ugly brute as an Isle of Skye terrier!” 73 DID YOU EVER eee, ~ what the newspaper says a “No! Wt Sy ad ei relating to that “Why, 48 TH# RACE FOR A BATHING MACHINE.—Alice St, | it says that it is expected to have an an e3 = * A vulgar and disgusting ee. ing tat | Clara second, Miss Toddles a bad third; and the rest no- on the inferior animals! my wig! I ‘d haveyou and foot is big eno an enoug where ! ook out for m nugh, and tat h, to b ris look ont for squalls!” (D-sguating Low- Boy.) The brutality of connecting in any way yt es with | 49 the feminine Tootsicums, needs no comment. M R CUPID AT SEA.—Ange/ina (to Bdwin, whose only chance is perfect tranquillity.) “ Edwin, dear! if you love me, go 74 MISS STOUT. «Tho worst of letting one’s back/bair down is, that it makes the sac young men stare #0! WIGGINS has a fine opportunity of displaying his | down into the cabin, and fetch me my scent-bottle, and 75 MODERATION.—birst Untergraduate. “Hollo, Charley, oliteness and activit another shawl to put over my feet!” Ain't you going out today?”—Second Us tm s SHOCKING YOUNG LADY, INDEED !—Bmily (betrothed [Epwtn’s sensations are more -aatty imagined than described. } (driving). «Why, no—not this morning. Y nag os 0 Chari). *“ Charles, isn’t it fun? I've beaten | 50 AQUATICS,—A COMFORTABLE RAN-DAN. an dawrtet only a one horse man, and as I hunted at rthur and Julia, and I've broke Aunt Aunt Sally’s Nose seven | ‘aterman. “ Holloa ! Hi! Police! Back water, Jack! We've | this week, | theught I'd him a day's 188 got into a nest of Swans, and they ‘re a pitchin’ into me.” | the dog-cart !” From ‘‘ ALL —_ YEAR ROUND,” July 5, 1862. From ‘‘THE TIMES,” June 21, 1862. “ Tum ple? S enue s lounge. One can look at Mr. Lerca's drawings up the book or turning over the leaves. You can take up your wn peapeny by ~ he A Rony Lf of your especial favourites, | “Iy a hundredth part of the people who have enjoyed this kindly catiriet’s works they have appeared in Punch week by week; if the ‘swells’ who have laughed at the yachting and enjoy them either alone, or, still better, with a friend who thorot derstands the Presentments of their brother swells; if the sporting men, the dancing men, merita of this edusirable artist. Ways Tale cnet ctaveaeaiiant euatittes ta teat men and their amiable female companions ; if all the boys at school who recognise pictures a TION: class. Men of the keenest wit and of highest intel. | of other boys at other schools; if the attainments are : eyes, full forms, by his sketches, and so is the errand clerk who sees them flowing ringlets, and charming boots; if the brave old squires and country gentlemen Qt is a merciful through the windows. @ fh, 4 whom Mr. Lezcm delights to depict at their firesides over their dessert with tneir sou*Y a. enjoy will } eveng dy pty A te and ay And hen Se. be tae grandchildren, or in the hunting-field with their horses and hounds, are minded te come snd are ready to come owe, wae our shilling be able to get, in exchange for them, a sight of | 8¢¢ their own portraits, what crowds will flock once more to that room, ye more oae br a ches fresh hand of one of ao English | 1orists, and one of the most remarkable artists of our school and & to the gaiety of nations!” Admission | One ion One Shilling. from 1 ee till dusk. A