Judge 1917-06-02: Vol 72 Iss 1859

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if wus JUNE 2, 1917 PRICE, 10 CENTS DARN IT ALL! XUM

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SIX GREAT BOOKS THAT POINT THE WAY TO Your Advancement—Success—Prosperity in Commercial or Professional Life Jack London rose to riches in a few short years from among the toughs of San Francisco Bay, because he learned to transfer his ideas to the printed page in virile, compelling phrases. Arthur Brisbane, with his incisive style, commands, in a single year, a salary amounting to a comfortable fortune. Joseph Pulitzer, arriving penniless in the steerage from Austria, built up a great metropolitan daily and a large for- tune, because he mastered the practical force of the English language and used it to advantage. SURELY FORTUNE HAS DEVELOPED HIS IS WITH THE MAN WHO POWER OF EXPRESSION. IMPROVE YOUR ENGLISH AND INCREASE YOUR INCOME The time is past when illiteracy or slipshod methods of speech and cor- respondence are looked upon with tolerance in the business world. The man who can express himself with force and clearness is the man who is in demand everywhere. “The Art of Writing and Speaking the English Language” By Sherwin Cody 6 VOLUMES OVER 800 PAGES THE CODY $25.00 CORRESPONDENCE COURSE IN BOOK FORM how, ONLY $3.00 Tht ENTIRE SET These six books have an Intrinsic value far beyond their cost. They have put thousands of men and women into the path that leads to increased business, promotion, and higher salary. They are simple, practiont, valuable for Business Managers, Correspondents Advertisement Writers, Stenographers, Story Writers, Authors, Public Speakers and other:. “Your course is rich and fine. You seem to have condensed the exper- lence of years into a few sentences that a business man can use immediately,’ says W. P. WARREN, Marshall Field & Co.'s Advertising Manager, in speaking of these books. BRUNSWICK SUBSCRIPTION Worth their weight in gold, but they're yours for a trifle dud hapters P COMPANY These six books Include many chapters covering Spelling, Pro- tion, Letter-Writi =P kinds, ‘uss “of Words, * Style and 1116 Brunswick Building Diction, Seseription, Dialog, Advertisement Writing, How to Write a Story, Character Study, Verse Writing, Novel New York City J. 62-17 Writing, Essay Writing, How to "Study Shakespeare and Enclosed is $1.00 first payment on the 6 volume set of Cody's Other Great Authors. “ Art of Writing and Speaking the MONEY BACK IF NOT SATISFIED, FOR- English Language ,” to be shipped MERLY COST $25.00 NOW ONLY $3.00 charges prepaid I agree to mail ee you two additional payments of $1.00 each to complete payment Other- $1 00 DOWN, $1.00 A MONTH wise, I will return the books in 5 days In ublised tn form this course of study, as now and you are to refund the $1.00 paid ae ished in these cloth- =: eam, sold for

5.00. There are over 800 p: Sign and “all the coupon with $1 00 2 and the set of ks will forwarded to you, carriage paid; $1.00 a month for two months pays forthem. This is the biggest $3.00 worth of books you ever bought. BRUNSWICK SUBSCRIPTION CO. NEW YORK NAME ADDRESS ...... OCCUPATION...

Vol. LXXII June 2, 1917 No. 1859

vom / Now Has the Largest Circulation of | Ju id, =~ e any Humorous Publication in America | My 2 sareeatiemmenel Cc oO N T E N FT S Cover Design: Darn It All! - - - Painted by C. D. RYAN All Dressed Up and No Place to Go (Full-page drawing) - . - B. CORY KILVERT

Editorials: The New Philosophy—Sixes and Sevens ; The Amateur Tenor - - - - - - H. W. DEE | The Spring Delve . - Drawn by HAMILTON WILLIAMS | The Great Cup Race - - - DON HEROLD | Evidence - - - - - J. E. MIDDLETON | LYON MEARSON LAWTON MACKALL The Eternal Compromise ° “ 4 Royalty’s Ruse - - m » The Credo of a Benedick - - « i The Notion Counter - - “ . The Substitute - - é Married - - " ‘ Bridegrooms - - - - - DOUGLAS MALLOCH BURGES JOHNSON P. L. CROSBY Drawn by June An Interesting Episode - - - - TOM P. MORGAN Bloody War - - - - Drawn by J. CONACHER As It Might Be - - - - - - S. E. KISER The Care of Your Neighbor’s Garden - THOMAS L. MASSON The Slot Machine - - - - McLANDBURGH WILSON Hints for Campers - - ~ “ VIOLET M. LeROY “Tips” - - ° - - Tip to the Marines - - - - - LEE SHIPPEY Judge's Artistic Alphabet Bacon and Eggs and Newport - - - ARTHUR CHAPMAN DONALD GEORGE W. O. MESOM ANNA CADOGAN ETZ If Noah Had Missed the Boat - ° Two Trades Compared” - - The Modern Woman - ° o °

Judge's Foreign Humor, With the College Wits, Stories with Smiles, Passing the Mustard, and Jest and Verse by His Honor’s Humorists Additional Drawings and Decorations by Zim, Lang Campbell, Barksdale Rogers, George Morrow, C. Bertram Hartman, Will Vawter, C. W. Kahles, Hamilton Williams, Tousey, Flohri, R. H. Rahilly, C. W. Anderson, C. H. Wright, R. B. Fuller, and others.

ALBERT E. HOYT | '

WALT MASON | <0 wees - J. J. OCONNELL | -

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AVY 1» i 1859 | of ca | YAN ERT YEE Q — a = = = SS /y) N44 4 (i iy \ 4) (| 7 YY y it IHN NN i ( M y \) \) (x) AXA) X) y\ v \) ZZ LM Lien \ pba deer CALA \X) ‘\ ¥ 4, OK w FZZAE/ LZ, 4 ~ CRM Killw 7 —F “ALL DRESSED UP AND NO PLACE TO GO” g UM r .

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UNITED STATES BOMB PITCHERS IN ACTION E D I T O The New Philosophy CCORDING to the most recent clothing ads you can now take a young man without brains, learning or address, stick him into a modish, up-to-the-minute suit of almost any well advertised brand and make a regular commercial genius — of him in a second. His companions will ~ « stand in awe of him, the girls will go mad i over him, middle-aged people and old % people will recognize great things in him and captains of industry will fall down before him and beg him to take the highest salaried = jobs they have to offer. His pay will jump /M to a hundred a week before sundown and by Saturday night he will be junior partner with the steering wheel of the business in his grasp. All of this is rare, new philosophy. It is almost as inter esting as it is revolutionary. It stupe- fies one to think that he can get a thousand dollars’ worth of convincing personality and oodles upon oodles of aplomb thrown in with every twenty- five-dollar silk-and-wool suit; but it must be so. And we are glad that it is so. The old method of attaining that confidence and address so necessary to satisfactory advancement in the busi- ness world is too slow and labored. \ It specifies hard work, drudgery, \ patience and persistency, all of which

are disagreeable and antedated. The old method relies too much on in trinsic worth and meritorious accom- plishment. It doesn’t even consider superficiality, the crowning glory of our present civilization. Merit isn’t

R | A L S A most cordial welcome, then, to the clothes that make the man! Now if some cunning financial genius can devise a method whereby a new suit can be paid for out of the first week’s increase in salary, we'll all dress up. Sixes and Sevens ITH everybody farming to keep from starving—with State after State going the “bone dry” route—that scripture is coming to pass which says: ‘* Hoe, every man that thirsteth!” # Kings every now and then continue to drink each other’s health—but apparently the dinosaurs are all total abstainers. # Those Mexican refugees who declare that the new Mexican Constitution is unconstitutional must be lineal descendants of the immortal Bumble. An_ uncon- stitutional Constitution surely is next of kin to “the law is a ass.” # So live that your former sweethearts will point you out to their husbands as the man they might have married. “= Kansas City Star. Might have married? May yet marry, rather, if the alimony isn’t satisfactory. & “Slacker husbands” are nothing new. Why, away back in Revolution- ary times, while scouting around West Point, Pawling, Williams and Van Woert uncovered a peculiarly recreant Benedict. 2 “The Khan of Khiva will grant his people a broad democratic Constitu- tion.”” Mighty good way to avoid be- popular any more. It gives the younger, more modern generation a pain. an" / Nae nF . yy . € LE Ny Gaertipes € . ( y c 3 Joa} Dife 1“ Thu eg f ~ Gosh, but it takes a long time to get your order served at this restaurant! sp San 9 F "i ae, NA 2 mR a ax . : x ~ - 52 ~ = " an I a ,. y ‘yi Sate Se ee & 2.4 je dais “Zul 2) ‘ide ot SLA

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8 eh e+ UM THE SPRING DRIVE Uncomfortable male—Guess I'll go an’ enlist. By the time the war’s over, maybe I'll have a home to come to. THE AMATEUR TENOR HERE seems to be a growing conviction in this land of the unjustly free and forward that amateur tenor singing should be regulated by law. Those who deem such extreme paternalism advisable maintain that all tenors should be ex- amined, licensed and tagged, and that their fields of depredation be clearly “> defined and advertised. They also hint | that steps will be taken to have the less responsible hitters of high C placed under bond to keep the peace. Everybody knows that at present it is impossible for one to come within two blocks of a meeting of any amateur musical organization in America without laying one’s-self liable to the influence of a tempestuous solo by some huge and pudgy person with a thick throat, a red face and a nasal whinny at least a half tone flat. We instinc- tively feel whenever we enter a music zone that some such man is going to set our inoffensive tympanums into unsym- pathetic vibration with his taut and rusty vocal chords. And we further realize that there will be enough perfect ladies of both sexes present at his mighty performance to applaud politely and effect an encore. It is such a situation that the agitators for more stringent regulation are trying to ameliorate. They assert that the time for vigorous action has come. In a cause such as this, the end ~, A . / will justify any means short of poisoning, and good people everywhere should lend a hand in anything that is proposed to rid us of the predatory tenor. —H. W. Dee. “ Then you scorn me, proud beauty!” he cried. The rich old maid fell for the “proud beauty” stuff of course, just as he calculated.

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| t ———_ YOU HAVE WON THE RAGE | PRESENT YOU WITH THIS. LOYNG WELL //M PRETTY TIRED BUT / GUESS Ny ILL TAKE IT THE GREAT CUP RACE Am Impression of An Automobile Race By DON HEROLD sé OP pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop — pop — pop — pop — pop — pop — pop pop — pop — pop — pop — pop — pop — pop — pop pop pop “pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop!” his isn’t somebody selling soft drinks at a ball game. Nor it a champagne party at the Ritzdorf. Nor is it a lost child uiling for its father. It is the great 600-Mile International Sweepstakes Gold Cup $300,000 Automobile Race. Anywhere. “Woot woof woof woof!” sounds just as much lik bark of an automobile as ‘* Pop — pop pop!’ but all th ce writers write it “* Pop pop pop pop!” and we not care to beg to differ. We are at the great race! It is the author’s desire to m you see it, hear it, and smell it. It’s a battle of cylinders. ‘* Pop — pop pop pop pop!” \ blue, streaky blur in front of grandstand “ A = and Phe in his Phewgeot has passed. doesn’t care about anything. race. But we shall see. He doesn’t care about a thing at Phew Some people say he will win th is a born daredevil. Hi that is sure the Gold Cup. Nothing, unless it is the great $300,000 purse a! His folks have always wanted a Gold Cup When Phew goes past, ninety thousand people, gasoli maniacs, stand up in their seats and yell until their throats an eyes and ears hurt, and the cars continue to whirl by. Me with muscles of vanadium steel and nerves of chrome nick: urge their fiery mounts on and on, and on and on, defyii leath, flirting with Fate, courting annihilation Che cars continue to whirl by * Pop pop pop pop pop pop pop!” What's-his-name has busted a tread, and wobbles into 1 pits, with the tire dragging in shreds behind him. Twenty-ni Ren J dollar tire gone to blazes. Ninety thousand people groan—t B is ahead and the Swedish demon in the alligator-looking ow neck-and-neck, or radiator-and-radiator Bill, our own American Bill, does not lose much time s, however. Half a dozen grimy assistants put on a n re before he has even stopped his car rhe gasolin cre rows a milk-can full of gasoline into the gasoline tank vicinity, and Bill takes a drink of tomato soup out of a syring ind a hypodermic injection of black coffee—and he is agall vith his muscles of vanadium steel and his nerves chrome nickel. (Bill has *em also.) The cars whizz by like bullets. All of them belch fire and smoke, some more than others. Each car sounds like a cannonade. The radiators are red hot, or nearly so. Luck seems against the Such-and-such team. One of their cars has left the track with a tubercular carburetor. Another is in the pits with a tangled transmission. And here comes the third down the track now, pushed by the driver and his mecha- nician. The motor has dropped out of their caron the back stretch! Mention should be made of the boys in the pits—the men behind the scenes of the great race—for it is true that many a big automobile race has been won at the pits. They have to be able to tell by the smell of a car half a mile away just what it will need when it stops next time. They have to know that No 31 needs a mustard plaster on the intake manifold, and have it all wet and ready, buttered side up, when 31 pulls in. The loss ol a second at the pits may mean the loss of the race for 31. Chere is no time for conversation like this at the pits: “Whatza matter with her, Henry?” *Durned if I know. She's been actin’ up for the last forty niles.” “What do you think we had better do?” “Search me. She’s got my goat. Give her a good going- over, and I'll walk over here and get a seegar.”’ But mercy! There’s a car on fire! The mechanician takes off his coat and vest and crawls on his hands and knees along the running-board of the car and smothers the fire at the risk of his life and of his coat and vest. \hnd now ninety thousand people stand up and yell, for the val fight is on. Pop — pop — pop — pop — pop — pop — pop — pop!” Che blowing of a tire will mean the loss of the race. “POP PZZZZZZZZLZZZ727.." What’s-his-name has blown a tire. The grandstand groans. —_- > | _ Penelope —Of course, you would never think of marrying Tom Gayly. He admitted in court that he struck his first wife ! Claire — Um, yes—but I never liked the woman !

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The other guy goes around a couple of times and then gets the checkered flag. He has won the great 600-Mile Inter- national Sweepstakes Gold Cup Race and the $300,000 prize! He did it with his cool head and his muscles of vanadium steel and his nerves of chrome nickel. Headwork won. We don’t always does. He runs around the great oval another time for extra measure, and then pulls into the pits. His companions cover his grimy face with a hundred kisses. You see, every- body has got pretty much worked up about the race. And the president of the race-track comes out and congratulates him and i hands him $300,000 and the great Gold Cup. know just how—but it He (the winner) smiles through the grime on the face and looks grateful for the $300,000 and looks as if he wondered what on earth he can do with the Gold Cup. It’s too big for any practical purposes. And ninety thousand people cheer, and start home, wondering what on earth a Gold Cup like that is good for. If If more of us said what we thought there would be less conversation on this mundane sphere. Mrs. Chameleon—My dear child, you Airish Folk McFee savys—*One of my notions of airish folk, and I have several, is the man who wants spring water all the must really be more careful! I’m sure I don’t know what Mr. Swiveleye thought this afternoon when you blushed such a horrid green in the pink drawing room ! Fishy “Ts he ambidextrous?” *“No, he can’t swim a stroke.” seasons of the year, and the woman who demands parlor matches for use in her kitchen.” Evidence HOUGH the lips of Marianne Speak but gracious platitude, Though her eyes on every man Resting bring beatitude, Though she scorn coquettish art Hope is flaming in my heart! Though her mother’s face be stern, Though her father worship gold, Sealing in a votive urn All the Sentiment of old, Clouds of terror all depart. Hope is flaming in my heart! When I led her to the car Breathing compliments, she smiled. Hope is now a blazing star Pulses all are running wild. Let the whole world understand; Marianne has pressed my hand! J. EE. Middleton. Easy! Father (sternly) — Don’t you ever worry about how you'll spend your old age? Prodigal—Why., time what Dad, by that else will I have to spend? dinner invitation) —Why, yes, This is really very charming of you. Reggie Van Peyster eageny ny unexpected rs. Willoughby.

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= NCE upon a time a man and his wife disagreed as to | THE ETERNAL COMPROMISE where they should go for By LYON the summer. The man favored the moun- tains. He said they could afford that better; that it was much more economical than the seashore, and that business had been bad for him that season. He said that they hadn’t the clothes to go parading on a boardwalk before the eyes of millionaires and discriminating bank clerks; that the salt air was not good for his throat, and that the doctor had recom mended the mountain air for him—a high, dry altitude, and all that sort of thing. He said he did not propose to go to the seashore, where they would have to change their clothes and jewels every half hour; that he was going away for a rest and not to be a holy show for every boardwalk and porch idler who happened to have the price of a week’s board. He said that there was fishing and hunting in the mountains, and good company, and that a pretty fair nine-hole course was nearby; that he knew a place where good pinochle players congregated, and where you were entitled to commit mayhem—by law—on the person of a partner who trumped your ace. He said that he never got a rest at the seashore—h« could not sleep in the daytime, and at night the murmur of the infernally sad sea waves kept him awake; that he hated salt water, and could not swim, anyway; that he always had a cold when he was there. He said that the glitter of the dowagers’ diamonds in the dining-room hurt and dazzled his eyes; that the chatter of the squabs was almost intolerable to him, and that these things were not so in the mountains, somehow, and if they were, one could always go off on a tramp, alone, into the solitary fastness and feast at the bounteous board of that well and favorably known Mother Nature, popularized by Walt Whitman and Gene Stratton Porter. He said that he was afraid of sharks, and the ocean was too green and out-of-drawing, anyway, and not like the polite drawing-room oceans he was accustomed to at art ex- hibitions; that his shoes were always full of sand and he was sick of always having a crease in his trousers and his mun pocket book. » C SAnTRAAN MARTA AN He said, moreover, that he did not care for the seashore and that he did like the mountains. and that they were going to the mountains for the summer. His wife remarked simply that she preferred to go to the Ms ii MEARSON ] seashore. So they compromised by going to the seashore. Moral: In an argument with his wife the best a man can get is the worst of it. The Marry Month of June Her—Why do you suppose so many girls set their weddings for June? Him—Yes, why pick on June? Pro-German Mrs. Flynt E. Biskett—I want to join the army. I think I'll enlist as a cook. F. E. B.—Sh-h! Hush, my dear. They’re arresting people for making threats against the army. June—Did she marry the chap with the large income ? Jack—The large income with the chap, would be more correct.

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Mix thoroughly, sprinkle well with adjectives, and serve in a four-hundred-page novel. made to realize that America will afford MERICA is supposed to be the ? es most democratic nationonearth; § ROYALTY’S RUSE | _ them no asylum other than Matteawan. but signs of quite an opposite character appear. One of these signs, for example, reads: “Insist on getting a Monarch”—and it shows the picture of a citizen examining the label of a shirt. That is what it plainly says. But shall we freemen supinely subject our backs to a monarch? Shall we, with our eyes ob- scured by the flimsiest idle tail, hold up our hands in help lessness while one slips upon us? And there are other utterances of the same tenor, in fact a most execrable tenor. Citizens are bidden to shackle their limbs with Royal Garters, and bind their feet with Regal Shoe- Strings, and endure upon their necks the galling yoke of rough- ironed collars from the Palace Laundry. This menace did not break out all at once. It began with a gradual propaganda to instil in our minds the poison of anti- equality. We were craftily called upon to revere Peerless Pickles and Nonpareil Face and Roach Powder. Commencing in this seemingly innocent manner, the monarchists have worked up to a point where they now tell us to permeate our inner natures with Imperial Vinegar and, like sycophants, keep ever upon our tongues Majestic Chewing Gum. Somebody will have to propose a law making this a crime. (It is so much more interesting to propose laws than to obey them.) While thrones are tottering in Europe, kings must be By LAWTON Let them read the writing on the wall, which says: “For all men Liberty Pajamas.” Yes, down with royal titles! Up, up to conspicuous places on the roofs, with titles such as “Democracy Soap,’”’ “Commonwealth Toothbrush,” “Toleration Toilet Water,” “‘Solidarity Union Suit,” “ Forever Free Collar Button,” and “Sic Semper Tyrannis, the Never- Fail Corn Cure.” VACKALL

=< The patient one—Say! I don’t mind you using me for a doormat, but I’m no shock absorber !

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— a THE CREDO OF A BENEDICK N Adam’s fall and Eve’s recall from Eden I believe Phat they raised Cain is all too plain, unless all signs deceive. Of Jonah’s whale—queer gastric tale!—I make no sort of doubt; Why should that fish its prophets wish to eat, let George find out \ll foodstuffs rare, both here and there, will have their ups and downs; And Daniel when in lions’ den no lion’s menu crowns In bold John Smith and all his kith, and Pocahontas, too; I do believe. Old Rip I grieve, and Hendrick Hudson’s crew If other myths and other Smiths there be, why, trot them out! Of Captain Kidd and treasure hid I cherish not a doubt Chat Christopher—skilled wanderer!—bound East did Westward sail, I no more doubt than they did flout in Denmark Doc Cook’s tale Should Science say to me, some day, “the moon’s made of green cheese,” I’d make reply: “Cured—to my eye—but have it as you please!”’ That men are apes, that lakes are capes—that’s easy to believe Show me the man believes he can—just once—his wife deceive! Vain, vain, my grief that my belief is after all so weak! Credulity goes back on me when most its aid I seek. What boots it, me, convinced to be that Lot’s wife turned to salt? One modern wife—full, full of life!—bids all my credos halt! Doth it avail that Jonah’s whale could swallow all I'd wish? She says to me—the essential she!—*‘ you didn’t wed a fish!” Our country *s dad evesight so bad!—could never tell a lie Our country’s dam convinced I am could spot one spot one on the fly! Old Pharoah’s host—the Red Sea’s boast—each fond belief, I'd slay, If I perceived my wife believed one word of all IT say! ilbert E. Hovt THE NOTION COUNTER By DOUGLAS MALLOCH KNOW a woman who is a Scientist and her husband isn’t, and she is a living testimony that mind certainly does control matter. The apotheosis of faith and forehandedness is buying a young man’s overcoat at a sale because you think you may sometime have a boy. When daughter rises from the table and begins to carry out the dishes, Mother wonders what she has been up to now. Mrs. Jones says that she wantg to vote now when so few women can, but she doesn’t care to do it after it becomes common. I like to observe the imp. rfections of others because then I quit having spasms of gooseflesh about myself If a pun is the lowest form of wit, then what form of litera- ture is the storyized moving picture? rhe children have been having measles, and now we know just how it feels to be interned About the time this is printed I shall be forty, and I can’t see the top of the hill yet. War at least gives us a sense of proportion: we quit reading the vaudeville critiques. \ lover in a novel doesn’t seem to have much time left for anything else. \ boy has hardly begun to be called a Mr. before he begins to think about a Mrs. One half of the world doesn’t live the way the other half thinks it knows. \ man is likely to use sharp words when he has to get them i] cdgewise. When it comes to liking to talk shop, nothing quite equals a housewife. \ patriotic shouter is good, Woman is the only animal that squeals when it is pleased. When a woman says she won't, 1 to 100 is a poor bet. Dut ; pat riotic¢ shooter is better. Many a good impulse can thank a bad deed. Still, comma, a wife is a great comfort. 2 lime waits for no man; but woman: MARRIED RT ae ane

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—— vw ‘Hl ieee Wi } AMBIGUOUS The youngster—I'm going to get married because I've enlisted. The senior—Yes> Well, I've enlisted because I’m married ! The Substitute After Alfred Tennyson By BURGES JOHNSON OME into the kitchen, Maud, For our bad black cook has flown. 6 Come into the kitchen, Maud. ’ I am here at the range alone. And the smell of burnt bacon is wafted abroad, And the smoke in my eyes has blown. There has fallen a storage egg From my hand to the waiting plate. Oh, take it from me, I beg, *Twas out of a last year’s crate. The toast seems to say “Don’t drop it here”— The coffee-pot moans, “It’s fate!” The saucepan shrinks from my hand in fear, And the puffed oats mutter “We wait.” Are you coming, my own, my sweet? Oh come and be cook instead! Pray hasten your laggard feet— Why, why did you linger in bed? , Fie gag pace ion Son— Father, that salesman says he traveled 32 miles : ‘ on one gallon of gas with that car. If you count upon me to fix something to eat Mr. Jones. — Then the hill he was coasting down must We'll feast upon prunes and bread. have been at least 25 miles long.

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— ar WALT MASON ~ Fronar- N JUNE the boys are being married, tied up secure and fast; and often at the church I’ve tarried, to see them roped at last. Old ties and friendships now are severed, and trembling is the groom; how he has struggled and en- deavored to dodge his frightful doom! A man may say, “I'll not be wedded, I'll let the altar slide; I’m surely not so leather-headed as to incur a bride. The girls are sweet, but I don’t need ’em, I have my work to do, and, doing it, I need my freedom, until my days are through. The wiles of damsels and of widders are sprung for me in vain; I'll laugh to scorn the female bidders, and thus be safe and sane.” We hear the young men idly prattle this kind of tommy rot, the while the girls are lined for battle, their motto “ Falter Not!” They mark the man who’s loudly swearing a bachelor he’ll be, and on his trail they’re briskly faring, with an unholy glee. And so upon a bright June morning we see him quit his work; his person with glad rags adorning, he hastens to the kirk. And by his side there is a maiden of most distinguished charm, with flowers and snowy vestments laden; he leans upon her arm. She does not hesitate nor falter, nor let him get away; she drags him boldly to the altar, the fateful words to say. And while the mob is staring coarsely, the girl is made his frau; ‘With all my junk,” he whispers hoarsely, “‘I do this peach endow.” Oh, let the bells be gayly ringing! Ring, sexton, strain your back! A lot of girls this month are bringing their victims to the rack! Ring out the bells, the chimes are splendid, far let their music roam! The hunt is done, the chase is ended, ’tis now the harvest home! Oh, pastor, don your snow white raiment, and greet the girls who win; they’ve done the work, they get their payment they've roped their young men in! Two Kinds Mistress—Do you know how to serve company? New girl—Yessum; either way. V istress—Either way! New girl—Yessum; so’s they'll come again or so’s they won't. AN INTERESTING EPISODE ‘“FTHERE wasn’t anything special going on in town,”’ said Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark., upon his return from the county seat. ‘Things there is just snailing along, and—— Come to think, though, I did sorter mingle in an anecdote that was tollable interesting. A couple of gents came tumbling down stairs from the rooms over the post- office, fighting like wildcats. Somebody said that one of ’em was a German dentist and the other a customer of his’n, and that when they arriv’ at the bottom of the stairs the dentist still had his pinchers hooked onto the tooth of his prey, but I wasn’t close enough to see. Anyhow, it ’peared to be the general impression that after getting into the chair the other gent started to debate with the German dentist about whether or not the Kaiser was a cuss, or something that-a-way. Aw, well, he may have been right about it in the’ry, but I’d say off- hand that he selected a poor place to prove it. “But, ’tennyrate, they adjourned down the stairs and went over and under for quite a spell, and then sorter drifted apart and went to shooting at each other, which, prob’ly, they ort to have done in the first place. When I finished my trading and clumb into the wagon, the sheriff was shooting at both of ‘em. It was getting along towards dusk and I didn’t stay to see how it came out. The crowd ’peared to—yaw-w-w-wn!— take it good naturedly, so I don’t reckon I missed much by not staying.” —Tom P. Morgan. A Veteran ‘ Officer—Do you think you would be able to storm an enemy’s trench? Recruit—Well, | used to get across Broadway every morning when they were building the subway. -——— intel : “Say, Mother, what keeps us from falling off the earth when we're upside down ?” “ Why, the law of gravity.” “ But how did we stay on before that law was passed >?” 0 Ee eer

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Fy Le ae BLOODY WAR Mr. Tompkins hasn't considered the matter very seriously—as yet—but thinks that for a man of his temperament, the—er—cavalry branch would be the best. AS IT MIGHT BE By S. E. KISER HE scandals would be small and few, And there would be few heartaches, too, If no man were inclined to dare To do things which he would not care To have his wife or sister do. The world would have more shame, by far, More hate would spread, more sins would mar The loveliness which makes us glad, If women always were as bad As other women think they are. The Dolt! Jess—She got mad, and asked him what he meant by kissing her. Bess—Not exactly. She asked him —and he said he didn’t mean anything— and then she got mad. Sometimes Abstinence is sometimes the shrinking of the timid and sometimes the remorse of the reckless. His Boast The Last Man boasted “I’m the only person who can leave a will nobody wants to break,”’ he cried. Next of Kin Her father — My daughter, sir, sprang from a line of peers. Her steady—Well, I jumped off the dock once. Good Scheme Willis—What do you think of this scheme of planting vegetables on part of the golf- courses of the country? Gillis—Fine. A fellow will be able to finish his game without even going back to the club-house for lunch. TO THE RESCUE

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etait The Care of By THOMAS aii O MUCH depends, not S only upon how your neighbor’s garden looks, but upon how much you are going to get out of it, that you cannot be too careful in its selection. Just at the moment when you most need fresh vegetables or flowers, your neigh- bor’s garden may fail you. Your neighbor may be a careless or tardy man, or your own hens may hurt the garden more than is desirable for your needs. These considerations show how su- premely important the right kind of a neighbor’s garden is. Your neighbor should be, preferably, a generous whole- souled man, one who is constantly thinking of others and whose family is so small that his garden supplies much more than is needed forthem. He should also be a man with an open mind, amenable to suggestion. If, for example, he is not particularly fond of sweet corn, but you are, then he should be a man who, upon persuasion, will plant sweet corn; in short, a man to whom you can give the greatest pleasure only when accepting from him the things he has come to learn that you must prefer. From your own favorite window seat you should be able to look down upon your neighbor’s garden. It is highly im- portant, therefore, that the color scheme should be correct and according to your temperament. The necessary vegetables should be disposed of in the background. Your favorite flowers should be in the foreground.

Your Neighbor’s Garden silt GOAN AAA Le Aas A LEME PN To do all this, you should call on your neighbor early in the season, and go over with him in detail the plans of his On en I MASSON = ymin garden. Only by being before- hand can you be sure of the right results. Furthermore, when your neighbor strikes it right, and gets everything to suit you, you should praise him up properly. This elevates his spirit and ambition and provides for the com- ing year. Nothing is sadder than to have on your hands a neighbor too much discouraged because he has failed to please you. Overlook his minor faults. Keep up his enthusiasm. Upon one point, however, you should be quite firm. Insist that your neighbor have in his garden a bed of mint, a bed of parsley and a bed of asparagus. Fresh asparagus is absolutely necessary at certain seasons to a well cultivated mind. With- out your neighbor’s parsley—a constant reminder of his good- your table will look too bare. And you will certainly require mint for your roast lamb and your pet cats. ness Piano and Forte HE pupils had reached that stage in their music lessons where it was necessary for the teacher to instruct them as to the various signs used to designate expression. After a short lecture on the subject she said: “Now, you all understand that ‘p’ means that it stands for ‘piano.’ “Yes, teacher,”’ the pupils replied in ‘ softly ’ and

Orderly — Lieut.—Sergeant Muggsy says his right wing's in danger an’ he wants another division. Chief of staff — All right. he dast come out.

a» A ),(s¥¥ <” Run over to Spider Kelly's an’ ask his mother concert. ‘**And now, what does ‘f’ stand for?” The smallest boy in the class, who, however, seemed to have the loudest voice, quickly replied: “Fiddle.” * THE SLOT MACHINE 7 By McLANDBURGH WILSON SOMETIMES think the moon so bright A coin within the slot of night.

¥ a For of a sudden it is gone, And then I wonder what is drawn.

Did angels telephone afar And talk to some long distance star? Did cherubim who wished a treat Employ it to extract a sweet? Did seraphs go with eager ear That strains of music they might hear? Or does the meter give, we pray, Illumination for the day?

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Hints for Campers OU always find that the pretty girl in the next camp is engaged, and her intended is sure to have come along with the bunch. Never select the site to pitch the tent, because it always turns out to be the wrong ‘location and everybody puts the blame on you. When the rest of the party don’t com- plain of your cooking you may be sure that they are very polite or else you are a natural-born chef. After the first rainstorm you realize that a waterproof tent means about as much as painless dentistry, tasteless codliver oil, unbreakable umbrella, non-sinkable boat and other pleasant fictions. If you are camping out with your wife, don’t peg down the tent permanently until you know for sure next day that she doesn’t want it moved to another place. If you haven’t brought your stores with you and depend on the old farmer for your provisions, you will find your money run out long before your holiday is over. When the tent has blown down and you have at last got it up again, don’t console yourself with the thought that it might have been worse until you make sure that the kerosene hasn’t run over the coffee, the salt mixed itself with the sugar and the frying-pan got spiked when it hit and broke the can-opener. There are always plenty of things for the camper to do, and he never finds time to keep the diary, write the letters and read the books he promised himself to do. J.J. O'Connell. Tip to the Marines lg I were sailing across the sea And a “sub,” with fiendish, Germanic glee Should sink my gallant boat, The life preservers I'd scorn, by cripes, And wrap myself in the Stars and Stripes, Which will forever float! —Lee Shippey. ON’T them! Some people love the opera, and some sleep better at home. The difference between a liability and your wife and the other marry your friends; keep an asset is fellow’s. Love makes a young girl old and an old girl young. Is it the elasticity of youth that makes some children so snappy? Rare perfection is bluff more than well done. The gratitude of most people is but a secret desire to receive future benefits. Some blessings are so disguised that even un- masked we fail to recognize them. Some people are witty and some are merely a joke. make a date she A girl might with a man for wouldn’t give a fig. It’s rarely the man who is long winded who has a breezy manner. We are not so anxious to speed the parting guest when she is dressed in the mantle of prosperity. To live without have died young. Hope is the reflection cour- age the mirror of failure. Most girls can talk volumes without sitting ina library. When a woman has lost her figure she has generally gained it. The man who over-indulges in an artistic bent usually gets broke. In the school called Life, the Dreamer is the Dunce. —Violet M. Le Roy. whom love is to sees in ANY are getting reputations from the Great War. Will these keep the reputations or make the keep them? reputations Late and Dull “Since your son returned from college I suppose he gets up bright and early every morning?” “He doesn’t do either.” Many People Many people think they are terribly abused when they are merely getting what is coming to them. Newcomer (suddenly awakened)—W-what was that ? Old hand—An eight-inch shell. “Thank goodness! I was dreaming I was home tryin’ to fire the cook.”

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JUDGE’S ARTISTIC ALPHABET IS FOR EDROP, I think. With other utensils and ink He can brighten a spot, And enliven the plot With a speed that makes editors blink. IS FOR flourishing FLAGG, A versatile artist and wag. Familiarly Jim, His ardor and vim And talents seem never to JARED MORTGOMERY FLacG l ag. FOR F. FITHIAN surely; Can country clubs flour- ish obscurely When with artistry keen lle appears on the Scene Or colleges side step se- fipun — curely? BACON AND EGGS AND NEWPORT NEWPORT groceryman has burbled the amazing infor- A mation that society of today is stingy—that it doesn’t order fancy things for the table any more, but eats bacon and eggs for breakfast and similarly filling and plebeian combinations at other meals. Although the groceryman didn’t intend it as such, this is the first thing that has been said in favor of society in many years. If it is true that society is eating bacon and eggs by electric light at six o’clock in the morning, just before the hard day’s work begins, it is a sign that, as Dr. Nicholas Murray Eliot used to put it at Brown, society is getting hep to itself. It was not so many years ago that Dr. David Starr Hadley, of Leland Amherst University, delivered a memorable address in which he said that, as long as our rich people continued to eat foolish and expensive and indigestible meals, just so long our so-called upper crust would continue to give us indigestion as a nation. As a result of this plain speaking, the professor lost seven millions to the university in the form of donations that would otherwise have come from rich society alumnae, but he was compensated in hearing several loud cheers from the Socialist corner. Two Anarchists from the bohemian stratum of New York even sent their children to the professor’s uni- versity as a result of that one speech. Their tuition went unpaid, and they were a dead loss to the university, but they were the only Anarchists in the possession of any higher educational institution, and the other schools were simply wild with jealousy. Society, however, paid little attention to the criticism, and continued to eat gimcrack salads and to have its meats cooked in olive oil by French chefs. It paid seven or eight times what its food was worth, and asked no questions. As a result the groceryman prospered. He found it easy to shove up the price of anything that had a foreign label on it, because society never protested. But now we find society, in spite of its sudden access of wealth through war stocks, going back to plain things in the matter of eating. When a social leader gives a banquet, a stack of wheat cakes is set in front of each guest. The ham sandwich is making its way in the most aristocratic circles. rhe pork chop is being heard from at Newport as never before. The flank steak, and the piece of shoulder which ought to be just as good as the leg of lamb but isn’t, are being substituted by the lady of the house for the porterhouse steak and the rib roast which the butler brought 1n as dinner suggestions. Po- tatoes are being boiled with the jackets on, as a means of dis- couraging the kitchen girls who are bound te peei the things too thick. Confronted by such plain fare, of course it is the first inclina- tion of the householder to take off his coat. No man can face a dish of ham and eggs and not feel like peeling off his dinner jacket before he wades in. It is just as natural to eat such things in one’s shirtsleeves as it is to breathe. As a result it will not be surprising to hear that shirtsleeve-ham-and-egg banquets are now the mode in society. Then will come a revival of the corn-cob pipe, or the after-dinner smoke, and economy may gradually extend to all other branches of society life. The man who has just finished a meal of country sausage and buckwheats, instead of grapefruit and a bite of toast and a sip of coffee, is going to feel strong enough to do his own chauffeuring. The Monday dinner of corn beef and cabbage is quite likely to inspire all Newport with a craze to do its own laundry work. In fact, now that the economy wave has been started, there is no telling where it will stop. Perhaps the Newport grocer who makes the plaint about the stinginess of society is all unknowingly the press agent of the millennium. ' —Arthur Chapman. The Easiest Way Bride—Don’t you think that a woman can be happy if she will just believe everything her husband tells her? Wife—Yes, and doesn’t tell him everything that she believes. A Pretty Good Reason “Why is Miss Debbytant so eager to enlist in the Red Cross?” “She tried on a nurse’s costume and she looks just lovely in it.”

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Born 1820 ws —still going strong. The Critic: “ ‘APPAREL OFT PROCLAIMS THE MAN.’ ”’ The Super-Critic: “True. Tuat’s wuy ‘Jounnre Wacker’ Rep LaBeL Is KNOWN AS THE WHISKY OF GOOD TASTE.” Every drop of Red Label is over 10 years old before released from bond. GUARANTEED SAME QUALITY THROUGHOUT THE WORLD. Agents: WILLIAMS & HUMBERT, 1158 Broadway, NEW YORK. JOHN WALKER & SONS, Lrtp., Wuisxy Distitters, KILMARNOCK, ScotLanp. YL IM

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Ainslee's American Magazine Century Christian Herald Collier's Weekly Every Week The Economy of M. agazine A dvertising What we are driving at here is the inexpensiveness of Mag- azine Advertising, not a study in economics. If, as manufacturer or mer- chant, you wish to reach the families in your neighborhood, you walk around to see them. [f you want to cover your en- tire town, you hire some one to help. If you want to make a selling unit out of your State, you send out traveling men. If you are marketing a prod- uct nationally, you have your Sales Department, and Colo- rado is just the same to you as Connecticut. In Magazine Advertising you measure out your money to suit conditions. You may select magazines which will furnish practically any service you need. Those weekly and monthly magazines which cover the country like a blanket give you a national service of publicity. ‘There are others which appeal to particular kinds of people- same sort of folks in many different parts of the country. Then again there are maga- zines which restrict them- selves in circulation to certain parts of the country, and others to similar types of communities. Study is need- ed, and advice, to determine just what magazines will be most effective for given pur- poses. PERIODICAL FIFTH AVENUE

Farm and Fireside Garden Magazine Good Housekeeping Harper's Bazar Harper's Magazine Continert Hearst's Cosmopolitan House and Garden Country Life Independent Countryside Magazine Judge Leslie’s Weekly eb i AE et Aa aR PUBLISHERS’ (ADVERTISING BUILDING Literary Digest Red Cross Magazine Review of Reviews St. Nicholas Then, there are factors which are common to all magazines. For example, they have long life. ‘They live from an entire week to four or more. They are accessible on reading ta- bles for days and days—the same magazines. Even when succeeding numbers come, the life of previous issues is not over; magazines are “passed along,” and do duty with ad- ditional people. Hardly any magazine is a one-man or a one-woman proposition. They are bought with the whole family’s interest in view, and nowadays a family’s assort- ment of magazines furnishes father, mother and the chil- dren just the sort of reading matter they like most. Magazine Advertising, then, through the intimacy and di- rectness of its appeal,as well as permanency, has an efh- cient and lasting commercial value. It has adaptability, in that it may be trained directly upon certain types, classes or communities. It adds pres- tige and standing to products, on account of the very strict ‘*entrance examinations,’ which every osticle featured in Magazine Advertising must pass before it is accepted. It builds and holds Good Will. It creates and maintains mar- kets. Are you using Magazine Ad- vertising in your business? ASSOCIATION DIVISION) NEW YORK CITY Scribner's McCall's Short Stories Metropolitan Smith's Mother's Magazine Something- To-Do National Geographic Sunset Outlook To-day's Housewife Popular Vanity Fair Vogue World's Work LAE ARABI NA lls A EP A RN

Woman's Home Companion

lt Aa HN Wl tM

a

JUD

Foreign Humor

“Siehst, Sopherl: haetten wir noch ein Stuendchep im Lokal gesessen, dann haett’ dir Bengel sich besser ausge -ruht und du brauchtest ihn jetzt nicht zu tragen,” *Ja. dann haett’ ich aber dichnimmer heim ge. bracht.’ “Do you see, Sopherl. If we'd have stayed another hour in the café then the boy could have rested a little more and you wouldn’t Ves, able to carry you home.” have to be carrying him now.” but then I wouldn’t have been Meggendorfer Blaetter (Munich). Waiter

? Ss? ' Ane" se ; WW Ze yy 2 Ee Wes ere 2 Wg. +2 es i <I 4 Asking Too Much Alas, monsieur, the war—— Billjim—Y airs, I know all about the war; but, blimy, you don’t expect me to pay the whole bloomin’ indemnity, Bulletin. do yer?—Sydney

Old lady—Run out to the man in the cart and get change. Diminutive war worker—But I am the man in the cart!—London Opinion.

W On! like n accoul Fiai dear; Froth. It § aeropl young Fe “you "Wid - ae Ge. +, 3 ‘f , } v¥ he ~u st <~. “T¢ a beau “An breath Unit awful full dr ‘Ye pecial] W idou No social Fr ra mouth Mu a little Eng Owl. She her, br wantir San are yo Dor loping c_———_ 50

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J DGE Or uendchen ch besser | tragen. heim ge. d have 1en the ind you ow.” e been idorfer- — e war; ay the y vdney e cart n the une 2, 1917 With the College Wits Only Engaged—Wubel—How do you like my new hat that I bought on your account ? Fiancé—On my account? dear; this is still on your dad. Froth. It Sets One Up—'‘Is it easier to fly an geroplane near the sea?’’ cooed the sweet young thing. " “Ves.” replied the aviator thoughtfully, “vou see the air is so much more bracing.” Not yet, my Penn State "—_W idow. “I dreamed last night that I proposed to 1 beautiful girl,” he confided. “And what did I say?” breathlessly.—7 ger. she queried Unfortunate Attachment—‘ I’m in an awful stew. Jim borrowed the beit to my full dress suit.”’ “Get another belt.” “Yes, but the pants were around the belt.” —Froth. Invariably—*A short cut often takes the longest,"" quoth the sage. “Ves,” replied the cheerful idiot, ‘‘es- pecially at the barber shop.”—Cornell Widow. No Quarter!—C /rollie—I shall be in the social eye next wintah. Ferdi« Aw ves, haw! mouth Jack o’ Lantern. Dart- Social eye. Multum in Parvo—Frosh—Surveying a little? Engineer-—No! Surveying a lot.—Sour Owl. She Does—aA girl may not let you kiss her, but the chances are she appreciates your wanting to.—7 ger. Sanitary Engineering—Dormer—Why are you putting your birthday candy away? Dormee—So as not to expose it to gal- loping consumption.—V idow. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER , “Its purity has made it famous.” oe the case of six glass stoppered bottles. (Adv.) Twenty Million Miles of Telephone Wire The telephone wire in use in the Bell System is long enough to run from the earth to the noon and back again forty times. The Bell System has about twice as much telephone wire as all Europe. More than 500,000 new telephones are being added to the Bell System yearly —almost as many as the total number of telephones in England. In twelve months the Bell System adds enough telephones to duplicate the entire telephone systems of France, Italy and Switzerland combined. In proportion to population the extension of the Bell System in the United States is equal in two years to the total telephone progress of Europe since the telephone was in- vented—a period of about forty years. The Bell System fills the telephone needs of the American people with a thoroughness and a spirit of public service which are without parallel the world over. poms AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY ‘Ba: AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES B.0., ae e . . wae One Policy One System Universal Service ‘“‘War Babies” "THIS amusing picture in full colors, 9 x 12, mounted on a _ heavy mat, ready for the frame, will be sent postpaid for twenty-five cents ‘ Judge Art Print Department 225 Fifth Avenue New York City

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ip $767 i: Material 5 For This as NO MONEY iN ADVANCEI pd BS ayy

A Favorite Club Call A good Rye has the call at the club. Old Overholt Rye **Same for 107 Years’’ Blends fine with charged and other waters. Made from straight Pennsylvania Rye. Aged in the wood, bottled in bond. A. Overholt & Co. Pittsburgh, Pa.

\ J I 1 ? Wy Legs Straight? : If not, our latest invention will make them appear straight and trim; weight, z. Commended by tailors, by men of fashion, by military, professional and business men everywhere Sent on approval. Particulars mailed sealed. ALISON ©0., Dept. K, Buffalo, N. ¥.

ROMEIKE’ PRESS CUTTING BUREAU We will send you all newspaper clippings which may appear about you, your friends, or any subject on whichyou may want to be “up-to-date."" Every news- paper and periodical of importance inthe U nitedStates and Europe is searched. Terms, $5.00 for 100 notices. HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 SEVENTH AVE., N.Y.

OPPORTUNITY By MAURICE SWITZER in The Kant Slip PPORTUNITY, thing! Whose potency is praises poets sing, I launch upon thy head this tirade of abuse, Thou friend of Failure, thou ready-made Excuse, thou vague, uncertain preached, whose Thou specious, tinsel Idol, Wizard, Witch or Fay, To whom the wistful Dreamer and the Lazy, pray! Thou over-rated, false, delusive Golden Calf, At whom the practical and the courageous laugh! How much, O Opportunity, hast thou done For those whose deeds have Fame’s immortal chaplet won? Did not this Western World lay in the self-same spot For countless centuries ere Noah was begot? And had Columbus idly sat in slothful ease Or had he wooed thy favor on his bended knees, Instead of stiffening beneath frustration’s blow- Tell me, would he have found this continert, or no? And what important part, if any, didst thou play, When old Ben Franklin, on that memorable day In June, with silken kite and iron key did wrest The great Electric Secret from the storm king’s breast? \nd Bonaparte, in Corsica’s secluded isle— Didst thou always upon his enterprises smile? Or did he sally forth and with relentless lust, Resistless will—and skill—grind kingdoms in the dust? And Watt? Did he dream Of wondrous, new await thy knock and idly and mighty engines run by steam? Or did he toil until his dream came true?—and Howe Lincoln— Morse industry, or thou? what won for them? their So, scan the galaxy of illustrious dead Or living, O Opportunity, and hide thy head! Wherefore I sing to Will, to Judgment and to Pluck, And not to thee, Luck! for thou art merely twin to Shear Steal nL ta ite CM No Escape—‘I understand your auto- mobile has gotten you into trouble.” “It’s always getting me into trouble one way or another,” replied Mr. Chuggins. “When it runs, I get arrested for speeding. When it refuses to run, I get arrested for profanity.’’—Washington Star. Maybe So—‘ Game and fish pieces used to be the thing for the dining-room.”’ “Well?” ““T suppose the artists of the next genera- tion will depict substitutes for meat and va- rious foodines.’’—Kansas City Journal. Literal—*“ Were you out in all that rain,”’ asked the plain girl. “No,” said her educated friend. “I was merely in that portion of the rain that de- scended in my immediate vicinity.””—Liver- pool Post. JUDG

JUDGE next week will have a Red, White and Blue cover by ORSON LOWELL entjtled “From One Soil’’ Other illustrations by R. F. SCHABELITZ C. BERTRAM HARTMAN WESTMACOTT | ZIM CALVERT SMITH KEMBLE | | SANFORD TOUSEY | LAURA E. FOSTER HAMILTON WILLIAMS

C. W. KAHLES WALTER de MARIS AGNES LEE R. B. FULLER H. PALMER FLOHRI CHESTER I. GARDE F. L. FITHIAN And others The Text is by His Honor’s Humorists, including WALT MASON | S. E. KISER LOU RAB H. W. DEE MORRIS WADE BERTON BRALEY DOUGLAS MALLOCH CAROLYN WELLS TOD CHENEVIX WITTER BYNNER And others who steadily make JUDGE ‘“‘The Happy Medium’’

Copyright, 1916, by Leslie-Judge Company Entered at the Post-office at Ne »w York as second-ciass mail matter Cable address “Judgark.” Telephone 6632 Madison Square Published weekly by Leslie-Judge Company, Brunswick Building, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York. Washington Representative Wyatt Building, Washington, D. C. John A. Sleicher, Preside nt. Reuben P. Sleicher, Sec} Rollauer, Treasurer. Y | Grant E. Hamilton, Art Director. J. A. Waldron, Editor

SUBSCRIPTION RATES One year, 52 numbers — — $5 .00 Six months, or 26 numbers 2.50 Thirteen weeks 1.25 Payable in advance or by draft on New York, or by express postal order. The contents of JUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. If JUDGE cannot be found at any newsstand, the publishers wil be under obligations if that fact be promptly reported on postal | ecard or by letter | BACK NUMBERS: Present year, 10 cents per copy; 19l6 | 10 cents; 1915, 20 cents, ete. : | Postage free in the United States, its dependencies, and Mexie To Canadian Provinces add 50 cents a year for postage; to al foreign countries add $1.00 a year. WESTERN ADVERTISING ar tn E Marquette Bobaee - Ch cago, oe NEW ENGLAND ADVERTISING OFFIC Tremont Building - - Boston

June On t Tha Step] Ev'ry) Must But Whe! For | 1 Whe! Then For t Neve But ; Does He i He is Work Life Man On tl Do 3 Of th Are } Are y —Do SI your a the I Free Ju cult “~~ Thos doin; Jour E) beha sl it us weak H by h Milo “< clain

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UDG Blue BLE RIS rhers ding .DE JER press of oth the ers wil posta! 1916, | Texico. to a XLIM June 2, 1917 ewan PM Cm Manan, mn mon OCU ‘a E Passing the Mustard Keep Your Ears Ahead On the tote-road, on the street, on the trail or tram, Ihave known a hoss or two, teamster that I am: Steppers with Kentucky blood, ordinary plugs, Ev'ry kind of animile ever wearin’ tugs; Mustang pony, Percheron, goer, thoroughbred— But the only hoss worth while kept his ears ahead. When a plug becomes a plug ain’t when he gits old; For a plug may be a plug from the day he’s foaled. When a critter to the back slants them ears of his, Then you know the bloomin’ brute, know the brute he is. For he’ll either bite or balk, loaf, or bolt instead; Never trust a hoss unless he keeps his ears ahead. But a hoss that is a hoss, of the proper kind, Doesn’t listen all the while for the whip behind. He is lookin’ down the road, sniffin’, and all that— He is takin’ interest in the work he’s at. Work is joy to such a nag, farm or fancy bred; Life is somethin’ to a hoss that keeps his ears ahead. Man is somethin’ like a hoss, with his work to do. On the tough old trail of life how is it with you? Do you put your shoulder then in the collar square? Of the load we have to pull, do you pull a share? Are you full of pep and steam, or is your spirit dead? Are you livin’ in the past, or are your ears ahead? —Douglas Malloch, in the American Lumberman. She Thought Not—‘Do you think your father will object to my marrying you?”’ “T don’t think so. He has just received the bills for my new spring outfit.’’—Detroit Free Press. Just So—‘* What has become of the old cult for plain living and high thinking?”’ “Ought to be stronger than ever now. Those who are forced to plain living are doing some tall thinking.”—Kansas City Journal. Encouraged—‘‘How’s your motor car behaving?” “Well,” replied Mr. Chuggins, “the way it uses gasoline shows that while it may be weak in spots, its appetite is all right.” —Washington Star. Her Wish—Ethel surprised her mother by her interest in a statue of the Venus de Milo. “Oh, I wish I was that lady,” she ex- claimed. “Why; dear?” her mother asked. “’Cause then people wouldn’t always be saying to me: ‘Don’t bite your nails, dear.’’"—New York Times. Nervous Dyspepsia—‘‘What’s the trouble with you?” “Kind of a nervous dyspepsia, I sup- pose. Every time I think of what my Every lover of a good cocktail should insist that Abbott’s Bitters be used in making it; insures your getting the very best. C. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md (Adv.) a “| te appealing excellence is the result of the master- touch: in brewing science applied to the finest, most vigorous and healthful cer- eals and hops. Bottled at the Brewery ANHEUSER-BUSCH ST. LOUIS FOR the best photograph appearing on its pages each month, Leslie’s will offer a prize of $25.00; for the second best $15.00; and for third $10.00. The prize pictures and all others accepted by the editors will be paid for at the regular rates. Photographs will be judged by Leslie’s editors on News Interest Reproduction Qualities Promptness in Sending ~ Size of Print Anyone may send pictures and there are no conditions except that the print must not be submitted else- where at the same time. Remember, if the picture is accepted, whether it wins a prize or not, it will be used and paid for at the usual rates. If copyrighted, written copyright release must accompany photo. Leslie’s wants news pictures and wants them quickly Address EDITOR LESLIE’S, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City

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ou The Simplest iy Way es ~ to End a Corn 4 AH ECIDE nowtomas- ~ i ter your corn for- * ever. Let today’s corn be the last. Blue-jay will free you from the ’ most painful corn. Apply _» one of these soothing plas- 2 \ ters tonight. Pain ends. ~7 ’ In 48 hours the corn dis- ~~ ' appears. Only Blue-jay i gives this insurance. Par- ing is temporary. Harsh liquids are dangerous. Millions of corns are ended the Blue-jay way. Most corns re- guire but one application. An occasional stubborn one, two orthree. Try the gentle, sim- ple Blue-jay way tonight. You will never be the victim of corns again. BAUER & BLACK naa Chicago and New York fe Makers of Surgical Dressings, etc. watt ee | Stops Pain—Ends Corns Sold by all druggists ee | Also Blue-jay Bunion Plasters & Fae bam CARBONA Cleaning Fluid White and fancy colored kid shoes and cloth uppers are not hard to clean if you use Carbona. Ready to wear instantly. Carbona cannot explode 15c 25c 50c $1 At all druggists Pe “MADE AT KEY WEST— > dinner is going to cost I get nervous.’ —Weashington Star. Too Highbrow—‘I intend to enjoy some piscatorial diversion tomorrow.” “Oh, professor, why do you want to bother with such highbrow things? Come with us on our fishing party..’"—Baltimore American. Didn’t Deserve It—‘‘I don’t think I deserve zero on this examination,”’ said the pupil, as he took his geometry papers. “No, I do not either, John, but that was the lowest I could give you,” said the teacher.—C hristian Herald. IF NOAH HAD MISSED THE BOAT Ry DONALD GEORGE The massive gates of circumstance on tiniest hinges turn, How chance has swayed the world’s events from history we learn. The wea\ ing ola spider’s w eb to Scotland saved King Bruce; And e’en great Rome was spared one day by cac kling of a goose. Napoleon at Waterloo just missed it by an ace, \nd women chose our President because they liked his face. But of all things that might have been there’s one that gets my goat— It's what a droll world this would be if Noah had missed the boat. CHORUS When I observe some people’s nerve \nd human nature note, I almost wish I were a fish And Noah had missed the boat. Il a he genus homo, as a Trace, sO many types could spare The man who Says “T told you so,”’ you find him everywhere. rhe dub who tries to drive a car as soon as he can crank, The fellow who's for “ prohibish”’ but keeps a private tank, he war-bride snob who talks finance but really is a gink, rhe woman with a ballot, fa cing man without a drink, Thé Congressman from Hunky-Dunk who leads the pork bar’l vote \ll these would in the discard be if Noah had missed the boat. ITT. rhe pacifist from Way back town, vith putty for a spine, Who thinks it is enough defense to guard Missouri's line rhe lady with the pretty knee whose skirt is just a freak, The man who sold his stock *“‘ by chance’ the day there came the leak, The bore who must explain to you just how the war began, The guy that raised the living cost the tired business man), The movie too décolleté with faint costumes remote— Would mere hallucinations be if Noah had missed the boat. ’ CHARLES M. SCHWAB Sweeping On To Better Salesmanship President Wilson, addressing the first World’s Salesmanship Congress a year ago, said:— “With the thought that you are Americans who carry liberty and justice and the principles of hu- manity wherever you go, go out and sell goods that will make the world more comfortable and more happy, and convert everyone to the prin- ciples of America.” That is the inspiration—the high ideal—of the second World’s Sales- manship Congress, to be held June 10-14 at Detroit, and opened by Charles M. Schwab, one of the world’s master salesmen. To foster Better Business, through Better Salesmanship. Forty-five clubs— 15,000 individual salesmen are now permanently enlisted under that banner. They have the guidance of the really big men of American industry. They are thinking of, and working for, Better Business now as never before. The second congress will be a big, concrete exposition of sales methods and improvements inthem. It will be intensely practical, immensely valuable. Come to Detroit. Send the coupon now, that accom- modations may be arranged for you. World’s DETROIT Salesmanship |J UNE Congress 10-14 D. M. Barrett, Secretary-Manager, World’s Salesmanship Congress, Kresge Bldg., Detroit, Mich. I will attend the Congress. CCE EERE HEHEHE EOE B notec erstw force T Univ traile class. = 1 also f erty | L as on do w - a) war, deleg T the I than wom T the e only of th a lot “Vy who ; marr upon must the i AS looke they I abou attac add | an e] a fev in tl E the | chee: food less I

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UDGE the ress are and hu- and rid Py, ‘in- igh les- eld 1ed the igh ive ler lly ng er 2g, ill ly une 2, 1917 THE MODERN. WOMAN Suffrage Facts and Fancies By INNA CADOGAN ETZ Be It Noted E it noted: The dental fraternity to which all would-be dentists aspire to membership, and the name of which I would give if I could spell it, anc to which no mere female has ever been admitted: Be it noted, this revered association is listed now as but one more bailiwick erstwhile masculine into which women have thrust themselves by the sheer force of irresistible merit. The leading lady emerged from the portals of the dental school of Ohio University. She not only bore the torch for women into new territory but trailed ahead in her professional attainments of every member of her class. Lost per: In the big fact that women in Arkansas were given the right to vote at primary elections by the legislature, the fact that they were also given by the same legislature the right to practise law and equal prop- erty rights with men. Lost: In the overwhelming fact that the Nova Scotia Legislature voted as one man to give full suffrage to women, that it also voted to let woman do what she was not allowed to do before: practise law. Due to a Sobless Sob UST because early press reports indicated that Jeannette Rankin sobbed asob, that later reports admitted she never sobbed, as she voted against war, clergymen at a recent Episcopal convention voted to exclude women delegates. To his credit be it noted that one soldier enrolled under the banner of the Prince of Peace exclaimed, ** Better one woman whose heart failed her than twenty men whose brains failed them,” but it availed the would-be women delegates nothing The woman office-holder must be like Casar’s wife, above reproach in the eye of the twenty million and more men voters. She must satisfy not only the moral scruples but the most finicky taste of every blooming one ofthem. Of all masculine habits, the most deep-seated is the one of asking a lot of women. It is to Rise for Information ey HY can’t I vote?” asked the wife from everywhere. “Because,”’ answered people from all around, “it is the husband who does the fighting for the family and he it is who should do the voting.” Under the first draft of the new conscription law it is reported that The women of the nation are being called Women married men are to be exempt. upon to be as heroic and self-sacrificing as any exempt class can be. They must do their bit. must not whimper. If I am big why can’t I whittle?” asks “Why can’t I cry if I am little. the inquiring boy in a jingle all children love. * Just so,”’ echoes the wife from everywhere. All Hail to the American Housewife MERICAN housewives shivered and curled up spiritually like a cur- rant worm that is blighted when a certain high government official looked them sternly in the eye, newspaperly speaking, and told them that they were wasting food at the rate of $700,000,000 worth a year. It was a bit mean in him. For anyone knows who knows anything about women and finance that any figure with more than three ciphers attached to it puts them in a panic and their minds refuse to act, either to add or subtract, to multiply or divide. It is not humanly possible to keep in entire sex away from the money till for thousands of years and then in i tew short decades to expect them to take off their hats and feel at home the world of finance. Fortunately for the peace of mind of women and the national credit of the housewife, along came a man who both could and did divide. And he cheered women up mightily by announcing that, even if the sum total of food waste did reach a staggering sum, yet after all it only amounted to less than one cent per meal per capita. In spite of a cold, late, and dark spring, sunshine permeated the hearts Dy, We_> There's an all-out-doors freshness to the flavor of Coca-Cola. It treats one’s palate and one’s person to the refresh- ment that brings thoughts of open spaces, fresh breezes and big, cool distances. Demand the genuine by full name— nicknames encourage substitution. THE COCA-COLA CO., ATLANTA, GA, DISTHLED UNOL® OUR OmNOTRL PROCESS an0 roe VOLUME ONE QUART |WHISKY| AGEO In wooo HILE skill plays its part in the distilling, and care plays its part in grain selection and in purification, time plays a lone part in the aging of Cascade: Hence its wholesome mellowness. Original Bottling has Old Gold Label GEO. A. DICKEL & COMPANY, Distillers NASHVILLE, TENN. LOUISVILLE, KY. sp PRIVATE Amanrtee a ace ASHVELGL TOE

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of housewives. They knew against what heavy odds they wrestled when they tried to economize on food; how their husbands eyed them with rage and anger high; how their children cast at them the pleading eye. ‘Let any class of men who can best our record throw the first stone,” they cried and they looked with withering scorn on Con- gress and there wasn’t a peep. A Sure Market for Old Tomes O longer are the women’s clubs in Indiana browsing patiently over the cryptic sentences of Browning. In fact no longer are they conning anything in the merely cultural line. \ sudden political breeze wafted into the world of Indiana women the right to vote for almost every elected creature in the state, and with equal suddenness Browning grew stale. The club palate slackened_ on him. History repeated itself in Indiana, and a rush began at the book stores for books on civil government. This rush has been a fixed phenomenon in all commonwealths directly after women have been passed even a small piece of the political pie. Being a curious sex, they immediately want to know how the political pie is made anyhow, and whether the recipe could not be improved on. And to this’ end Browning and his like change places in the club library with Adam Smith and his ilk. One wonders why the book-men, whose business interests must be furthered by this sudden sale of usuallyunsalable tomes, don’t organize in their advertising department a branch of woman suffrage boosters. Where the Dice Are Loaded Against Suffrage HE state of Minnesota is one of those too numerous commonwealths — in which they have compulsory voting. That is, in order for a voter to be neutral on any question submitted at an election he must stay sedulously away from the polls. If he ventures into a polling booth to express his burning conviction on any subject he will be counted as voting “no” on questions about which he has no convictions at all. Many are the men who have neither opinions nor interest in the question of whether women vote or don’t vote. They won't vote for suffrage and won’t vote against it. This policy can be carried out by them in many states, but not in Minne- sota. There elections are run on _ the biblical principle: He who is not for me is against me. So it was that when the other day the suffrage referendum bill was defeated in the Minnesota Legislature, the suffrage world heaved one long grand sigh of relief. Why bother to play where the dice are loaded against us, it asked, when presidential suffrage is being given for the asking and municipal suffrage fairly thrust upon us without notice?

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| | Gun ce and nany a never mns of triking you'll la year w York [E ideal and rd In bed ist wine ll outlast rd tot e by \ id ster, _X. ad —— | oe ark, NA 2, 1917 Two Trades Compared HE poet said: The time is ripe For change, when people pay A plumber more to lay a pipe Than me to pipe a lay. in They pay me by the line, and roar: “Your rhythm should be neater” — And him, so much a foot, and more If he insta'ls a meter. I ponder long a tender scrap To tease a tear or so— The plumber simply turns a tap \nd bids the water flow. I seek to elevate the mass, But raise them not a fraction— The plumber holds them up, alas! \nd profits by the action. Some folk endorse my work, and vote To rate it superfine But they'll endorse the plumber’s note, \nd turn down one of mine. Posterity, perhaps you'll say, Will owe me quite a lot— But its forerunners have to pay The plumber on the spot! W. E. Nesom. a Current Jests Casey’s Weakness—‘‘Say, Casey, did you ever make an idiot of yourself over women?” “An idjut, is ut? Sure I’ve made mesilf an intoire asylum.”’—Boston Transcript. She Was Literal—‘‘I grovel here before you in the dust!’’ observed the impassioned youth, as he sank onto the drawing-room floor. “TI don’t know what you mean by dust,” replied she, coldly. ‘‘I look after this room myself every morning.’’—Tit-Bits. Their Complaint—0Orderly—The men, sir, are complaining about the beans. Oficer—What’s the matter with the beans? Orderly—The men say they’re ‘asbeens, sir.—London Ideas. In That Case—‘‘How do you feel today, old man?” “T don’t feel like myself.”’ “In that case, perhaps you will lend me a five-spot.”-—Chicago Herald. His Reason—‘‘I never buy raffle tickets. I never won anything in a raffle in my life.” “Been unlucky, eh?” “Wouldn't say that. I’ve never bought a raffle ticket..".—Detroit Free Press. Gentlemen Farmers—‘ Father, what do they mean by gentleman farmers?”’ “Gentleman farmers, my son, are farmers who seldom raise anything except their hats." —Tit-Bits. Two Wives— My wife is like George Washington; I don’t believe she could tell a lie to save her soul.” “You're lucky! Mine can tell a lie the minute I get it out of my mouth.”—Boston Transcript. Makers of the Highest Grade Turkish and Egyptian Cigarettes in the World alll Summer Resort Helps The Favorite Beverages of the Grand Army of Recreation Seekers Don't Delay Order Seasun's Supply T'oday. C. H. EVANS & SONS, Hudson, N.Y. Leslie's Musi rated Weekly Newspaper Sent on Free TRIAL! Send for big new catalog. 90 designs. Reduced prices— | freight prepaid. Fac | tory to you. 15 days’ free trial. Fragrant Piedmont Red Cedar Chests protect furs, woolens and plumes from moths, mice, dust and damp. Ideal wedding gift.Every | Reduced girland woman wantsone. Lasts for generations. Prices. Write today for our great new catalog—postpaid free frei Prepaid 1 Piedmont Red Cedar Chest Co., Dept.36, Statesville, N.C. HOTEL VENDIG #2! 574 Fiber Most Popular in Philadelphia 250 Rooms and Baths, $2.00 up ! Running ice water in every room. Excellent service in grill and cafe | | JAMES C. WALSH, Manager The best war-pictures, the most war-pictures, first in e ’ L e sl 1es Illustrated Weekly Newspaper at every newsstand—ten cents—every week

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+ “— ~ Keep Fit—for Your Country In this world crisis it is your duty, above everything else, to keep yourself in good condition. You can’t serve your country in any capacity if you allow your health to run down. The Nujol treatment will make you a national asset— not a liability. Take a little Nujol upon rising and retiring and it will remove waste matters and poisons (intestinal toxins) from your system, and keep your habits regular as clock work. Nujol is not habit forming. (The longer you take it, the less you need it.) No griping, straining, upset stomach or weakening. Nujol is absolutely pure and harmless, and is pleasant to take. Even the infant will enjoy it, and it will do as much for him as_ fj} it does for his mother. Nujol is sold in pint bottles only, bearing Nujol trademark, never in bulk. Nujol is absolutely distinctive and individual. There is no other product on the market like it. STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) Bayonne New Jersey Nujol the Internal Cleanser | ee a Please send me booklet on Nujol and a uses nineteen ee Acuiress ona = — ee - JUDGE ~~ oe m 2 TAROT ; UN coma Stories With Smiles More Than One Kind—Miss Helen, the daughter of the family jp which jet-black Maria Jackson occasionally worked by the day, had bee, given a beautiful cup and saucer of rare china. She showed it to Marig and said: “T mean to put it away in my hope box. You know what that is, Aunt Maria? It’s the box a girl puts things into in the hope that she will some day need them as a bride.” “ Lawzey, chile, I knows all about dem hope boxes. I got one of my own, chile.” “Why, I thought you were already married.” “T is, chile, an’ my hope box is one I is puttin’ money into fas’ as I kin until I has enough to pay fo’ a divorcement from Pete Jackson. More’n one kind of hope box mixed up with matrimony, Miss Helen.”—.Vew York Times. A Complete Job—They were a very tired battalion and a very Cock- ney battalion, and when they spoke to the members of the bactalior. who had met them their speech was rich with expletives. Said a sympathizer of the other battalion: “You look jolly tired, mate. ’Ave yer bin far?” The spokesman of the weary ones answered shortly and sweetly: * Bin fer! Why, we've walked over nearly the ‘ole o° France, and wot we ro ain't walked over we've got in our sandbags.”’—7i-Bii Logical, to Say the Least—Little Mary had never seen her Aunt | Anna, and was much delighted when a visit was promised by the aunt. When the day arrived that the aunt was due a telegram was delivered at Mary’s home which read: “Missed train. Will start at same time to | morrow.” Mary stood quietly by whilg her mother read the telegram, and then burst into tears. “Why, darling,” cried the mother, anxiously, “what in the world is the matter?” “Oh, mother,” replied the child between her sobs, ‘I will never see my Aunt Anna, after all.” “Never see her!’ exclaimed the mother in surprise. ** What do you mean, dear?” “Why, mother,” explained the child, “she says she will start the same time tomorrow, and if she does she will lose her train again, won't she?’”— People’s Home Journal. How the Disaster Occurred—A gentleman in Cincinnati employs | two negroes to work on his rather extensive gardens, which he personally oversees. One morning Sam did not appear. “Where is Sam, George?” he asked. “In de hospital, sah.” “In the hospital? Why, how in the world did that happen?” “Well, Sam he been a ‘tellin’ me ev’ry mor’nin’ foh to yeahs he gwine to lick his wife ‘cause o° her naggin’.”’ “Well?” “Well, yestiddy she done ovahheah him. Da’s all.’’"—Ludies’ Home Journal. Hopeless—There is in the employ of a Brooklyn woman an Irish cook who has managed to break nearly every variety of article that the household contains. The mistress’ patience reached its limit recently when she discovered that the cook had broken the thermometer that hung in the dining-room. ‘Well, well,” sighed the lady of the house, in a resigned way, “you've managed to break even the thermometer, haven't you?” Whereupon, in a tone equally resigned, the cook said: * Yis, mum; and now we'll have to take the weather just as it comes, won't we?” Argonaut. Always Busy—“I never get a chance to stand when the National anthem is being played.” “Why not?” “Too busy picking up things. My wife drops a glove or a handker chief every time she rises.”—Aansas City Journal. Yes—How About It?—‘‘It’s the thing we haven't that makes us unhappy,” remarked the parlor philosopher. F “How about the toothache?” suggested the mere man.—Minneapolis Tribune. Jur | Ss = = | = = = it Spel HAGA A

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aT — mily ip ad been Maria s, Aunt ll some 'v Own, s I kin \More’n ’ York Cock- vr. who VOt we - Aunt t, red at ne to- | then is the ee my mean, same er = iploys ynally ine to Home Irish that ently that ou’ve num, we?” anne eat ree — June 2, 1917 mei oti OMe mA SRR tt si ielaaeaeiiil Nii |A Trumpet Call to American Manhood | defense of American rights. 0 for civilization and humanity? ANNAN STORIES THAT STIR THE BLOOD You will glory in these splendid stories of dauntless heroism, of subtle strategy, of brilliant tactics, of fierce fighting which vitalize the past and make one jealous of the glorious title, Citizen of the United States. You will gain a new conception of America’s fights and fighters, and take increased devotion to the cause to which our fighting forefathers consecrated their lives. In brilliant panoramic procession there passes before your eyes the proud, domineer- ing, indomitable Spaniard; the gay, debonair, dashing, brilliant Frenchman; the cool, stubborn, persistent, persevering, heroic Englishman; the hardy Colonist, adding to his old-world stock the virtues generated by the new life in'a mew land; and the American Indian fighting gamely and bravely to stem the on-coming tide of civilization, to whose prowess and strategy full justice is done in these stories. A BATTLE HISTORY OF AMERICA which includes the tales of the Conquista- dores, the Knights Errant of Colonization, the Soldiers of Fortune who long before the earliest English settlements in North America had made their names a terror from Mexico to Peru. Read “‘ The Greatest Adventure in History,” an exploit without parallel, the conquest of Mexico by Cortez and his handful of Spanish gentlemen ad- venturers. Listen to the yarns told by the Gentlemen of the Black Flag, the dare- devils who sailed under the “Jolly Roger.” _ Let them tell you how they laid siege to _ cities, and looted the Don’s treasure ships © of the gold and silver stripped from the - temples of the Incas. NM Al has just been sounded in the President’s declaration of war in Will any true-blue American fail to do his bit in upholding the traditional American reputation for valor in this titanic struggle The United States will stand shoulder to shoulder with her Allies, on the far-flung battle line in Europe, with the same sublime assurance of success in a just cause with which she AMERICAN FIGHTS AND FIGHTERS—Patriot’s Edition enjoy. waged the many and bloody wars that established in the q Western Hemisphere the civilization and freedom we now It is the story of these wars and the brave deeds of those Amer- © ican fighters who risked life and fortune in the cause of religious, THE MOST MOMENTOUS STEP IN OUR HISTORY has just been taken by which we have regained the right to look the whole world in the eyes without flinching. Now let every true-born American turn to these inspiring pages that he may experience a re- birth of the spirit of the founders of the Republic, and draw from them the lessons of energy and man- hood found in these thrilling stories of our brave fighters on land and sea. Read of the genius, courage and audacity of Washington, displayed on many bloody fields; of the daring and enterprise of the sea- men in our unbeaten navy, who fought for the freedom of American commerce on the seas. Get acquainted with those gallant youths and rugged frontiersmen who carried the Anglo-Saxon fighting spirit into the track- less western wilderness, driving before them the treacherous Mexican and the plumed and painted savage, whose blood-curdling war cry reéchoes through these volumes in many a tale told by brave Indian fighters—pioneers, scouts, troopers and Major Gen- erals, whose adventures are here related for the first time. civil and political freedom—who wrested the New World from savage foes and European rivals—that is told, as never told before, by Cyrus Townsend Brady in his master work Given to Prompt Subscribers A Copy of the Greatest Fighting Document Ever Penned by Man The Declaration of Independence | A Facsimile in Color, Illuminated by the Coats of Arms of the United States and of the Original Thirteen States. Size 32x22 in. Every American home, every American office, should display on its walls this clarion call to arms in defense of human rights—the palladium of our liberties. Was it a yellow brood of Pacifists—of Moral Degenerates— who solemnly pledged all that life holds dear to the support of a principle? Did Jefferson, Hancock, Adams, Franklin, Morris, and the other signers, stop to count the cost? Had ~ they done so, where would we be now? Dedicated to the Loyal Sons of Fighting Sires American Fights and Fighters PATRIOT’S EDITION This splendid set of books has just been issued in a new form which leaves nothing to be desired as to dignity and attractive- ness of appearance. The price named in this offer is considerably under the regular publisher’s price, but our price can only be maintained should the immediate response to this offer indicate that we are not to be put to a heavy selling expense in disposing of this small edition through repeated ad- vertisements. Therefore, make sure of se- © curing your set of AMERICAN FIGHTS AND © FIGHTERS at this cut price by mailing your order TODAY. ONLY 50c NOW and coupon, bring to your door, charges prepaid, these six inspiring volumes, beauti- fully bound in cloth, printed on splendid paper, in good, clear type, each volume 8'44x5)4 inches. You will enjoy the il- lustrations almost as much as the text; and there are maps and plans galore. Your money back quick if you do not declare these six volumes the most interesting books you ever read—BUT Don’t Neglect to Send Coupon Today BRU waite {yoy SUBSCRIPTION CO 116 Brunswick Bldg., New York, ss es I pe... 50c, first payment on the 6 volume set of AMERICAN FIGHTS AND FIGHTERS, to be shipped, charges prepaid, with the large facsimile in color of the Declaration of Independence. I agree to remit $1.00 a month for months Ee their receipt. Otherwise I will, within 5 days, ask for instructions for returning them at your expense, you to refund my 50c a Pe 17 Address. . Occupation

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