St. Louis Post-Dispatch
September 26, 1909

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— ——— = = "SS He Iiptoes to Exhr- bition of Tazlors f

2 Hotel Parlor \; and Gloats With Enthustasm Over the Newest Cuts of Coats and Trou- Sers. | Man's Only Choice Is Between a Few Dull Colors, and He Pays Higher Prices for What He Gets Than the Women Do. ——— By MARGUERITE MARTYN. JMEN seldom pretend to be above the pet- W ty vice of vanity. Men always do. It is one of the strongholds of their superiority. But listen. ; Down at the Southern Hotel this week, re- moved from the gross materiality of Broadway, away off on the parlor floor, where you'd never

_ suspect it, the men are having a “Fall Opening.” That’s not what they call it. O, dear, no. They haven’t spread those words, “Fall *Opérifng,” -which mean 80 much to us women folk of fads and frills, over whole pages of the newspapers, just too pretty and too foolish for anything. They call theirs an “exhibition of fine work- manship in tailoring.” Engraved invitations were sent:out to mem- bers of the Merchant Tailors’ League. There was music evenings and you were led to believe that it was a purely educational, social, interprofes- sional affair for mutual benefit and the uplift- ment of the tailéring craft. | But if, when you chanced to pass the Southern, my dears, as flocks of you did, on matinee days, , and you had not been so completely absorbed in. _yOur own new fall hat and the intricacies of walk- ing in your new polonaise; or if you had not been . sé vain as to think that a crowd of the most im- portant and most substantial of our citizens were following in your wake, caught in the lure of your new fall outfit, you might have noticed that the whole Stock Exchhnge, or the St. Louis Club or the City Fathers, or some other combi- nation of the powers that be, had to all appear- ances transferred their headquarters to the South- ern. Old Accusers Escape Suspicion of Women. om ND if, your ‘suspicions aroused, you had : A . pursued the subject and taken up their trail, you would have found that it led _ to that same highly educational and social ex- - hibition. But, doubtless, serene in your own guilt, your acknowledged extravagance and weak- " ness for pretty clothes, you didn’t think of sus- pecting your old accusers. And if you had you - ‘would generously have said: “Let them have their ‘opening’ if they want to. We don’t blame aye Bo it is left for me to show that they didn’t deceive everybody by tiptoeing over thick carpets “into the: upp corridors of a secluded hotel to ‘hold a fashion show. __ It developed that part of the aim of the Mer- chant Tailors’ League is to induce men who have been in the habit of going to New York to buy their clothes to patronize home industry.

__ “TF WOMEN ARE, RESPONSIBLE. MENS NEW FASHIONS, SUST LET ME, SOGGEST “ot FEW TMPROVEMENTS.

FOR & ROFFPLE HERE —, | 3 \ ATUCK THERE By i ZZ, L oY ~ Say ws SS EAN \

timeg pay their wives’ extravagant bills without murmuring. They thust, indeed, feel foolish when they see how much their wives have to show for their money and realize how they themselves have been stung. Men have been paying these prices right along, and a well-dressed man must have one of these “fancy” affairs for each peri of the day, I was told. And coats. There Yere breakfast coats and morning coats and formal afternoon coats, and formal equestrian coats and informa] equestrian coats, hunt dinner coats and formal dimner coats. and informal dinner coats, evening coats, top coats, overcoats, etc., etc. At least, so I was told, All Look Alike to © the Eye of « Woman. HEY all iooked alike to me—a somber T enough array. Ah, but that’~ one of the fine points—the color, or rather lack of color, | There is an iron-clad rule, making it an un- pardonable transgression for a man to wear any color in suits other than gray or black, this year. And yet they say women are slaves of fashion. Wouldn’t we shriek Yor our rights and get them, too, if it were a matter of being denied al) but two colors the whole season through! aes But, 0, those fine points. For these they pay real money of large denominations and for these they have educational exhibits arranged. The differ- ence between one button afid two, and whether they be smoked pearl or mother-of-pearl, sewed on straight or at an angle; the problem of wheth- er a collar shall bé notched or not notched; of whether a tie shal] be square cornered or pointed; the choice’ between whether a coat shall have two rows of buttons or one row; between a coat with a so-called skirt and one of the same length without; whether trousers shall be rolled up or not rolled up; or whether they shall be an inch shorter or an inch longer. At great length a certain curve in a sleeve was described to me, which was invisible to the naked eye. Indeed,,my brain was fairly perforated when I had listened to all the fine points. These tiny, infinitesimal details assume momentois propor- tions wheh a man goes to buy a suit. Women last year wore a hat that was 36 inches wide and perfectly flat, which is replaced this year with a turban 9 inches high and close fitting, like a hood. That's a change worth worrying about. Yet a man must discard a perfectly good suit be- wearing them that way this year. But to return to fine points. Shoulders are to be fully two inches narrower on each side, I was informed. And yet men wonder innocently what women do with their hips in off seasons cause mayhap the pockets slant and they are ede” H T recall ‘how the few men shoppers | 1oticed in department stores tiave the ap- , what has al

bought their clothes only with an eye to neat-. ness and durability. I have clways been taught that men, to amiount to anything in America, must wear bluejeans and cowhide boots and smoke a cob pipe.” Well- Dressed Men Wear Quiet Clothes. 66 (}: so it is,” replied the exhibitor. “Far be it from us to encourage foppery. It is corservatigm a well-dressed man aims at, always.” “Conservatism? It is sometimes: difficult to distinguish between conservatism and timidity, is it not?” I inquired. | Bias I had been shifted sheepishly from one ex- hibitor to another. struck one of them. “It’s the women,” he talfly beamed. “It’s the women’s fault. . If it Were not fer the wom- en we men would all be going about in overalls.” I might have expected it—that old excuse which has been unfailingly available since the Stone Age. So here we are, back where we started from. The men’s fashions show proves nothing more ae

-- — Finally a happy thought: SS

vanity in this world. Men have no vanity. Hor- rors, no! They don’t descend in flocks upon a millinery shop at the first intumation of a con- signment of cast-off peach baskets from Paris. But they go all the way to New York to see whether buttonholes are to be straight or slightly slanted this year. They. don’t subscribe for fashion magazines, but our best literary periodicals have deteriorated into mere supplements to the ad- vertisements of makers of men’s clothing. If the women are to blame for it all, why don’t these shrewd tailors advertise in the exclusively women’s magazines? Our fashion magazines, on the other hand, are becoming mere, supplements to literary papers, so the dressmakers complain. As men grow more fashionable, women grow more literary. What does that portend? How does it happen that these tailors grow more and more prosperous? Why is it that the most su- perior draftsmen among artists today are busy designing advertisements for men’s clothes? Even I have been advised of that profitable field and my poor services solicited. How is it that I am consumed with fear when I must. make a pic- ture of-a man correctly attired, knowing that numerous letters will descend upon me pointing out my grievous errors, whereas any old hat or gown my woinen wear goes unrebuked? Why

anit than that women have a monopoly of al] that is me ee OR REN j“HORRORS NO! THAT. WOULD _ WEVER DO!"

MY TROUSERS Ill a j AC ZIDENTA a DID THE | ~~ HARMONY — Ay BETWEEN \\\\H HIS HOSIERY \\¥ BND NECKATIE JOST KH&PPEN? i TS YE SG fae la $ ATE BE “eee ee reaps £ WA LK! NG- STICt * FoR. SOPPORT?. «2 ~_— : J ’ % . . : pi Ke, Mens Pe Wi) 5, Mage i i . a eens e et 4 ok So Neb Bie a es Oe ee £4; 8 Bee Oa ce ward Clee SOE acalt & ete neh eR sh. 941 A Ringe Bm : - © acme a eh - Co . ‘4 gh dk 7" ‘ Sake os : ae Ss ke: Bercohie.n > sae Ce i \ 7 7 H j . rs ; al = NR, RES, Pe. Shere ea ve °9 Gees ms Sib + AY > ae See Pear T. PF, a eee a es

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by Sake. “a — 7 ‘“ e % o? “A man must discard.a perfectly good suit because mayhap the pockets slant and they

are not wearing them’ that way this year.” any of this if men are not getting to dressiest. things? | a a OW, of course, we’ve often noticed the N Symphonious arrangement of the tie and hosiery of the young man who calls upon us Sunday evenings. Likewise we have noticed that when he sits down the edge of his trousers touch invariably a certain button on his shoes.

DIXEY, the actor, gat restfully at the make-up table in his dressing room between acts at the Century and discussed American humor. Himself one of the most famous raconteurs, Mr. Dixey also loves to hear a funny story. “The American funny story ig the funniest story in the world,” he said. “Humor ag differ- entiated from wit, is dominant tn the American temperament, and, almost unconsciously, it : af- fects the American view of life at every EROS We look at life through humorous eyes. Ir things don’t go right, we make a joke of the mischance. “Abraham Lincoln was the greatest american humorist of ajl time, and it wag he who. told seemed to me the funniest story I ever heard in my life. > ae e “A group of bis cronies were jp office paring notes on life as they found it. They drift- -“ ed to the subject of romance and sentiment in life, and the talk at last centered on the bliss. of love-making, of ‘courting’ girls and feeling that you made them fall in love with you by your superior charms. Finally some one of the party asked Lincoln for his personal views on the sub- ject. a | 66 LD ABE straightened out his lank and ungainly frame and a quizzical smile stole across his exceedingly homely face. _ ‘Gentlemen,’ he drawled, ‘I reckon I ain't fully qualified to discuss that point with any great authority. In fact, gentlemen, it reminds me of the story of the poor little country-jake Dixey Quotes Lincoln in Funniest Stcry following the departure of the other boy and the gingerbread, weeping bitterly. ) “What's the matter, sonny? asked the man who found him. ro | Fee ee: - ; ee m —— we ey “ ni Be “ Sa ie _— ee. - p Vege ; ? “a at ® eS enya . ; in’ ~ , , i } ya she i YB ‘ "9 x. S ’ A ‘ pes Wer, grins kee FER 4 Ba Ne in ee * a 8 aaa av NP re i 7 te < _ : h er a é me z 3 es Fe. p sd Bt oe = sy » - a af Ma : as Se So a mm Sees | ee as