St. Louis Post-Dispatch
October 4, 1908

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That noted demonstrator, William H. Taft, will show St. Leuisans how, to be active though fat, and prove that his much-heralded embon- point has the bounding quality of a rubber foot- “ the stolid, unresisting inertia -see the parade. I won't have time.” ball rather aoe ; sie , . “Owing to what?” inquired the Druggist. of a 16-pound snot. he ‘ you on the Taft reception committee?” Not that Mr. Taft is a “bounder.” Oh, no. But : “No,” answered the Lidlifter, “I told them I« _ he ‘will have to be as lively as a jumping bean » couldn’t serve. I'll be busy following Gus Thomas’ if he covers all the assignments allotted to him Padvice and taking béts from some of my Repub- 11 hours and 15 minutes in and plican friends. I’ll have plenty of chance to cover aor, bis stay of 2) } ‘them in about a week. Taft odds will be higher around St. Louis next Tuesday, >while he’s here than they will be after our agi- Maybe he will be forced to violate the speed ptated President has been on the stump a few/ Jaws, as Bryan did in Rhode Island. - It would » days.” bo a graceful thing to do—also necessary—if the ’ “What is that scheme of his?” said the Drug- ring-around-the-rosy program outlined for him P : gist. “My wife took the paper the other evening is carried out. Before he is through with it he may wish he just as I was starting to read about it.” “Easy money,” said the Lidlifter. “You find had remained in Panama and dug the Panama Canal with a garden spade or that he had stuck Psomebody who wants to bet two to one on Taft and put your money on Bryan. Then wait till © you can get even money and bet on Taft. You to his pacification job in Cuba. . Slowly it is dawning on Mr. Taft that it is up to him to work. He will be quite sure of it can’t lose, and if Bryan’s elected you win.” before he departs from St. Louis on a midnight train. | , He is due to arrive in St. Louis at 12:45 p. m. Right off the reel he will be.told that he will have to hustle to make a showing because the _ 3 Veilea Prophet and the Browns, playing the last game of the season, are trying to steal hfs thun- der. 5 Taft Smile Will Greet 150 Vice-Presidents That being the case, it will be necessary for him to have the Taft. smile working at its best when he is met at the train by the 150 vice-presidents— minus thewttmber who may have deserted to go ¢¢7 F YOU'RE going to take any friends to gee the parade Tuesday night,” said thé Druggist, “I know a man who has a win- i i i ey 7 dow.” “And I know a man who has a balloon,” said ‘the Lidlifter. “But I’m not going up in either to i i i i i i

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a UPPOSE the odds go up instead of down?” — said the Druggist. “Then,” said the Lidlifter, “you stand , pat on your first bet, and do some studying as to’ how you can get along without that new over- coat, in case plutocracy is again triumphant.” “Well,” said the Druggist, “if I had any money I wanted to be sure of getting rid of, I'd send it to one of the campaign funds. Then I’d have >the satisfaction of seeing my name in print, ,anyway.” ? “That's a sublime thought, as my friend Jig- >gers Gallagher wauld say,’’ remarked the Lidlift- - »er. “But I figure that I’ve got just as good a right . >to make a little money out of a campaign, while pit’s going on, as the defeated candidate has to ‘Make money out of it by lecturing and editing tb the ballgame’? oF BPA UuL 2) Pe Fn — WAS” \ i asa Mae Diet, 108 68. te pie nan Sg “Of the making of many- vice-presidents there ! 3 "eo ey SS * Fate en DR TOUT. SOON ee te ea is no end. It's. different when it .comes to pres- peri hy Raa arynp Me 29 eae eel idents. Better to be vice-president of a recep*ion }place while he took you to the box and rung committee than to run for President of the Unit: : ‘for a wagon. And, you know, they aren’t taking » @d States and fail, This thought may be relied seize upon this opportunity to make him an hon- along the road was Forest Park >Ed Butler on any more bonds now.” _apon to reinforce the Taft. smile when he shakes Orary member. . ; “That bird flying east over the hill? » “No,” said the Lidlifter, “but our most noted. ; ’ - 7 | : : CERF | | ; i wasn't a bird. That was the Art Museum. ,expert on conventional offenses has announced haniis With the silk-hat boys at Unfon Station. According to the schedule arranged by Dwight that he’s still taking all the cases that come his

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