St. Louis Post-Dispatch
January 5, 1908

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‘It You Desire Your Light to Shine. Persistent use of Post-Dispatch Want Ads is equivalent to having your lamp well trimmed and burning. Three-time ads almost sure of results. ALL DRUGGISTS OUR WANT AD AGENTS.

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You Can Sell Your Cow There on Bl they do not know x Calf or Heifer through the the Sunday te anxious to buy but have them to sell. 14 WORDS z20c

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— VOL. 60, NO. 137. / =i LOUIS, SUNDAY MORNING, JANUARY D, 1908, PRICE FIVE CEN

STRIKING IS NOW FAD OF THE FLAT. DWELLER:

—— According to Statistics, Yive-S 2aths of St, Louts- ans Ave Ekhetble to Amateamated Union— Will You Sown?

° it's cheaper to move than pay rent, whats | cheaper thar moving? Answer: Striking. Never heard of such a thing, you say? Well, if everybody knew about it, we wouldn't be telling you. But you have. heard something of it if you have been reading the news» from New York. ‘The original Worm That Turned never put any more spirit into his flip-flop act than did several thousand New York flat dwellers, who a few days ago refused to pay increased rent and refused to move. ” ‘The striking tenants figured tnat there weren't enough justice courts in their part of town dispossess them, and there they are still, the rent money tucked away in the chiffonier and the unsigned rent receipt getting all dusty in the agent’s desk. WHY NOT STRIKE HERE? If we in St. Louis are going to get our finan- cial strincency from Wall street, why shouldn’t we take a helpful hint from the uptown end of the island George M. Cohan has made famous? Why shouldn’t St. Louis have a tenants’ strike? ' cho, though not an echo from the Real Es- tate Exchange, answers, “Why not?” Five-sixths of all St. Louisans, the water rates man has said, lives-in flats. Allowing St. Louis the modest population of 750,000, there are 625.,- 000 of us eligible for membership in the Amalga- mated Flat Dwellers’ Union. to/ Ww oe GIVE USA ROOM FOR OUR DOGS AND CATS AND FURNISH A FLOWER POT FoR EACH WINDOW

He FLAT Ws DWEL Lens. Put IN A SCALATORS i PHONOGRAPy HAND GIVE Some TRADING STAMPs N

So, if the New York idea wor kg Avell enough there to justify trying it west of Hoboken, you may hear a ring at. your rear door some morning, and instead of the grocer’s boy, you may find there the walking delegate of the A. F. D. U. 700d morning, madam,” he will begin; “I am collecting information and enrolling members for the new union of tenants. Our motto 1s: ‘Low Rent or No Rent.’ “May I ask how many rooms you occupy here? How much a month do they soak you for? How many children? Have they raised or lowered your rent since you moved in? When was your piano tuned last? Is there a janitor, and does he janit? Have you steam heat or a one husband-power furnace? Is your lawn kept in order, or does your husband have to mow it with his safety rezor? If you forget to take in your porch mats are they there in the morning? c “Your initiation fee will be 50 cents. Thank you. You will receive notice of the first meeting.” And he goes away, after handing you a cirvru- lar showing how rents in Chicago, Kalamazoo Spokane, Skowhegan and Belleville are lower than in our fair city. A couple of weeks later you will get a postai card announcing the meeting. If the company runs extra cars, you may be able to get to ihe place of meeting. Unless it is an open-air meet- ing in Forest Park, vou will have a hard tine getting in. LOWER RENT IS PREFERABLE. lowered, every time! “Everybody here wants to cut down living ex- penses. How are you going to do it? If you quit paying the grocer and the butcher, they wilt Like as not, you will see your husband’s boss. who lives in the $120-a-month Adonis Apart- ments, presiding over the meeting. He will start off his speech with some stock matter of the . Friends-Romans-Countrymen style, and, getting down to brass tacks after a few minutes, will SAY something like this: “If everyone before me could have his salary raised $3 a week, or his rent lowered $50 a month, which would he rather have? The rent quit sending rou stuff, and you can’t make them send it. If you quit paying for your light, your light will be shut off. But if you all quit paying rent until your rent is ‘lowered, what can th, landlord do? He can’t evict one in forty, for there are only enough constables in town for th2 or- Cinary eviction business.” “He can shut off our heat, can’t he?’ an anx- icus man with a college-professor look may aris« to ask. “If you ha~e steam heat in your houses, have gas grates, haven’t you?” the speaker wi'!l reply. “Suppose your gas bill.is enough higher for a few weeks to make up what vou sive in rent. When your rent goes down, it will stay down. Our union will look after that.” REAL ESTATE MEN’S PLAN. At this point a secret emissary of the real es- tate men will demand the floor. “Are we to understand,” he will ask, “‘that this union is organized for the sole purpose of start- ing a strike?’ “Tt is,” the chairman will inform him. ,ou “Is this not contrary to the principles of un- ions in general?” the objector will demand. “As I understand the methods of unions, they first organize for mutual benefit, then meet to de- termine on measures, then make demands of the other side, and strike only as a last means of obtaining their demands. Yet, hore it is proposed that we plunge into a strike head first, without finding out whether the landlords may not be willing to meet us halfway.” “They have.been meeting us halfway alf the time, a red-headed man will reply, “and then throwing us down and dragging our jeans for all the traffic would bear. Anybody that wants to waste his time asking to have his rent reduced can stand on his constitutional rights and do it. But I move that we decide right here, without leaving it to eny committees, what we are going to/ get, and then go after it the way our chair- man has suggested.” & chorus of seconds, a shout of “ayes.” Then +, motion to declare all rents in St. Louis reduced 10 per cent. Another tumult of affirmatives.

—- = |= Tf You Refuse to Pay Hi igh ject. (RealEstate Men.)

yielding to the demand for rent at the old Passed. Adjournment. QUIET ON CHESTNUT STREET. a ‘The first day of the month following, Chest- nut street, from Seventh to Tenth, will be as quiet as an owl car in the sheds. Here ap there some renegade, or someone whom the walk- ing delegate overlooked, will call at an office and leave a few dollars. But most of the offices will be busy opening letters like this: “Dear Sir: Pursuant to the action of the Anat gumated Flat Dwellers’ Union, in which I hold a journeyman’s card, I beg to inform you that your bill for the coming month’s rent must be re duced by 10 per cent before I can consider oe: the same. Sincerely yours, A TENANT.” Whereupon the realty men will get busy tel phoning to their lawyers. And the next . there will be mandamuses, certioraris, ex pos factos, injunctions, quo warrantos ard pot Ce ‘dimuses in such number that the Circuit © A resolution to ostracise and boycott any person, tunda and file papers in bushel baskets. What will be the result? What will happen if an irresistibie force ccunters an immovable object?

dé .

WHY SHOULDN'T WOMEN PROPOSE, LEAP YEAR OR ANY

PAYtLIS$S MIGHT GET “eee f

WOMAN SHovurd Dp THe PROPOSING — OR. Lewis — eT th : ‘an i i “</ a 2 WOMEN Love Paysicar PERFECTION 268 ~“eraee arreeee

Titi Tt e S@« eee - 7 Baer eae + + te ~ wees ee sesdiercy ata ter | aa \ f if EVERY TEAR weee t.€aP YEeaR

sh» ee Lidlifter Searches the Stat- utes and Tells the Drup- gist There’s No Law to Keep Them Fiom Pop- ping the Question. gist to his friend, the Lidlifter, who "A was leaning on the showcase and read- ing the latest news about the President's chil- dren. “No, thank you,” said the Lidlifter, as he re- garded the near-Gibson: print -held out to him. “If I were to hang that up in the kitchen, our cook might be reminded that it was leapyear, and =_—— to the policeman, and then where would , ° .

AVE a calendar on me,” said the Drug- we be?” “Well,” remarked the Druggist, “you wouldn't have to hang it in the kitchen. There’s one like it in my sitting room. But speaking of leap- year, did you read what that Chicago doctor said about women proposing?” “T’ve been watching for Roosevelt to say some- thing on that subject,” said the Lidlifter, “‘but | admit that the Chicago doctor’s words of wisdom have got away from me. Is he the same one who started the discussion of the question, “Do Mar- ried Men Make the Best Husbands” ” “T don’t know about that,” the Druggist replied. “This one is a Dr. Lewis of Chicago, and he says it would be a good thing if every year was leap- year.” | WOMEN CAN PROPOSE. “If every year was leapyear,” commented the Lidlifter, “the seasons would get all twisted around pretty soon, and we would be wearing straw hats on Christmas and overcoats on the Fourth.” “Oh, he didn’t mean that,” “He said the other. meant the women’s part of it. Said they ought to have the right to propose whenever they want to.”’ “Who's keeping them from doing it now?” asked the Lidlifter. “I’ve read a little law, and I never came across any statute about it.”’ “Custom,” rejoined the Druggist, warming to the controversy. “Custom, sir, stronger than any law, forbids woman to declare her feeling to the man of her choice. Man is the only male being in creation who has the undisputed right of selec- tion. The divorce records show whether he has used this right wisely. I’m giving you this from Dr. Lewis. “He says women love physical perfection, and that if they had the choosing they would pick a better class of men than they get now, and would get along better with them.” “Where would they find these physical pip- pins?” asked the Lidlifter. “You talk\as if all the fine-looking men stayed single, and \ only the ‘runts’ and ‘culls’ got married. Wheres the fact is that the sit-footers are mostly yoked up to lit- tle women, and for every big bachelor like Ike Taylor and Joe Buse you will find a dozen who couldn't flag Cochems’ training squad with a mackintosh. WIFE . DID THE FOOLING. “But your friend Dr. Lewis puts himself in the Bluffy Guffles class when he says women don’t propose now. If they didn’t, how many of us would have wives? “Never mind, I know what you’re going to say— your wife didn’t propose to you. That’s just your powder and pill way of looking at things. Because you were the one that blurted out some- thing about love and a happy home and all that, you actually think you did the trick. “You—well, | won’t make this personal with you any longer, or I’ll be dodging soda glasses pretty soon—any man, I’ll say, who asks a woman to marry him, does so because she wants him to ask her, and shows him that she does. Makes no difference if she does refuse him. She wanted him to ask her just for the sake of being asked. “I don’t like the way Bernard Shaw wears his whiskers, but he must have given his brain a clean shave and a refreshing bath before he wrote the last part of ‘Man and Superman.’ A lot of men have sat through that play, wishing it had a pony ballet in it, and their wives have sat beside them fussing about the stage women's gowns, and neither one has stopped to think that their ‘romance,’ as théy delight to term it, was a case of the man being shanghaied by the super- man, just as in the show. ONLY A FEW MEN ESCAPE. “There are men who have acquired the, manly art of self-defense against this sort of seizure, and some of them.escape once or twice, and a few escape every time.” ‘‘And wish afterward they hadn't,” Drugegist. “If women did the actual proposing,” said the Lidlifter, not heeding the interruption. “the men would dig tunnels under the city until the sky- scrapers would cave in. Every manhole would be a haven of refuge, and the airship business wouldn't be left to professional aeronauts any longer, retorted the oa Simply a Custens the Drugs. eist Aroues,; but 1f Wome a en Had the Right 7a | Selection They'd Get Bet=. — ter H usbands. ~. a om

— “There would be no such thing as making men pay alimony when they could plead that thee were just talked into getting married. Instead pe eetting their pick of mankind, the women would get the leavings.” ie “So you think the way we have now ig a for the women?” said the Druggist. “It's best for everybody,” said the Lacnaiall “The women get the men they want, and the men get the women wil think they want.” ;

WHEN YOU SWEAR OFF BY REGINALD FOSTER. best young men and let it be known to his water when ‘he knew all the time and swing ir‘ the office looking as ““T guess you're rizht, old man,’ said the miserable lobster. ‘I can tal 2 my call up my friend who had been with a me to the theater and getting him to ong railway ami eymoon, and trip to Max had it all fixed begin their

“You may say what you like,” re- marked the man who dropped a tablet into his glass of spring water, “but the man who ewears off at New Year is up againet it for the rest of his natura! life. ‘He ia always known as @ reformed frunkard until the day when they throw the clods over him and leave him - in peace for the first time since he quit the stuff. I know more than one mur- derer who is now a respected citizen ; there are half a dozen embezsiers, su- perintendents of Sunday schoola, and at least one ex-convict holds a high place in New York politics. But the man who quite the booze is a marked man “The meanest part of the whole thing im that he doesn’t have to be a hard a to get the reputation of being a cefodmed drunkard when he quits. Take | ‘Up Detheratety. ; nee Sane F. pever. around the office that ne friends of John Barleycorn need apply, why it was me for the water wagon. I just did not climb up in a moment of en- thusiasm; I did it deliberately. “When I took my seat I had with me a stout plece of string, a pair of man- acies, a hammer and a dozen 10-penny nails. With the string I tied my hat to my butten hole so that it would not blow off and give me a chance to climb; with the hammer and nails I fastened my coat tails to the seat se that I couldn't fall off if I wanted to; and with the handcuffs I made my right wrist fast to the driver's left—I've been there ever since, and I'm feeling fine and dandy. “Last night I went to the theater with a friend. Between each act he had a nice long highball, while I took the regulation water with a tablet to make it fizz. It was a*draughty place, and I could feel the chills creeping up my back, The house was crowded; I couldn't change my seat. I knew I was about slated for a mean day ‘hee ‘ ? . ae . "7

that a couple of jorums of good old hot Scotch would drive the cold and the chills galley west. When I got home I took a hot bath and a hot lemonade, when a nice hot whisky would have warmes my marrow bones much better. “What happened next morning was just what I expected. I was stiff and seve all over, my eyes were bleary and bloodshot, my face was flushed and somewhat swollen. I felt so seedy that I first decided to stay in bed all day and phone the office that I was too sick to attend to business. But then I re- membered an important engagement which the boss had made for me, and I crawled downtown. Have You Ever Had Themf | ‘Now, in the old days when I had an occasional night with the boys jand I was feeling particularly rocky of a mor’ +, it was my c om to put on a fresh, brightly colored shirt, an immacu- late collar and a . “ight de, a sult of clothes rir ‘ut from the tallor’s troning board, and a pair of shoes that would sh'se like t-' mirrors. Then I would nd particular ttention to my shave, put tha se fresh as a daisv and feeline like—well, have you ever had the trembles? “ ‘Looking fine today!’ was the usual greeting, or ‘Guess you behaved yourself last n'~ht?” when all the time I was trying to keep my lips from twitching and hoping no one would slam a door because I knew I would jump a mille. “Well, when I got into the office this morning I felt particularly stuck on my- self, because I knew what an effort it was to get down at all. I wanted some- one to pat me on the back and say ‘Good boy.” I felt t-- mean to pay any at- tention to my toilet and I didn’t care whether I was shaved or not. And my trousers were baggy at the knees. -OU can bet all hands sized me up in a jiffy. The first to speak was the nead of my department, a good friend of mina, too. “ ‘So,’ said he, with never the crack of a smile. “We've forgotten our good resolutions so s00n, have we? I see we've had a struggle with the black bot- tle last night?’ a8 that so? I sneered, ‘If you felt as bad as I do you wouldn’t be down- tewn at all ‘tedey.’ three or four drinks and then leave it alone.’ “"What makes you think I liquor last night” I spluttered. ““Easy,’ sneered the old man. ‘Your eyes, your unkempt appearance, your flushed face. And I thought you had reformed!’ “I was so mad that I turned on my heel and stalked off to my desk. No- body dared speak to me all the morning, but when all hands went out for lunch g00d old Jim Morton, a sort of step- mother to everybody in the office, came up behind me and laid his hand on my shoulder. ‘‘It's none of my business,’ said he, ‘and I didn't want to say anything in front. of the other boys, but I felt so proud of you when I knew you had abandoned liquor. And now you've gone back to It.’ s ‘““"No, I haven't! I protested, ‘and if it was anybody but you Jim, Id knock his block off.’ “And it took me half an hour to a rove to Jim that I was still on the took tell just what happened. “Now for the other side—the fel- low who never swears off and never needs reforming. “lI have a brother-in-law—he mar- ried one of my sisters. He has put more red-eye inside of him than any Kentucky Colonel. He's a walking distillery. If you get him to hold one hand up inthe air and touched a match Bi ed ‘Liberty enlightening the World.’ “At his wedding only lemonade was served, because, as the old man ex- piained to me, ‘You know, Max is only a young fellow and he doesn't care for Mquor nor do his friends.’ TI put a padlock on my mouth because I knew there was a case of rye and another of Scotch up in the ushers’ dressing room to go with the siphons that the old man supplied. Dreps Match for Sigual. “How those ushers got home I don’t know. I piloted one to the corner and all he could say was, "Wish eas’ and ee Max and his beide took ne with the Pullman porter He drank copiously of water because of the dust, he explained to Grace, and every time he dropped a match tn his giass it was a signal for more gin. When the box of matches wave out he rolied into his bunk—‘the strain of the wedding had been too much for the poor dear,’ as my sister explained to me afterward. “In due season Max and his bride landed. He asked another si*eter and Inyself to go to the theater and supper afterwards. Now, it happened it was the end of the quarter. 1 was getting out a particular and important state- ment for the boss, and I knew it was going to take me till midnight or later, 45 I bad to renege. But the girlea went with Max. “He went out after the first act ‘to telephone a man.’ He never came back, liere were the two girls without an es- cort at midnight. ToPn between their feara for Mux’s safety and their own, they hurried through the streets to the hotel fim m. eas tae sages ries mi / xs ? : F As

sister-in-law phoned for « doctor, © whom Max told the same story, Bw to me he boasted that the other had a broken nose and had oat ceeth, at the same time weoume.s t give him away. , Wanted Counsel's Advice, ES “Well, to make matters worse, an old dried-up maiden aunt of the g and mine, with bundles of rock that morning. Sis told aunty | poor Max's terrible capetindns what did the old thing do bet es nd | the family lawyer to see that Be . . vorite niece's poor husband | ave | advice of counsel? “Poor Max groaned. He was 4 he'd get found out “And 11 be ange if the amen