St. Louis Post-Dispatch
September 15, 1907

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Sunday Post-Dispatch to bring you the big list of Farm Land Bargains? |

Don't fail to read the Want _ Ads,

—_ A A ST

- % “Vor 60, NO. 26 60, NO. 26. "ST. LOUIS, SUNDAY MORNING, SEPTEMBER 15, 1907 Gua mus ee = rte A ST Fy TS 6 et SE me ee = ee a - t ii2. FP eee fat a oe I : ee. Se a “ ’ . x ? Ne in Ss in r -. ¢ | F : 5 oe NG saath Pires re at & a Lae ee ae eg TS 1 Tee he : > c ‘ i , ane Pe ee & a ee Wen aw Ce Pe eee . - ame Kit Ne be Spot Ae BD oe Wie 2 F wal R a - Ps . s LAE ASRS s" Ae ass gare fg aR eee ee ere DS” Oia er . apres borg 2 SIERRA GM. bs Pepe ae oe 2, RES, nie ee - SAS By Dyn oe * A ' Ment rg sais 42 . ret R ar eee a x ey Fea . , ae Ps @ ; FS ny i Sh Wee Bk See Sata ‘ ss oN wee RBI 1 pres 3 ‘ : ts ; “Se y sk BR =, A i aig : aay i Jom ee ae be ; ; eae. . : ; A e 4 F * “4 7 Z bak. Ss c = y 2 ‘- by! + Aah) a S oo, aay Ay “vi ee ms “i x en oe ie Sk 4 Po Ss r : 4 teh. tee. o>} dag et Ss” 3X Biot . hy w ep a3? eK ; ne : Ste ae ee oe he 8, . ? , > F a = S = iis 7 r a +, : 4° - ’ . x ; . " % . X \ Re: 4 : So + + ee: : r - ~ s . eZ - ~ . 3 - { 7 | f Ps 2 3 If you don’t find in today’s Want bed “ + . + adits,” Page ef the “and — Segeten what you Columns p advertise | he e_ Sor if. eee eens enna Se sank = S22 PRICE FIVE CENTS.

WEAR FULL DRESS AND DRINK HIGHBALLS, OR GO ~ UNDRESSED AND PLAY HANDBALL, AT M. A. C.

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CJ HAND BALL COURTS

ey, ou ll Find Garments Always in the Way When You | Get Above Ground Floor at Sion of the Cherry Diamond, Which Signiftes Cocktails and Medals.

HW) See Brooklyn Tommy Sulliv i ; A van and Fis Subjects in Tor- ture Chamber, Then Try the Gentle Game of Shtif- fle Board, or Eat Lunch in a Bathing Suit.

ULL dress or undress, you'll find yourself at home at the Sign of the Cherry Diamond, 80 HE called Decause the associate members g¢t a oherries in their cocktails and the active members get diamonds in their medals. . m You can go up to the top floor and cavort in a | breech clout and a ruddy glow, or you can stop on _ ‘the ground floor and work up the ruddy glow with- I “out the breech clout. &. ‘Medicine ball or highball, take your pick. You ean dally with etther to your limit of capacity for | Gercise or enjoyment at the Missouri Athletic Club. | Tw thousand St. Louisahs and 1000 out-of-towners Ae yregather in the big building with the “swell front” oa Fourth street and Washirigton avenue. | HAVE A LOOK! HAVE A LOOK! a ee tv & great place. If you don’t believe &, ask any member wwho isn’t in arrears with his dues or his ies all aboard for the Sign of the Cherry Diamond. “Have a look! | Have a look! Bs Put your fist on the visitors’ register and come Sey we can't let you dally here in the lobby where om tables are. If you stopped you mightn’t want to eae any further. Jump in the efevator, and we'll hike oe. to the seventh floor. a As you approach the top of the shaft you will note = a ‘goft red glow. ‘That isn’t an electric light effect. é be What you see is the astral body, the aura, the ‘‘psy- _ ethic egs” of Brooklyn Tommy Sullivan, the auburn- pone Pooh Bah of the gymnasium. CLOTHES DON’T MAKE ATHLETE. "Walk right in and shake hands with Tommy, He 2. “won't hurt you. He’s a nice, gentlemanly little fel- ys low when he has his clothes on. That’s one of the cate first things you have to learn about an athletic club. | ‘The best athlete in the world isn’t worth shucks ia i +" sack suit, a turnover collar and a four-in-hand tte. ‘But take his clothes away from him and give him a ‘breech clout or a pair of 3%cent bargain counter : panties and he'll work his head off trying to run 1% the M. A. C. this way, ladies and gentlemen, and we'll take _ SBE FIERCE HANDBALL MEN, , in this big wire cage “we have two of the indoor handball players ever placed in cap- ty. See how they jump about and strike, some- mee s the ball, sometimes the air. They are always | at way, poor fellows. ‘lheir case is hopeless, “Nice little athletes,” and they'll eat out of We e hand. He is the only one who seems to _ be able to do anything with these observation ward Watch him turn the spokes of that pilot’s wheel and ‘ him as he merrily sings: “Fourteen feet through il valley” as he gages out over the Mississippi. , nasium stunts. When do suet ng else they put him at he does his work there well, they Rye | vacancy on the steering commit- be, Turning the wheel is said to be fine exercise torture room, that apartment over sOundproof walls and doors, and the & post at each corner, That's Where When he takes his onan, oft. alone. Nt be good Tommy ane nin ) hm into ‘the sorta we” and performs slaparotomy on him. Tommy can hit & man in more different places at once than anybody in town. With moral suasion this redhead could make an athlete out of an Egyptian mummy, “Duck or get punched,” is Tommy’s moito. JUST TRY A MILE TROT HERE. Before leaving the gymnasium. take out your pecket microscope and look at the track. It's made of Cost-You-More mattresses and there are 396 laps to the mile, but it has turned many an athletic tor- toise into a Marathon runner, A man who ean run a mile around that track without becoming dizzy can do anything. The sixth and the fifth floors.are sacred, Members sleep there. There is a rumor that sometimes they play casino, with cigar bands for stakes, but this has not been verified, so it is stated with all re- serve, Far be it from athietes to gamble. Why waste time lifting a jackpot when you can go to the top floor and be introduced to a dumbbel] that has just been “put. up at the club.”’ You might wander all day on the fifth and sixth floors and never meet a kitty—in the corridors, It's just a nice, quiet place, where nothing ever happens. , OH, SUCH AN EXCITEMENT. The real excitement is on the next floor down, where the shuffleboard tables and the bowling alleys are. Shuffleboard-—there’s the game. So athletic. Often there are two, sometimes three members playing i: at the same time. A little practice at this game wi:!! so develop the wrist that it will stand the Nardest slap without flinching. The club is figuring on fit- ting up living rooms for the exclusive use of shuff'e boarders. In this class they will place all members who shuffle away without paying their board bills. The Missouri Athletic Club is proud of its bowlers and its shuffleboard players. If ever there is a shuf- fleboard tournament, the Cherry Diamond team wil! * i the boards. They need Sweeping, too. They are always covered with wite sand, which doesn't look neat for an up-to-date, spick and span club lik: the M. A. C, CUE WIELDERS ARE CLAD.’ On the second floor the club members play pil liards and pool. You will note that no innovation=- have been introduced here. The Cherry Diamon4 Players, like al) others, hold the large end of the cue in one hand and strike the ball with the smal] ena. Some of them would be more comfortabe if they had on no clothes, but the breech clout is barred here. Now we're back to the first floor. Here yoy sev. the real athletic members. Watch them while they lift highballs and juggle with bottles and glassware They are the sinews of the club. They tide the brave Ship Athletic over the bar. Tf it were not for the business done here and in the dining room on the third floor there wouldn't be enough money to buy medals for Tommy 8Sulli- van's observation ward patients up Near the roof. SPLASH, THEN A SANDWICH. Come down in the basement and see primitive man at his best. Here is the pool—the big splash, and it’s back to the breech clout, or less. Here is where one touch of nature makes the whole world skin. Here is where you'll find the staid citizens. Some of them have stayed all night in the Turkish bath. Answer truly, now, did you ever eat dinner without any clothes on? Don't cross your fingers. Speak right up. If you never did or if you never heard of such a thing you can learn a great deal right down here in the Cherry Diamond basement. These un- dress dinners are a fad here. Half of the bathers who come here at the lunch hour jump into the pool, swim about for a quarter of an hour and then sit at those little tables with a dry napkin and wet breech clout wae take their mid- day meal, Sometimes they bring ladies with them—but, mercy me, don't be shocked. The ladies don’t come down here. They sit in the waiting room on the office floor until their escorts have finisied thelp Father Adam meal, ooten

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NEW YORK MAN THOUGHT ST. LOUIS CLUB MUST CARRY A BIG MORTGAGE an»

re “What Does It Look Like to Y ou?" Said Gov. Francis After Showing Visitor Through Magnificent Club house, and Frank Retly Took a Somewhat Un. expected Lurn—Stories of St. Loutsans.

OV. FRANCIS was showitig.a New York ar- G chitect the beauties of the St. Louis Club. He pointed out to him the marble staircase leading to the brilllantly lighted ballroom, showed him the exquisitely appointed billiard roomg.-and library and gave him a peep at the swimming pool. In fact the Governor overlooked none of the good points of the building, nor did he fail to mention the amounts the cost. Finally, after escorting his guest al) about the building and landing him once more at the foot of the marble sta'rcase, Gov) Francis asked: “Now what does our clubhouse look like to you?’ For a moment the visitor did not reply to the enthusiastic question. Then he said, softly: “Your clubhouse looks to me Hke it has. a big mortgag> on ft.” 3 HE COULD TELL A STORY. TER @ neat and flowery speech at the reunion A of the United Spanish War Veterans in Kan- sas City, ‘the toastmaster finished by saying: “And now, in the name of the comrades of the Spanish War, I give to Robert E. Lee of St. Louis a gavel made from cherry wood. The cherry was grown at Mount Vernon, the home of the illustrious George Washington.”’ In reply, Robert E. Lee said: ‘I thank you hear- tily for this little token. But I am at a loss to know just why cherry wood from Mount Vernon was se- lected as material for this gavel.’’ ‘‘Because you won the story-telling prize in. the St. Louis Ad Men's League,’’ someone said, just loud enough for it to be heard over the room. And then “Bob’’ Lee had to sit down. His pre- pared speech was drowned out in deafening applause. «“NABOB” FLATTERED GOLTRA. HEN William Jennings Bryan arrived in New W York last year from his tour of the world, he was met by Edward Goltra of St. Louls and taken aboard Mr. Goltra’s yacht, Illini. Now, Mr. Goltra is a Bryan man clear through, although he travels around the country In a private car and belongs to a class generally supposed to be afraid of Mr. Bryan as a presidential possibility. Some of the New York newspapers took occasion to make fun of Mr. Goltra, as a steel magnate, hob- nobbing with the enemy of the trusts. One Repub- lican organ referred to the St. Louis man as a “na- bob at the time, and has spoken of him the same way ever since. Last *veek, when Mr. Goltra landed in New York from }‘s yacht, after a long cruise, the same paper again called Mr. Goltra. a nabob. “See here, Goltra,’’ said a friend of his. ‘I know the editor of that paper well. Let’s go up and see him and put a stop to this thing of your being called that all the time. So Mr. Goltra and his friend called on the editor. “So this is Mr. Goltra, the nabob,” said the news- paper man as soon as they had been introduced. After some 15 minutes of talk, Mr. Goltra and his friend left and started for the Waldorf. “Why in the world didn’t you say sometiiing to that man about calling you a nabob,” inquired the friend. “Well,” replied Mr. Goltra, “I felt so big sitting there in that room full of new::aper men and hav- ing all of them look up to me as a nabob that I couldn't say @ word against it.” iS THIS A FISH STORY? RIENDS of “Jack” Powell, pitcher for Mr. Hedges’ St. Louis Browns, are fond of telling how he ordered a meal at the Hotel Rosier one evening after a defeat. A negro waiter appeared beside Jack's table as the twirler sat down, and asked what the guest would have. “Bottle o’ beer and some shade,” replied “Jack, somewhat sourly. : In a few minutes the negro returned apd smil- ingly deposited a bottle of popular brew in front of the box artist. “Where's the shade?” growled “Jack.” so flerte~ lv that the dusky beer-carrier’s smile disappeared and he hastened to pull down the curtatns about the dining room. at his elbow, smiling broadly, the curve-dispenser.. 3 was displeased. ¥ * a “Didn't you hear me say I wanted shade?” he cried at the waiter. The negro bowed, backed away and pulled down ever other curtain in the room that h» had not ae attended to before. Powell happened to see him. “C’mere, you soot-stained son of a Senegambian,” he shouted at the walter. “T didn’t tell you to pull down any curtains. I told you I wanted some shade—S-H-A-D—shade. Now get ™*, or Ill”’—— But the negro had fled to tLe kitchen. He returned in time with the fish. THE TEXAN’S SUPERLATIVE. RESIDENT ROBERT LEE HEDGES of the P St. Louis Browns, has just signed a piteher' by the name of Dode Chrigs, ef 2 Arto se the St. Loujs team next year. ~~. : . Chriss comes from Texas, and it. ‘ae tite’ the . frowtie were training in that part of the country last spring that he was first recommended to Mr. Hedges. % | A tall, lank Texan, a baseball “fan” from the ground up, called on Mr. Hedges at the Hotel in Austin to tell how wonderful Chriss was. When ie got through talking there was nothing good that he had not said about the pitcher. “Your friend is a very great man, then,” said Mr. Hedges. . “Indeed he its, sir. the greatest I have ever known,”’ was the reply. “Greater than .am Houston?’ asked the president of the team. “Oh, yes,”’ said the “fan.” “Greater than Senator Cu'berron?”’ ‘Much greater,” was the reply. ‘How about Roosevelt?’ “Greater vem than he.”’ “Is that so?” said Mr. Hedges. ‘Well is he greater than Joe Bailey?” Now those people of the Lone Star State who are friendly to Senator Bailey have an idea that the sun rises and sets in his front yard. The Texan was one of them. He scratched his head a while and thought it over. “It's just this way, Mr. Hedges.,"’ said he finally. “This here Dode Chriss is a young man yet.”’ Chriss will be given a trial. TENOR AND POLITICs. AJ. EMMETT NEWTON of Springfield and St. Louis, who prides himself on his inti- mate acquaintance with politics and poll- ticlans in every county of Missouri, is a trifle leas ae familiar with grand opera than he ts with several a other subjects. age However, the Major believes tn encouraging art, and, for that reason, accepted the invitataion of a friend to hear “Lucia” sung at the Odeon one night. - When the technically critical audience enthused over _ Alice Nielsen and the other principals, Newton en-* | thused, too, and only regretted that ne could not get up and shout his approval as if at a convention: Applauce reached its climax when Constantino; the = Spanish tenor, sang an aria in the last act. Newton’ a3 ; outward manifestations of approval were as loud as his neighbors would permit. After the performance Newton was Presented to. lierr chard Spamer, an operatic critic. Spammer — ticularly of Constantino. “Magnificent, wonderful, sublime,” observed dues: mer, referring to Constantino. “Do you not think — from my ward for any Old office he wanted.” WHEN MR. FISHELL WAS AN ACTOR. AN FIGHELL, ‘manager of the Garrick Thea-_ ter, Was Once an actor. When he was qjuch younger than he is now, he and a friend did_ -“We were gettting slong all right, ton, * Powell di@n’t even look up to see what his black armmoweg wae doing. When he saw the negro _—— * a te eed lead