Podcasts · Notes from the Edge
Why is it so hard to leave when they hurt you? Trauma Bonding, Coercive Control & Abusive Relationships | Solo Episode with Lisa Lacy
· 14 min · Episode 97
Episode Why is it so hard to leave when they hurt you? Trauma Bonding, Coercive Control & Abusive Relationships | Solo Episode with Lisa Lacy
Why can leaving someone who hurts you feel almost impossible?
Lisa Lacy, trauma educator and relationship advisor, explores trauma bonding and why intelligence alone cannot protect us from relationships that reshape our attachment, reward, and stress systems.
At 40, while in inpatient rehab, Lisa was told she was trauma bonded to her husband. Her response was, “I’m too smart for that.” It would take three more years to go fully no contact, and another three to work through the anger and resentment left behind. In this solo episode, she explains the biology of intermittent reinforcement, why separation can feel unbearable, and why shame rarely helps someone leave sooner.
In this episode:
• Trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement • Coercive control in abusive relationships • Dopamine, oxytocin, cortisol and the stress response • Why people leave and return repeatedly • No contact and breaking the cycle • Moving from survival to self-trust
Connect with Lisa:
www.Lisa Lacy.com
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