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Podcasts · Sports

Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger

300 episodes

Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn't think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Episodes page 5 of 6

  1. The best 9.3% of the FA Cup draw, the "stand named after you" threshold & Richard Keys on cars

    · 37 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some baffling new transferspeak, some glorious audio of away fans thinking they've scored and being…

  2. An educated left head, the first goal ever uploaded to YouTube & the "big-money signing" formula

    · 39 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the mainstream media jump on the Pep Sacking Threshold bandwagon, some beautifully unnecessary detail about a…

  3. Sunday League set-piece routines, the "olé" threshold & mistimed minute's applauses: The listeners' loves & hates

    · 46 min

    Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the…

  4. 5.54 seconds of away-goal confusion, footballers in US T-junctions and the official Keys & Gray app

    · 43 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: A new world record for away fans slowly realising their team has scored, Mark Schwarzer ties himself in…

  5. The Bosman legacy, optimum camera angles & double saves, with Luke Moore

    · 1 h 26 min

    The pod welcomes Football Ramble podcast supremo Luke Moore for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Luke's selections are the early…

  6. 59 consecutive hat-tricks, yo-yo countries and the first-ever usage of "tippy-tappy football”

    · 37 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: England's League B promotion glory, a listener solves last week's Consecutive Hat-Tricks Career Pathway puzzle,…

  7. Deodorant ads, Don(ald) Goodman & "The Deeney Guy": Cliches meets Sky Sports commentator Bill Leslie

    · 1 h 00 min

    The pod welcomes commentator Bill Leslie for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Bill and the panel explore stadium architecture quirks,…

  8. xG meets crime dramas & the Sunday League to Premier League hat-trick pathway

    · 36 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the first-ever mention of xG in a mainstream TV drama, cult Spurs strikers plying their trade in academia, how many…

  9. The Vitality Stadium swing state, Noel Gallagher's co-comms & the "big five" of cheese

    · 43 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the BBC explains the US electoral system in unexpected football terms, Noel Gallagher's…

  10. ”Still 0-0, lads!", a man named Hattrick & the mid-2010s throw-in scandal

    · 43 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a dubious use of the Sunday League staple of "Still 0-0, lads!", some unprecedented Carabao Cup co-commentary…

  11. Curses vs Hoodoos, journeyman film directors & Keysey's philosophers

    · 43 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a classic footballers' namesake mix-up, whether a goalkeeper's save in a shootout can "send a team into the…

  12. Jack Reacher's Villa 5-a-side team, two Andy Townsends & the most darts-looking PL manager

    · 42 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the post-Ten Hag news cycle begins in earnest, a brief but tantalising moment of doubt over whether Peter Drury…

  13. Styling out fake injuries & "How long ref?!": The listeners' loves & hates (feat. Doc Brown)

    · 1 h 04 min

    Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by returning special guest Doc Brown to entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche…

  14. Salah's Sunday 4.30pm supremacy, Fred Again's biscuits & going down like a game of Jenga

    · 43 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a player going down "like a game of Jenga", a record amount of figurative "freedom" for a Premier League…

  15. The definitive game for every football scoreline

    · 1 h 17 min

    Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by Michael Cox to decide the most famous match from football history to go with (almost) every scoreline. A bore draw or a backs-to-the-wall job for 0-0? Can…

  16. Armchair admirals, Roberto Carlos darts & "Doing a [Club X]”

    · 39 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the most cliche-aware player in the Premier League, acceptable football references at the darts and unacceptable…

  17. Cliches vs The Football Ramble - The Football Cliches Quiz XV

    · 1 h 16 min

    The Football Clichés Quiz returns with a visit from a two-man team from the venerable Football Ramble podcast for a battle of niche football trivia. The questions include: The Eredivisie or Neverdivisie, failed UK…

  18. Liverpool's radar status, lusty bangers & Richard Keys’ 12,476-game TV marathon

    · 43 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether a goalkeeper can qualify for the "who else but...?" treatment, David Beckham on air ambulances, the most…

  19. First names on shirts, Footy Scran technicalities & the FPL universe, with Ellis Platten

    · 1 h 11 min

    The pod welcomes AwayDays Youtube supremo Ellis Platten for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Ellis's selections are football…

  20. An incredible football birthday card, Dutch league-table madness & Mick McCarthy in the jungle

    · 42 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a baffling Premier League incident depicted on a birthday card, an accidental new nickname for Micky van de Ven,…

  21. Football's shortest spell, the "in charge" threshold & the first half/second half vibe experiment

    · 38 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the shortest “spell” ever documented in football, the textbook body language of a player subbed off in the…

  22. Beating the commentators to the punch and the ideal conditions for "nothing doing": The Listeners' fascinations and irritations

    · 49 min

    Adam Hurrey, David Walker, and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections…

  23. Footballing military ranks, Carabao chaos & a phrase only Sean Dyche would use

    · 43 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: amateur league fortresses, Kylian Mbappe ascends to the "If Player X did that" throne, Mark Clattenburg's…

  24. Jamie Carragher's match-ball voice, promotion fodder & three-sided fortresses

    · 54 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a story of Sunday League admin woe, Jamie Carragher's vocal impression of a match ball waiting to be headed home,…

  25. Carsley culture, scorelines you'd take before the game & the most left-footed Premier League club

    · 51 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: predicting the cultural impact of Lee Carsley’s England reign, an Arsenal legend's name in the NFL, the acceptable…

  26. ”Welcome to League C", pointless penalty shootouts & the connoisseur's referee whistle

    · 48 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and, on loan from the Career We Go podcast, Bobby Faghihi. On the agenda: the Nations League receives another stamp of approval from the language of…

  27. Silky Toblerones, Serbian football small talk & telepathic right-backs

    · 38 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Jack Lang on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the official Football Cliches Sporcle quiz, a beautifully baffling inclusion in a European footballer’s Wikipedia…

  28. Cometh the minute, poetic Andy Townsend and Keysey's quote-tweet masterpiece

    · 44 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Jack Lang on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Charlie Eccleshare's Talksport tennis cameo, Peter Drury's new goalscoring surname obsession, Eddie Howe on Oasis goes…

  29. The Adjudication Panel: The minutes left vs blood pressure ratio

    · 38 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Michael Dawson's entry into the "so-called" pantheon, the latest bit of Romanian football-related small talk…

  30. The Adjudication Panel: Sparking a stroll, rickets vs howlers, and the Champions League anthem revamp

    · 51 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a welcome variation on a 'bit of both' from Gary Neville, the benefits of being as precise as possible when…

  31. Players spotting themselves on the big screen & ironic referee cheering: The listeners' loves & hates

    · 40 min

    Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the…

  32. The Adjudication Panel: Big nutmegs, premature pacesetters & footballing disciples

    · 53 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: The strangest way yet of expressing how young Brighton's manager is, a factual footballing catastrophe on an…

  33. The Adjudication Panel: Transfer limbo, Romania '94 small talk & Merson does Strictly

    · 40 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Diego Forlan as the most "tennis" footballer of modern times, some 8/10 football small talk on Coronation…

  34. The Adjudication Panel: Sleeping horses and Harry Kane's complex classy touch

    · 43 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: new heights for the concept of "peak Watford", one last round-up of curious Olympic commentary, whether you can…

  35. The "Summer 2024 Transfers That Just Feel So Right" XI

    · 55 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Nick's unexpectedly gruelling journey to witness Jose Mourinho's managerial return, the continuing battle of the…

  36. The Adjudication Panel: Carbon-copy commentary & where clubs store their pre-season minutes

    · 43 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some gloriously harmonious Olympic football commentary, some FA Cup revenge 72 years in the making, Man…

  37. The Adjudication Panel: Footballers with Olympicy names & Unexpected Kevin Keegan

    · 43 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the moral implications of winning Most Improved Player two years in a row, the latest soap opera footballing…

  38. The Adjudication Panel: Steve Coogan is playing Mick McCarthy in a film, what else is there to talk about?

    · 49 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: whether you can "build a team around" a left-back, a data dive into a flippant newspaper line about Danny…

  39. The Football Clichés Quiz XIV: Cliches vs The Sweeper

    · 1 h 30 min

    The Football Clichés Quiz returns and the latest opposition for the Clichés team are the world football experts from The Sweeper podcast, whose focus is the furthest-flung corners of the footballing globe. The…

  40. The Adjudication Panel: "A real plomb", big-match dust-settling & the worst football Q&A night ever

    · 36 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Alan Pardew reacting to the big US politics developments, fully media-trained MLS 14-year-olds, how much attention we should be…

  41. Squad arrival videos, MOTM substitutes & watching football on holiday: The listeners' loves & hates

    · 57 min

    Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the…

  42. The Adjudication Panel: Unhinged pre-match montages & Heartbreak vs Heartache (2024 edition)

    · 43 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the final Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: whether England's tournament failure was a "heartbreak" or "heartache", the Peak Montage…

  43. The Adjudication Panel: From Talksport to NATO - a cultural review of England 2 Netherlands 1

    · 47 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a cultural review of England 2 Netherlands 1 (from Talksport to NATO via…

  44. The Adjudication Panel: Euro 2024's future Premier League forgettables & the Jordan Pickford penalty-heroics threshold

    · 40 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: an unexpected footballer's name pops up in the General Election polls, a radio commentator…

  45. The Adjudication Panel: Misstiano Penaldo, "The Misquoted One” & arm-wrestling with Martin Keown

    · 51 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the Wimbledon tennis doing Wimbledon tennis things, a perfectly wrong football analogy on…

  46. The Adjudication Panel: The England clamour table, bending your run & dancing on the streets of City X

    · 41 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: which player is at the front of the England clamour queue now, Jude Bellingham's self-referential…

  47. The Adjudication Panel: The unifying experience of watching England struggle to play football

    · 40 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the Stockholm syndrome of England at their laborious worst, Sir Geoff Hurst's silky-smooth…

  48. The Adjudication Panel: Martin Keown's GCSEs, Pro Evo Jules Kounde & when nations hold their breath

    · 39 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Ali Maxwell for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the depths of Euros short-form video content, a curious commentator intonation for a full-back…

  49. The Adjudication Panel: The vocabulary of an England group-stage draw & Euro 2024’s Commentator’s Curse

    · 49 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest Adjudication Panel of Euro 2024. The agenda includes: the inevitable keywords of the latest England group-stage non-event, some eerily good…

  50. The Adjudication Panel: The Euros that didn't need to burst into life

    · 43 min

    Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the first Adjudication Panel of Euro 2024. The agenda includes: the (very predictable) reaction to England's laborious win over Serbia, Gabriel Clarke…

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