Podcasts · Parenting With Psychology
Why "Who Do You Want Tonight?" Backfires
· 12 min · Episode 189
Episode Why "Who Do You Want Tonight?" Backfires
When your child prefers one parent, that stretch where they suddenly only want one of you — it's one of the most common and most misunderstood phases in early parenting. Most parents respond by accidentally gamifying it, and that's the exact thing that makes it worse.
In this podcast, a licensed clinical psychologist breaks down why treating "who do you want tonight?" like a contest backfires, and what to say and do instead so both parents feel valued, and your child learns that love isn't something you win.
Research on infant-parent attachment shows preference patterns are a normal, temporary part of development, but how parents respond to them determines whether the pattern fades or gets reinforced.
In this podcast:
→ The bedtime habit that's accidentally training your child to pick favorites
→ Why cheering for the "winner" makes preference worse, not better
→ The Interchangeable Parent Rule, and the exact words to use tonight
→ What to do when your child protests the parent they didn't pick
→ How this connects to raising a child who thrives long-term
Grab my free Better Behavior Guide 👉 https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/better
Links in the notes 1
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