Podcasts · The Rollercoaster Podcast
I Gave Him the Best Week of His Life - Now My Cousin is Dead
· 50 min
Episode I Gave Him the Best Week of His Life - Now My Cousin is Dead
A few days before 16-year-old Landon took his own life, he spent what felt like one of the best weeks of his life with his cousin, Landon Ashworth.
They ate way too much sushi, played golf, shot guns, laughed, talked about life, and dreamed about the future. When the week ended, Landon told him how much he needed it. He seemed happy. He seemed okay.
Then came the phone call that changed everything.
I sit down with filmmaker, actor, writer, and creator Landon Ashworth for an incredibly raw conversation about suicide, autism, grief, survivor’s guilt, and the things we sometimes don't see until it's too late.
In this episode:
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Losing his 16-year-old cousin Landon to suicide
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The warning signs he wishes he had recognized sooner
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Growing up autistic, masking, bullying, and feeling misunderstood
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The survivor’s guilt he still carries after Landon’s death
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Turning grief into his deeply personal film Go On
Landon opens up about experiencing suicidal thoughts himself and why he now isn’t afraid to directly ask someone if they’re thinking about taking their own life.
We also talk about the painful reality of trying to help someone find their way out of the darkness, why emotional pain can feel impossible to escape, and the importance of finding something worth holding onto.
This conversation is heavy. But more than anything, it’s about choosing to keep going.
Key Moments:
00:00 The week before everything changed
03:03 When Landon’s future fell apart
06:25 The week that made him feel okay again
10:02 The phone call no one expected
13:43 The guilt of missing the signs
17:02 The suicide warning signs he missed
20:23 The reality of masking autism
24:00 Why other people’s opinions mean nothing
29:39 What an autistic brain can feel like
34:29 The Hollywood advice Landon couldn’t accept
38:00 Why vulnerable people started finding him
41:37 Turning Landon’s suicide into Go On
45:01 Finding a reason to stay alive
48:02 How to get out of emotional hell
Connect with Me:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/
Connect with Landon Ashworth:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/landonashworthdirects/
#SuicidePrevention #AutismAwareness #SurvivorsGuilt
Links in the notes 2
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