Podcasts · Society & Culture

PsycHacks

Orion Taraban

300 episodes

Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides listeners with a brief, thought-provoking episode several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by my clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each episode to inspire listeners to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light.

Episodes page 1 of 6

  1. Episode 669: My reading list (how to get it)

    · 8:01 · Episode 710

    Get my free reading list: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com Not a week goes by without a viewer contacting me for book recommendations. You've asked; I've delivered. In this episode, I announce my reading list: the 100…

  2. Episode 668: They're watching (your biggest fans)

    · 9:15 · Episode 684

    They're watching – and what if the unseen audience isn't hoping for your failures, but desperately waiting for your victories. In this episode, I present a thought experiment that will help you conceptualize your…

  3. Episode 667: Unhappiness and love (why so many people struggle)

    · 10 min · Episode 683

    Unhappiness and love may be more closely related than most people realize. In this episode, I explain why so many people struggle in romantic relationships, arguing that people use them too often to escape from…

  4. Episode 666: A citizen of the world (be a good guest)

    · 9:15 · Episode 682

    What does it mean to be a citizen of the world in an increasingly globalized society? In this episode, I explain how travel can broad your perspectives, challenge cultural assumptions, and reveal the humanity we share…

  5. Episode 665: Objectify him (texting)

    · 9:41 · Episode 702

    It seems like both men and women are bad at texting. This is generally due to the fact that both sides are giving the other what they hope to receive – not what the other genuinely desires. This stimulates deep-seated…

  6. Episode 664: Arrogance (Lindsay Clancy)

    · 9:20 · Episode 701

    In this episode, I discuss the Lindsay Clancy mistrial in the context of certain controversial statements made by several jurors after deliberations ended. Whether they were aware of it or not, their arrogance was on…

  7. Episode 663: Make her obsessed (the importance of contrast)

    · 12 min · Episode 689

    When you deepen a woman's initial interest into emotional engagement, you make her obsessed. In this episode, I explain the importance of contrast, and why this element can create depth, intrigue, and fascination. By…

  8. Episode 662: Keeping the peace (standing up to female bullies)

    · 10 min · Episode 698

    Constantly trying to manage your partner's feelings does not lead to peace. Emotional externalizers turn relationships into imbalanced systems – and assertive boundaries are required to resist their sway. However, this…

  9. Episode 661: Reasonable doubt (Lindsay Clancy)

    · 12 min · Episode 699

    In this episode, I discuss whether the evidence supports reasonable doubt about Lindsay Clancy's mental state at the time of the murders. I also examine the diagnoses involved, questioning whether they can legitimately…

  10. Episode 660: I can't tell you what to do (a structural problem)

    · 8:37 · Episode 700

    In this episode, I discuss the structural problem at the heart of all advice meant for mass consumption. Generalities are broadly true but difficult to apply, while specifics are actionable but often irrelevant or…

  11. Episode 659: Never her fault (Lindsay Clancy)

    · 13 min · Episode 696

    Can depression or psychosis be invoked to erase responsibility? The support for Lindsay Clancy indicates that some people believe it is never her fault. Using examples from her supporters, this episode explores the…

  12. Episode 658: The five hard conversations (preventing divorce)

    · 11 min · Episode 692

    The five hard conversations reveal major relationship incompatibilities before they become deeply entrenched and may collectively be one of the best tools for preventing divorce. Every serious couple needs to talk…

  13. Episode 657: When empathy is evil (Lindsay Clancy)

    · 11 min · Episode 691

    When empathy is evil, compassion overrides accountability, justice, and concern for the true victims. Using the case of Lindsay Clancy, this episode examines the psychological forces behind the public response to a…

  14. Episode 656: Cultivating need (keep her busy)

    · 9:02 · Episode 681

    Cultivating need is a controversial, but pragmatic approach to maintaining long-term relationships. In this episode, I explain why the intentional cultivation of need can strengthen bonds and prevent relationships from…

  15. Episode 655: Finding good women (how to test them)

    · 13 min · Episode 679

    Finding good women depends on your ability to discern which women are enthusiastic about entering your frame – and which women aren't. In this episode, I explain how to test them using simple, reasonable requests to…

  16. Episode 654: 90% love (don't go all the way)

    · 11 min · Episode 678

    This episode was inspired by Patrice O'Neal, who once said he only offers a woman 90% love. This is really good advice. Boundaries may be antithetical to love, but they do make for good relationships. By all means,…

  17. Episode 653: She ain't yours (she's yours for now)

    · 11 min · Episode 677

    Men set themselves up for disappointment when they think of the women in their lives as theirs. The truth is she ain't yours – she's yours for now. Using a viral real-world story, I examine hypergamy, loyalty, and the…

  18. Episode 652: Emotions are resources (what players understand)

    · 10 min · Episode 676

    Emotions are resources – and understanding that idea will change how you see attraction, dating, and long-term relationships. In this episode, I reveal what players understand, namely: emotional engagement is more…

  19. Episode 651: Women are the brakes (men drive progress)

    · 10 min · Episode 675

    Citation: https://archive.org/details/homosexualitiessbellrich In this episode, I explore the idea that women are the brakes on both sexual behavior and social change – while risk-taking men drive progress. Drawing on…

  20. Episode 650: Effort doesn't pay (no one cares about your struggle)

    · 9:02 · Episode 674

    Effort doesn't pay, results do – and the marketplace rewards the value you create rather than the effort you expend. In this episode, I explain why no one cares about your struggle unless it produces outcomes that…

  21. Episode 649: Love is hard (why it is rare)

    · 11 min · Episode 673

    Love is hard because it demands sacrifice – not merely emotion, attraction, or a mutual exchange of value. And this is why it is rare: most people only love to the point where sacrifice becomes personally costly.…

  22. Episode 648: You like toxic (the real reason you go back)

    · 11 min · Episode 672

    You like toxic more than you realize, and recognizing that uncomfortable truth is the first step toward lasting change. In this episode, I explore the real reason you go back, arguing that chaos, drama, and pain are…

  23. Episode 647: How to be physically attractive (the five principles)

    · 13 min · Episode 670

    Looksmaxxing – the modern male movement to become more physically attractive – is not essentially bad, though it is mired in problematic personalities and bad faith marketing. In this episode, I discuss how to be…

  24. Episode 646: Love the label (put yourself in a box)

    · 12 min · Episode 671

    Love the label by embracing a clear identity instead of trying to appeal to everyone in the marketplace. In this episode, I explain why it behooves you to put yourself in a box and become known for one thing before…

  25. Episode 645: Looksmaxxing (why it's going viral)

    · 12 min · Episode 669

    Looksmaxxing is the current viral trend in which men seek to improve their physical attractiveness using physical, cosmetic, and surgical procedures and techniques. In this episode, I explain why it's going viral,…

  26. Episode 644: Love mobs (they don't work for women)

    · 10 min · Episode 668

    In this episode, I explore an emergent phenomenon in the sexual marketplace I call “love mobs,” concentrations of female attraction on a small number of highly visible men. While these behaviors may make the admirers…

  27. Episode 643: Haters are good (how being disliked helps you)

    · 15 min · Episode 667

    As someone with firsthand experience, I can assure you that haters are good. In this episode, I discuss how being disliked helps you by testing the power of your arguments, strengthening your convictions, and revealing…

  28. Episode 642: Forget it (have a short memory)

    · 12 min · Episode 666

    Healing requires understanding and forgiveness – but it may also require forgetfulness. In this episode, I explain why successful people have a short memory and quickly re-engage after setbacks. Holding on to pain can…

  29. Episode 641: Paying to play (the two exceptions)

    · 14 min · Episode 663

    Most relationships involve some form of exchange, but many people overlook the transactional nature of paying to play in modern dating. Both traditional marriage and sugaring relationships exist on the same continuum…

  30. Episode 640: Your past (moving forward from pain)

    · 12 min · Episode 658

    Your past can shape you, but it doesn't have to define you – especially when moving forward from pain is the path to self-realization. In this episode, I challenge the idea that suffering justifies withdrawal from life…

  31. Episode 639: Obedience (a model for women)

    · 15 min · Episode 661

    Everyone is obedient to something, and this obedience (properly applied) provides the necessary structure for self-improvement and functional relationships. In this episode, I present a model for women in which I argue…

  32. Episode 638: Love bombing (the two budgets)

    · 12 min · Episode 664

    Love bombing is a courtship strategy that overwhelms partners with attention and affection before effort inevitably declines. In today's episode, I explain the economic logic behind romance, revealing how dating…

  33. Episode 637: Never restore a woman (don't take her back)

    · 11 min · Episode 651

    Many men are monomaniacally focused on getting an ex back. However, you should never restore a woman to her previous level of commitment after she has chosen to leave. Just like you can't step into the same river…

  34. Episode 636: Your best life (an ideal Tuesday)

    · 10 min · Episode 644

    Designing your best life is less about chasing peak experiences and more about building a sustainable daily structure. By focusing on an ideal Tuesday, you can create a repeatable process that balances work, health,…

  35. Episode 635: Women are endurance hunters (stop running from her)

    · 9:56 · Episode 660

    Some women are endurance hunters. They apply steady pressure over time until resistance collapses. In this episode, I discuss how incremental demands can shape power dynamics over time. The solution is simple, but…

  36. Episode 634: The death of speech (why we need men)

    · 9:48 · Episode 650

    Recent research has revealed significant gender differences with respect to tolerance for opposing viewpoints. In today's episode, I argue that male social norms around respect and restraint may play a crucial role in…

  37. Episode 633: Love cheats (the unfaithful spouse)

    · 14 min · Episode 659

    Why do so many romances involve betrayal? In this episode, I explain why love cheats as a narrative device to measure the depth and intensity of the romantic connection. This trope dates back to the very first romance,…

  38. Episode 632: The gift of your absence (if you can't leave)

    · 11 min · Episode 654

    When respect breaks down, the gift of your absence can remind others of your value by withdrawing from unproductive dynamics. But what happens if you can't leave – because of work, family, or shared responsibilities?…

  39. Episode 631: A million dollar dream (it's worth the work)

    · 13 min · Episode 653

    A loving, stable, long-term relationship with a supportive and attractive woman is a million dollar dream. Both may be rare – but potentially not as rare as many might think. Like building wealth, creating a top-tier…

  40. Episode 630: A means to an end (three lessons)

    · 10 min · Episode 656

    In a rapidly changing world, understanding that everything you have is a means to an end can protect you from the unnecessary suffering arising from inappropriate identification. In this episode, I present three…

  41. Episode 629: Wanting a wife (the secretary problem)

    · 13 min · Episode 665

    Why are modern marriages breaking down? In this episode, I argue that one of the root causes is that both men and women are wanting a wife. The secretary problem reveals an enduring male preference: men will enter into…

  42. Episode 628: Smart people are happy (understanding intelligence)

    · 13 min · Episode 662

    Contrary to popular belief, smart people are happy because they successfully apply their intelligence to the problem of their own happiness and fulfillment. Understanding intelligence as the ability to solve problems…

  43. Episode 627: Just be yourself (the best and worst advice)

    · 13 min · Episode 655

    Is “just be yourself” good advice? In today's episode, I explain why authenticity only works after disciplined self-development has generated competence, confidence, and results. The truth is that becoming who you want…

  44. Episode 626: Wounds (your greatest gift)

    · 12 min · Episode 652

    Our deepest wounds can become enduring sources of wisdom and value when we refuse to let pain define us. In this episode, I explain how suffering – when mastered through discipline and intention – can be transformed…

  45. Episode 625: Detach (how men show up)

    · 12 min · Episode 649

    Attachment theory dominates modern dating advice, but this might be leading men in the wrong direction. In this episode, I explain why emotional attachment matters more for women, and how its misapplication distorts…

  46. Episode 624: The samurai (a model for men)

    · 11 min · Episode 648

    The samurai stands as a model for men, embodying disciplined strength without sacrificing emotional depth. Rather than suppressing sensitivity, the samurai integrates masculine resolve with feminine awareness to…

  47. Episode 623: How women win (happy hunting)

    · 13 min · Episode 647

    In this episode, I explain how women win in the sexual marketplace by shifting from passive dating to strategic selection. From a woman's perspective, preparation – not promiscuity – is the key to long-term success. I…

  48. Episode 622: The bird test (responding to women)

    · 9:47 · Episode 646

    The bird test is a viral relationship trend that claims to measure emotional attunement through smalls bids for attention, fostering unrealistic expectations about availability and validation. Relationships require…

  49. Episode 621: Bonding (what nature can teach us)

    · 13 min · Episode 657

    The science of bonding reveals how oxytocin shapes different attachment patterns in men and women. By examining these attachment asymmetries, we can gain insight into the hidden forces that guide commitment,…

  50. Episode 620: The end of thought (you can't talk to some people)

    · 14 min · Episode 645

    In today's episode, I explain how therapeutic language can be weaponized to silence disagreement and stigmatize opposing views. When emotions fuse with beliefs, ordinary conflicts can rapidly escalate into moral…

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