285. Why You Stay Stuck in Jobs, Relationships, and Financial Patterns That Aren’t Working with Simone Stolzoff
· 59 min · Episode 285
Episode 285. Why You Stay Stuck in Jobs, Relationships, and Financial Patterns That Aren’t Working with Simone Stolzoff
Why do we stay in jobs, relationships, and financial patterns we know aren't working? Author and journalist Simone Stolzoff is back on the show to talk about his new book, How to Not Know — and the surprising answer has everything to do with our relationship with uncertainty. We're getting into the three certainty traps keeping you stuck, why more information is actually making your anxiety worse, the difference between one-way and two-way door decisions, and what it really takes to break the cycle when you can see the problem but can't seem to move. This is one of the most powerful conversations we've had on this show, and one you'll want to send to everyone you know.
Simone’s links:
How to Not Know: https://bookshop.org/a/90037/9781324089452
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00:00 Intro
01:08 Why Uncertainty Feels Worse Than Bad News
03:14 Three Certainty Traps: Comfort, Hubris & Control
04:49 Why We Struggle to Admit We Were Wrong
05:36 Identity, Doubling Down & Changing Your Mind
10:23 Why Our Tolerance for Uncertainty Is Declining
14:28 More Information, More Anxiety
16:18 Escalating Commitment
16:52 Stop Loss Strategies & Rules-Based Decision Making
20:13 Outsourcing Your Willpower & Knowing Your "Enough"
28:08 Connie & Andrew's "Year of Living Dangerously"
30:21 How to Run Your Own Low-Stakes Life Experiment
35:16 One-Way Door vs. Two-Way Door Decisions
44:39 Ghost Ships: Making Peace with the Paths Not Taken
50:39 The Miscarriage, the Uncertainty & Finding Your Anchors
54:54 How to Not Know
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