Podcasts · Fiction

Absolutely No Adventures

Destiny Howell

36 episodes · in order

Absolutely No Adventures is a fantasy (un)adventure podcast that follows Sig, the owner of Signature Eats bakery, as he aggressively avoids becoming embroiled in any daring quests or chosen one shenanigans even though the universe really seems to want him to do just that. Follow Sig as he chills with his friends and stays far, far away from the slightest whiff of adventure. And bakes. He also bakes.

Episodes

  1. ANA - Teaser Trailer

    · 3:00 · Trailer

    In which the gang tries to shoot a promo. Absolutely No Adventures is a fantasy-(un)adventure audio drama podcast about dodging quests, hanging out with friends, and eating tons of baked goods as the apocalypse…

  2. S1E1 - 1.1 The Sword In The Sheath

    · 15 min · S1 E1

    In which Sig tries to get a sword out of his bakery. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Lady Isadora is Briar Zachary. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript:…

  3. S1E2 - 1.2 Wicked Lost

    · 15 min · S1 E2

    In which a traveler from far away has an interesting to-do list. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript:…

  4. S1E3 - 1.3 Admission Impossible

    · 14 min · S1 E3

    In which Sig is given an offer he very much can refuse. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Oliver is Andrew Oakes. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen.…

  5. S1E4 - 1.4 Happy Days

    · 13 min · S1 E4

    In which Happy has a visitor. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Terri is Demitra Papadinis. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/…

  6. S1E5 - 1.5 Vampire Weekend

    · 12 min · S1 E5

    In which Sig, Bea, and Happy celebrate a holiday. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript:…

  7. S1E6 - 1.6 Post Mortem

    · 12 min · S1 E6

    In which Sig receives some mail. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Luxe is Nina Nikolic. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript:…

  8. S1E7 - 1.7 What The Cat Dragged In

    · 15 min · S1 E7

    In which Bea's services are required. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Oliver is Andrew Oakes. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript:…

  9. S1E8 - 1.8 Something Im-portent

    · 12 min · S1 E8

    In which Sig is understandably concerned. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript:…

  10. S1E9 - 1.9 Last Action Hero

    · 11 min · S1 E9

    In which letters are read. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript: https://anatranscripts.carrd.co/ Learn…

  11. S1E10 - 1.10 Something New

    · 13 min · S1 E10

    In which things come full circle. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Lady Isadora is Briar Zachary. Produced and edited by Audiohm Media. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript:…

  12. S1E11 - SPECIAL Let Them Eat Wedding Cake

    · 1 h 01 min · S1 E11

    In which Sig, Bea, and Happy bake a cake. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Lady Isadora is Briar Zachary. Queen Marigold is Sarah Griffin. Ana is Georgia McCall. Parker is Kaylie…

  13. Presenting: Inn Between

    · 12 min · Bonus

    This week we're featuring friend of the show: Inn Between! The link to their crowdfunding page is here: crowdfundr.com/innbetween5 Listen to more Inn Between at: https://www.thegoblinshead.com/ Transcript:…

  14. Presenting: Dragon's Rest

    · 26 min · Bonus

    This week we're featuring friend of the show: Dragon's Rest! The link to their Instagram page is here: https://www.instagram.com/dragonsrestshow/ Listen to more Dragon's Rest at: https://www.dragonsrestshow.com/…

  15. S2E1 - 2.1 A Familiar Feeling

    · 15 min · S2 E1

    In which Sig has some after hours visitors. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Princess Delphine is Sneha Kumar. Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen.…

  16. S2E2 - 2.2 Failed It!

    · 11 min · S2 E2

    In which a prophecy is revealed. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Sterling is Jack Malban. Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript:…

  17. S2E3 - 2.3 Sweet Dreams

    · 13 min · S2 E3

    In which Sig has a good day! Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Oliver is Andrew Oakes. Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript:…

  18. S2E4 - 2.4 Can't Stand the Heat

    · 12 min · S2 E4

    In which Sig, Bea, and Happy see double. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Queen Isadora is Briar Zachary. Sterling is Jack Malban. Morrigan is Katie Marie. Sunny is Dylan Duck. Queen…

  19. S2E5 - 2.5 Role Call

    · 13 min · S2 E5

    In which Sig, Bea, and Happy get to know each other better. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript:…

  20. S2E6 - 2.6 Mightier Than The Sword

    · 15 min · S2 E6

    In which a problem is resolved. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Briar Zachary is Queen Isadora. Sterling is Jack Malban. Morrigan is Katie Marie. Sunny is Dylan Duck. Princess…

  21. Presenting: The Bardic Hearth

    · 45 min · Bonus

    This week's feed drop features friend of the show: The Bardic Hearth! The link to their Youtube page is here: https://www.youtube.com/@ChaseNoseworthy The link to their Patreon is here:…

  22. ANA Presents: Necessary Evil - Teaser Trailer

    · 5:30 · Trailer

    In which Sibella has an audience with a prisoner. Necessary Evil is a miniseries set in the world of Absolutely No Adventures. It follows evil queen Sibella in her downtime between magic battles and running her seized…

  23. Presenting: Warlock

    · 28 min · Bonus

    This week's feed drop features friend of the show: Warlock! Warlock Episode 3 - Meet Briar: Rose or Thorn? Warlock is a fantasy audio drama with an anime twist following the adventures of Nova, a young woman who…

  24. Presenting: Residents of Proserpina Park

    · 1:46 · Bonus

    This week's feed drop features friend of the show: Residents of Proserpina Park! Residents of Proserpina Park is a monster of the week fiction podcast focusing on mythology. Learn about creatures you’ve never heard of…

  25. Presenting: Hearthbound

    · 3:06 · Bonus

    This week's feed drop features friend of the show: Hearthbound! For more information, check out https://www.hearthboundpod.com/ Transcript: https://www.hearthboundpod.com/episodes/trailer ALSO, ANA Presents:…

  26. ANA Season 3 Crowdfunding!

    · 0:24 · Bonus

    Use the link below to check out the Indiegogo for Season 3 which features perks such as a TTRPG one-shot set in Hexwell, the ability to name a character, and early access to a brand new ANA special which has been…

  27. S2E7 - Necessary Evil: 1 - The Liar, the Witch, and the Warning

    · 18 min · S2 E7

    In which old curses are relitigated. Season 3 of ANA is now crowdfunding: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/absolutely-no-adventures-season-3/x/23915260#/ Support us on Patreon or Kofi! Queen Sibella is Blythe…

  28. S2E8 - Necessary Evil: 2 - Better to Have Hated and Lost

    · 19 min · S2 E8

    In which Castle Blackthorn has an unwelcome visitor. Season 3 of ANA is now crowdfunding: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/absolutely-no-adventures-season-3/x/23915260#/ Support us on Patreon or Kofi! Queen…

  29. S2E9 - Necessary Evil: 3 - The Lesser Evil

    · 18 min · S2 E9

    In which Sibella shows school spirit. Season 3 of ANA is now crowdfunding: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/absolutely-no-adventures-season-3/x/23915260#/ Support us on Patreon or Kofi! Queen Sibella is Blythe…

  30. S2E10 - Necessary Evil: 4 - The Greater Good

    · 23 min · S2 E10

    In which Sibella has a change of heart. Season 3 of ANA is now crowdfunding: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/absolutely-no-adventures-season-3/x/23915260#/ Support us on Patreon or Kofi! Queen Sibella is Blythe…

  31. S2E11 - SPECIAL Mazed and Confused

    · 40 min · S2 E11

    In which Sig has a family reunion. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Luxe is Nina Nikolic. Dolph is Chase Noseworthy. The Maze Guardian is Edward Stokes. Produced and edited by Brad…

  32. Presenting: My First Dungeon - Sweet Revenge

    · 1 h 53 min · Bonus

    This week's feed drop features friend of the show: My First Dungeon! Perils & Princesses | Ep. 1 - The Dark & Scary Places Four Princesses rush to the aid of a friend, but things seem darker than ever before… This…

  33. Pre-Season 3 Announcement

    · 1:00 · Bonus

    Season 3 premieres October 14th, 2026! Join our Patreon: https://patreon.com/ANAPod Support us on Kofi: https://ko-fi.com/anapodhttps://ko-fi.com/anapod Explore Many Sided Media: https://www.manysidedmedia.com/

  34. Presenting: Sidequesting

    · 0:35 · Bonus

    This week's feed drop features friend of the show: Sidequesting! Crowdfunding Link: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/sidequesting/sidequesting-season-4 For more information, check out https://sidequestingpod.com/…

  35. Presenting: Welcome to the Brass Eagle

    · 1 h 03 min · Bonus

    This week's feed drop features friend of the show: Welcome to the Brass Eagle! Welcome to the Brass Eagle is a ten episode fantasy fiction audio drama about a teleporting tavern. Episode 2 is out now on the Brass…

  36. S3E1 - 3.1 Back in Business

    · 14 min · S3 E1

    In which Sig is offered a quest. Sig is Wes Haas. Happy is Karsten Otto. Bea is Sarah Ruth Thomas. Oliver is Andrew Oakes. Sound design by Brad Colbroock. Theme music by Laurence Owen. Transcript:…

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