Podcasts · TV & Film

The Reactionaries: An Action Movie Podcast

Reactionaries Podcast

88 episodes · Explicit

In a world, where far too many action movies exist... Two friends get fast, furious, to the bottom of things, while dissecting action movies... that they've never seen before! Every week Joe and Jeff enter a new action-packed world to bring you their thoughts and reactions. We watch action movies, so you don't have to.

Episodes page 1 of 2

  1. Episode 67: Street Fighter (1994)

    · 2 h 00 min · Episode 88 · Explicit

    The boys are back with an episode recorded in person! They take a look at Street Fighter (1994) and ask themselves questions about destiny, megalomaniacal dictators, the amount of cocaine done by JCVD and, of course,…

  2. Episode 66: Double Dragon (1994) (Nintendecember)

    · 2 h 03 min · Episode 87 · Explicit

    The boys are back in town, with Robert Patrick, Alyssa Milano, Alyssa Milano's ex-boyfriend and the Chairman from Iron Chef: America! Nintendecember rolls on with Double Dragon, one of the few movies we do that the…

  3. Episode 65: BloodRayne (2005) (Nintendecember)

    · 1 h 53 min · Episode 86 · Explicit

    The Boys return with their end-of-year run through bad video game movies. This week they take on Uwe Boll's 2005 uh... masterpiece(?)... BloodRayne. In this flick, Rayne is a half-vampire who needs to break out of the…

  4. Episode 64: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997) (Nintendovember)

    · 1 h 57 min · Episode 85 · Explicit

    Jeff and Joe kontemplate the ikonik 1997 klassic, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. This is the story of a group of aktors who did not want to rekreate their roles as Earth's Greatest Fighters, and instead did much kleverer…

  5. Episode 61: Thir13en Ghosts (2001)(Brawloween)

    · 2 h 07 min · Episode 84 · Explicit

    The Boys are back after one of us tried to become a spooky scary ghost and get sick. So, no Slender Man this month, only Thir-thirteen-en Ghosts! This is a "remake" of a movie from 1960, but all they took were the…

  6. Episode 60: L.A.P.D.: To Protect and to Serve (2001)

    · 2 h 14 min · Episode 83 · Explicit

    Joe and Jeff take a reprieve from blockbusters by getting into the podcast's bread and butter: low-budget schlock that snookered big-name actors into a paycheck. L.A.P.D.: To Protect and to Serve never lives up to its…

  7. Episode 59: Independence Day: Resurgence (2016) (Summer of Blockbusters FINALE)

    · 2 h 16 min · Episode 82 · Explicit

    Do you like the hit 1996 blockbuster Independence Day? Well, go watch that one, instead! Independence Day: Resurgence is too long, with too many characters (including a barely-there cameo from the first movie), with…

  8. Episode 58: Jaws 3-D (1983) (Summer of Blockbusters)

    · 1 h 44 min · Episode 81 · Explicit

    This week's movie is Jaws 3-D (1983)! Per IMDb: "A giant thirty-five-foot shark becomes trapped in a SeaWorld theme park and it's up to the sons of police chief Brody to rescue everyone." This flick stars an incredibly…

  9. Episode 57: Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) (Summer of Blockbusters)

    · 2 h 31 min · Episode 80 · Explicit

    The guys are back watching some of the worst blockbusters ever created! This time they watch Speed 2: Cruise Control, a movie that nobody wanted to make, especially Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. In this one they…

  10. Episode 56: Murder in the Orient (1975) (Marchini Madness... in August!)

    · 1 h 28 min · Episode 79 · Explicit

    The boys take a quick detour from The Summer of Blockbusters to talk about an old friend... Ron Marchini is back! This time, he has the Eric Bana Hulk to the Ed Norton Hulk. We disavow all connections from Murder in…

  11. Episode 55: Con Air (1997) (Summer of Blockbusters)

    · 2 h 25 min · Episode 78 · Explicit

    The Boys return with another late-90s summer blockbuster... Con Air! This movie stars Nicolas Cage, John Malkovich, Colm Meaney, Ving Rhames, Steve Buscemi, and also, John Cusack is there, I guess? The guys discuss if…

  12. Episode 54: Broken Arrow (1996) (Summer of Blockbusters)

    · 2 h 00 min · Episode 77 · Explicit

    The boys continue the Summer of Blockbusters with the only movie filled entirely with the stupidest people on earth... Broken Arrow! Broken Arrow is a coming-of-age dramedy that involves two old friends passing the…

  13. Episode 53: Face/Off (1997) (John Woo-ne/Summer of Blockbusters)

    · 2 h 55 min · Episode 76 · Explicit

    Joe and Jeff return with this week’s absolutely amazing flick: Face/Off! In this movie, they take Nicolas Cage’s face… off, and put it on John Travolta. Then they face off, see it has layers! The boys explore 3D…

  14. Episode 52: Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf (2015)

    · 2 h 25 min · Episode 75 · Explicit

    The boys are back after some scheduling snafus, with a big announcement... We are going bi-weekly. It turns out a podcast about stupid movies is easier to do during a worldwide pandemic than outside of it! We send off…

  15. Episode 51: Ape vs. Monster (2021) (Monsters vs. May)

    · 2 h 38 min · Episode 74 · Explicit

    Joe and Jeff return from an impromptu hiatus because Joe's house was hit by a glitch (it was organic, not reptilian). We take on Ape vs. Monster, a movie that Jeff ended up watching three times because it made such…

  16. Episode 50: King Kong vs. Godzilla (1963) (Monsters vs. May)

    · 2 h 22 min · Episode 73 · Explicit

    Monsters vs. May rolls on with the O.G. Godzilla vs. Kong! This 1963 flick is a re-edit of a 1962 *comedic* King Kong and Godzilla movie in Japan, that America turned into a more serious adventure. The boys discuss…

  17. Episode 49: Godzilla vs. Kong (2021) (Ape-Ril/Monsters vs. May)

    · 2 h 17 min · Episode 72 · Explicit

    The boys return from an impromptu week off due to seasickness (Joe was knocked out and tied to a boat headed toward Antarctica) to review Godzilla vs. Kong, a movie that literally delivered on everything it promised,…

  18. Episode 48:Son of Kong (1933) (Ape-Ril)

    · 1 h 53 min · Episode 71 · Explicit

    Son of Kong is the 1933 sequel to the 1933 hit King Kong! All your old friends are back (I think!). This is an action-adventure movie promising a little version of King Kong, which forgets all three of those components…

  19. Episode 47: Planet of the Apes (2001) (Ape-Ril)

    · 2 h 58 min · Episode 70 · Explicit

    The boys kick off Ape-Ril with the Paul Giamatti, Tim Roth and Helena Bonham Carter psychological thriller/slapstick comedy: Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes. In this film, Mark Wahlberg gets sent forward in time to a…

  20. Episode 46: Karate Raider AKA Jungle Wolf III: Karate Commando (1995)

    · 1 h 51 min · Episode 69 · Explicit

    We told you all we were done with Ron Marchini in March, but like Jesus, He has risen. It felt a little out of place to not finish the Ron Marchini Cinematic Universe, with 1995's Karate Commando. Or is it Karate…

  21. Episode 45: Jungle Wolf II - Return Fire (1988) (Marchini Madness)

    · 2 h 31 min · Episode 68 · Explicit

    The Steve Parrish Saga comes to its inevitable conclusion with Forgotten Warrior - US Warrior III: Jungle Wolf II: Return Fire! This twee indie coming of age movie focuses on Steve Parrish’s (Ron Marchini) son, Zak. He…

  22. Episode 44: Jungle Wolf (1986) (Marchini Madness)

    · 1 h 52 min · Episode 67 · Explicit

    Ron Marchini returns for the second part of the Steve Parrish Cinematic Universe. It has everything you love from The Forgotten Warrior, including about 10 minutes of The Forgotten Warrior! We reckon with the problem…

  23. Episode 43: The Forgotten Warrior - US Warrior (1986) (Marchini Madness)

    · 1 h 12 min · Episode 66 · Explicit

    Joe and Jeff take on the most boring movie they've done yet, to predictably short podcast results. This film feels like a low-grade fever when you're done with it. Confusing, a little disorienting, and tiring. Ron…

  24. Episode 42: Ninja Warriors (1985) (Marchini Madness)

    · 1 h 58 min · Episode 65 · Explicit

    Marchini Madness kicks off with 1985's Ninja Warriors! Do you know literally anything about ninjas? Because if so, you could be an expert to this team of dumb dumbs. Ken Watanabe (no not the Ken Watanabe) stars with…

  25. Episode 41: Run Hide Fight (2021)

    · 2 h 09 min · Episode 64 · Explicit

    Do you like vague anger at liberals? Do you like snarky asides about trigger warnings and hand sanitizer? Do you love a good guy with a gun? Well, do we have the movie for you! Run Hide Fight (2021) is Ben Shapiro's…

  26. Episode 40: Dead Heat (1988)

    · 2 h 02 min · Episode 63 · Explicit

    It's not every day that a movie pairs a literal brain dead cop (Treat Williams) with a figurative brain dead cop (Joe Piscopo). We're watching Dead Heat (1988)! In this horror-action movie, the dad from A Christmas…

  27. Episode 39: Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance (2015)

    · 3 h 17 min · Episode 62 · Explicit

    What can we say about Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance? It stars several porn stars, guys who literally bought their way onto the set, a lost Estevez/Sheen and Tommy Wiseau... and none of them are the worst actors in…

  28. Episode 38: Bleeding Steel (2017) (Jackie Chanuary)

    · 2 h 33 min · Episode 61 · Explicit

    The guys finish Jackie Chanuary with a trip into February and Jackie Chan’s insane money laundering adventure Bleeding Steel (2017). Do you like Star Trek? The MCU? Star Wars? Tron? Underworld? Assassin’s Creed?…

  29. Episode 37: The Medallion (2003) (Jackie Chanuary)

    · 2 h 03 min · Episode 60 · Explicit

    The boys continue their run around the Jackie Chan universe with their first English offering. Well... sorta. There was stuff that was originally in Chinese, but it was clunkily ADRed. It's 2003's The Medallion!…

  30. Episode 36: Heart of the Dragon (1985) (Jackie Chanuary)

    · 1 h 59 min · Episode 59 · Explicit

    Jackie Chanuary continues with 1985's Heart of Dragon. In this film, Jackie Chan learns the power of love and family, as well as the limitations of his brother's mental capacity. We discuss consent, abuse, and how the…

  31. Episode 35: Fantasy Misson Force (1983) (Jackie Chanuary)

    · 2 h 01 min · Episode 58 · Explicit

    When we say Fantasy Mission Force (1983) has everything, we mean everything. Indiana Jones, Planet of the Apes, Halloween 2, ghosts, mahjongg, bazookas, Nazis, Mad Max, cirque du soleil, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The…

  32. Episode 34: Samurai Cop (1991) (Deathcember... in January)

    · 2 h 28 min · Episode 57 · Explicit

    Jeff and Joe get into the last belated episode of Deathcember with 1991's Samurai Cop, starring Matthew Karedas and Robert Z'Dar. In Samurai Cop, Joe Marshall (the titular cop who is a samurai) is brought in to help…

  33. Episode 33: Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002) (Deathcember)

    · 2 h 36 min · Episode 56 · Explicit

    Jeff and Joe give you a bit of Christmas Eve cheer thanks to some immense screwups by FedEx! In this episode, they take a look at a truly baffling movie. Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever was, by most accounts, written by one…

  34. Episode 32: Reindeer Games (2000) (Deathcember)

    · 2 h 27 min · Episode 55 · Explicit

    The boys get back to their roots: preening d-bags emoting improperly at each other. That's right, it's time for Ben Affleck to make his Reactionaries debut. In this episode, we join some Reindeer Games (2002). Joe…

  35. Episode 31: Santa With Muscles (1996) (Deathcember)

    · 2 h 54 min · Episode 54 · Explicit

    The boys take a break from the high-flying world of Chuck Norris dealing with Nazis to deal with Hulk Hogan as Santa... With Muscles! Yes, it's a family movie. No, we don't care. We discuss what you do when Santamania…

  36. Episode 30: The Cutter (2005) (Norrisvember)

    · 2 h 19 min · Episode 53 · Explicit

    When you think of international espionage, a high-priced ancient diamond ring, and the Third Reich, you of course think... Spokane, Washington. The boys send out Norrisvember with style, and the movie that caused Chuck…

  37. Episode 29: Hero & The Terror (1988) (Norrisvember)

    · 2 h 09 min · Episode 52 · Explicit

    The boys continue Norrisvember with Hero & The Terror, a trip to a world of intrigue and mystery. In Hero & The Terror, Chuck Norris plays a cop who is tasked with tracking down an escaped killer, who he previously…

  38. Episode 28: A Force of One (1979) (Norrisvember)

    · 2 h 03 min · Episode 51 · Explicit

    The boys take a trip to the mean streets of Santa Madre, CA, home of the worst police force in the entire universe. They laugh, they cry, they drop nuggets about Air Force One, and Jeff tells Joe His One Story! A Force…

  39. Episode 27: Breaker! Breaker! (1977) (Norrisvember)

    · 2 h 21 min · Episode 50 · Explicit

    The boys kick off Norrisvember with a movie about family, soul-stealing, finances, and maybe marijuana? This week's movie is 1977's Breaker! Breaker! which could honestly have been in Brawloween with some different…

  40. Episode 26: Jason X (2002) (Brawloween)

    · 2 h 14 min · Episode 49 · Explicit

    The boys wave a fond farewell to Brawloween with a series that has seen better days... Jason X! Jason goes to space! Where all great franchises eventually end up! They discuss Jason's real voice, why a character exists…

  41. Episode 25: Hellbound (1994) (Brawloween)

    · 1 h 45 min · Episode 48 · Explicit

    Brawloween marches on with the Chuck Norris religious action monster classic(?) Hellbound. Shot entirely in Israel (even Chicago), the movie evokes all the things you love from Star Wars (yellow text!) and basketball…

  42. Episode 24: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) (Brawloween)

    · 2 h 10 min · Episode 47 · Explicit

    This is the greatest and best horror movie in the world... Tribute. The guys take a look back at the not-so-classic Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and Jeff reveals a horrible secret about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre…

  43. Episode 23: Against the Dark (2009) (Brawloween)

    · 2 h 52 min · Episode 46 · Explicit

    The boys kick off Brawloween (the spookiest of all action movie months) with the Steven Seagal vampire/zombie/meth-head action flick, Against the Dark. If each zombie movie trope creates a beautiful piece of the…

  44. Episode 23 Preaction: Against the Dark (2009) (Brawloween)

    · 28 min · Episode 45 · Explicit

    Joe and Jeff take a quick look (and we mean quick) at the trailer for Against the Dark. It's 75% shots of zombies and Steven Seagal slicing at things, so there's not much to go over here. This is the first movie of…

  45. Episode 22: Beyond the Law (2019) (Seagal September)

    · 2 h 27 min · Episode 44 · Explicit

    Seagal September comes to a merciful close with Beyond the Law, a movie featuring Seagal, Johnny Messner, Zack Ward, Patrick Kilpatrick and, of course, DMX! In this movie, Steven Seagal is a former/current mob boss…

  46. Episode 22 Preaction: Beyond the Law (2019) (Seagal September)

    · 31 min · Episode 43 · Explicit

    Seagal September comes to a close with 2019's Beyond the Law, starring DMX, Johnny Messner and, of course, Steven Seagal. In this one, the boys imagine conversations between Steven Seagal and Donald Trump (the most…

  47. Episode 21: Flight of Fury (2007) (Seagal September)

    · 2 h 14 min · Episode 42 · Explicit

    Flight of Fury is Steven Seagal's masterpiece. That's right, he wrote it. And lemme tell ya, you can definitely tell that Steven Seagal wrote this. Constants like directions, time, speed... all a matter of debate. In…

  48. Episode 21 Preaction: Flight of Fury (2007) (Seagal September)

    · 21 min · Episode 41 · Explicit

    There is only one trailer for this movie and a full 22% of it is the green screen that shows before the trailer and a picture of the DVD with a flag waving in the background, so enjoy the episode! We are back with the…

  49. Episode 20: Ticker (2001) (Seagal September)

    · 2 h 25 min · Episode 40 · Explicit

    Steven Seagal is back, and this time he's brought Nas, Chilli, Tom Sizemore, Jamie Pressley and Dennis Hopper! With a lineup like that, this movie can't be a bomb, right? Er, sorry... device. I'll try to be more zen.…

  50. Episode 20 Preaction: Ticker (2001) (Seagal September)

    · 37 min · Episode 39 · Explicit

    Seagal September continues as the boys check out the most frenetically-edited trailer in the history of cinema. This bad boy averages 1.5 edits per second, and it feels faster than that, somehow. Steven Seagal and Tom…

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