Podcasts · The Divorce Course Podcast

Coercive Control and Your Kids: How to Protect Your Children From a Coercively Controlling Co-Parent

21 Jul 2026 · 1 h 20 min · Episode 326

🎧 Listen to this episode if…

- You've left a coercively controlling relationship and your biggest fear is what it will do to your kids

- You're wondering why your children can't see the abuse, or seem to side with the controlling parent

- Your ex uses the kids as messengers or feeds them misinformation

- You're worried about being accused of "parental alienation" for parenting differently

- You're navigating parenting plans, orders or supervised time with a high-conflict ex

⚠️ This podcast is general information only not legal advice. Australian family law discussed. Always consult a qualified family lawyer.

🛟 This episode discusses coercive control and family violence. In danger? Call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14.

In Part 4 of our Coercive Control Series, Laura and Lyn are joined by clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova to answer your questions about coercive control, children and co-parenting. Plus the legal side – affidavits, family reports, Section 61DAB, loophole-proof orders, whether the court listens to a 14-year-old, and why supervised time working isn't a reason to rush to unsupervised.

⏱️ CHAPTERS

00:00 – Coercive Control and Kids: Every Parent's Biggest Fear

02:00 – How Coercive Control Affects Children (Including Adult Children)

04:00 – Research: Coercive Control Harms Kids Like Physical Violence

08:00 – Why Children Can't See the Abuse: The Loyalty Bind

10:00 – Does the Family Court Recognise the Impact on Children?

11:00 – The Problem With Family Reports

13:00 – Naming Coercive Control in Your Affidavit

14:00 – When Kids Are Used as Messengers

15:00 – Why Protective Parenting Is Double Duty

18:00 – Dr Emma Katz: Build the Opposite of the Coercive Regime

21:00 – Teaching Kids Emotion Regulation and Assertiveness

24:00 – Why Normal Co-Parenting Advice Doesn't Apply Here

26:00 – Making Your Home Non-Porous

27:00 – Alienation Accusations vs Parenting Differently

29:00 – Bombarding Messages: Why You Can Ignore Them

31:00 – Section 61DAB: Your Day-to-Day Parenting Decisions

32:00 – Manipulation and Misinformation: Correcting the Record

37:00 – The "Adult Matters" Myth in Family Court

38:00 – When Kids Side With the Controlling Parent

43:00 – How to Tell the Kids You're Divorcing

48:00 – Best Books to Help Children Through Coercive Control

52:00 – Krasi's Message to Every Protective Parent

55:00 – Helping Kids Heal When They Won't Open Up

60:00 – Parenting Plans With a Narcissistic Ex: 50/50 Traps

62:00 – Loophole-Proof Orders: Why "As Agreed" Needs a Default

65:00 – Will the Court Listen to a 14-Year-Old?

67:00 – Parental Alienation: What the UN Report Says

69:00 – The Gillick Test: Teens Accessing Psychological Support

70:00 – Sudden 50/50 Demands and Recording Phone Calls

72:00 – Supervised Time: Why Good Behaviour Isn't Evidence

🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED

Part 1 – Coercive Control vs a Bad Relationship: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Blmekx03XEJIzshzS3glJ

Part 2 – Coercive Control While Separated Under One Roof https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1503451022?i=1000775886114

Part 3 – Financial Abuse and Coercive Control: When Money Becomes the Weapon https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1503451022?i=1000776879697

The Parenting Order Loopholes Your Ex Will Exploit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBZYy44FhPY

Can Kids Decide Where They Live? How Children's Wishes Count https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1503451022?i=1000771958744

🔗 RESOURCES

Krasi Kirova, Clinical Psychologist – https://kirovapsychology.com.au

Krasi's feedback form for survivors – https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2

Books: The Big Bag of Worries | Every Moment of Every Day (Christine Cuccio) | The Sky Is Red and My Boundary Balloons (Tyra Schwartz) | I Can (Natasha Harris)

Family Law Act 1975 – s60CC and s61DAB

🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au

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