Podcasts · The Divorce Course Podcast
The 7 Phases of Divorcing a Narcissist (What No One Warns You About)
· 36 min · Episode 228
Episode The 7 Phases of Divorcing a Narcissist (What No One Warns You About)
🎧 Listen to this episode if…
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You're separating or divorcing someone with narcissistic traits
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Your ex keeps changing tactics and you feel like you're always one step behind
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You've experienced love-bombing, guilt, threats, or emotional manipulation
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Your ex is running smear campaigns or trying to control the narrative
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Money, disclosure, or property settlement keeps getting delayed
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Your children are being pulled into adult conflict
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Your ex is using the legal system as a weapon
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You feel like the abuse didn't end after separation
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You want to know what's coming next before it happens
📌 Legal Disclaimer
This episode is for education only and not legal or psychological advice. Please seek your own independent legal support based on your circumstances.
📝 Episode Summary
Divorcing a narcissist isn't just difficult it's predictable. In this episode, Mum and I walk you through the seven phases most people experience when separating from someone with narcissistic traits, based on what we see every single day in real cases.
We talk about how tactics have evolved, why the mask eventually drops, and how emotional manipulation turns into smear campaigns, financial control, legal abuse, and ongoing chaos even after court ends.
We're not diagnosing anyone, and this isn't about labelling. It's about pattern recognition. Once you understand the phases, you can stop blaming yourself, protect your boundaries, and make informed decisions instead of reacting in survival mode.
📌 This episode contains discussions around family violence. Support numbers are listed below.
⏱️ Episode Timeline
00:00 Divorcing a Narcissist – What to Expect & Why It's Different
01:50 Narcissistic Traits in Divorce and Separation
02:34 Phase One: Love Bombing, Guilt Tripping & Emotional Manipulation
03:50 How Narcissists Use Legal Delays and Manipulation
07:51 Phase Two: Control Tactics, Hoovering & Threats
11:57 Setting Boundaries When Divorcing a Narcissist
14:22 Phase Three: Smear Campaigns & Image Management Tactics
16:16 How to Protect Yourself Before Things Escalate
18:23 The Financial Motives Behind 50/50 Parenting Claims
18:36 Unethical Family Court Reports & Image Control
19:54 Social Media Smear Campaigns and Reputation Control
22:18 Financial Abuse Through Control and Delay Tactics
26:18 Using Children as Pawns in High-Conflict Divorce
28:47 Manipulating the Legal System After Separation
30:48 Post-Separation Abuse: Chaos and Control After Court
32:42 Final Support, Safety Planning & What to Do Next
🔗 Links & Resources
Support Services (Australia)
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1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14
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Episodes Mentioned
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The Narcissist Playbook
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10 Boundaries You Must Set in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ecDTxw4rTc3zXBkcjuYpA?si=0tfzIRFrTuWSfrywenG4lA
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What About Their Belongings? https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bPd3wWLQh3pzQmL2KCR0v?si=ABBaDvMVRgqnkvfXHJh66A
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Protecting Your Role as Primary Carer https://open.spotify.com/episode/6oZAEkj18NEcUfJPXP0FOT?si=PR8-zKyXRru7oVeW2Allew
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Legal & Financial Abuse After Separation
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1V23F0O5yhQt9NFLPOu6uJ?si=ZkP-KquxREeTCyQPk8I-TA What If Your Ex Lies in Court?
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https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SdkXhj3vC2tfO3gDdkM6y?si=sQjxVlNSTm2wnaHQdWxdlA
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Safety Planning After Separation
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https://open.spotify.com/episode/5hMmTS99LaeUWOXSxKMx1D?si=Y98mBgDoTiK1LQud-tr9BQ
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DARVO in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0JyfH5fCoqrUoxeDj6jCtu?si=mDoKfN3fQWONekpLUQflXg
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False allegations of Parental Alienation https://open.spotify.com/episode/0l9L5SDovV515EU4H5gpIf?si=5z2-pibvRKavyrPkMeuMIw
Resources
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"Before You Go" Checklist – thedivorcecourse.com.au
🚨 Support Services (Australia)
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1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732
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Lifeline – 13 11 14
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RSPCA Safe Beds for Pets (state dependent)
📌 Legal Disclaimer
This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal…
Links in the notes 5
- https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ecDTxw4rTc3zXBkcjuYpA?si=0tfzIRFrTuWSfrywenG4lA
- https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SdkXhj3vC2tfO3gDdkM6y?si=sQjxVlNSTm2wnaHQdWxdlA
- https://open.spotify.com/episode/5hMmTS99LaeUWOXSxKMx1D?si=Y98mBgDoTiK1LQud-tr9BQ
- https://open.spotify.com/episode/0JyfH5fCoqrUoxeDj6jCtu?si=mDoKfN3fQWONekpLUQflXg
- https://open.spotify.com/episode/0l9L5SDovV515EU4H5gpIf?si=5z2-pibvRKavyrPkMeuMIw
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