Podcasts · Kids & Family · Society & Culture

More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids, Unlearning Fear, Becoming More Human

Heather Hester | Advocate for Parents of LGBTQ Teens

300 episodes

"Mom, I think I might be_____."

More about the show

Whether that sentence ended in gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, or something they're still figuring out — you are in the right place.

Maybe you're scared. Maybe you're grieving something you can't quite name yet. Maybe you're desperate to get this right and terrified that you've already gotten it wrong. This show is for you, exactly where you are right now.

More Human. More Kind. is hosted by Heather Hester, author of Parenting with Pride and a fierce advocate for LGBTQ kids, their parents, and the people who love them. Each week Heather brings lived experience, practical guidance, and the kind of honest conversation that helps you move from fear and confusion to grounded, loving action.

Whether you're a parent in the early days of your child coming out, an ally deepening your understanding, or someone unlearning old beliefs to show up better for the people you love, this is your place.

Every episode gives you something real: tools for navigating the hard moments, having difficult conversations, guidance on loving boundaries, and the steady reminder that you don't have to figure this out alone.

New episodes every Tuesday and Friday. Start with fan-favorite Episode 3: Embrace the Messiness of Supporting Your LGBTQ Teen, an honest conversation that will help you exhale, reflect, and show up more fully for the people you love.

Three-time Women in Podcasting Award winner for Best LGBTQ+ Podcast, 2024 through 2026. Top 1.5% of podcasts globally.

Episodes page 1 of 6

  1. Activism Fatigue: Five Ways Parents of LGBTQ Kids Can Rest and Keep Showing Up

    · 11 min · S2 E328

    Is that bone-deep exhaustion you’re feeling activism fatigue, and what do you do about it a week before the election? If you’ve spent this month learning, donating, volunteering, and having hard conversations at your…

  2. "You Won’t Lose Your Phone for Telling Me" What to Say to Your LGBTQ Child About Online Hate

    · 7:42 · S2 E327

    What if one kind comment could do for your child what one cruel comment does against them? This is the butterfly effect episode for Tuesday’s episode on online hate. Heather turns that conversation into four small…

  3. Six Ways to Protect Your LGBTQ Teen From Online Hate Without Taking Their Phone

    · 16 min · S2 E325

    Give yourself the gift of empowerment What do you do when you can’t stop your LGBTQ child from seeing online hate, and you shouldn’t try? Online cruelty and dehumanization get louder in the weeks before an election,…

  4. America Belongs to You: Four Small Actions for Parents of LGBTQ Kids Before November

    · 10 min · S2 E324

    How do you stay hopeful and engaged when the news makes everything feel hopeless? What if the answer is smaller than you think? This is the butterfly effect episode for Tuesday’s episode on the load-bearing walls of…

  5. What's at Stake This Midterm Cycle? What Parents and Allies of LGBTQ Kids Need to Know

    · 22 min · S2 E323

    What does our democracy actually rest on, and which of those supports are being weakened right now? With less than a month to go before the midterms, Heather breaks down four load-bearing walls of American democracy,…

  6. What to Say When Your Kid Asks How You're Voting: Four Small Actions This Week

    · 8:33 · S2 E322

    What do you actually say when your kid asks how you're voting? This is the Friday companion to Tuesday's episode on political approval-seeking. Heather makes that thought experiment small enough to carry through the…

  7. Are Your Politics More Important Than Your Child? One Question to Ask Before You Vote

    · 15 min · S2 E321

    Find the right level of support for you! Is your vote reflecting your own values, or someone else's approval? This is the first episode in a month-long series leading up to the midterms. Heather shares the moment her…

  8. One Simple Action to Support Your LGBTQ Loved One Today

    · 5:55 · S2 E320

    What's one thing you can do today to support your LGBTQ loved one through coming out? This is the Friday Butterfly Effect episode for Tuesday's Coming Out Action Guide episode. Heather offers one word, one tiny…

  9. What to Actually Do at Every Stage of Coming Out: A Parent's Action Guide

    · 18 min · S2 E319

    Find guides, tools, resources, and more! You know the six stages your teen moves through when they come out, and the six stages you move through as their parent. But what do you actually do at each one? This episode…

  10. Presence, Not Fixing: Four Small Actions for Your LGBTQ Kid's Dating Life

    · 9:30 · S2 E318

    What do you actually say when your kid is hurting, and how do you know something's wrong before they tell you? This is the Friday follow-up to Tuesday's episode on queer dating and breakups. Heather offers four small…

  11. Your Queer Kid's Breakup Isn't Like Yours: What Parents Need to Know About Dating, Abuse, and Support

    · 24 min · S2 E317

    Do you know how to actually help your queer kid through a breakup, or are you using advice built for straight relationships? Both of Heather's daughters went through breakups within a month of each other this year,…

  12. Four Tiny Actions That Will Support Your Gay, Lesbian, or Bisexual Kid This Week

    · 8:43 · S2 E316

    What does your gay son, lesbian daughter, or bisexual kid actually need from you this week? This follows up on Tuesday's episode about the real differences between a son and daughter coming out. Heather offers four…

  13. Books Are Windows and Mirrors: Shari Becker on Writing Inclusive Kids' Books and Fighting Bans

    · 44 min · S2 E315

    SPECIAL EPISODE! What actually happens when a book gets banned, and who pays the price for it? Heather sits down with children's author and Whale Rock Workshops founder Sheri Becker to talk about why inclusive books…

  14. A Gay Son and a Lesbian Daughter Need Different Things From You: What Parents Get Wrong

    · 41 min · S2 E314

    "Gay is gay."Except it isn't. And if you're parenting both a son and a daughter through coming out, you may know that, but NOT know what to do. A gay son and a lesbian daughter face different stereotypes, different…

  15. Four Tiny Actions for Every Stage of Your Own Coming-Out Process

    · 6:41 · S2 E313

    Do you ever feel overwhelmed by all of the information coming at you? This week's Butterfly Effect gives you four tiny actions across four different points in your own process, from repairing a moment you regret to…

  16. The Six Stages Every Parent Goes Through When Their Kid Comes Out

    · 25 min · S2 E312

    Your teen isn't the only one going through a coming out process. You are too, and most parents skip past their own. From shock to true acceptance, there are six distinct stages parents move through after a child comes…

  17. You Don't Need the Right Words: Coming Out Support in Four Small Moves

    · 7:21 · S2 E311

    Tuesday's six stages aren't just something to understand — they're something to practice. This week's Butterfly Effect gives you one small action for four different moments in your teen's coming out process, from…

  18. Understanding Your Teen's Coming Out Process: Vital Support Info for Parents

    · 27 min · S2 E310

    Looking for support but not quite sure what type? We've got you covered! Did you know that your teen may be going through the hardest, most private season of their life right now and showing you almost none of it?…

  19. A Reset for Parents of LGBTQ Kids Who Are Ready for the Quieter Work of Unlearning

    · 5:59 · S2 E309

    The unlearning doesn't stop. It just gets quieter, and quieter isn't the same as finished. This Butterfly Effect episode picks up Tuesday's quarterly check-in with one small practice: catching the reflex to label…

  20. Unlearning Doesn't End It Just Gets Quieter: What Parents of LGBTQ Kids Need to Know

    · 8:45 · S2 E308

    Let's connect on Substack! Love is proven by what you're willing to unlearn. This is a check-in on that, for you and for me. Year-one unlearning is loud: fear, shame, and often a full religious deconstruction, and…

  21. The Unperformed Version of You: For Parents of LGBTQ Kids Who Are Tired of Saying I'm Fine

    · 6:14 · S2 E307

    Have you ever felt like the more put together you are on the outside, the more chaotic you feel on the inside? This Butterfly Effect episode carries Tuesday's conversation about performance and honesty into one small,…

  22. What More Human Actually Means: Being Less Performed Changes Everything When Parenting LGBTQ Kids

    · 11 min · S2 E306

    Continue being more human on Substack! What does being “more human” mean to you? This episode is a personal one, tracing how performing "fine" for most of my life, learned as a survival mechanism, gave way to…

  23. Stop Apologizing for Being a Mama Bear: A Reset for Parents of LGBTQ Kids Heading Into the School Year

    · 7:00 · S2 E305

    Do you think of a threshold as a potential stumbling block or the place you stand before walking into something new or unknown? This Butterfly Effect episode builds on Tuesday's conversation about the five…

  24. Five Back to School Thresholds Every Parent of an LGBTQ Kid Faces

    · 10 min · S2 E304

    Grab the Panic to Plan Guide Join me on Substack Every August, before a single backpack gets packed, there's a threshold parents like us cross. Not the kids. Us. Interest: For parents of lgbtq teens, or kids who are…

  25. The One Question Every Parent of an LGBTQ Emerging Adult Needs to Ask Before Offering Advice

    · 6:06 · S2 E303

    The goal was never to be needed forever. The goal was kids who still choose to confide in you even after they don't have to. This Butterfly Effect episode picks up right where Tuesday's conversation on parenting a…

  26. What Changes When Your LGBTQ Teen Becomes an Adult and Why the Letting Go Is Hard

    · 16 min · S2 E302

    Join me on Substack There's a day every parent of a queer kid hits, and nobody warns you it's coming: the day you realize you don't get a vote anymore. Parenting guidance for a queer teen looks nothing like parenting…

  27. The Threshold You Already Crossed This Summer: For Parents of LGBTQ Kids Heading Into August

    · 6:12 · S2 E301

    Share The Panic to Plan Guide with someone! The courage becomes an orientation. But first you have to cross the threshold. This is your final Friday reset of the summer, and it is a good one. On Tuesday we talked…

  28. When Advocacy Gets Hard: How Parents of LGBTQ Kids Can Show Up Boldly and Find the Joy

    · 16 min · S2 E300

    Advocacy is serious. The stakes are real. And some days the weight of it is genuinely hard to carry. But what if showing up boldly for your LGBTQ+ kid could also hold something else? What if it could also be joyful?…

  29. What Comparison Cannot Touch: A Friday Reset for Parents of LGBTQ Kids

    · 6:51 · S2 E299

    Grab your Panic to Plan Guide here! Comparison does not know you. And it does not know your kid, your journey, or the specific kind of love you are doing. This week's reset is about returning to what cannot be…

  30. The Comparison Trap That Hits Parents of LGBTQ Kids Differently and How to Find Your Way Out

    · 14 min · S2 E298

    Get the Panic to Plan Guide here There is a particular kind of pain that does not announce itself loudly. You see another parent who seems to have it figured out, who has been advocating longer, speaking more…

  31. Travel Prep as Love: A Friday Reset for Parents of LGBTQ Kids

    · 5:44 · S2 E297

    The research, the conversations, the paperwork, the permission you give your kid before you ever leave home. That is not just preparation. That is love made practical. On Tuesday we talked about what it actually takes…

  32. Traveling With Your LGBTQ Kid: What Every Parent Needs to Know Before You Leave

    · 14 min · S2 E296

    Summer travel should feel like joy. But if you have an LGBTQ+ kid, you already know there is a layer of preparation most families never have to think about. This episode is for you. The world is not equally safe for…

  33. Genuine Joy Is Countercultural: A Friday Reset for Parents of LGBTQ Kids

    · 5:27 · S2 E295

    Real joy doesn't come from a feed. This week's reset will help you find it, feel it, and help your kid do the same. In Tuesday's episode, we explored what queer creators are teaching our kids about authentic joy and…

  34. What Queer Creators Teach Your LGBTQ Teen About Authentic Joy

    · 12 min · S2 E294

    Your kid has a feed full of people they've never met, and some of those people are quietly teaching them what joy looks and feels like. Do you know what they're learning? For LGBTQ teens especially, finding creators…

  35. You Can Love Fiercely and Still Be Running on Empty: A Reset for Exhausted Parents of LGBTQ Kids

    · 5:19 · S2 E293

    You don't need a complete overhaul to start recovering from ally burnout. You need one small, doable thing. Interest: This week's quick follow-up to our episode on ally burnout and compassion fatigue gives you…

  36. Bonus Episode: I'm Not Okay, and I Don't Think You Are Either

    · 10 min · S2 E292

    My Raw Reaction to This Week's SCOTUS Rulings A note before you press play. This isn't a normal episode. There's no outline, no structure, no neat takeaways. It's me, talking through what I'm feeling after two days…

  37. Up at 2AM Researching? What Ally Burnout Looks Like for Parents of LGBTQ Kids

    · 15 min · S2 E291

    Talk to other parents who are experiencing burnout, too. Learn more about the Kindred Collective. Loving your child through a hard season can quietly burn you out, and most allies never see it coming. When a child…

  38. PFLAG National on Creating Pride in Families: The New Resource Helping Parents Build Support Networks at Work

    · 36 min · S2 E290

    What if the support you've been looking for was one conversation away, right where you work? PFLAG National's Jamie Henkel joins the show to talk about Creating Pride in Families, a brand new resource library designed…

  39. I Don't Need to Define You to Love You: A Reset for LGBTQ Parents

    · 6:37 · S2 E289

    Check out in depth essays, meditations, and tips and strategies on the More Human More Kind Substack! Your kid changed how they describe themselves again, and some part of you is still waiting for the "real" answer.…

  40. Beyond the Binary: Why Fluid Doesn't Mean Unsure (Guidance for Parents of LGBTQ Kids)

    · 13 min · S2 E288

    Find connection with other parents in the Kindred Collective! Your kid said something different about who they are than they did six months ago, and some part of you panicked. For a lot of parents, fluidity feels…

  41. Does Your LGBTQ Child Actually FEEL Your Love? Guidance for Parents Who Want to Close the Gap

    · 9:00 · S2 E287

    Join me on Substack for deeper conversations (and extra tools and reflections for paid subscribers!) You already love your child deeply. But love that lives only inside you is invisible to the person who needs it…

  42. Love vs. Feeling Loved | Guidance for Parenting LGBTQ Teens

    · 16 min · S2 E286

    Be part of a private community filled with parents just like you! Learn more about the Kindred Collective. You love your LGBTQ+ child. But does your child actually feel that love? And if there's a gap between the two,…

  43. Quiet Allyship: Parenting Guidance for When Your Child Is ONLY Out to You

    · 12 min · S2 E285

    Learn more about the Kindred Collective - a private community for parents of LGBTQ kids Your LGBTQ teen trusted you before they trusted the world. But what happens when parent allyship has to stay quiet? When your…

  44. You Love Your LGBTQ Child, But Are You Being an Ally?

    · 11 min · S2 E284

    Be part of a community of parents just like you! As parents of LGBTQ teens, most of us want our children to feel loved, accepted, and supported. But what if there’s a difference between being a supportive parent and…

  45. When One Parent Is Ready and the Other Isn't: Guidance for Parents of LGBTQ Kids

    · 13 min · S2 E283

    Learn more about the Kindred Collective Community What happens when parents have different comfort levels, beliefs, or timelines around Pride and LGBTQ support? For many parents of LGBTQ teens, Pride season can bring…

  46. How to Prep for Pride with Your LGBTQ Kid: Checklists for Preteens, Teens, and Young Adults

    · 19 min · S2 E282

    Learn more about the Kindred Collective Community Are you wondering how to help your LGBTQ teen enjoy Pride safely without turning every conversation into a lecture? Pride events can be joyful, affirming, and…

  47. Helping LGBTQ Kids Stay Safe At Pride Events (Without Scaring Them!)

    · 14 min · S2 E281

    Learn more about the Kindred Collective Community How do you talk to your LGBTQ teen about staying safe at Pride events without making them afraid to attend? Many parents want their LGBTQ teens to experience the joy,…

  48. What Happens When You Stop Abandoning Yourself: For Parents of LGBTQ Teens

    · 10 min · S2 E280

    Join me on Substack for more tools to stay human in a complicated world. What if the exhaustion you feel has less to do with who you are and more to do with how long you’ve been pretending? In this Friday Reset: The…

  49. Before You Hang a Pride Flag, Ask Your LGBTQ Child This One Question First

    · 11 min · S2 E281

    Learn about The Kindred Collective Before you hang the Pride flag or post your support online, have you asked your LGBTQ teen what actually feels supportive to them? Many loving parents and allies want to celebrate…

  50. When an LGBTQ Child Gets No Support: Steph Vachon's Story of Survival and Reclamation

    · 37 min · S2 E279

    What happens when someone spends decades surviving instead of truly living? In this deeply moving conversation, Heather sits down with queer figure skater, advocate, father, and podcast host Stef Vachon to talk about…

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