Podcasts · Kids & Family · Education

Peace and Parenting: How to Parent without Punishments

Michelle Kenney, M. Ed

300 episodes

Are you sick of parenting with the ideas of yelling and shame and looking for something that feels better, is different, but still has a sense of boundaries and limits?

More about the show

Welcome to Peace and Parenting! Michelle is a former teacher, counselor, certified parenting coach, mom of two teens, recovering yeller, and perfectionist who parents without using punishments altogether. And guess what? It works! On this show, you’ll learn the how behind having kids who are entirely UNPUNISHED but who are also successful, kind, loving, and know how to follow directions.

Once a week, Michelle shares her insights and expertise on connective parenting through solo episodes and interviews with experts and other struggling parents. If you have exhausted all other options and don't know what to do next, this could be the parenting strategy you've been searching for.

Episodes page 1 of 6

  1. Could You Coach Other Parents?

    · 15 min · Episode 460

    A lot of parents come to this work to change their own homes, and then something quieter starts to grow. A pull. A sense that maybe this isn’t just for your family. That maybe you’re meant to help other parents find…

  2. The Balance Between Strict and Soft

    · 17 min · Episode 459

    Almost every parent I work with asks me the same question. How do I balance strictness with softness? How can I be firm without being harsh, and soft without being permissive? It feels like you can only be one or the…

  3. The Back-to-School Reset

    · 24 min · Episode 458

    Back to school time. We brace the kids for a new teacher, a new schedule, and earlier wake times. We purchase the backpack and walk them through it, and tell them they can do it. But no one gives the parent any…

  4. What Punishments Really Do

    · 20 min · Episode 457

    Most of us were programmed to do the same things when children misbehaved. The time-out. Taking something away. The consequence. Nobody in that chain was a villain; they were tools passed down by people who loved us.…

  5. Your Teen Isn’t Pulling Away From You

    · 28 min · Episode 456

    Somewhere around eleven, twelve, thirteen, something shifts. The kid who used to tell you everything starts giving you one-word answers. They stop looking for you and wanting to spend time with you. The door that used…

  6. Stop Saying "We Can't Afford It"

    · 16 min · Episode 455

    You're at the checkout, almost done, and your child grabs something and asks, "Can we get this?" And four words come out before you've even thought about them: "We can't afford it." It feels honest. Responsible, even.…

  7. Your Toddler Is Doing Better Than You Think

    · 27 min · Episode 454

    We've been handed a story about toddlers. They're testing you. They're manipulating you. They're trying to win. And if you comfort them too much, you'll raise a spoiled kid who runs the house. So the advice comes fast…

  8. There's No Such Thing as a Perfect Parent

    · 20 min · Episode 453

    When you lie awake at night, what do you replay? Not the hundred things you got right that day. Not the lunches, the drop-offs, the bedtime story you were too tired to read but read anyway. You replay the one moment…

  9. Kind and Firm: Hold a Boundary Without Losing Connection

    · 20 min · Episode 452

    We were told boundaries and connection sit on opposite ends of a dial. Slide toward strict and you get control but lose warmth. Slide toward gentle, and you get closeness but lose the floor. So we spend our days…

  10. Case Study: What If You're Already Enough?

    · 30 min · Episode 451

    Most of us carry a quiet belief that we have to be everything for our kids. If the other parent isn't showing up the way we wish they would, we tell ourselves it's on us to fill every gap. To be the nurturer and the…

  11. Your Kid Doesn't Need Two Houses That Agree, They Need One That's Safe

    · 24 min · Episode 450

    We've all been told the same thing. Kids need consistency above everything else. The same rules, the same bedtime, the same consequences in every home they live in. So when the other parent won't get on the same page,…

  12. Rewards Are Punishments in Disguise

    · 10 min · Episode 449

    For years, I thought I was doing everything right. I had left the yelling behind. I praised my girls constantly; I made star charts. I was a trained teacher and a school counselor, and I believed with my whole heart…

  13. Play Instead of Punishment

    · 19 min · Episode 448

    When your child is being hard, what is the first tool you reach for? A countdown. A consequence. A lecture. A raised voice. Almost every one of those is a version of the same instinct: when my child gets hard, I get…

  14. Your Neurodivergent Child Doesn’t Need a Different Parent

    · 21 min · Episode 447

    When Cammie's son began struggling with school, anxiety, and sensory challenges, she heard the same message so many parents hear: maybe he needed a different approach. But instead of abandoning connection, she leaned…

  15. Your Child is Not Disrespectful, They Are Dysregulated.

    · 25 min · Episode 446

    For years, I believed that when my daughters pushed back, they were being defiant. Then one afternoon at the American Girl store, my youngest daughter had a public meltdown that completely changed the way I understood…

  16. Breaking the Cycle: How to Parent Differently Than You Were Parented (with Coach Tim)

    · 18 min · Episode 445

    If you've ever caught yourself saying the very words you swore you'd never say to your child, you're not alone. I've been there too. In this episode, we’re sharing why breaking generational parenting patterns isn't a…

  17. The Quiet Child Nobody Worries About: What's Actually Going On

    · 19 min · Episode 444

    Most of us were raised to believe that a "good" child is a calm child, who does not push back, does not melt down, does not make the adults around them uncomfortable. We have spent generations praising children for the…

  18. The Hidden Cost of Emotionally Immature Parents (And How to Stop Passing It On)

    · 18 min · Episode 443

    Many of us grew up in homes where emotions were dismissed, mistakes were punished, and children learned to manage the feelings of the adults around them. As parents, we often recognize those patterns intellectually,…

  19. Why Calling Your Kid "Difficult" Changes Who They Become

    · 19 min · Episode 442

    Somewhere along the way, maybe out loud, maybe just in your own head, you started calling one of your children the difficult one. The intense one. The spirited one. The one with the issues. And you love them, of course…

  20. The Manipulation Myth: What's Really Happening When Your Kid Acts Out

    · 15 min · Episode 441

    I had been told the same story since I became a mom: “children are manipulative”, “They do that on purpose”. I believed it. I bargained and threatened, my daughter melted down harder, and the wall between us got…

  21. Why Your Child Listens to Everyone But You (And What to Do About It)

    · 12 min · Episode 440

    Why does my child listen to everyone but me? I remember being there myself. I was a teacher and counselor for thirteen years before I had kids, and I could not get my own oldest daughter to cooperate for five minutes.…

  22. What You're Doing to Keep Them Safe Is Making Them Fragile

    · 21 min · Episode 439

    The week before my oldest daughter left for college, I caught myself reorganizing her room, repacking her bags, sending her articles she didn't ask for. And I realized standing in her doorway one night, she was ready.…

  23. The Phone Problem Isn't Your Kid's, It's Yours

    · 22 min · Episode 438

    For years in my own house, my ex-husband and I were both deep tech people. From the moment we woke up until we went to bed, there was some kind of screen running. Phones at the dinner table while the kids played next…

  24. What Yelling Actually Does to Your Child (And How to Stop)

    · 27 min · Episode 437

    I was a yeller. Not a "lost it once or twice" yeller, a full-on, scream-in-my-two-year-old's-face yeller. I shamed my oldest daughter. I became her first bully, without meaning to and without wanting to. And I want to…

  25. Stop Playing Referee: How to End Sibling Fights Without Picking a Winner

    · 28 min · Episode 436

    My daughters fought constantly when they were little, and I tried everything. I separated them. I punished them. I lectured. I bribed. I yelled. Nothing worked, not really. It would stop for twenty minutes and we would…

  26. The 10-Minute Mom: Why Quality Beats Quantity Every Time

    · 19 min · Episode 435

    I have lost count of how many moms have told me they feel like they're failing because they don't have enough time. They're at work all day, running between activities, exhausted by 8pm, and convinced that if they…

  27. Empowering Children: Why Obedience Doesn't Keep Kids Safe

    · 19 min · Episode 434

    Most of us were raised to believe that an obedient child is a safe child. I believed it too, for a long time. But the truth is the opposite, and it took me years of parenting and coaching to really see it. A child who…

  28. You Can't Parent From Empty

    · 13 min · Episode 433

    I’m back, and I’m coming in honest. After losing my dad last year, I stepped away from the podcast, my work, and the pressure to keep performing as a parent. In this return episode, I reflect on what three months of…

  29. Why Your Child Misbehaves And What To Do

    · 24 min · Episode 432

    Your child isn't "being bad", they're trying to tell you something. In this episode, I break down the five real reasons children misbehave and why the punishments, time-outs, and consequences you've been relying on are…

  30. Remembering My Connected Parenting Partner and Grandfather, Papa

    · 11 min · S5 E431

    Today's episode comes with a heavy heart as I share a very personal update. My beloved father, Papa, recently passed away after a three-year battle with cancer. For those who knew him or followed my posts, you know he…

  31. Ditch the Punishments and Rewards and STILL Get Cooperation [Fan Favorite]

    · 13 min · S5 E430

    Do you ever feel like you're constantly battling your kids, trying to "make" them do what you want? Are you tired of using punishments or rewards, but unsure how else to get them to listen? If you're longing for a…

  32. Why Demanding Respect From Your Kids Isn’t Working [Fan Favorite]

    · 12 min · S5 E429

    What does real respect between parents and children truly look like? Have you ever wondered why your kids sometimes seem “disrespectful,” or whether expecting automatic respect is helping or hurting your relationship?…

  33. Case Study: The Secret to Connecting With Your Neurodivergent Child [Fan Favorite]

    · 20 min · S5 E428

    Have you been told that because your child is neurodivergent, they need different rules? That connection-based parenting works for neurotypical kids, but your child with autism or ADHD requires charts, rewards, and…

  34. You're Unknowingly Making Sibling Rivalry Worse [Fan Favorite]

    · 16 min · S5 E427

    Does it ever feel like you’re a referee in your own home? One child is hurt, crying with scratches down their arm, and the other is standing there, looking defiant. In that moment, every instinct tells you to protect…

  35. Case Study: What To Do When "Special Time" Backfires [Fan Favorite]

    · 30 min · S5 E426

    Do you feel like you’re doing everything “right”? You’ve started implementing special time and focusing on connection, yet it creates more chaos. The kids might have meltdowns when the timer goes off, or sibling…

  36. Why Connected Parenting is for Every Child

    · 10 min · S5 E425

    Are you sometimes wondering if this whole "connected parenting" thing can really work for your child, especially when you're facing those big emotions or defiant moments? Maybe you've heard people say, "That’s nice,…

  37. Case Study: Dealing with an "Authoritative Personality" in a Nine-Year-Old

    · 21 min · S5 E424

    Do you ever find yourself in those familiar power struggles with your child? Maybe it’s the daily screen time battle, that feeling of being rushed, or just their amazing, strong will challenging you at every turn. If…

  38. Why 'Good Enough' Parenting Is Exactly What Your Kids Need

    · 12 min · S5 E423

    Okay, friend, let's discuss the pressure of being the "perfect" parent. If you've felt overwhelmed by a toddler’s grocery store meltdown or a teen defying you, this episode is for you. I've been in the trenches,…

  39. The Neuroscience of Motherhood and Connection with Kate Kripke

    · 25 min · S5 E422

    Do you find yourself constantly striving for perfection in your parenting? Does the idea of not having all the answers or losing control fill you with anxiety? If you're a high-achieving parent who wants deep…

  40. The #1 Thing Kids Need From You (Especially When They Mess Up)

    · 8:59 · S5 E421

    Do you want your child to always feel safe enough to come to you, no matter what mistakes they've made? Are you sometimes unsure how to react when your child disappoints you, without resorting to punishment or…

  41. Are Schools Failing Your Child? Maybe Homeschooling Is the Solution

    · 19 min · S5 E420

    What if I told you that schools are actually killing your child's creativity? Is socialization really a problem for homeschooled kids? If you're looking for an insightful discussion that addresses these fears and…

  42. Handling Power Struggles Without Losing Connection

    · 9:03 · S5 E419

    Are you tired of constant power struggles with your child? Does it feel like every little thing turns into a battle? If you're longing for a more peaceful way to navigate these conflicts and maintain a strong…

  43. Case Study: Why Am I Triggered by My Kid’s Homework?

    · 19 min · S5 E418

    Do you ever find yourself saying things to your child that you instantly regret? Do you worry that your own upbringing is negatively influencing your parenting? Today,, I talk with Helen, a mom who's caught in a cycle…

  44. Raising Confident Kids Without Forcing Them Out of Their Shell

    · 7:20 · S5 E417

    What if I told you that forcing your child to be more social actually harms their confidence? Does it make you cringe when they won't say hello or engage with other kids? If you're tired of pushing your child to be…

  45. Parenting with Menopause Doesn't Have to Be Miserable! Learn How to Feel Great

    · 25 min · S5 E416

    You survived sleepless nights with a newborn, but what about sleepless nights with menopause? Is there an end in sight? I'm taking a short but important detour from our usual parenting topics to talk about something…

  46. Stop Thinking Your Child Is Too Sensitive: Why Tears Don't Mean Fragile

    · 9:23 · S5 E415

    Tired of feeling like you always have to "fix" your child's negative emotions? Do you find yourself rushing to make them happy, even when they're expressing sadness, anger, or frustration? If you're ready to shift your…

  47. Case Study: The Secret to Co-Parenting Peace (Even With a Difficult Ex)

    · 16 min · S5 E414

    Are you finding co-parenting more challenging than you ever imagined? Especially when it feels like you and your co-parent have completely different parenting styles? If you're navigating the complexities of divorce…

  48. Modeling Healthy Electronic Habits for Our Kids

    · 8:21 · S5 E413

    I used to think that setting strict limits was the answer to my daughter's iPad obsession. But I learned a powerful lesson: I needed to change my own habits first. In this episode, I'm sharing my story and the…

  49. Case Study: Navigating Picky Eating and Family Dinners with Connection

    · 13 min · S5 E412

    Why do family meals sometimes turn into battlegrounds instead of bonding moments? Have you ever dreaded dinner time, wishing it could feel joyful and connected again? If you’re wondering how to ease meal struggles and…

  50. Electronics and Kids – Finding the Balance Without the Drama

    · 14 min · S5 E411

    Are electronics truly the enemy of modern parenting, or can they coexist peacefully in our lives? With electronics being an undeniable part of our daily lives, today I explore how we can embrace them without…

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