Podcasts · Society & Culture · Health & Fitness
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Esther Perel Global Media
159 episodes
Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel on "Where Should We Begin" and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? For an ad-free version of our podcast, plus bonus episodes, behind-the-scenes content, and more, visit our Office Hours section.
Episodes page 2 of 4
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He Doesn't Believe in Marriage, But I Can't Let Go of the Hope
When her younger sister gets engaged, a woman finds herself spiraling with unexpected grief and frustration. She’s spent years in relationships with men who shy away from marriage, and the news stirs up deeper…
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Is It Our ADHD, OCD, and PTSD? Or Is It Us?
A couple sits down with Esther Perel to untangle trust, control, and intimacy after becoming parents. He feels weighed down by anxiety and responsibility; she struggles with ADHD, resistance to structure, and fears of…
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Breaking News Has Broken Us
This is a classic session of How's Work? A large and scattered network of journalists meet for a virtual session with Esther. Over the past year, they've reported on the biggest stories of their careers, but they are…
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Will This Heartbreak Ever End?
Nothing changes us quite like our first love—or our first heartbreak. After falling in love for the first time in his late twenties, he now finds himself navigating the pain of his first breakup. He comes to Esther in…
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I’m Afraid of Losing More Than Just the Business
She’s watching the company she co-founded unravel—strained partnerships, family entanglements, and the weight of guilt, anger, and responsibility pulling her in every direction. Now she wants to ask Esther: how can she…
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A Secret I Can't Even Tell My Therapist
Their marriage was turbulent and the divorce is now two years behind her—but she still can’t let him go. Torn between the part of her that knows it was unhealthy and the part that still longs for him, she’s preparing…
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Still Single at 40
In this classic Esther Calling, Esther meets a man who’s never been in a relationship for more than five months. As he approaches age 40, he knows the reason lies with him, and not the women he’s dating. Esther…
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Grief Begins With Love With Julia Samuel
Psychotherapist and bestselling author Julia Samuel invites us into a profound exploration of the twin forces of love and loss. With warmth and wisdom, she examines how grief reshapes us, how love anchors us, and how…
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Friendship - My Reliable Gift
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? In a Where Should We Begin first, Esther sits down with two friends. They’ve been close for so long they feel like brothers, with all of the baggage that comes with…
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I Fell For My Best Friend
He fell in love with his best friend. But when his best friend reconnected with an ex, it was too much to bear and he had to end the friendship. He wonders how to let himself fall in love again and move into the next…
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Stuck in the Middle
He prides himself on being an empathic confidante to his friends…but is it to a fault? In this classic episode of Esther Calling, we meet a man fed up with being the container for his friends’ relationship woes. But,…
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Two Conversations Esther Wants You To Hear From Sessions Live
Esther presents two conversations you have to hear from her clinical conference, Sessions Live. Listen in as psychiatrist and narrative therapist Paul Browde traces his journey from secrecy to aliveness. Growing up…
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Can Our College Friendship Survive Adulthood?
Friendship is a key thread of the social fabric. But what happens when the thread starts to fray? They met in college and have been close for a decade. Now, with long-term partners in the mix, their once-easy bond is…
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What Now? with Trevor Noah - Meet Esther Perel - One of My Favorite People
This week on Where Should We Begin we are sharing a very special episode of What Now? with Trevor Noah. Esther joins Trevor for a heartfelt conversation about the power of friendship. As Esther reflects on her…
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Never Been In a Long Term Relationship, Scared I Don't Know How To Do This
He's 42 and is in his first real relationship. And he's panicking. He's afraid he doesn't know how to be in a true romantic partnership. With Esther's help, he explores how his past has contributed to his fears of…
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Esther says "Run!"
Does loving him come with a price? After four months of dating, he’s asking her to cut ties with all of her exes. Is this a sign of love and commitment—or a red flag? In this episode, Esther unpacks the deeper dynamics…
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I Want To Fit In, But I Don't Want To Fit In
She is a single mother by choice. She lives in a very tight knit community with very traditional values. Now that her child is almost one, she's ready to date again but doesn't know where to begin. She seeks Esther's…
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First He Loved Bombed Me And Then It Was Over
She's grappling with the aftermath of a tumultuous relationship with a narcissistic partner. First, he love bombed her and made her feel special only to turn manipulative and aggressive in a time of need following her…
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Terms & Conditions May Apply: What We All Need to Know About Modern Dating
Dating often comes with a lot of questions. Who gets to say what they want? Who gets to be chosen? Who gets to choose? Should I stay on/off the apps? How much do I share, when, and how? This week, Esther gets set up on…
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I Took My Boss to Therapy
This is a classic session, from the second season of How's Work? From day one, they’ve described their relationship as “tumultuous," but there are highs as well as lows. One is new to the work force, the other is new…
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I Waited for You to be Ready but Now I’m 40 and Childless
They were in love for 6 years and building a life together. They froze embryos and agreed on a timeline for getting pregnant. But when the time came, he wavered, and the relationship fell apart. Now she finds herself…
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I Leave First So You Can't Abandon Me
This week, Esther talks to a caller who often feels let down by her friends. She longs for deeper and more meaningful relationships and worries she is perhaps expecting too much from them. Together, they explore how…
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Stuck Between My Daughter and My Husband
A mother comes to Esther for help dealing with the escalating conflicts between her husband and their teenage daughter. She's tired of being caught in the middle and blamed by both sides. Together, they explore the…
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I Can't Love You the Way You Want Me To
Their relationship is on the edge. They're grappling with communication issues and the emotional scars from their past. And they're trapped. Trapped in an endless cycle of blame, defensiveness, and attack. Esther tries…
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Do You Love Me for Me or For What I Do for You?
"Am I too much?" is a consistent frame for a relationship that so many people come to Esther with. This week, a Southern preacher who has made a career out of tending to the needs of others wonders if she's too much or…
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To Forgive My Ex-Husband I Need to Forgive Myself First
Esther talks with a young divorcée about the challenges of co-parenting with her ex-husband while wrestling with feelings of anger and frustration. They explore the impact of her past traumas and the difficulties in…
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You are Vocal on the Criticism But Silent on the Compliments
She feels abandoned by him, he feels choked by her, and their marriage is at a tipping point. They are a couple so focused on their kids that they have lost their connection and their sense of self. Despite creating a…
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Esther Perel Invites Us to Imagine Our Preferred Future
We all know the difference between being alive and feeling alive. The state of the world has many of us struggling with threat and uncertainty, both of which immediately constrict our imagination and our ability to…
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No Longer Daddy's Little Girl
Esther speaks to a woman who has been estranged from her father for almost two years for reasons she can’t quite figure out. Despite multiple attempts on her end to reconcile, she is now trying to grieve the loss of…
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I Can Break up with Him But I'm Still Stuck With Myself
Esther talks with a woman who is contemplating ending her five-year long-distance relationship. She reflects on avoidant behavior, stemming from a fear of intimacy and rejection, and the complex dynamics of her family…
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When the Turn On Becomes a Turn Off
Sexual preferences demand a lot of trust, intimacy, and vulnerability in relationships. This week, Esther talks with a couple who are refreshingly open and honest about their fantasies. But after 15 years of marriage,…
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I'm Keeping the Baby...Now What?
They had a whirlwind romance, and he spun a tale of their future to come—marriage, kids, a life together. He's in his mid-forties, and she is in her late thirties, and so after only three months together, she is…
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Is This Worth a Second Chance?
Should we have tried harder to make this work? What if you're the one who got away? These are the questions that keep us up at night. This week, Esther helps a couple who were together for eight years and broke up a…
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Are We Just Not Sexually Compatible? Part Two
For the first time in an Esther Calling, Esther speaks to the partner of the caller from last week to hear his perspective on the story. Then, she does a session with the two of them as they detail how they feel stuck…
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Are We Just Not Sexually Compatible?
This week, a caller wonders if she’s sexually compatible with her partner or if they’ve just become too adherent to their sexual patterns. Esther helps her untangle the traumatic pieces from her past before her current…
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Did I Get Ghosted or Is He Just Not That Into Me?
A young woman notices a pattern in her life of frequently being ghosted. And the last time this happened, it really stung. Not only did she lose a lover but she lost an important friend. Did this friend with benefits…
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I Don't Want to Turn Into My Mother
After becoming a mother for the first time, a young woman reflects on the complicated relationship with her own mother. Esther guides her through establishing boundaries with grace, breaking generational cycles, and…
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Grief is Like a Fingerprint
This episode contains discussions of a death by suicide. Please take care listening. Recently, on Where Should We Begin, we've been focusing on the things we sweep under the rug in our relationships—conversations that…
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Say More - Esther Perel on Fantasy with Gillian Anderson
Recently, on Where Should We Begin, we've been focusing on the things we sweep under the rug in our relationships—conversations that we have a hard time having with ourselves let alone with others. Oftentimes, our…
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How Many Times Can I Forgive You?
A year after explosive revelations of cheating and the existence of a 14 year old son her partner never told her about, a woman receives a call about a fresh round of betrayal. She is humiliated and in crisis, while…
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Finding Love Would Mean Letting Go of Who I Am
He's been searching for someone for so long that he questions if he's actually looking for a unicorn. He wants someone who holds the same religious values as he does. As is often the case with Esther, the conversation…
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You Are So Not Invited to My Wedding
Imagine meeting the love of your life at work. And a few months in, you want to keep the guy but ditch the job. Which is fine—until your fiancé wants to invite your evil ex-boss to the wedding. In this Esther Calling a…
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Love the Child, Not the Father
Theirs is an accelerated love story. They moved in, decided to have a baby, and are now struggling to weather the hardships of parenting together. She feels unsupported and like she's the only adult in the room. He is…
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Best Friends Don't Make For the Best Bosses
They have been best friends for years. He opened a book store and she was his first employee. Things were great until they weren't. She left to preserve the friendship- but a year later they still haven’t talked about…
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Say More - Miranda July and Esther Perel on The Rebirth of Desire
This week, Esther is in a borrowed bedroom in Los Angeles, the perfect place to talk about desire and the novel on every bedside table, All Fours. The writer, director, and artist, Miranda July, joins Esther to examine…
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Why Can't I Find Someone? Is it Me?
Esther speaks to a woman who feels frustrated and stuck in her dating patterns. She loves going on dates, regularly meets people out and about, and feels open to having multiple forms of a relationship. And still…she…
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We Had Boundaries and He Crossed Them
They were in a consensual, non-monogamous relationship and happily growing their family. But he broke the first rule of their relationship, and it resulted in a major crisis—an unplanned pregnancy involving another…
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You Keep Planning A Future Without Me
They met as community organizers in their neighborhood. She had just gotten out of a multi-year marriage to her ex-wife and began to forge new friendships. After about a year, something shifted for her and she began to…
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Four Affairs, Four Divorces. Why Do I Keep Doing This?
Four affairs and four divorces later, she is searching for answers as to why she can’t stop leaving in such an abrupt way. Despite longing for a life partner, she questions her ability to maintain a healthy and stable…
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What If I Break Up With My Dad?
Esther takes a question from a young woman struggling with her relationship with her father. A recent divorce and the slow reveal of an affair on the part of her father has ruptured the family- and leaves her…
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