Podcasts · What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

DEEP DIVE: Making the "Invisible Workload" Visible

12 May 2025 · 40 min

This Deep Dive series is all about why motherhood is so gosh darn hard. Turns out there are sociopolitical forces at play that make motherhood way harder than it needs to be. Listen to the full playlist on Spotify.

What should we do when all the work we do to run our family's lives is done so successfully that they not only don't acknowledge it—they don't even understand it? How do we help our partners understand that saying "I left the doctor a message, but they didn't call back" does not really count as a completed task?

It's all about what's called the "invisible workload." In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss:

• Whether "cognitive labor" (Allison Daminger) or "emotional labor" (Rose Hackman) might be even better terms for what we're talking about • Pushing back on "weaponized incompetence" • The difference between taking on tasks and taking on outcomes • The importance of giving voice to invisible labor in front of kids

Here are links to some interviews/books we mentioned in the episode:

• Our interview with Eve Rodsky • Mac Daniel for Harvard Radcliffe Institute: "The Unseen Inequity of Cognitive Labor" • FAIR PLAY by Eve Rodsky: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525541943 • EMOTIONAL LABOR by Rose Hackman: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250777355 • THIS AMERICAN EX-WIFE by Lyz Lenz: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593241127

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mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor, cognitive labor

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Links in the notes 8

• https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2QJZFnJSX9gP4GiCKrP8Su?si=40c54e84091746ec
• https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/changing-the-invisible-workload-with-guest-eve-rodsky/
• https://www.radcliffe.harvard.edu/news-and-ideas/the-unseen-inequity-of-cognitive-labor
• https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525541943
• https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250777355
• https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593241127
• https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
• https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices