Podcasts · Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Self-Acceptance: How to Accept Yourself Without Giving Up on Change

5 Oct 2026 · 1 h 01 min

Episode Self-Acceptance: How to Accept Yourself Without Giving Up on Change

0:00 1:00:56

Self-acceptance gets recommended constantly, but are we really supposed to accept the parts of ourselves we don't like? Won’t that stop us from changing? Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss what self-acceptance is, what it isn't, and why it’s the starting point for real change. They share the four stages of competence (and why conscious incompetence is where learning stalls), the two escape hatches people take from it, why harsh self-criticism is a form of avoidance, and Rick's three circles model of the act, the scared self, and the being.

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Key Topics

0:00: Intro

3:04: What self-acceptance is (and isn't)

6:43: The four stages of competence

10:59: Two bad exits: "idiot" self-acceptance and excessive self-criticism

13:24: Critical self-acceptance: judge the behavior, not the self

22:13: The three circles: the act, the scared self, and the ‘being’

26:44: The two things people struggle to accept

32:27: Should you accept the act?

43:20: Being with, working with, and the two levels of acceptance

51:35: Recap

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