Opening the book…
Figure 4.1: Emotional Intelligence - Self-Focused Core EQ Core EQ Skills
The image is a block diagram illustrating the emotional intelligence framework and highlighting the two skills, self-awareness and self-management. They are the self-focused (targeting ourselves) skills. The layout has three main sections:
- The left column labeled ‘Focus’ indicates who (target audience) the skills apply to.
- The two center blocks show the five interconnected skills and sub-skills.
- The right column labeled 'Objectives' indicates the desired outcome expected from the corresponding target audience.
Arrows in the center emphasize that the four skills are interconnected.
The red rectangle highlights the two skills, self-awareness and self-management, that will be covered in detail in this chapter. It also points out the fact that the two skills are self-focused (targeting ourself), and our objective is to become more aware (self-awareness) of our own emotions and manage (self-management) them to respond, not react. By learning to respond, we will project a better image of ourselves to your team and stakeholders.
Left Column: Focus (Identifies who the skills apply to)
- Self
- Others
The Two Center Blocks: Core Skills and Sub-Skills
- Leadership (A skill that involves the four core skills plus negotiation and decision-making)
- Social Awareness
- Organizational awareness
- Active listening
- Empathy
- Emotional boundaries
- Relationship Management
- Trust
- Empathetic communication
- Conflict management
- Stakeholder management
- Working with difficult people
- Self-Awareness
- Emotional awareness
- Behavioral flags
- Self-confidence
- Self-Management
- Emotional triggers
- Self-regulation
Right Column: Outcomes
- For Emotions: Learn to recognize
- For Self: Learn to recognize & respond to emotions
- For Others:
- Build stronger relationships & improve collaboration
- Inspire others to bring out their best
Figure 4.2.2: Emotions from trigger to impact
Figure 3.2.2 illustrates the physiological system of a human brain related to self-regulation. The limbic system of the brain processes and manages our emotions, behaviors, and memory. The amygdala and hippocampus are two key components of the limbic system. The prefrontal cortex (rational brain) handles planning, decision-making, and emotional regulation. Everything we experience enters the base of our brain as signals and travel through the limbic system before going to the prefrontal cortex.
Figure 4.2.4: Self-Regulation of Fear and Anger
Figure 3.2.4 illustrates a three-step approach for the self-regulation of fear and anger. Fear or anger is typically triggered by past or present events, projects, or people’s comments (the left-most trapezoidal block called Source). A failure in a past event is not a predictor of the outcome of the current project. People, processes, and tools are not the same. Therefore, it is important not to allow fear or anger from a past failure to overcome us in our current project, as doing so may negatively impact the outcome.
The three-step approach consists of recognizing, determining, and responding. In the recognition step (the block called Recognize), we need to identify the source (caused by situation or people) and type of emotion—whether it is fear or anger. In the next stage (the block called Determine), we need to determine whether the emotion is based on facts. If the emotion is fear and it is based on facts, we should acknowledge it and move forward (as per the box labeled "1") with a modified plan to address the fear. If it is not based on facts, dismiss the fear and continue with our current plan of action (as per the box labeled "2").
If the emotion is anger and it is based on facts, we should respond firmly and positively before moving forward (as per the box labeled "1") with a modified plan to address the anger. If it is not based on facts, we should still respond firmly and positively and then continue with our current plan of action (as per the box labeled 2).
Figure 4.2.5: Self-Regulation of Criticism and Blame
Figure 3.2.5 illustrates a three-step approach for the self-regulation of criticism and blame. Criticism and blame are typically triggered by people (the left-most trapezoidal block called Source). Both criticism and blame are opinions. Therefore, it is important to make sure any criticism or blame is fact-based, as doing so may negatively impact the outcome.
The three-step approach consists of recognizing, determining, and responding. In the recognition step (the block called Recognize), identify the type of emotion—whether it is criticism or blame. If it is criticism, it is important to dig down to find out if it is constructive (feedback), unwarranted, or self-criticism. In the next stage (the block called Determine), determine whether the criticism or blame is based on facts. If it is based on facts, consider it to be constructive criticism or feedback, thank the person, and proceed (as per the box labeled "1") with a modified plan to address it. If it is not fact-based, acknowledge it and proceed with the current plan of action (as per the box labeled "2"). There is no value in a defensive response.
This page titled 4.3: Alternative Image Descriptions for Chapter 4 was last modified on Sat, 19 Sep 2026 01:06:28 GMT and is shared under a CC BY 4.0 license and was authored, remixed, and/or curated by Ravi Ravikumar.
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