Clean crazy

Clean crazy by W. C. Tuttle is a humorous Western short story written in the early 20th century. Set around a Montana cattle outfit, it plays with frontier slang and farce; its likely topic is two cowboys whose attempt to get clean before a dance explodes into a whirlwind of mistaken identity, panic, and pursuit. Ranch hands Hen Peck (the narrator) and Telescope Tolliver head to a swimming hole, only to have their horses spook at goats and leave them stranded and naked on a busy road. With the county already riled by rumors of two escaped lunatics, passersby and a posse mistake them for the fugitives, and the pair flee through cactus, startle two girls, and get chased by a red steer into an alkali mud pit before clawing their way out by its tail. Returning for their clothes, they find the goats have eaten them, so they try to sneak home and get peppered with birdshot by the Mudgett sisters. After dark they break into the ranch house for clothes, accidentally lighting a match in a room full of visiting women and touching off fresh chaos, just as word arrives that the real “crazies” were caught elsewhere. Bruised, sunburned, and humiliated, they swear off any bath that requires undressing—vowing not to be “clean crazy” again.

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